Fushigi Yugi: Mysterious Play
Fushigi Yuugi: The Mysterious Play
Season 2
Chapter 15
Painful Memories
:Or:
My thoughts exactly.
By:
Night Mare
With Swim Camp and Subtitles from:
Annikia Valentine
Dedicated to:
The Mighty Royal Trumpet Loving Frog
--
Author's Quote: Excuses, enemies won't accept them, friends don't have them. ( from a sign in Latin Class)
--
It was so peaceful. He didn't feel like getting up. The sunlight slanted across his face and glowed behind his eyes. He welcomed the warmth, but not the interruption. Sleep was the only thing on his mind right now. That was until something bounced on his stomach, knocking the wind from him. He wheezed, and opened one eye to stare at the girl perched on his stomach.
"What do you want, Tiren?" he asked grumpily, tempted to hit her with the pillow if he had more than one. The ten-year-old grinned, showing the gap in her teeth.
"I know you're not mad at me, niichan, so don't even pretend you are," she said folding her arms and tossing her blue braids. He smiled. She was too cute to be mad at.
"No, I could never be mad at you," He patted her head, then rolled over, unseating her as he buried his face in the pillow. "Now let me sleep," he said, voice muffled. Tiren giggled and tugged at his collar.
"Nuh-uh, Houjun. Momma says to stop being lazy and do something useful. She has breakfast ready, too. She says if you're not down soon, I get to pour water on you." She grinned as if she was hoping he would try to stay in bed. Houjun knew be would be wet if he did.
"All right you, little midget. Just let me get dressed," he said, giving her a little shove.
"You're mean, niichan! I'm gonna go downstairs and eat all your rice," she said, then giggled and skipped from the room. He sat up and stretched. He still didn't understand the purpose of mornings. Houjun slipped on his clothes and walked downstairs into the main room. His little sister smiled at him from the table and he sat down across from her.
"Finally you're awake. One would think you were dead," his mother said, giving him a bowl of rice. He smiled up at her. Her brown hair was graying and she'd put on a little weight over the years but he still thought she was beautiful.
You exaggerate," Houjun said, taking a pair of chopsticks from her. "I just slept in a little while."
"Humph. A little while turns into an hour, an hour turns to two and soon you'll sleep yourself to death. Mark my words, they'll wake up one morning and find you dead in you're bed and you'll go to Suzaku-sama. What killed you? he'll ask. A wound? Some evil sickness? he'll ask. No, you'll say, I slept my life away. I was lazy to death! And you know what he'll say?"
"Welcome to heaven you can rest now?" Houjun said. Tiren giggled.
"Don't be smart. No. What? Lazy to death? He'll say. Go back and do it again, he'll say and you know what I'll say?"
"Don't come running to Momma," came a voice from the door. Houjun started to laugh. His mother folded her hands on her hips.
"Hikou! Such a rude boy."
"Yes, but you love me anyway," Hikou said, planting a kiss on her cheek.
"No I don't. Sit down, have you eaten breakfast?"
"Yes."
"Well have some rice anyway. You need your strength."
"All right, if you insist."
"I do," Mother wiped a spot a table for him and pulled out the chair. Houjun smiled as his friend sat down.
"Sometimes I think you come here just for the food," he said to the other boy.
"Your mother's a wonderful cook," Hikou said, winking at mother. She flapped a hand at him but was beaming.
"Flattery will get you nowhere," she said. "Would you like some egg with your rice?"
Houjun chuckled and Hikou did, too, but didn't say no. Houjun wasn't surprised. Hikou could eat a whole nest of eggs and still not be hungry. He had a bottomless stomach, it seemed.
"So, niichan. What are you planning to get Kouran?" Tiren asked.
"Get Kouran?" Houjun asked. Why would he need to get her anything? Tiren and Hikou sweatdropped.
"Your anniversary?." Tiren said, raising her eyebrows. "You've been engaged for two months from today. Or have you forgotten?"
"That's right !" Houjun said, snapping his fingers. " I knew today was special."
"What are you planning to give her?" Hikou asked, digging into his bowl as soon as it was presented to him and not looking up. Houjun smiled. Of course he hadn't forgotten. He knew what day it was…almost as soon as Mother said it. Anyway, he'd already gotten Kouran he present.
"A flower," he said.
"A flower, he says," Mother said, throwing up her hands. "A boy has been engaged for two months and all he can give his fiancée is a flower. Where did I get such a son?" the sat down herself, prodding at a rice bowl of her own but not eating. "Not from your father…, that's for sure." She said, putting hand to her face. "On my two month anniversary he gave me earrings…he didn't forget either."
"Sorry, Mother," Houjun said.
"He must have changed a lot then," Tiren said with a mischievous grin. "He had to be reminded twelve times about your birthday, ya know."
"Hush and eat your rice," Mother said, flapping a hand at her. Houjun chuckled. Father was notoriously forgetful. That's what came with being a reader, though, or at least that's what Mother said. He read to much, she always said, was going to read himself into an early grave if he wasn't careful.
