Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.

His hand slapped down onto the card loudly, startling her as she was about to flick her own card down on top. She yelled out in surprise and then threw her head back, laughing.

"You!" she growled teasingly, dropping her hands to her sides in defeat. Olivia laughed from her position next to Elliot on the couch. "Well, there goes all of mine." She spoke with dry sarcasm, shaking her head. "Again."

Doctor Olivet scowled good-naturedly with a twinkle in her eye and addressed the other woman then. "I think we've got ourselves a card shark here," she said. Her tone was accusing.

Olivia smiled. "Hey….don't look at me," she said, holding up her hands. "I tried to tell you." She looked over at her partner and felt a pang in her heart when she saw that he was curled back up against the side of the couch, facing the window. She tried to keep her voice bright. "Now you know why I stopped after the first game. I'm not an idiot."

Shaking her head, Elizabeth put her cards down and then awkwardly began standing from where she had been folded on the floor beside the coffee table.

"I'm going to have head out now," she said in a reluctant voice, glancing at her watch. Her face split into a mischievous smile again as she looked at Elliot. "You wait…I'm going to be practicing. We'll see who beats who next time."

Her smile became strained when she realized Elliot wasn't looking or even seeming to be paying attention to her. Her face softened sympathetically and she looked over at the female detective with trepidation in her eyes. She saw the pain and anxiety on Olivia's face and hated what she had to do but knew it was for his sake.

They were finishing up her third visit to Olivia's apartment. Elizabeth knew that Elliot was still timid about her….each time she came it took them a good ten minutes to get him away from hiding in Olivia's embrace. He still had yet to speak directly to her without some sort of neutral prompting and the only time he seemed to not be drawn up like a spring was when they were playing some sort of card game.

Olivia wasn't having an easy time accepting her repeated assurances and the doctor was making sure that she did everything she could to try and make her comfortable too. Elizabeth made it a point to call her in the evenings following each of her visits to talk about how the day had seemed from her perspective and to offer encouragement.

Doctor Olivet knew about the situation looming ahead. Olivia had told her about the grand jury trial after the first day she had visited and about how she still couldn't bring herself to break the news to him, but it had taken a test of wills for her to even consider letting the doctor be the one to take care of it.

The woman cared about her partner so much. She was trying so hard to block every thing that might possibly cause him any distress with her own soul and Elizabeth knew that she couldn't keep it up much longer. She kept urging Olivia to think about her own health and stress capability but the woman seemed to only have a one-track mind that cut off with ensuring Elliot's safety.

She still didn't know if Olivia had indeed told him about the trial but made up her mind that tonight was the night she was going to have to nail it down. She knew Olivia was hurting after their last discussion, especially once she told her about her plans for the end of today's visit, but couldn't ignore her primary duty even despite her heartbreak for the other woman.

Standing to her feet, Doctor Olivet accepted the cards that Olivia had gathered for her and tucked them back into her cloth bag. She met the woman's gaze once more with tender assurance as she stepped around the coffee table.

Elliot recoiled immediately when he saw her coming closer to the couch and began inching towards Olivia, but the doctor only perched down on the edge of the coffee table, allowing him space but still wanting to be face-to-face. His partner responded with her arm warmly across his shoulders for reassurance.

"Tell me, Elliot," Elizabeth said gently. "Do you like having me come visit you?"

He only looked at her guardedly, his face expressing his uncertainty and apprehension about her unusual close proximity. His eyes darted over to Olivia to receive a tender smile of encouragement.

He swallowed and looked back at the doctor but didn't say anything.

She smiled kindly, continuing on as if he had spoken anyway. "Do you like it when we play cards?"

He swallowed again. His nod was slight and hesitant.

Olivia could feel his fingers gripping her shoulder and it broke her heart to feel his pulse racing through his muscles. She tried as hard as she could to let him feel her reassurance while dying inside at the anticipation of his reaction.

The doctor spoke gently, her voice soothing as she kept a warm expression on her face. "How about if we take this into my office next time?" she asked invitingly. "Do you think we could do that?"

Olivia watched his face crumble slightly in panic and then he was coming even closer to her side, nearly in her lap without realizing he was doing it. His face whipped towards her, eyes terrified and pleading.

