Chapter 52: Second Choices

Saturday, September 8, 2012, After School, Yu's POV

At drama club, the four members I'd heard were in danger of losing their parts if they didn't improve rehearsed, perhaps not knowing what was on the line for them, but perhaps trying hard in spite of that. As Sayuri said, we were past the point at which we were learning our parts, and at the point at which we had to prove that we knew them.

Fortunately, most of us, even some of us who'd had trouble, rose to the challenge. Akaboshi-kun and Miyamoto-san had no problems at all, so I wondered if Tuesday had just been a bad day for them, or if I'd been wrong about Sayuri having them on her private "list." Nogami-kun was still having a little trouble, and Sayuri ended up calling him out into the hall for a few minutes, but I believed that he'd be able to shape up within a week.

The same could not be said for Nakasuga-san, however. She was still struggling with her role, and seemed to have regressed since the school year began. On Thursday, after forgetting a few of her lines, she got a call on her cell phone (which, per school regulations, was supposed to be off), and asked to go home early- Ms. Takizawa reluctantly granted permission, likely knowing Nakasuga-san would leave even without it. Finally, on Saturday, during a rehearsal of Act II, Nakasuga-san finally made one mistake too many.

"His name is Romeo, and a Montague," Satomi said, playing the Nurse, "The only son of your great enemy."

After a pause that was a few seconds longer than the script likely intended, Nakasuga-san spoke her line, stammering as she did.

"M-my only hate sprung from my only l-love!" Nakasuga-san said while playing Juliet. "Too early seen and known too...too... line, please?"

While Nakasuga-san had butchered the line, she had actually succeeded in drawing out some of Juliet's anguish, if only out of a sense of desperation.

"My only love sprung from my only hate!" Satomi said. "Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, That I must love a loathed enemy."

Satomi's delivery of the line was essentially perfect, but hardly anyone seemed impressed, or seemed to notice it as anything more than a demonstration of how Nakasuga-san should have delivered the line.

"Oh..." Nakasuga-san said, as her cheeks turned bright enough red that she seemed almost feverish. She was clearly mortified by how someone who didn't even have her role outshone her in that line, almost enough that she'd be tempted to plunge a dagger into her heart to end the humiliation.

Sayuri let off a sigh and stepped forward, and Nakasuga-san turned and froze as she saw that the president had been watching all this time. She commonly watched rehearsals, but only stepped up when she needed to offer commentary or criticism, and it was clear that this time, she needed to do more than that.

"That will be enough," Sayuri said. "Nakasuga-senpai, please come into the hall with me. Senoo-senpai, please take over Juliet's role and start the scene from the top."

Nakasuga-san silently nodded and walked over, presumably not wanting to draw attention to herself. Some third-years weren't happy about taking orders from a second-year, but if Nakasuga-san felt that way, she didn't show it.

As Sayuri led Nakasuga-san into the hall, the scene started over, with Senoo-san flawlessly doing Nakasuga-san's lines, perhaps even better than Satomi just had. The two stopped when we heard a shrill cry of what sounded like "I am trying!" from Nakasuga-san.

"So... where were we, Kajiki-san?" Senoo-san said.

"I think it was 'What's this, what's this?', Senoo-senpai," Satomi said.

Senoo-san shook her head.

"That was where you left off last time," Senoo-san said "I think-"

Senoo-san was then interrupted by what sounded like "But my dad is...", then sighed.

"Let's take a break," Senoo-san said. "I'm all for practicing, but we can't work like this."

"Good idea, senpai," Satomi said.

The other groups, evidently having heard what we did, followed suit, and all practice stopped for the day, as we stood in silence, punctuated only by inaudible conversation and Nakasuga-san's crying. We'd heard enough to arouse our curiosity and worry, but more than we'd been mean to, so we couldn't possibly ask what they had discussed- all that was left was to draw our own conclusions.

A few minutes later, the door opened, and Sayuri stepped back in without Nakasuga-san. She looked around and, evidently deciding to pretend she didn't notice us not practicing just like we pretended not to hear her, called us to attention.

