51. LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE FIRE NATION, THERE'S AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF RITUAL, TRADITION, AND CEREMONY SURROUNDING AN AGNI KAI. Except for extreme circumstances (such as two claimants to the throne challenging each other) there's a mandatory one-day cooling off period. The duels must be fought during the day, preferably at whenever the sun is highest in the sky. The fight must occur at a designated dueling ground, blessed by a fire sage. There are rules against physical contact, rules against using anything but one's own bending, traditions stating that to either challenge or accept a challenge from someone who is significantly less powerful than you is the height of shame and dishonor. There are rules and traditions governing the behavior of bystanders. You have to have a second. The loser can cry for mercy, but it is up to the winner whether or not to accept or go for the kill (for the record, the vast majority of Agni Kais end in someone conceding, typically after a token fight to maintain one's honor). Agni Kais between two individuals of different classes (for example, between a peasant and a member of the nobility) are discouraged and frowned upon. Agni Kais between men and women (again, except in extreme situations) are forbidden, though women are free to challenge women and men are free to challenge men (and yes, it is not terribly uncommon for two noblewomen to challenge each other, and those are some of the most ferocious duels). There are traditional prayers, traditional meals to eat beforehand, traditional ways to celebrate a victory or mourn a defeat.
Naturally, all of this is thrown out the window that afternoon. Not ten minutes after Katara called out my sister, we're all out by the beach, the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon. It would actually be a beautiful view, if it wasn't for the occasion. The sky is threaded with billowing wisps of cloud, turned a thousand shades of purple and gold by the autumn sun. The breeze coming off the sea is steady and cool and thick with the taste of salt, and the sea itself is calm and quiet, waves gently lapping at the sand.
Just about everyone's come out to watch. Most of the village is arrayed around the beach, carefully placed a safe distance away behind walls of rock that Toph has thrown up. I scan the crowds, spot people I know, members of the tribe and even the members of my crew, many of them rubbing prayer beads and muttering pleas to the gods. Azula's crew stand at the far end of the beach, passing bottle of sake back and forth and chuckling to themselves, no doubt expecting a quick victory. Out in front of Toph's wall, Toph herself fumes and passes, her killer hangover forgotten, while Sokka matches her grumbled curse for grumbled curse. I ignore them, focusing all of my attention on Katara. At the far end of the beach, my sister is stomping around, stripping down to her underclothes and tossing her armor to the ground. I can't hear what she's saying, or to whom she's speaking, and to be honest, I don't want to know.
I won't pretend that I don't care, though…
Katara and I are facing each other, clasping each other's hands tightly. She's stripped down to her own underclothes, though if she feels the bite in the breeze, she doesn't show it. In fact, she's calm and steady as a rock, almost giddy, even. There's a gleam in her eyes and she looks like at any moment she'll burst into laughter at the absurdity of the situation. It's so infectious that I'm half-afraid that I'll be the one to collapse into hysterics.
My heart is beating away like a wild beast in my chest. I feel light-headed and surreal, unable to believe what's going on. I squeeze her hands, and she looks up at me, that all-to-familiar sparkle in her eyes.
"Hey," she says, still somehow smiling, "I got this. You believe me, right?"
I sigh, shaking my head. "Babe, you know I don't just believe you, I believe in you."
She sighs, rolling her eyes. "Then calm down."
I nod. "I'll take that under advisement."
She clucks her tongue, popping up to kiss me softly on the cheek. She takes a deep breath, lets it out, and says, in that unbelievably steady voice she somehow has, "So, anything I need to know?"
"Yeah…you know how I bend?"
She nods. "I should. We've been…heh…" She adopts a hungry expression, and shamelessly runs her tongue around the inside of her mouth. "We've been sparring a lot lately, you know…"
It's hard not to blush. Somehow, I like to think that I manage. "Heh…true…still, Azula doesn't bend like that."
