"Why does Yasuo sound like an American?" -Mordekaiser


Something odd about Evelynn stuck out to Hecarim. Like the other Shadow Isles champions, she was undead. All of them had different kinds of "skin." Thresh was composed of oddly sorted bones, Hecarim himself was held together by his spirit's physical manifestation, Yorick had a blue-green skin tone to him, and Karthus was just a corpse moving around with a fancy hat on his head. Mordekaiser wore armor most of the time but had a surprisingly healthy skin tone, while Elise had a paler tone than the Master of Metal. Kalista was blue-greenish like Yorick, and Evelynn had a strong blue color.

But it was odd. The fact that Evelynn was blue. After all, one of her titles granted by the Institute of War was the "Widowmaker." Hecarim, however, recalled seeing the name "Widowmaker" in another video game before.

So a simple question that only he could think of in the most random of times came up to him.

Why were all Widowmakers blue?

He had seen it. In one of the few mainstream games Mordekaiser never played, a sniper specialist with the same title had blue skin. Did the name have some sort of symbolism to blue-skinned people? Hecarim thought all this while staring at Evelynn intently, sitting right next to her on Karthus' couch as the champions in the dorm watched the television.

A few seconds later, Evelynn turned to Hecarim's direction, blinking in confusion.

"Is something on my face?" She asked, quickly brushing her face with a finger to check for anything weird.

"No, I just find your blue skin to be weird."

"…Hecarim, nearly everyone here has weird skin," Evelynn scoffed at the Shadow of War. "Some of us don't even have skin in the first place."

"But your skin specifically is weird."

"Why?"

"You're weird."

"Yeah, so why?!"

"Just."

Evelynn lifted a leg before letting it crash down against Hecarim's head. Nobody cared except for Mordekaiser, who was not even in the dormitory in the first place.


To say that Yasuo was simply odd massively failed to express him properly. In the League, the Unforgiven slashed mercilessly with a keen sense on what could leave him or the other dead. Outside of it, he lived a rather straightforward life.

So when he saw Riven, he decided to just start running away from her for no reason.

"I'll kill you if I catch you," the Exile seethed as she ran down the first floor of the Champions' Break with her broken weapon in hand. "I still didn't forget about what you did to me in the mall…!"

Okay, so maybe he did have a reason. The other day, the Unforgiven met the Exile at the mall while he was looking for some culinary tools. He threw out a small tornado at her just for fun, but realized too late that it was the last thing he should have done when Riven wore a dress.

"It was a small breeze, Riven," Yasuo attempted to calmly explain his own actions on a plentifully eventful day. "I didn't see you were wearing a dress, so I just tossed some wind at you like I did to the others."

"No, you didn't. You only threw the wind at me! How dare you try to shame me in the public!"

Ironic as it sounded, the wind seemed to be Yasuo's only hope at the moment. Turning around, the swordsman unsheathed his blade and slashed at the air, sending a small tornado at her direction. Riven easily dodged the projectile.

Well, that's a problem, Yasuo thought as he turned back to focus on running again. Now I literally don't have anything else left aside from running away.

Once in a while, he threw out a tornado with his blade, but he could only take out so many tornados from his pockets. His mentors would be so proud of him for hopelessly running away from a Noxian while using a secret technique so openly.

There's gotta be something I could use to cut her off! The Unforgiven thought hastily as his fear elevated at the sight of the Exile gaining upon him. As he ran, he saw Irelia eating bread while sitting at one of the many water fountains in the lobby.

That's it! A brilliant idea came to the Ionian as he grinned. Heading over to her direction, Yasuo shouted,

"Irelia! Ireliaaaaa!"

"…? Ah, Yasuo?" Irelia responded, baffled by the fact that Yasuo out of all people would decide to call her name out. "What is it?"

"Tell Riven that she should try visiting the Ionian meeting room!"

Suddenly, Irelia's eyes shined brightly as she clasped her hands to each other. "Right on! Riveeeeeeen!"

Riven blinked, startled by Irelia getting in her way. The Will of the Blades waved her arms frantically as she exclaimed hopefully, "Let me show you around the Ionian meeting room! I can't believe I didn't show it to you all this ti-"

"Sorry, not now!" Riven shouted regretfully as she barged past her Ionian friend. Knocked away, Irelia managed to hold onto the bread she had been eating. She nibbled it as she flew to one of the sides of the lobby.

"Oh. I see…" Irelia whispered, her smile intact but her heart broken over the fact that there was so little people interested in the Ionian meeting room. "Carry on, then…"

The woman collapsed with the bread still in her hands.

Sh-Sh*t, that didn't work out well! Yasuo screamed internally as he saw Riven advance towards him yet again. I better find something that could let me "Hasagi and chill," but…

There was no other distraction Yasuo could possibly use at the moment. If that was the case, then he would have to press on! To the second floor! He thought valiantly as he leapt up the stairs.

As Riven approached him in the middle of the stairs, Yasuo saw Malzahar teaching one of his Voidlings how to perform a simple dance. The Voidling took forever to learn it, and there seemed to be no progress at all.

Not that Yasuo gave a damn. "Malzahar!" Yasuo called out to the Prophet of the Void. When the purple-hooded man turned to him, the Unforgiven cried, "Riven said your Voidling looks like a banana!"

"?!"

Infuriated beyond control, Malzahar screamed in rage as he channeled his infinite energy of chaotic Void power. His hands crackling with Void energy, he roared, "DON'T COMPARE MY MINIONS WITH SORAKA, DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

Riven b*tch-slapped Malzahar, instantly knocking him out and sending him toppling down the stairs in painful rage. His Voidling tripped down the stairs as well and screamed something about going back home in its own language.