She gave Elizabeth an apologetic gaze as she wrapped her other arm across his front. Doctor Olivet shook her head to indicate she didn't mind, continuing to smile.

"It's alright," she said easily. "You just think about it, okay?" She stood up again. "I've got a conference tomorrow, so I won't be able to come back until maybe Thursday. Would that be okay?"

Elliot was now pressing his face into her shoulder and gave no response. Olivia pursed her lips sympathetically and nodded gently. "That'll be fine."

She nodded and indicated for Olivia not to worry about getting up to let her out. The other woman looked at her gratefully while still apologizing with her eyes.

"I'll give you a call," she said, nodding again. "Bye, Elliot…bye, Olivia."

He sighed into her shoulder. She rubbed her hand tenderly across his back while watching the doctor open the door.

"Bye, Elizabeth," she said softly, smiling gently as the other woman turned back to close the door behind her.

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She was just about to close the front door behind her when the phone rang. Cursing lightly, Melinda pushed it back open and dashed through the screen door back into the house.

The phone rang three more times before she skidded to a stop in front of the breakfast bar and reached for it.

"Hello?" she answered breathlessly.

"Hi…Doctor Warner?"

Melinda recognized the voice but couldn't stop the surprise that welled up at hearing it through her house telephone. Though they professionally respected each other, she and Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak almost never socialized outside of work-related situations.

Which meant, she knew immediately, that most likely she was about to hear something that was going to make her tense.

"Casey," she replied, trying to swallow her sudden nervousness. "Hi…how are you?"

Forty miles away, seated behind her desk and anxiously tapping a pencil against the wood, Casey took a breath to calm her nerves.

What the hell are you so uptight about? You've asked this of her how many times before?

She exhaled through her nose shakily.

But how many of those times involved a close friend and circumstances that you still can't seem to believe are actually happening?

"Doing well," she said, a little too quickly for fear of her breath exploding out. "Doing well." She swallowed and prayed the woman couldn't pick up on her nervousness. "Um…I hope I'm not interrupting something…."

"No," Melinda said, looking at her watch. "I'm just on my way to pick up my daughter from school." She paused, her brow furrowing. She didn't like the tone of the other woman's voice. "Is something wrong?"

Casey closed her eyes bitterly. Damn it.

"Well…." Knowing that the word alone was the absolute wrong choice and immediately gave her away, the attorney hurried to get it over with. "Not wrong, exactly…I need to talk to you about the grand jury trial for Elliot's case."

Now she knew why the attorney sounded so edgy.

Momentarily ignoring the fact that she was going to be late if she didn't leave soon, Melinda sank down into the nearest bar stool with trepidation.

"You need me to testify to the rape examination," she surmised heavily.

"Yes," Casey answered, her voice equally as heavy. "I'm in the process of trying to reach the attending surgeon at Mercy General…you don't happen to remember his name, do you?" She said it absently, as if she wasn't really expecting an answer.

"Robert Beck," she answered without having to think about it.

There was a startled pause from the other end. "Oh," Casey said after a moment. "Well…thanks. Thanks, that saves me some time."

Uncomfortable silence fell between them again.

Melinda couldn't understand why the news had her heart feeling so heavy.

She's asked this of me how many times before?

She blew out a breath, closing her eyes as her head sank slightly down.

How many of those times involved a close friend and circumstances that you still can't believe actually happened?

"Do you need the full report?" she finally asked, knowing that it varied depending on the case. "I've got the official printout and pictures in my office at the morgue."

"Not yet," she answered, sounding relieved. "I've got a copy of those here with the evidence, so when the time comes for the trial you don't need to worry about it. Right now I just need you to testify as to his condition and what you saw when you examined him." She paused. "I…I know it's been awhile, so if you needed to go back over them again I'd recommend doing it."

Melinda drew in a breath.

"When is it?" she asked evenly, evading the suggestion. "The grand jury hearing?"

"Right now, we're looking at the 26th of this month," Casey answered. "But depending on the judge it could be any time after the 22nd. I'll keep you updated."

There was no response, so after a moment she continued hesitantly.

