Foreign desires of unforeseen transformations

Chapter 45- Blood flowers

All the dragons had returned late morning, and Toothless had shared everything with Gora; even Barf and Belch had listened but Toothless had no idea how much they actually understood. The Zippleback had however, promised him that they would always be his friend, and they had given Hiccup a very disapproving look when they returned. Gora had been supportive yet very blunt; his mouth always ran free, so Toothless knew exactly what his friend thought of the situation. Whilst Gora mainly agreed Toothless should be pissed off, he also agreed with Vissy, that he should speak to Hiccup and work it out. Toothless valued their advice and support, but Hiccup had requested that he stop loving him; the only way he could do that was to be angry and avoid him altogether. Toothless kept telling himself the same things on repeat until any justification was lost, until it was the only truth, and until the anger he felt had rooted:

'Hiccup gave up on us. He pushed me away. He demanded the impossible- ''If you love me, you'll stop loving me.'', and never even let me speak once. He took away the thing I loved the most and expected me to just accept it. It wasn't fair! I hate him! Hate him for making me believe it was all possible, hate him for showing me what love was just to take it all away, hate him for asking of me the impossible. He's selfish fucking arsehole, a noxa plifigen, and I hate him!'

This loop of thoughts only feeds the anger that Toothless initially felt. It allowed non-founded anger to tangle its way around his heart like weeds, suppressing his love for Hiccup. He hadn't been overcome with rage however; he was still able to remain calm to some degree, and enjoy the company of his ameor and best friend - even if he was hurting, but he was still withdrawn and quiet most of the time. Toothless could never use hate or anger to completely remove the love he has for Hiccup, but it was now the tool – the necessary action, that enables him to not only give Hiccup what he wants, but also allows him to cope with the grief and pain of losing Hiccup's love.

Hiccup was being ignored by everyone, even the twins were ignoring him unless it was necessary. He tried to approach Toothless, but the slitted pupils that looked at him angrily made him recoil; he barely managed to confirm that they were ready to travel to Berk.

Hiccup collected their belongings alone silently, putting them back into the bag; Toothless, Gora, and Visskara were sitting a fair distance away from him, like he was infected with something contagious. He had almost failed to keep his tears back, the guilt trying to break his resolve; it wasn't just the guilt though. The way Toothless had looked at him vibrated to his very core, shattering his determination to do what was right. By a very thin margin, he managed to keep it together.

Hiccup kept telling himself that Toothless would calm down eventually and realize this was for the best, and it had to be because the alternative could be losing him completely - he could lose more than Toothless if they were discovered. He knew was a terrible liar, and not as confident as Toothless was; he didn't trust himself to not do something stupid, and he would have been the one to give away their sordid - forbidden relationship. He was foolish to think it would ever work out for them, and he was angry at himself for letting it get as far as it did - knowing that it was wrong. He just had to focus on getting home for now, and maybe he could speak to Toothless when they were alone.

-OOO-

Toothless stood uncharacteristically still as Hiccup fixed the saddle and bags to his back, he didn't even make any noise. The tension in the air coupled with the silence, stole the joy away from the fact that they were going home, and it made the simple action of getting ready to leave immensely difficult. Even Hiccup didn't say anything until it was time to go.

''Erm… take it easy Gora, your wings still need to rest and-'' He tried, but Gora snorted looking away from him. Hiccup sighed sadly.

Gora was confident being left with the twins now - because his powers had returned, and even though he still needed to take it easy with his wings, he could at least fly again. His mother's remedies were amazing; Valka had learnt to treat dragons in her time living with them for twenty years, and she had learnt more from Gothi - and various books she had read - when she returned to Berk. He just hoped Gora's pain wouldn't return once the remedy wore off.

Hiccup turned to look at the twins knowing they were staying behind. They didn't want to part with Barf and Belch, and they were going to keep Gora company. Tuffnut and Ruffnut stopped what they were doing, and looked up at him from their position on the ground - sitting between their dragon's heads.

''Tuff, Ruff. I am sorry I snapped at you guys. Please… just look out for Gora and stay safe. Try not to do anything too destructive, and we will somehow let you know when Berk is safe for the dragons… or, keep you informed either way.''

