AN: This chapter is dedicated to Rivera. Her spanish translations totally transformed a section in this chapter and raised the bar for future Lopez family conversations.

As always, thank you to my amazing beta breakdown6 for her patience and constant encouragement to continue writing.

Chapter 50


Santana tucks the blanket in around a sleeping Tony and pulls his thumb out of his mouth. She turns to her wife and whispers, "We gotta get him to stop sucking his thumb."

"He's three."

"It's a bad habit and we shouldn't let him get used to it."

Brittany smiles adoringly at Tony. "But, he's so cute."

"You know what the experts say? Don't let a toddler do anything you wouldn't want a ten year old to do. Bad habits are hard to break." Brittany seems unbothered by this information so Santana adds, "Plus, it leads to overbites and braces. Do you really want Tony to suffer with that damn head gear that my brother had to wear?"

Brittany's face contorts with worry for future Tony and she admits, "No." She leans down to kiss his forehead and whispers, hoping to reach his subconscious, "Honey, stop sucking your thumb, okay?" Santana grins at her wife's cuteness. Brittany turns to face Ella, notices a deep crease on her daughter's forehead and waves Santana over. "Hon, have you ever noticed that Ella scrunches her eyebrows just like you do?"

Santana furrows her brows and squints, trying to get a closer look at her daughter in the dim room.

Brittany giggles and taps her wife's forehead. "Yah, just like that."

Santana feels for the crease between her eyebrows then rubs at the tiny indent on Ella's.

"I not sleeping," says Ella groggily.

Santana's hand retracts in surprise, but she quickly recovers and strokes Ella's hair soothingly. "Did we wake you up?"

Ella nods. "I hear-ded Mama laughing."

Brittany kisses her forehead. "I'm sorry, honey. We just came over to tuck you in and kiss you goodnight."

Ella yawns, closes her eyes and falls asleep.

Santana pulls Brittany out of the room and into the hall. "You know, everyone says that their children are the cutest, but I seriously think that Ella and Tony are the most adorable kids in the world."

Brittany beams. "Of course they are - they're ours."

Santana rises up on the tip of her toes to kiss her wife, but Brittany leans back and pulls her lips into her mouth. "Thanks, I forgot about the fricken hot sauce from hell - though I'm sure it's gone by now."

"Let's wait 'til I brush my teeth to be safe."

"Hon, if you like that stuff so much, why don't you ask your dad to give you your own bottle?"

"Risk my sweet lady kisses? Estas loca?" (Are you crazy?)

Brittany casually using Spanish? Damn, that's hot! Santana presses her wife against the wall and kisses her neck.

Brittany smirks, knowing exactly what speaking spanish does to her wife. "Mas." (More.)

Santana sucks lightly and moves higher to kiss just below her wife's ear. Pulling the earlobe into her mouth, she bites gently then traces the shell of Brittany's ear and places a soft kiss over the tiny tragus piercing.

Quinn calls to them from the bottom of the stairs. "Come on, I wantz to get my bacon on!"

Brittany laughs at her friend but whispers to Santana, "Besame." (Kiss me.)

Santana eagerly returns to her wife's neck but Quinn storms up the stairs and yanks her away from Brittany. "You guys are torturing me. Let's go!"


An hour later, Santana washes the dish in her hand and passes it to her mother. "How are you doing, Mami?"

Mrs. Lopez responds softly with a quiver in her voice. "I don't know what I would do without him."

"Mami, he'll be fine. Papi is strong and so are you."

"Ya se." (I know.)

Santana squints out the window at a tiny glowing light at the far end of the backyard. "What is that?" She flips the switch by the back door and bathes the yard in light - exposing her father and his cigar. "Papi!"

"Santana -" calls out Mrs. Lopez.

Santana ignores her and struts out to her father. "Qué está pasando contigo? No deberías estar fumando!" (What's the matter with you? You're not supposed to be smoking!)

"Santana," her father warns.

"NO! Estas loco? Te qieres morir? Bajalo ahora!" (Are you crazy? Do you want to die? Put it down now!)