"Listen….I know we're going to need to do a prep sometime beforehand but would it be alright if I took care of getting Elliot ready first?" She blew through her cheeks. "I…I have a feeling that it's going to take longer but…"

"Absolutely," she interrupted. She felt horrible just thinking about it. God…poor Elliot… "Casey, he needs first priority. I'm off from work for the next week so right now anytime is fine…don't worry about that."

"Oh, good." The attorney sounded audibly more relieved. "Good. I'll try my best to have you in here by at least the 18th...we'll see how it goes depending on when I get in touch with the other doctor."

"Not a problem," Melinda said again. She glanced at her watch again. "Um, Casey…I'm sorry to cut you off but I really need to go. My daughter-"

"No, go ahead," she responded immediately. "I just wanted to make sure to give you a heads up." Though her tone was light, the somberness was obvious as she added quietly, "Not that anyone really needs it."

Melinda couldn't remember saying goodbye or hearing the other woman say it. She realized with a start after a moment that there was a dial tone in her ear and robotically hung the phone back up.

She mechanically picked her keys back up and went back to the front door, but her earlier bounce was now gone.

Casey was a hundred percent accurate on that one. No one needed a heads up for this one.

Even though she would, there really was no need to go back over the results for examination number 1094.

She doubted she'd ever forget them.

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She couldn't mask the confusion in her voice when Olivia called and requested that she not bring the kids back with her that night to see their father, but the defeated tone in her voice made Kathy agree without probing.

Olivia had told her about the start of Doctor Olivet's visits but hadn't gone into detail about them. Now that she was aware that two more had occurred since then, Kathy had mixed feelings and didn't know what to do with them.

There was intense pain at the thought of what Elliot had gone through…she still was having trouble actually coming to terms with it after almost three months. With that came the fear that she selfishly was struggling to keep from allowing recognition.

Elliot Stabler had the power to infuriate her. He knew how to annoy her and he knew how to make her so happy that she could almost burst. He was selfish, pig-headed, stubborn, incredible, delightful, and unbelievable while still maintaining a smile and a pair of baby blues that to this day made her heart melt.

Even during a difficult marriage there had still remained a childlike expectation that he would always be her hero…her Prince Charming. No matter what they experienced, he could still slay dragons and fight flaming swords to protect her and their children.

She just still couldn't believe that even a person like that could be broken. It was so frightening…so unreal. She believe it.

Then there was the uncertainty of her standing.

They had broken each other's hearts. They had grown into a shaky marriage to discover the terrifying reality of a life spent more out of force than dreams. They had become strangers and enemies at times.

But she was still listed as his next of kin. He was still the beneficiary of her life insurance policy. She suspected he was as scared of making the changes as she was even with the official divorce title because they always avoided the topic whenever it came up.

So what did she do in a time like this?

It was painful to realize that no one had thought of considering her input when deciding how to help him. It was painful to find out that the man she had made love to for over twenty years was self-mutilating and she hadn't had a clue about it. It was painful to see his work family being relied on to care for him instead of his blood family.

It was painful to see him seeking comfort from his work partner instead of his life partner and having to act like it wasn't.

The road in front of her became blurry as the tears began falling down her face. She wiped them quickly, forcing herself to concentrate on her driving as she continued to Olivia's apartment.

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She blew through her cheeks and shook her head, listening for the sound of the water running to confirm that Kathy was still in the bathroom helping him with his shower.

Doctor Olivet responded with gentle kindness and the same unwavering reassurance that she was famous for.

"We'll just have to be patient, Olivia," she said. "It's going to take small steps."

Olivia shook her head negatively but sighed, sucking on the inside of her cheek. There was a long moment of tense silence and the doctor didn't break it.

"What kinds of small steps?" she finally asked reluctantly.

Sitting on her sofa, pajama-clad legs curled up underneath her body, Elizabeth smiled with relief before answering.

"Start out basic," she encouraged. "Take him outside when the weather gets nice." Sensing Olivia about to protest about the last attempt, she hurried on quickly. "You don't have to go anywhere…sit on the stoop in front of the building if you have to. Help him get comfortable with being outdoors."

Olivia exhaled heavily. "Okay," she said wearily.