"That's pretty sad even for you, Houjun-kun," Hikou said.
"Well what would you give Kouran?" Houjun asked. Hikou sweatdropped again and concentrated on his food.
"I don't know. A necklace."
"A pretty one?" Tiren asked. Hikou smiled at her.
"Yes. The best I could buy," he said. Tiren's face practically glowed.
"Show off," Houjun muttered.
"See? Hikou is a good son," Mother said. "Why can't you be more like your friend? Perhaps I should ask To-san if she would trade sons, eh?"
"He'd eat you out of house and home," Tiren said, reaching over to steal a bit of Hikou's egg. Hikou made a lazy move to stop her but didn't attempt to get his portion back.
"Whose side are you on anyway?" he asked. She smiled prettily and flipped a long cobalt braid over her shoulder.
"My own."
Houjun shook his head at his sister, then pulled the little bundle from his tunic. He carefully unwrapped the white cloth from around it. He smiled, it was still intact. Good. It was a simple hair comb with a white flower at the top. It was the most beautiful thing he could find to complement her, but even that couldn't compare.
"See Mother?" he said, holding it up. "A flower."
"It's…it's beautiful." She put a hand to her chest. "Would you let these old hands hold it?"
"I would, but they're not old." He rose to hand it to her, pecking her on the cheek as he did. Her eyes were suspiciously moist.
"Like I said, flattery will get you nowhere." She said as she lifted the comb gently. She traced the edges of the delicate petals and Houjun watched her carefully, noting the tear that ran down her cheek. A definite sign of approval. She handed it back and Houjun wrapped it up again carefully, tucking it back where it belonged.
"I keep it close to my heart," he said, putting a hand gently over it. "Just like her."
Mother sniffled.
"Houjun, you're too much. Just like your father. Maybe you should go back upstairs and rest some. Just to be fresh when you give it to her, eh?"
"No mother, I'm fine," Houjun said with a laugh.
"When are you going to give it to her?" Tiren asked.
"After me and Hikou go fishing."
"Fishing? You put fish before a fiancée?" Mother rose out of her seat, feigning anger. "Out of this house! Out! Out! Out!"
Houjun placed a kiss against his mother's forehead before grabbing his fishing pole from the wall.
"Bring back a nice fat one for your father's supper, eh? And watch out for Tiren!"
"Don't worry!" Houjun called cheerfully. The three exited the house and went down the winding road towards the river. It was such a beautiful day. The sun was high and the sky was blue. A cool early summer breeze rustled new green leaves and made the wildflowers that lined the road dance. Ah. What a perfect day to rest on the bank of a lazy stream and not do anything.
"Yeah, well I'm going now," Tiren said. "See you guys later!"
"Hold it," Houjun said, gently seizing one of his sister's braids. "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere," she said, her face a mask of innocence. Too much innocence if you asked him.
"Tiren," he said, a warning note to his voice.
"Just to the dam," she said, trying to pull her braid. Houjun sighed. The dam had become a gathering spot for the older children. Tiren used to be too young to want to play with them but now she was edging up there.
"The dam is dangerous," he said, giving her braid a little tug before letting it go.
"I know, we won't go up it, just…look at it." She grabbed his arm and gave him the puppy face. "Please, Oniichan?"
"Hmm." He wasn't sure. Tiren usually told the truth, but sometimes she got swayed, especially if the older children were involved. They weren't allowed near the dam either but children did what they wanted to do.
"Let her go, Houjun," Hikou said, clapping him on the back. "She won't get into any trouble. How could you say no to a face like that?"
Taking the hint, Tiren gave him big eyes, batting her eyelashes at him and cocking her head to the side. Ah, she was too cute. Entirely too cute. He could resist cute, though, especially when it came to a risk like that.
"Do you promise not to go up to the dam."
"Promise!" she said, clasping her hands under her chin, practically dancing to go off.
"All right," he said, but she was all ready down the street. He watched her go. Was this really a good idea? What if she did end up going up there? What if something terrible happened?
"Stop worrying so much," Hikou said. "She'll be fine. Mamma wouldn't want her son worrying himself into an early grave."
"I guess you're right," Houjun said with a smile he didn't quite feel. "Let's go pretend to fish."
"Now, correct me if I'm wrong, friend of mine," Hikou said as they started once more down the road. "But it appears to me that you're stalling giving Kouran her gift. Could you perhaps be having second thoughts?"
"I'm not stalling," Houjun said. Well not precisely. "I'm just waiting for the perfect time."
He expected a come back of some sort. Instead Hikou made a noncommittal noise and gave him a little smile. Houjun wondered at it for a moment, then let it go. Hikou had been acting a little strange lately. Maybe he was missing his old girlfriend. It was a pity she lived so far away.
"Maybe you can go see, Liu soon," he said, speaking of her. "I'm sure she misses you."
"I'm too tired to make that journey," Hikou said, picking up his pace a little. "Let's just fish."
