Chapter Fifty-Four

God of a Thousand Masks

Milky Way Galaxy

Tilnast System

Planet Sarka

Tony wasn't sure whether to be amused or sick when Loki and Hatchet started to gut and skin their game. It was a strange sight, downright bizarre. But Loki was also a lot more relaxed than before. It was either because of Hatchet's company or the hunt itself, or both. Tony never really thought about the relaxing attributes of hunting and gutting animals, but he was no weird alien Viking. Although, he did prefer seeing Loki skinning animals instead of blowing things up. It was an outlet, it definitely had to help getting rid of some of the piled up violence Tony knew Loki carried around.

It was a little strange to watch him. Tony knew him, knew him very well after all this time, but now he had an extra amount of information swirling around in his brain, demanding his attention. He knew what he was capable of, he saw it first-hand on Earth and he still loved him. What he did on Asgard should not change that, it did not change that, he did love him. But he also knew that things were going to be a lot more complicated back home than he first expected. Loki told him quite a long time ago that he had nothing but imprisonment waiting for him back in the Nine Realms, but he agreed to stay with Tony regardless. That's what mattered, right? That he was willing to face whatever may come just for him. That he was willing to answer for his crimes in a way. They did not discuss it much so far, but he knew Loki had to have plans. He knew he did not intent to just let himself be taken prisoner. Tony decided long ago to help him on Earth, help him clean up his mess, but that was about the invasion. Tony was fairly confident that once SHIELD and the rest of The Avengers were told about The Other and the Mad Titan and all further threats out in the universe, they would realize that they had bigger problems than Loki. In fact, if what Loki did was going to be the worst interstellar conflict they ever had to face, they were very-very lucky.

So he knew Loki had to have some plans and Tony had his own ones concerning their return to Earth, but the rest? Tony could do nothing about it. It was a whole different pile of shit Tony didn't have any idea how to clean up. He did not know if it could be cleaned up at all. What did this all mean for them? Was Odin going to send Thor again to retrieve Loki? Tony couldn't fight Thor, not about this. He couldn't just flip Asgard off. His opinion of Odin did not matter, Loki did commit horrible crimes. Maybe not Asgard, but at least Jötunheimr had the right to demand justice. But he also couldn't just turn his back on Loki, he couldn't do that. He couldn't stand by and watch him get dragged away, imprisoned, never to be seen again, or even executed. That had to be on the table too, even if Loki didn't mention it.

This whole mess was driving him nuts. Loki kept silent, giving him time and space like he wanted, even if it resulted in a very strange sort of tentative radio silence between them. It's been a day and Tony thought a lot, but he still did not know what to say about all this. He hoped some sort of moment of clarity would strike him soon and he would have the right answer. If a right answer existed at all.

He was not paying that much attention to Loki and Hatchet. Tony was fine going over his plans and preparing everything for the removal of the pod and the repair of the main body of the ship while the two of them were busy with their dead animals. When the name "Laufey" caught his ear, he started to pay attention though.

'What about him?' Loki asked curtly.

'It's just strange, you know,' Hatchet shrugged. 'It bothers me, it doesn't make sense.'

'I was a runt and he didn't want something like that as an heir. Nothing overly complicated about it,' Loki said and his tone turned icy. Tony did not understand why Hatchet was bringing this up again.

'No, that I would get, it's just… why the Temple?' he asked.

'What?' Loki finally put his knife down to look at Hatchet.

'The Jotnar magic-wielders are witches, you see,' Hatchet said. 'They worship Ymir and their ancestors. They cannot cast spells without their faith.'

'And?' Loki prompted. Tony stopped what he was doing and listened carefully to the conversation now.

'And their temples are the sacred halls of their forefathers,' the elf said and he finally put down his knife as well. He seemed to hesitate before he started talking again. 'If you want to throw something out, want to get rid of it, why not leave it in a ditch? Toss it down a cliff or leave it out for wild beasts. Leaving something unwanted in a sacred place makes no sense to me,' he finished.

