"Alright everyone, don't forget about your writing projects are due tomorrow. Class is dismissed, it's cold head home quickly" Elizabeth smiled ringing her cow bell as everyone quickly stood up.
"Who needs their scarves tied?" Elizabeth called as a few little ones ran over to her with help bundling up.
"Hey Kate, want to go to Abigail's for some tea and we can finish our projects together?" Laura asked.
"Sure" Kate nodded waving bye to James as everyone was leaving.
"Ok, let me go tell Ma and I will meet you there" Laura said hurrying out.
"Elizabeth are you staying here? Laura and I were going to go to Abigail's for tea and homework" Kate said. The cold January weather and Elizabeth's pregnancy was proving to make the long walk to the house feel even colder and slower. Jack had started hitching up the buggy each morning and giving the girls a ride to school. In the afternoon he would pick them up when he was done with work and drive them home.
"I might join you to visit with Abigail." Elizabeth sighed standing and rubbing her belly.
"You ok? You have been kind of slow this afternoon?" Kate asked softly as they made their way out of the school house into the cold.
"I have been feeling a little weird" Elizabeth agreed rubbing her belly again as the strange feeling came over.
"Pain? Should I go get Jack?" Kate asked worried.
"No, it's not pain. I want to talk to Abigail about it first, there's no use worrying over something that is nothing." Elizabeth said as Kate took her books from her carrying them.
"What if it's not, maybe you should go see Carson" Kate said quickly.
"Katie I am ok, I feel great, I am sure Abigail will say it's nothing.
"But if Abigail does say it's something?"
"Then I will send you to get Jack and will go to see Carson." Elizabeth assured her.
"Good" Kate said, but when Elizabeth glanced at her she was still biting her lip looking worried
"What's with the worrying sweetie?" Elizabeth asked as they stopped walking and she forced Kate to turn to her.
"I just don't want anything to happen to you" Kate sighed.
"Who says something is going to happen to me?" Elizabeth asked with a frown.
"I don't know." Kate shrugged.
"Yes you do."
"Can you just talk to Abigail please?" Kate asked looking up at Elizabeth her eyes begging.
"Yes. Come on, but you and I are going to talk about this later" Elizabeth said pulling open the back door to the cafe.
"Hi girls" Abigail gave them a smile looking up from the stove.
"Are there people in the cafe?" Kate asked.
"Molly and Dottie are finishing up their tea and then I was going to close to get ready for dinner" Abigail said.
"I will help them and close up." Kate said grabbing the tea kettle and going behind the curtain into the cafe dining room.
"Kate, Cody already…" Abigail started but Kate was gone.
"Code already filled their cups before going to play with Robert" Abigail said turning to Elizabeth.
"It's find, Laura is on her way to work on homework with her so they can drink it, Kate is a little off this afternoon" Elizabeth sighed unbuttoning her coat and allowing Abigail to lead her over to the sofa.
"What's going on?"
"I was telling her I wanted to talk to you about this weird feeling I was having and she got all worried. She almost panicked on the way here it was so strange."
"Well we will get back to that, but what have you been feeling?" Abigail asked as Elizabeth sucked in a breath rubbing her belly.
"Not pain, just this strange fluttering" Elizabeth said.
"Here?" Abigail asked putting her hand where Elizabeth's had just been.
"Yes, but it moves" Elizabeth nodded as they sat for a minute until she felt it again turning to Abigail quickly.
"See?" She asked. Abigail nodded and suddenly wiped tears from her eyes.
"What?" Elizabeth asked feeling her eyes going wide.
"Elizabeth, that's your baby moving" Abigail said smiling her eyes watery.
"Really?"
"Yes, it's totally normal, your baby is just not big enough for it to feel like an actual kick or bump yet" Abigail smiled.
"Oh, I suppose I never thought it would feel like that, thank you Abigail" Elizabeth smiled as her friend pulled her in for a warm hug.
"I can't wait to tell Jack, Kate will be so relieved." Elizabeth smiled now welcoming the strange feeling in her belly.
"What is Kate so worried about?"
"I'm not sure, I told her it was probably nothing, she just got so worried."