It was something else then. Maybe they had stopped courting one another. Well, he would wait a few days and see if Hikou was still in this mood. No use talking about it now, especially so close to his and Kouran's anniversary. Still…. Houjun put a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"You know you can tell me anything," he said.
"Oh come on, Houjun." Hikou rolled his eyes. "Stop being so melodramatic. I'm fine."
Later, Houjun told himself. Later. To show that he believed him, Houjun smiled. Hikou said nothing and they went the rest of the way in silence.
--
Houjun laid, propped up against the tree, one hand around the fishing pole, the other behind his head. The clouds were so pretty and white. Kouran, beautiful Kouran, sweet Kouran, liked to make shapes out of clouds. He could never see her shapes very well. She always managed to find children or wedding celebrations. All he saw were rabbits and sailing ships. It might be that she was trying to give him a hint. He hoped not. Kouran liked to drop hints and always got mad when he didn't catch them.
Cloud watching was their favorite pastime, especially by the river where she would sit on the edge and dangle her feet in the water. Houjun always liked to watch the clear water lap at her slender ankles, her delicate feet. Sometimes she would put her hand on his and lean over, her perfect pink lips planting a warm small kiss on his cheek. If he timed it just right, he could turn his head and get one of those sweet kisses right on his mouth. She would laugh, then, and scold him, but always gave him a second kiss. In the mid summer when all the wildflowers bloomed, she would weave necklaces for him and he would come home decked with flowers and littering petals all over the house. And sometimes, on warm nights, they would sit out together and watch the stars, just staring at the great expanse in the heavens, and she would sing for him. Her voice was light and a little breathy but it was always the sweetest melody.
"Houjun! Hello? Hoooujuun!"
"Hm?" Houjun blinked and looked over at his dark haired friend who gave him an exasperated look. He realized Hikou had been calling him a long time.
"Are you awake?" Hikou asked with a wry smile.
"Sorry," Houjun said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head and sweatdropping. "Where you saying something?"
"Only for the past ten minutes. What were you thinking about?" Hikou asked. Houjun sat up, spreading his arms wide and going chibi.
"Kouraaan!" he crowed.
"Figures," Hikou muttered. Suddenly a huge fish jumped over Houjun's line. "Woah! Did you see that?"
"That's a big FISH!" Just then the fish pulled, nearly pulling the three foot tall Houjun after him. Hikou grabbed onto his small friend and held him back from being pulled into the water.
"Grow up would ya?" Hikou said. Houjun returned to his original height, sending both boys tumbling to the ground and the fish sailing over their heads to land on the ground behind them.
"Ow…" Houjun groaned. They went over the fish to inspect it. It was fat and gray and still flopping.
"Nice catch," Hikou said, whistling appreciatively. "Should we bring it back now or fish some more?"
They looked at each other. Houjun pried the hook out of the fish's mouth and re-cast his line. Hikou re-cast as well and the two sat in silence. Maybe he should catch a fish for Kouran. She preferred to watch the live fish, though. He wondered if there was some way he could make something for her so she could keep the fish in a bowl or something.
"When…when are you planning to get married anyway?" Hikou asked, breaking into his thoughts. Houjun blinked.
"Soon, I don't know exactly when. Maybe in a few months."
"Why so soon?" Hikou turned to look at him. "I mean, don't you want to wait…until you're more…adult?"
"I'm nineteen. That's old enough; at least mother seems to think so. Why…do you object?" Houjun said, a joking tone in his voice. Hikou laughed.
"Of course not. Why would I object to my best friend getting married to the woman he loves?"
"Which reminds me, I'm supposed to meet Kouran at noon." Ah, Kouran at noon, with the sun shining on her hair, lighting her eyes. He couldn't wait! "I'd better get going. Kouran will not be happy if I greet her smelling like fish!"
"Where are you planning to meet?" Hikou asked, voice sounding hollow.
"By our tree…the one at the edge of the village."
--
Houjun looked in the mirror and brushed his wet bangs down across his forehead. He admired how the effect they had; it made him appear less boyish. He began concentrating on the rest of his hair. When he looked back in the mirror he sweatdropped. His bangs had popped up again, hanging out over his face like they always did.
"Why do you do this to me today?" he groaned. "Cooperate would you?" He brushed them down again. Then put the gift in his tunic and went to say good bye to his parents.
"There's my son. You look nice for your fiancée. Thank Suzaku-sama, you're not completely hopeless." His mother put both hands to his face and smiled.
"Poppa, Poppa come and see how nice your son looks," Mother said. His father looked up at him from the scroll he was reading and grunted.
"Not bad. Are you going to see your girl, then?"
"Yes, Father."
"Don't let her trap you with looks. That's how your momma caught me."
"Poppa, you're too much. Flattery will get you nowhere. Would you like a shoulder rub sweetheart?"
"Maybe later."
Houjun chuckled and shook his head. Those two never changed. Mother began to fuss over him straightening his clothes. He indulged her, knowing that she would find wrinkles he couldn't even spot.
"It's too late anyway, Father. I'm already trapped."