"Everyone, may I please have your attention?" Sayuri said. "An urgent matter has come up and Tachibana-san and I have to meet with the advisor. It may be a little early, but the rest of you may go home now."

As Tachibana-san followed Sayuri to the faculty offices and the rest of the club went their separate ways without saying a word, Satomi and I gathered our things and walked out of the school.

After a little while, Sayuri stopped at a bench and sat down, at which point I put down my bag and sat next to her. Without any preamble, she got right to the point.

"I know Sayuri has to respect our members' privacy, but let's be honest here," Satomi said. "She was definitely thinking about Nakasuga-senpai when she mentioned the people who were having trouble."

I shrugged. Satomi had noticed the same things I had, and while I understood why she thought Sayuri was sometimes dishonest about her motives, I couldn't quite see what she's getting at.

"Nakasuga-san probably isn't the only one," I said. "What's your point?"

Satomi sighed, apparently unhappy about having to spell it out, but aware that she'd confided enough in me over the past few months that I could probably figure out on my own.

"It makes me feel horrible to even consider this," Satomi said, "but do you think that if Nakasuga-senpai steps down, I might get her part?"

I paused to think, and then shrugged. Satomi did not need someone to judge her at this point, but someone who would help her make sense of things. Several of her desires- a leading role, to be close to her friend, to help her friend be a good president and to help the club as a whole- were swirling together in a maelstrom of confusion, so I hoped I could help her understand which ones were most important to her, and which ones she was willing to give up if necessary.

"I honestly don't know," I said. "There are other people who auditioned for Juliet after all and weren't fortunate enough to get another role. Some of them might be dedicated enough to offer heir help, and do so as well as the club needs them to, so wouldn't it be best if they had a chance?"

"I think so," Satomi said. "Still, I'd like to think I'm one of those people, and if I were to play Juliet, Sayuri would just have to fill the Nurse role- it's easier to get someone ready for that one on short notice."

"True, but if I recall correctly, fewer people signed up for that one," I said. "I may not have all the information Sayuri does, but that's what I gather."

Satomi remained silent for a moment, probably finding my point hard to contest. After a while, she nodded with a sigh, then spoke in a tone that was the most disheartened that I'd ever heard from her.

"You know, that's the problem," Satomi said. "Hardly any of us know what our president knows or doesn't know, which makes it even harder for us to know the truth about her actions. For this reason, some people even spread rumors on the Grapevine that Sayuri was her predecessor's accomplice when the latter got caught stealing, and threw the old president under the bus to take her job."

I shrugged. Gossip tended to be outlandish and malicious, as well as often distorted from the original rumor. As a result, it only seemed natural that people would spread all sorts of ideas that weren't necessarily true. At the very least, Satomi didn't believe the gossip that had spread on the school's unofficial gossip website, given her tone was dripping with disgust.

"There will always be certain people who say things that aren't kind or even true," I said. "In spite of that, Sayuri has to at least try to do right by them- not for her sake or theirs, but that of the entire club."

"I suppose you have a point," Satomi said, "but the problem is that I don't know what Sayuri hopes to accomplish anymore. She once hoped to do better than her predecessors, but is making all of their mistakes...except for getting caught with a hand in the cookie jar. At this point, I really don't care about playing Juliet as much as finding some sign that Sayuri cares about things besides maintaining the status quo."

I simply remained silent, unsure of what to say. Just as life was about more than just staying alive, organizations had to aspire to more than their mere survival. The Amagi Inn didn't just try to make its guests happy because it was profitable, but because it was the right thing to do, so I sympathized with Satomi's desire to make the club better, a desire Sayuri had once pursued more fervently.

Eventually, Satomi looked at her watch, and, perhaps needing to get home or perhaps wanting to leave before Sayuri happened upon us talking, stood up and picked up her bookbag.

"I've got to get going, Yu-senpai," Satomi said. "Thank you for listening to my venting."

With a "You're welcome, Satomi," I said goodbye. While listening seemed like a passive venture, it also helped me learn more about other people. It was clear now that while Sayuri was determined to serve as long as the club needed her, Satomi's patience was nearing its end. Perhaps they couldn't make the changes they'd hoped, but I knew that had no desire to see a talented and dedicated actress walk away over something like this, even if I didn't know how to prevent it just yet.