Mrs. Lopez slides up beside her husband. "Santana, no hagas una escena." (Do not make a scene.)

"Que no haga una escena? That's what you're worried about? Me making a scene? What about Papi dying from that heart-attack-on-a-stick?"

"Santana, I am a grown man. No me trates como un nino." (Do not treat me like a child.)

"But -"

"Mija I know you are worried, but please calm down."

Brittany tells the others who have gathered in the kitchen to return to the living room, but joins the Lopez family in the yard to stands supportively beside her wife. "Honey?" In lieu of an explanation, Santana angrily points at her father's cigar. Brittany looks to her in-laws then slides her hand into Santana's. "Baby, let's go inside."

"NO! He shouldn't be -"

Brittany hugs her wife tight and whispers in her ear. "Santana, I need you to calm down before you give yourself a heart attack."

Santana grunts in response and tries to free herself from her wife's embrace, but Brittany holds tight. "Please."

Santana's shoulder's slump in acceptance and Brittany loosens her grip. "Fine, you handle this." She turns her back on her parents and crosses her arms angrily.

Brittany takes a deep breath and spares a moment to collect her thoughts - wondering how Mr. Lopez will react to her involvement in a conversation this personal. She reaches over and uncrosses Santana's arms so she can feel her wife's hand in hers then begins carefully. "We all need to calm down so we can discuss this rationally."

Mr. Lopez spits out, "There's nothing to discuss. Santana cannot tell me what to do."

"Antonio, por favor dejala hablar," begs Mrs. Lopez. (Please let her talk.)

Much like Santana, Mr. Lopez grunts and crosses his arms but remains silent and allows Brittany to continue.

"Thank you." Brittany turns to face Mr. Lopez. "Papi, te amamos. Por favor trata de entender que queremos lo mejor para ti y nuestra familia." She feels Santana squeeze her hand tight in agreement and for encouragement to continue. "Creo que tu sabes muy bien que tan peligroso es fumar. Te necesitamos en nuestra vida." Brittany knows that her next statement is a low blow but she's not going to pull any punches. "Tony Y Ella te necesitan, por favor."

(Papi, we love you. Please try to understand that we want what's best for you and our family. I think you know very well how dangerous smoking is. We need you in our lives. Ella and Tony need you, please.)

Mr. Lopez cannot ignore Brittany's passionate and eloquent plea which made an even stronger impact because it was said in spanish. He smiles affectionately at Brittany. "Tienes razon." (You're right.) He stubs out his cigar and holds his arms out. Brittany and Santana rush into them but he holds Santana at arms length and waits for her to add her two cents.

"Ummm, lo que ella dijo." (What she said.)

Mr. Lopez laughs heartily. "Your wife is very wise."

Santana beams proudly. "Dime algo que no se." (Tell me something I don't know.) She hugs her father tight and reaches out for her mother. "Mami, ven para aca." (Come here.)


After the parents leave, the friends gather in the living room, trying to decide what to do.

"We could play a board game," suggests Brittany.

"Taboo?" asks Quinn.

"Candyland!" teases Brittany.

Santana suggests, "Cranium?"

"YES!" Quinn jumps up to get the game.

"What's Cranium?" asks Blaine.

"It's like all your favorite games rolled into one! There's four categories..."

Ten minutes later, the rules are explained and the game is set up. The teams are Santana and Blaine against Brittany and Quinn. Rachel opted to be the time keeper. Disappointed, Quinn asks, "Are you sure you don't want to play? Britt can bounce between both teams."

"No, I'm fine. I'd rather watch."

Brittany feels bad for Quinn and silently asks Santana if she can tag her. Santana nods and Brittany jumps up, "Who wants wine?" Blaine and Rachel both raise their hands. Brittany returns with three glasses of wine and two bottles of water. She hands the wine to Quinn who looks up at her curiously. Brittany winks and Quinn accepts the glass gratefully.

