Becca - That's a really good point that I hadn't even considered.

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"What?" Kurt asked. He was still having trouble believing he had kissed Blaine in the first place. It was so out of character for him, and even though it was only a little peck, it wasn't just a kiss on the cheek. For some reason, he seemed to have no respect for personal boundaries when it came to Blaine, and although Blaine didn't seem particularly bothered by it, Kurt was. Did I just want to see what it felt like to take a dare for once in my life? Did I just want to see what it felt like to kiss someone? Am I just losing my mind?

"Did I kiss you back?" Blaine repeated, the smile on his lips masking the pounding of his heart. I don't know if I want him to say 'yes' or 'no'.

"Normally I'd say that I don't kiss and tell, but I guess that doesn't quite apply here," Kurt said, "although, if you don't even know if you kissed back or not, it must not have been much of a kiss."

"Hey! I was asleep," Blaine protested, "and how much kissing and not telling have you done, anyway?"

"'If I tell you Heidi will have to kill you, so please don't ask,'" Kurt quoted gleefully.

"Now that really doesn't apply here! You're not going to answer my question, are you?"

"Good grief, Blaine," Kurt said in exasperation, "why is this so important to you? It was just a little peck. Could we please just drop it? I'm embarrassed enough already, and I don't know if you kissed back or not."

Why is this so important to me? Blaine blinked and his gaze turned inward. "I don't know," he said slowly, trying to puzzle out an answer. "I'm being an idiot, aren't I?"

"Just a little," Kurt smiled.

"I guess I felt like you were more upset about it than the situation warranted, so I was wondering if maybe I did something inappropriate in my sleep. I was … well, there's no other word for it … I was snuggled up with you, and I'm not quite sure how that happened."

Kurt shook his head. "You were fine, Blaine. You were a Warbler; you know how movie nights always went. Guys would fall asleep and use each other as pillows. When you nodded off, I pulled you over so you would be more comfortable. Nothing inappropriate happened. You nuzzled me a little, though. It was cute."

"So you weren't upset with me?"

"Of course not. You didn't do anything."

"But you were upset." It wasn't a question this time. "I don't want to pry, but if you want to talk about it, I'm listening."

"It's stupid. A little nothing that happened a few years ago that I should be over by now." Kurt said, turning away and putting some space between them.

Please let me help. "Your words say that it's nothing, but your body language is telling me that it's something, and you clearly aren't over it."

"Blaine, I appreciate the offer, and I'd like to talk about it sometime, but this isn't the time. Maybe Thursday or Friday, after the challenge is over, okay? Now," he said briskly, his whole demeanor changing, "you are going to practice a few times and then we are going to get into character and kill this song. We need to make this special for Paul and Charles."

Why didn't I think of that? If I'm 'in character', I can show him everything I'm feeling, and he'll just think I'm a good actor. "Okay, Sweetheart," Blaine said with a cheeky grin. "What? Just stepping into the role, like you said," he added when Kurt wordlessly raised an eyebrow. He got his guitar and ran through the song. Kurt sang along quietly, rehearsing his part as well, but not breaking Blaine's concentration. After playing the song in its entirety a few times, and then working on just the bridge, Blaine announced that he was ready. He closed his eyes, and breathed in and out slowly, then began to wave his hands up and down in front of his face.

Kurt stared in amazement for a minute, trying in vain to hold back the laughter that was bubbling up. "What on earth are you doing?" he demanded.

Blaine opened his eyes and glared at Kurt. "I'm getting into character. What does it look like?" he huffed.

"Believe me, you don't want to know. Seriously, does that help you get into character?" Kurt asked skeptically.

With a chuckle, Blaine replied, "Of course not. I just wanted to hear you laugh."

Kurt snorted. "You are such a dork!" he said fondly.

Yes, but I'm your dork. "Hey, you know you love me," Blaine pouted. "You said so this morning."

Kurt shook his head, but he was smiling. "Just start playing, Anderson."

Blaine put all his bottled up emotions into the song, singing to Kurt, looking into those gorgeous eyes, moving freely since he wasn't tied to an amplifier, sometimes facing Kurt, sometimes beside him, leaning his head in close to Kurt's, blatantly flirting, enjoying the freedom to express what he was feeling, even if Kurt had no idea what was going on. It was amazing having Kurt sing to him; it almost took his breath away when they sang Lucky we're in love in every way together,faces inches apart, and when Kurt sang the last line of ooohs, it was all he could do not to close the gap and capture the lips puckered so tantalizingly in front of him as if they were begging to be kissed.

