A/N: Wow. Almost 300 reviews. I've never hit that much before. Simply awesome. Thanks so much for all the feedback guys!
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CHAPTER 52
Longevity
"You know, Ratchet, I've noticed something."
Ratchet glanced over at his young apprentice silently, wondering what he could have noticed. They had only been at his training for a little over a week, and Jeff's learning had only made a small amount of progress. Yet the sight of concern on Jeff's face did cause Ratchet to become worried. "What might that be?" Ratchet questioned as he approached the young human "Nothing wrong with those scans we made of that drone, is there?" He asked.
"The drone's have a longer lifespan than I do." Jeff muttered, Ratchet raised an optic ridge "I just... It got me wondering." He turned his head slowly "You guys live ten times as long, right?" He questioned, Ratchet nodded slowly "Well... Y'know..." He paused a bit "It just got me thinking I'm not even going to be around for most of your guys's lives." He explained "Doesn't that, y'know, worry you and dad?" He questioned.
Ratchet could feel his spark sink a little bit at the notion. No doubt, Jeff was right, he would be gone, and his descendants roaming the Earth before either he or Prowl would likely offline, should the war not claim their lives. He didn't like to think that one day, he might be burying the human in front of him right now, but chances were it was a very sad reality he would one day have to face. "Sometimes, I do not like to linger upon such notions however." He noted, straightening a bit "Dwelling on any form of death is a depressing subject."
Jeff nodded his head a little bit, standing to his feet from the small desk they'd set up in the med bay. His eyes inched towards Ratchet, a tiny frown on his face, he took a deep breath. "I wish dad could create a kid of his own. That's gotta sting him like hell." Jeff noted, shaking his head a little "I didn't even think about how little time we're gonna really have together." He added "Well, I guess in my case it'll feel like a long time." He admitted.
"Eighty to ninety years, if you continue to be in such good health." Ratchet estimated "If I could extend your longevity, I would. But the only way to do so would be to make you one of us." He then chuckled "And while it's a fun thought, your father would murder me. Not to mention the fact it would not likely end well. Unless you're okay with no longer having your memories and reliving infancy." He noted.
A part of Jeff was intrigued by the idea of starting fresh and over. But the logical side of him shook his head, he had bad memories, yes, but giving up his memories would erase all the happy ones he had collected as well. "Yeah, I think I'll stay human if it's all the same to you." Jeff finally admitted as politely as he could "For every bad memory I have, there's a hundred good ones." He tapped the side of his head "I don't want to give my bio parents up, that wouldn't be good." He added.
Ratchet nodded in understanding though a part of him wished Jeff would have agreed to it. But he understood in full why Jeff would never agree to have himself merged with a sparkling shell. "Fair enough, youngling." Ratchet nodded his head a bit "I would give anything to remember my own creator's faces." He vented out a bit "The offer will always be on the table, should you change your mind." He noted.
Jeff only nodded a little bit, knowing that the answer would always be "no". Though he was aware of the fact that it meant less time to be under the care of the Autobots, he knew that a rebirth was not the way to answer his problems. "Hey Ratch?" Ratchet turned his head a little bit "Just because I'm saying no? Doesn't mean I don't get why you're offering it." He then added "But, thanks for trying anyway." He then added "Speaking of sparklings, how's 'Cee's coming along?" He questioned.
"Well." Ratchet replied "It's a healthy young mech from what I can see."
"You can tell this early?"
Ratchet nodded his head slowly, standing to his feet, he clicked a few buttons on his large monitor. Slowly an image of a small blue spark appeared on the screen, appearing to be a soft blue-ish green. "This is how you can tell. When the spark of a mech is young, this is its color." He then added "A femme's spark would be a light yellow." He then added "This is how you'll be able to tell on the early onset which is being had." He noted.
"Can I help to deliver?" Jeff questioned.