"Maybe she's just feeling uneasy about the baby coming soon."
"I don't think so, she was worried about me." Elizabeth sighed trying to think would could have set Kate off so much.
"Well If I know anything it's that you two will talk it out and get to the bottom of it." Abigail said getting up and getting Elizabeth a cup of tea.
"I suppose your right." Elizabeth nodded.
Jack picked them up an hour later and Laura waved good bye to Kate as they left the cafe.
"I made you some rolls for dinner." Abigail said pressing a basket into Elizabeth's hands as Jack climbed down from the wagon.
"Thank you, you spoil us" Elizabeth smiled at her.
"And you will let me!" Abigail told her.
"No argument there" Jack smiled taking the basket and putting it under the wagon seat.
"Bye Abigail" Kate said giving her a quick hug.
"Bye sweetie, remember I'm always here if you want to talk" Abigail said giving her a hug before she climbed into the back of the wagon.
"And you have some wonderful news to share tonight" Abigail smiled as Elizabeth gave her a hug before Jack helped her up and climbing up himself.
"See you tomorrow" Jack called flicking the reigns.
"I have something really special to show you after dinner today" Elizabeth told Jack softly as he drove them home.
"Oh yeah? What is it?" Jack asked turning to her as she wrapped herself around his arm.
"It's a surprise" Elizabeth smiled
"A good surprise?"
"A very good surprise" she smiled.
"Good" Jack smiled as Elizabeth glanced back at Kate who was watching the sunset quietly.
"Any idea what's going on with her?" Jack asked softly noticing Elizabeth watch Kate with worried eyes.
"Yes and no, I will talk to her later. Do you mind if we get some sister time while I make dinner?"
"Of course" Jack nodded.
"Thank you." Elizabeth pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"Kate how was school?" Jack asked.
"It was fine. We are reading our papers tomorrow." Kate said.
"Oh the one I helped you do on native fish?"
"Yeah, Elizabeth said older kids should have 3 pages but mine is 4."
"Well that's because you know your stuff" Jack looked back at her smiling.
"That's because you can really ramble on about native fish."Kate returned his smile and Elizabeth was glad to see she couldn't be upset. Kate usually asked Elizabeth for homework help of course, but this time she did her paper on fish and Jack was a lot more helpful. Elizabeth had loved watching the two of them read through books together at the table after dinner. Jack told Kate all his best fishing stories and Kate was really proud of the paper she had written.
"Home sweet home" Jack said pulling the wagon up by the barn and hopping down quickly going around the help Elizabeth down as Kate jumped down from the back.
"I'm going to get Sergeant settled and do the barn chores." Jack said.
"Thank you" Elizabeth smiled at him knowing that he would be out in the barn for a while giving her a chance to talk to Kate.
"Oh it's cold, can you start the fire?" Elizabeth asked as they went inside taking off their coats.
"Sure" Kate nodded going to their large fireplace as Elizabeth went to the kitchen to start dinner. She quickly put the chicken in the oven sitting down at the table to peel potatoes.
"Will you chop some carrots?" Elizabeth asked. Kate nodded picking up the knife.
"Do you want to talk about why you were so worried about the baby today?"
"What did Abigail say?"
"She said it's a good thing. Don't tell Jack I want to surprise him tonight, but it's actually the baby moving around" Elizabeth smiled and Kate let out a sigh of relief.
"That's wonderful" she smiled at Elizabeth.
"It is, but it doesn't explain why you were so upset."
"I was just worried." Kate shrugged.
"Worried about what exactly?" Elizabeth asked her gently.
"I don't know" Kate shrugged not looking up from the carrots she was chopping. Elizabeth gently reached out taking the knife from her and nudging Kate to sit in a chair at the table sinking down into the one next to her.
"Come on Katie, you know we have to talk about this. Are you worried about when the baby comes? Things will be different?"
"No"
"Then what?"
"What if your like mother?" Kate whispered.
"I don't understand" Elizabeth said confused.
"What if… what if you get sick like mother, like when I was born" Kate looked up at Elizabeth with tears gathering in her eyes and Elizabeth was taken aback. Kate wasn't normally so emotional.