"We're first," announces Santana. She rolls the dice and lands on Star Performer which is like Charades or Name That Celebrity. Rachel sets the timer and Santana jumps up, dusts off an imaginary hat and places it on her head. She raises her eyebrows to open her eyes wider, purses her lips and twitches her mouth from side to side while turning her feet out, waddling forward and swinging an imaginary cane.

Blaine guesses correctly, "Charlie Chaplin!" Santana nods and drops down into her seat. "That was a spot on impression."

"Thanks." Santana beams happily and points to Quinn. "Your turn."

Quinn rolls and lands on the Data Head category. "True or False. Rainbows consist of seven distinct spectral colors."

Brittany's tongue peaks out from the side of her mouth while she counts colors and ticks them off one by one on her hand.

"False."

Quinn gives her a high five, much to Rachel's confusion. "That card is incorrect. There are seven colors - thus the mnemonic Roy G. Biv - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet."

Brittany opens her mouth to explain that indigo was removed since the wavelength it is found at is difficult to distinguish with the human eye, but decides not to waste her time. She shrugs, "I guess indigo was sick the day the writer of this game saw a rainbow and made this question." Santana frowns in concern because Brittany hasn't pulled her I'm-too-dumb-to-be-taken-seriously act in a long time. She's about to say something when Brittany points to Blaine. "Your turn."

They play for several rounds and Brittany's headache worsens. Quinn notices her rubbing her own neck and pulls her foot into her lap and starts to rub away the tension, for which Brittany smiles gratefully. Rachel can't help but stare at Quinn's hands and feel a little jealous.

Santana correctly answers another question and receives a high five from Blaine. She turns to tell Brittany how much fun she's having, but is concerned when she sees her wife's pained expression. She heads to the kitchen and returns with an ice cold coke and 2 ibuprofen capsules. "Here baby."

"Mmmm," Her foot still in Quinn's lap, Brittany swallows the pills and glances between her best friends. "You guys spoil me."

Santana leans down and kisses her head. "You're worth spoiling." She turns to Quinn, "How about we just relax and watch a movie?"

Blaine nods agreeably. "Sounds good to me, but if Brittany isn't feeling well, we can call it a night."

Quinn looks to Rachel, then to Brittany and Santana. Brittany gets the hint and says, "No, don't go. A movie sounds great."

They clean up the game and refill the drinks. Quinn asks, "How about Princess Bride?"

"Ooooh, perfect! Haven't watched that in ages," says Brittany. "Blaine, have you seen it before?"

Blaine turns to her dramatically, doing his best Vizzini impression - his expression pinched and arrogant, his speech lisped and his finger pointing dramatically. "You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool!... Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha..." Blaine topples over to the ground, mimicking Vizzini's death.

The girls (minus Rachel - who has never seen the movie) roar in laughter and Brittany reaches over for a high five. "I like you."

Blaine blushes, remembering his earlier comment. "I like you, too."

Santana sinks into the armchair and holds her arms out for Brittany to join her. The blonde jumps up off the floor and is about to hop into her lap when she runs past her instead. Santana leans her head on the back of the chair and watches upside down as Brittany rushes up the stairs. She lifts her head in confusion, but quickly puts two and two together and smirks.

Quinn and Rachel sit next to each other on the three seater couch. Blaine makes himself comfortable on the floor in front of the third cushion and leans against the couch. As the movie starts and the boy on the screen plays a video game, Quinn says, "I miss Atari."

Santana corrects her. "That's a Commodore 64."

Quinn coughs, "Geek." Brittany hops onto Santana's lap and unceremoniously kisses her wife passionately. Quinn throws a pillow at them. "Down girl!"

Brittany turns to her and sticks her tongue out. "Can't help myself. This geek is so damn sexy!"

Santana smacks her lips together and smiles goofily. "Minty."

Brittany pecks her wife one more time then turns in her seat to face the television and Santana immediately starts to rub her neck and shoulders.

Rachel bites her lip - wishing she could climb into Quinn's lap the same way. Instead, she shifts to lean against the arm of the couch. Quinn turns to her and whispers, "What's wrong?"

"I have a little headache, too. Just trying to get comfortable." Quinn pulls Rachel's feet into her lap and starts massaging but turns her attention back to the movie - missing Rachel's satisfied smirk.

