A/N: Daww, I missed you guys too! :D
Lost Cause
It's his job. Being in this special operation requires apathy, a cold heart, and dead eyes, making him just the man to do it. Of course this doesn't mean he likes it. However, when he runs into three young teens in the worst possible situation a life could lead, it turns out that he isn't as heartless as he once thought he was. Modern day AU: Officer Levi, Prostitute Eren. (Lots of trigger warnings. You're going to hate me so much for this fanfic.)
Rated M for adult themes, sexual content, adult language, violence and gore, child abuse, rape, drug abuse, oh so much more that I can't even list.
Main pairing: Riren. Other pairings with side pairings.
Anime: Shingeki No Kyojin (Attack on Titan)
Chapter 46: It Takes More than This
He heard voices. Distant. Blurred together. Morphed, like he was underwater. They were calling out, screaming, crying, and yelling. There was a pressure on his chest, more screaming, and then a beep.
An incessant beep. Continuous.
His whole body felt heavy, including his eyelids, but he managed them open. He was blinded by bright lights, shadows above him, something warm on his cheek.
"He's waking up..." Everything was still murmured, but he was beginning to make out voices. Words. His brain was taking its time, but he was making out what was being said.
"Holy shit..."
"Can you hear us?"
His throat felt like it was lit on fire, scratchy with sand paper, and yet he still tried to make out words. All he could manage was a small nod, but even that seemed to ask for more than his body could produce.
He wanted to tell them that it was too bright, that everything burned, but he couldn't seem to speak.
"Oh my god..."
"You should tell the kids..."
"Not yet..."
"Why...?"
"Let him really wake up first."
The kids? Where were they? He didn't hear their voices, but he found himself questioning where they were.
Where was he even?
"B-Bright..." It hurt just to speak a syllable, but he couldn't handle the light shining in his eyes.
"What...?"
"Turn down the lights some. I think they're hurting his eyes..."
A few moments later, the room flooded into darker lighting. There was still enough light to see everything, and yet dark enough he no longer needed to squint. Pressure was taken off of him as his eyes opened fully. Everything was blurry, but he could make out blonde hair, blue eyes. Another figure, a brunette with glasses.
"Erwin..." He wasn't sure if he said that more questionably or with a sigh of relief. More pressure was on his head, this time in the form of Erwin's hand as he touched his forehead.
"His fever broke..."
"Finally." The pressure on his cheek, which he realized was Hanji's hand, was gone. A cold spot was in its place, but he suddenly realized that he was covered in a layer of sweat.
"It broke about half an hour ago..."
Another person was there with them, but he couldn't seem to recognize the voice, nor find them.
"Shit, Levi. You wanna scare us anymore?" Hanji asked and suddenly leaned out of his vision.
"It wasn't his fault. Let's just be thankful he's alive." Erwin said, his hand moving. Levi assumed he was touching the woman judging by the motion.
"Where...? Where am I...?" His mind was slowly coming together, less fogged over the more time he spent awake.
"In the hospital..." Erwin answered him. "You were shot twice... Nanaba... She just deemed it no longer life threatening a few days ago."
"Until you got a damn fever." Hanji sounded annoyed. Pissed even. What had he done wrong?
No, it wasn't him. Hanji always came across angry when she was upset.
The words spoken before suddenly registered to him.
A few days? Life threatening? A fever among other things. How long had he been there?
"Let's give him a break. He's not even really awake right now." Again that person's voice.
"No... I'm okay..." He responded hoarsely.
"Typical of you, Levi." Erwin said, a small smile on his lips as he brushed the older man's bangs from his face.
"If you're okay, do you think you'll be alright to see the kids?" Hanji asked.
"They're here...?" Levi wanted to sit up, but the pain in his chest was too great.
"None of us have left since you got here." Erwin explained.
"And Erwin's been here since he found you..." Nanaba stepped forward, and it was now that Levi realized that the voice in the room had been her the whole time.
He thought about it, thought about the night it happened, however long ago it had been. What had he been doing that night? He remembered walking, thinking about the trial. What had happened again? He remembered being outside, but where he wasn't sure. He remembered seeing Erwin with someone, maybe multiple people?
He couldn't remember much after that.
