HELLO ALL. WELL, ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END AND SO DOES KATZE'S ADVENTURES. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER COMPILING OF SEVERAL SMALL ONES THAT I CHOSE TO UPLOAD AT ONCE. I HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THE STORY AND PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO LEAVE ME SOME COMMENTS. I HAVE CHANGED GENRE OVER TO FF7 AND I HAVE NO IMMEDIATE PLANS TO CONTINUE ON WITH AnK BUT WE'LL NEVER KNOW IN THE FUTURE. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL... HAKUCHO
From me to you Katze: 4694-091
My dearest Katze, since you are heavily sedated and undergoing extreme medical treatment, I thought I would fill you in with those days that have passed by outside your consciousness. Please forgive me for taking the freedom to write on your laptop, or shall I say on Artemisia, but if you want to know how you ended up where you are, I feel I must reveal all the facts to you.
I have begun this letter to you several times already, never quite knowing how to start it or how to continue. I found myself at your home a few weeks ago when my lovely Agatha called me and brought the terrifying news of you being seriously injured and undergoing surgery to save your life. I drove like a madman to the hospital and spent the night outside the surgery room, comforted by her sweet embrace once again as a lead investigator from the police force, called Carr Novat Andersen informed me of the events that had taken place. Numerous officers shared your fate, some even worse for the flat-line of their ceased heartbeat was penetrating though the walls and into the waiting room. It was a terrible showdown, Katze. It cost lives… almost yours.
Before I go into those details I will continue my thoughts. I came to your apartment the day after your surgery to collect some matters for Personnel, and the longer I remained there I slowly became engulfed in memories of you and I. You are everywhere Katze, I cannot escape you! Your scent permeates your couch, your clothing and very much, your bed. I remember vividly the nights that we slept there, caught up in the wanting of what could be and following through on the cravings of our bodies.
I know not how to handle you dying Kat or myself at the thought that I might be the one who has speeded this along. The thought of me causing you pain has driven a staff through my heart and yes, I do admit to having read your diary, my precious.
As I lay dwelling on your bed, drowning in my own pity, I caught sight of your laptop Artemisia. It appeared open and to be running, as if left there on purpose for my eyes alone; if it wanted me to see the truth once and for all. My fastidious habits remained true to form and therefore begrudgingly I dragged myself from your room and made my way to this machine. As I placed myself on the couch, I glanced up at the sky. It was so beautiful and clear, with one soft cloud that appeared to slowly roll through the sky as if it rightfully belonged there. How interesting that I would notice such a thing again in my life. As pulled my gaze from the outdoors to your computer, I was startled by what was on the screen… your personal life, events, thoughts. I became enthralled by this knowledge of you and, yes, I read the entire work.
Regarding your refusal for treatment, I want you to know that I am enraged at your selfishness, pussycat. If not for your being in the hospital, I would come immediately to impose on you the punishment you warrant for this act, you contemptible red headed mongrel. You self-centered, egotistical bastard! To keep such illness to oneself is inexcusable. The only result you have accomplished by this daft act of yours is the anguish in my soul. You may want to play the martyr, thinking your death will result in some form of salvation for the masses, but you, my love, will not be that sacrifice. I will not allow such a thing to occur. And to fathom the thought of running away to wherever your beautiful head takes you is truly ridiculous. Surely you must know by now that I would use whatever means to locate and bring you home. You belong with me, pussycat. Nowhere else. As Iason had so many times told me about Riki, I shall make it as simple and as clear for you now; You belong to ME! I will never let you go. Do you understand me? You will not die and leave me missing you for a single day. I am obsessive perhaps, but that is what you get when you nestle into me like you have done. I shall give you freedom, but you will forever be chained to me in soul no matter who caresses your body.
You asked to be placed next to Aethelric? This is a grandiose plea, don't you think? It is one that requires much thought on my side whether to comply or not. Aethelric is a portion of my past that I find bitter yet treasure with every cell of my body. He was a man of strengths and gentleness who stole my heart and left it in pieces. I do not share his memory with others, for it is mine alone to deal with and to find conclusion to. You though, are not "others" you are my mine and mine alone. My answer to you at this time is NO, Katze, you may not be placed next to him. Your cowardly behavior in the face of immanent death is inexcusable. How can you even think that this is a possibility? Had you shown greater courage and trust in myself or others, then yes, Kat, I conclude that it would be an option to consider. However, you are not about to pass away. I have other plans for you.
