Part 4: Renewal, Chapter 1


Elizabeth stood at the landward end of the East Pier, looking longingly at the lookout point at the far end, a place now so familiar to her. But the weather, although fine and sunny, was too windy to walk the slippery length of it and, on the eve of their departure, Mrs Carter would be more than displeased if she managed to get drenched (again) and caught cold this close to their leaving. So she stood leaning up against the harbour wall while Amy-Jane fed the gulls the bread they would not need once they left.

Elizabeth remembered feeding the Longbourn ducks so many years ago, all waddling about your feet and quacking, maybe occasionally pecking each other, but so nice, so domesticated. Feeding gulls was nothing like that. You could throw a hunk of bread in the air and they'd have it pulled apart as they dove in and swooped on it before it even touched the ground. If you weren't careful, they'd steal it from your hand even before you had time to throw it. The gulls were the dominant creature around Ramsgate, and their wildness contrasted so strongly to what she knew of the main animal around Lambton – sheep. They could not be more different.

Elizabeth sighed. The untamed combativeness of the gulls, the ever changing Channel, the sight of a squall racing in over the water from the south, the rugged coastline, the wild crashing waves, the rough and ready locals; she'd be giving all this up for the tame, domestic, controlled farmlands of Lambton and its quiet village setting. For respectability and a quiet life. Elizabeth liked, and was proud of the almost-respectability she had forged for herself here. All of it was earned, the hard way, and during those early years it had been very hard indeed.

The recent realisation of what locals had been saying behind her back and felt about her made her realise she may not have been as accepted as she always thought she had. The knowledge of her leaving appeared to give her critics licence to say things, hurtful things, they had previously not said, or at least had held off saying until she was out of earshot. But those, she could, and would, never please. What hurt possibly the most was that several of those that she thought were among her most ardent supporters, had accused her of betrayal and became quite vocal and at times even vicious in their denouncing of her morals and time in Ramsgate.

But even still, it had been difficult to say goodbye to most of the people that filled her life for five years, knowing that to make the deception of being a widow work she had to cut ties to Ramsgate almost totally. She'd not be able to maintain any of the connections, well maybe the occasional letter from a few of the most understanding of the ladies. But nothing from the men. Even as a widow, anything other than a very rare letter from a man would ruin any chance of this working. She knew how easy it was for rumours to start, and how damaging they were. Her aunt Mrs Phillips was a very good example of how effective someone with a malicious tongue could be.

It was funny, but Elizabeth could not help but feel, although she'd be back to pack up the house once they found a place in Lambton, this was farewell. Her life was about to change almost as much as it had that night in Vauxhall Gardens. Poor Mr Hawker. He had so pleaded for her heart when he found out this holiday was only the prelude to a permanent move north. But regardless of her lukewarm feelings for him, even if she married him, it would not bring respectability to Amy-Jane, only to herself. Thankfully he was able to see this, and was resigned rather than angry when she used this as the reason for turning him down for what she hoped was the last time.

So it was with very mixed feelings that Elizabeth stood there, looking over the town that had been almost the entirety of her existence for the last five years. She wondered what the ex-Admiral would do instead of their chess match most Tuesday afternoons, how Mrs Hughes would get on, her husband still many months away from returning from…

"Mummy! Mummy!" Elizabeth started, then wondered how long Amy-Jane had been tugging on her sleeve, and looked down to see what her daughter needed.


The trip to London in a hired chaise and four was long and uncomfortable. Recent rain made the going slow and Amy-Jane, who had always travelled well in the past, for some reason, took exception to this trip and was at possibly her worst behaved for a very long time. Elizabeth did wonder if her own unsettled mood had affected her daughter. In any case, Elizabeth's patience was almost at breaking point when they reached the outskirts of London where, thankfully, Mrs Carter was able to distract the young girl with what was out the window. So it was with a great deal of relief less than an hour later that Elizabeth clambered out stiff and sore on to Gracechurch Street, the welcoming bright red door of the Gardiner's only a few steps away.

