Got nothing to say. I just hope that this chapter is enjoyable to you all and that the characters are believable.


Lux's POV

As we walked back, I couldn't think much at all about how we (the Rebels) are able to survive this struggle to free my home. I know it is of extreme importance and honor, but I couldn't focus on my original purpose. It felt so irrelevant compared to tonight. I mean dinner with Ahsoka! And alone! I never felt so excited for a meal in all my life, and yet here I was squirming in my shoes as I anxiously waited for daylight to come and end.

Despite the possibility the date might lead to nothing rewarding, I still felt that this was a perfect moment to..., to what? She already knows that I love her, so the element of surprise is drastically against me... I-I just wanted to get a sense that she might love me. I would have no one else for the rest of my life if I failed... She was so beautiful... It probably seems hardly romantic to her while we both are on a desperate mission..., unlike Raxus (the irony of that was gnawing my insides).

Would she be in the mood to, you know, 'go along with the ride'? There's been an attempt on her life here. She isn't going to feel like this would be a perfect moment... *Sigh* All this night is going to do is redo what already has been done, argue the same arguments from yesterday.

"Lux, I sense you're worried about me." Ahsoka grabbed my hand, still sparkling and clammy with sweat. "Relax. We now have foothold to go against this assassin. I am confident that we will prevail."

I said nothing... Why am I so selfish? All I am worrying about is having a special night for myself, not worry about Ahsoka's safety. Why...? Because all I care about is to cure my stubborn distress, and the only way I can do so is use Ahsoka to fill the hole in my heart...

"I... I know, 'Soka... I know..." We were in the alleyway to the Workshop.

"Thank you..., so much... I..." She sighed, almost out of spite. "I am grateful for your help... You don't know how much I need you now."

Ahsoka used the Force to unlock the door due to the fact that Lando wasn't inside.

So Ahsoka turned on her holotransmitter. "Come on, come on, come on, come on!" She muttered under her breath, simply voracious to make contact with her investigator. "Barriss!"

"Ahsoka, did you find anything? I'm in the middle of looking up-."

"I do, Barriss. I do!" Ahsoka interrupted.

"Oh..., really?"

"Yes... The assassin carried some kind of bio-weapon that he injected into me. It wasn't meant to be lethal, only agonizing."

"Wait, how did you find out!?" She seemed surprised at how quickly we were able to find backup information.

"A medical droid took a blood sample on me."

"What droid...? I mean, your Master Skywalker hasn't told me anything about lending any droids."

"No, it wasn't a loan one... That Calrissian boy had a droid to help me."

"Lando Calrissian? The child who sent me that report?"

She sighed. "The same."

Barriss looked to the side, her eyebrows furrowed making me confused at what she might be thinking... "Interesting... What did the sample say?" Barriss continued to press.

"Not much. Other than that it contains a certain diluted substance called: Ryll."

"Can you spell that?" Barriss quickly got on her computer again.

"R-Y-L-L... What does the Archives say?"

There was this long silence, with not a sound other than that of noisy typing from the Mirialian. "Ryll: It is a spice."

"What?" We both said at the same time, incredulous.

"From what the Archive database says, Ryll is supposed to be a weak spice that is used in certain foods found on certain planets of the Outer Rim."

"Is there any 'medical' influence that the spice gives?" Ahsoka was growing more and more anxious for answers.

"Surprisingly..., yes... Mixed with glitterstim, which is a drug that comes from the webs of Energy Spiders that come from Kessel-"

"Is that potent?" Ahsoka interrupted again.

"No, but it is addictive..." I edged little by little to get closer to Ahsoka, see the vibrant color of her headtails in all their glory. But what Barriss said next immediately got a hold of my attention. "The source says that 'glitterstim is often used in Black Market sales'." The Black Market? Does Ahsoka have any enemies with someone who works in the Black Market? "

"The Black Market?!" I exclaimed, alone this time. It was then that the Jedi Knight got a look of me.

"Who's this?" She questioned, sounding out-of-her-element.

I could tell that Ahsoka did not know what to say whatsoever... I mean, we're practically dating now, so how can she possibly tell the full truth to her. "This is a friend of mine here on Onderon." Ahsoka simply put in.

Barriss almost gave a smile, slightly unsure of me or my reliability. "What's your name, sir...? And what's your relations with Ahsoka?"

I didn't know what to do. I looked to my beloved, which she gave a silent nod. "My name is Lux Bonteri, son of Mina Bonteri... Former Separatist turned patriot and member of the Onderon Rebel Alliance." I said, giving the best business tone that I could conspire.

"Really...?" Her eyes were satiable with curiosity, making me uncomfortable that I might give away something Ahsoka doesn't want to spread. "Hmmmm..., yes..., Ahsoka has told me a lot about you."