I have set back and regained some sense in all has occurred recently. I browsed through your home, once more experiencing all that is you. As I made my way through the bathroom, I smiled as I remembered you telling me of the hair in the drain; such a thing to remember at this time. I sat for awhile on the edge of your bathtub and lost myself in thoughts. Thoughts of how we have treated each other through the years. As with any relationship, and I do believe at this point we can call ours that, there are grand memories along side the vicious ones.
Yes, I do remember you as a young boy and the look in your eyes when I saved you from rightful punishment by Iason. I had never seen such beautiful bright eyes, so full of terror at the thought of what might befall you. With you in my arms that day, I had no knowledge that our lives would become so complex and intertwined. How is it that when ones life becomes fulfilled it directly affects another's? I find it unjust, these laws of balance and equality.
You, my pussycat, have become so accomplished lately at exposing your feelings that I will attempt the same. You will perhaps find what I say distasteful but I can only hope that maybe you will see the truth in all that I say. I can only expose what I harbor inside and it is you who chooses to believe it or not. I will start with Trithorax, for this seems to engulf the emotional part of our relationship, the one where barriers were thrown down and hearts exposed.
My initial attempt as Tri, in communicating with you, was to gain insight into what situations you had become involved in; instead, I found myself enthralled by the man behind the screen. You have no idea the freedom there was Katze, the sense of anonymity. It was like paradise had come to me at last. This was a treasured time in my life when my soul was laid open; no censure, no conditions. We were two people enjoying one another, enjoying the pleasures anyway we chose without the usual class difference. I must add that it was particularly thrilling to expose myself to you and follow your directions. Kat, you bring out the side of me that I cannot display in general, one that I keep under wraps from prying eyes. What we shared with one another, I cherish deeply and keep to my heart.
For a great while, I found myself consumed by resentment towards both you and Trithorax. Your frequent communications, your clandestine meetings, your trust in one another made me rage inside with jealousy. Whenever I approached you, the glow on your face from "him" would pale into the belligerent attitude towards me that I found near impossible to tolerate. I knew your true feelings, your weakness in this man, and your lust for him but yet, I had to maintain face while Tri enjoyed the fruits.
The fury in your heart by what you deemed as a betrayal of trust, I understand. But how is that different from what you did to me? I will not hurt you, Kat, this is not my desire. I will, however, love you and care for you no matter what the circumstance. No mockery of the words there, you read correctly. It will be an unconditional love. You have not rid yourself of me so easily, my doll.
I examined the condo thoroughly to find whatever traces you left behind and a visit to your kitchen was rather surprising. Although the company there was quite lacking, I feel better since I went. You are out of several staples though; such neglectful behavior on your part surprises me. I can only hope that this is not a reflection of your personal skills in other areas.
Reading through Artemisia, it is as if you are here with me in spirit and I find myself missing you more than I dare to admit. Now is the time for truth as to the explanation of why I will not let you die. I have made the decision to reconstruct you, for you to again be whole and functioning and satisfied. Now I am the one with the selfish wants! I want you to experience all that you choose, all that you choose of me and yes, all of your deviant desires that I know exist. If you want to take me, you will have your chance after this. You said once to Trithorax, that only a Master towards his Pet could make such decisions and so… I have made the decision towards MY Pet! The outcome is the same, my love, you belong to me.
You will also find yourself going through treatments for the cancer, no matter how extreme or what pain that might be, you will proceed through it. I have ignored your wish for death for the simple reasons of respect and love. I respect your wants and desires, these are not being dismissed, however our love for one another pulls seniority over this respect. I cannot live without you in my life, pussycat. You have become a vital element and I find that I am at a loss when you are not there. I am holding you to your promise to Trithorax, that "We will grow old together." There are no other options my love. You are MINE!
With all my love, forever and always,
Raoul
Treatment failure: 4694-095
My beloved Katze. You are as stubborn in the face of Death as you are in life, but don't be stubborn towards me! Please, pussycat, I deserve more! We were performing the third try of de-cellularization of your lungs until only the mesothelium was intact. We washed out all the old cells and through stem cell transplantation we seeded the new lung cells into the cavity. Your body rejected this the third time. Please, kitty, stop doing this. Your blood has been replaced by isotonic serum-milk, which absorbs the oxygen diffusing through your skin and for the time being it is enough, but we will have to get that lung of yours working. Your body is paler than mine due to the milk. Your iris is colored white as well and gives you an alien feature that is almost frightening. Your red hair is the only thing I recognize about you for the moment and I am holding on to that. You've always been a fighter ever since you sacrificed your body to live among us Blondies. Please, Katze, fight now! I need you to do it.