Thankfully they had a few days in London before heading north, which gave Elizabeth the very pleasant opportunity to catch up with everything that had happened with Jane recently. While Jane was very guarded in what she said, at least in person Jane was more forthcoming than her letters. Still Elizabeth thought there was a good chance that Jane would be getting an offer, if she read between the lines of what Jane told her, as they sat up late at night, correctly. But Elizabeth's confidence in her ability to read others had been badly shaken, so she decided it best not to ask directly, in case it upset Jane. Elizabeth had hoped maybe to see Jane with her suitor, but the Bingley's had left London a couple of weeks ago. And so had the Darcy's, so a visit with Georgiana, with any painful but yet still wanted news of what her brother was doing, was out as well.

Adding to her enjoyment, there was a letter from Charlotte. Elizabeth was pleased to read that Charlotte appeared to have put behind her the disappointment of Ramsgate as the letter was full of trivialities and joyful happenstance as letters prior to her visit had been. What was most enjoyable to read was Charlotte's writing of her anticipation of moving to Lambton and with that she had started to work on convincing her father to allow it. Right at the end of the letter, squeezed into the margins, was a postscript, as if Charlotte was not sure whether to add it or not, and only did so just before sealing the letter, regarding a rumour she had heard but could not state whether it was the truth or not, and hoped this news would not upset her friend. Charlotte wrote that Mrs Bennet was making a great deal of a visit by a cousin, Mr Collins, a clergyman and the heir to Longbourn, arriving in a few weeks time to show the Bennet's were now considered respectable, at least in the eyes of the church. Elizabeth supposed her five years of absence, and Jane and Kitty's departure could have achieved that end. The next bit was, however, much less believable. Mrs Bennet also stated his sole purpose was not to inspect the property at all, as most people believed, but to obtain a wife, and Lydia would easily capture his interest and would be married before the end of the year. Charlotte also thought this was rather silly, given that it appeared the Reverend Mr Collins, had sent another letter to engage a room at the Dancing Lady, so he would not be staying at Longbourn but in the inn in Meryton itself.

The brief sojourn in London did allow one more pleasure, the newly made, but long widowed, Mrs Smith made her long delayed debut by attending a local dance the evening before they left. It was marred a little in that she had to wear one of Mrs Carmichael's older gowns, that proved just a bit tight in the bodice than Elizabeth would have liked, but her aunt was too small and Jane too slender to use either of their dresses. So, much to her chagrin, in fear of embarrassing herself, Elizabeth had to sit out the many of the dances as they had movements that were too energetic for comfort.

Even sitting out numerous sets, the evening flew by, and this was just the tonic necessary for Elizabeth to overcome her recent blue devils. She was amazed that no one questioned her 'widowhood', even the occasional times when she failed to recognise her own name when first addressed by it. What Elizabeth did not realise was that she'd made a good enough impression to be mentioned by name in a gossip column, but as it was only printed later that week, she only became aware of it when, much later, Mrs Carmichael, who had saved it specifically, showed her, much to Elizabeth's amusement.

Given the previous late night, it was at least mid-morning before the last minute packing was completed and they all piled into the two hired chaises for the trip north. When Elizabeth expressed concern that the late departure would cause problems, Mr Gardiner dismissed it, stating that they had plenty of time before they were expected in Derbyshire and, anyway, they had an itinerary that had a number of stops, and if the worse came to the worse, they could just skip one or another of the sights along the way.


They made slow progress, starting fairly late, taking long lunches and quitting equally early, while also detouring to see the sights of Oxford, Blenheim, Warwick, Kenilworth and others, and stopped often to stretch their legs and allow the children to swap coaches. The mood of the party was ebullient for the entire time, helped by the children's good behaviour and fascination with the countryside, all having lived entirely within an urban area. They asked many questions, and it turned out Jane and Elizabeth, by nature of their childhood at Longbourn, were best placed to answer them.

