Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

A/n1: So! The World Cup's going on! Football/soccer everywhere, and in my case, I also see ORANGE. EVERYWHERE. MY EYES, THEY BLEED AND WEEP.
It's our national color, bizarre enough – we have a very plain flag, red-white-blue – but thanks to our nation's history, background and royal family (don't worry, I won't be boring you with it), orange is considered "our" color as well.
Anyway, yesterday, the Netherlands had to play against Spain. It was pretty much like David versus Goliath, really – the Dutch team isn't as good as it was, four years ago.
OR. SO. WE. THOUGHT.
The Dutch won with 1-5.
They totally creamed the Spanish team, and they even did it with STYLE.
Pfffffrt. God.
Maybe I'll be putting on some horrible orange shirt in the end anyway! 8DDDDDDD

A/n2: By the way, we all know that funny faxlore that Hetalia liked to play with, right: in Heaven, the British are policemen, the cooks are French, the lovers are Italian and yadayada?
Well, I'm currently reading a book about Europe in which the writer describes the European Heaven like this:
In the European Heaven, the theatre and humor is British, the philosophy is German/Greek, the poetry is Russian, the kitchen is French (yep, he kept that one), the literature is Irish and Middle-European, the furniture is Scandinavian, the comics are from Belgium, the paintings are from the Netherlands, the classical music is Austrian, the football/soccer is Spanish and the fashion is Italian.
Cue me instantly picturing all the Hetalia-characters doing all these kind of stupid things, like Sweden very seriously sitting on a simplistic chair, the Netherlands stoically staring at a Van Gogh and England doing stand-up comedy. XDDDDDDD
The book is literally called "Made in Europe" and I'd like to recommend it to everybody who'd want to know more about this silly continent we call Europe.^^
Sadly enough, the book's author is Dutch, so unless it's going to be a huge bestseller, you probably won't be able to read it.
You can always learn Dutch, though! 8DDDDDDDD *shot*

~~ And Three Makes Five ~~

Chapter 54:

To lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
Oscar Wilde
(Irish writer and poet)

'The kids are mortal, Lovi.'

Feliciano looked at me earnestly before continuing.

'They were originally created to take in our place as personifications, so that the Leaders of the North American and the European continent finally could get rid of us – the weakened, less healthy, damaged original personifications. And if that would have succeeded – if our children really had become personifications – well, then the Leaders would probably have killed us off in secrecy. Like unwanted flies.'

My heart. Oh god – my heart. It skipped so many beats I was afraid it might had forgotten how to beat.

This was such a horrible start of an equally terrible theory that I actually just wanted to stick my head in some sand and hope he'd get the hint.

But as for now, Feliciano took no hint, not even if I begged him for it, and mercilessly kept explaining his theory – in that god-awful, completely normal voice of his.

'But you know what, the experiment, executed by England – who for some twisted reason wanted to help the Leaders achieve this despicable goal – failed, since you can't create immortal beings from immortal beings that were never meant to reproduce, and the kids turned out to be human. Mortal, simple human beings, that will just die someday, when the time has come. Useless creatures to the Leaders – or not?'

'What do you mean,' I managed to say, while the chills crept up on my spine.

'Well… think about it. No matter how curious the humans are about us, they can't go perform dangerous experiments on us, since we're connected to the country we're representing. They know that. They are also aware they need to take good care of us. Because if an experiment would go wrong, who knows what could happen to a country?'

Feliciano looked at me, as if he thought I was going to say something. But I wasn't.

'But a mere child, made out of the precious DNA of one or more personifications, having partly inherited the looks, personality and multiple talents and qualities from their parent or parents but not their connection to the nation… that's just great! They could unleash their questionable experiments and tests on the kids instead! Without hurting their nations! Who knows – maybe they'd even get the results they had always wanted to get!'

'That's bullshit,' I heard myself croak out. 'If… if it's true what you're saying, then they'd still hurt us – they'd mentally and emotionally hurt us! We'd end up even more broken than we already are! What good would that bring to the nation, dammit?'

Feliciano didn't listen and mused on – aloud, of course.

'Of course they wouldn't tell us, they'd just tell us a lie… they always lie to us, after all… yes, they'd probably say that just needed to check on the kids, like the last time, and then they'd do their nastiness, and then they'd probably erase their memories of it…'

Feliciano's eyes got glassy and his face was ash-gray, but he still didn't look that much different than normal. It crept me out – it crept me out so much. People that slowly went mad shouldn't look so fucking normal. It was breaking my heart to see him like this.