Ruffnut didn't look convinced, she knew Hiccup had to have done something pretty bad for Toothless to be this angry at him; she was still very much on team Toothless.

''We accept your apology Chief.'' Tuffnut suddenly spoke up for them both, standing up offering Hiccup his hand. Hiccup shook it, thankful for his forgiveness.

''Wait, we do?'' Ruffnut asked in shock.

''Come on sis! Hiccup's our chief, and it's a Thorston's duty to accept the apology of the Hooligan chief.''

''I've never heard that one before.'' Ruffnut folded her arms.

''You haven't? I could have sworn… no, it doesn't matter, because Hiccup is our friend. Our friend and chief, we must forgive his wrongs so that he may prevail in his chiefly duties - to became better than he was before.'' He then leaned and whispered into Hiccup's ear. ''You can thank us later.'' Tuffnut then gave Ruffnut his 'please sis' look.

''Fine… I'll give you my forgiveness, but I'm keeping my eye on you.'' Ruffnut said, finally offering her hand to Hiccup.

''Thank you Ruff, both of you!'' Hiccup nodded with a small smile, shaking Ruff's hand. At least he had the twins talking to him again.

-OOO-

Hiccup forced his mind blank as he sat in the saddle on the way to Berk. His usual enjoyment of flying, the freedom of being in the sky, it was gone – he no longer felt connected to Toothless, no longer felt as one with his dragon.

Toothless was simply doing his duty to the dragons as alpha, and that included getting them home. He didn't want Hiccup on his back, but as angry as he was at him - he wouldn't leave him stuck on Dragon island. Yes, he could have flown on Vissy, but the saddle wouldn't fit her, and he didn't want his problems being put on his ameor.

They had left Dragon Island late afternoon – early evening, and Hiccup had fallen to sleep during the night. It was now morning - before sunrise, and Visskara's head had started to hurt her more than she could bare.

''The pain is getting too much Toothless.'' Visskara winced. Toothless didn't seemed to fazed by it.

''Good!'' Toothless answered absentmindedly. He was enjoying the effect getting closer to Berk had on him. The pain hurt, but it took away all his thoughts of Hiccup, and all his feelings.

''Toothless!'' Visskara gasped in disbelief.

''Sorry Vissy. Activate your alpha mode. I'm fine for a moment.''

A few moments later Visskara started glowing, but she was amazed Toothless was still in his normal form. What the helheim was he doing? How was he able to tolerate the pain?

When Hiccup awoke a while later, he noticed Visskara was in her alpha form. The sun had only just started to rise – not enough to take away the night sky yet, so the glowing was obvious, but if Visskara had activated her alpha form - why hadn't Toothless? A quick observation made it painfully obvious that he was affected, the way Toothless winced - flinching and grunting under his breath, confirmed that.

''T-Toothless… you need to change forms.'' Hiccup couldn't help worrying about him. 'He could still change forms, right?' He thought to himself.

Toothless scoffed. He hadn't missed the tone of concern in his voice, but he didn't want it. Hiccup being concerned - or nice to him in any way, made his anger wither. He had to remind himself why he was angry at Hiccup, and he hated how his ex-boyfriend seemed fine with his decision to end their relationship. 'Maybe he didn't love me as much as I thought?' Toothless thought to himself. It gave him another reason to be angry at Hiccup.

''Toothless, if you are needlessly allowing the pain to avoid your feelings for Hiccup – then stop it! You need to activate your alpha mode right now, before you hurt yourself… and Hiccup. If you fail to remain in control because of the effects of that pain, you will regret it if Hiccup gets hurt… no matter how angry you are at him.'' Visskara scolded her ameor, trying to make him see sense.

Visskara had hit the nail right on the head, and Toothless knew it. ''Fine!'' He snapped at her, and finally changed into his alpha form.

Hiccup correctly assumed that Visskara had said something to get through to him, and he was relieved that Toothless had at least listened to his sister. But why hadn't he changed into his alpha form sooner? Surely, he didn't want the pain … or did he? Was Toothless essentially self-harming because he had hurt him that much emotionally? 'Oh Thor!' Hiccup thought, the dagger in his heart twisting. Surely Toothless wouldn't be that stupid, but he had to talk to him – and soon.