She arches an eyebrow. "She doesn't? How so?"
"Well…" I have so search for words for a few moments. Once again, I find myself running up against a language barrier. Firebending is a discipline that exists in Nihongo, is, in some ways, shaped by Nihongo; explaining the finer points of it in any other language can be a pain. Somehow, though, I manage, because Katara needs me to. "Basically…you know how there are different schools of waterbending?"
"Mmhmm. Kind of like how they bend completely differently in the North than we do down here?"
"Exactly. Well…there are about three major schools of firebending. There's Old Firebending, which goes right back to the beginning, then there's Sozin's School, which is what most modern people in the Fire Nation practice-"
She raises her head at that. "Sozin's School? Why does Sozin get his name attached to everything?"
I shrug. "Well…oddly enough, he was a big reformer. If he hadn't started the war, he'd probably be remembered as one of the greatest Fire Lords who ever lived. Man did a lot of good things…right up until he stopped. Reforming firebending was just one of them."
"Huh…well, I guess you learn something new every day. And the third major school?"
"The Dragon School. It's…it's a very different form. Some say it's the oldest, some say it was just a reaction against Sozin's reforms, and that it just combines old forms and new. Point is, that's my school; I was raised in Sozin's School, but when I was exiled, my uncle took over my education, and, well, it turned out that the Dragon School was the one I should've been in all along."
"So," she says, following the thread, "in other words, Azula's pure Sozin's School."
I nod. "Pretty much. So…you know…watch out. She fights different. Also, there's the fact that she's Azula; that tends to…make things weird, sometimes. So…like I said, be careful. If you see her doing anything normal or predictable or that a rational human being would do, that means she's baiting a trap."
She tilts her head. "Have you fought Azula before?"
I shake my head. "I'm afraid not. Our…our father never allowed it. I've seen her fight plenty. Agni Kais are pretty much her favorite thing to do."
She giggles. "Well, handing out a well-deserved ass-kicking is basically my favorite thing to do, so, it turns out we're both going to be on even ground."
I lean down, press my lips to her forehead. "You're totally going to win this, aren't you?"
She rolls her eyes and scoffs. "Please. You had any doubts?"
"Heh…not really, no."
"Good, because if you had, you would've spent the next month on the couch."
My eyes go wide. "Gods forbid."
She gives me a long, deep kiss, full of passion and promise, before pulling away and shoving me back to where Toph and Sokka have finally planted themselves on the makeshift wall. "And you just remember that."
I wave at her as I take my position. "I will."
Katara walks away from me to her starting position, head up, shoulders back, eyes blazing with confidence. I make no bones about admiring the view. I shouldn't be thinking of such things, I know. This is crazy. Fucking crazy. I should be terrified, hysterical, going out of my fucking mind with fear. What am I doing? How could I let this happen? It's obvious Azula came here at least partially intending to provoke me into just this kind of fight. Why didn't I rise to the bait? Why didn't I cut her off before it got too far?
Why am I letting this happen?
Only…I'm not letting this happen. To say that would be to imply that I control Katara somehow, which…well…I don't. No one could ever control her, least of all me. She saw what my sister was trying to do, as much as Azula tries to do anything, and then she stepped in and volunteered to teach my sister a sorely needed lesson. She made a decision, and now she's going to follow it through.
That quality is one of the many reasons why I'm crazy about her…
Oh, and she's totally going to win, too, so, yeah, there's that.
Beside me, Toph leans over, handing me a bottle of liquor that I happily take a big pull from. I wipe my mouth, hand the bottle over to Sokka on my other side, while Toph says, "So, tell me, Sparky, are you totally checking out Katara's ass right now?"
I laugh. I don't know why, but I laugh, and it's a real one. "Oh, fuck yeah. Be jealous."
Toph smacks her lips. "Trust me, there's no way it can compare to my mental image of it."