"Oh sweetheart" Elizabeth cooed pulling Kate into her arms for a minute.
"Katie that's not going to happen" Elizabeth said letting her go and pulling back to look into Kate's eyes.
"You don't know that."
"Well, your right I don't, but I believe it won't. Kate, mother was sick the whole time she was carrying a child. I assume she was with me, I know she was with the others."
"the others?" Kate asked frowning slightly.
"Yes, I suppose you are old enough now, There are so many years between us because mother had other babies after me, before you. They all died before they were born because she was always so sickly when she was pregnant." Elizabeth said taking Kate's hand in hers.
"I didn't know that"
"Well I never told you that. Mother knew that her carrying children was a risk to her health. I suppose she thought in the end it would be alright because she had, had me."
"But it wasn't alright."
"No, but I think Mother knew that. As you got bigger she got sicker, I think she knew in her heart she wouldn't be alive to watch you grow. But you would be alive to grow and that's what mattered to her. Because she loved you so much." Elizabeth said reaching up to brush stray hairs from Kate's face.
"How can you love someone you don't even know that much?" Kate asked.
"Well, it's impossible to explain, but it is very true. I know that I love this baby already with my whole heart and its just a tiny person. You will understand when you have your own children one day. But I also know that I am very healthy. I feel wonderful, Carson and Abigail say everything is perfect. I don't want you to worry about me."
"It's just hard. Your the most important person in my life, and I am so happy for you and Jack and this baby, but…"
"Your worried. I know, and it's ok to be nervous. I am nervous about a lot of things, I cared for you a lot as a baby but I never changed a diaper for one I always handed you back to the nanny for that. I'm worried about how I will know if the baby is eating enough or happy or what to do if it cries all night. But just because I am worried about these things doesn't mean I am going to let them stop me from living and from experiencing such joys as having a child. Do you understand that?"
"Yeah" Kate nodded.
"I will make you a deal, I promise to tell you if Carson or Abigail or I think there is any cause to worry, as long as you try not to worry to much and just find the joy ok?"
"Ok" Kate nodded giving her a smile.
"And if you are worried you come talk to me so we can figure it out together ok? Promise?"
"I promise" Kate nodded.
"I love you very much" Elizabeth whispered pulling Kate into a hug feeling her sister melt into her.
"I love you too" Kate let out a sigh of relief she had been hanging onto all afternoon.
"So you felt the baby move?" Kate asked as she and Elizabeth turned back to their dinner.
"Yes, it's not much yet, a little flutter. Like having little butterflies inside me" Elizabeth smiled as Kate laughed.
"Kate seemed better after your talk." Jack said gently as he and Elizabeth sat on the sofa by the fire that night.
"She is, she was worried about me, because Mother died when she was born I think she's afraid that it will happen to me. I guess I had never sat her down and told her about how sick Mother always was, I never thought she was old enough but she is now and I am glad we talked about it."
"That makes sense. Did something happen to make her worried?" Jack asked concerned.
"I mentioned to her this funny feeling I was having. But I talked to Abigail and it's totally normal."
"What feeling?" Jack asked growing more concerned.
"That's what I wanted to show you, but I haven't felt it in a while." Elizabeth said putting her hand to her belly and nudging ever so gently. She was rewarded with the flutter again as she grinned.
"Give me your hand" She said and Jack watched her bewildered as she took his hand and placed it where the movement was.
"Elizabeth I don't…" Jack started after a minute then it happened again and he immediately cut himself off.
"What is that?" He asked staring at her belly.
"That's your baby Jack" Elizabeth smiled tears in her eyes as Jack moved his hand a little and was rewarded with another flutter.
"That's the baby moving?"
"mmhmm, it's finally big enough to feel. Abigail said it's going to get a lot stronger but… isn't it amazing"
"Yes! Oh my gosh that's our baby. Hi baby" Jack whispered leaning down to talk to her belly smiling so hard his cheeks were pink. Elizabeth felt her heart swell watching him, now both of his large hands covering her belly waiting to feel more.
"Jack" Elizabeth whispered running her fingers through his dark hair making it stand up.