"How are his nightmares?" Doctor Olivet continued, knowing the other woman had voiced her concern about them the last time they had spoken. "Any better?"

"No," she answered. "Not at all."

She nodded as if the detective were beside her.

"Well, that's going to take time, too," she reminded her softly. She pursed her lips gently, almost feeling the frustration coming from the other end. "The best thing I can tell you to do is just give him whatever he needs at the time. If he wants to talk about it, encourage him. If not, don't force it."

Olivia swallowed. "Alright," she echoed.

Her voice was shaking slightly now and Doctor Olivet knew she was reaching the brink of composure. It was with some hesitation that she continued.

"Okay." She blew out a breath slightly. "Once we begin visits at my office, I'll start trying to get him comfortable with his testimony…"Olivia slammed her eyes shut as pain overwhelmed her. "But…I have to be honest with you, Olivia. I can't guarantee anything. If I can't get him to talk about it…"

Her words remained open but it was more than obvious to both of them. If he wouldn't talk about it, a testimony would be out of the question.

Olivia exhaled and the words rushed out quicker than she intended. "Elizabeth, he doesn't know about the trial yet." Anguish laced her voice. "I just…I haven't..."

The doctor's words softened. "I'll take care of it," she said gently. "Once he gets comfortable with being at my office, I'll tell him about it."

There was an anxious sigh from the other end and Elizabeth grimaced sympathetically. She began to speak but Olivia did before she could.

"It's going to kill him," she said painfully. "I can't…"

Her voice broke then and she closed her eyes, her elbows sinking to rest on the table in front of her.

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It was almost nine pm when she finally made it back to Gresham Hall dorm. She stopped in front of room A607 and slid her key into the lock, sighing wearily as she pushed the heavy wooden door open.

Becky was sitting at her desk across the room, typing on her laptop intently. She swiveled around slightly when Maureen came inside the room and smiled lightly.

"Hey," she said.

Maureen flung her backpack onto her bed dismissively and flopped down after it, stretching across the twin mattress wearily.

"Hey," she replied rather awkwardly.

Roommates at New York University were randomly assigned unless students made arrangements to live with a friend and she hadn't known Rebecca Carhart from Adam at the beginning of the semester. They weren't really what she would consider friends and their social circles were complete opposites, but they were making efforts to be comfortable around each other.

The petite brunette pursed her lips gently, hesitating a moment while still turned to face her.

"So…you were visiting your dad?' she finally asked tentatively.

It was a big campus and she wasn't very well-known, but those who did know her knew about what had happened. Becky always made a point to ask how her dad was doing and though she appreciated her roommate's attempt to express that she cared, Maureen sometimes honestly wished that she wouldn't ask.

The pain cut deep but she buried it inside.

"No," she answered quietly. "Not tonight."

Something in her tone must have clued Becky in that it was a touchy subject because she just nodded.

"Oh," she said quietly.

There was a moment of awkward silence as she continued to stare in concern before quietly turning back around to her computer.

Maureen sighed again and turned further into the pillow, for the moment wishing she could just close her eyes until the morning.

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He opened his eyes with a start to find himself alone in darkness. Drenched in sweat and shaking, he blinked and tried to orient himself.

Fear and loneliness made his chest feel like it was caving. He let out a strangled cry of anguish as their faces began floating away again, leaving him trapped and alone on the beach once more.

Then suddenly a light was on and his partner was there, her voice soothing as she appeared next to his head.

"It's okay….shh, it's okay," she said anxiously, her voice slightly husky with grogginess. Her cool hands caressed his sweating forehead and then her face was next to his, her nose and lips grazing the side of his face. He felt her hand squeeze his as he tried to breathe. "I'm here, Elliot. You're alright, honey."

His breath was rapid and deep as he exhaled several times and then he was overwhelmed with exhaustion. Desperately clinging to her hand, he struggled to lean forward so that he could feel her, keep her with him.

Olivia hugged him warmly and let him rest his head against her neck while he tried to slow down his breathing,

She raked her nails gently into his scalp, making him shudder involuntarily and arch into the pleasing feeling. His eyes struggled to remain open and she kissed his temple lovingly, stroking his cheek.