I… I had to snap him out of it. I smacked my hands on the table.

'Feliciano! Feliciano – stop that! You're making yourself insane with those kind of theories. Talking about all these disgusting things… and what the hell, erasing the kids' memories – seriously? Feliciano, do you even hear how fucked-up you're sounding?'

Feliciano pursed his pale lips.

'Our Leaders are messed-up – also, you shouldn't say the f-word, big brother – and you know it! They don't give a darn about us! They'd get rid of us in a heartbeat when given the opportunity! They'll torture our kids! They'll slowly kill them! For science!'

'No they won't – they won't!' I was almost shouting now. 'You know why, Feliciano? Because our kids are immortal. They are immortal and they are going to replace us.'

He blinked his eyes confusedly. 'What?'

'Our kids.' I took a deep, unsteady breath. 'Look, I agree with part of your theory – I also believe that the kids were created to replace us, since we're getting old and more broken every year, with each and every disaster that strikes us. But I disagree with all the other crap you spouted. England's work was a success, the kids did turn out to be immortal, since they share so many things with their parent or parents, and that's why we will be replaced by them one day – the day when they've become adults. Hell – maybe they already have replaced us, maybe we already are aging, who knows? Either way, we need to take care of them until they are adults, and then we should go make a living of our own, while our kids try to make the best of their immortal lives. That's… that's what I believe.'

My brother's eyes studied my face, his own expression sitting between total amazement and something that looked a lot like… like… pity?

'What!' I snapped. 'You don't believe me?'

He snorted and shook his head. 'Um, no – of course not. Such an optimistic theory… heh, it sounds too good to be true. Too happy. You're letting your current happiness get the best of you, don't you?'

'So what? Why shouldn't it be a happy ending?' I defended myself. 'Why do you feel the need to think of such a cruel and pessimistic theory?'

'Because! It's true! We're going to get hurt – the kids are going to get hurt, and there's nothing we can do about that!' Feliciano had rashly raised from his seat, tears forming in his eyes. 'Am I really the only one who can see that? They're… t-they're going to do the most awful things to the kids we've grown to love so much… they let us get close to them, and then they'll rip us apart again… I don't want that.'

'Feliciano…'

'I don't want that!' Feliciano desperately clutched his head, scratching his own face. 'So I ran away. Ludwig is a sweetheart and oh, I love him so much, I miss him so much, too, but he's… he's too naïve. Too good for this world – he'd never understand my fear. He says the same things you're saying, he wouldn't want to accept the truth – I thought that you would, I thought that you would say the same about Big Brother Toni, I wanted to believe we were alike enough to feel the same, but no…'

I…

I needed to fucking count to ten at least four goddamn times very slowly before I finally found myself able to respond to Feliciano without wanting to smack his face black and blue and kick his ass through the glass roof.

'I,' I started, panting a little, 'would never, ever leave Antonio behind. Ever. I love him, I—'

'I love Ludwig too!' Feliciano shrieked, looking offended. 'Your love for your lover isn't bigger or mightier than my love for mine! You don't understand! I love him, so I left him! I wanted to spare him the pain of seeing his daughter dragged away from him by others – so I chose to be the one who'd drag Mimi away from him!'

Now I violently raised from my chair as well – I even heard the chair drop on the wooden floor behind me with a sickeningly dry thud.

'That's not love – that's fucking insane!'

'I don't care! You hear? I don't care! As long as I can keep my precious daughter safe from everybody who'd hurt her, I don't mind being called insane – not even by you!'

'Well how fucking nice of you!'

'Well you're welcome!'

'Stupid moron!'

'Optimistic loser!'

We stood face-to-face like that for a few seconds longer, not snarling anymore but both breathing quickly and glaring at one another as if we tried to invade each other's brain, in yet another fruitless attempt to convince the other of our complete different theories.

Only then, in this shockingly nice fake-silence, since our shouts and frustrations had cut through the troubled atmosphere, we could finally hear and see Mimi, who had turned her back to us and was weeping.

Quietly.

It was more than enough to make us realize what we were doing, thank God, and as I put my chair back up and sat down on it again with a deep sigh, Feliciano hastily went over to where Mimi was, picked her off the floor and tried to shush her with soft, hurriedly spoken words of love.

I could just fucking throw up right now, I swear I could – but my stomach felt empty and hollow and I decided to drink some more instead.