"hmm?" Jack muttered still focused.
"I love you" Elizabeth whispered. Now Jack looked up from her belly holding her face in both his hands. He wasn't really a emotional person, she supposed it was trained out of him in the academy. It never showed on his face, but she felt like she knew him so well over the past few years she could see it in his eyes now. How he was feeling, what he was thinking. And now she was swept away by the emotion as he looked into her eyes.
"Oh Elizabeth, you have no idea" Jack told her softly and she, being the more emotional of the two of them felt a tear fall from her eye as she smiled and Jack wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. He held the back of her neck gently pulling her to him for a long deep kiss.
"How are you feeling? Tired?" Jack asked when they pulled away running his hand up and down her arm soothingly.
"No, I have a lot of energy tonight actually" Elizabeth dipped her head looking at him through her eyelashes in the way she knew made him crazy.
"Oh? Any idea what to do with it?" Jack asked.
"Maybe one" She smiled as him and suddenly she was in his arms as he picked her up off the couch carrying her up the stairs.
The next afternoon Jack came down the drive with a wagon full of wood as he rode it to the barn.
"Jack is home" Kate called seeing him go by the window as Elizabeth was making dinner.
"Oh good, it's getting so cold." Elizabeth smiled.
"He has a wagon full of wood, he's unloading in the barn, what's he making?" Kate asked
"I'm not sure, mind the stove, don't let it boil I'll go see if he needs any help." Elizabeth said putting on her coat and making her way to the barn where Jack was pulling pieces of wood from the back of the wagon.
"Hi, what's all this?" Elizabeth asked when he came out of the barn for another arm full.
"Hi, how was your day?" Jack asked with a smile going over to her for a quick kiss.
"It was good. You still haven't told me what this is." Elizabeth smiled.
"Oh well, I just thought I would get started on a cradle, that's unless you changed your mind. We can still buy one." Jack said quickly.
"Oh Jack, I can't believe you remembered." Elizabeth gasped thinking back to the conversation they had over a year ago before they were even married.
"Do you still want me to build it?" Jack asked.
"It would mean so much. I would love to put our baby in a cradle you made." Elizabeth smiled as he pulled her into his arms, her belly big enough to always be felt between them now, but he loved that he felt like he was holding them both.
"I thought maybe I could borrow some tools from Lee, make a little design on the head board." Jack said.
"That sounds beautiful" Elizabeth sighed.
It feels like it's getting closer now doesn't it? Getting to meet our little baby?" Jack smiled
"It does. I can't wait." Elizabeth smiled as his hands went to her belly and she moved her's to cover his.
"I know we made a rule with Kate no kissing in the barn, but it doesn't apply to us right?" Jack asked smirking at Elizabeth.
"Well, we made the rules we can change them as we please" Elizabeth smiled softly making Jack chuckle as he bent his head to kiss her pulling her as tight to him as he could.
"I love you." Jack whispered when they parted again and Elizabeth leaned into him as she caught her breath.
"I love you too." She smiled tucking her head under his chin.
"Woah there, pull up Kate" Jack called as Kate pulled Gracie to a stop by the lake. Jack and Sergeant trotted up next to them. They stood in silence looking over the frozen lake.
"I love winter. I know it's cold and the weather is hard.. but I love the stillness of it." Jack said softly They were bundled up warm and the sun was bright on the snow covered ground. Kate's breath made puffs into the air as she stared out into the silence that only a winter even could bring. Gracie pawed at the snow making it crunch pulling both her and Jack from their trance.
"How is the cradle coming?" Kate asked
"It's coming, I keep trying to make it perfect, it's not coming out the way I pictured it." Jack said with a little sigh.
"It doesn't have to be perfect, just functional."
"Elizabeth really wants me to make this cradle."
"Yes, but the idea of it means more to her then how it actually looks." Kate told him.
"I know, but I still want it to be perfect." Jack shrugged.
"You know Jack, The house, the cradle… You don't have to live up to any expectations Elizabeth has." Kate told him after they were silent for a minute.