Loki stared at him for a moment then abruptly stood up. 'No,' he said. 'No, no, no that's… no!'

'Loki…' Hatchet tried.

'No!' Loki said again, louder. He made a few steps then stopped, clenching his fists. Tony could only see half of his face, but that was enough to recognize at least some of the rapidly changing emotions.

It took a moment for Tony to realize what Hatchet was saying, what he was implying, and Loki's sudden reaction immediately made sense. It was a small part of the story, a tiny, almost insignificant part compared to everything Loki told them, but Tony did remember. Odin said that in the aftermath of the last battle he found the abandoned runt of Laufey in a temple. That Loki was left there to die.

'Loki, I'm not saying that-' Hatchet tried to speak again, but Loki cut him off again.

'No, no that is not… it cannot be, because then I…' Loki fell silent again and Tony could see now that his shoulders were rising and falling too quickly. He was moving out from behind his workbench even before Hatchet looked his way.

'Loki,' he called as well, but his voice made no difference either. Loki was talking again, this time his fury raised its head. His tone became harsh and malicious, anger tainting his every word.

'Of course he said that, of course! Once a liar, always a liar! He would paint himself as the noble hero, who took pity on the poor abandoned child, saving him from its cruel Frost Giant father! Of course he would say that! It was not enough to raise me with tales about the monstrous Jotnar, no, he had to drive the point across, put the last nail in its place. He had to make sure I understood what monsters he saved me from!' He spat out the last words with such a venomous tone even Tony rarely heard from him. Hatchet looked at Tony again, his eyebrows somewhere between raised in surprise and trying to furrow in caution, obviously not knowing what to do.

Oh, of course, he might've been Loki's friend for a long time, but he never saw him consumed with rage like this. He might have centuries of knowledge about him, but he did not know this Loki. Fortunately (or unfortunately), Tony did, he got to know this Loki a lot sooner.

'What's done is done,' Tony said. His voice was steady, but he knew Loki would not calm down right away, so he did not ask him to try. 'You know what he's willing to do for his own gain more than anyone. Don't let this get to you again.'

'It's not just about him!' Loki snapped. His face angry and distressed, his whole body tense like an enormous weight has settled on him again. 'If… he didn't, if Laufey didn't-'

There was a clear sheen of unshed tears in Loki's furious eyes and a slight tremble in his hands. Tony realized this was getting out of control. Loki was seriously getting out of control. He moved right away, walked right up to him even if the god's body was closed off and angry.

'No, don't,' Loki jerked away when Tony was in touching distance, but yeah, no, he had to do something. So he reached out, one hand on the back of Loki's head, the other on his nape, and just kept them close, forehead to forehead. Loki was rigid and moved again, twisting away, but Tony gripped him tightly, not letting him step back. He could've moved if he really tried to, but then he would probably hurt Tony in the process.

'Just breathe with me,' Tony said clamly. 'That's all I'm asking, just breathe with me.'

One of Loki's hands gripped his shoulder tightly and that was definitely going to bruise, but Tony held back his wince and did not move. Loki's breathing was too fast and ragged and it took long-long moments before he even attempted to match Tony's steadier rhythm. The first slow inhale was shaky and Loki's whole body trembled with it, the exhale was not any better. It was anger, Tony knew that, the sort of mind-numbing wrath that drove you to lash out and break things apart in a vain attempt of getting rid of some of the feelings that threatened to tear you apart from the inside out. Tony didn't say anything and Hatchet was smart enough to keep quiet too.

When Loki's breathing was a tad slower he started talking again. Still angry, but some other emotions where taking over now, making his voice quieter, his tone less sharp.

'I killed him,' he said. 'And maybe he… he didn't even…'

'It's…' Tony started, but he fell silent. He couldn't say it wasn't Loki's fault. 'You couldn't have known,' he settled on.