Blaine, Brittany, Santana and Quinn all mirror the character on the screen. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"Are you guys going to do that throughout the entire movie?" asks Rachel.

Santana says, "Duh! That's how you watch The Princess Bride."

Quinn adds, "It's too bad Britt has a headache. Usually she and Santana would be reenacting the sword fight duel. It's amazing to watch."

Blaine turns to them in awe. Santana kisses Brittany's shoulder, feeling very comfortable and loving that Blaine doesn't care that they are dorks.

Quinn looks down to her lap and frowns as her hands start to tingle in discomfort whenever they touch Rachel's feet. She forces herself to continue, but knows she isn't doing a great job - not that Rachel seems to notice. She turns to her left and looks at Santana's feet, then Brittany's and feels no discomfort. But, when she looks at Rachel's feet her stomach tightens and hands tingle again. What's that about? I've never cared about touching people's feet. Though I guess I've only ever massaged S and B. She leans forward a little and peeks at Blaine's feet. Ew, hairy toes. Again, her hands tingle. Huh. Interesting. She lifts Rachel's feet off her lap. "I'll get us more wine."

Quinn returns from the kitchen with a bottle of wine, pita chips and hummus and sees Rachel texting someone. She tries to ask nonchalantly, "Who ya talking to?"

"Finn."

Quinn checks for Santana's reaction out of the corner of her eye and as expected, sees her friend tense at the man's name. She watches as Brittany leans back, pulls Santana's hands off her shoulders, brings them down to wrap around her waist and laces their fingers together.

Brittany leans her ear against her wife's cheek and can hear Santana grinding her teeth. Turning her head, she nudges her nose against her wife's jaw until Santana turns to face her and allows her lips to be captured. Brittany whispers, "I love you."

Quinn turns back to Rachel and holds out the bottle, offering her more wine. The brunette smiles and lifts her glass.

Santana taps Brittany's leg, indicating that she'd like some hummus. Her wife responds by reaching over and dipping her finger in the bowl and bringing it to Santana's lips.

"Ew Brittany. Use a chip," scolds Rachel.

Quinn laughs. "Don't be such a grump Rach." She dips her finger into the hummus and holds it in front of Rachel's mouth, daring her to let loose a little. Rachel hesitates and before she can react, Quinn leans forward and smears the hummus on her nose.

"Ahhhh!" Rachel cries out, reaches for a napkin and wraps it around her nose to clean off every last drop. Quinn raises a manicured brow, turns to Santana and Brittany, and rolls her eyes. Rachel announces that she needs to wash her face and leaves the living room.

On screen, Buttercup has just pushed Wesley dressed as the Dread Pirate Roberts down a hill. All four say, "Aaaaaas Youuuuuuu Wisssshhhhhh!"

Blaine and Brittany catch each other's eyes and she hops over to lay beside him and rests on one elbow. She wraps her other arm over him and pulls him close and asks breathlessly in a low voice to mimic Wesley, "Can you move at all?"

Blaine cups her cheek and responds as Buttercup, the female lead, his voice high and adoring. "Move? You're alive. If you want, I can fly."

Rachel returns and stops to watch the performance.

Brittany does her best to look serious and lowers her face closer to Blaine's. "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for awhile."

"I will never doubt again."

"There will never be a need." Brittany leans down and mashes her lips against Blaine's, dramatically turning her head from side to side. Santana and Quinn jump up from their seats and burst into applause.

"Bravo, bravo!" says Quinn.

Blaine and Brittany stand up and take their bows.

Rachel walks further into the room. "You guys are so weird."

Santana bristles and snaps, "Look Yentl, just because this isn't a Sound of Music sing along, doesn't mean you can rain on our parade."

Rachel frowns thoroughly appalled. "You have inappropriately mixed three musical references."

"You know what - " Santana takes a step towards Rachel but Quinn cuts her off.