"Sometimes I still feel like I do. You girls came from so much in Hamilton. She spent her whole life up until a few years ago thinking she was going to marry into a big house, a family with a good name and not want for anything in her life. You both were raised that way. Sometimes I'm just afraid she is going to wake up and realize that she missed out on something." Jack said with a little shrug. Kate turned to him surprised, it was rare for Jack to get so deep in emotion with her. Typically this was something he saved only for Elizabeth.
"She's never going to regret it Jack, I know I won't. We have all we could ever want here, you are everything she will ever need. And don't take that lightly because you know I think my sister deserves the world." Kate said making Jack chuckle a little.
"I know your right, sometimes I just need to remind myself that. Especially with this baby coming, I keep wondering if I will be enough." Jack sighed.
"You will be enough, you already are enough." Kate said firmly.
"Thank you Kate, come on let's get home for dinner." Jack said pulling Sergeant away and heading towards home.
"Late one home does the dishes tonight?" Kate challenged making Jack laugh.
"Your on!" He smiled as they kicked the horses into a gallop.
Elizabeth sat at her desk going over her lessons for the afternoon during recess when Jack slipped into her school house.
"This is a nice surprise" She smiled at him as he bent to give her a little kiss.
"What do I owe the pleasure?" She asked.
"I can't miss my beautiful wife? I also had something I need to talk to you about that couldn't wait for dinner" Jack said.
"What is it?"
"I got a telegram from headquarters today, they need me to oversee a transport." Jack said gently. Elizabeth sighed, she didn't think she would ever get used to Jack having to leave.
"How long will you be gone?"
"Two weeks, I know it's a lot right now" Jack sighed
"No, its better now then closer to when the baby is due." Elizabeth said giving him a smile.
"I am doing everything I can now so that when spring comes I can turn down assignments so I don't have to leave you."
"I know, and you have been here uninterrupted for a while." Elizabeth agreed.
"How did I get so luck to marry you?" Jack asked giving her a smile rubbing her finger where her wedding band sat.
"When do you leave?"
"I want to leave first light tomorrow, get there and get it started right away, the sooner we are moving the sooner I come back" Jack said.
"I'll come right after school and pack your things."
"No, Bill is taking over for me for the afternoon. I'm going to go home and pack and chop enough fire wood for you and get everything taken care of that I can." Jack said.
"You don't need to do that Jack, if you have two weeks of work ahead of you maybe you should rest.. or" Elizabeth started
"No, I have to leave you for a long time. At least let me take care of you until I have to leave." Jack said softly. Elizabeth nodded knowing there was no point in agreeing with him, she would not win.
"Alright, well I will still come home right after school to make you a good dinner. I will have Kate stop by Abigail's to pick up some bread and cheese to pack you." Elizabeth said.
"Thanks, I will see you soon" Jack nodded giving her another kiss before he went back outside.
"Kate!" Jack called waving her over as he left the school house.
"Hi" Kate called running over as Jack pulled her to sit down on the bench.
"I have to leave on assignment, I will be gone for two weeks, but I need to leave at first light tomorrow" Jack said.
"You have to go?" Kate asked her face falling.
"Yes, I don't have a choice." Jack sighed.
"Well, what can I do to help?" Kate asked. Jack gave her a smile.
"I'm going to bring Sergeant with me, but can you do all the barn chores for the week? Bill will be by to help with anything you need. And Lee said he would come check on you girls after dinner every night. Abigail is sending over some meals."
"Of course." Kate nodded.
"Thanks, I'm going to go take care of a few things before I go, I will see you at home." Jack said. Kate nodded going back to her fiends as Jack walked over to where the boys were playing catch.
"James" Jack called waving him over. James dropped the bat and ran over.
"I have to go away for a little while, can I depend on you to help me out with the girls while I am gone?" Jack asked.
"Oh yes sir" James nodded quickly.
"Great, come take a walk with me." Jack said as they started walking towards the land.
Jack was unusually silent as he and Elizabeth took a walk that evening. It was becoming tradition for them to take a walk around the land in the evening a few time a week when they could.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Elizabeth asked quietly slipping her hand into his. She would never get over how well her small hand fit into his larger one.