"Heh…no doubt." I turn to Sokka, who is taking far too much time with that bottle. "Hey, share, asshole," I say, as I snatch it away from him. He answers me with a glare, to which I just shrug and say, "Hey, I would've liked to see you try and stop her."
His fury dies a quick death, as he rolls his head around in acquiescence and mutters, "Yeah, I know…still…she's going to win, right?"
Both Toph and I scoff in unison. "Of course she's going to fucking win, Snoozles," Toph replies, sounding flabbergasted that anyone could ever think otherwise. "It's Sugar Queen. She never loses."
Sokka raises a finger, looking to me. "Didn't you once say that your sister never loses, either?"
I nod. "Yeah, she doesn't, but then again, she's never had a real fight before. Plus," I continue, frowning at the jerky, confused way Azula is going through her gathering forms, "I don't think she's all here today."
Sokka nods. "I see what you mean. Still…mind if I say something?"
"Sure."
"Your sister is, like, smoking hot."
Toph nods, taking a pull from the bottle I just passed to her. "Right? I'm blind, and even I can see that."
I roll my eyes. "Fuck you guys. You know that, right?"
Sokka spreads his hands. "Hey, I just call them like I see them."
"Well," I say, taking the bottle from Toph, "don't get too excited. The last guy who thought that ended up in the hospital."
Sokka shrugs. "Hey, I bet he'd say it was worth it."
Toph sighs. "And you guys call me crazy."
I was going to say something to that, but I never got the chance. Suddenly, without warning, Azula hurled a massive wall of flame at Katara. Katara responded by pulling forth her own wall, only of water, slicing the firewall in half and striding through it, smiling, surrounded in a swirling cloud of steam. My sister actually seemed floored by this act, this simple gesture of defiance. She rocked back and forth on her feet for a moment, then screamed like some creature of the night and hurled herself into the attack. Every possible form and combination was hurled at Katara, and each one Katara deflected, repelled, turned into wisps of steam and chunks of ice.
It was actually kind of beautiful to watch…
I wish I could say that it was a close fight, I really do. And who knows, maybe it was; it just looked lop-sided because of my natural bias towards one of the fighters. I know the crowd was gasping, gasping and screaming and covering their eyes. I'm sure there were tears being shed, and Sokka couldn't bear to watch most of it, spending as much time hiding behind his hands as he did actually observing the proceedings.
As for me, though? I couldn't tear my eyes away. To me, it just looked like Katara was, step-by-careful-step, tearing my sister apart.
My sister tried, she really did. Once she fully realized the power and skill that Katara had at her fingertips, realized (I like to think) that she had managed to blunder into the first real fight of her life, she adopted the simple strategy of trying to force Katara way from the sea. She used every trick she possibly could, great walls of flame, crackling fire whips, blazing daggers and spinning wheels bright as the sun. Katara, though? Katara destroyed them all. Katara never attacked, she just took whatever Azula felt like throwing out, and then taking it apart. It was, like I said, beautiful, glorious, wonderful to behold. Soon, Azula was covered in sweat, dripping with water, sand caked in strange patterns all over her skin. She kept screaming, her voice growing hoarse and cracked, hurling abuse at Katara in every language that she knew, and some that I'm pretty sure she only knew the swear words for. Sometimes she screamed at Katara, sometimes at me, sometimes at the crowd, and sometimes…
Sometimes it sounded like she was screaming at people who weren't even there…
The end, when it came, was almost a disappointment. Sure, Azula hadn't been able to keep Katara away from the water, but she had been able to keep Katara from getting to the water, which why it was surprising when both women threw massive walls of their elements at each other, turning the entire world into a thick, billowing cloud of steam. It was so heavy, we couldn't even see, reduced to batting away at the fog and coughing and mumbling to ourselves, the air filled with people's voicing asking what the hell was going on. From within the cloud, we could hear my sister still screaming away, screaming in a way that made it sound like she was actually crying, and then, just as suddenly, the fog cleared, and Azula was standing alone on the beach. She looked around, frantic, until a voice cut through the silence.