My poor throat felt like a desert, dammit…

\0o0/

In the end, the both of us stopped shouting – hell, we stopped talking altogether – sat ourselves down once again and stared at everything around us, everything, except for each other.

Feliciano, who was carrying Mimi in his arms now, pretended to be too busy with comforting Mimi to pay attention to my angry eyes trying to drill a hole in the wall behind him, and I, well, I pretended that eye-boring a hole in the wall behind my stupid, lame-ass brother was a lot more fun to do than attempting to talk to him once more.

And you know what – it was probably true, since talking to Feliciano wasn't fun at all right now. He was infuriating me so much with his attitude and fake smiles, I wanted to scream to him to just stop it already.

Mimi didn't really know how to handle this situation either and looked from me to her father, as if she was searching for something that would make things somewhat better. But then she apparently just had enough of it and murmured to Feliciano she wanted to be put on the ground.

He firstly wanted to protest – heh, of course, he wanted to protest, if he'd put her down he'd be forced to talk to me again – but he somehow changed his mind when he caught a glimpse of my still-boring eyes and released his daughter.

While Mimi slowly walked back to the little table she sat on before, Feliciano let out a deep, frustrated sigh.

'So… what are you planning to do now, Lovi?'

'I don't know,' I said, and finally blinked. 'What are you planning to do?'

Feliciano rested his head on his arms. 'Hm, well, I'm not sure. I… had hoped I could convince you to stay here with me… and that you'd pick up the kids, of course… but I don't see that happening.'

I just snorted.

'So…' He averted his eyes and bit his lower lip, '…so I guess we'll have to leave this place. Bummer – I really love this House, but it's impossible to stay here when you're out there, knowing where Mimi and I are hiding.'

'You're planning to go play your miserable game of hide and seek elsewhere the minute I leave,' I realized, shaking my head. 'That explains the unpacked suitcases and bags. They are plan B.'

'Exactly,' Feliciano said, sticking his chin firmly forward, as if he wanted to challenge me.

'Won't you leave me another note, telling me where you're hiding?' I said this in a mocking voice, but I think we both heard the hopeful tone my words carried.

Feliciano looked up and beamed a weak smile at me.

'No.'

'No.' I frowned. 'But how am I supposed to find you then?'

'You won't find me.'

'Ah.' I swallowed something. My throat felt sticky and painful.

'I trust you, big brother,' Feliciano said when he saw the devastated look in my eyes, 'and I know you'd keep my whereabouts a secret if I asked you, but… you already told Antonio and Ludwig where you thought I was hiding, haven't you?'

'Maybe,' I muttered.

Feliciano let out another small puff of air. 'Well, then I can't stay here: they'd try to drag me back to the place where the Leaders can find me – where they can find Mimi. I can't let that happen… and I can't force you to stay with us either. So I have no other choice. We'll just disappear once again – and this time, we won't be going to a House. Staying at a familiar House was a stupid move to begin with, so… so maybe this is good.'

'No, this isn't good. Shut the hell up. Please.' I pressed my lips together tightly. It felt like Feliciano was telling me farewell, and that was so fucking depressing and awful – I just didn't want to hear it.

'Lovino…' Feliciano's eyes got all watery and stupid again. 'You won't believe me, will you? You just won't. You're here to bring me back to Ludwig, which I appreciate from both you and Luddy, but I can't, and I won't. Just like you. We're both stubborn like that.'

'I-I really have no choice? Is…' My tongue felt huge and awkward in my mouth, for some reason, and I refused to accept that my eyes started to sting as well now, '…is there nothing I can do… nothing I can say to keep you… by my side, somehow?'

He didn't answer.

'You're my brother,' I continued stammering, 'my little brother. You're a pain in the ass and you're fucking dumb, but… but I love you. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to be both North and South.'

Feliciano – already bawling – hesitated, but then he nodded slowly. 'Th-there is something you could do to keep in touch with me, yes. But I don't want to let you make that decision – it's a horrible choice you have to make either way, really…'

I instantly looked up, grasping that little ray of hope with both of my hands. 'No, tell me! Tell me – what do I have to do to… not-lose you?'

'Stay with me.' Feliciano rubbed in his eyes. 'S-stay with me and Mimi. Don't go back. Only then, I… I can keep you by my side.'

'What?' I said.

'There is no other way,' Feliciano stressed. 'There isn't.'

I stared at him. 'But… what?'

Feliciano looked away from me again.

'Are…' I started, '…are you telling me I should choose between you and… and Antonio and the kids?'