"I just… I hate that I have to leave you" Jack sighed. Elizabeth nodded, she had seen him warring with himself all evening.
"We have done it before, for longer." She reminded him gently.
"That was, that was different. I hated leaving you then, but now it's just making me feel sick." Jack sighed stopping to turn to Elizabeth, his hand finding her belly now big enough to show through her coat.
"Jack we will be fine"
"It's the middle of winter what if we get a storm, what if something happens to you or the baby and I'm not here?" He asked. His voice was a whisper and his eyes were locked onto her's clearly struggling.
"You cut us enough fire wood for two years. Abigail is here, Lee and Rosemary will be around, Bill will be here if we need him. We are going to be fine Jack, please just worry about you and coming back soon and safely." Elizabeth said softly reaching up and rubbing her thumb over his cheek.
"Do you regret marrying a mountie? Now that I have to leave you when your pregnant?" Jack asked softly.
"Never, not even for a second. I don't love you despite the fact that your a mountie Jack. I don't love that it can put you in danger and keep you from coming home to me some nights… But It's a part of you, and I love every single little part of you." She whispered watching emotion fill his eyes.
"I will be back as soon as I can, if I have to ride nonstop I swear Elizabeth."
"Good. Because I don't know what I could handle much more then this again." Elizabeth nodded looking up at him and Jack reached out pulling her into his chest and she cuddled in wishing she could bury herself into him and never have to let go.
The sun was just high enough to dimly light the room when Jack bend down kissing Elizabeth's cheek waking her up.
"I have to go" He whispered as she slowly woke up.
"Wait, I wanted to make you breakfast and see you off" Elizabeth said starting to get up.
"No, I want you to stay right here and go back to sleep, I just couldn't leave without saying good bye." Jack whispered his hands on her shoulders forcing her gently to stay in bed. Elizabeth sat up wrapping her arms around him as he held her tightly to his chest. She could feel how tense he was.
"We're going to be ok as long as you come home safely." Elizabeth said softly. The only other time he had been so reluctant to leave was when he was going to fight up north, to war with no idea when he would be back. This was a quick transport, something he had done a number of times and never struggled with before.
"I just hate leaving you like this" Jack whispered his hand going under the quilt and rubbing Elizabeth's belly over her cotton nightgown.
"Better now then in a few months."
"I'm so sorry I did this to you, you deserve a husband who doesn't leave you like this" Jack whispered resting his forehead on her's, his hand still rubbing her belly. Elizabeth reached up taking his face in her hands making him look at her.
"You are more then I deserve, You are a wonderful husband, and brother, and father. I love you, and we will be right here when you come back." She told him firmly.
"I love you" Jack sighed kissing her lips.
"I love you too, but now you have to go" Elizabeth gave him a strong smile.
"I will be back in two weeks." Jack said standing up.
"I know, we will be here" Elizabeth whispered. Jack kissed her hand and left the room not looking back or he knew he wouldn't be able to leave. As he went down the stairs Kate came out of her room.
"Hey, it's early and cold, go back to bed." Jack whispered.
"Do you need anything?" Kate asked pulling her quilt around her shoulders ignoring him.
"No I'm all packed." Jack sighed.
"I'll take care of her." Kate said.
"I know you will, thats the only reason I can bare to leave her, I know you will be here." Jack sighed pulling Kate into his side for a hug.
"Remember…" Jack started.
"I know, get Abigail for food, sickness or anything baby related, Bill for protection or anything animal related. Lee if anything breaks or if we need help in the middle of the night and Rosemary for company, entertainment or to cover for Elizabeth at school." Kate recited.
"What would I do without you." Jack chuckled tugging on her braid.
"Be safe." Kate said looking at him biting her lip.
"I will, and you are in charge until I get back, just don't tell Elizabeth" Jack whispered making Kate laugh as he kissed the top of his head tossing his bag over his shoulder.
"Get back to bed before you get sick" Jack said as Kate nodded going back into her room. Jack opened the door and Willow came running over.
"You stay girl, watch the house Willow, good good take care of them" Jack whispered scratching the puppies ears and then he was gone.