"Where's Rabbit?" she asked tenderly, looking around even as she spoke for the plush object that he always slept with.

He sniffled and began looking around him with exhausted eyelids. She spotted brown plush wedged between the arm of the couch and the cushion and smiled.

"Found him," she said, reaching to pull it out.

He let out a breath and closed his fist around the animal's middle when she pressed it gently against his chest. Feeling safe at last, it was only then he allowed his eyes to close and she felt his body go limp almost instantly as the fatigue took him back into oblivion.

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There was a message waiting for her when she got to the office. Casey paused beside the secretary's desk and took the slip of paper the woman held out to her with a polite thank-you before continuing to dig for her keys.

She scanned over it as she unlocked her office door, her eyebrows rising in surprise at the unexpected words.

Date: 1/17/07

Received at: 7:43 am

For: Casey Novak

From: Dwight Haskins

Message:

Call as soon as possible.

(683)219-3421

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"Come on, honey." She tried her absolute hardest to keep her voice as gentle as possible despite her frustration. "I really…you need to drink all of it. Please."

She raised the glass of Ensure once more with a pleading expression. He scowled.

"I don't want any more," he enunciated in over-exaggerated fashion, his bitterness obvious.

"Elliot…" Olivia bit her lip, tapping into a store of patience she was worried wouldn't hold out much longer. "Sweetheart…I'm sorry." She pursed her lips and moved her hand to his shoulder.

He recoiled, pulling out of her reach and she swallowed. Her hand came back down against her knee.

"You have to keep drinking it," she said firmly. "The doctor said three cans a day…Elliot, you're barely pushing two." She softened her voice and blew through her cheeks lightly. "I'm sorry….I'm so sorry."

The look in his eyes was too much. When she felt his hand take the glass back from her, she had to look away.

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"Hello."

She tried to keep the annoyance from her voice. Even knowing that she wasn't succeeding…she really didn't care.

"What's so urgent, Haskins?" Casey asked dryly without bothering to go through formalities. "Let me just tell you…if you even attempt-"

"I'm in Buffalo, Novak." His words were so surprising that she was momentarily speechless. "There's been a rather…violent confrontation among some of my clients and I was asked to intervene."

"My heart bleeds." The bitter words were out of her mouth before she even thought about them and surprised even her.

"Look," Dwight snapped. "If it were up to me, I wouldn't even waste the breath to call you, so just save the juvenile crap." She scowled, lifting her mug to her mouth. "I'll be speaking to Judge Verella this morning…I'm sure once I'm through he'll have no problem seeing the need to move up the grand jury trial in order to start proceedings as soon as possible."

She almost spit out her coffee.

"What?" she sputtered, swallowing quickly. "You…" She could hardly form sentences through her outrage. "I…" Exhaling in frustration, Casey shook her head in utter amazement. "How in the hell…can you be so heartless? Are you making it your own personal crusade to make things as difficult on Detective Stabler as you possibly can?"

"That is so off-base that I can't even come up with an appropriate response," he growled, the ferociousness in his voice unexpected. "My job is to defend the accused…don't you dare insult my morality. I saw the man myself, for God's sake…it made me sick to see how he looked. No one deserves to feel pain like that."

She was so stunned by his admission that she could only sit motionless.

Judging by the silence that filled the phone, he apparently was stunned himself.

"I….I'm sorry," she finally stammered, feeling her face heating involuntarily. The words felt awkward and intimidating in her mouth. "You're right. That was….that was a cheap shot. I apologize."

"Don't make this personal," he continued angrily. "I'm here to do my job. My obligation…my professional loyalty….is to my clients and I intend to do everything I can to help their favor."

He sneered into the phone without being able to help it. "It's not up to us to decide guilt, Novak. If this is how you approach all of your cases, maybe you should consider a career change."

He hung up sharply, simply too disgusted to want to hear any more.

Casey realized her hand was shaking as she slowly lowered the phone down. Swallowing, she sat back in her chair.

Her vision began blurring despite her best attempts to stop it.

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Elliot remained pressed tight against the side of the couch, his face resting limply on the large pillow she had given him to sleep with the night before. One hand was clutching a blanket up near his chin to keep it in place where it was spread over his body.