He nodded.

'What… wh-what the fuck.' I heard I was practically pushing myself to say the words I managed to get out. 'Seriously? You or them? My family or the family… the family I made of my own?'

'Well…' Feliciano softly said after a moment of silence, '…um… I don't want to make you feel bad, but, technically, you and Antonio didn't create the kids. England did. So they're maybe not—'

'I can't believe you're really saying this.'

I shot a look at him so damn angry and disgusted it immediately shut him up.

'I don't give a shitting fuck about whatever the hell England has done or created – he didn't create a family! We did!' I smacked myself on the chest. 'Antonio, the kids and I did! We… we made our own family! We chose to make a family – to be a family! You honestly believe that somebody else, somebody that's got nothing to do with me whatsoever, can make something like that? Just like that?'

Feliciano, who regretted his thoughtless comment, winced, but didn't respond.

Luckily, he didn't have to respond yet – I wasn't quite finished yet.

'You can't just simply accept offered or created people as your family. You can't, Feliciano! Not until you feel, realize and admit you love them! That's all up to you! Nobody else can make that decision – just you! And I… I-I…'

My pupils dilated. I gasped for breath and harshly grasped my mouth.

'You love them.'

Feliciano dared to look at me again. His eyes were sad and his lips were quivering, but he did his best to keep that damn smile on his face.

'Don't you?'

I couldn't reply right away. I really…

This was so strange. It wasn't, really, and that's what made it strange.

My complicated, but sensible daughter. My aggressive, but loving son. My weird, but cute other son.

I thought my heart was going to flutter itself senseless when I thought of those three dorks at home.

I loved them.

I loved them all so much.

'Fuck it,' I wheezed, for some reason, and pounded the stupid pretty table. 'Fuck-it-all, dammit.'

Feliciano just smiled – it was all he seemed to be able to do, really.

'Scary, isn't it? Loving more people than just your significant other and brother.'

'I didn't ask for this.' I gulped and folded my hand over my bruised fist. 'When did I…?'

'It just happened. You accepted them – all of them. It's like you preached to me just a minute ago: you felt it, you maybe even realized it at a certain level, and now, you've admitted it.'

'You don't understand,' I hoarsely said. 'I…I never thought I'd… I'd ever care for them this much. I never thought this feeling I had whenever I looked at them or thought about them was actual love. It's… it's so different. I didn't know it.'

'You know it now.'

'But then I must have loved them for a while already…'

'Well, you always were slow in realizing your feelings. Just like Big Brother Toni.' Feliciano suddenly grinned playfully at me. 'I wonder in what year he'll finally realize he loves the kids?'

I couldn't help it – I carefully grinned back. 'God. That could take centuries.'

'You know, Ludwig realized it pretty early! He was like "oh, I think I love Mimi, by the way" when he was doing the laundry a few weeks ago. As if he talked about someone he met on the way to the grocery store!'

'No way, seriously?' I laughed. 'That stoic bear actually was the first of the two of you to realize he loved Mimi?'

Feliciano chuckled and blushed. 'Gosh, Lovi, you should have seen his face! Veee… it was so cute and awkward!~'

'Ugh – I don't need to know that.'

Feliciano burst in a fit of giggles and I could hear that this time, his laughing was genuine. It was genuinely happy and amused, and this was the way he always laughed whenever he found something funny.

I had thought…. I had thought his original way of laughing had merged into the creepy anti-persona he had created for himself, but thank God I could still hear a very audible difference.

'You said "veee",' I casually, but friendly pointed out as Feliciano's laughing became less.

Feliciano beamed a huge smile at me and nodded, without saying anything.

'I feared you'd forgotten it,' I confessed.

'Veee… that's kind of hard, isn't it?' Feliciano wiped the laughing-tears out of his eyes. 'It's a tic, after all!~'

'It took you a while to say, though.' It just slipped out of my mouth – I couldn't stop myself.

'I know. Maybe it's got something to do with my state of mind or something, huh?'

'Is…' I frowned a bit, '…is your state of mind better now?'

Feliciano blushed. 'A little, yes!'

'Really?' I almost felt relieved. 'So… so you will come back with m—'

'No. Don't be stupid.'

Feliciano lost the smile. It's like he just dropped it on the floor.

'Don't mock me, Lovino.'

The stubborn, slowly-growing feelings of relief and hope I had felt inside of me disappeared immediately.

'I-I'm not mocking you. I just don't want to lose you.'