I retrieved your journals and we spotted several metastasis in you a while back. Luckily those are gone, but your lungs are posing a great challenge.
Well, I promised to fill you in on the details, Kat. Can you imagine my surprise when I am awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night, asked to turn on the news. I knew it was Agatha on the communicator, I recognized her voice, but she sounded unusually stressed and in some way extremely concerned. I turned on the TV and was overwhelmed by what I saw. I saw the fire consuming that an old warehouse in Ceres, and the police force was dragging people out either in body bags or in shackles and names I recognized were being mentioned on these breaking news. The event was being recorded from air as well as from the ground and it was but chaos everywhere. I heard that Pet trafficking was mentioned over and over and when I saw Papa Downs being taken away in shackles I was swept away by worry. When I asked Agatha if you were in some way involved, she told me you were taken to the hospital after being shot in the stomach. The injury you had sustained was not lethal for the authorities had acted quickly, that is what the surgeons told me when I arrived to the healing center, but then they brought the most terrifying news on me. I remember those words so well.
"He has aggressive, terminal cancer that has spread to the adrenal glands and has only a few more weeks to live. Treatment may or may not be successful since so much time has passed. We found a journal from a previous examination dated back to 043 this year and he clearly denied treatment. Lord Am, we don't know what to do whether to comply with his wishes…"
"No!" I shouted over and over and decided right then and there that I would assume control over your life and all treatments were to be engaged in order to bring you back to health. You may be angry with me for this decision, but I am not ready to let you go, Katze.
The coming days I was in and out of court, at the police station, in a hearing with Jupiter, or at board meetings with the new crew to help me realize Jupiter's Borjian project. Yes, we have taken it up again and it's rolling on.
Katze, I heard the recording from your meeting with Papa Downs. I can't believe you took such a big chance. He could have killed you… he almost did.
I asked investigator Carr Novat Andersen, to give me the recording to be able to present it for you here. I don't know how much of this you will remember, but since you are documenting every moment in your life, I will have parts of it posted for you here.
/…/
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'63):
I must say, Katze, that you definitely managed to dig deeper than what I had been expecting… to think that X-breed was an agent. I must say that really took me by surprise."
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'64):
He is clean, sir.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'64):
Good. I do apologize for being this blunt, my friend, but you do understand we need to be careful.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'64):
No worries.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'65):
Would you like a smoke, Kat? All right, let me know in case you change you mind. Listen, I was quite baffled by the briefing you gave me. What made you put together Hazall with Lord Jerychio?
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'66):
It was a long and tedious process, Papa, and I must admit you had me fooled all along. You wanted me to find whatever I could on Raoul's affairs, but lead me astray to make it seem as if it was Raoul behind it all when it fact it was YOU all along, wasn't it?
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'66):
Kat, what are you talking about?
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'66):
Oh c'mon, Papa. You taught me to be thorough and to find the leaks in even the tightest alibis and now you act surprised when all the roads lead back to you? Level with me at least.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'67):
All right. Go on…
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'67):
You wanted those document to have them destroyed, except for the contract, which could undermine Jupiter, and to build up a case against Raoul and Dr Hannoh. You sent them over to Hazall, and I know this for I retrieved them from his computer and there is no other way they could've gotten there for I sent them directly to you.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'68):
You are forgetting X-breed, my dear Kat. He was tapping in on your communication routes. He could've easily duplicated the documents and sent them to Hazall. Do you think I would be the only one to gain in this? For goodness sakes, Kat, open your eyes. Everybody wants a piece of the action for there is money in this business… besides, why would I want to kill all those innocent kids? For fuck sakes, Katze, you KNOW me."