Somewhere near the Battle Quarters, Soraka, who was about to participate in a League match, sneezed for no real reason.

That didn't work either… Yasuo thought grimly as he ran into the second floor of the Champions' Break. Figures. Riven's a monster of a woman. Heck, she's a monster of a man, too. The hell is she made out of?

As he churned his brain power on ways to avoid encountering Riven in a full-frontal duel that could potentially tear him apart, Yasuo's eyes fell upon Teemo, who walked down the lobby without a single care in the world.

Until Yasuo picked him up.

"…WaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT'S GOING O-"

The instant moment Riven saw Teemo being thrown at her, she smacked the Yordle away and picked up the pace with her running.

Of course that didn't work.

Thankfully, there seemed to be a few more distractions left that the Unforgiven could use. He continued to run for his life as the Exile gained upon him.


Mordekaiser ate some Snickers at the third floor lobby. Seeing this, Talon sat next to the Master of Metal and opened his own Snickers wrapper as well.

Suddenly, Kassadin burst out of the wrapping and punched the Blade's Shadow across the face. Surprised out of his mind, Talon had no time to scream before he fainted instantly. The Voidwalker laughed as he vanished into thin air.

Meanwhile, the lord of undead continued to eat his Snickers. He didn't even bother to look at the event that transpired next to him, considering it to be a normal interaction between some of the champions in the League. He did not consider visiting a psychiatrist because it was probably too late to save him from insanity, anyway.

As he took another bite out of the chocolate, however, he felt the presence of a peaceful maiden approach him. He turned to her, already knowing who it was.

"What're you doing here, Maven of Strings?" He asked as he cackled. "I'm just eating some Snickers to plot a new scheme of mine."

"Scheme…?" Sona asked worriedly.

"…Basically, I'm just doing nothing."

"O-Oh."

Her hands behind her back, the blue-haired maiden bit the bottom of her lip as she averted her gaze from the Master of Metal. A question lingered in her mind ever since she saw what LeBlanc would describe to be "sexy" in Mordekaiser's dorm. Everyone had their charms, and so did Vi, who sported a healthy body and a friendly attitude despite appearing to be rough.

Sona liked Vi. They were great friends, and the Piltover Enforcer always pushed her in getting the courage to try out new things. She did not doubt the pink-haired woman, yet she found herself curious as to why she took a bath in a dormitory completely unrelated to her friends from Piltover.

"L-Lord Mordekaiser? May I ask a question?"

"Shoot," the Shadow Isles warlord mumbled with chocolate stuffed into his mouth.

Composing herself was not an easy task, especially when the question she wanted to ask seemed quite childish and embarrassing for her to say. Her face reddening, she hesitated, wondering how she could word the question without making Mordekaiser feel uncomfortable.

But at that moment, the voice of Yasuo shouted across the lobby,

"MORDEKAISER!"

His eyes turning to the sound's direction, Mordekaiser got up as he finished off the rest of the Snickers in hand.

Far down the lobby ran Yasuo, who was followed not only by Riven, but Urgot as well. The sight of the spider-like legs moving quickly almost triggered the lord of undead as he remembered the Headsman's Pride trying to embrace him under the influence of a love potion…

"I ACCIDENTALLY MADE FUN OF URGOT'S FAT, CAN YOU STOP THEM PLEASE?!" Yasuo begged as he barely dodged the crab Urgot had been eating before he started chasing the Unforgiven. "PLEASE?!"

Rolling his eyes, Mordekaiser cracked his knuckles. Surely, punching the lights out of Riven and Urgot would serve as a better stress-killer than eating Snickers. Charging forward, the iron man let out a battle cry as he prepared to deliver a haymaker on both the Exile and the Headsman's Pride.

Everything went wrong from there.

Losing his pace, Urgot tripped and made Riven crash into him. Desperate to keep going, Riven leapt, only to have her legs get caught by the large Noxian's stomach as she fell forward haplessly. Her eyes wide in surprise, she fell straight towards Mordekaiser's spiky armor.

"…Wait, what the FU-"

The Master of Metal fell as the Exile crashed onto him. He, too, had no idea as to what Riven was made out of, for she actually sent him crashing against the ground with the sheer force of her momentum. Mordekaiser let out a single, flabbergasted cough as Riven groggily attempted to get back up.

And unfortunately for Sona, the sight of Riven brushing her body so much against the Shadow Isles warlord's armor brought back the clear image of Vi in a bathrobe. Her face reddening even more than it had and her eyes wide, the Maven of Strings' mind blanked out.

Shortly afterward, she pulled her lips and made an incredibly flustered frown.

"I…"

Covering her red face as she ran out of the scene, Sona squeaked in despair, "This is too much for me…! I-I'm sorry, Lord Mordekaiser!"

But the Master of Metal did not hear her. Instead, he decided to push Riven off of himself as he got up. The Exile had fallen unconscious, sliding off of him easily much to his own fortune.

A panting Yasuo walked over to Mordekaiser as he put a hand on one of the iron man's pauldrons as he muttered,

"Thanks… Holy… crap. She runs at the speed of a bullet train-"

Mordekaiser punched him at the speed of a bullet train.

"AUGHBWAFAGHA!"

"STOP RUINING MY DAY, YOU DERANGED FLIES!"

Unaware of Sona's presence going missing while the great crash had transpired, Urgot farted so loudly, he made Mordekaiser faint for a whole thirty minutes out of the sheer shock of hearing it.


Author's Notes:

Next chapter – "No Smoking!"

Reviews are always appreciated, and so are favs n' follows from you guest readers! :D

-NK-