101 Attempts- Did you forget?
Title: See you in hell
A/N: Author's Note. Blargh.
._.
Allen wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to do this or not.
By not doing it, he would be subjected to the rest of his life to suffering by the hands of his master, Cross. He could not do it, and hopefully go to heaven when he died, whereas Cross would be sent straight to hell. While this was probably the better option, and the wait wouldn't be too long considering their line of work, Allen didn't know if heaven would accept him. He didn't even know if he would be reincarnated again or something. So, the other option, doing it and having a definite but somewhat painful result seemed more appealing.
Doing it meant that he could finally escape his master, but Allen felt uncomfortable summoning the devil in a heavily religiously influenced environment.
It's a relief that Link-san is asleep Allen thought as he drew up his little satanic circle. As the book in front of him instructed, he sacrificed a living being, so with Lavi and Kanda's help, they killed Chaozii. It wasn't like anyone really cared about him anyways. Lavi allowed Allen to do this because he thought Allen's attempts to escape his master were amusing, whereas Kanda did it because he wanted to see Allen literally sell his soul to the devil. Allen was glad he had such wonderful friends.
He felt like an idiot, chanting to the mirror (that they had stolen from Lenalee), but soon enough a dark figure appeared. No, it wasn't that creepy shadow guy, but he was there too, making faces at them.
"So you're willing to sell your soul to the devil," the being rasped. Then he cleared his throat and took a drink of water. When he spoke again, his voice was much clearer. "Idiot."
The devil sounded familiar, but Allen nodded anyways.
"So what do you want, idiot?" the devil sighed. From what Allen could see, the shadow figure was sitting back on a couch with two women beside him.
"Allen, is that your master?" Lavi asked quietly.
"Don't be silly, Lavi," Allen smiled at his friend. "I know I said my master was the devil incarnate, but he can't actually be a demon." He turned back to the mirror, where the figure coughed nervously into his elbow. Allen wondered if the devil could get sick. "Speaking of my master," he started to catch the figure's attention, "in exchange for my soul, I want you to keep him away from me."
The devil was silent for a few moments, swishing the wine in his glass around gently while he thought about Allen's request.
Eventually he nodded, and stood to find something. He came back with a paper, which he somehow handed to Allen through the mirror.
"If you sign that, you'll be free from Cross Marian," the devil put extra emphasis on Cross's name, "but I'll be your master for the rest of eternity. You'll also receive immortality, a twenty-five dollar gift card for Target, a coupon for that pizza place nearby, whatever else I have in my pocket, and also a couple melons as a side. I can never seem to get rid of them, so help yourself. But," he pointed his finger at Allen, "you'll have to do whatever I say without complaint."
Allen had already signed the contract before the devil finished his warning. He had got him there back at the pizza coupon.
The devil was surprised that Allen hadn't figured out who he was yet, and let out a bark like laugh when Allen gave the paper back to him.
"There's also a small fee you have to pay," the devil snickered.
"How much?" Allen took out his wallet hurriedly.
The devil paused, unable to believe how dumb this kid was.
"Whatever you have on you, I guess," the devil shrugged. "I didn't really expect you-"
"Shut up and take my money!" Allen threw his wallet at Satan, who caught it on the other side. He opened it and sifted through it approvingly.
Once again, Lavi whispered his thoughts into Allen's ear.
"Allen, I genuinely think that's General Cross on the other side," he looked at the mirror nervously.
"Lavi, he offered melons," Allen smiled at his friend's naivety. "Cross would never burden someone with those, unless General Socalo dropped off another crate in his room."
"Didn't you say General Socalo has been putting loads of melons in General Cross's room to piss him off?" Lavi wasn't buying it, and Allen didn't know where he was going.
As if to prove Lavi's point, the devil abruptly stood to face someone else in the room.
"Socalo, get those damn melons out of here!" he shouted at the other shadow figure in the background. Offended, the women got up to leave, and the devil was left all by himself with the melons. The devil let out a dejected sigh and sat back down, kicking the fruit away from him. "Allen, you're starting your job tomorrow morning. Pack your bags and meet me outside your room at eleven."