'I should've realized,' Loki said.

'It's not going to change anything now,' he said. Maybe it sounded cruel, to say it like this, but it was the truth. Loki always needed the truth more than kind platitudes. 'You still don't know the truth. You have no idea what really happened. And the dead do not care.'

It was one of Loki's lessons, one that Tony had to learn the hard way as well. Loki couldn't fall back into the endless spiral of hatred, anger and guilt. It was sort of a miracle that he managed to drag himself out of it once. If he let his darker instincts consume him again, it was doubtful there would be a way out again.

Loki's body relaxed slowly. Not entirely, but it was enough for now. Tony moved to wrap an arm around Loki's back, to take some of his weight. Loki let him.

'I hate him,' Loki said. His voice was quiet, a little broken, but steady and Tony knew he was not talking about Laufey anymore.

'That's alright,' Tony said. If Loki could focus his anger on someone who actually deserved it instead of being angry at everything and everyone, Tony would count it as a win. He was doing very well in the past years. He could get through this set back too.

When Loki pulled back long moments later, he let him.

'I got blood all over you,' Loki said. Yeah, animal blood, Tony shrugged, it didn't matter.

Hatchet was standing a few steps away, silent and contemplative. His arms were crossed over his chest and his face was hard and determined. There was also a glint of vicious anger in his eyes Tony only saw for a moment.

'I'll finish this up,' the elf said, gesturing at the pile of fur and what was left of the game. Gone were the anger from his eyes and the hardness from his face. He almost seemed as cheerful as always, but Tony knew better. 'Just go and clean up,' he said and sat back down, picking up his knife.

'It won't take long,' Loki said.

'No rush, my prince,' Hatchet told him. 'I won't go anywhere.' He didn't just mean right now, that was obvious enough even for Tony. He did not comment on it though, he did not say a word until they were far away from the cargo hold.

'Better?' he asked then.

'No,' Loki said. 'But I won't break to pieces if that's what you mean. You do not need to worry about my oh so fragile sanity.'

Tony reached out and touched his arm. 'I won't turn my back on you,' he said. 'I can't… I don't want to. It's… it's not easy to let myself think about it, what that says about me, that I refuse to let go of you despite everything, but I just can't. Maybe it's because I could've ended up like you so fucking easily. If Pepper and Rhodey wouldn't have paid attention, if Obie didn't try to kill me…'

Loki turned back around finally.

'You wouldn't have,' he said. 'You're better than that.'

'You can be better, you proved that.'

'I can be better and I can be a lot worse, that won't change, that won't ever change. Don't forget that.' Loki said. 'We're similar, but I can't be like you, just like you cannot be like me.'

'That's not bad,' Tony said. 'We don't have to be the same.'

'But are our differences too great?' Loki asked in return.

'No,' Tony shook his head. 'I don't think so… at least I hope not,' he relented, because he was still not confident enough about all this. 'Do you have plans?' he asked instead.

'About?'

'What you're going to do once we're back,' Tony said. 'I know you won't just let Asgard take you and punish you, so I want to know what you're planning.'

'No, you want to know whether I intend to trick myself out of punishment or attempt to honestly right some of the wrongs.'

Tony couldn't argue with that, it was exactly what he wanted to know. 'So which one?'

'Both,' Loki said simply. 'It shouldn't come as a surprise.'

Tony shook his head and huffed out a small laugh.

'No, I'm really not surprised,' he said. 'But will you tell me? Your exact plans?'

'Of course,' Loki answered. 'I shall keep no secrets from you, if that is what you want.'

x-x-x

It took over a week to repair the ship. Normally, Tony would have been annoyed that something like this took this long, but he did not want strangers all around. He would have been forced to hire some if Drongo and Loki (and Hatchet on the days he showed up) wouldn't have been so damn strong. He knew, logically, that they all had physical strength that was way beyond human level, but it was still a sight to behold. Drongo did not look so weird doing some heavy-lifting, because he was huge, but Loki and Hatchet did, they really did, especially Hatchet. Well, he wasn't as strong as Loki, but it was still impressive.