Toothless could hear the eerie chanting, and like Visskara - he too could not recognize the language. ''Sorry Vissy.'' Toothless whispered after a moment of silence. The pain in his head had made him snap at her, and he felt guilty.

''It's alright Toothless, I'm just glad you finally saw sense.''

Toothless sighed, he had no argument because she was right. ''Do you hear that chanting?'' He asked her, avoiding the subject - but generally wondering if she too could hear it.

''Yes, and I heard it yesterday too. I wonder what it means?''

Toothless listened to the eerie chanting, it was hard to make out anything coherent. '… li bre sau … dreki … suein no aus … me su us li … haus li usoloa suus ...' Was all Toothless could make out for now, and it made no sense to him. The repeating words a foreign language, or an ancient one.

''I can't make out anything, it's weird.'' Toothless looked at Visskara. ''Did you hear it the entire time you were on Berk?''

''Yes, but it doesn't get much louder. I was able to ignore it most of the time, and I almost forgot it was even there.'' Visskara informed him.

Toothless nodded. He had changed into his dragon form twice on Berk, and although he hadn't been paying attention because of the pain and delirium, he didn't remember any chanting. He silently listened to the words over the next couple of hours, and by the time Berk was in sight – he had what he could make out memorized. It was like a song stuck in your head – but then again, the chanting literally was stuck in his head.

''Oh boy!'' Hiccup suddenly breathed, it had only just dawned on him; everyone on Berk was going to go wild when he touched down, he didn't just have Toothless with him… but Visskara too – and they were both in their alpha forms.

-OOO-

''Okay, help me out here. Were supposed to find our own food, light our own fire, and cook it ourselves - because you two don't want to leave this dark and dingy mountain.'' Tuffnut asked his dragon in bewilderment – both heads nodded. They had woken up that morning to find Barf and Belch being unhelpful. It had refused to fly them to find fish and wood.

''Well that's just great! I say we drag our dragon outside and remind them who's boss.'' Ruffnut punched her hand.

''Great plan sis!''

The twins rushed behind Barf and Belch trying to push them, but to no avail. They tried using their backs, and even tried pulling their dragon's heads, but Barf and Belch wouldn't budge. Gora laughed and threw himself onto his back, rolling around in fits.

''Oh, just great. Even the purple spiky dragon is against us!'' Tuffnut told his sister.

''Not cool Gora… Totally not cool!''

Tuffnut's stomach grumbled. ''Ugh, what are we gonna do? I'm starving, I haven't been this hungry since our survive'o non-food challenge.''

''Ah the no food challenge, you totally caved and ate about twenty pounds of yak steak.''

''Then threw up twenty pounds of yak steak, along with the bread and the vegetables.'' Tuffnut added cheerfully.

''Yeah you were totally sick, it was awesome… the thick lumpy contents of partially digested food were beautiful, along with the wailing sounds of regret that came out of your vomiting mouth.'' Ruffnut laughed

Gora had stopped laughing at looked at Barf and Belch. ''I think you've punished them enough for forgiving Hiccup.''

''Is that what we were doing, I forgot. It's just fun to see them begging for our help.'' Belch chuckled.

''They thought they could move us.'' Barf laughed.

Just then the twins jumped on to their dragon's saddles, and demanded it left to find them food and wood. They were about to toss their riders off when Gora hypnotized the Zippleback to do as they were told. Barf and Belch would have gone on their own accord eventually, but Gora didn't know that – he felt kinda bad for the twins. No matter how annoying they were, they were funny. As the Zippleback took off, the twins failing to realise it had been hypnotized, Gora followed behind them.

''That's what I'm talking about! See bro, all it took was a firm reminder of our dominance, and we're back in the saddle.''

''Great plan sis, mon de effecto!'' Tuffnut cheered.

''Breakfast, we come a flying!'' Ruffnut cheered as they left the mountain, heading out to sea.

-OOO-

The word that two dragons were about to land on Berk had spread like wild fire, all the villagers had gathered at the docks and were cheering as Toothless and Visskara flew closer.

''Toothless… Mum said the plants were over by the twin's house, and down the cliff edge by Styrbion's. If you put me down by the main storage building, I'll try and hold them away from you and Vissy while you do what needs to be done.'' Hiccup told him, realizing that if everyone was at the docks, he could hold them off by the stairs that lead to the level the main storage house was on. It was the only way up to that level from the docks.