Elizabeth raised the issue of the slow journey several times but Mr Gardiner rebuffed her concern each time, saying that they were not expected anytime soon, and had more than enough time. When pressed as to where they were to stay, Mr Gardiner dismissed the question with a general statement that it was all arranged and she was not to worry. When she asked her Aunt or Mrs Carter they only said that Mr Gardiner had arranged it and to ask him. Jane was even less help, only saying that she did not know the specific details but was sure that their Uncle had made suitable arrangements. Elizabeth thought that there was some sort of conspiracy, but had nothing specific to go on. But that was the only fly in the ointment of a thoroughly enjoyable trip. Even passing by the edge of the Matlock Estate early on the final day did not affect her mood.


It was late in the afternoon, after previously passing by yet another small town, over a bridge beside a common, flanked by a pretty stone church on one side and a large chestnut tree on the other, that Elizabeth thought they passed through a set of estate gates. She would have liked to have seen the name, but she'd been rather too focussed on some embroidery that, for some inexplicable reason Mrs Carter had requested Elizabeth to untangle, rather than Jane, who would have been the better person to ask. But Jane was pointing something out to Amy-Jane so was occupied.

"Ah," said Mrs Carter, "Nearly there."

"Are you sure?" asked Jane.

"Yes, see there," Mrs Carter pointed out something to one side, "I recognise the lodge, even after all these years, it's not changed a bit." Jane peered out through the window, which in this, the older of the two hired carriages, was more translucent than transparent. The windows were closed, even though it made it a little stuffy. They had learnt that to leave the windows down filled the interior with road dust.

"Truly?" Jane sounded very excited at the prospect.

"Yes, if in the next minute or so we drop into a close wooded defile that then later opens up and the woods themselves thin as we ascend then it is definitely the place. Once we reach the top, you will see it to the left." Mrs Carter dropped the left window. "Or was it to the right?"

Mrs Carter looked out the window. The heavy layer of leaf litter meant there was no dust, and they could see out without hindrance. "No, yes... it'll be to your left, you're the ones facing forward, so that way." She closed the window to her left and opened the one on the other side. "It'll be about ten minutes at this pace then you'll see it over there." She pointed out the open window.

"But where is there?" asked Elizabeth.

"Where we will be staying while in Derbyshire," replied Mrs Carter.

"So is Lambton at the top of the rise?"

"Where we are stay is there, yes."

Satisfied that their destination was not that far away, Elizabeth sat back and continued to untangle the embroidery. Jane kept looking out the window, obviously eager to see the sights of Lambton, while looking ready to leap out and run ahead of the coach.

"There! There Elizabeth, look!" Jane exclaimed and pointed as the woods finished at the top of a ridge and they started down the other side.

Elizabeth looked from the coach expecting to see another town, like the last, laid out in the hollow before them, but shook her head, as if to clear the vision before her, not believing the sight.

There was a large handsome house, in dressed buff stone, with symmetrical wings and a large portico with four great columns about the generous entry. It sat in a commanding place part way up the slope on the opposite side of the valley they had just entered, framed by the darker woods on the ridges behind it. The sun was starting to cast lengthening shadows and changing hue, so the clean sandstone took on a golden timbre that almost shone. This then contrasted against the cool blues and greens of the surrounding parkland and stream that ran through the middle of the small valley. The stream had been constrained in some manner to open out like a large pond in front of the house but done in such a way that it appeared natural and without artifice. The banks of the stream and gardens around were in a natural style that meant they appeared neither formal nor falsely adorned.

The beauty laid out in front of her left Elizabeth breathless. They'd visited a number of great houses in this trip, several ostentatious in the extreme, but she had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by awkward taste or over- wrought formality. It was as if someone had taken what most epitomised her view of tasteful elegance and recreated it, here in this valley in Derbyshire.

Elizabeth looked for a road leading out of the valley, maybe that was where the town of Lambton was to be found, but the road ended at the house in front of them. Looking over at the other two, Jane was blushing and looking slightly sheepish and Mrs Carter had a supercilious smile across her face. Elizabeth knew that she had been fooled somehow, but exactly how escaped her. Well, for now, anyway.