While they were busy with the repairs Tony could sometimes shove his concerns regarding the future to the back of his mind, but not always. It was like he and Loki were back at the beginning of their relationship again. The things that long turned comfortable and familiar were once again a little uncertain. Their sleeping habits returned to normal, but not much else. He berated himself again and again, because things didn't change. Loki didn't change just because he told the truth about his past, only Tony's view of him shifted a little. Even that wasn't such a huge shift. So yeah, he told himself again and again that he should get over himself. He wasn't going to leave him, so he just had to accept things the way they were and move forward. It was easier said than done, but as the days passed the unpleasant itch in the back of Tony's mind started to be less irritating. That little voice in his head that reminded him of the things Loki did became quieter. Loki was not like that anymore. Yes, the possibility would always be there, he would always be capable of great deeds, let them be good or horrendous. But Tony did believe that if he did something so incredibly destructive again, he would have his reasons, he would have very good reasons.

All in all, things were slightly tense, but on a very good way to become perfectly fine again. They just needed some time.

Tony should've known that something was bound to happen, because something always happened whenever they had a few days of peace for a chance. This time what happened was Hatchet walking in half-covered in blood one afternoon.

'Whoa, shit!' Juyu exclaimed, as she was the one who first noticed him. Bee and Drongo turned around and Tony looked up from his work as well at the words. Loki was up and across the cargo hold within moments.

'Are you hurt?' he asked him.

'I'll live,' Hatchet answered easily, walking further inside, away from the door.

'Is it your blood?' Loki asked then.

'Most of it,' the elf replied.

'Your shoulder's in a really weird angle,' Juyu pointed out helpfully.

'Yeah, it being dislocated might have something to do with that,' Hatchet replied.

'Don't bite your tongue,' Loki warned. Then before Hatchet could even move or protest, he grabbed hold of his arm and swiftly put the shoulder back into its place. Hatchet yelled in pain and cursed, a lot. Tony only heard the last of it. The first few sentences were just a big mess of angry words.

'…you wretched guts-griping son of a bitch! Ah fuck! I so hate you right now!'

Loki was unfazed by Hatchet's tirade. 'What happened?' he asked instead.

'Wrong place, wrong time,' Hatchet said and rolled his shoulder a bit, hissing in pain and giving up on moving it pretty quickly.

'Does this have something to do with that fight in the tavern?' Loki asked.

'No… a little... alright, a lot.'

'Did they follow you?'

'No.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, I'm fucking sure, Loki. Do you think I'm some bloody idiot?'

'Well, from the way you look right now,' Loki said as he gripped the elf's chin to turn his head to the side, inspecting the bloody wound on his temple. 'If you're in trouble, you tell me about it right now,' he demanded. 'You know you should-'

'Don't lecture me, kid!' Hatchet snapped, yanking his face out of Loki's hold. Loki clenched his jaw, but did not say anything for a moment, just looked at the other sternly.

'You know where the kitchen is,' he said then. 'Go clean yourself up.'

Hatchet just sniffed, wiped at the blood under his nose and didn't argue. He looked more resigned than pissed after a few steps.

'Well…' Tony started once he was gone, but he didn't really know what to say. He felt like everything he could say would be pretty obvious.

'He didn't used to get in this much trouble in Alfheim,' Loki said with a deep frown on his face.

'Maybe he's not in a lot of trouble here either and it's just a bad time,' Juyu said.

'Nope, the waitress in the tavern was pretty obvious about how regularly he gets into fights,' Tony said.

'He is not really good at holding his tongue,' Drongo added. That explained a lot, they could all agree on that one.

'No, it's not just that,' Loki shook his head. 'Big cities are not good for him. He doesn't handle crowds well on the long run. It makes him… edgy.'