"And you don't want to get out either… do you?" Father asked.
"No," Houjun said. His father smiled.
"I know just how you feel," he said. Mother shook her head, putting her hand to her chest.
"Such sweethearts are my men. I must have done something right to get such men. Handsome, too. But, Houjun, why don't you ever brush down those bangs like I tell you to? They hide your handsome face. Your hair is just like your father's. Why don't you fix it, love?"
"It won't stay down, Mother."
"Humph." The woman licked her hand. "Momma will help you. Come here." Houjun sweatdropped.
"Bye Mother," he said, darting forward and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then beat a strategic retreat.
"Come back here! Such a terrible son!" Mother said, as he closed the door. Houjun shook his head, smiling. He wouldn't want another family for all the money in the world.
Now he was going to someone else he loved. Kouran. Kouran. Kouran Kouuraaan. Her name was sweet in his mind. They had been childhood friends at first, he and her and Hikou, playing together near the stream. But then, when he turned fifteen, he started to notice what a beautiful woman she was becoming. So sweet. Her laugh so infectious. Her kind smiles. The serenity that seem to flow around her like a cloak. He knew that somewhere she had flaws. He just didn't feel like remembering them.
He took the gift out of his tunic and unwrapped it. The delicate flower gleamed in the light. He smiled; it was so beautiful and would look even more so in her hair. His flower, his Kouran. He could see the tree now. He quickened his pace.
"This may be the last chance. I have to do this…." Hikou's voice stopped him. It was …coming from behind the tree. That was odd, what was he doing here? What did he mean? Houjun started to walk again, picking up his face, feeling strangely suffocated but he didn't know why.
"Hikou, I…" Kouran's soft voice was abruptly cut off. Then he saw them, underneath the shade of the tree. Kouran was wrapped in Hikou's embrace, her perfect lips against his, kissing him. Houjun's body went numb. He watched them and watched them. He couldn't tear his eyes away. What… What… Hikou's hand reached up and stroked through her hair, his hand so tenderly in her hair. She whimpered a little, the sound tearing through Houjun and making it hard to breathe.
Stop kissing her. Stop! STOP! His mind screamed. As if Hikou heard him, he broke away, smiling down at her, he stroked her cheek, her soft cheek as perfect as a peach blossom.
"Let's just stay like this, Kouran," Hikou said, voice thick with emotion. "Forever. Just you and me. Please."
Houjun's heart felt like it was being twisted apart, wrenching right out of his chest. Anger was there too, rising in his throat, so much that his hands trembled. He tried to control it. Nothing good would come from it. Pain pricked against his palm but Houjun ignored it. Tried to focus. It was a misunderstanding. Just a misunderstanding.
"Hi…Hikou…" Kouran reached up, as if in slow motion, her tiny hand touching his. Her voice breathless.
"No!" Houjun said, the word tore out of him. Both started, looked at him, surprise and guilt written across their faces. Hikou looked down and Kouran went pale.
"Houjun," Hikou started and a second later, Kouran said,
"Houjun…"
"No! How could you? What—You were my friend! " He was almost screaming. It was too loud but he couldn't— He couldn't--Tears were burning the back of his eyes. "You were my friend!"
"No, Houjun," Hikou said, coming toward him, face pale, hands trembling. "Listen you have to understand--"
"What…so tell me what…? "
"L…look, I love Kouran…and…and she…"Hikou started.
"She what? She loves you too? Is that it? Is that why you've been so distant because you couldn't tell me the truth? "
"Houjun," Kouran came up to him, putting her hands against his chest. She was crying too. "Houjun…please…I know it's hard but listen…"
"No!" He didn't want to hear it. Couldn't hear it from her. Didn't want to hear those words. "Here," he put the comb in her hand. "Happy Anniversary." He turned and started to walk away.
"No, Houjun!" Hikou said.
"Oh gods, Houjun, please!" Kouran cried. Houjun broke into a run, trying to get away, get as far away as he could. The image was burned into the back of his mind. How long… How long had they been together? How long had they been in love? Everything was a lie! A damned lie. They…they…
He ran until he couldn't run anymore, finally stumbling to a stop near the edge of the village, he collapsed to his knees in the grass, bending over, his fists pressed against his stomach. He felt like he was going to be sick. Sobs tore out of him no matter how much he tried to keep them back. He buried his face in his hands, taking his right hand away as he suddenly smelled blood. There were ten small puncture wounds there, from the comb. The beautiful comb…that meant nothing. Everything he had done. He clawed his hands in the dirt. Why? Why? Why did they do that to him?
--
Houjun stared out the window at the pounding rain. It always seemed to be raining. Rain, rain, rain, harsh, pounding rain. He stared at it, watching it. The scrolls he'd been studying left abandoned. His room a mess. What did he care. Rain. Rain. Kouran hated the rain.
