Fifty.
Olivia had seen relief on Amanda Rollins' face multiple times, but never before had she seen tension so conspicuously leave her body than when Olivia, Ed, and the kids showed up fashionably late at Jesse's delayed birthday party. The room was filled with guests, most of whom Olivia didn't recognize, and she noticed the small gathering had decidedly taken on a broader scope.
"Lieutenant," Amanda greeted her breathlessly, "So glad to see you." She smiled sweetly at Wyatt and Maggie and crouched down to say hello to Noah who was already looking past her at a man making animals out of balloons.
"Go ahead on over there," Rollins said, "He'll make you anything you want."
"Stegassrus?"
Rollins clenched her teeth, "Well, maybe not that, but go ask."
Noah trotted off. Ed found a nearby table and took Wyatt out of his car seat, leaving his snow suit and hat in the carrier. He handed the baby to Olivia and repeated the routine with Maggie.
"Look at him!" Rollins gushed, "Look at those cheeks!"
Wyatt buried his face in Olivia's neck. "Awww," Olivia cooed, "Are you being shy, baby boy?" She kissed his head, "He'll warm up. There are, wow, how many people are here?"
"Declan invited some friends and family. I didn't realize it was dozens of friends and family. Throw my mom and sister in the mix, and I'm exhausted…and it's not even close to being over."
Olivia shifted Wyatt to her other hip, "So does this mean he's done with the UC ops?"
"Apparently," Rollins replied, "He's batting around his options now."
Noah ran back over to his parents with a balloon crown on his head, beaming proudly. "Lookit! He make me a HAT!"
"It's a crown bud," Ed held Maggie under his arm and took out his phone to snap a photo. "Reminds me of his birthday a couple years ago," he said to Olivia.
Olivia recalled that particular party with a smile and also with amazement at how much her life had changed since then.
"Mommy! Can I do that?" Noah pointed to the face painting booth.
"Of course."
"Declan also rented a photo booth," Rollins reported dryly, "He went…a little overboard."
"Making up for lost time I imagine," Olivia surmised. "Where is he? I didn't get a chance to talk to him for very long on New Years' Day."
On cue, Lieutenant Declan Murphy made his way over to Rollins and the Tuckers. Other than his beard being more closely cropped, he looked exactly the same—burly, slight paunch at the middle, and a sagely expression on his face.
"Olivia," He took the hand that was not cradling Wyatt, "So good to see you again." He next turned to Tucker and warmly shook his hand. "These babies are gorgeous. Mind if I take him for a few minutes? We didn't get very well acquainted on New Year's."
"A lot of competition," Ed remarked.
"With grandmothers there it's almost impossible to share," Declan said, "Case in point, my mother and Beth Anne have practically had a tug-of-war with Jesse since my mother arrived."
Olivia was surprised to hear Declan talk about his mother. She assumed his family was distant, either deceased or long ago estranged due to the strain of undercover operations. Declan expertly bounced Wyatt and spoke to him in an exaggerated Irish brogue. Wyatt curiously cocked his head, listened, and his little hands patted Murphy's whiskers—a texture unfamiliar to the eight-month-old. Despite spending the past decade more or less ensnared in the dark underworld of narcotics and sex trafficking, Declan was a natural with children.
"Wow, Olivia, I can't believe how much your life has changed since I was last here," Declan said, using a moment alone to switch to more serious topics. Noah had dragged Ed and Maggie to a corner of the room where another artist was painting caricatures, and Rollins was mingling with the guests.
"It certainly has."
"You have a beautiful family. I'm happy for you. You deserve it."
"Thanks," Olivia replied. Wyatt was getting fussy, wanting to be put down, and she jiggled a toy in front of him, "And…what are the next steps for you?"
"Professionally or personally?"
"Both, I suppose."
"They're not mutually exclusive," Declan said. "If I want a personal life, if I want to be a father, the best option right now is a position in white collar crimes, with the feds."
"But…"
He smiled wryly, "But I have to get used to that version of myself."
"I get it."
"But Tucker's a good example…it can be done. Reinvention is not out of the realm of possibility."
"No, it's not," Olivia agreed, "But, sometimes, I think he misses it." She hadn't expressed this sentiment to anyone, but there was a certain trust she had in Declan Murphy that allowed her to be candid. "When we were…early on…I kept waiting for him to walk away because of the pressures of raising Noah. Now I'm almost waiting for him to wake up one day and announce it's time to hire a full time nanny because he's going back to work."
Declan lowered his voice, "Or ask you to lay down the shield?"
