Just Desserts
"He's what?" Sookie asked, whirling away from the stove and splattering everyone in the vicinity with her delicious peach sauce.
Lorelai glanced down at her blouse to see if she too had fallen victim, and then daintily scooped a droplet of sauce from her lapel with her fingertip. "He's going to a baseball game with Steve Larson," she said, popping finger smeared with a smidgen of sauce into her mouth.
"Luke is?"
"Luke likes baseball."
"Yeah, but is it even still baseball season? We finished baseball weeks ago," Sookie argued.
"I guess this is the last game before they do the tournament thingy."
"Playoffs," Manny grumbled.
"Right, playoffs," Lorelai confirmed with a nod.
"I didn't even know that Luke knew Steve," Sookie murmured as she stood frozen to the spot, sauce sliding down the handle of her spoon and tickling her fingers.
"I guess he goes to Luke's and now they're friends. Best friends," Lorelai added a little snidely as she shrugged.
"Best friends?"
Lorelai signaled Manny, smiling as the man quickly removed the spoon from Sookie's hand and draped a damp towel over her sticky fingers. "You remember the concept, two people who like each other or like the same things hang out together," she said as she watched Sookie wipe the sauce from her fingers.
"But he's… Steve is the guy…" Sookie stammered. "Luke can't hang out with that guy."
"Hey, you're the one having the torrid affair with him in the produce section at Doose's," Lorelai said archly.
"I only told him that carrots he was about to buy looked mealy," Sookie replied indignantly.
"And a couple of days before that, you made him switch from Kona to Arabica," she pointed out.
"That's because Kona is a rip off! Those blends are usually less than ten percent Kona beans!"
"Then there was the time that the two of you gazed deep into each other's eyes as you swapped tenderloin recipes at the butcher's shop."
"He was over seasoning!"
"How do you know? Did you take a bite outta that?" Lorelai taunted.
"Lorelai!"
"I'm just saying, that you don't need to be so shocked that Luke has gotten friendly with Steve, you're friendly with him too," she said as she sipped her coffee.
"I know, but Luke isn't a friendly guy," Sookie sulked.
"He can be friendly."
"You know what I mean."
"I know," Lorelai assured her. She pushed away from the counter, cradling her coffee cup in both hands as she started for the door. "Besides, maybe it'll be good for Luke to have a guy friend," she said, not sounding entirely convinced.
Sookie's jaw dropped. "Luke has guy friends! Jackson is a guy and he's Luke's friend."
"You know what I mean, a guy who's not married to one of my friends," Lorelai said dismissively.
"Luke knew Jackson before he knew you."
"I know. That's my point. Luke and Jackson were never really friends before you married Jackson and I married Luke, so maybe they wouldn't be friends if we weren't friends."
"Oh, so Jackson isn't good enough to be Luke's friend," Sookie scoffed.
"I didn't say that. I just meant that Luke and Jackson don't have a lot in common other than the fact that you and I are friends."
"They do too! They're both married, they're both dads," she pointed out, ticking the reasons out on her fingers.
"Both things which would not have happened if it weren't for you and me," Lorelai said dryly.
"They both eat vegetables!" Sookie cried, punctuating her declaration by pointing at Lorelai triumphantly.
Lorelai smirked as she began to back through the swinging door. "I see your point. Hell, what do they need us for anyway?" she teased as she turned to walk away.
****
"Thank you," Luke said as he took the slotted spoon that Josh held up for him.
"Smells funny," Josh commented.
"Rosemary," Luke answered as he gave the pot of fresh green beans a stir.
"The goose wears green pajamas," Lorelai murmured without looking up from the permission slips she was signing.
"The duck barks at lunchtime," Jake answered.
"All done," Carly said as she pushed a sheet of paper covered in colorful scribbles across the table to Lorelai.
Lorelai peered at it, nodding slowly as she said, "Excellent work. Um, is that our house?"
"Duke! And me and Daddy," Carly answered as she held up both arms in a victory wave.
"Incredible. Here, make one for Mpaw," Lorelai said as she tore another sheet of paper from the pad by her elbow.
"I do da house," Carly said with a nod as she set to work with a purple crayon.
"Excellent. Mpaw loves real estate," Lorelai murmured. "Okay, you guys are all set," she said to Jake as she finished completing the second form. "The Hartford Children's Museum will never know what hit them."
"We've been there," Jake muttered as he tried to affix a tiny wheel to a partially disassembled toy car.
"Yes, but never with the whole posse. And you get to do the planetarium thing. You like that," she reminded him.
"A cardboard rocket would burn up in space," Josh said to Luke.
"Depends on where it is. Without the sun, space is very cold," Luke said as he bent to check the chicken breasts cooking under the broiler.
The doorbell rang, and Josh pushed away from the counter as Lorelai stood. "I'll get it," he called as he rushed from the room.
"Well, hello, Joshua," Richard greeted him the moment Josh pulled the heavy front door open.
"Hi," Josh answered with a brilliant smile as he stepped back. "Hi, Mam."
"Hello, Josh," Emily said as Richard ushered her into the house. "Should you be answering the door?" she asked, glancing up to see Lorelai hovering in the hallway.
"He's too fast for me," Lorelai said as Richard helped Emily with her jacket.
"Dinner's almost ready," Josh called as he hurried back to the kitchen to resume his post.
"Lorelai, honestly, it's not safe for a child his age to answer the door," Emily said with a scowl of disapproval.
"Mom, we knew it was you," Lorelai replied as she hung their coats in the hall closet.
"Oh, you're clairvoyant now? It could have been anyone ringing your doorbell. We could have snatched that boy," Emily said impatiently.
"Well, I think I can beat you in a foot race, so I'm not worried about it," Lorelai retorted as she led them down the hallway.
"Of course you're not," Emily grumbled as Richard took her arm.
"Now, Emily," he said softly.
"I just think that it wouldn't hurt for Lorelai to be a little more cautious," she sniffed.