Evening

Once I was home, I called Yumi and told her everything that had happened since the start of the month. It didn't take all that long, since Yumi had heard everything up to summer vacation when I last spoke to her.

"Do you want to know what I think, Yu-kun?" Yumi said. "Sayuri-san shouldn't have given Nakasuga-san another week- she should have asked her to step down today. Of course, it would've been better if Nakasuga-san had taken the initiative herself, rather than waiting until her... personal issue affected her performance."

I was slightly taken aback by Yumi's bluntness, but I could see where she was coming from. Yumi was not only a person with high standards for herself and for others, but also someone who had been in a similar situation before. Back then, she'd cared nothing for her father- or at least she'd told herself that- but the day after her mother collapsed, she informed the club that she would be taking a leave of absence due to personal circumstances and could no longer play her role in the school concours.

"Harsh, isn't it?" Yumi said. "I know, and that's why I leave giving orders to the student council president, who's much better at being kind and polite but no-nonsense."

"No, I get what you're saying," I said. "At the same time, Sayuri knows that while Nakasuga-san is not meeting our expectations, replacing her is another matter altogether."

"I know," Yumi said, "which is why I regret inconveniencing the drama club by stepping down from my role, even if it was the responsible thing to do. Of course, in any organization, you must put the good of the group ahead of that of yourself or any individual."

"That's understandable," I said. Going off that principle, it was easy to see what had to be done. Sayuri would have to serve as president as long as the club needed her, and Satomi and I would have to play whatever roles we'd been given, even if they weren't the ones we wanted. Of course, any solution that requires cold logic is easier in theory than reality- it may be viewed as more logical to choose the larger group in a moral question about which of two groups you save, but hardly anyone could callously tell the smaller group that they would have to die for the greater good.

"That said..." Yumi said before I could respond, "you're not a slave, and you should be able to get something out of your time in those organizations. You go to school for an education, work to put food on the table, and join drama clubs because you enjoy acting, don't you?"

"You do," I said. "Satomi is doing her part for the club, but she also admits to wanting the lead role and being concerned about her friend. As for Sayuri, she's doing her best for the club, but she also has a vision for the club- the club she'd like to be in- that she put aside but can't give up on."

"I understand," Yumi said. "I've said most of what advice I feel confident in giving, but there's one thing left for both your friends. You should never give up on something important to you, but the time may come when you need to let go of something, whether for your own good or that of others. Do you understand the difference?"

I nodded. A surprising number of the people I knew made remarkable progress on solving their problems simply by thinking about them from a different perspective, and abandoning one of their assumptions. Would that mean Satomi would understand Sayuri's perspective, that Sayuri would no longer assume it was necessary to be president, or perhaps both? It was hard to tell at this point.

"I do," I said. "Of course, I suppose the real question is whether Sayuri and Satomi do."

"True," Yumi said. "I know it's up to them, but I'm sure you could help them a little. You do have a way with helping people work through their feelings, so I'm sure you'll do just fine. Just believe in your friends, as I believe in you."

As I said goodbye to Yumi, I realized that while I understood things better, neither Sayuri nor Satomi would be likely to listen to a girl they'd never met when their positions had remained unchanged, roughly a year after Sayuri became club president and five months after meeting and befriending me. Still, a piece of advice like this was good for helping one make sense of things and understand one's choices, and I hoped they'd have a similar epiphany soon.


Tuesday, September 11, 2012, After School, Yu's POV

Drama club practice began, and we began working on our various roles in a rehearsal. Before we started, though, Tachibana-san stood before us to make an announcement.

"Everyone, I have something to tell you," Tachibana-san said. "President Sakamoto and Ms. Takizawa will be unable to come for some time, since they are in a private meeting with a student. Please continue rehearsing on your own until they arrive."

Satomi let off a sigh and turned to me.

"That's how things usually are around here," Satomi said. "I get that Sayuri and Ms. Takizawa have to keep some things private, but like I said on Saturday, they're doing too much behind closed doors."