"Rach, let's go make coffee." Quinn yanks the brunette into the kitchen and practically whips her into the room. She opens her mouth to chastise the girl for her judgmental, condescending attitude but finds herself at a loss for how to do so. If she says what's on her mind, she'll switch into HBIC mode and she doesn't want to do that. Quinn takes a breath and exhales slowly. "Rachel, we really love this movie. If we were watching Funny Girl, would you want us to mock you every time you broke into song?" Rachel shakes her head. "Okay, so please don't ruin this for us."

Rachel responds sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I'll go apologize."

Quinn grabs her by the wrist. "That's not necessary. Just, relax a little, okay?" Rachel nods feeling very contrite. Quinn fills the coffee maker and adds the delicious Chocolate Macadamia Kona Coffee blend and starts the machine. "Let's go outside for a bit and get some air." They walk out into the backyard and pull up two lounge chairs to face each other. "Tell me about the play. What's it like to travel from city to city?"

Rachel tells Quinn about traveling via bus (It's hot and the dancers need to bathe more often.), being in love with Blaine on stage (He's a great kisser and has a nice ass.), her fathers (They want to move to New York, but she prefers the distance.), and finally about Finn (He's broken up with his girlfriend and asked her to dinner tomorrow night.)

"Are you going to dinner with him?" asks Quinn.

"I haven't decided, yet. I'm curious to see him again, but I'm sort of interested in someone else."

"Oh? Anyone I know?"

"Ummm, maybe, kind of... well... yes, you do."

Quinn is suddenly very nervous to be alone with the brunette and changes the subject. "Have you ever dated a woman?"

Rachel is surprised that Quinn doesn't press further but is also relieved. "Yes. I've never been in a relationship with one but I have dated them."

"Them? You've dated more than one woman?"

"Yes, three to be exact, but I only slept with two of them. The third was a little too gay."

"How can someone be too gay?"

"Well, I only saw her on stage when she was wearing makeup and a costume and we made out a few times in the dressing room. But, when we went out in public, she was wearing flannel and basketball shorts and I lost interest."

"Okay, that's fair, I guess. Everyone has a right to their preference and butch isn't yours. What is your type?"

"I'm not sure I have one yet, but definitely a feminine woman. What's your type?"

Quinn ponders this question for a minute. What do I want? "Someone who can converse on any topic without coming across as an arrogant know it all. Someone who takes an interest in me without smothering me. Someone who makes me laugh and isn't afraid to laugh at themselves." Quinn smiles to herself. For the first time, she isn't looking to Brittana's relationship to decide what she wants for herself. She's actually starting to figure out what makes her happy.

Rachel nods and drunkenly says, "I can see why you left Puck. Converse on any topic?" She laughs, "Well, I guess he could do it as long as you don't expect him to say anything intelligent on the matter."

"Excuse me?"

Rachel's eyes widen at hearing Quinn's tone and she back pedals quickly. "I'm sorry. I've had a lot of wine and am saying things I shouldn't be saying because when I say them then they are said and they shouldn't be said."

Quinn tries to comprehend Rachel's ramble but decides it isn't necessary. "It's true, Puck isn't my ideal mate but he is a wonderful man and an excellent father. And honestly, I don't think you know Puck anymore."

"Of course, of course. I know. I mean we dated back in high school. That was years ago. I'm sure he's changed. I'm sure he is great. I mean, I wouldn't have dated him if he was a total loser." Rachel winces and almost slaps herself on the forehead. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it came out."

Quinn shakes her head. "Let's change the subject, shall we?"

"Yes please!"

"Are you going to Tina's shower next weekend?"

"No, I wish I could but we'll be on the road." Rachel sighs in disappointment. "I really need to get them a gift. Do you want to go shopping with me tomorrow?"

"Sure."


Meanwhile, Santana had calmed down fairly quickly after Quinn ushered Rachel outside. Santana, Brittany and Blaine returned to watching the movie - goofily quoting characters and mimicking actions on the screen.

Brittany almost peed her pants when Santana and Blaine became Miracle Max and his wife. There's something about watching her breathtakingly gorgeous wife act like a complete dork alongside the man she couldn't stand in high school that makes her heart swell with adoration. God, I love this woman.