He looked away from the window, clenching his hand into a fist. He hadn't seen Kouran in two weeks. He missed her. Gods he missed her. But he didn't think he could ever look at her again, without seeing her…without seeing her like that…with him. Houjun took a deep breath and calmed himself. Today was the day though. He had thought long and hard about it last night and new today would have to be the one, before he lost his courage completely. Today he would find out why she had done this to him. Why she hadn't told him. Why she had felt to do that to him.
She didn't do that to you, said a rational voice in the back of his mind. You stumbled onto something you weren't supposed to see.
How many other secrets did she have, he wondered. What else was she hiding from him? He would ask her, but he wouldn't be mad. No. He would just talk to her like a calm, rational adult. Houjun took a few more moments to prepare himself , then nodded and walked downstairs.
"Don't go out now, you'll get soaked," Mother said. He shrugged and went out anyway. The rain was cold and froze his skin. Thunder rumbled overhead. It was the perfect day for it. Even though he wouldn't let that affect his mood. He just wouldn't. He would remain calm. He started toward her house. After all, even though she had hurt him, he still loved her; he just wanted to know why. Was it something he'd said? Hadn't he been good enough? If she loved Hikou why couldn't she just have told him.
He didn't know what he wanted her to say. Didn't know what he expected her to say. Just something to explain away what had happened. Despite his intentions, he felt the anger surge inside of him. Hikou. Hikou had done this. He had…fallen in love with her and she with him. But how could he be angry? Whether Hikou had stolen his fiancée or not, he was still his best friend. They had been best friends for a long time. It was stupid to break up over a girl. But she's not just any girl, his mind persisted, she was the one you loved. She was the one you were going to marry. He took that from you. He still wouldn't be angry with his friend. He couldn't. Not until he talked with Koran. If Hikou could make her happy then…then so be it. He would be happy for them. It sounded a lot easier then it was done, he knew. Instead he smiled. He smiled hard. Trying to let the rain wash away his pain. He would smile and they would talk and it would be all right.
He slowed as he approached her house. A strange nervousness welled inside him. He hadn't been this nervous since he'd come to ask her to marry him. He cursed mentally and pushed the word out of his mind. She would just tell him, say what she wanted to say, and then he would get out.
He knocked on the door. No one answered so he knocked harder, trying not to shake. It would be all right. It would be all right. Kouran's father answered it looking pale and haggard, even more so when he finally recognized him.
"Houjun…" the man said. Houjun tried to smile.
"I'm here to…" he trailed off as he looked into the house beyond her father and saw her lying on an ornate bed, a white covering draping over her chest, her face so pale against the darkness of her hair.
"Kouran?" Houjun moved inside, her father stepping away to let him through. Houjun hurried over to her side. She was so pale. So very pale. So still. She didn't even seem to breathing.
"Kouran? Kouran? It's me, Kouran?"
"Houjun," her father said brokenly. "Dear Houjun."
Her mother, who sat in the corner, broke into a fresh round of sobs. Houjun's chest tightened. No. No it couldn't be. It couldn't be!
"Kouran!" he said, his voice cracking. He picked up her hand, her arm was so stiff, her hand so cold. There was a long angry red line on her wrist. Oh, Suzaku. Houjun couldn't stop staring at it. It...it was…. It…it c..couldn't be.
"We didn't even know," her father said, half sobbed. "Didn't even see it…she…she was talking about…about Hikou last night and then…then later we found her…"
"We threw the cursed knife out the window," her mother sobbed. "Did everything we could…but…but in the end… My baby. My sweet baby!"
Houjun stood let her hand down and put a hand to her cold cheek, once so warm. Then he turned and began to walk, one foot in front of the other. Her parents were calling his name but he couldn't hear them. The rain hit him like icy needles, fingernails jabbing at him, admonishing him. He walked around the house, staring at the ground even as her image was in the back of his mind. Kouran… The lightning flashed and something winked at him. The knife… He crouched and picked it out of the mud. It was just a fish knife. Like he and Hikou carried. Hikou…
'She was talking about Hikou…' her father's voice voice rang in his mind. Hikou…. At the name anger fought its way through him. Hikou. Houjun clutched the knife. Hikou! What had he done to her? How had he driven her to that? Why did she do that? Why was he gone? Why? The word echoed in his head as he walked. He had to find Hikou. He had to find Hikou. Tell him, confront him. Find him.
Suddenly something grabbed at his shirt from behind, he jerked around and glared, clenching his teeth. It was Tiren. She took a step back, then reached for him with a trembling hand.
"Oniichan! Oniichan!," she cried over the rain. Her face was pale and tear streaked. She was crying, saying something about the dam, getting in the way. He didn't have time for this.
"Get off!" he snapped. He pulled his tunic out of her grip and kept walking. She grabbed his arm.
"Houjun! Where are you going? We have to warn the others!"
"Let go!"
"No! You have to help!"
"Get off me!" he yelled, jerking his arm away violently. She was flung back and landed hard on the ground. She whimpered stared at him with wide eyes.
"Oniichan?" she asked in a tiny, scared voice.