Satomi's frustration was understandable. As someone who struggled to understand the president's decisions and motives even though she was a friend, a lack of transparency was the last thing Satomi wanted. Of course, with practice about to start, I couldn't say anything to her.

I looked around the various members, and noticed something was off. Attendance was mandatory for those rehearsing parts, so I'd gradually gotten to know most of the regular members in the club. As a result, I knew all of their faces, and noticed that one of them wasn't there- Nakasuga-san. After what happened yesterday, it was clear that if Nakasuga-san missed club practice at a time like this, she might not be coming back at all.

Soon afterward, Ms. Takizawa and Sayuri walked into the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nakasuga-san run past, no longer caring about being stopped by a teacher as much as ensuring no one saw the tears in her eyes.

"Senoo-senpai, please come with us," Sayuri said. "Everyone else, please resume where you left off."

With a "Yes, President," Satomi and I got back to work as Sayuri and Senoo-san excused themselves. Satomi seemed slightly preoccupied, as though she had something on her mind- or perhaps that she was trying to keep her mind off something.

Ten minutes later, Sayuri and the others re-entered the room. Sayuri called for our attention, and as we formed up, Ms. Takizawa stood by Sayuri's side, while Senoo-san stood with the rest of us.

"Everyone, I have some sad news," Sayuri said. "Due to personal circumstances, Nakasuga-senpai will no longer be able to play the lead role, and will be withdrawing from the club. As such, Senoo-senpai will be filling in for her."

"J-just like that?!" Satomi said. "Out of everyone who tried out, you-"

"Kajiki-san," Sayuri said. "If you have something you wish to say to me, please speak with me in private."

"Yes, ma'am," Satomi said, bowing in apology.

The club went silent, without even a murmur going up. The silence lasted only a second, as Sayuri quickly took the opportunity to resume speaking.

"Apart from that, I'm pleased to say that things appear to be going as planned," Sayuri said. "Please continue to work hard and do your best, and we will make this production of Romeo & Juliet a success together. Dismissed."

As the rest of the club began to gather their belongings and leave, Sayuri walked up to Satomi.

"Is there something you'd like to talk about, Satomi?" Sayuri said.

Satomi paused, then shook her head.

"Not at all," Satomi said. "Again, I'm sorry for my outburst. You've already made your decision, so I should at least respect it."

Sayuri stared at Satomi, trying to gauge something in her reactions or wait for her to say more, but was met with only silence. After a few moments, Sayuri turned around, had a whispered conversation with Ms. Takizawa and walked up to me.

"I'll be busy after school," Sayuri said. "We'll have to meet with the principal regarding the change- we wouldn't want hundreds of programs saying 'Juliet-Momo Nakasuga' instead of 'Juliet-Setsuna Senoo' after all."

Sayuri silently nodded. In hindsight, I had to wonder why it would take so long for such a simple change, even considering that the club was on thin ice with the principal, but they said goodbye and left before I could come up with a way to ask them a question that would get an honest answer out of them.

After getting my things, I turned my phone on, and saw a text from Sayuri appear almost immediately.

I get the feeling Satomi needs some space now. See you on Thursday.

"Who was that?" Satomi said as I put my phone away.

"Sayuri," I said. "She seemed worried about you, and suspected that you might need time alone."

Satomi nervously chuckled.

"It's that obvious?" Satomi said. "But anyway, it's actually the opposite. I'd like to talk to you."

We walked into a local family restaurant and each ordered a drink. I offered to pay, but Satomi insisted on doing so, not wanting to feel as though she was imposing on me.

Once the waitress took our orders and lefts, an awkward silence followed. I glanced around for a moment before turning back to Satomi.

"So if I may ask, why are you so upset?" I said.

"I don't suppose I ever told you what caused Sayuri to lose faith in our club president from middle school?" Satomi said, and I shook my head. "It was an incident like this, back in Middle school. Our club was doing Hamlet, the actress playing Ophelia- a role I'd auditioned for- was hospitalized. Naturally, we needed a new one, and Sayuri, who was playing Gertrude, thought I would be perfect. I knew I wasn't quite as good as the other girl, but I was glad to hear Sayuri was so confident in me."