Had Erwin been the one to find him after being shot? After years on the force together, they'd seen each other in serious situations, but not once had it ever been "life threatening." What was going through his commander's mind when he found him so close to death? He couldn't even imagine.
"I'll be right back." Hanji excused herself before leaving the room.
"You gave us quite a scare, Levi." Nanaba spoke up. "Not once did I ever think I'd be hooking you up to life support..."
"I'm full of surprises..." He was surprised in himself how much energy and breath it took to speak a full sentence.
"And scares..." She quietly agreed. "The first bullet shot just a few centimeters from your aorta and heart. Your left upper lobe collapsed, but we managed to stabilize you."
"In English?" He asked.
"They shot twice, once through your arm and the other through your lung, but missed anything important. The bullet seared a tendon in your arm, which we did manage to piece back together. It's going to take a long time to heal though, and I can't promise your arm will be the same."
"Thank you..." Levi tilted his head back, eyes closing and breathing in a deep sigh. It hurt to do anything too strenuous, but he had to try. He had to try wrapping his mind around the idea of it too.
He almost died. Someone did a drive by shooting and nearly killed him, but who? Was it one of Grisha's goons? Or was it someone that saw him as a terrible person after sleeping with a victim, and sought out their own sense of justice?
He didn't know right now, and he wasn't necessarily sure he cared. He was alive, and that was more than enough to ease his mind.
Nanaba looked over his saline drip, noticing the bag was almost completely empty before speaking.
"I'm going to get another saline drip. His is running low." She said after checking over his IV. Levi looked at the bag in question, seeing it almost completely empty. Silently he questioned just how many of those he'd gone through already.
How long had he been here again?
He really couldn't focus. He heard everything and yet it was all jumbled, sitting together in places it shouldn't be. Who shot him again? Maybe they hadn't gone over that yet. Where did he get shot? Judging by the ache in his chest, somewhere around there.
His mind couldn't comprehend anything. He was just going to have to wait until everything was fully back up and running then, because he couldn't figure out anything in this condition.
"How long has it been?" And yet he still tried.
"Almost two weeks." Erwin responded as he sat down in a chair beside the bed.
"Ouch..." He wasn't sure if he was saying that from the number or from his sudden intake of breath.
"That's about it." Erwin sighed, his head falling into his hands.
"What did Hanji say? You never left... You should go home to your wife."
"Nanaba said that." The blonde man uttered worriedly.
"... Right." She had said that, hadn't she?
The older man lifted a hand cautiously, noticing the taping on the back of his arm leading to his drip. For the most part, it felt fine, so he allowed himself to rub at his eyes to clear them of the fog.
"Nanaba says you'll be staying here for two more weeks." Erwin told him.
"I'm a tough man. I'm sure I'll be out of here in half that time." Levi tried to smirk and laugh, but damn did his whole body ache.
"Levi, this isn't a laughing matter." Erwin reprimanded. The man turned his head to the side, staring at the blonde with confused and dazed eyes. "You were shot... You could have died."
"We've both been shot before, Erwin. What's so different now?"
"Because you almost die-" Erwin's words cut off when suddenly Mikasa appeared in the doorway. Disheveled and exhausted, she was followed quickly by Eren, who looked to be in much the same state. What with their tousled hair, the bags under their eyes, the discoloration of their skin, or the suddenness of dread hanging over their heads; had they been there this whole time?
"Levi..." Eren's voice trembled as he spoke his name, but Mikasa was the first to move. She was quickly by his bedside, carefully collapsing into his side and suddenly crying out her fears, her pain, her frustration, and her worries. It was unlike her to fall apart so easily, and yet here she was. Crying into Levi's shoulder with her arms wrapped around him as best as she could do without disrupting his body.
"No, no, Mikasa. Shh, it's alright." Levi lifted the only arm he could and touched her head, trying to console her, but he could barely pat her head, both from the position and his lack of energy. "I'm okay, Mikasa. It's alright..."
"No it's not...!" She cried into his shoulder. Levi could feel the dampness of her tears quickly soaking into his gown, drowning his neck in thick droplets that ran down his unmarred skin.
"Yes, it's alright..." He assured and did his best to kiss the side of her head. "Look at me, Mikasa..." He instructed.