"Houjun!" Hikou's voice rose over the rumbling sound. Houjun tensed, turning around, seeing his friend coming toward him. His friend. It was his fault. His fault that Kouran was dead. He was the one that had taken her away from him! Hikou stopped and backed up, his eyes widening.
"Houjun…you're not planning to use that are you?" Hikou said with a half laugh. Houjun began to walk toward him, picking up speed as he went, letting then anger build and build. Hikou backed up, eyes wide. Then turned around and ran.
"You bastard!" Houjun screamed as he chased after him, the rain roaring in his ears, a red mist covering his eyes, his pulse pounded in his temples, loud as his anger screamed within him. A small part of him was scared but that didn't matter. Everything was gone! Gone! Hikou stopped abruptly and turned.
"No. I refuse to run any longer," he said, raising his hands. You're going to listen to me explain."
"I don't care!" Houjun snapped, swinging the knife at him. Hikou cursed and jumped back. "I know what I saw! I KNOW!"
"It wasn't meant to happen!" Hikou shouted.
"Well it did happen!" Houjun swung again, but again the other boy managed to dodge it. He wouldn't give up! He kept pressing, slashing the knife downward, wanting to cut, wanting Hikou to feel as much pain as he was feeling. A loud thundering sound, like the hooves of many horses, boomed over the rain. The ground trembled under his feet but he ignored it only concentrating on Hikou.
A huge swell of gray water came bursting into view. It charged across the land beside them, devouring everything in its path. The flood didn't touch them however. They were just far enough from the surging waters.
Hikou looked at the water with wide eyes. Houjun saw his chance. He leapt for his friend again, knife aimed for the killing blow. Houjun brought his arm up just in time and the knife grazed his skin. Then he grabbed his hand, trying to wrestle the weapon away from him. Houjun tried to drive the knife forward.
"You stole her!" Houjun cried, the tears mixing with the anger. "You killed her!"
"Killed her? I don't know what you're talking about, but I didn't steal her!"
"How could you do that to me?!" he was crying, screaming in the rain, wanting to hurt, wanting some way to vent the terrible hot anger burning away inside his soul.
"Gods, Houjun, stop! This isn't like you! Could you just listen?!"
"No!" Houjun ripped his hand free and shoved Hikou back. The boy stumbled and almost fell into the water. He stood right on the edge of the bank. Houjun lifted the knife again.
"She never loved me!" Hikou cried. Houjun paused. The knife was trembling in his hand and he was breathing heavily.
"I loved her…I always have! But she…"The rest of Hikou's words were cut off as the bank crumbled under his feet and he dropped into the turbid water. Oh gods! Oh gods, Hikou! Houjun threw the knife to the ground and leapt to grab Hikou's hand so he couldn't go under, trying to keep his friend above the water.
"Houjun…" Hikou said, yelling to be heard over the roaring. "I know it wasn't right. I just wanted one kiss before I lost her. I didn't mean for it to happen. But she she only loves you. You are her world!"
Was that true? Was that…true? Kouran. His sweet Kouran with her laughing voice, her gentle touch. She would…she wouldn't have ever… Oh gods… Oh sweet Suzaku what had he done? Houjun gripped Hikou's hand tighter, trying to find traction on the muddy ground to pull his friend up, tears blinding his vision and choking in his throat.
"I never meant to betray you, Houjun!" Hikou said.
"I know," Houjun said, voice only raised to be heard. And he did. He knew. He knew. "I'm a fool…"
"We both are. Now help me out of here!" Hikou said. Houjun pulled up, while Hikou struggled to climb. The bank gave way under Houjun's fingers causing Hikou to drop again.
"Don't let go of me!" Hikou cried.
"I won't! I swear! Just hold on…." He saw something out of the corner of his eye. Something rushing through the water at him at lightning speed. It was the limb of a tree, branches curling up like ragged claws. Houjun couldn't move in time. Oh…oh no…
He screamed. The sharp branches tore at his eye, ripping, tearing into his skin. Pain shot through his head. He screamed. It hurt so much. The blood streamed down his face like tears. He felt his grip beginning to loosen. He couldn't let go. He couldn't let go! Help me, Suzaku! Please, help me! Give me strength!
"Houjun!" Hikou cried. Whatever else he was going to say was drowned out by the rushing water and he heard nothing else for a long time.
--
--
"When I woke up, everything I knew was gone," Chichiri said. That was enough, he doubted he could speak more about it. Even then, he hadn't told her all of it, keeping the details like treasured bittersweet memories, still too close to share, but he hoped he told her enough.
The miko said nothing. He glanced down at her and saw her looking out over the water, a distant expression in her eyes. Her eyebrows drew together, as if something was paining her, as if she were trying not to cry. Had he upset her? He hadn't meant to.
"But that was a long time ago, no da," he said, slipping his mask back on. Though it still hurt, and no matter how he tried to live on or what he tried to tell himself, it was a little weight that he carried in his heart, and always would.
"I bet it still hurts, though," Sharon said softly, as if she had read his thoughts. His heart jumped. He tried to think of something to say to that, glad that the mask was smiling blankly for him.