Toothless touched down by the storage house, and they could all see the flowers from there. The storage house was on the same level as Styrbion's home. Hiccup confirmed they looked like the right flowers, and Toothless and Vissy knew what to do. Hiccup quickly braced himself at the top of the stairs, for the incoming stampede of excited Vikings that were scrambling and running towards him.

''The chief returns!'' - ''Toothless is back!'' - ''Is that another alpha dragon?'' – ''Welcome back chief!'' – ''Where are the other dragons?''

Hiccup sweat dropped as he stood at the top of the stairs, his arms out getting them all to stop. As more Vikings gathered, more questions followed.

''I need you to listen … If you can just … Okay so…'' Hiccup tried to speak over the noise and questions.

''Shut it ye disrespectful bunch a hooligans. Yer chief speaks.'' Gobber suddenly bellowed, pushing himself to the front and clamping his good hand on Hiccup's shoulder. ''Good tae have ye back laddie, I believe the floors yers.'' He smiled, looking out at the now quiet Vikings.

''Thanks, Gobber.'' Hiccup nodded, then turned to speak to his village.

-OOO-

''Vissy its fine. Just ignore them and focus on me!'' Toothless told his ameor.

Visskara was breathing heavily, her instincts telling her to run and hide. She nodded, but a few of the villagers and some of the children, weren't at the docks. Toothless growled at the two advancing children, five-year-old Karsen and six-year-old Olav, making them run away, and the adults froze in their tracks before slowly edging closer to their chief, giving Toothless and the 'new dragon' a very wide berth.

Toothless and Visskara, had been digging at the roots of the flowers, but Vissy had been spooked by the villagers coming closer to them. The flowers were white and red like Valka had said, and they were very pretty - but the eerie chanting was the loudest here, and they seemed almost deceptive. The more they had dug at the roots, the darker their petals became until the entire flower was blood red. The chanting had also become louder, confirming they were indeed the right flowers, but the roots ran deep into the ground.

''T-Toothless, I don't… I … I'm ... I'm scared!'' Vissy finally admitted.

''They won't hurt you. Berk hasn't had dragons here for weeks, they're just excited and want to meet you. They also probably want to see me again. They're just used to being able to touch me, to touch most dragons that come here. The children more so because they're used to me playing with them.''

''It's n-not the children I'm a-afraid of, t-they don't have weapons.''

Mulch and Bucket suddenly came running down to see their chief, and Bucket got even more excited upon seeing Toothless. 'Oh, Fuck!' Toothless thought. Bucket had a soft spot for Toothless, the last thing he wanted to do was scared the poor man, but he had no choice. Toothless growled and Bucket was stunned, along with Mulch. It was Bucket's words that upset Toothless though.

''Come on Bucket, I think Toothless doesn't want to bothered, and we're already late because you couldn't find your shoes.'' Mulch grabbed Bucket's arm and pulled him away.

''Doesn't Toothless like me anymore. I don't remember doing anything to make him mad at me, maybe I can't remember it. Was I mean to him?'' Bucket asked, he looked really upset as Mulch dragged away.

''Vissy, we need to do this. The quicker we get it done, the sooner we can leave.'' Toothless firmly reminded his ameor, getting back to the task.

Visskara gulped and nodded. They went back to digging at the plants, but Visskara was still very jumpy and distracted. Suddenly, Toothless had an idea.

''Let the wind carry us, to the clouds hurry up, alright…'' Toothless started to sing, still digging with his front claws. Visskara chuckled. ''…We can travel as far as our eyes can see, you and me, Vissy…''

''Awake in the sky, we break up so high…'' Visskara joined in, whispering the words as she too continued to dig.

''Alright…'' Toothless continued. A man walked past them going down to the chief, but Visskara was focused on Toothless.

''Let's make it our own, let's savoir it…'' Visskara whispered, still chuckling.

''We go where no one goes. We slow for no one…'' Toothless added. They had both finished digging, the roots of that section of plants definitely uncovered now, and they looked at each other.

''Get out of our way.'' They sang in unison.

''Oh, Toothless. I'm not a youngling anymore!'' Visskara chuckled.

''I know, but you were scared. It worked didn't it!'' Toothless smirked.