There was a pause, like she thought about it and was too afraid to look. Levi lightly poked at the side of her head until she did, however, her face slowly coming into his view for him to see. Up close, he could really see the dark circles under her eyes, red and inflamed from constant rubbing and crying. Her skin and hair looked oily, like she hadn't taken a bath in days, and that was probably the case. After all, Hanji had said that they'd been here since he came in. Or was it Erwin who said that?
"See...? I'm fine..." He assured and rubbed her cheek.
"You almost died..." Her voice shook, scratchy and uneven as she spoke in mortification.
"Almost. Come on, Mikasa. It takes more than this to kill me. I'm an Ackerman, remember?"
There was the faintest hint of a smile on her slightly chapped lips, a sigh of relief leaving her as she pushed her head back to his shoulder. There wasn't as much pain on that side, but she still took great caution not to hurt him.
Grey eyes looked towards the other teens as he rubbed his numb hand against her head, eyes beckoning them both to come over. He wouldn't ask much from Armin after what happened, but Eren seemed frozen. Indecisive. Skeptical.
He looked like he couldn't come towards him, like Levi was a fragile doll, and simply being near him would break him.
He looked too afraid to come near either of them, and yet he looked like he so desperately wanted to come near. To hug him. To verify that yes, he was alive. Whoever it was had tried, and they'd failed. He was still kicking, and the brunette looked like he needed to make sure that was true. Yet he wouldn't move.
"Eren..." He mumbled and lifted his arm, waving towards him. "Come here..."
Armin's blue eyes looked towards him, noticing how Eren stalled. He seemed frozen where he stood, and yet the blonde pushed a hand into his back and moved him forward.
The teen staggered before he finally seemed capable of moving towards the bed. He stood on the opposite side, next to Erwin still sitting in his chair, hands trembling. He seemed like he wanted to hold his hand, but he feared hurting him. He didn't want to put pressure on his wounds or anywhere else that could hurt him.
"Hey..." Levi uttered in a disparaging tone before searching out for his hand. There wasn't much he could do with his busted and bandaged arm, but he got the point across.
Shivering and cold fingers slowly laced into his, feeling the warm and soft skin hardened by the harsh world hold onto him weakly. Levi couldn't feel much in that arm right now, but just the lightest of touches. He couldn't tell if Eren was continuing to hesitate or if his injuries had done more damage than he assumed, but it was a start. He wouldn't force Eren into doing something he wasn't comfortable with.
"That's better..." His eyes felt heavy again, like he couldn't keep them open. Maybe he was still under the influence of medication, because he felt sleep clinging to his senses.
"Is he okay...?" Armin's voice was distant, but there with a hint of concern.
"Just tired. He's been through a lot." Hanji was back again, comforting their worries.
"We should let him rest. Now that we know he's okay, we should all go home and get a well-deserved night of sleep." Erwin told them and stood up.
"I'm not leaving him." Eren rebutted, his hand squeezing around the older man's.
"Neither am I." Mikasa agreed and made herself more comfortable on the bed by her uncle.
"Y-You guys..." Armin spoke up, but quickly quieted down. There was no use trying to sway his family's mind. Once they had something set, there was no going against it.
"Hey..." Levi uttered, eyes blinking away the fog to stay awake a moment longer. "I'll be okay... You should go home and sleep."
"No," Mikasa disagreed.
"We aren't leaving you." Eren added.
"Yeah you are, but it's okay..." Levi took in a deep breath, wincing at the pain. "You can come back and see me, okay? I'm not going anywhere."
"Levi..." Mikasa's black eyes burned with tears threatening to fall once more. Her uncle smiled weakly, his hand rubbing her arm gently.
"B-But, Captain..." The brunette wanted to speak, but he too seemed choked up. He wouldn't go far like this, not in his current state of mind.
"Please go home. Go watch some mind numbing TV and eat a good meal. Please? For me?" Levi pleaded with them. He was the only one they'd listen to at this point.
The two of them looked at one another, as if silently deciding what would happen from here. Would they stay or would they go? They really didn't want to go and leave him by himself. Sure, he was safe, and sure, he was alive, but they never knew what could happen. God forbid someone tried to come after him again. What would they do if they really lost him?