"Look who's here," Lorelai announced as she entered the kitchen, rolling her eyes at Luke as she made a beeline for the cabinet that held the liquor.
"Hello, Emily, Richard," Luke said as he stepped away from the stove and wiped his hands on a dishtowel before exchanging handshakes and air kisses.
"It smells wonderful in here," Emily said appreciatively.
"Rosemary," Josh answered proudly.
"You said it stinks," Luke reminded him as he ruffled the boy's hair.
Richard smiled as Carly wrapped her arms around his legs in a fierce hug. "Hello, Caroline," he said warmly.
"I drawed," she said as she released him. Carly reached for Emily's left hand and tried to pull her toward the table, but her face crumpled as her grandmother abruptly pulled her hand away, stumbling back into Richard.
Recovering quickly, Emily took Carly's fingers in her right hand. "I have a sore finger," she explained quickly.
"I drawed Duke," Carly said solemnly.
Emily smiled a warm apology. "Will you show it to me?"
Richard nudged Lorelai away from the counter, quickly assuming bartending duties. "Martini, Lorelai?"
"Just a small one," Lorelai said as she walked back to the table.
Richard set about preparing their cocktails as Luke tended the stove, shooing Josh back with his hand as he bent to turn the chicken. "So, Jacob, another big game last night," he commented.
"They were slow," Jake answered with a grin.
"Perhaps you are simply very fast," Richard suggested.
"They weren't very good," Josh said with a shrug.
"You'll have a tougher game next week," Luke reminded them.
"Who do you play next week?" Richard asked Josh, who simply shook his head in return.
When Richard looked at Luke he answered, "A team out of West Hartford. They had to expand their league; they had so many kids this year."
"Ah." Richard nodded as he poured shaken martinis into two glasses. He picked up the bottle of scotch and asked, "Water or ice?"
"I'm good with the beer," Luke answered as he nodded to the bottle next to the stove.
"I'll get you a fresh one," Richard said as he carried the martinis to the large kitchen table and placed one in front of each lady.
Luke eyed his nearly full beer warily, and then picked it up, downing most of the bottle in three large gulps.
"You look like a fish," Josh giggled.
"Yeah, well when your grandpa is around, he makes me drink like a fish," Luke muttered as he turned his attention to the rice cooker.
"Oh!" Lorelai exclaimed as she jumped up from the table.
"What's wrong?" Emily asked.
"Nothing. I just need to show you something," Lorelai explained as she hurried from the room. She returned a minute later holding a stuffed file folder. "They settled on a menu," she said as she pulled a sheet from the file and handed it to Emily.
Within seconds, the two women were engrossed in wedding preparation discussions and Richard had seated himself at the table between Jake and Carly.
"Can you carry this?" Luke asked as he handed Josh a bread basket.
"I think I can," Josh said with an impish grin as he made a great show of pretending to strain under the weight of the wicker basket.
"Funny guy," Luke commented as Josh stumbled toward the dining room. "I meant, can you carry it without dumping it everywhere?"
"I won't fumble, coach," Josh answered as he straightened up and carried the bread into the dining room.
When Josh reappeared, Luke handed him the butter dish and the salt and pepper shakers. "Danes hands off to Danes," Josh said in a deep, throaty announcer's voice.
"Danes is about to get tackled in the backfield," Luke answered as he faked a move toward Josh.
"And he runs for the touchdown," Josh crowed as he hightailed it into the dining room again.
"Go call the play," Luke said when Josh pranced back into the kitchen.
"Blue eleven! Hut, hut, dinner!" Josh called to the crowd assembled at the kitchen table and then dropped back two steps, bumping into the refrigerator.
Lorelai rolled her eyes as she closed the folder. "He could train your next maid," she whispered to Emily.
"He seems to be enjoying the football," Emily said as she slowly rose from her seat, making sure both legs would support her weight before taking a step.
"I think so," Lorelai said as Carly scooted past them in a rush to reach the dining room. "Of course, Josh has fun with everything."
"You don't think Jacob is enjoying it?" Emily asked as they made their way from the kitchen.
"Oh, I think he is too. Jake likes winning. I just think Josh is a little more into it than he is," Lorelai answered.
"Emily," Richard said as he pulled out the chair at her customary place.
"Thank you," Emily said as he helped push the chair closer for her. She smiled at Jake, who was seated at her right and asked, "Are you hungry?"
"Starved," he said, nodding his head emphatically.
"They're used to having dinner a little earlier," Lorelai said as she stepped back, allowing Luke to pass with a bowl of rice and another filled with green beans. "Need help?" she asked as he turned back to the kitchen.
"I've got it, you go ahead," he said, nodding to her chair.
Once they were all settled, Luke picked up the platter of chicken and offered it to Emily. They passed dishes back and forth, murmuring compliments for the chef and the kids gave thanks for the opportunity to eat at last.
The boys began to chatter like magpies, setting the course for the dinner conversation by extolling the virtues of the latest video game procured by one of the kids in their class. Luke leaned over, quickly and efficiently cutting Carly's chicken into tiny pieces and turning her plate so the green beans were closest to her. He smiled as she speared them enthusiastically with her fork. "That's my girl," he murmured as he sat back.
A quick glance at Emily revealed that she had yet to touch her food. "Is there something wrong?" he asked quietly.
"Oh, no," Emily said as she quickly picked up her fork and scooped up a few grains of rice. "Everything looks delicious."
"But Daddy won't let us get one," Josh was complaining to Richard.
"Those things rot your brain," Luke muttered as he picked up his knife and fork and set to work on his own chicken.
"Drew's brain isn't rotten," Jake argued.
"It's just tiny," Josh snickered.
"Josh," Lorelai warned.
"We wouldn't play it all the time," Jake pled.
"You would if you had one, so no," Luke answered firmly. He looked up and shot both Richard and Emily a quelling look. "And don't even think about getting it for them. It's not good for them to exercise only their thumbs."