''I suppose it did.'' Visskara smiled.

''You ready?'' Toothless asked.

Visskara nodded, and Toothless agreed to go first. Visskara used one of her sharp claws to slice open Toothless's right paw pad. Toothless hissed and winced as the blood dripped onto the ground, quickly he held it over the roots of the plant.

''Sorry!'' Vissy apologized for hurting him.

''It's okay, only stings for a bit.'' Toothless told her.

''This seems familiar.'' Visskara smiled.

''Just don't make any promises and we'll be okay.'' Toothless smirked.

''No promises!''

''Against making promises, or in general?'' Toothless asked. They both looked at each other and laughed.

''Okay, your turn!'' Toothless told her, wincing as he put his cut paw onto the ground.

''I'm not going to like this am I?'' She asked, holding up her right paw, and wincing before Toothless had even done anything.

''Probably not.'' He admitted, using his own claw to slit her paw quickly. Visskara yelped, but quickly held her paw over the roots of the plant like Toothless had just done. The blood dripped onto Toothless's blood, and the roots instantly started to turn black.

''Stings, is an understatement. At least it appears to be working.'' Visskara said, hissing at the pain in her paw.

''I guess your powers are so strong you don't get hurt much.'' Toothless observed playfully.

''And you do?'' Visskara asked. She had already heard many of his stories, so it was kind of a rhetorical question. She still wondered how many times he had actually been hurt in the past though. Toothless laughed.

''You could say that. Ever since I met...'' Toothless's face suddenly fell. ''Erm … Yeah, let's just say pain isn't new for me.''

Visskara put her paw onto the ground wincing, and looked at him sympathetically. She knew he was hiding behind anger, but his eyes were more saddened then anything.

''I'm fine. Follow me!'' Toothless suddenly told her, taking off and flying towards Hiccup's house. Visskara didn't hesitate to follow him.

-OOO-

Hiccup had finished explaining to the villagers the plan to get the dragons home, had told them about Visskara, and had answered so many of their never-ending questions that in the end, he had arranged a meeting in the Great Hall to take place an hour from now. He had wanted to find Toothless and see if they had succeeded, but when he had turned to look their way, they were gone. Finally, he managed to get most of his people to go back to what they were doing before he had arrived, but a few of them insisted on following him - Gobber, Snotlout, Fishlegs, and even Gustav.

''So, what has ye bin doing all this time laddie?'' Gobber asked.

''Yeah, come on chief. You just up and left all this greatness behind, I thought we were a team. The least you can do for ditching me, is tell us about your adventure.'' Snotlout said.

''I want to know all about that new dragon. I assume you found new islands, did you discover new dragons too?'' Fishlegs asked.

''Did you see Fanghook?'' Gustav asked.

''Hey where's Kalster?'' Fishlegs wondered aloud.

''Guys look. It's been a long flight, I need to find Toothless and... freshen up-'' Hiccup started, trying to gently tell them to go away.

''Understandable chief, when I get back from a long flight I-'' Snotlout started.

''Enough!'' Hiccup shouted. He stopped in his tracks and rubbed his face. ''I'm sorry guys, but I just need some space. That means no questions, and no following me. I'll catch up with you later, I promise!'' Hiccup started to walk away again, leaving his friends behind, but Gobber followed him. ''That means you too Gobber!'' Hiccup then stopped and sighed. ''I'm sorry Gobber, its just been a long flight.''

''Ya seem down laddie. What's bothering ya?'' Gobber asked.

''Nothing I want to talk about.'' Hiccup sighed. ''Where's my son?''

''He's with ya mum. Is about his feeding time ah think, then Valka usually brings him over tae the Hofferson's before dealing wiv viking problems in the Great Hall.''

''So, it's Thursday.'' Hiccup confirmed.

''Aye, that it is.''

''Please go tell mum I'm home. Tell her I want to see my son.''

''All'rite laddie.'' Gobber nodded. He went to leave but turned and smiled. ''It's good to have ya home!''

''It's good to be back Gobber.'' Hiccup smiled. He watched Gobber walk in the direction of his mother's house, then sighed before making his way to his own. He just hoped Toothless was there.