"The last time he mentioned that…let's just say the conversation did not turn out well," Olivia recalled the memory, even now, years later, with a shudder, "He's doing this so I can have it all…and he's working a little, he says just enough, but—"
"You have a good man, Olivia. I'd take what he says as pure honesty."
Olivia caught sight of Ed talking to Noah, probably instructing him to hold still while the artist drew his distorted portrait. He had a pink blanket slung over his shoulder and held Maggie effortlessly, facing outward so she could see the action. Perhaps sensing her eyes on him, Ed turned slightly, offered a cocky nod, and focused his attention back on Noah. Olivia couldn't help but smile at the contentedness their indestructible connection brought to her. Truer words had never been spoken, Ed Tucker was a good man. An honest man. The best man she'd ever met.
And he was hers.
….
Temperatures dipped into the the subzero range and menacing winds swirled on the morning of Brooke and Sonny's party. Ed woke up early with a feeling of foreboding, and checked to make sure the heat was working and all three of his kids were snugly cocooned in their blankets. He poked his head into Noah's room, and, finding him sufficiently covered, made his way into the twins' room. His breath caught in his throat as he watched them sleep. Wyatt was partially on his side with his fists balled against his chin. Wisps of brown hair fell across his forehead and, even in slumber and the moonlight, the rosy hue on his plump cheeks was evident. Maggie slept on her back, arms and legs splayed out as if she wanted to prove she had the right to take up all the space in her crib. Her lips were pursed and fluttered ever so slightly; Ed smiled and predicted she would eventually be notorious for talking in her sleep. She was the only Tucker child to have kicked off her blanket, and he gently pulled the pink comforter up near her chin.
When he returned to the master bedroom, Olivia mumbled, "Where were you?"
"Checkin on the kids."
"Ed," she replied, more clearly this time, "The heat works, sweetie."
"I know but it's record breaking freezing out there." He jumped back under the covers and spooned her. "Mmmmm. This is nice." He felt her breathing get heavier. "You goin' back to sleep?"
Olivia heard the disappointment in his voice. She reached out and pressed the home button on her phone. "No."
They kissed for a while, maybe thirty minutes, maybe an hour, neither he nor she was keeping track of time. It was so nice to hold each other, arms and legs entangled, mouths moving perfectly moved in tandem, familiar yet exciting, pausing every once in a while to smile and whisper sincere compliments, pleasant reflections, optimistic predictions, until finally Olivia began tugging at his waistband.
The sun was rising and Ed groaned, both from the contact and from the awareness that Noah would be up and pounding at their door soon, and Ed wasn't positive it was locked. But he didn't stop her as she became more insistent, more determined to rid him of his clothes and he reciprocated, feeling pressured to rush but not wanting to rush…the thrill of beating the clock.
Her fingers were digging into his skin now at his hips, she always did this when she was ready for him and often she was ready before he was because he loved exploring every inch of her just as much as he loved coaxing her into an almost violent orgasm. He slithered down her body, wanting to taste her, he rasped his intentions and she moaned and gripped his head, anticipating the effects from what he was about to do. He was on point, proud of himself, precise, and her cries were beautiful, and he kept going.
They were a mess—naked, clothes tangled in the sheets, bodily fluids smeared on almost every inch of skin, and when Ed finally finished inside of her he didn't simply collapse at her side, he covered her mouth with his and kissed her deeply like it was the prelude to sex rather than its epilogue.
"Guess we haveta maybe think about a shower," He mumbled.
Olivia rolled over, "C'mon. Let's hurry so we can go together."
They showered quickly and put on sweats. The baby monitor showed the twins in the beginning stages of waking up. Otherwise, their home was quiet.
Ed put his arms around Olivia's waist and kissed at her neck as he walked them into the living room. Olivia saw Noah first and gripped Ed's hands.
"Look."
In the beanbag he sat, facing Manhattan, iPad in hand and juice box at his side.
"Hey, bud," Ed said softly, "G'mornin."
"Morning!" He said cheerfully.
"Whatcha doin?"
"Jus' drawin."
"Want some breakfast?" Olivia asked.
"Wanna go to the rest'raunt for scrambly eggs in the taco!"
He meant a breakfast burrito, and it was a good time to ask. Despite the frigid temperatures, the parents agreed. "We owe him," Ed whispered. "We'll take the car, I'll get the heat goin' so the twins won't be out in the cold too long."
"Okay," Olivia replied, bending down to kiss Noah's head, "As soon as Maggie and Wyatt wake up we'll give them their bottles and go," she promised.
"Kay. I telled 'em to keep sleepin!"