"Oh, I completely agree," Richard told him.
"There have been extensive studies done," Emily concurred as she took a bite of her green beans. "These are delicious," she said as she dabbed her mouth with her napkin.
"Salt pork," Luke answered. When he met her puzzled gaze, he shrugged. "Steve Larson told me about it. Apparently people in the South slow cook their vegetables with it to give them more flavor."
"Yes, well, they are very good," Emily said dismissively as she turned her attention to her rice, patently ignoring the whole chicken breast on her plate.
"Is the chicken all right?" he asked the table in general.
"Great," Lorelai mumbled through stuffed cheeks.
"Want some?" Carly asked, plucking a piece of chicken from her plate and offering it to him.
Luke gently lowered her hand. "You eat it, I have my own."
"Then why'd you ask?" Jake asked, perplexed.
"I just wanted to know if you all liked it."
"You all. Y'all," Josh snickered.
Lorelai's eyebrows shot up, and Luke rolled his eyes. "You guys," he grumbled.
"So, this Steve Larson," Richard began as he lifted his water glass. "He hasn't caused you any trouble?" he asked Lorelai.
"Why? Are you gonna put a contract out on him if he does?" Lorelai quipped.
"I was simply asking, Lorelai," he replied mildly.
Lorelai toyed with her rice. "He seems nice," she answered noncommittally.
"I was thinking about your plans to expand your base of business," Richard said, clasping his hands over his plate.
"Oh?"
"I know that your mother has been helping with ideas and suggestions for the more, uh, feminine activities, teas, brunches, etcetera," he said with a wave of his hand.
"You hear what he said? Tea drinkers are girly," Lorelai said as she flashed Luke a teasing smile.
Luke rolled his eyes and Richard shook his head. "I was simply saying that those kinds of events appeal more to the ladies," Richard said quickly. "I was wondering if you had given any consideration to catering to the gentlemen's clubs too."
"Gentlemen's clubs? Like bring in strippers?" Lorelai asked with a startled laugh.
"Really, Lorelai," Emily said, blowing out an exasperated breath.
"Cigar clubs, wine clubs, perhaps other hobby enthusiasts," Richard said dryly.
"I hadn't thought about that. I'm not sure about the cigar clubs, that could get a little smelly," she murmured as she turned the idea over in her mind.
"Perhaps not. But, these are typically smaller gatherings, much like your mother's garden club," Richard explained.
Out of the corner of his eye, Luke spied Emily casually shifting her fork to her left hand, gripping it loosely as she pressed it to the chicken breast as picked up her knife.
"There are clubs that host monthly wine dinners at various restaurants. Usually sponsored by a particular winery I suppose," Richard mused as he picked up his utensils once again. "The chef prepares a menu that fits the wines they wish to showcase."
"That's an idea," Lorelai said slowly.
A sudden movement caught Luke's attention, and he spotted Emily frowning in concentration as she struggled to hold her chicken steady enough to cut into it.
"It would highlight Sookie's extraordinary abilities and possibly improve your restaurant business. We will make some inquiries," Richard said with a nod. "Emily, what is the name of that twitchy little man who handles the wines donated for the charity functions?" he asked as he turned his attention to his wife.
Emily quickly abandoned her attempts to cut the chicken, placing the knife gently on the edge over her plate as she looked up. "Arnold Meeks?" she asked.
"That's the one. We'll contact him," Richard said as he turned his attention back to Lorelai. "He works for Connecticut Distributors. I'm sure he could be helpful in pointing us in the right direction."
"Arnold Meeks is not twitchy," Emily said defensively.
"All of the committeewomen love him," Richard said with a shudder. "He is twitchy, the most nervous little man I have ever met."
"Maybe he's nervous because all the committeewomen love him and he's scared of their big, strong husbands," Lorelai suggested.
"Perhaps that's it," Richard murmured with a smug smile.
Luke watched as Emily lowered her left hand to her lap and stabbed desultorily at a green bean, and then finally the lightbulb came on in his head. Grimacing slightly, he sat back in his seat, gnawing the inside of his cheek as he watched Carly systematically working her way through her meal.
He pushed his chair back slightly and reached for Emily's plate as he stood up, starling everyone. "Let me just warm this up for you," he said, and then disappeared from the room before she could protest.
Lorelai's head whipped around as he disappeared into the kitchen. "Um, does anyone need anything?" she asked.
"Can I have some ranch?" Josh asked.
"Ranch?"
"For the chicken."
"Oh. Uh, sure," Lorelai said as she pushed away from the table. "Mom? Dad? Anything? No? Okay, be right back," she said as she hurried toward the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" she hissed as she found Luke cutting Emily's chicken breast into pieces.
"I'm an idiot."
"I'm confused. Why did you take my mother's plate away? Was she playing with her food?"
"She can't cut it," he whispered urgently.
"What?"
"She can't grip the fork well enough. That's why we ate pasta last week," Luke hissed as he yanked open the door to the microwave.
"Oh," Lorelai breathed, her eyes widening.
"I'm an idiot. I should have thought, I didn't think," he muttered.
"Okay, well, um, we can cover this," Lorelai said as she hurried to the refrigerator. She plucked a bottle of ranch dressing from the door and whispered, "Be right back," as she ducked back into the dining room.
"I wasn't going to say anything, but my chicken is a little cold too. I think I'll heat it up," she said as she plunked the bottle of dressing down in front of Josh and grabbed her plate. "Dad? How's yours?"
"Mine's perfectly fine, Lorelai," Richard said with a bewildered frown.
Luke reappeared holding Emily's plate. "I hope you don't mind, that microwave doesn't heat evenly, so I cut your chicken up a little bit," he said as he set the plate in front of her.
"Thank you, Luke," Emily said as she glanced up at him uncertainly.
"How about yours, Babe? Mine's a little cold, but Dad said his was fine. I thought I'd warm mine too," she said pointedly.