Feliciano's expression saddened drastically. It happened so fast – it was like the lighter, brighter air of a minute ago had dropped dead on the floor as well, together with his former smile.

'L-Lovino, don't. I'm not coming back. After these last few weeks have passed, they will come with a scary explanation for the kids and then they'll take them away from us. I'm not going to wait around for that. I'm keeping myself and Mimi invisible, until either A: all the bad things have happened already and it's safe for Mimi and me to be out and about, or B: it turns out I was wrong and I won't need to hide any longer.'

I looked up. 'So if your theory's proven to be wrong, then you will come back?'

'Veee, of course!' Feliciano said. 'Why would I hide any longer when there's nothing to be scared of? You bet I'll come back when things turn out way more positive! And then I'll make sure to apologize to you, and Ludwig, and all the others that have worried about me! But…'

'…but?'

'But if I'm right, I'll… I promise you I'll keep my distance from you. I won't rub it in your face.'

'What?'

'My theory,' Feliciano explained. 'If it's confirmed, I won't rub it in your face. You know, since you'll be busy mourning and stuff.'

I smirked sarcastically, even though I kind of felt like crying.

'Now, now. How… v-very nice of you.'

Feliciano observed me struggling with my unshed tears, forced smile and cold hands for a little while, before leaning over the table and covering my hands with his. His hands were cold as well. Cold and sticky.

'Lovi, it's okay. Choose them.'

'W-wha…' I muttered.

'You love them too much, r-right?' Feliciano's nose started running now, just like his eyes. He was such a baby. He could only cry, dammit, whether it were happy tears or sad ones.

However, I felt my shoulders began to shake, too, and I heard sobbing sounds coming out of my mouth.

'Y-you…' Feliciano blabbered on, '…you love Antonio, and you love your kids. You… you love them more than you believe me. I'm not saying you don't love me enough – I'm just saying that your love for them, and your hope for a better outcome of all of this… is stronger right now.'

'F-Felicia—'

'You'll go back to them. You'll… you'll go back to them and love them and be loved by them, and that's that.'

'Feliciano, I…I…' My lips trembled, even as I once more pressed my molars together way too painfully. 'I can't leave them – you understand, right? I can't – I just can't. He's my world. They are my flesh and blood. I can't… I can't…'

'I understand! I understand, Lovi, I do!'

'Sorry…'

'N-no, don't be sorry! I told you I understood, remember? There's nothing you should apologize for. As a matter of fact, I should apologize to you, since I said something that harsh and senseless about the kids – you know, claiming that they're not really fami… y-you know. Sorry. I just… I was emotional and tried to manipulate you. Sorry. S-so sorry.'

I lifted a hand, one that was still covered with his hand, to reassure him I wasn't mad at him for that comment anymore. Of course he hadn't meant it that badly – if he had been serious, he'd have made fun of his own little weird family as well, and I knew he wouldn't ever want to do that.

I took a deep, fresh breath of air, gently slipped Feliciano's hand off mine, and locked my eyes with his.

'Anyway, Feliciano… what should we do now?'

'Huh?' Feliciano blinked his tired, reddish eyes. 'You mean you're not going back to Spain right away?'

'I was hoping to spend some days with you, actually.' I nonchalantly scratched the back of my head. 'But, heh, if you want me to leave already…'

Feliciano's jaw dropped a bit and he hastily shook his head. 'N-no, no! Stay a little longer – that… that would be great! We could do so much cool stuff, just like we did when we were still living together!~'

I smiled weakly. 'You remembered.'

'Veee, of course! Spending time with your brother's always fun! Venice is expensive, but… but we'll make something out of it anyway!~'

I snorted haughtily, just because I fucking could.

'Ha! Don't worry about money or whatever: Antonio gave me lots of it, so that you and I could spend some quality time together. A brother-bonding week – that's how he called it.'

My brother gasped. 'Oh! How very nice of him!'

And yet you wouldn't even think about having him come to this place as well, I wanted to say – but I quickly pushed that negative thought away as soon as it popped up.

I mean… what the fuck, what good would it bring to nag at him now, now that we were… were going to spend a few days in each other's presence – for perhaps the last time? I should whine and snarl as less as possible now that I still could be with him.

But, or so I thought to myself as Feliciano started babbling about the canals and boats in Venice, I hadn't given up on him yet.

Oh no, definitely not. I had promised Germany to bring him and Mimi back, dammit, and fuck me if I wasn't going to do the best that I could to willingly take him back home.