"Ready when you are, bitch."
Azula whirled around, and there Katara was, chilling quite casually in the ocean. My sister screamed at the heavens, screamed until she was out of breath, and then hurled herself up into the air, riding on two great pillars of fire. I saw the move, played it out in my mind. Azula would hurl herself into the air, clapping her hands together to form a deadly sword of fire, and then she would hurl herself down upon her opponent. It was a deadly move, one that I had never seen fail to win. I almost closed my eyes…
I'm glad I didn't…
It's hard to describe what happened, it was all so fast, so confused. One minute, my sister was flying down at Katara, slashing her flaming sword into the sea. Katara was there a second before, but then, she was gone, and my sister's flame dissolved into a mist of steam and her own incoherent cries. The steam billowed up, and then, just like that, like the snap of a twig, the very ocean itself seemed to come alive, and it crashed down on Azula, and we couldn't see a thing, just swirling steam and thrashing waves. Silence ticked by, seconds rattled off by my own beating heart. I didn't move, I didn't blink, I didn't breathe…
None of us then…
Then Katara came striding out of the surf, dragging a crumpled, soaking wet thing behind her, and I just about wet myself with relief.
Thank the fucking GODS…
There wasn't much left do after that. Toph came forward and clapped my sister's unconscious form in manacles of rock, just to be on the safe side, while I picked Katara up and swung her around, covering her with kisses. The entire beach erupted into wild cheers and thunderous applause, and soon Katara was lifted up on her people's shoulders and was carried off the beach, everyone chanting her name with wild abandon. Even my sister's crew seemed…well…not too terribly upset. They made no move to help her, and more than a few looked rather satisfied with the turn of events.
Guess I can't blame them…
In the end, it was just me, sitting in the sand, smoking a cigarette, waiting for my sister to wake up. When she finally did, she took one look around her, thrashed about for a few moments, let out a few screams, and then, just as suddenly as she had started screaming, she stopped and burst into tears.
I wish I could say it didn't affect me, it really did. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not a fool; an idiot, maybe, but not a fool. I've heard all the tales about my sister, and collected a few myself. I've seen her kill, sometimes on a whim, sometimes for no reason at all. I've looked into her eyes and seen the madness there. I've hated her before, loathed her, despised the very sight of her. Deep down inside, I've always suspected that, someday, it would come down to a fight between her and me, one-on-one, the Agni Kai that cannot be avoided.
And yet…
I can't hate her, not now, there on the cool, clean sand, with the waves lapping at the shore and my sister, my twenty-one-year-old sister, sobbing like a little girl, right down to the snot running out of her nose and cutting tracks through the sand caked to her face.
I just can't hate her.
I just can't…
Without a word, I take the cylinder that she had brought with her and toss it before her. She takes it in, and for a moment, it's like she can't remember what it is. Then, there's a flash of recognition, and her sobbing turns into pathetic blubbering.
I don't know what else to do, so I start talking, in a strange voice even I barely recognize.
"I want you to know something, Azula: I don't hate you. Honest to Agni, I don't. I'm…I'm sad for you, to tell the truth. You're sick, and you need help, and as long as you stay in the palace, as long as you obey Father's every whim and dictate, as long as you keep twisting yourself around for him, you're never going to get even somewhat better. He's going to let you run yourself into the ground, until, finally, the day comes when someone will value you more dead than alive, someplace where there's not a peace treaty on the line, or your brother holding them back, and they're going to end your existence, and if you think Father is going to shed one fucking tear over you? You're not as smart as I always thought you were. There's…heh…there's so much I've wanted to say to you. Like…how uncle always worried about you, and wished he could've saved you like he saved me, or how shitty I feel about all of this, or how much I wish I could reach through whatever it is that's fogging your mind and bring out the little girl who used to play with her dolls on the floor of my room, or…fuck, I dunno…I just…there's a lot I always wanted to say to you, but…I guess, at the end of the day, none of it really matters. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, right? Yeah, right…"
I take a deep breath, let it out. I take my cigarette, toss it into the sea. Most of Azula's crew has wandered back to the ship, where they're obviously getting ready to depart. Only a few of the Royal Guard remain behind, shifting about aimlessly in the sand, waiting for some sort of order or sign. I stand up, brush the sand from my pants, and pull my sister up onto her knees. I take her face in my hands, brush the tears and the snot away, and I kiss her forehead.
