"The Harmony Bond"
Chapter Fifty-four.
By Brian Grove
Brian at rescueddoggies dot com
Disclaimer – I don't own HP. Bet you never knew that!
Help with "Britishisms"? "thesiteofbrian DOT com SLASH cultural" or see link in my profile.
In the previous chapter...
With Harry and Hermione petrified, Susan and Luna go to see Hogwarts' "monster" specialist. Minister Fudge arrests Hagrid and Dumbledore is suspended by the governors.
Not everyone was unhappy at the thought of Harry and Hermione being petrified. At breakfast the next morning Malfoy was strutting around looking so pleased with himself that if Susan hadn't known better, she'd have suspected him of being behind it.
"Best thing to happen to the Mudblood," he crowed. "And Potter always was a bit wooden."
Fred retorted, "Is that the best you can come up with, Malfoy? A bit wooden? Even saying he's stoned would be better than that."
That met with some slightly nervous laughter from the other Muggleborns there, but blank looks from most of the other witches or wizards.
To everyone's surprise, it was Professor McGonagall who replied. "Very droll, Mr. Weasley. Do we want to know why you are so familiar with Muggle slang about illegal drug use?"
Fred looked thoroughly embarrassed and a little worried until he saw a slight curve of amusement on the professor's strict face.
Annoyed at having the limelight stolen from him, Malfoy couldn't resist commenting, "That's what you get for allowing low-life Mudbloods in Hogwarts."
Professor McGonagall turned to him, coldly. "That's the second time this morning you have used that word Mr. Malfoy. Seeing as your head of house doesn't seem to be taking any action over it, I will deduct five points from Slytherin for the first time, and ten for the second time."
Malfoy looked towards Snape, whose face was rapidly contorting with anger and frustration at his 'colleague'.
"That word is not acceptable in Hogwarts or anywhere else in civilized society. If you don't want to lose more than the fifteen points you've already lost, Mr. Malfoy, I suggest you learn that, because I will double the penalty each time I hear it from you, is that understood?"
Malfoy remained silent.
"Mr. Malfoy. I am speaking to you. I asked you if you understood me."
"Yes, ma'am," he mumbled.
"I didn't quite hear you."
"Yes, Ma'am," he said with an obvious sneer.
"Very well. And for your disrespect to me, you will serve detention tonight." At Malfoy's slight smirk as he glanced at Professor Snape, she added, "And you will be serving it with me."
As the professor sat back down, Professor Snape turned to her. "Was that really necessary?"
"Yes, Severus, it was." she said icily. "I am tired of your students using foul, demeaning language towards those in other houses and I intend to put a stop to it."
As she walked away, several of the students who had been close by during the Acting Headmistress' confrontation with Malfoy formed a loose huddle and wondered whether this could mark the beginning of a new regime at the school.
A little later, when the students entered the dungeon classroom, Professor Snape had charmed a piece of chalk to write the recipe for a potion on the blackboard. "Any questions?" he asked, in voice even more surly than usual.
There were none. "Of course not. The insufferable know-it-all isn't here. I'm sure we all miss her and her celebrity husband." He spat out the word 'husband' as though it was something bad. "Gather your ingredients and begin at once."
Susan seethed but couldn't think of a suitable reply.
At lunch, Fred and George quietly went around the group of friends, warning each of them, "Make sure you have witnesses where you are and what you are doing after lessons today until after dinner."
"You mean you're up to something?" Susan asked.
"Us?" asked Fred, looking offended.
"Up to something?" asked George.
"Yes," Susan replied. "What are you up to? No. Forget I asked. I don't want to know."
"Don't worry. They won't be able to prove it was us. And we've warned all of you."
"Except Harry and Hermione," added George.
"But they've got a rock-solid alibi," finished Fred.
Susan groaned. "Ouch. With jokes like that, you're not related to Malfoy, are you?"
Rather than looking hurt, Fred gave a decidedly Malfoyish sneer and replied, "Unfortunately, much as it pains us to admit it, we probably are, distantly."
"Not distantly enough," added George.
At dinner there was some laughter from the Slytherin table and angry words between them.
Professor Snape stood up and opened his mouth to speak. He began to breathe loudly as though he were wheezing. Finally, he managed to say, "What is going on?" before wheezing again.
"It's Malfoy, professor. He's speaking funny."
"Speaking funny, I am not," Malfoy protested in a rather squeaky voice.
The professor wheezed again. "I don't know what you are playing at, Mr. Malfoy," wheeze... wheeze... The professor was becoming more and more annoyed, especially as there was obvious giggling from three of the four tables, "but you are already in enough trouble. Try to behave."
"There is no try," Malfoy replied.
"Detention with me, tomorrow," the professor wheezed.
"Help it, I cannot. My fault, it is not."
By this point the entire Muggleborn population of the school burst out laughing while the others looked puzzled.
Snape got up and stormed towards the twins, but was intercepted by Malfoy, who waved his hands in front of the professor and said, "These are not the droids you are looking for."
All of the Muggle-born students were quietly dying with laughter in their seats; having recognized the sound of the voice and the breathing immediately, as well as the bits of dialog, as being from one of the most popular Muggle films of all time. Ron, struggling to speak from laughing so much, finally managed to say, "I told Mum it was dangerous letting the twins watch all those Muggle films."