"Gah, sorry, that was tactless," she scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her sleeve. Her voice was a little wavery. "It's just so sad. No one should have to go through something like that."
Chichiri shifted his grip on the pole. He wanted to say that most of the terrible things he had bought down on his own head. However, he didn't want her to think that was why he was telling her this. He didn't think it was her fault at all what happened to her friend. Instead he remained silent and let her draw her own conclusions.
--
Sharon bowed her head and stroked Tama-neko who was dozing on her lap. Chichiri was quiet and now that his mask back on it was impossible to guess what he was thinking. His story had hurt to hear, but now she understood. Chichiri's fiancée had killed herself and Amanda had almost, how she must have suffered. How she must be still suffering, trapped there with no one to save her.
"I won't let her go, Chichiri," Sharon said, clenching her hand into a fist. "I won't give up on her." No matter what Amanda did. Sharon wouldn't let go. She would hold on and be Amanda's friend. Even if the entire world fell around her ears.
"I'm glad," he said. His voice was serious but when she looked up at him he was still wearing his mask. As if the real him had spoke behind it. He must be hurting to. He had to be. Suddenly she remembered the field he had brought her and Nuriko to after they'd nearly gone over the waterfall. Had…had that been where he was from? She didn't want to ask him. She couldn't even imagine how it must have felt being there. There had been nothing there that she could remember. Not even the ruins of a house. Just grass and the rush of running water.
Still, she didn't feel like she knew him. She did, of course. Knew more about him then she ever had, but she didn't really know him. She knew what he wanted her to know. What he wanted to show of himself. That was all right, she told herself. Everyone deserves a mask of some kind or another. Even though she suddenly wanted to see him again, his real face. There was no way she could ask something like that.
"I made the mask because people found the scar disturbing," he said, his voice cheerful. Sharon looked up at him. That wasn't the only reason, she bet. With a small inward sigh, she leaned against his shoulder and put a hand on his back, feeling the heat there and being a little surprised though she didn't know why. Everyone was human, she realized, in a start. No matter what masks they wore, everyone hurt and felt pain and joy. Everyone had someone that cared about them. Even that good for nothing, son-of-a-bitch, bastard known as Mr. Poofy hair probably had feelings that she didn't know about. That wouldn't stop her from kicking his ass when she could.
"Well I don't find your scar disturbing at all," she said. "I like you whether your mask is on or off and I'm glad you're my seishi." Even though she felt kind of awkward, she reached around and gave him a little hug. "And my friend."
Chichiri shifted and Sharon looked up to see that he had taken off his mask and was smiling at her. His eye was dark brown and filled with so much kindness as he smiled at her that she couldn't help but smile back.
"I'm glad you're my friend, too," he said. She leaned up and kissed his cheek.
"Chichiri…" she started.
"Yoohoo!" Nuriko called from behind. "Sharon, are you busy? I need you to help me pack!"
Sharon glanced around at the waving seishi, raising her eyebrows. Why did Nuriko need her help? Didn't he have maids to do that kind of thing? She looked down at the cat that purred in her lap and scratched him under the chin.
"What do you think, Tamanama-neko? Shall we?"
"Mrow!" Tama-neko said, climbing up on her shoulder. She giggled.
"My thoughts exactly." She pulled her feet from the water and stood, holding Tama so he wouldn't have to take an accidental swim.
"Happy fishing, Chichiri!" she said cheerfully. He had put his mask back on and was smiling at her.
"Thank you, no da! Happy packing!"
She smiled and waved to him before walking toward Nuriko. The purple haired seishi came to meet her and looped his arm through hers.
"Thank you," Nuriko said. "I've decided to pack almost all boy clothes for this journey and I don't know what to pick out." He put a hand to his face. "I just don't know what looks good in boy clothes anymore!"
"What makes you think I'll be any better at deciding?" Sharon asked.
"Well I know whatever you pick, I won't take!"
Sharon narrowed her eyes and gave Nuriko a fake glare. She could tell he was just joking. Or at least he better be.
"Meanie," she said.
"What do you mean? I'm almost perfect!"
"Perfectly something anyway," Sharon muttered, but didn't really mean it. Nuriko's smile dropped a little.
"Seriously, though, I thought it would be something fun for you and me and Ann, to do. You know, a little girl bonding before we go away." Nuriko seemed sad. He would miss Ann, too. She was starting to understand the way things worked. Sometimes, in order to get done what needed to be done, you had to leave some precious things behind… No matter how much it hurt.
--
Chichiri watched her go, then turned back to the lake, smiling out over the water. Despite her flaws, her recklessness and her inability to stay out of trouble, he was glad that she was the miko. Right now he wouldn't give up his position as her seishi for anything in the world.
--
The emperor stared in frustration at the blond general standing before the throne. The man took the most inconvenient times to bother him. Seiryuu seishi or no, General Nakago was, at times, a nuisance. A stubborn nuisance. It would be quicker just to hear his demands now, or he would be back again. The emperor sighed heavily, showing his displeasure, and waved the concubines off him. They went and stood just out of sight, ready to pleasure him again at the flick of his fingers.