The devil signed off and Allen stared at the mirror for a few moments, then decided to clean up the mess before Link woke up and realized what they were doing. Allen thought it was odd that the devil would want to meet him in person, but he kept quiet as they threw Chaozii's body out the window and scrubbed at the markings on the floor. He didn't care if he had to start work as a slave right away; it was better than having to deal with Cross.
...
As promised, Allen stood outside of his room with his luggage in hand. Link was behind him, recording his every movement into his journal. Allen shifted his weight onto one leg while he waited, and then to the other leg. Link wrote that down in his journal, and Allen told him to take a picture since it would last longer. Link followed up his suggestion, only he took ten. Then he started to scrapbook it into his notes.
At eleven, Cross showed up to grab Allen by the collar and drag him away.
"Master, what are you doing?" Allen demanded. "I'm waiting for someone!"
"Yeah, and here I am," Cross removed his black hat to reveal devil horns that protruded from his skull. "You sold your soul to me; now get to work."
Allen was confused.
"Wait, but the contract..."
"Agreed to keep you away from Cross Marian," he stressed to his apprentice. "But that's not really my name. So now not only did you fail to escape, you also sold your soul to me. Sucks to be you," Cross shrugged.
Allen bit his bottom lip to stop himself from crying. In the end, Lavi had been right about Allen's master literally being a demon. He should have listened to him, but he was used to shooting down any of Lavi's conspiracy theories that anything he said was immediately invalid.
"Do I at least get the pizza coupon?" he asked meekly. Cross dropped him in front of his room, opened the door and pointed to the stacks of melons sitting on his bed and couch.
"Get to work, idiot slave," he ordered. "Otherwise you sleep on the floor tonight."
Allen spun around just as Lavi materialized put of no where to make a perverted joke, but cut him off by punching him in the face.
"NO PERVERTED JOKES!" Allen shouted at his friend. "I'm sick of these sexual innuendos. I can't handle it anymore!"
"Bow chicka bow wow-" Lavi cut in, but Allen stopped him from going any further by shoving him out of the room, locking the door so he couldn't get back inside. Cross didn't seem to mind, but he looked nervous, what with being trapped in a room filled with melons. Allen opened the nearby window and started the toss the fruits outside. He watched as the first one landed on Kanda's helmet, splitting in half perfectly and falling to the ground. Kanda didn't notice and continued moving along on his Segway.
"So am I sleeping on the couch?" Allen inquired, ignoring the flashes in his face from Link's camera.
Cross rolled his eyes and answered sarcastically. "No, you sleep in the fucking closet."
"... Master, if that was sarcasm, you're not very good at it. You've made me sleep in the closet before, remember?" Allen frowned, unsure of whether he would be sleeping on the floor, or be trapped in the closet.
Cross scratched his head and sat down on his bed when Allen removed the melons.
"Yes, that was sarcasm," he clarified to his idiot. "Unless you want to pretend to be nine again and share a bed, yes, you're sleeping on the couch." He leaned back to relax while Allen got rid of the last of the melons. Allen didn't think this was too hard of a task, but if Socalo was determined, he would have to put up with this every day.
"I'll sleep on the couch," Allen rejected the idea. Then he glanced at it thoughtfully, recalling the scene from yesterday. "I'll have to sterilize it first, though. Who knows what you've done on there."
Cross wasn't put off by Allen's insinuation.
"The cleaning supplies are next to the dresser."
Allen did not deign to respond to that. Instead, he turned on the TV to have some noise on, because he didn't want to deal with his master's rambling.
._.
In case You Missed It
Attempt: Selling his soul to the devil in exchange for freedom from Cross...
Foiled: ... But not from the devil, who just so happens to be Cross.
Back to Link's scrapbooking. I think I might actually do something with that, but we'll see.
Allen: No, you guys don't understand he is literally the devil
Lavi: I warned you man. I told you.