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'69):
Not well enough, Papa. X-breed was the one helping me to salvage some of the documents. I do believe he managed to fool you too and you really thought he was on your side, but he was one step ahead of you thanks to Miss Doh'ra. They were not in on this for the money. Fine, I admit that everyone has a great deal to gain in this. I mean, X-breed will most probably be promoted, Miss Doh'ra will take over the Black Market, but they were the only ones who cared to take a deeper look into this affair, whilst YOU wanted me to bury the only man who has been fighting this the whole time. You almost had me convinced. All the evidence you showed me. The kids at the Deben harbor, concealing your connections to Hazall. You just missed to wipe out one thing… Aethelric. You see, he is not destroyed like Blondies usually get or incinerated like mongrels. Raoul never took him to Jupiter. He is buried like people were thousands of years ago. His remains are still in the ground and THAT will tie Hazall and Jerychio to the poaching of Pets and the early experiments they conducted. It's all in Aethelric's genes. And when they go down, I am sure the there will be evidence enough to lock you up too.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'71):
You need to sort out your priorities, kid. Do you want to be a slave under Jupiter for the rest of your life?
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'71):
As opposed to being a slave under you and Hazall? Please, don't make me laugh.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'71):
Make you LAUGH? You wipe that shit of a smirk off you face when you talk to me, eunuch! If it hadn't been for me you would still be bowing for crumbs the Blondies feed you off the table! You were NOTHING when you came to me. I created you and what you became, little brother!
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'72):
Don't call me brother, Papa. Those days are over and don't ever forget… Iason Mink created me. How could you even consider working with people like Hazall and Jerychio? They are murderers!
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'73):
Oh, don't be such a self-righteous son of a bitch, Katze. You didn't cry your eyes out or had sleepless nights over the Pets you traded so many years."
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'73):
But I killed no kids! And for the record… I do have sleepless nights, because I do see their faces.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'74):
Does it matter, Kat? A kill is a kill, no? It's always about chance and probable outcome, Kat… you know who lives and who dies. I don't make that decision. I just round them up. Besides, how about your former boss, Iason Mink? Are his hands clean of the blood of innocents?"
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'75):
For crying out loud, Papa… they were just kids… Iason would have never allowed it.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'75):
Don't be so gullible, Katze. Besides, those kids have a much better chance for a great life if they can fulfill the dreams of the upper class and when Hazall and Jerychio are able to conduct their studies, more of these kids can be taken out from the gutter and into the home of the rich. And who are you to judge them? You had them cutting your freaking cock off so that you could sleep on white, clean sheets. Not one of them was implanted without their consent, so they knew what was going on… each and every Pet signed a contract!
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'76):
But they didn't know they were signing their own death certificate in case you got cold feet when the authorities came too close.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'77):
Hey! Abandoning ship was not my idea! Once the ships are filled they belong to Hazall.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'77):
So Hazall gave the orders to kill those youngsters?
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'78):
Katze, Hazall gives orders about everything. Even that Blondie, Lord Jerichio, is owned by Hazall. He would be nowhere if that old man hadn't pulled that freight company out of the shit. Jerychio does have a lot of brains though and I'm quite sure he can pull this off.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'79):
Well, this is way below my standards if I ever had any… let me have that cig now.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'79):
Here… sit down…
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'00):
No thanks.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'01):
So what happens now… Bunny?
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'01):
Papa, no matter what happens, I cannot let you have Raoul. Never. He is… mine… to bury… if I choose to.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'02):
I am sorry you feel that way, Katze. I guess a few years with those Blondies did turn you soft.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'02):
I guess they did. But you see… nothing you say can justify poaching either Pets or Blondies. I'm sorry to say it though. The Blondies didn't set the stage for these scenes, they are just trying to survive in the same way we are. You think your actions will make things right or set some sort of balance?
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'03):
Balance? No… there is no balance in life. As for the scenes, someone has to be the Director… I'll leave that for Hazall for he likes to stand in the strobe lights, but I prefer being the producer rather than being the makeup guy or the asshole holding the microphone. You know… we all choose our parts: I made mine.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'05):
You are right, Papa. We all have to make our choices.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'07):
So what happens now, Kat? You know I can't let you go. Not after all of this.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'08):
Well, then we are in the same boat, for you are just as trapped, Papa. Everything you've said has been recorded…
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'08):
What?
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'08):
THIS IS THE TANAGURA POLICE FORCE. THE PERIMITERS ARE SURROUNDED. LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND SURRENDER. THE FORCE HAS PREMISSION TO SHOOT ON SIGHT – ALL ARMED RESISTANCE WILL BE DESTORYED.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'09):
Everyone! Get the fucking guns and move to the cars. Now! Katze, what the fuck have you done?!