Ratchet had to think about that, frowning a little bit. "I'd have to see how far along your training has gotten. I would not want you to be hurt or anything." He noted, clicking the image off "But we have about an Earth year before she's ready to deliver, so it is a possibility." He admitted, turning to look at the boy again "Now, your break's over." Ratchet finally spoke up "Time for you to get back to training." He then added, turning to a drone "You still need to work on helping me rebuild his mid-section."
Jeff smiled a bit, without argument, quickly making his way over.
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Jeff hadn't even realized how loud he'd screamed as he shot up in bed until Prowl had kicked in his door. To say the least, it was a comforting sight after the nightmare he'd just gone through. His body trembled as he hugged his bare chest slowly, catching his breath as best he could. "Jeff?" The boy stared up as the mech crouched to him "Are you alright, son? The sensors indicated no irregularities." He noted "What's wrong?" He questioned.
"Nightmare." Jeff managed to breathe out.
Prowl carefully reached a finger out, his smooth and cool metal stroking Jeff's cheek. Jeff's heart rate had sped up much faster than it should have been, and Prowl could easily tell whatever the nightmare had been had terrified him. "It's alright, Jeff, I'm right here." Prowl stated calmly "Please, do not be afraid, steady yourself..." He then noted "What happened, son?" He questioned.
Jeff shook his head, gently clenching the sheets a bit, he stared up at Prowl. Though the mech had known he was in the Battle of Chicago, he supposed the mech had never thought of the trauma he'd endured. Friends gunned down right in front of him, destruction everywhere, he carefully pulled his sheets up. "Chicago." Jeff breathed out "I just... I..." He took a few deep breaths "I don't know what brought that on."
"Your talk with Ratchet about longevity." Prowl guessed "Your fear of death brought about the horrid memories of it." He then added "You need to put those thoughts aside, Jeff. You have much life left to live." He explained "Though I do understand your worries, it is not anything you need to worry about in actuality." He noted.
Jeff nodded his head, knowing that Prowl made a good point. "Maybe I should have taken Ratchet's offer." Jeff muttered, he looked up at Prowl "This is the fifth time this month I've had a flashback. I wouldn't have any of that." He then looked at Prowl "I wouldn't be-" He began.
"You wouldn't be you." Prowl noted "By allowing yourself to be raised under different circumstances. You give up a whole part of yourself you'll never get back." He frowned, his optic ridge furrowing "The boy that I fell in love with would be gone and I do not want that." He noted, pointing at Jeff "You only want to do this yourself as you fear upsetting Ratchet and I, don't you?" He asked.
Jeff nodded his head, knowing that Prowl was right about that. He had experienced loss too much in his life not to want to save them from having to suffer that big a loss. Yet by the look in his optics, he could tell that either way Prowl would suffer a loss that he didn't want to. "So you really don't care that even if you do adopt me." He wrapped his arms around his legs slowly "You don't care that I'm not always going to be around?" He asked.
"It saddens me." Prowl replied "But I simply want to relish in the time we have, rather than think about it." He noted, as Jeff nodded his head a little "Besides, you're only sixteen, that leaves plenty of time to spend with you." He then added "And your children, and their children..." Jeff smiled a bit at that notion "Though you may someday leave me, you'll always be right here with me." He noted "As will the family you will no doubt leave behind." He explained.
"I guess I never thought of it that way." Jeff smiled "Thanks dad." He added.
"Any time."
He felt Prowl gently pull the blankets over him, the mech smiling a bit at him. Though Jeff had never thought of it that way, Prowl was right. Jeff had a good feeling that he really was worrying over nothing. Gently, Prowl stroked his back a bit. "You really think that I'm that special?" Jeff questioned "You know, special enough that starting over wouldn't be the right thing?" He questioned.
"Starting over would be a waste of one of the greatest humans I know." He noted "I love you, son. Sweet dreams."
As Prowl made his way to the door, Jeff smiled to himself, allowing his eyelids to slowly close again. To say the least, he felt much better than he had about the subject before. And with any luck, everything Prowl said would end up being true.
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A/N: I felt this was a topic that needed to be explored. Seeing as it's an obvious fear in these situations. Reviews make my day!