Satomi's eyes seemed wistfully nostalgic. It was clear that while her relationship with Sayuri was often strained, she was deeply grateful to her friend for her help back then, and likely many other times in the past.

"Unfortunately, when Sayuri spoke to the president on my behalf, she'd found out that the president had already moved to select a replacement in a closed audition," Satomi said. "Back then, I was actually the one who understood that they needed to find a replacement quickly... at least until the girl they brought in did a really crappy job."

"So she made a mistake," I said. "Or do you think it's more than a simple matter of bad judgment?"

Satomi nodded.

"It turned out that the other girl was the president's cousin," Satomi said. "I'm not sure whether the president's aunt or uncle made her do it, she wanted to do a favor for her cousin, or if she just made a hasty choice without much time, but everyone agreed that it hurt the quality of the play and cheated better actors out of a part they deserved more. Back then, Sayuri and I agreed that the search process itself was a mistake... at least until Sayuri made that mistake again."

"Would you say that Senoo-san is better than that girl from the past?" I said.

"Well, pretty much anyone is," Satomi said, "and I have to admit that Senoo-senpai's probably a bit better than I am. So was Nakasuga-san, at least until, well, whatever it was happened, so I can't even say that initially casting her was a mistake."

"Then what's the problem? I said, perhaps a bit more insistently than I'd intended. There were times when it was important to cut to the heart of the matter, but I didn't want to push Sayuri too hard.

"The problem is, I signed on to the club to act, not for everything else," Satomi said. "I didn't sign up for roles handed out behind closed doors, apparently mainly based on seniority. I didn't sign up to have my friend become president, only to act distant to me, ignore my advice and lose sight of her principles. I didn't sign up to simply keep the club going, rather than make it better. So now that I'm no longer getting out of it what I'd hoped to... there's only one thing left for me to do."

"You don't mean..." I said, and Satomi nodded.

"That's right," Satomi said, "Once the play is finished and I'm no longer needed as the Nurse, I'm quitting the club."

I was left speechless for a moment. I'd realized that Satomi had been unhappy for months, but had never expected her to go this far. Now that she had chosen to do so, what could I say to talk her out of it, or was it even my place to do so? One way or another, I would be gone at the end of the year, and would likely leave after the play so that I could focus on exams, so I had to wonder whether I had any business convincing Satomi to stay.

"Have you thought this over?" I said. It was a drastic decision, like Yukiko's choice to leave her hometown, her family and everyone she knew behind, so I hoped Satomi was either willing to reconsider, or at least understood it well enough to not regret it.

"I have," Satomi said. "I'd held out hope that things would change, but now that it's clear that they won't, I'm stepping aside. If nothing else, it'll make Sayuri's job a little easier, now that she doesn't have to give orders to a friend."

I remained silent for a few moments, then let off a defeated sigh.

"I don't know what to say to that," I said.

"I do," Satomi said without missing a beat. "You're a good friend and a skilled actor, Yu-senpai, so if I never see you again after the play is over, I'd like you to know that I've been glad to be your friend and clubmate. Take care of yourself, and good luck with exams."

"I appreciate hearing that, Satomi," I said, "but I hope this isn't the last time we see each other."

"So do I," Satomi said.

On that note, we parted ways without saying anything else, least of all goodbye. It was clear that this was not what Satomi wanted to do, but perhaps what she felt she needed to do. There had to be a better solution to her, Sayuri's and the club's problems, even I couldn't think of one right now.


Sayuri's POV

As I finished my text to Yu-san, Ms. Takizawa walked up to me.

"I'm finished," Ms. Takizawa said. "The principal was fairly understanding."

"That's good to hear, Ms. Takizawa," I said.

Ms. Takizawa nodded, and we started to walk home, but headed toward Aunt Chihiro's apartment, which was in a different complex from my parents. Aunt Chihiro's building was smaller, cheaper and was closer to the school, making it ideal for a single woman who was a teacher, but less practical for a married couple with one teenage daughter.

After a little while of walking in silence, Ms. Takizawa turned to me.