"You did?"
"Yep!" He replied and then, with all the exasperation a newly minted five-year-old could muster sighed, "Those babies wake up too early!"
…
Being inside the room where they exchanged marriage vows caused a wave of sentimentality to wash over Olivia. She stopped in her tracks as the five of them arrived and asked Noah if he remembered this place. He confirmed he did, and he even recalled little details such as his shiny shoes and the matching blue ties he and Ed wore. The space was more crowded this time. Sonny had a seemingly endless list of friends and family, and once Brooke started writing invitations, she realized her guest list was longer than she originally predicted. Children were allowed, and Noah's presence was guaranteed. Ed and Olivia decided at the last minute to bring Maggie and Wyatt, mostly due to the fact that they lacked child care. However, Caroline and a few of the Tucker cousins would be in attendance. Grandma obviously welcomed any chance to see the babies, and the cousins had never met them. A few had not yet been introduced to Noah.
With relatives keeping tabs on the little ones, Ed and Olivia spent much of the early evening on the dance floor. No matter what song was playing, Ed alternated between twirling his wife and holding her close, swaying ever so slightly. They whispered into one another's ears, grinned, smirked, teased, flirted, and even though the interruption was completely warranted, they were both slightly disappointed when one of the cousins approached with a whimpering Wyatt. Both twins needed to be fed.
Even without high chairs, they were adept and spooning baby food into the waiting mouths of Maggie and Wyatt. Each held a twin and simultaneously fed the other, a perfected system, especially since both Maggie and Wyatt were, by now, expert eaters. They were both gumming a teething biscuit when it occurred to Ed that he hadn't danced with either one of his daughters. When a ballad played, she took both twins into her lap. Ed danced with Brooke and then Sarah. He was making his way back to Olivia when he saw Hillary sitting at a table, alone, not exactly forlorn, but lonely enough to entice Ed to ask her to dance. He eyed Olivia on his way over to her, silently communicating what he had in mind, and she merely smiled in agreement, glad he was branching out and testing unfamiliar waters.
On the other side of the room Brooke and Sarah ordered fresh drinks from the bar. Sarah was talking about her intention to dance with Sonny when they both noticed Ed and Hillary among the others on the dance floor.
"Omigod," Sarah blurted under her breath, "Dad's dancing with Hill!"
"So what?"
"He…he doesn't dance with anyone."
"He just danced with us," Brooke dryly pointed out.
"I mean…do you think Livvie made him?"
Brooke caught sight of Olivia, now sitting placidly, observing, with two sleeping twins in her arms. "I don't know…I wouldn't think so. She doesn't exactly make him do anything."
"It's so funny…"
Annoyed at her sister's inability to maintain a consistent line of conversation, Brooke muttered, "What is?"
"Look at Daddy."
Brooke observed her father. Ed was dancing with Hillary in the most formal posture imaginable—one hand in hers, the other across her upper back, several inches between them, but he didn't appear uncomfortable, merely polite, it was a dance of two people who weren't strangers yet were also not quite friends. For the first part of the song, they avoided eye contact, but Ed said something that made Hillary laugh. After that, they chatted through the rest of the tune.
"Uh-oh," Brooke teased, "Dad might be stealing your date." She was joking. Obviously. But instead of returning the banter, Sarah fell silent and stared ahead blankly. Brooke nudged her. "Sare?"
She snapped to attention. "Huh?"
"Are you alive?"
"Yeah, yeah, just thought about something."
Brooke peered at her suspiciously. "About what?"
"Something at work," Sarah retorted.
Initially, Brooke hadn't thought twice about Sarah bringing Hillary to the party, particularly since she'd taken her to other family functions. But little details were adding up—Sarah's subtle nudges and arm grabs, usage of the second person plural, giggles and inside jokes, and, most glaringly, the possessive way Sarah sometimes spoke of Hillary.
"Hey, ladies, would you mind taking a twin for a few minutes?" Olivia came up beside them, "I have to take Noah to the restroom."
"Sure, Livvie!" Sarah's mood changed instantaneously. "Gimme Wyatt, I want to dance with him."
Olivia handed over the infants and warned, "Be careful, they just ate."
Sarah swung Wyatt around anyway, "Come on, baby brother, you're gonna dance with your sissy and not puke on her."
Brooke and Sonny hadn't quite known what to expect from the party. Brooke surmised that it would be low-key and anticlimactic, maybe even a little bit boring. She did not foresee guests drinking and dancing until the late evening, but that's exactly what happened.