'Fine. And on the off chance that Hatchet was not that good about sneaking here, it's better if we're cautious,' Tony decided. He really hoped whatever mess the elf was in did not follow him here. 'Juyu, close up the doors,' he asked. 'It's best if we lay low, we've finished up the outside anyway.' Nobody argued.

Loki still had that unhappy frown on his face and Tony really did not know what to say to him. He personally expected something like this to happen a lot sooner.

'Okay, I might be wrong,' Juyu called from the door. 'But I think there's a bunch of Hatchet's stuff right outside.'

Loki turned and looked at him and oh crap, he knew this was coming, he just knew it. That face said that Loki wanted to ask him something and it was pretty damn obvious what that was. Tony still did not like the bastard though and he really did not want this to lead where he thought it was leading.

'He's a worse trouble magnet than you are,' Tony said.

'It wasn't always like this,' Loki said. 'He just had a difficult couple of months here.'

'I don't trust him,' Tony said. 'I know you do, but… fuck, fine, just bring in his stuff for now,' he relented. 'You can discuss this little situation with the others,' he told Loki. 'And I'll go and have a few words with him myself. Then we'll see.'

Loki opened his mouth, but Tony did not let him argue. 'It's long overdue,' he said.

'Fine,' Loki agreed reluctantly.

x-x-x

Hatchet looked up from the sink when Tony walked in, but he went back to cleaning up his face a moment later. His blood was very visible in his white hair and pale skin and now that most of it was coming off his wounds and bruises were a lot more noticeable as well. Put it simply, he looked like crap. Very tired crap.

'I would like to ask you to let me come with you,' Hatchet said after a moment of silence.

'So are you?' Tony countered.

'What?'

'Asking me.'

Hatchet huffed and dropped the cloth he was using to clean up back into the sink before he turned around. He stared at a random spot for a moment then finally made eye-contact.

'Please, let me come with you,' he asked.

'That's more polite than I expected.'

'Pride and arrogance were never among my flaws,' Hatchet answered.

'I have a few questions for you,' Tony said. 'And don't try to feed me any bullshit. We both know that asking me is just a formality, because Loki doesn't want to leave you here. So it doesn't matter that I don't like you, I can't just tell him no. I can't ask him to leave a friend behind.'

Tony couldn't ask that of him. He didn't know whether Loki would be even willing to turn Hatchet away in case Tony wanted him to. If they left Hatchet here Loki would be angry, resentful or even worse. He would wonder if his friend was alive or lying dead in some ditch because his big mouth got him in bigger trouble than he could handle. It was damn infuriating, but it didn't matter that Tony didn't like him. Hell, even he would wonder whether the bastard was dead or alive if they left him here.

Hatchet was loyal to Loki. Not just normal level of loyal, it seriously approached imprinted baby ducking levels of loyal. Which was really weird, but then again, Hatchet was weird in general. Tony was almost certain, that if he told Hatchet to get the hell out, he would just find a way to sneak back in and hide until they took off. He couldn't be rid of him and Loki didn't want to be rid of him. Tony was hoping that maybe the elf wanted to stay, because he seemed to have some sort of business running and all that, but yeah, no luck. This was basically a done deal and the best Tony could do was to gather some damn information.

'That seems fair,' Hatchet said. 'I reserve the right not to answer, but I will speak no lies.'

Tony wasn't going to get a better deal, so he continued.

'You know what awaits Loki back in the Nine Realms,' he said. 'Still going to stand by him then?'

'Ah, how particular,' Hatchet mused. 'I wanted to ask you the same thing myself,' he gave a small irritating smile. 'But to answer you, well… let's just say that if I would have been with him when he had to lead that invasion, you and I would have a history of being enemies as well.'

'Through thick and thin? Why?' Tony asked. He got more out of that answer than he expected.

'He deserves it,' Hatchet replied simply. 'He leads I follow,' he continued. 'He seemingly decided to follow you for now, so I will do the same.'