"Are you still feeling troubled, Sakamoto-san?" Ms. Takizawa said. "As faculty advisor, I must approve all of your decisions, and as such, share responsibility for them, so I would not approve of your choice if I did not believe it to be right."

I nodded, but didn't feel convinced. It always was difficult to talk to Ms. Takizawa when she was formal and distant, addressing a girl young enough to be her daughter the same way she had addressed her brother-in-law before he married her older sister.

"I know, ma'am," I said. "But can you please talk about what you think, but as my aunt, rather than as a teacher?"

"My opinion remains the same, Sayuri," Aunt Chihiro said. "Perhaps I assume a professional persona on the job, but I believe that's only one facet of who I am. The rules and my circumstances sometimes dictate my actions, but the final choice is mine."

Aunt Chihiro had a point. On the job, she was required to dress professionally, and wore one of a few different pantsuits (black, black with pinstripes, blue, brown, light and charcoal gray, and red- I'd memorized all of them), but off the job, she was rarely seen without a button-down shirt, and only wore casual clothes while doing housework. She was required to be formal and polite to students, their families, her colleagues and her superiors, and chose to be that way around virtually everyone else outside he family. Maybe she was better at being an authority figure than I was because it was in her nature.

"I understand, Aunt Chihiro," I said, "but I don't like the implications. I'd hoped to accomplish more than just keeping this club going- in fact, I wanted to re-do an audition for this position until I realized I didn't have time. Is the fact that I can't do that proof that I never really wanted it?"

Aunt Chihiro shook her head.

"We all have to make sacrifices," Aunt Chihiro said. "Your mother had hoped to return to work after having you, but one thing led to another, and by the time she was able to return, she'd been out of the business too long. In spite of that, your mother believes that having you was the best decision of her life."

I was touched by hearing that. Aunt Chihiro seemed like she'd be a kind yet strict parent, but she said that she was less interested in raising a single child than teaching hundreds of students. She and Mom were different in many regards personality-wise, with Mom being the more laid-back of the two, but they got along really well, and Aunt Chihiro looked after her sister's daughter like I was her own. It was just a shame that Aunt Chihiro had to put that aspect of herself aside on the job.

"Does Mom ever talk about what she gave up?" I said. Mom said she'd never regretted how things turned out, but I wanted to hear from one of the people Mom trusted most in this world.

"Sometimes," Aunt Chihiro said. "In spite of that, I believe that when you make the right decision, you'll know it in the end, even if it requires sacrifices."

I sighed.

"The problem is that I don't know that just yet," I said. "But thank you for the advice, Aunt Chihiro- I'll keep that in mind."

We soon reached my apartment, and Aunt Chihiro talked to my parents for a few minutes before heading home. I'd sacrificed much with hardly anything in my return, and while the club was still around, I didn't like the idea that it was the most I could hope for.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012, Lunch Time

Satomi and I sat down at the same table for lunch together, as we often did. Sayuri was oddly insistent upon seeing me, even as I wondered if she still needed space.

"Anyway, Sayuri, there's something I want you to see," Satomi said, as she passed a folded sheet of paper across the table. "It may come off as a spur of the moment decision, but it's something that I've thought about for a long time."

I opened the letter and read it- a brief yet formal handwritten note announcing that Satomi planned to leave the club once Romeo and Juliet had finished its run.

As I read the letter, I suddenly felt short of breath, as if someone had tied my tie too tightly- I've always wondered whose brilliant idea it was to come up with an article of clothing that was meant to be tied around the neck and was people's first choice for an improvised noose.

"Satomi..." I said. "I...I never wanted this."

"Of course not," Satomi said, a bit coldly. "But while you had to keep the club going, at some point, you decided to just keep it going as it has been. I'd hoped things would change, but since it won't, I don't have any desire to be here any longer."

"I'm sorry," I said. "Even though I asked you not to expect special treatment, I was the one taking it for granted that you'd understand just because we're friends... we still are, aren't we?'

Sayuri nodded, and her expression softened.

"Don't get me wrong," Satomi said. "It's been kind of difficult balancing our friendship with you being the club leader, but it's not as though I don't consider you a friend anymore. In fact, I'd rather be rid of that complication, but if you won't step down, I'll have to leave."