Even if he was fine, they were still afraid. They didn't want to leave him, even if they knew he was okay here. He wanted them to go though, to rest at home and sleep peacefully in a bed knowing he was okay instead of an uncomfortable chair not knowing his condition. That wasn't how they should have been spending their time. It was too much for their fragile minds.
They must have known, and yet they wanted to fight it. They didn't want to leave.
"Come on, you guys..." Hanji called out to them, holding out her hand for one of them to take up. "I'll bring you back first thing in the morning, after a good night's sleep and some food. Does that sound okay?"
It was Mikasa who was the first to break. She didn't want to, but her uncle insisted. He wanted her to sleep in her own bed and take care of herself, not worry over him.
He was going to be fine. She just had to keep repeating that to herself as she finally sat up from the bed.
"First thing in the morning...?" She confirmed, her eyes narrowing at the woman with her hand held out.
"First thing in the morning." She assured her.
"I-I don't want to..." Eren argued, taking a few steps back.
"Eren, it'll be okay." Levi assured him and squeezed his hand. "I promise. You know I don't make promises unless I'm sure of the outcome, right? So I'm promising you that it's okay, and that I'll be okay."
Eren squeezed his hand back, skeptical, seemingly ready to break down on him. He knew that Levi spoke the truth though. Levi was a man of his word. He didn't back down on promises he made, so why would this be any different?
"A-Alright..." He agreed, albeit reluctantly and with a stutter. "But tomorrow for sure."
"Absolutely." Hanji told him and smiled as Eren's hand finally left the older man's. He took a few steps back, as if testing the waters, giving him a chance to possibly change his mind and stay, but it didn't come to that.
The teen slowly turned around to be with his family, swallowing a painful lump in his throat, feeling like he could gag at the pain he was feeling. He felt ready to vomit, weary that, with how weak his stomach was right now, it was a huge possibility.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Levi called out to them and waved a pale hand.
"Sleep well, Levi." Hanji bid a farewell, beginning to walk forward to make the teen's follow.
"See you tomorrow," Armin waved his hand timidly, eyes to the ground, but from embarrassment or annoyance was still yet to be determined.
"Good night," Mikasa followed after them.
"Bye, C-Captain..." The brunette's legs felt like led, but they still carried him forcefully out of the room. Nanaba walked in not a moment later with a new bag of saline, eyeing the teens curiously as they left. For the most part, though, she stayed quiet.
"I guess it must be my turn to leave..." Erwin finally spoke and stood, back popping from his prolonged position. Levi blinked wearily, sleep starting to settle over him. He was barely aware of the hand against his for just a moment, a soft tug against his fingers, before the blonde left with a wave and nothing more. He didn't want to keep him awake for too long.
The officer barely made out his goodbye to Nanaba, warning her that Levi was slowly falling asleep. She assured him she'd be quiet before he took his leave, allowing the two of them to be left alone. Not for long, however. She left after switching out the bags, leaving the room utterly silent, minus the annoying beep of his heart monitor.
Levi closed his eyes, mind clear of anything and everything. The trial, the news, his impending lack of job and financial insecurity. It all meant nothing to him in his drug induced state. He could have fallen asleep like that had he not squeezed his hand, feeling something and hearing a crumple between his fingertips. Just barely conscious, he used his good hand to pull whatever it was out from between his numb fingers, unfolding a small piece of paper that had been in his hand.
When had that gotten there? How long has it been there? It couldn't have been long. He was able to hold Eren's hand, and it hadn't been there as far as he knew. Eren would have said something, granted he hadn't put it there, but nothing had been in his hand either. Unless his mind was muddled once more.
Erwin had touched his hand, hadn't he? It had seemed like an odd thing for himself to do, considering the man wasn't a touchy type of person.
He was still too tired to make up his mind about it. All he could do was open up the piece of paper and look at it, finding numbers written down in sequence. It was written down like a phone number; no. It was a phone number. Someone's phone number, but he didn't know whose until he unfolded the last part.
He didn't need to be clear headed to make heads or tails of the name written down. Even dazed by drugs he read the name as clear as day.
Farlan Church.
A/N: Whoop. Der it is.