"Um, mine is fine," Luke said as he sat down again. "Sorry about that. Uh, I must have taken those two out first," he said as he placed his napkin in his lap once more.
When Lorelai returned a minute later with her chicken cut to pieces, Luke exhaled softly and turned his attention back to his now cold meal.
"Here, let me help with that," Lorelai said as she set her plate down and helped Josh pour a shallow pool of dressing onto the edge of his plate before taking her seat again.
"Is that good?" Richard asked Josh.
"Mm hmm," Josh hummed as he nodded, dragging a chunk of chicken through the dressing.
"Better with chicken fingers," Jake piped up.
"It's really good with chicken fingers," Josh agreed.
"Josh will eat most anything if he can dip it in ranch," Lorelai said indulgently.
"Lorelai, you really should teach them to eat their meals as they are prepared, that way they will not embarrass you or themselves in social situations," Emily admonished as she attacked her meal with gusto.
"Well, we aren't in a social situation, we're having a family dinner at home," Lorelai answered tartly. "And because we are at home, in our home; our children can have ranch dressing if it means they'll eat all of their chicken."
"So, I'm going to see the Red Sox's last home game of the season," Luke blurted, anxious to diffuse the tension in the room.
****
"Hello?"
"Oh my God, is it really you? Is this really Rory Gilmore?" Lorelai gushed into the phone.
"Rory Gilmore Mariano," Rory corrected.
"Whatever. Is this my first born, the fruit of my loins, the child that I fed and nurtured to adulthood only to find that, tragically, she is unable to dial a telephone?"
"Hi, Mom."
"Hey, Kid. It's good to hear your voice," Lorelai said as she plopped down on the couch.
"I miss you too," Rory said quietly.
"Do you? Sometimes it doesn't feel like it," Lorelai sulked as she handed Carly the G.I. Joe doll that had been suffocating between the couch cushions.
"I've just been really busy. I'll try to call more," she promised.
"Really? 'Cause that's what you said last week, no wait, the week before, when we talked. Are you dumping me for your new country club friends?"
"Ha ha," Rory muttered.
"So, what's new?"
Rory hesitated for a second and then said, "Not much. What's new there?"
"Oh, nothing much new. Your grandparents came to dinner last night. Your grandmother was in rare form."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, it was weird. Like a flashback to 2002," Lorelai complained.
"How so? Were you wearing your Uggs?"
"No, but I should have, it was that chilly in here."
"What happened?"
"I have no idea. All I know is that from the moment she walked in the door she was attacking me."
"Attacking you?"
"Yeah. Correcting me, correcting the kids, judging me, finding me wanting, slapping me to a life sentence with her as my mother," Lorelai said with a dramatic sigh.
"Wow. I thought things were better with you guys."
"I thought so too." Lorelai frowned as she tipped her head back and looked at the ceiling. "It's like, I asked her for help with one thing, and now she wants to tell me how to do everything because I obviously don't know anything."
"Aw, Mom, that sucks."
"It does suck." Lorelai gave a gusty sigh as she fell over, sliding down to stretch out on the couch, and pointedly looking up at the ceiling rather than at the complete disarray on the floor.
"What did Luke say?"
"Luke? He was too worried about her breast," Lorelai said dismissively.
"Huh?"
Lorelai giggled into the phone as she twirled her hair around her finger. "That came out wrong, but somehow much funnier."
"Or more disturbing," Rory suggested.
"He made chicken breasts for dinner. Neither of us thought, but Luke noticed that your grandmother was having a hard time cutting it."
"Oh."
"Yeah, so he was freaking out a little bit because he didn't want to embarrass her."
"Poor Luke. What did you do?"
"He said something about warming her food, and snatched the plate right out from under her."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Then he cut the chicken up, put it in the microwave for a few seconds and claimed that the microwave didn't heat stuff very good so he cut it up."
"He thinks on is feet, that Luke," Rory said, clearly impressed.
"Yeah, so I nuked mine too, even though it was fine, and the next thing I know, she's all over me for letting Josh have some ranch dressing," Lorelai said bitterly.
"Well, the boy does like his ranch," Rory said affectionately.
"That he does."
"Maybe she just wasn't feeling well or something."
"Maybe," Lorelai said doubtfully. "Anyway, that's the big news from the Hollow. How are things in Philly? Did you discover that Jess has a brother for you to love?"
"Hmm, no brothers," Rory said sadly.
"Too bad. Oh my god! You should see this trashy book that Sookie gave me. Talk about some brotherly love!"
"What?"
"Sookie has been reading these really graphic books, and by graphic I don't mean cartoons," Lorelai told her.
"Why?"
"I think she's addicted to smut," she said gravely.
"So sad. Is there a program for that?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'll call David Duchovny and ask."
"Because he would know," Rory agreed.
"Anyway, in this book there were these twin brothers who shared everything, and I mean eve-ry-thing," Lorelai said slowly.
"Ew."
"Really ew."
"Why did you read it?"
"I couldn't put it down! It was like a giant train wreck. I had to keep it locked in my desk drawer and read it at work, because the cover was just way too embarrassing to take out in public."
"Nice."
"I had to shower twice after I finished it. I did resist the urge to burn it, though. That just seemed too fascist, so I gave it back to Sookie."
"Good girl."
"Bad. Bad girls read those books," Lorelai said with a grin. "I have another one in my desk drawer for Monday."
"I may have to separate you two," Rory mumbled.
"So?"
"So, what?"
"So, what's new?"
"Nothing, really. Work. Jess finished his revisions, so he's been working more in the press room at Truncheon. Uh, updated my resume," she hedged.
"Oh?"
"Well, you know, there've been all sorts of changes going on here, so I'm just seeing what's out there."
"Good idea," Lorelai said cautiously. "You know, with this trust coming due you could just change altogether. Freelance or something."
"I've thought about that," Rory said slowly.
"And?"
"I'm not sure it's for me. You know how I am; I like to know what's next."
"True."