"What did you say you wanted now?" the emperor said, concentrating on the man in front of him.
"Permission to search for the shinzaho, my lord," he said, his voice calm and completely free of emotion. The emperor grabbed a ripe fruit out of a golden bowl and turned it over in his fingers thoughtfully.
"What is the shinzaho?"
"An object we need to summon Seiryuu."
"Why can't we summon Seiryuu now?"
"One of the seishi has died."
"Right, right. Which one was that again?" There were so many he could never keep track. The emperor bit into the fruit but it was too tart for his taste. Bah, how dare they serve this to him.
"Amiboshi," the general said.
"Inconvenient time to die, don't you think?"
"As you say, my lord."
The emperor tossed the fruit over his shoulder in disgust.
"Can't you have it brought to you?"
"That would not be wise. The Suzaku no Miko and her seishi will be after it as well. Normal men would not be able to stand up to them. Not even our best."
"No. It is too expensive. We have already wasted enough on this brainless…seishi search. We will put no more."
"You will have Konan defeat you?" General Nakago said, raising his eyebrows in slight impudence. The emperor waved his hand dismissively.
"They don't even have half of the men we do, our army will…"
"Be nothing if they summon Suzaku. Your Majesty in order to get anything we need to summon Seiryuu," the general said quickly. Rather boldly. He'd been getting a lot more bold of late…and his expenses had been almost unforgivable.
"It would almost seem you want something from this, Nakago," said the emperor, eyeing the younger man carefully. The blond stared back at him calmly. His freakish blue eyes reflecting nothing of his inner self.
"I want nothing, save for prosperity for my country," the general said coldly.
"Of course, of course. Do you realize that your attitude far exceeds your pretty face?"
The general had nothing to say to this effect. The emperor leaned back and adjusted himself.
"Although your face isn't as pretty now as it was when you were a younger boy. Do you remember that? Do you remember how I treated you as a son?"
"Yes…vividly." Was there just an undertone of malice in Nakago's voice? Ah, it didn't matter. The emperor smiled, lost in the fond memory and stroked his fingers on the arm of the throne.
"Of course, of course," he muttered to himself.
"Your Majesty, do we have permission to search for the shinzaho?"
"What?" the older man straightened. Then sighed. "Yes, yes. Go search if you must. Try to keep the costs down. That means no excessive drinking and no whoring. I detest whoring…especially among my generals."
"Yes my lord." The general bowed just as much as was necessary, than turned and strode from the room. The emperor rested back and smiled again.
--
Nakago pushed the memories away forcefully. It was not something he wanted to remember. In memories came emotion and he didn't want that either. Emotion was a weakness…a waste of time. He had tried to erase his mind of them but he could never completely do so. One day he would…but that day was far in coming and he'd rather concentrate on today rather then tomorrow.
The feeling of chi made him pause. It was close, elevated and angry. He knew who it was even before Suboshi darted around the corner. Nakago grabbed his arm and twisted it, perhaps harder than necessary. The boy yelped and his weapons leapt defensively around him, spinning wildly in threat. Nakago stared at him impassively.
"Let go!" Suboshi snapped, angry tears streaking down his young face.
"Where are you going?" Nakago asked, easing his grip just slightly so that Suboshi wouldn't inadvertently wrench his arm out of it's socket. That would be an inconvenience he just didn't want to deal with.
"I'm going to kill them. All of them!" Suboshi howled, struggling. His ryuuseisui reflected his anger, curling wildly around each other, looking for a target.
"The Suzaku seishi?" Nakago asked, just to make sure. The boy's scowl told him his answer. "They will destroy you. You don't stand a chance." To emphasize his point, Nakago grabbed one of the ryuuseisui to stop it from spinning and dampened Suboshi's chi around it with his own until the weapon fell limp and useless.
"Then I will die fighting them," Suboshi said, voice cold. He meant this. What a foolish boy. He truly didn't understand anything. Losing him would be too inconvenient, especially since Lady Amanda seemed to have grown fond of him in her own biting way. Keeping him here, though, wouldn't be easy. Nakago could very well incapacitate him and have Soi guard him in case he chose to try again, the taste for revenge would never sate itself. Suboshi would keep trying to run until he had his own version of justice.
However… There was another way, wasn't there? Nakago smiled. Yes. That would do. It would be almost perfect, honestly. There was a chance of Suboshi being discovered and killed anyway, though of course Nakago would send Soi to oversee and try to prevent that. However, if Suboshi did die, well he could easily console Lady Amanda with the fact that he had died in a noble way to get revenge for his dearly departed brother.
"Of course, you could kill as many as you can before you die," Nakago said, letting go of Suboshi's arm, but putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him there. "But they'll only die once. There is something you can do to make them die repeatedly and share in the agony that you feel."
"What?" Suboshi looked up at him, suspicious but still listening. Nakago smiled.