I got even more confused... Surely, this was one of the most awkward introductions I have ever had. "Like what?" Does Ahsoka trust her enough to say what our current 'relationship' is? Well, she surely trusts that Kidd Kareen to reveal that I am in love with her... I grew even more wary knowing how easily my 'Soka is able to talk about me to people I don't know.

"Well, not much..." She muttered. "Other than she saved your life on Mandalore..., and Carlac... Makes me curious why she would..., do such things..., for you..." Her stare was close to a glare. "How long have you two been friends?" Her attention went back to Ahsoka.

"Well..., not very long..." Ahsoka muttered, not very used to keeping information from her friends very often. "Less than a year... Why?"

Barriss looked at me, then back to Ahsoka, then back to me again. "You two seem so close to each other..." Her smiled widened. "Mister Bonteri..., can I speak with Ahsoka alone?" I looked at Ahsoka, anguish in my eyes, with untold truths locked away in a greater war...

"No..." I remarked simply. "I should hear about this too..., if you're going to talk about me." Ahsoka closed her eyes in embarrassment...

"Lux!"

I stared at the Knight's eyes. And if it weren't for the azure fizz of the hologram, I would have seen her lip curl slightly. "You are a stubborn one, aren't you?" She said, without any tone... Just an ominous and regular voice.

"I am..." I pronounced flatly.

I looked at Ahsoka, and in her eyes..., I saw only torment... Like I was betraying her trust in me. What am I doing? By announcing myself with pride, I make a fool out of her! Why!? Why is it that everything I gain, I lose something else in the process!?

I felt Ahsoka grabbing my hands, despite the fact that she was doing this in front of her Jedi friend. "Please...," Anguish sundered in her smooth-slid voice. "Do this for me..." Whispering so silently that I could barely hear her.

I looked at Barriss, a shocked face now etched in her... What have I done?! Did I reveal our secret to her!? To a member of the Jedi!?

But surely she herself can keep a secret. Ahsoka trusts her so much.

Secrets... Pah! Secrets are the energy for blackmail... There is never such a thing as a 'safe' secret!

"Of... course..." I looked into Ahsoka's eyes, slightly wet along the brim of her lower eyelashes.

Then I did exactly as she wanted me to, even though it was exactly what I didn't want to... I left them to talk... And this time, I chose not to eavesdrop...It would only hurt her... And I swear that I would prevent doing that again, no matter what the consequences are...

What is my reasoning to commit with that? She is too beautiful... I haven't known her for very long. I didn't grow up with her. I sometimes blatantly prove that I don't understand her way of thinking... How could I? She's a girl. So, what is it in them that makes them truly beautiful. Someone please tell me the answer!?


Ahsoka's POV

We were alone, my best friend and I... And by now, I couldn't grasp who I am most compatible with: Lux or Barriss.

"Ahsoka...," Barriss asked calmly. "Who is that boy?"

I gave her a wierd look, not wanting to veer in this direction. "I told you everything you need to know about him. He's a former Separatist, who chose to take matters into his own hands, but," I shrugged, " was sadly not wise enough to survive on his own... He..., he kinda needs me to protect him..."

She looked into my eyes, evermore deeper. Was she, somehow, reading my mind? "That's not what I sense... I sense... much more..." No. No, we're not going here! Were we really that obvious!? "Ahsoka..., why do you risk your life for him?"

I tried not to stamp the nearby table. "I told you! He needs me to protect him! I'm one of his only friends left! He..., he needs me... Simple as that."

But Barriss didn't seem too sure. "He 'needs' you in what way, should I ask?" There it goes again. Why is it that Lux can never keep a subtle presence around me. Then Barriss said to me something that I never wanted her to find out. "He... He loves you, doesn't he?" She muttered.

No, no, no, no! She can't know! She can't suspect! "And what makes you believe that?"

"Oh, nothing really..." She gave some dry sarcasm that I hardly ever heard from her before. Great Lux! Now you raised her suspicions and her ire! "Other than that look in his eyes whenever I ask him a simple question about you... You just don't get it, do you?"

I understood a lot, but I still couldn't tell where this argument was going. "What don't I get?" I asked, trying not at all to demonstrate a threatening tone.

"You sensed how close he was to you, hmmm!?" I knew he was standing close during our discussion, but how does that matter? Even friends can do something like that.

"So what!?"

"He was edging closer and closer to you, until I could have sworn he was breathing down your neck... How could you not have sensed that?"

I raised my hand to cool down what has already been irrationally heated. "Barriss, it's nothing... It-It's just an infatuation." I lied. "Once we part, he'll get over it."

"I'm not asking if he could get over it... I am asking why you are not trying to push him away... He is revealing a vulnerable side to you. A side that your enemies can easily use against since he needs so-called 'protection' all the time... That's why the Jedi have rules against attachment. Honestly, does anybody in the Order seem to care about our sacred principles!?" She spoke out, raising her anger to an even greater extent.