There was a long pause, and then Rory asked, "So, how are the peanuts?"
"They're nuts," Lorelai answered, smiling as Carly tried to shove G. I. Joe's feet into Barbie's retro go-go boots.
"Football is going well?"
"They are undefeated," she reported. "I wish you could see them, it's hysterical. Luke dug the camcorder out of the closet, so we got some video of the game Thursday night."
"Jess showed me the pictures that Luke emailed. Isn't he the proud papa?"
"Oh yeah," Lorelai said with a laugh. "After the second game, he decided that his sons were fielddown scoring machines and went digging for the camera."
"They are, huh?"
"Yep. Plus Luke also overheard Taylor telling someone that he was going to sell his DVDs of the home games for twenty bucks apiece. That's when he dug deeper and pulled out the video camera."
"Wow, twenty bucks."
"All proceeds going to the bridge fund, of course."
"Of course," Rory agreed with a chuckle. "And, I think it's 'touchdown' in football."
"Does it really matter what I call it as long as points go up on the board and Luke gets that goofy grin on his face?"
"Probably not. He does like his sports."
"Oh, speaking of sports, get this. Next weekend Luke is going to Boston to see a Red Sox game with…" she paused for dramatic effect.
"With?" Rory asked, playing along with her mother's favorite game.
"Steve Larson."
"Steve Larson? The guy who bought the inn, Steve Larson?"
"The one and only."
"What? How? Why?"
"Well, apparently Slick Stevie is not only nefarious, he is also insidious and he has seduced my husband with the irresistible allure of baseball tickets."
"Luke wants to go to the game with him?" Rory asked, shocked.
"He does. And the worst part is that I don't think Luke is just using him to go to the ballgame, I think he really likes the guy."
"No," Rory gasped.
"I know! How dare he, right?"
"Are you upset?" Rory asked quietly.
Lorelai blinked up at the ceiling and began to shake her head even before she answered. "No, not really. I just like to complain about it."
"Is it weird?"
"Weird that Luke is becoming friends with my biggest competitor?"
"Or weird that Luke is becoming friends with someone who isn't you," Rory said astutely.
"A little?" Lorelai answered with a slight grimace. "I mean, a part of me is like, 'Cool! Go do man things with your man friend,' you know?"
"Yeah."
"But the other part of me is wondering what it is that he needs that I can't give him. I mean, I watch SportsCenter. What more could he need?"
"I don't think it's that so much," Rory said sincerely.
"I hope not. I mean, Steve's nice looking, but if Luke's going to have his needs fulfilled by someone else, I would prefer it to be a woman. I'm old fashioned that way," she tired to joke.
"Yes, you are."
"I guess I should just let him have his little chippie on the side and look the other way in order to preserve the peace in our happy home."
"Have you been watching Mad Men again?" Rory asked.
"What? Why?"
"Because whenever you watch that show you start thinking that the minute he's out of your sight he's pounding the hooch, smoking Lucky Strikes and sleeping with his secretary."
"Isn't that what all men do?" Lorelai asked innocently.
"Stop watching Mad Men, it's eroding your confidence and making you paranoid. Soon you'll start popping pills and introducing yourself to people as Mrs. Luke Danes," Rory said firmly.
"But the clothes are so cute."
"Mom."
"I look great in pedal pushers and you should have seen the up-do Betty was rocking last week."
"You'll have to dump Sookie and get a friend named Francine."
"Ugh, Francine annoys me. Fine, I won't watch anymore."
"So, he's going next weekend?"
"Yep."
"Are you okay with that?"
"I am, really," Lorelai sighed. "I suppose I should get to know this guy."
"Probably not a bad idea."
"I mean, it's a baseball game, right? How much action can a guy get at a baseball game?"
"You forget that we got hit on at that game we took Luke to before we left for Europe," Rory said with a laugh.
"Not helping."
"Sorry, Betty.
"You're Francine, aren't you?"
"Are they playing the Yankees?" Rory asked, sounding a little wistful.
"Cleveland."
"What?" Rory asked in a stunned tone.
"Whatever the team from Cleveland is called," Lorelai said dismissively. Then she smiled distractedly as Carly held up her soldier boy dressed in drag for inspection. "Very nice," she whispered.
"Oh."
There was another long pause, and then Lorelai asked, "Wanna talk to Carly?"
"Sure."
"Here, it's Rory," Lorelai said as she held the phone away from her ear.
Carly scrambled to her feet and ran for the couch, grasping the phone and babbling into it a mile a minute. When she had said all she needed to say, she handed the phone back to Lorelai and quickly moved on to a set of Legos that the boys had left out that morning.
"You get any of that?" Lorelai asked Rory.
"Not a word. Wait, I heard Duke," she corrected herself with a laugh.
"The usual topic. I keep waiting for Luke to break down and bring the cat home."
"He seems to be standing firm."
"Only because Mrs. Desmond told the boys that her daughter's yellow lab had puppies two weeks ago."
"Are you getting one?"
"Luke says no, but there are still four more weeks until the puppies are ready to be away from their mama. Anything can happen," Lorelai said with a smile.
Rory sighed and said, "I should go. I have a million errands to run, and the dry cleaners close at four on Saturdays."
"Oh, okay."
"But I'll call later this week," Rory promised.
"I'll be here, resting on my fainting couch, waiting for someone to notice me while my housekeeper takes care of the kids," Lorelai answered.
"Bye, Mom."
"Bye, Kid."
****
Jess walked out of the kitchen to find Rory sitting on the couch with her cell phone in her hand, staring at the portfolio she had carried onto her flight to Cleveland two days before.
"You didn't tell her?" he asked.
"Nothing to tell."
"Yet. It's been a few weeks; don't you think that you should tell her?"
"There may not be anything to tell at all," Rory said defensively.
"You know that your mom doesn't deal with surprises well. At least, not surprises that don't involve presents and a cake and people singing her name."
"I don't want to get her all upset if it turns out to be nothing."
