Chapter 52: Truth and Promises
Author Note: This is a NSFW chapter
I keep to the familiar shadows on my way to Darktown. No bandits, no gangs. The streets seem a lot more subdued these days. I don't really want to give her the credit, but maybe Hawke's influence can do some good. I think about Isabela's ship and smile.
Anders is alone again in the clinic. I walk in, and shut the door behind me.
He looks up when I shut the door, but doesn't move toward me. "I'd half hoped you would change your mind about this."
"Never," I say, smiling at him. If he won't come to me, I'll go him. I take a few steps before his expression changes. He's looking down at my hand and frowning.
"You're injured. What happened?" he asks, immediately concerned.
I give a sigh of frustration. "I guess we're doing the talking thing first then."
He exhales, shaking his head, and walks toward me. He puts an arm around me. "Trust me, I definitely have other things I'd like to do too. But this comes first," he insists.
I smile. Good, he's still himself. I was worried.
"So I went to see Fenris, right? But he wasn't at home. He was at the Hanged Man, with Danarius." I explain, and see his eyes widen in surprise.
"How is it I always miss everything?" he asks, shaking his head.
"You didn't want to be there, it was a disaster. There were slavers, and demons. Danarius himself was one tough son of a bitch. When it was over, Fenris went after his sister, who had tricked him into meeting her. I went to stop him, but then this happened. I thought his markings just made his body intangible. I had no idea it would do this."
He peels back the bandages, and hisses when he sees the burn.
I tell him, "I tried healing it with magic, and even drank a potion on the way here. Nothing works."
He examines it with a practiced eye. "This looks like spirit damage. Norah...what were you casting at the time?"
"I wasn't, I just wanted to calm him, to make him come to his senses. I knew he'd feel worse if I let him kill his sister."
"Are you sure? Were you holding your staff at the time?"
"Well yes, but I don't see...wait, you think I cast something by accident?"
"It would explain what I'm seeing. Your spell must have conflicted with Fenris's markings somehow."
My mind races and I'm flooded with memories. A drunken Anders clinging to my hand, Fenris and I sleeping next to one another to keep the nightmares away, bringing Bartrand back from the red lyrium, holding Merrill, hugging a grieving Bethany. I'd thought I was just giving them comfort, but all this time, I'd been doing something far worse.
"What are you thinking right now?" he asks.
"I think I've been doing it for a long time. I've been using magic on people and I didn't even know it." I'm horrified as I stare at my injured hand. I'm suddenly aware that Anders is still holding me. I back away from him. Confusion crosses his features.
"Maybe you weren't far off when you called me a drug. I thought I was just comforting them, but I think I've been influencing people's minds this whole time, Anders. If that's true, I'm no better than a blood mage," I cry, shame coloring my words. I feel a tear slide down my cheek. "No wonder Talon wanted to find me. I assumed it was about Cat, but it has to be this."
"Norah, love, stop," he says, putting an arm around me again. "You have a rare gift, that's all. It's unusual, but I don't think it's evil. Your intentions are good, don't let doubt cloud that for you. Your talent is probably the only reason Cat has persisted outside the Fade as long as she has. Speaking of, where is she?"
"I asked her to give us some privacy," I answer, a little embarrassed.
"Right." He chuckles and plants a kiss on top of my head.
"Then you're not afraid of me? What if you only have feelings for me because of my magic?" I ask, feeling sick.
"I don't think that's even possible," he states. "I don't see this ability as any different than your music. You can create a better mindset, a stronger will with your singing. This is just another manifestation. You and your gift are the reason I fight for mages. If you had been in a Circle, they probably would have wanted to make you Tranquil out of fear. But as far as I can tell, you've never harmed anyone with it, only helped. If anything, it makes me love you even more."
I doubt he could have said any sweeter words to me than that. "Anders..." I say, looking up at him. He plants a quick kiss on my lips, but steps away from me after that.
"I have a balm that's specific to spirit damage. It should help."
He grabs a flask from the other side of the room. The balm does indeed help, and I watch as the skin starts to heal. After a few minutes, all that remains is a vine-shaped scar. I guess I'll probably always have it as a reminder.
"Does it still hurt?" Anders asks.
"No," I say, flexing my fingers. "I think it's okay now."
"Good. Now I can focus on other parts of you," he says, a sparkle in his eyes.
"Oh." I giggle. "I missed you, Anders."
"Love, you have no idea," he replies, and kisses me. I kiss him back, pouring my emotion into it. I love this man. He slides his fingers along my jaw, and trails one finger down my neck. I moan into his mouth.
Practiced hands caress my body. I ache for him, and start pulling at his clothing. I want him, now. I don't think I can wait.
"Sweet Norah, always so impatient," he mutters. He grabs my hand and leads me toward the bed. He sits down, leaning against the wall and motions for me to sit on his lap. I grin at him, and reach up under my skirt to pull off my panties. I toss them aside, along with my cloak.
"I don't want to wait, Anders; I want you now, please," I beg, crawling over to him. He pulls me on top of him, bunching up my skirt around my hips. I, in turn, tug at fastenings of his robes, opening them to reveal his bare skin.
"Show me, Norah, love. Show me that you want me," he says, looking at me with his eyes bright with passion.
I reach between my legs to grab hold of his length, and guide him inside me. I lower myself slowly, and I whimper at the sensation. Anders leans up to capture my lips in a kiss, his hands kneading my breasts. I ride him, gently at first, then with rising intensity.
"I love you," he says between kisses.
"I love you too," I say back to him. He grabs my hips and stills me, only to arch his own, controlling the rhythm of our bodies moving together. I cry out his name as he pushes me to a climax, but he isn't finished yet.
He pulls me closer, our chests now touching, his breath hot next to my ear. He growls a familiar word, "Mine."
"Always," I respond on a sigh. I cling to his shoulders as our movements change again, and I can tell he's close. His arms squeeze me in a tight hold, and he thrusts upward into me fiercely one last time.
We stay connected for a moment, sharing feather-light kisses. I shift off of him, and move to lay by his side, our faces turned toward one another. He grasps my hand.
"I had given up hope of ever touching you like that again," he comments.
"So you don't want me to change my mind anymore?" I joke.
"Shush, love, perish the thought. Actually," he says, tracing the new lines of my scar, "I have a thought about your power."
"What's that?" I ask.
"When you were gone, I was lost. It was foolish, but I couldn't bear to blame you for leaving, so I blamed the templars who came for you that forced your hand. Justice and I saw enemies around every corner. But then you came back, and Maker, when you kissed me...I think it helped clear my mind a little. I feel more like myself than I have for a long time. I don't know if that's magic, or just you."
"Whatever the reason, I'm glad you're still you," I tell him, squeezing his hand.
"For as long as it lasts," he sighs, the mood suddenly broken. "Don't forget your promise to me, Norah."
"I haven't," I promise, my tone serious. I raise our joined hands to my lips and kiss his knuckles. "But you're not beyond saving yet. Oh, that reminds me. The information I got from my contact. Apparently the Avvar people have a ritual to release a spirit from a host body. Of course, the spirit has to be willing to leave. Do you think Justice would cooperate?"
"I'm not sure, maybe. He seems determined to help the mages here. I don't know if he will be willing to leave until..."
"Until after the thing you can't tell me about," I finish, sighing in frustration.
"Yes," he states plainly. "Everything will change after that. I'll finally be able to take my place among free mages."
That's kind of cryptic, the way he said that. "Then I'll start planning out our trip."
He doesn't say anything to that for a few minutes. And then, finally, he sighs. "Get some sleep, Norah, we can talk about it again in the morning."