They continued down the slope towards the house. As the coach negotiated a few abrupt turns forced on the route by the landscape, causing it to lurch uncomfortably, they all saw other, equally striking, prospects over the extensive grounds. At one such turn Elizabeth thought she had seen that view before, but could not place it. The feeling that she should know exactly where this was continued as they turn the corner and that specific view was left behind. But if this was where they were to stay for the duration, Elizabeth hoped she would be given time to explore. She was sure then must be any number of paths and walks to get lost in the beauty of nature to be found here.

Before long both coaches drew to a stop and everyone climbed out stretching and shaking out their stiffness. The unpacking was left to a multitude of efficient servants that appeared as out of nowhere, while the party was led up by the butler into the house itself. The interior reflected the taste of the exterior, although with more formal arrangements, as was fitting to the public parts of the house, yet in a softer palette and more delicate touch than Elizabeth expected, reminiscent of somewhere she'd seen, possibly quite recently.

Elizabeth's nagging feeling of familiarity continued as they passed several formal portraits, but the Elizabethan costumes made matching them to someone she knew difficult. In any case she was sure the owner of this place was about to be revealed, making all her deliberations moot.

After walking down a central passageway, the butler turned and led them into a drawing room, bright with the sun streaming in from the generous windows, leaving them blinking as their eyes adjusted from the relative dark of where they had just come from.

"Ah, you've arrived at last," came a pleasant baritone that could only be…

Mr Darcy!

Elizabeth felt her face flare bright red. Oh Lord! She'd missed all the clues leading up to this moment. Turning to hide her embarrassment Elizabeth noticed that none of the others were surprised in the slightest. Her Uncle was striding forward, followed by her Aunt and then the others.

"Mr Gardiner, how good to see you arrive safe and sound. Welcome to Pemberley."

"Thank you for the invite, Mr Darcy. We had a very pleasant trip, crowned of course, by our arrival here."

Mr Darcy then turned to introduce those already in the room, "May I introduce the Baron and Baroness Trentham, Reverend Featherstone and his wife Rebecca, Charles Bingley you already know, but I'm not sure you met his sister Miss Caroline Bingley, and his brother-in-law Mr Hurst and Mrs Louisa Hurst. My sister Georgiana needs no introduction, but I doubt any of you have met her companion Mrs Ainslie."

"Greetings to you all." Replied her Uncle, and then in turn proceeded to introduce them. Elizabeth wanted to turn and run. "This is my wife, Madeline. Here's Harry, James and Emily. The baby is Anne…" Elizabeth noticed that Charles's sister Caroline looked extremely peeved at the mention of a baby, "… My mother-in-law, Mrs Carter. I believe some of you already know my niece Miss Jane Bennet, and finally, her sister, Mrs Elizabeth Smith and her daughter Amy-Jane. "

Elizabeth was mortified to notice that Mr Darcy, although saying nothing, raise his eyebrows at her being introduced as Mrs Smith. She knew that later there'd some explaining to do.

Then to make her embarrassment almost total, Amy-Jane, who had been struggling to free her hand from Elizabeth's, broke free just at that moment and ran across the room yelling "'Giana! 'Giana!" and literally threw herself into Georgiana's arms.


I feel like I need to if not apologise, at least explain, the delay of this chapter as well. For the most of the last 2 months, I have been a solo Dad - my wife's job has taken her overseas for several weeks at a time. So writing time has been a rare commodity. It has also given me a great deal of admiration for those single parents that don't have a partner's return to look forward to. So if you are one and reading this, I take my hat off to you.

While I hope to be able to return to regular posting as I have done in the past, my wife often only gets a few days notice before she has to travel, and it does not look like this last few months is the end of it, so I suspect there will be further case of delayed posting.

But do not worry - the story is complete, if only in outline form - so all it needs is for me to flesh out each additional chapter - so to my loyal readers (and there seems to be a great deal of you, which makes me feel rather humbled), never fear, this will get finished - although probably not this year, but not long afterwards.

Final Note: The Gardiner's live on Gracechurch Street, not Wood Street - something specifically mentioned in P&P that I only noticed this week - so don't worry they haven't moved, it is still the same bright red door.