"And if it turns out to be something? You are going to tell her before we up and move to Ohio, right?"
"I'll tell her when I tell her," Rory snapped.
Jess nodded once. "Fine. I'm going out," he called as he headed for the front door, snatching his coat from the rack inside the door.
"Jess," Rory called after him.
Jess turned as he shrugged into the jacket. "Listen, I get that you don't want to deal with upsetting her, and I get that you want to do what you think you need to do without tying yourself to Stars Hollow. I get that, but this is my family too, Rory, and my life," he said as he yanked open the door.
"Jess."
"No! If you don't talk to Lorelai, then Luke hears it; or doesn't hear it, which is just as bad or worse. Then I hear it. I hear it from you and from him and probably eventually from her. Maybe even your grandparents. I'm in the middle, Rory. I'm stuck in the middle," he told her and let the door slam behind him.
****
"Hey. Is this where the cool kids hang out?" Steve called from the end of the alley.
Luke and the boys looked up from where they squatted near the converted dog house. "Hey," Luke answered with a nod.
"What are you doing?"
"Stupid cat," Luke grumbled as he stood up, leaving the boys to wave their coffee filters filled with tuna salad at the entrance of the house. "First she wouldn't go in the darn thing, now we can't get her out."
"Why do you need her to come out?" Steve asked with a puzzled glance at the boys.
"I need her to come out because I have two boys who won't shut up about the cat not coming out," Luke grumbled.
"I think she's sick," Jake said worriedly.
"Stupid cat probably ate the sushi from Taylor's dumpster," Luke answered.
"I think we should take her to the doctor," Josh told him.
"I am not taking that cat to the vet one more time. She's already cost me over four hundred dollars," Luke growled, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Let me see her," Steve said as he squatted down next the plastic house.
The boys moved aside as Steve reached into the opening. "Watch it, she's a scratcher," Luke warned.
"Come on," Steve said under his breath as he carefully pulled Duke from the house. He held her to his chest and carefully dislodged one of her claws from the back of his hand. "Now, don't be like that," he murmured as he stroked her fur. After a moment, he held the cat away from him to look at her. "Are you on the nest?"
"Not without a miracle," Luke answered gruffly. When Steve looked up, he shrugged and said, "Part of the four hundred bucks."
"I think she's just having a good sulk," Steve told the twins as he cradled the cat to his chest again, stroking her fur gently.
"Sulk?" Jake asked.
"She's poutin' a bit. Wants some attention, but doesn't want to ask for it. Typical woman," he added with a smile.
"We feed her every day," Luke said defensively.
"She wants some lovin'."
"Then she should have picked another sucker," Luke stated flatly.
"Aw, poor Duke," Josh said as he squatted next to Steve and reached out to pet the cat.
"Poor Duke," Jake echoed as he rubbed between her ears.
"Tell you what, I'm all alone in that apartment. Maybe Duke can come home with me tonight," Steve said as he glanced up at Luke. "Give me someone to talk to other than myself. I'm starting to answer back." When the boys laughed, he smiled and said, "What's worse, I caught myself sassin' myself."
Luke chuckled. "Man, that is sad."
"Pathetic," Steve said as he stood up. "Would you tell Miss Carly that her kitty cat is stayin' with me for the night?" he asked the boys.
"Taylor has a strict no pets policy," Luke warned him.
Steve grinned and said, "That's just a bonus, now isn't it?"
Luke looked down at the boys and said, "Go toss that tuna out. I'll get him some more to take with him."
The moment the boys scampered through the back door, he turned to Steve and asked, "Sulk?"
"Where's the vet?" he asked in a low voice.
"You think she's sick?"
"I'll get her checked out," Steve said with a careless shrug. "I just didn't want them to fret."
"He's on Spruce just off the square, second house on the right. Painted blue and has a dog shaped mailbox, you can't miss it. Tell him she's the same cat I brought in and to bill me. There ought to be a warranty or something for the prices he charges," he muttered as he scuffed the toe of his boot.
"I've got her," Steve said as he turned to leave.
"Hey," Luke called after him.
"Yeah?"
"You wanna come by the house for dinner one night?"
"I'm really that pathetic?" Steve asked with a laugh.
Luke shook his head and then shrugged. "I just, you're around a lot, and the thing with you and Lorelai and the inns," he said uncomfortably. "If you don't mind a house overrun with kids, we can have Sookie and Jackson over too. You can get to know some people."
Grinning, Steve rocked back on his heels and stroked Duke's head. "Well, now, Luke, that's right neighborly of you," he said in an exaggerated drawl.
"Forget it," Luke said as he stomped toward the diner.
"And they say Yankees aren't friendly," he laughed.
"Piss off," Luke grumbled.
Steve guffawed. "I can't come by tonight, as I'll be entertainin' a lady. You know how that is," he said as he glanced down at the cat in his arms.
"She's about your speed."
"I've always been quite fond of a nice pussy." When Luke shot him a dark glare, Steve laughed again. "Cat. What were you thinking?"
"You want some tuna salad to take with you?" Luke asked, hooking a thumb toward the diner.
"Nah, I can spring for a can of Fancy Feast. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll rub my leg."
"Okay." Luke reached for the heavy steel door and began to pull it closed. "Oh, and thanks," he added as he nodded to the cat.
"Well if there is one thing that would surely break my heart, it would be to see that little girl cry."
"You and me both."
"We're still on for next weekend?"
"Barring any emergencies, yes."
"Grease fire? Someone shoves a french fry up their nose?"
"Uh, wife, kids, house, business," Luke answered pointedly.
"Tell Lorelai I said thanks for lettin' you come out to play."
"Tell her yourself," Luke muttered as he pulled the door shut behind him.
"What do you say, Miss Duke? Are you feelin' a mite peaked? Should we go see the doctor?" Steve asked softly as he carried the cat out of the alley.
****
"Hello?" Lorelai said, slightly breathless after her sprint down the hall to catch the phone.