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-22'09):
I am wired, and you see this necklace? It's an alarm and I set it off. It takes two minutes for the troops to enter this building… and the time is already up. You tried to hurt Raoul, Papa, and that was a BIG mistake. This is personal and you're going down.
(Recording 47287- 4694-065-21'63):
So this is loyalty, you son of a bitch? But if I go down, Katze, so do you…
/…/
The next thing I hear, my beloved pussycat, is the shot that takes you out. I don't know why you let it happen. Why didn't you draw the gun? I guess you made your choice too, didn't you? You chose to be a new person, but it wasn't right time then. The shot echoes on forever it seems and suddenly there is nothing but screams, weapons firing and explosions. It goes on and on and I get the shivers each time I listen to it. I hate this recording… it depicts your death. I heard it in court and I hear it now and I can't take it anymore. I am glad you survived, but we still have a long way to go.
I have to be in court tomorrow and thus I must prepare myself. I have no time to write more, but I will continue later.
Court decision: 4694-096
I am sorry, Katze, I have not been at your side today. I was called in for the hearing. Jupiter was ruthless and the jury merciless. It has been going on since the arrest of Lord Jerychio and Hazall and with them almost two-dozen more involved stood before the verdict. It took less than ten minutes for the court to deliberate. Jerichyio is to be destroyed along with Hazall and I cannot tell you what joy that brings to my heart. Your former friend, Papa Downs, is transferred to a maximum-security prison for thirty years awaiting the same fate as the others; eventually to be destroyed. Jupiter can be a bitch with a capital 'B' when she is in that mood. Am I wicked for feeling relieved?
A few weeks back, the day after the attack at the Honey District, I was present at the arrest of Hazall and Jerychio. I was talking to Carr at the hospital, taking a cup of coffee whilst being filled in with the details you withheld from me, and he asked me in case I wanted to follow him to the Federation building at the time of arrest. I wouldn't want to miss that for the world.
It was early morning, for Carr had already received the warrant to enter the building. Hazall and Jerychio were in a meeting with the new board to seal the contract regarding the Tangura Biomedical Center. I was to have a meeting with them the week after and officially hand over the entire market to them and thus I was viciously exultant about disrupting their meeting, accompanied by a dozen officers. The meeting room was filled with black-suits with expressionless stiff faces and hungry to make a good investment in my company; ripping it apart amongst themselves. They would devour it like predators and turn it into a den of indecency and immoral experiments.
Hazall looked at me with overwhelming disdain, furious at me for interrupting this meeting, and Jerychio returned that smug superiority he exuded the day he ripped my Aethelric from me. They were so sure that they had won and thus I felt an insatiable malicious itch as I set forth that the deal was off. Everyone looked at me with surprise and that hideous old man flew up from his chair, veins protruding underneath his skin as he roared for security to have us removed. At that time Carr stepped in and slammed the warrant with Jupiter's seal on the table and you know what my darling Katze? I got to set forth the lines my heart was aching to hear for so long; "Lord Jerychio, you are under arrest for the murder of Aethelric Wei." And I couldn't help but add; "I will have you annihilated, you bastard."
As for Hazall he was placed under arrest for embezzlement, and the murder of forty-six young Pets. Agatha was there and had a vicious little smile on her cute lips as she proclaimed herself as the new queen of the underground world. Indeed, I am sure there are new changes awaiting that world too. I know she is a harsh cookie at times, but trust my instincts in women, Katze, for she has a kind soul.
Her former Master, Theschel'rhiann Qhui, who is the minister of foreign affairs will be taking over the post as Trade Representative of the Federal Government. At least meanwhile. I am glad. I've known Lord Qhui for a along time and he is a respectable person.
I went to Aethelric's grave straight after the verdict and told him the good news. Call me mad, pussycat, but it was almost as if I could see his face shimmering through that headstone, smiling back at me. I think he has found peace at last and I feel I can move on. I can let him go and focus on the future; on us. He will always have a special place in my heart, and please do not ever feel you are competing, for that is not the case. But he turned my head towards a different direction that I needed in order to be where I am today. I am thankful for that. I am thankful for what he gave me - You.
