Alice and I had the house to ourselves the following night. Edward, Emmett and Rosalie had gone hunting, and Carlisle and Esme had gone out on a date.
I pondered the idea of two vampires going out dating as I watched Alice work on her homework. They couldn't exactly go out for a nice dinner or anything. They might try a movie. Or go dancing somewhere. I didn't know. The idea struck me as ludicrous, but it also confused me.
Of course, the whole concept of marriage confused me to no end. We were vampires, not humans. I knew Maria had had many lovers among those in my old coven, but that she felt nothing for them. I remembered Peter and Charlotte, who were mated. They loved each other, and would spend the rest of their existences together.
Carlisle and Esme had a bond just as strong. They were happily mated. So were Emmett and Rosalie. So why did they feel the need to indulge in such a human ceremony? Perhaps to keep up appearances.
But that didn't explain why Rosalie and Emmett had had more weddings than Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle and his wife had been together, and alive, longer than the others. Which meant they didn't remarry every time they moved.
Most of their identification papers, I knew, were forged. Which meant that they could simply have papers drawn up saying they were married, just like they had papers drawn up concerning the adoptions of their 'children.'
So why bother? Maybe it still meant something to them. I personally couldn't remember much about my life as a human. I tried to recall how I had felt about marriage.
It had been expected at the time, I recalled. You certainly didn't just live with someone. You fell in love, you got married. Or you grew up, got married and had a family. Love wasn't always involved.
But again, that was a human thing. We were vampires.
But then, most of the Cullens' actions were focused on appearing human, even when there were no humans to convince. They seemed to strive as hard as they could to be human.
Or at least, not to be the vampires they were.
Perhaps that was the key. Perhaps their insistence upon behaving like humans was to hold on to their humanity. To prove they weren't monsters. Wasn't that why they fed the way they did?
Wasn't that why I attempted their lifestyle? Because I didn't want to be a monster?
But that didn't answer the question of marriage.
Alice finished her homework, and put it away. She smiled and came to sit on the bed with me. "Thinking?" She asked sweetly. I shrugged and wrapped my arm around her waist.
She said nothing else, and eventually my mind wandered back to the question.
Was it because of the expectations of society when they were alive? Maybe they married because when they lived, that was the thing to do.
Of course, Peter and Charlotte had lived in times like that. And they found the idea of marriage odd. And what about me? You didn't just live with someone when I had been alive, yet with Alice and myself-
The idea had never occurred to me. Yet I had no doubts that I loved Alice, that she loved me, that I wanted to stay with her forever. I needed no wedding ceremony or ring for that.
I found myself smiling at the thought of placing a ring on her finger. Of her being mine in every way. Of that symbol, on her hand, of the love we had for each other.
Perhaps that was why they had married. Perhaps marriage was a symbol of their love for each other. A way of telling the rest of the world that they loved each other. It was an idea I could understand.
Alice sighed happily, and moved closer. I chuckled, and she looked up to see what I was laughing at. I stared into her eyes, awed once again by her beauty. This perfect creature loved me. Wanted to be with me. Had sought me out.
Seized by impulse, I leaned forward, and her lips met mine. She gasped softly, surprised, then responded to my kiss. I drew her into my lap as our kiss continued, and she wrapped her arms around my neck as our kiss became more intense. She turned around as I leaned back, and I was lying on the bed, with her on top of me.
Neither of us needed to breathe, and for a time we forgot all else as I kissed her, again and again and again, each kiss full of our love and passion. I wrapped my arms around her waist and marveled at the fact that she wanted me.
Right here, right now, everything was perfect. It didn't matter that I could barely control myself around humans, it didn't matter what I had been, what I had done. It didn't matter that I was covered in the scars from over a hundred battles with my own kind. It didn't matter that I had been a murderer or both vampires and humans.
Right now, I had her. I loved her. I held her in my arms, and she was happy there.
I never wanted to let her go.
Disclamer: Twilight blah, blah, blah, does not belong to me blah, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, so on and so forth. You get the picture.