"Lorelai?" Steve asked.
"Yes," she answered, tugging her wet top away from her skin as she tried to place the voice.
"Steve Larson."
"Oh. Hi Steve," she said, her head popping up. "Uh, how are you?" she asked, trying to inject a little friendliness into her tone.
"I'm well, thanks. And you?"
"Good. I'm good. Just clubbed the kids over the head, and they're passed out, so yeah, I'm good. Um, Luke's out in the garage," she babbled.
"Is he in trouble?"
Lorelai laughed. "No. He bought one of those bouncy net things that you throw a ball at and it comes back at you."
"I see. Quarterback drills?"
"Something like that. I think it works for baseball too."
"Probably. Well, listen I just wanted to let y'all know that Duke is fine. The vet said she probably just ate something that didn't agree with her," he reported.
"Uh, okay."
"She seems to be much better and at this very moment she is clawing the everlivin' crap out of the ugly throw pillows that came with my uncomfortable couch. Stop that," he whispered to the cat.
"Duke was sick?"
"Didn't Luke and the boys tell you?"
"They said she was lonely and you took her home for the night."
"I ran her by the vet's first."
"I see."
"Did Luke mention that he invited me over for dinner?" he asked cautiously. When she didn't answer, he sighed. "Listen, Lorelai, I don't wanna cause any trouble."
"It's no trouble, Luke does the cooking anyway, so if he wants to invite someone over, that's fine," she said too quickly.
"I meant in general," Steve said bluntly. "I know it's weird with the business thing, and I know that you don't really see it working the way that I do, but I'll prove it to you," he said in a rush. "I really don't want you to see me as the enemy. I like Luke, and I think I'll probably like you too. It's just, he's one of the few people in this town that seems almost…" he trailed off.
"Normal?" she supplied.
"Yeah."
"He's not, you know. He's as big of a weirdo as the rest of us, he just doesn't know it."
"I suspected as much." Steve took a deep breath and said, "Give me a chance. You might like me. I'm a pretty likeable guy."
"I'm sure you are," she said quietly. "Luke is a good judge of character."
"He must be, he snagged you," he said smoothly.
Lorelai snorted softly. "Nice one."
"Thank you."
There was a slight pause, and then Lorelai said, "I heard you ate a monte cristo."
"I did, and lived to tell the tale."
"How was it?"
"How was the deep fried ham and cheese goodness?" he asked archly.
"That good, huh?"
"You've never had one?"
"Each time I say I want to order it, Luke glares at me and brings me a turkey on wheat with mustard and no mayo."
"Cruel!"
"What can I say, the guy's crazy about me," she answered with a touch of her usual sass.
"One day, I'll smuggle one out for you."
"Bribing me with deep fried sandwiches, very clever."
"I am crafty. Are you amenable to bribes?"
"Highly. How do you feel about pizza?"
"Other than my deep and abiding love for anything smothered in piles of cheese? I feel pretty good about it."
"Sometimes we have pizza on Sunday nights. Pretty early because it's a school night," she said tentatively.
"Sounds good."
"So, we could order extra, if you wanted to come by tomorrow."
"That would be nice."
"Where do you fall, carnivore or herbivore?"
"Omnivore."
"Really? You swing both ways?"
"Only with pizza," he answered quickly.
"So, I don't have to worry about excessive butt patting at this baseball game?"
"He's not my type. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"No, of course not," Lorelai answered quickly.
Steve laughed. "You're a Seinfeld fan too?"
"Sure. I like obnoxious people who talk about nothing."
"Luke caught on right away. At first I think he thought I was hitting on him. I was really relieved when he Costanzaed me."
"He did? Luke Costanzaed you?"
"The 'No, of course not,' bit."
"He did a bit?"
"He doesn't do bits?"
Lorelai snorted. "Please, the man is hopeless unless I tutor him. He just happened to like that episode."
"He doesn't like the Soup Nazi? J. Peterman?"
"He likes it; he just doesn't do the whole pop culture thing."
"Wow. Now I feel like he's led me on. Maybe I don't really want to be friends with Luke, maybe I need to be friends with you."
"We're kind of a package deal."
"Good, because I'm pretty sure that if I tried to hang out with you, he's beat me into a bloody pulp. As a matter of fact, he told me he would."
Lorelai heard the back door close and started for the bedroom door. "I can't believe he did a bit with you, he never does bits with me."
"Uh oh. Now I got him in trouble, didn't I?"
"No," she said too quickly.
"I'm sorry. There was no bit, I swear. Please let Luke come out to play next week," Steve begged as she started down the stairs.
"I'm not his keeper," Lorelai grumbled.
"You're his wife, of course you're his keeper," Steve laughed.
"Luke?" she called, not moving the away from her mouth.
"Agh," Steve groaned.
"Luke, your boyfriend's on the phone," she called again as she stepped off of the bottom stair.
"What?" Luke asked, as he walked out of the kitchen wiping his hands on a towel.
"Your lover. Not that there's anything wrong with that," she added as she handed the phone over to him.
"Hello?" Luke asked in a befuddled tone.
"Man, I think I just got you so grounded," Steve moaned.
When Luke's wide blue eyes flew to hers and she shrugged as she leaned against the banister. "Tell him if he's coming for pizza tomorrow night I expect to see some boy on boy action," she whispered.
"What did you tell her?" Luke demanded.
"I didn't tell her anything. I just said we were doing the Seinfeld bit," Steve said defensively.
"You were doing the Seinfeld bit, you," Luke corrected.
"You Costanzaed him," Lorelai said with a pointed look.
"You Costanzaed me," Steve insisted.
"What the hell are you trying to do to me?" Luke asked Steve.
"The cat's fine, my pillows are in shreds, coming over for pizza tomorrow, gotta go," Steve said in one breath before hanging up.
"I didn't do a bit," Luke said pleadingly as he lowered the phone.
****
"Hey. Come on in," Lorelai said as she stepped back from the door.