"But what really needs to be said? I'll always love you, Azula. Even when I hate you, you'll always be my sister. One day, I hope, you'll realize what that means, and on that day, I'll accept you with open arms." I lay my forehead against hers, feel the sand grind against my skin. "But if you come for me or mine again, well…I can't make any promises." I pull away, brush a few more tears away. There aren't many now, just little ones, trickling down her face, the sobbing having turned more into sniffling than anything else. I kiss her forehead again, stand up straight, and beckon the guards over, snatching up the cylinder and tossing it into the air. When the guards come up, to my surprise, they bow to me, probably out of habit, and, to my surprise as well, I bow back. I toss one of them the cylinder, and he catches it handily.
"Take care of her," I say, "and if you value your lives, you'll never tell a soul what happened here."
They all nod, nod and bow and nod some more. The man who caught the cylinder raises it, a confused look on his face, and asks, "What's in here, m'lord?"
It's hard not to laugh. M'lord. It's been a long time since anyone called me that…
"It's my official renouncement of my claim to the throne, and of my titles, and of my citizenship, as per the peace treaty."
They nod, and they bow, and the nod, and they bow, as if unsure what to do. At that, I take one last look at my sister, and start to walk away.
I've only gone a few steps when my sister's voice calls me back. I stop, turn on my heel, see that the guards have put a blanket around her shoulders and are preparing to carry her back to the ship. It's then that I realize what she had said to stop me.
"Zuko, wait…"
Zuko…
She's never called me Zuko…
"Yes, sister?"
She looks away. "How did it feel, to finally get the last word?"
I shake my head and shrug. "Like shit. I don't know why you and father fight for it so much."
And with that, I turned back around and headed back into the village, never looking back.
So…I actually really liked this chapter. Like…if there was a chapter that I liked best, out of all the ones I've posted either here or in A Different Path, this would be my favorite. I can't help but feel that I did some real fine work here.
But enough about me. What's the deal with Azula? Well, when we finally meet her in A Different Path, her father has given her free reign, probably happily nudging her over the edge. By the time we get to the final confrontation, she's gone completely over the edge, not least because her supposedly weak, useless brother has been beating her at every turn. She's snapped, and that's the result.
This, though? Azula's on the precipice. On one side is a path towards something like a normal life; on the other side, the abyss. She doesn't even know that she's facing that choice, but Zuko does, because he's spent the past five years making that decision. Here, Katara finally gives Azula the first actual fight of her life, and like all bullies, as soon as they have to really work for domination, Azula falls apart. Then, Zuko, being the guy he is, decides to say to his sister what he always wanted to say, to reach out that hand and try to get her to pull herself away from the edge.
Will she? I can honestly tell you that we won't find out in this story. Maybe in another one? Or, who knows, maybe one of you guys will figure it out.
Man, I'm all about throwing you kids prompts…
And that's it for the war for a while. It's over, it's done. The world has come to terms, and no doubt Azula will spin some story back home and Ozai will shrug and say fuck it and go on his merry way of world tyranny. And guess what that leaves us with, guys?
At least five whole chapters of nothing but fluff!
Hope you kids won't mind…
So, in the next chapter, Sokka and Zuko bond, while Sokka mercilessly mocks Zuko's lack of skill at carving. Stay tuned!
