"I've been looking for, got something I'm supposed to deliver. Your hands only," The courier said, running up.

The Dragonborn frowned, unimpressed. "You say that every time,"

Ignoring her, he presently a letter. "From the College of Winterhold, must be important."

She rolled her eyes. "One would think so, but I swear, if this is another note about Nirya's and Faralda's feud or Enthir's black market dealings, I may hurt somebody."

She tore open the letter and scanned it. "Well, at least this is a legitimate Arch Mage problem."

"Wait, you're the Arch Mage?" the courier said, looking surprised.

She ignored him; "Ugh, fine, I'll go toss my magic poncho on and head to the college…."


"Oh, you've arrived," Tolfdir greeted as the Dragonborn and Arch Mage approached the doors. She handed him a glass contraption. "Here you go,"

"My alembic!" he exclaimed. "I've been missing it for the last few hours! Thank you,"

"Uh huh," she nodded.

No need to tell him that wasn't his alembic, it was just another one she had.

The Master Wizard slowly entered the College's large double doors, speaking as he did so. "I'll gather up the students in question, would you like them in your quarters?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." The Dragonborn shrugged, tugging on the unflattering robes she was wearing. "I'll meet them up there in a second. I need to drop aa book off with Urag first. I totally forgot I had found it. I think it's been a few months."

"Oh, alright." Tolfdir paused. "Speaking of months, have you seen Arniel? I have not for quite some time!"

"Tolfdir," the blonde sighed. "We talked about this,"

"We did?" the old man said, eyes widening. "I simply do not recall that conversation!"

"Well, go ask somebody else, I have to discipline some students."

"Oh, perhaps Mirabelle might know…" the mumbled, looking off down the hall.

The Dragonborn massaged her temples. She seriously did not have the patience for this.

The Arch Mages quarters were quite impressive, with high ceilings, interesting stone work and of course, every magical supply item anyone could ever want.

At one of the tables, three students sat, the only three apprentices they had.

J'zargo quickly pocketed something as she approached, making her frown. Luckily, everything of value had already been taken…by her.

Onmund and Brelyna both straightened up once they noticed her, and the Nord winced, obviously knowing they were already in trouble.

The Dragonborn flicked her hood off and gave them excoriating long stares.

"It was J'zargo's idea!" Onmund exclaimed after a few seconds. He pointed accusingly at the Khajiit.

Said Khajiit simply twitched his tail and leaned back, unconcerned. "This one has no idea what you are talking about,"

"Well, it was sort of all our ideas…" Brelyna admitted, shifting uncomfortably.

"Yes, but he said we should get the notes from Enthir!" Onmund continued, still looking frazzled. "So it's his fault!"

"Stop it, all of you." the blonde said, frowning. "As both the Arch Mage and the Dragonborn, I am very disappointed in you all."

She let the words sink in, watching as they all looked contrite, even J'zargo.

"…Disappointed that you got caught!" she added. "Collette is drunk off her ass every day, how in the world did she catch you cheating?"

They all blinked in surprise.

"Well," Brelyna began. "We…we left the notes in the room,"

"And she originally thought it was another teacher that stole them, since her research papers always go missing," Onmund added.

The Khajiit spread his hands wide, "Then this one may have mentioned Enthir, and she figured it out. But she was very drunk, as you say."

"As always," the Dragonborn muttered. "Okay, so I'll be chatting with Enthir. I keep telling him to stop selling papers. I mean, everyone knows the real money can be made with enchantments."

The students gave her a weird look so she waved her hands, "But, never mind. That's beside the point. I am disappointed you guys got caught, really. And why cheat on a Restoration test? I would think that would be easy!"

"Not when the test is writing down one hundred uses for wards," Brelyna said.

"Wards are great!" Onmund exclaimed.

J'zargo glared at him sideways; "There is no one here to suck up too, pale one."

Onmund frowned, but didn't deny it.

"Okay, yes, that test is pretty awful." The Dragonborn admitted. "Still, don't cheat by buying work papers. That's a waste of money. Collette's papers are always in the common eating area. She is always leaving them there. No one steals them, she's just too drunk to remember she left them there."

"…Are you encouraging us to cheat?" Onmund asked.

She shrugged, "No, but let's just say I wouldn't write down one hundred uses for wards. I know of three; block magic, drain magic and look cool."

"J'zargo thinks you are the best Arch Mage," the Khajiit said, smiling.

"Now who's a suck up?" she teased. "Well, anyway, I do have to punish you guys. So you have to explain to Tolfdir, again, that the formerly Arch Mage, Arniel and Mirabelle are all dead."

All three students groaned.

"Again?" Brelyna said, shoulders slumping.

"Yes, again." The Dragonborn said. "Next time, don't get caught!"


Author's Note: Whew, been gone for awhile! I assure you I'm working on all sorts of projects, but here's a little quick funny.

I just love the college and making fun of them. They are so ridiculous. I had a friend that used to play Skyrim as a mage character and always called the Arch Mage robes her "magic poncho". It will always be that from now on too me...

More to come, hopefully soon! If things ever settle down for me so I can WRITE!