Sitting by his feet, Olivia flipped through the channels for the second time. She scowled at finding nothing besides the noon news and old cooking shows playing before absently letting the remote fall from her hands onto the couch.

"Want to watch a movie?" she asked, looking over at him.

The misery on his face was obvious as he just blinked without replying. She sucked in her lip nervously.

"I think I have some cards around here somewhere," she tried again, hoping her voice sounded brighter than she thought it did. "Want me to see if I can find them?"

She heard his breath hitching by that point and she suddenly felt so helpless that it made tears come to her eyes. Getting up, she came over a few steps so that she could crouch beside his face and lifted her hand to rest on his temple.

"Elliot," she said painfully.

His face twisted when her hand made contact and when she spoke tears made their way onto the pillow beneath him. She had to swallow to keep from sobbing before she could speak again.

"Sweetheart…how can I help you? What can I do?" She swallowed again. "Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?"

He sobbed into the pillow and turned his face away from her.

Her tears crashed out then. Stroking his temple, Olivia cried beside him without attempting to make him turn back toward her.

"I love you," she choked out in anguish. Her fingers stroked his hair mechanically. "You're wonderful…you bring me so much joy, Elliot."

She swallowed and made sure to keep reassurance in her voice as she brought her other hand to his back. "It's okay…I don't mind sitting here with you. Nothing makes me happier."

His back heaved with each sob as he quietly cried against the back of the couch without turning back toward her.

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She exhaled nervously as she entered the office of her boss. Branch eyed her coolly and raised an eyebrow in greeting but said nothing, his face remaining in the gruff expression it was always in.

"She's here, Judge," he said toward the phone.

"Afternoon, Ms. Novak," Judge Verella said cordially.

Casey moved to stand beside the desk. "Hello, your Honor."

"Is it alright to take over, Arthur?" the judge asked.

The District Attorney replied immediately. "All yours, sir," he said.

"Thank you," Verella said. "Uh, Ms. Novak….I've got Dwight Haskins here in my office with me…he's informed me of an altercation between a few of the defendants while in the custody of the Erie County Holding Center." He paused. "I assume you are aware of this?"

She clenched her teeth and made sure to keep the dryness from her voice when addressing the judge. "Yes, sir," she said. "I found out about it this morning, sir."

"Then I assume you are also aware of his request to move up the date of the grand jury trial," he continued.

"Yes," she said.

"Well, good," Verella said abruptly. "Then we're on the same page." He paused slightly. "I realize that both sides are equally entitled to fair and speedy representation…but I can't ignore this."

She felt a slight lump forming in her throat.

"I can't allow the defendants to remain in holding when it becomes a danger to their safety," he went on. "Now, Ms. Novak…." He sighed softly. "I understand the victim needs time to prepare and I sympathize with the pain he is having to endure."

He really did sound sympathetic. She didn't know why, but it surprised her.

"However, I happen to agree with Mr. Haskins," he said. "Therefore, I'm going to have to declare the date of the grand jury trial moved."

The lump had become a boulder, sliding from her throat all the way to her stomach.

Jesus…

"Yes, sir," she replied quietly.

"Instead of Friday, the 26th," he went on. "The date will now become Monday, the 22nd for grand jury proceedings and the official start of trial will take the place of the original schedule on that Friday." His voice became slightly distant. "Mr. Haskins, you are to have the first group ready and prepared for this time. Is that understood?"

"Yes, your Honor." She heard Haskins' voice on the other end as well.

"Ms. Novak? Is there any reason why you feel you won't be able to comply with this?" Verella continued.

Oh…you mean besides the fact that now I've got four days to prepare my friend to reveal the most painful experience of his life?

She inhaled.

"No, Sir," she said quietly.

"Very well," the judge said. "Then I suppose I'll be seeing both of you very soon. Good day."

Branch leaned over to hang up once the line went dead. He raised his eyes to look at her, biting his lip and preparing to say something. But she just shook her head and turned around, leaving the office quietly before he had the chance.

She made it outside the office and then sank down into the nearest chair lining the hallway. Her head went down to meet her hands and she pressed her palms into her eyes hard, sighing heavily.

Why didn't I just stay with white collar crime?