Santana wipes the happy tears from her eyes as she falls into her wife's lap. Brittany kisses her once, her eyes sparkling with affection. "Having a good night?"

"The best." Santana kisses Brittany on the nose. "How's your head?"

"It's much better." Brittany stretches her arms exaggeratedly and pretends to yawn. "Estoy cansada, vamonos ala cama." (I'm tired, let's go to bed.)

Santana would like nothing more than to take her wife upstairs, but there are still guests in their house. "Soon, baby."

"But San, estoy can-sa-da," Brittany pulls her wife down further on the right side of her to block her left hand from Blaine's view and slides it into Santana's shirt. "Aren't you tired?"

"I... uh..." Santana blushes and checks on Blaine out of the corner of her eye, trying to decide what to do. Fortunately, he's busy watching the special features of the DVD.

Brittany raises an eyebrow and smirks at her wife's inability to form a coherent sentence. She pinches a nipple. "Well?"

"Soon, okay?" Brittany narrows her eyes in challenge and gives her wife a lopsided smirk. Within seconds, her hand is sliding into her wife's pants. Flustered, Santana jumps off of her and stands there, mouth agape. "Pórtate bien!" (Behave yourself!)

Quinn walks in with the tray of coffee, donuts and fruit, and shakes her head at her best friend. Clearly, Brittany is ready for bed and Santana is trying to fend off her wandering hands. Ten years and those two are still horny teenagers. She scolds, "B, esas manos." Quinn places the tray on the coffee table, still shaking her head.

Brittany immediately folds her hands in her lap and mouths, "Sorry."

Blaine turns off the television, hands Brittany a mug of coffee and says with a laugh, "No quiero saber donde estuvieron tus manos, Britt." (I don't want to know where your hands were at, Britt.)

Santana blushes. "Shit, does everyone we know speak spanish?"

Blaine, Brittany and Quinn laugh as Rachel walks in with the whipped cream. "What's so funny?"

"No digan nada!" Santana points to the hyenas around her. (Don't say anything!)

"Don't say anything about what?" asks Rachel.

"Dammit!" screams Santana.

Brittany grins mischievously. "Nos estábamos riendo porque Quinn me atrapó con mi mano debajo de los pantalones de Santana y me regañó en español pero Blaine lo entendió asi que Santana se puso roja como un tomate y ahora te lo estoy explicando a ti." (We were laughing because Quinn caught me with my hand down Santana's pants and scolded me in Spanish but Blaine understood it so Santana blushed to a dark shade of tomato and then you walked in and now I'm explaining it to you.)

Rachel and Blaine stand in awe and confusion, having no idea what Brittany just said. Quinn caught bits and pieces but was more focused on that much spanish coming out of Brittany. "Damn, that was soooo hot."

Santana grabs Brittany. "Estoy cansada, vamonos ala cama."

Brittany beams triumphantly. "Finally!"

Blaine watches the girls leave and stands with the others in an awkward silence. He clears his throat and turns to Quinn with a grin. "I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"

Quinn laughs out loud and answers as scripted. "Do you always begin conversations this way?"

They laugh at their shared Princess Bride obsession and soon Santana and Brittany and their rushed departure is forgotten. Rachel sighs, feeling left out. Quinn feels badly for ignoring her and recites, "Filet de boeuf, sauce bordelaise."

Rachel breaks out into a huge cheshire grin and responds to the Funny Girl line in her best Barbra Streisand impersonation. "I would have ordered roast beef and potatoes."

"I did."

"If I can't tell when you're ordering roast beef and potatoes, how will I know when you're making advances?"

Quinn winks and responds in her best Omar Shariff impression. "You'll know. I'll be much more direct."

Rachel laughs and throws her arms around Quinn, grateful for being included in the movie game. "Thank you."

Blaine sips his coffee and smiles at the interaction. Interesting. Very interesting.


AN: Please review. :)

For video clips of the Princess Bride scenes used in this chapter, head over to my Tumblr. I'm ASLGoofy.