'But you don't like it,' Tony said. 'Cause you don't like me.'

'Why, Master Stark, I think the feeling is completely mutual, isn't it?'

'I don't like you, because you gave me no reason to trust you, and because you're really annoying,' Tony said. 'What's your issue? It's because of Loki, right? You don't think I'm good enough for him or something?'

'Oh, it is nothing personal,' Hatchet shrugged. 'I don't think anyone's good enough for him.'

'You know, I still don't get this… weird, intimate, protective friendship-thing you two have. So how about you tell me if what I've seen so far really is all that's ever been between you.'

Hatchet actually laughed at that. 'You are not the first to ask that,' he said. 'But I think I will be honest with you, that much you deserved already. How do I feel? That is what you're asking, right? Is it love? Yes. Adoration? Yes, even that. Attraction? No. It would be disturbing or even distasteful to think of someone whom I've met as a little boy like that, don't you think? I would say our relationship is more "fraternal", but that title belongs to Thor alone.'

'Loki hates Thor nowadays,' Tony pointed it out. Hatchet huffed out a small laugh again.

'Yes, but he still loves him, just like he still loves Odin, even if he hates them at the same time, and if he says otherwise; he's lying.'

'So you don't like me, but not because you have the hots for Loki. So why then? I know you have a real reason.'

Hatchet fell silent and seemed to contemplate his answer. It made Tony a little uneasy. He was willing to admit that he did not know Hatchet all that well, but if he was this serious about answering this, than his reasons were not something petty or ridiculous Tony could simply brush aside. And yeah fucking hell, maybe he did not want Loki's annoying BFF to hate his guts, so what? It was for Loki and not for the stupid elf.

'Loki loves deeply,' Hatchet started speaking then. 'Once he has welcomed someone in his heart, nothing can tear them out of there. His feelings are always fierce and unwavering. He loves with all that he is. Sometimes when I look at him I think that he's pure emotion. Once I thought about it, I realized that I'm not surprised about what happened, because if he feels love, devotion and loyalty this deeply, than he would feel betrayal, jealousy and heartbreak just as much.'

What he was saying was not news for Tony. He was aware of it very much. Hearing it coming from Hatchet's mouth was further proof that he really did know Loki and not just one of the many masks he put on.

'So what are you saying?' Tony asked.

'I'm saying he loves you,' Hatchet said. 'Loves you more than I have ever seen him love. I'm saying that you are rooted in his heart so very deeply that you won't ever be gone from there. Even if you hurt him or betray him or leave him, he won't stop loving you.'

'I won't leave him,' Tony said steadily. 'And I sure as hell won't betray him.'

'You will leave eventually,' he said and before Tony could object he continued. 'You're mortal. He's not. You should know already what that means.'

Of course he did, but…

'I can see that you ground him, that you can put a stop to his anger just by your very presence, like a beacon that leads him out of darkness. You make him happy. I'm glad you do, don't think I'm not. But what happens after a few decades? A century? A millennium? I will still follow, no matter what becomes of him, but I really don't look forward to the years without you.'

Tony stood speechlessly in the kitchen, Hatchet's words running through his mind. He thought so much about the future, but never that far ahead, beyond the limits of his mortal life.

He cleared his throat and shut down the train of thoughts for now.

'Yeah, uhm… you can come,' he said faintly. 'We leave in a day or two.'

'I'm aware and thank you,' Hatchet said with a little bow. Then he turned back to the sink to finish cleaning up not saying another word.

x-x-x

Author's Notes:

Life expectancies:

Loki: Jotun, Frost Giant quasi-Immortal
Hatchet: Ljósálfar, quasi-Immortal
Juyu and Bee: average Skrull life expectancy ~210 years
Drongo: average Grey Sakaarans life expectancy ~200 years
Tony: average Human life expectancy ~77-80 years

I will share more data (height, current age etc.) in the upcoming chapters.