-OOO-

Toothless was in Hiccup's house - naked, but Hiccup hadn't got there yet. Toothless placed a letter onto the table, before running up the stairs and into Hiccup's bedroom. He looked around sadly and sighed, then he changed into his dragon form. He almost lost his mind before he was able to activate his alpha mode, not before he made a mess in Hiccup's room though; he had upturned the chair and damaged the bed frame. Luckily the bed was still intact, and he hadn't broken anything that he could see. 'That had been a close call.' He thought to himself. Toothless then jumped onto the bed, up onto the wooden beam, and out through the latch in the roof. He took one last look at the house before flying up into the sky.

''Vissy?'' He called.

''Right here Toothless!'' She announced, flying up beside him. ''You sure you want to do this?''

''Yes. I left him a letter. I don't know why I bothered.''

''Because despite how angry you are Toothless, you still love him!''

''I'm mad at him!''

''Yes, you keep saying that. But you love him!''

Toothless sighed but didn't respond. He couldn't deny that he still loved Hiccup, but he clung to the anger he had for him. Speeding up, he flew faster towards Dragon island – Visskara right beside him.

-OOO-

Tuffnut and Ruffnut were sitting by the new camp fire they had set up in the forest. They decided it was better then being in the volcano mountain. Gora was right there with them, as were Barf and Belch. They had finally eaten, and were now playing a game with Gora.

Tuffnut was trying to kick his own butt, and Ruffnut and the dragons were laughing, especially when Tuffnut fell over.

''Ow, I'm hurt, I'm very much hurt!'' Tuffnut exclaimed when Gora broke the hypnotism.

''That was awesome bro, you looked like a half dead chicken on a rotisserie with its wing shoved up its butt.'' Ruffnut laughed.

''I'd have loved to have seen that.'' Tuffnut smiled, then his face fell. ''Oh, chicken! I wonder what my fluffy feathered friend is doing right now. All alone without her one and only friend – me. No one to keep her warm at night, to read her bedtime stories, and massage her little chicken feet.''

''Come on bro, you know she didn't want to leave without Rooster. Gora, make Tuffnut forget about chicken-''

''No! It's my turn! Okay let's see … okay got it. Make Ruffnut pick her nose. Shove her finger right up there so her brains fall out.'' Tuffnut asked Gora.

''No! Let's not-'' Ruffnut was saying, but she suddenly put her finger up her nose.

Gora had made her pick her nose, but he hadn't made her shove it up there as Tuffnut had asked. Even so, Tuffnut was in hysterics, and the dragons chuckled. When Ruffnut stopped, she punched her brother's arm.

''Ahh Gora, you are so much fun my purple scaled friend.'' Tuffnut told him when he had finished laughing.

''A pure dragon of Loki!'' Ruffnut agreed, a wide grin across her face.

''Your riders aren't half bad!'' Gora told the Zippleback.

''You should see the explosions they let us make.'' Belch piped up.

''We play bat the nut too, that's cool.'' Barf told him.

''Bat the nut?'' Gora asked.

''Yeah, they hang up the wrong way, then we head butt them.'' Barf explained.

''Sometimes they do it together, and they hit into each other too.'' Belch added and chuckled.

''As fun as you guys are, you're torht! Ya know that?'' Gora smirked. ''But I like ya!''

''Hey Gora, It's my turn!'' Ruffnut smirked.

-OOO-

Toothless had gone when Hiccup got home, but he had found the letter on the table. He opened the parchment and frowned; as soon as he saw the messy handwriting, and the bad spelling, he knew who it was from. Sitting down on the chair he began to read.

We did what we set out to do, and me and Vissy spillt blood on the roots like we said we wood. The roots turned black so I assome it worked. The floures also turned a blood culor when we were digging up the roots, and there was an earie chanting that was louder by the plants. Dont no how long it will take before the dragons can return thou. I've gone to Dragons iland with Vissy, I need to be with my real friends, not some lieing cowword that makes fulse promises. So, don't wait up.

Hiccup saw the tear stain on the bottom of the parchment - Toothless's, then he felt his own tears stinging his eyes. He buried his head into his arms, resting on the table, and sobbed silently. Toothless no longer saw them as friends, thought he was a liar and a coward. That, with the direct nature of the letter, shattered what was left of his broken heart.

He had lost Toothless.