Iason: 4694:129
Iason is already up on his feet. We broke his cocoon two weeks ago and now he has to exercise on a regular basis to give his muscles the tone and strength he once had. We have a tiny chip of the Argonaut treatment under his skin, which will have to be replaced in a decade, but I can proudly say that we have succeeded. I never imagined I would see him again and hearing him speak my name over the communicator fills me with such happiness. He will stay with me for a few more weeks and he follows me to the lab every single day to watch the development of Riki's new body. As I had told you before, Jupiter could not deny him his greatest wish, but of course, Riki will have to be an official Pet of Iason's and properly tagged for ownership. She is most pleased with the outcome of the research, for this means that within a year, Iason should be able to take his rightful position as the Syndicate boss again. I hated that job, but I am more than willing to be his advisor in the background. It will be like before, but still so much more different. I feel hope, Katze.
You see, Iason remembers a lot of details, especially clear are those that left powerful imprints, and have decided to tell Riki everything; even about Guy. I opposed at first, but it's their life and I agree that lies and secrets bring about heavy loads that just burdens you as the years pass. I should know, right? It's what drove you, Aethelric and me to this grave. Speaking of which, Iason came to Aethelric's grave with me yesterday. He was most intrigued with all that has taken place and you will have to forgive me, my darling, but I showed him your diary. It was easier than to speak. He read from afternoon till the morning without as much as lifting his gaze from the screen. I think he was touched and I think he was impressed and I think… you mean a lot to him.
Oh Katze, if we can ever escape this, I will never hold a single word untrue or unspoken to you. Please come back.
Your first breath: 4694-131
I cannot begin to tell you, pussycat, just how happy you made me today. We implanted the new cells a few days ago and they grew well. Today morning at exactly 07'63, you took your first breath completely on your own. We detached you from the life support system and so far, your little chest is heaving with deep, healthy breaths. In a few days time we will try to reintroduce your blood – it's washed and new blood cells are just waiting to course through your veins again. I've seen your first breath, now I am just waiting for you to open your eyes and speak your first words. I will spend a few days here with you.
I dozed off next to you, but was awakened by you pushing me around as you started turning in the bed. That is an excellent sign, pussycat, for it means that the sedatives are slowly wearing off and you have started dreaming again. I wonder if you are dreaming about me as well. I can't wait for you to wake up. I have so much to show you.
Your first words: 4694-134
You spoke! Katze, you spoke for the first time today! I was sitting in the armchair near your bed, snoozing to the calmness surrounding you when I suddenly heard a soft whisper. I thought I was dreaming, but as it was repeated over and over I knew it must have been you. You said; "Bunny."
Can you believe it? That was your first word. You were lying on your side, facing the direction where Bunny was watching over you from the bedside table. He was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes. I told you he was a guardian, and even eunuchs need someone to watch over them at times. I can do that, Katze. If you let me…
I rushed up to you and wrapped my arms around you. You lacked the strength to return the gesture, but the smile on your dry lips as you submerged in sleep in my arms was reward enough. To see that you felt safe with me was like balm to my soul. Soon I can stop writing in your diary and you can return to documenting the world from your view. I am awaiting that day with great anticipation.
Your shocking discovery: 4694-136
So far you had a catheter to aid the waste products to leave your body, but today was the first time you could go to the bathroom yourself. I hadn't told you anything about the modification to your body but I think it was worth every second of watching your reaction.
You were weary but told me you had to use the bathroom. I helped you out of the bed and you held on to me like there is no tomorrow for fear of losing balance and falling. Your patient-robe covered your front so I guess you didn't even give it a second thought when you sat down on the toilet. You leaned your forehead against the sink whilst relaxing enough for the urine to slowly trickle out of you… only it pelted against the floor and the dread from the notion that something was awfully wrong gave you such an adrenaline kick that you stumbled out of the bathroom and straight into my arms. You were stuttering incoherently whilst pointing at the yellow pool that had followed you from the toilet to the room and was now building up around you feet. I couldn't help but laughing and told you that you will most likely have to get used to the fact of 'tucking it in' when you sit down or you'll end up with wet feet.
I carried you to the shower and cleaned you off and all this time, your pretty ambers have been glued to your hips. It's almost as if you had never seen anything like it. I tried to communicate with you, but you were and still are completely absorbed with that new equipment of yours.
I must admit, it is very beautiful and I am looking forward to trying it, but your reaction was hilarious.
You kept on staring at it as you were sitting in the bed asking; "Is that mine? Is that a… a… is that mine?"