Professor Dumbledore, who was quietly enjoying the discomfort of his potions professor, called out to him, saying, "Professor Snape. Perhaps you'd better let Madam Pomfrey take a look at you." Then, as the angry professor stormed from the hall, Professor Dumbledore turned towards the twins with an amused expression on his face.
After dinner Ernie went up to the twins and said, "Brilliant. First time I actually enjoyed listening to Malfoy."
"We thought Flitwick would look better in the part, but decided Malfoy deserved it," Fred replied.
"Just one thing. If you don't want to give Harry a heart attack on the spot, don't have Snape go up to him and say 'Harry, I am your father'."
Afterwards, in the Gryffindor common room, Fred admitted, "I kinda miss Hermione telling us off after a prank. It's just not the same."
"Hermione tell you off?" Ron asked.
"Every time," said George. "She said if the thought of a spell makes us giggle for more than five minutes, we aren't allowed to do it."
"Not that that stopped you," laughed Ron.
"Hey, she's Harry's ball and chain, not ours."
"So what you planning on next?" Ron asked.
"Say, we can't," Fred replied smugly.
"Telling, that would be," added George, then tried to do a wheeze but ended up coughing.
That evening, Susan and Luna crept down to Myrtle's bathroom. "So, you don't know what it was that killed you, but it was in here," said Susan.
"That's right. Just that it had big yellow eyes."
"And Filtch's cat was petrified just outside here. And Hermione wasn't far from here. Has anyone been in here lately?"
"Nobody comes to see me, poor miserable moaning Myrtle."
Luna explained. "Myrtle. I know what you mean. People used to pick on me too. But we think someone made the monster kill you. And someone is setting it loose again. Wouldn't you like to get revenge for whatever killed you? Are you sure nobody comes in here?"
"Nobody ever comes to see me," she repeated mournfully. As they began to turn away, she added, "even that girl. She never speaks to me. She just hisses and makes the sink open."
"Girl? What girl?"
"I don't know who she is. But she's not very nice to me. She just ignores me."
On further questioning. Then learned that the girl was small, probably a first-year and that she had flame-red hair. Susan and Luna looked at each other in disbelief.
The next morning, when the group of friends went down to breakfast, some of the older Slytherins met them. Pulling out their wands, to attack, they rapidly dropped them when the wands lit up and began making buzzing noises.
"I added an electric shock," said Fred. "Got the idea from a Muggle prank catalogue."
George had picked up the Slytherin wands and the walked into the Great Hall.
As George dumped the wands on the Slytherin table, Professor Sinestra stood up. "What is going on here?"
"Sorry, Ma'am," he answered. "But they tried to attack us and for some reason they dropped their wands outside."
The moment any of the Slytherins tried to pick up their wands, they were immediately shocked again.
"Terrible! Can't even use a wand," cried George.
"Shocking!" Fred agreed.
When the Slytherins that had tried to attack the friends were still unable to use their wands for lessons that morning, Professor McGonagall found the twins between lessons and told them, "Professor Dumbledore wishes to see you in his office. Now."
"Professor Dumbledore?" asked George.
"He's still here?" asked Fred.
Professor McGonagall smiled. "One of the privileges of being headmistress is that I can give permission for someone else to live in the castle and even use what is now officially my office."
"That's brilliant, Professor," exclaimed Fred.
"Thank you, Mr. Weasley."
"We might almost have to make you a marauder," said George.
The professor rolled her eyes heavenward. "God forbid. Hurry, now, Professor Dumbledore is waiting."
"Yes, Professor," the twins said together.
Before Professor McGonagall could react, the twins skipped off quickly towards the headmaster's office, singing, "We're off to see the wizard..." leaving her shaking her head.
At lunch, the twins walked over towards the Slytherin table. The Slytherins looked nervous.
"You know, Fred. They don't look very happy."
"They don't, George. What can we do about it?"
George walked up to one of the Slytherins and gave him a hug. "To cheer them up, we'll say it's hug-a-Slytherin day." As the school laughed, he turned to the Slytherin and said, "You can pick up your wand now."
The boy gingerly did so. Relieved when he didn't get a shock, he pocketed his wand.
Other reached for their wands, but received a shock.
"George told you. It's hug-a-Slytherin day. You have to be hugged by a Gryffindor first,"
Some of the Slytherins, desperate to use their wands again, went over to the Gryffindor table to receive hugs from the amused Gryffindors, (those who didn't shy away in disgust), then returned for the wands.
Others didn't move, so, seeing an opportunity to embarrass them, the Gryffindors moved towards them. Most were desperate enough to use their wands to allow themselves to be hugged, but as a group of first-years ran towards Malfoy, he got up and ran out of the hall, crying out loudly, "Hugged, I will not be!" followed by the group of laughing first-years.
Author's notes...
Thanks to maipigen, scout-01, gravacor, xavvi, EvilFaerie17, Pixel and Stephanie Forever and xfu-chanx, all of whom spotted my miss-spellings of Ron's name.
So far still nobody other than the anonymous reviewer "Some Guy Online" has spotted the references to a certain amusing document circulating the web. I couldn't resist making you wait a little longer as there were no clues in the previous chapter, but I promise I'll let you know what the document is in the next chapter, but as a clue – look for anything to do with Fred and George's jokes in this chapter.
Thanks to my betas for this chapter, omega13a and The_Scribbler.
Please review.
Brian
Help with "Britishisms"? "thesiteofbrian DOT com SLASH cultural" or see link in my profile.