Angela, her husband, and the girls' half-brother stayed only long enough to have a drink and a few words with the bride and groom. There was no intermingling between Ed and his ex-wife, but Olivia caught her sneaking glances at them from across the room, probably more so to scope out the twins than anything else.
Maggie and Wyatt continued their rotation from table to table, breaking the cycle only to be delivered to their parents for a diaper change or for a bottle. Noah played with Carisi children, and he vehemently protested when Ed announced it was time to say goodbye.
"Wanna stay here with my friends!"
Ed grinned, "Well, bud, let's get their numbers and you can see 'em again sometime. Remember, Sonny's your brother-in-law now."
As usual, Noah was easily assuaged. He took Ed's hand and led him over to the table where the kids' parents were seated, and Ed programmed their information into his phone.
"Okay, bud, let's go get our coats."
"I know where dey are!" Noah scampered down an adjacent corridor, past the restrooms, and into the coat check room where a bored-looking attendant was watching a show on a small flat screen television.
"How'd you know this was here?" Ed asked.
"Cause our hiding spot is over THERE!" Noah pointed across the way to another, shorter hallway that appeared to lead to a service entrance. There were several recesses in the walls where, perhaps, phone booths once hung. To a preschooler, it was the ultimate surreptitious lair. Ed handed the ticket to the attendant and watched Noah as he meandered down the hall narrating. "Dom'nic hided here, and Allie was here, and…Hi SARE BEAR!"
Ed jerked his head in the direction of his son's voice. From the farthest recess, Hillary and Sarah emerged. Sarah was giggling sheepishly. Hillary reddened and stared at the floor.
"Hi Noey! You found us!" Sarah, unaware of Ed's presence, expertly downplayed the embarrassing encounter.
Noah twisted his lips, slowly realizing his discovery was not something that was supposed to happen. "You hide here, too?" He asked.
"It's a great spot!"
Noah looked in Ed's direction. "Oh, Daddy have the coats."
"Daddy?" Sarah slowly lifted her eyes and saw Ed making his way to them with their outerwear draped over one arm.
Hillary drifted backwards, wishing she could escape through the heavy double doors even though she had no idea where they led. Anything was better than this. Noah they could fool. Ed Tucker? No way.
"Daddy, you're leaving already?"
"Need to get the kids home and in bed."
"I stay up late now!" Noah interjected.
"You do?" Sarah asked. "How late?"
"Ten a'clock!"
"Eight-thirty," Ed corrected. "Well, you two enjoy the rest of the evening. C'mon, No. Let's go get Mommy and the twins."
"Kay! Bye Sare Bear! Bye Hill'ry!"
Sarah responded with her bubbly "Bye Noey Boey!" Hillary remained practically cowered in the corner, speechless, wondering how and if she was ever going to face Captain Tucker again.
…
Ed mentioned nothing to Olivia while they prepared to leave. He said nothing on the ride home. They decided to postpone bath time until the morning, and he went through the bedtime routines without arousing any suspicion from his wife. He blew strawberries on the twins' bare tummies before snapping them into their pajamas. Noah joined them for two stories, one for Maggie and one for Wyatt. Goodnight kisses followed. Mobiles turned on.
I love you big guy.
Love you sweet girl.
Night, night babies!
Olivia left the door slightly ajar. Noah asked Ed to help him reconstruct a piece of train track, and they spent the rest of the evening running the cars along the new, windy route. Ed's thoughts occasionally drifted to Sarah, but mostly he concentrated on following Noah's very specific instructions. Knowing it was getting late, Ed checked the time. Nine o'clock.
"Uh-oh, bud," Ed said, "Past your bedtime. Pick out your books and we'll read in the big chair with Mommy."
"Kay," Noah said, his eyes still on the train table, "I leave this red one right here. Don't touch it. It gonna sleep there."
"Yessir."
Noah laughed, "I'm not sir! You sir!"
"Oh yeah?" Ed tackled Noah and started tickling him. He was sure Olivia would end up in the room to see what all the commotion was about, but, as it turned out, she had fallen asleep on the couch.
Noah was in full sprint, books in hand, but he slowed and approached her stealthily when he saw her eyes closed. He placed the books carefully on the coffee table, leaned over her face, and lightly kissed her cheek.
"Night night, Mommy," he whispered. She was partially covered with a throw blanket and Noah tucked the edges around her body. He collected his books and tiptoed back to Ed who had been observing from the kitchen island. "Mommy's asleep," Noah reported, "We go read in my room."
"Following you, pal."
"Daddy, you can put Mommy to bed after we read."
Ed grinned, "Will do."
…
#Tuckson