I just had to kiss you. It was our first, lasting kiss in a long time. I was so hungry for your lips that I couldn't tear myself away even when you were gasping for air. I removed my outer garment and snuck under the covers with you, holding you close until you fell asleep again. You look so peaceful when you sleep and once you get strong enough, I will present you with another surprise. I must admit that when you had submerged in deep sleep, I took the opportunity to touch you between the legs; to feel your manhood come alive in my hands… throbbing in my palms. It's beautiful, Katze. The texture is like heaven to my skin and the scent of you is intoxicating me. I long for you. I really do.
This is my last message to you, pussycat. You are getting better.
Choices and redemption: 4694-145
Artemisia!!! I am back!!! I am still a bit weak, meaning I can't run more than twenty minutes on a treadmill, but I am getting there. I've read through the few chapters Raoul had added to my Diary whilst I've been too weak and I can only say I am glad he found you before I had the chance to run away. I understand his anger and his determination to keep me close. I am glad he saved me.
I no longer want to dwell on the past, I want a clear future, so I will close the chapters to what was. I want to continue working for Raoul and I have accepted his offer to be his Pet.
*Peeking under the blanket* Yep, I have a ring too. *Smiling*
I know this sounds all so crazy for I've always wanted to be independent, but the condo is still vacant to be used whenever I need it. It will be sort of Riki's and my 'Bachelor's den', but my goal is to eventually move in with Raoul.
I can't begin to explain what it's like to see my body complete. To begin with, being able to breathe so easily. No wheezing of the lungs, no pain and no more coughing up blood. And of course, Raoul is making sure I will not fall back into my old habit of becoming a nicotine addict. I guess cigarettes are a part of my persona, but I promise I will never return to what was; not compromising my health again. Yes, you guessed it; those more expensive brands with cold flame and better filter and without addictive drugs. Smoking is now more of a social interaction for me, like drinking coffee, one that I will not take into exaggeration again. Of course, though Raoul keeps a close eye on my health (he is dead set on me not leaving this life before him) he does find my occasional smoking rather sexy (or so he says – and I believe him for I am quite sexy, aren't I? Hahaha.).
Apart from that… I have a penis! A dick, a knob… hehehe… I have a dick and it has a head… a dick-head and I like it. I can't even remember what it looked like, but what I have now is more than sufficient. It has a great size, not too big and not too small, although I have not had it in full use yet other than masturbating (yes, yes, I dare to admit) and practicing the "touchy-feely"-part on Riki (coming back to that later).
I'm still amazed how soft it is in my palm. The skin is like silk, so thin and elastic, and so sensitive. I know this sounds really crazy but even such a simple thing as going to the bathroom is exciting. I can feel the warmth from my belly spread all the way through that narrow passage before the water leaves my body. Hey! I can pee standing as well!!!
Seriously, I am a little afraid of it. I don't really know how to handle it, but hopefully it will be up to a test soon for I am invited to dinner at Raoul's house along with Iason and Riki. Oh, yes, Riki. He is doing well as I understand it. He has no recollection of the past, but he is mature enough to be open about what he finds out. His past is returning through the people he used to know, and has learned to know, and stories are fed to him in small portions. I think he is doing well and messing around together in that Bachelor's den does good for both him and me. He does get a bit physical now and then, and though I used to dislike that kind of closeness I no longer scurry away from probing hands and curious lips. Oh yes, he has talents, Artemisia. He has always been a horny little toad, and now there's the two of us. But though I sometimes feel like wanting more when he snuggles closer, I want to be inside Raoul first and after that… Riki's bum will be in trouble.
I am looking forward to spending the night with Raoul tonight. It'll be the first time we will be alone and together since I've been released from the hospital. I will let you know what has happened later on. Taking you with me though, for I might not return to the condo. I know Riki will go home to Iason – he winks at me from across the room as I ask him this. He is true to his nature though and chooses mainly dark colors getting dressed. He is a nice guy. I told him the other day that he used to be an annoying and indecisive nitwit, but I guess without all that angst, that raw attitude is peeled off and more of the true Riki the Dark is given the chance to shine through. Not that he lacks attitude; that is a part of who he is and I am sure Iason will have his hands full despite the fact that Riki is tamed. After all, Riki did return to him and that was all the evidence Iason needed to be reassured who owned his heart. I'm glad for them. Well, Riki is nagging at me… it's time to go. Talk to you later.