"Thanks. These are for you," Steve said as he held out a bouquet of mums.
"Ooh, I love it when people suck up to me," she said as she took them.
"I heard that you were amenable to bribery. My mama also taught me that it's rude to show up empty handed," he said as he held up a twelve pack of beer.
"Your mama raised you right." Lorelai closed the door behind him and said, "We're back here."
"This is a beautiful old house."
"Thanks. Luke and some of the other guys around town did most of the work. It's a little worn now, but it's hard to work up the energy to redecorate when you're being run ragged by rugrats," she said as Carly barreled into her legs. "Right, rat from the rug?"
"Noda rat," Carly said softly as she peeked around Lorelai's legs at Steve.
"Should we let him in?" Lorelai asked as she smoothed her hand over Carly's wild curls.
Carly nodded and stepped back, pulling Lorelai into the kitchen.
"Hey," Luke said as he stood up from the table.
"Hi. I brought you a present too," Steve said as he held up the beer.
"Thanks. You didn't need to do that," Luke said as he relieved Steve of his burden.
"His mama says he does," Lorelai told him.
"That and I get to have one or two," Steve said with a grin.
"I have some cold," Luke told him as he went to the fridge.
"Are you hiding?" Lorelai asked Carly as the little girl rubbed her cheek against Lorelai's jeans.
"I'm not sure if she's scared of me or if she's flirting with me."
"Women often react to you that way?" Lorelai asked.
"Usually they're just scared. There's something about a telephoto lens that makes them nervous," he said easily.
"We're just finishing up some math that we've been avoiding all weekend," Luke said as he nodded to the boys. "Have a seat. Pizzas should be here soon."
"Math? Math is cool," Steve said as he accepted the cold beer Luke handed to him and moved to the table.
"Not cool," Jake grumbled.
"Sure it is. Math helps you do all sorts of things," Steve said as he took a seat at the table. "Run a diner or an inn, fly to the moon…"
"Become an actuary," Lorelai chimed in. The doorbell rang. "I'll get it."
Moments later Davy and Martha ran into the kitchen followed by Lorelai, Sookie and Jackson. "Sookie brought dessert," Lorelai called happily.
"Hello, hello, hello," Sookie said as they walked into the room.
"Hey. You guys know Steve," he said with a nod.
"We do," Sookie replied with a dimpled smile as Carly and Martha streaked past them toward the living room. She arranged the trays of desserts on the counter and then busied herself rummaging through cabinets and drawers to collect plates and utensils.
"How's it going?" Jackson asked Steve as he helped himself to a beer.
"Good, thanks. Nice to see you again."
"Hey, Luke, you need to check out the greenhouse. I've got a bumper crop of tomatoes coming in," Jackson said with a nod.
"Good. Let me know when they come in, I haven't been able to get any decent tomatoes," Luke said with a nod. He tapped the paper in front of Jake and murmured, "Just one more."
"Luke, where are you hiding your tongs?" Sookie asked.
"In his pants," Lorelai murmured and then snickered to herself as Luke shot her a look.
"In the drawer," he answered.
"I looked in the drawer but they weren't there," she complained.
"Look again."
"Looking again," she sang out as she dug through the drawer in the island.
"Carry the one," Steve whispered to Josh.
"I've got it," Josh said as he shielded his paper with his skinny body.
"Got 'em," Sookie called.
"Sorry," Steve said sheepishly.
"They're very law abiding when it comes to school stuff," Lorelai explained.
"Hurry up," Davy said as he hung on the back of Jake's chair.
"Leave me alone," Jake muttered.
"Take your time, buddy," Jackson said as he patted Jake's shoulder. "Go see what the girls are doing," he told Davy.
"But…"
"Go. They'll be done in a few minutes," he said as he pried Davy from the chair and steered him from the room. "I'm putting a movie in."
"Knock yourself out," Lorelai said as she slipped into the chair next to Jake. She watched as Jake frowned at his paper. "Done?" she asked gently.
"Uh huh," he said as he slid the paper over to his mother.
"Done!" Josh said proudly, handing the sheet to Luke.
She scanned it quickly, nodding as she checked Jake's answers. "Put your name up here," she said as she pointed to the line at the top. "Neatly," she whispered as he began to print. "Good. Put it in your folder and you're free," she said as she kissed his temple.
Jake slid out of his chair and ran from the room, the worksheet fluttering at his side.
"Go," Luke said as he handed the paper back to Josh.
"Byeee," Josh cried as he ran from the room.
"They're gone, wanna have dessert first?" Sookie asked in a hushed whisper.
"Yes," Lorelai said as she sprang from her chair.
"Pizzas will be here soon," Luke reminded them.
"We'll be quick," Lorelai promised as she plucked a caramel fudge brownie from a tray, quickly rearranging the others to hide the evidence.
"Dessert first?" Jackson asked as he walked back into the room.
"Hurry," Sookie urged as she waved him over.
Steve looked over at Luke curiously, and then grinned as Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm in," he said as he stood up to join them at the counter.
"I'll go keep a lookout for the kids," Luke said wryly as he walked toward the kitchen door.
"Always good to have a point man," Lorelai said as she slid the tray closer to Steve.
Steve grabbed a mini cheesecake from the tray and bit into it, trying to ignore Luke's patented smirk as he groaned ecstatically. "Leave him, marry me," he said to Sookie.
"Hey!" Jackson objected.
Lorelai snorted. "Good luck with that, these two were made for each other."
"Fine. A torrid affair. I want to have a torrid affair with your baked goods," Steve said as he chewed appreciatively.
"I'm still standing here," Jackson reminded him.
"With them," Steve said as he pointed to the trays.
Sookie giggled as she picked up a brownie and waved it in front of his face. "So, Steve, what's your story?"
Steve followed the brownie with his eyes as he leaned on the counter. "Ah, now, Miz Belleville, that's a story so sad I'd need much more than one brownie and definitely another beer," he said with a wistful sigh.