"But even you can be vulnerable... Haven't you told me long ago how you had feelings for-"

She stood up as well. "That happened when I was a youngling! I didn't know any better! But you are slowly becoming a Knight. You can't advance in training if there's always someone hanging on your bell all day, begging like a dog, pretending he can't go anywhere else without being close to you. How can you remain a Jedi if you're always bending the rules-"

"Well, what if I DON'T WANT TO BE A JEDI!" Those words exploded out of my mouth without second thought... And after that, I cringed in horrible . I never felt most dishonorable in all my life. If my Master were to see this, he would give me up as a padawan... I know he's attached to me, but I also know that even he has his limits. This mission was going too far... How can I put one boy in front of all my teachings, all my friends I grew so close to!? Everything that makes me, me?! Who I am today no longer resembles that youngling I was not so very long ago... Before this whole war...

Barriss, my 'best' friend, spoke up one last time. "Sorry... I-I suppose I was wrong about you..., about me... I train so hard to become the best Jedi that it simply isn't possible anymore. And now I'm a misfit for being too traditional... Farewell, best friend... I'll give you a detailed report about Ryll as soon as I can."

Then she hung up without giving me a second thought.

Who am I? How can I break something so pure? Barriss was always by-the-book, always someone who could never be broken... Do I know her that well to understand what she's going through? No... I enjoy fighting. I enjoy being in the front lines, feeling the adrenaline course into my veins... To me, there is nothing more enjoyable than that...

But for Barriss, it is quite the opposite... She hides her emotions so far beneath that she never wishes to express herself. She's too modest for that... And right now, I hurt her...

How can I forget that again? I can't! All I can do is ignore these emotions traveling through me. They may not be an evil, but they sure are distracting in a time of need...

But Lux is always distracted with me as well... Why? Why does he hold on to me so much...? And why do I hold on to him so little...? Is it right or wrong? And how does this all happen in the first place?

I couldn't bury my emotions any further. Barriss may have an expertise to do that, but I don't... I need to talk to someone to share my struggle, share a secret to help me understand better, with a totally different background and mind's eye than Barriss has...

I hurriedly dialed in a number on my comlink. It would be a long shot if he was able to answer at this given moment, but he sure would be happy to get my call... Then, from the display, a familiar Twi'lek appeared. "Kidd..." I welcom so sullenly...

He was, naturally, surprised to see me. "Ahsoka, what happened? Are you hurt?!" He asked rushed, almost losing his easy-going accent.

"No... I need advice, Kidd..."

He gave me a look. "What happened? Do you need me there?"

It was my turn to give him a look, "What!? No, no, no, I just want to ask a question..."

The corner of his lip quivered, unsure with my intent. "Alrigh'! Lay it on me."

Not knowing how to approach this, I burst out my question with a relative amount of embarrassment. "Kidd, what do you see in women?"

"What?" His voice cracked as if he didn't hear me right.

"I said," This time speaking a lot more slower, "What do you see in me that's so special?"

He paused, then shrugged... "I... I don't know how to answer that... You're a pretty flower, I got to hand it to you... But, other than that... I can't recall... There must be something more, I know there is... But all I can feel is..., freedom... Freedom to be with..., a woman who has a special background than most... I... I really can't answer it..." Then he looked back up to me. "Why? Is that Bonteri boy pushing the boundaries too far!?" He snarled in a tone of ownership.

"No, no... It was I who was wrong... I misjudged him."

"You what!?" He sounded flabbergasted.

"Kidd, you don't rule over my life."

"I know that, Little Lady," I let his surname for me slide, "I... I'm just worried... I-I'm always worried..."

"About what?" I asked, earnest to know more, to understand more; because I haven't got any answers that I wanted so far.

"That... That I might lose you to-... That we might not meet in person again after the war... I-I have so many plans for our next meeting. I wanted to show you my new pod that I made for you once-"

"Kidd, that's lovely of you, but it surely isn't necessary..."

His face was blank once again. "Then what is 'necessary' to you anymore?"

I shook my head... "Nothing... I just need to understand the other side that I can't understand with, well, boys... For tonight..."

"Oh...," He seemed relatively surprised. "What's going on?"

I was prepared to answer, but then hold my tongue. I may love the idea, but he surely wouldn't... "Nothing... Just nothing... I simply want to move ahead with my..., my life... That's all..."

He looked frank for one last time... I could surely assume that this sudden conversation caused more stress than relief... "Well, I wish you luck with whatever that shall happen... And, hey!" He pointed a passive finger at me..." I'll be- I'll be seeing you soon..."

"And I'll be excited once the war is over, too..." I answered one more time before hanging up... After that, I felt nothing short than guilt-stricken.


More problems... Slowly continuing the story... I hope you all definitely enjoyed the read nonetheless!

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!