New Life: 4694-117
It's been two days and it's night again. Raoul is sleeping next to me and I am tapping away on my laptop, you that is. Wow, I've been put to the test over and over and I have discovered a completely new life and new opportunities with Raoul. After dinner the other day, we had a relaxing game of pool and watched a great movie. I've never seen Iason so relaxed and Riki so devoted as they were that evening; acknowledging each other with little glances, smiles and flirting. They are crazy in love I'd say, but I shouldn't be the one to talk. The night ended for me in Raoul's bed.
After following Iason and Riki to the door, our lips were glued together the entire journey to the master bedroom. Bits of clothing were dropped along the way and by the time we reached the bed we were both completely naked. My body was longing so much, I felt a certain pain from my groin. I looked down on myself and saw my member staring back at me with pride. He was weeping and throbbing, overwhelming me with emotions that washed over me as electrical spasms. I was getting short of breath and pulled Raoul close just to hide my body in his embrace. I was no longer kissing him, it felt like I was feeding through his mouth, devouring his offering of emotions. I had longed for this moment, yet I was ashamed and almost felt abashed exposing myself before him like this – it was like my first time. Well, this was my first time. I was losing my virginity again.
Raoul directed me on my back and as I lay on the bed he began his journey to discover my body with kisses and caresses. Raoul attended every inch of my body; from the curve of my neck to the waist and then hovered with that agonizing tension above my manhood. He smiled and liked his lips; I did the same almost if I was craving for the same deliciousness he was about to taste. He opened his mouth ever so slowly and inched his way down on my throbbing penis. It was a feeling unlike any other I had ever felt. My heart was pounding like crazy and I couldn't breathe for the powerful sensations his actions generated. I arched my back and pushed my head into the pillows panting a few encouraging breaths for him to continue. His tongue was attending my penis from top to bottom and he devoured it with such delight and passion that I nearly climaxed after a few strokes. Little did I know Raoul had only started his playful torture. I fisted his blanket and nearly ripped it in half when he slowly pulled away and left a cool trail of wetness along my entire shaft.
Raoul smiled with a radiant beam as he arranged his hair behind his back and asked me to give him the lubricant in the upper drawer of the bedside table. I watched with great anticipation as his fingers enclosed around me, covering me with slippery liquid and then attended his rear. The preparation itself was unbearable and I nearly lost my seed as he gently brushed his own member against mine to tease me. The last thing I could focus on, enough to remember the events, was Raoul slowly straddling my hips and carefully sliding down on me. I could feel every little feature inside his body enclosing around me; the strong muscle of his virgin portal as it reluctantly opened up for this endearing violation. It was posing a great resistance and thus causing Raoul a twinge, but he wanted it so badly – I wanted it so badly – that we pushed our emotions beyond that swift moment of pain. As a virgin, it didn't take long before I lost myself inside his body and our first night ended with only partial gratification, but we are getting there.
I can only say that tonight was even better than yesterday. Raoul was relaxing more and slowly he was finding a rhythm and position that suited him better when he let me inside. I am beginning to learn how to find his prostate and I can make him whimper my name with a stolen breath. Only a few hours ago my hands were firmly holding on to his hips, pulling him against me as I thrust forward. He was hugging the stack of pillow under his chest, casting an occasional glance at me to encourage the pace or the motions. I know he likes me taking care of him, but Raoul remains true to his Blondie nature, as he doesn't completely let go of his dominance and at times prefers to be the one behind me. I don't mind though. We are slowly reaching a balance between our cravings and demands, for I believe we both like a certain variation and that suits me well.
We both have an imagination that can take us far. We have looked through the recording from his previous encounters with the girls and recording from Aaryïn and came to the conclusion it was something we wanted to experience again. Yes, I mean both the girls and also playing the parts of BlueBunny and Trithorax; being at separate places and seducing each other at a distance. The possibilities were endless and our life together is long and intertwined. In this respect, since our lives began at Aaryïn, Raoul presented me with his surprise. He told me he booked a suite for us on that party island. So after the last remnants of this whole mess have cleared from the air on Amoi, we will take a vacation and head off for a few months – just enjoying and indulging in life.
As I see him lying next to me I get completely mushy. Raoul loves it when I am typing on you in the middle of the night. He said it gives him great pleasure to hear your silent keys softly tip-tap in the dead of the night and the faint light your screen gives off is just soothing. He feels safe knowing I am here and I feel safe knowing he is beside me. I am finding myself looking forward to the next day with Raoul and I'm finally content with life.
The possibilities are now endless…
Looking forward to a new tomorrow…
Good night Artemisia.
Love
Katze Am