"So you mean..." I said, "that if I quit as president, you wouldn't leave?"

"Well, yeah," Satomi said. "But you can't just quit, can you? The club needs you, or at least you think it does."

I paused to think. It would indeed be irresponsible to abandon the club on a whim, but the situation seemed simpler than I'd imagined. For now, though, I knew what I had to do, so I folded the letter and slid it across the table.

"Let me make a deal with you, Satomi," I said. "I'm going to give this letter back to you for now. If, by the end of the play, you still want to resign, you can hand it to me again."

Satomi did not try to re-submit the letter, but nodded, and put it back in her bag.

"Deal," Satomi said. "Just don't hold your breath that I'll change my mind."

I nodded. I'd known for a long time that Satomi disagreed with me, but while it was too much to convince her to change her mind, I appreciated that she respected my authority. Unfortunately, while she was fulfilling her duties by staying around long enough to play her part and give me advance notice, this isn't what I wanted. I knew that she enjoyed acting, but didn't want her to give it up like this.

We didn't talk about Satomi's resignation for the rest of lunch, and instead changed the subject to other things. Forced as it may have been, I was reminded of how it was often more fun to talk as two friends, rather than as club president or club member. Perhaps Satomi wanted to do so more often, and so did I, but I didn't believe she had to give that up.


After School

After practice, once Satomi went home with a curt goodbye, I called Yu-san into the hall and spoke with him.

"Yu-san, Satomi told me that she was planning on resigning," I said. "Did she speak to you about that at all?"

"I can't answer that," Yu-san said.

"So in other words, she did and swore you to secrecy," I said. "That makes sense, since she has confided in you."

"If you've figured that much out, I will tell you this," Yu-san said. "Satomi doesn't agree with you, but she's trying not to take your decisions personally. She's disappointed that she's no longer getting out of this club what she wants."

"Well,the same has been true for me for a while now," I said. "I suppose I learned to live with the disappointment, while Satomi never did."

The first half of my conclusion was a lie I'd told myself. I'd never stopped wanting to achieve my goals, but only believed that I could do so once I'd stabilized the club. As that preliminary goal seemed ever more elusive as time went on, so did my ultimate goal, but since I couldn't even leave without achieving the former, I had to stay regardless of how I felt.

"In any case," I said, "I convinced Satomi to hold off on doing anything for now, so once the play is over, I'll ask her again."

"That sounds like the most you can do for her," Yu-san said. "I tried talking to her, but couldn't think of anything to say."

As Yu-san seemed unusually helpless, we dropped the conversation for now, but I knew that it wouldn't be so easy to forget. One way or another, in a month and a half, I'd be confronted with the issue again, but would I be prepared to deal with it then? It was just like how I'd put off finding a replacement as club president for so long that I essentially implicitly chose to serve in that role.

A part of me blamed myself for this happening, not just as a friend but as a president. As a president, it was my duty to provide a good club atmosphere, and since it was based on people willingly cooperating with each other and trying their hardest, enjoying oneself was not a trivial concern. Perhaps Satomi was by no means the only one unhappy about how things were, but she was the only one who had enough courage and trust in me to make her feelings known.

What had I accomplished, apart from keeping the club together? Was I merely standing by and waiting for someone better to take up its leadership in the future? Was the club as it was now simply like a vase I'd made in art class, glued together and barely intact because I couldn't stand to leave it in pieces? I couldn't find a definite answer to any of these questions, much less one that I liked, save for the fact that time was running out.


Author's Notes

Thank you for the reviews, favorites and follows.

I don't have much to say this time, except for the fact that this was a development I'd planned for a while, and one that will lead into the final stages of the arc (I'd estimate that in social link terms, we're up to Rank 7 or so, the part in which things come to a head and force breakthroughs at Rank 8, with the last two ranks being a denouement of sorts).

I'm hoping to get at least one more chapter out before Persona 5 comes out, even if the next chapter's in a relatively rough state. Updates may be a bit slower for a while once P5 comes out, but I hope to make some progress on future chapters, particularly those in October and November.

Edited to fix some mistakes.