After they finished, they stood face to face trying to catch their breaths, lips parted, chests heaving, eyes smoldering, hearts pounding, not from exertion but emotion. "Wow!" Kurt said softly. "That was intense. I've never sung a love song with anyone before, not like that, not as a duet. Blaine, you're a very talented actor. It really felt like you were in love with me."

It's not acting. "I could say the same for you. The song is very easy to relate to."

"It's not just the song, in fact it's not the song at all. The song is light and flirty. Your face, your body language, your eyes …. How do you get your eyes to burn like that? Your pupils were even blown."

So not going there right now. "Wait, what do you mean you've 'never sung a love song with anyone'? How did you manage that?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Look at me, Blaine. What high school choir director in his right mind is going to find it believable that a girl is in love with me, or that it's appropriate for me to sing a love song with another guy? We would have either gotten laughed off the stage or attacked, if there had been a guy brave enough to sing with me in the first place."

Oh, God. I've brought back bad memories for him. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I wasn't thinking," he apologized quickly. "You know, come to think of it, that was my first time, too. I've sung lead on quite a few love songs, but that was always singing to an audience, not doing a duet. I think I told you that I sang my first duet with you."

Kurt frowned. "I still have trouble believing that I was your first duet partner. How can that be? Even I've sung duets before, just not love songs and not in competition."

I'm so glad you were my first. I want you to be my first everything, my only everything. Blaine shrugged. "You know the Warblers; their dynamic is a lead singer and a bunch of backup singers. Even if the lead changes hands, they don't duet. If you think about it, there aren't too many same-sex duets out there, love songs or not."

"That reminds me," Kurt said, "you promised to sing I'll Cover You with me. We probably shouldn't do it tonight because you need to get your set list finalized, but we're definitely going to do it one of these days. Do you want to sing Angel or Collins?"

I could bring up top, bottom or switch again, but I think I'll save it for later. He might get mad, and we've had enough angst for one day. "In my opinion, Angel suits your voice better, but I'm good with either one. It's your present, so you pick, or better yet, let's do it both ways."

"So your choice is 'switch', then?" Kurt asked wickedly.

Did he really say that? "Hey, I'll try anything once. That's the only way to know if you like things."

"I like your attitude, Anderson." He gestured to the guitar. "Are you ready for round 2 yet?"

More innuendo? I don't think that was an accident, either. He's really good at staying in character. "Oh, I think I'm … up … for it, Hummel, if you are." He laughed as Kurt's eyes widened and started the introduction again.


When he got home, the first thing Blaine did was check his e-mail, hoping for a message from Wes. Sure enough, there was a photo of a woman's hand sporting what Blaine assumed was the same lovely ring. He sent a quick reply.

Congratulations, Wes and give Cindy my best wishes! Is it okay to tell Kurt? I'm sure he'd get a kick out of it. ~ B

Then he got comfortable in his favorite chair to Skype with his parents. He told them about his upcoming gig, and how all the designers had gone to the shelter. "They had enough help in the kitchen, so Kurt and I entertained the kids for a while. I told them Elmer the Elf, and you should have seen Kurt get into it," he said warmly. "He was suggesting all sorts of non-Christmas songs, and the kids loved it. It was absolutely brilliant. And when I did Silent Night, he sang it in French. He has a beautiful voice; he's a countertenor and he has a tremendous range." Blaine saw the look his parents exchanged and realized what he'd just done. "He's one of the designers, and we're friends, and he's in my group, so I see him a lot," he explained rapidly, trying to backpedal.

"Blaine, I'm your mother. Don't even try," she teased. She turned to her husband. "See, I told you it was Kurt. You owe me a dollar." They both laughed, and she faced the webcam. "We watched the selection episode again. Your dad thought it was Brenden, but I told him Brenden wasn't your type at all. He's too calculating, and he's too old for you. And don't worry, Sweetie," she added when she saw Blaine's look of dismay, "we won't tell anyone, or even mention it again if you don't want us to. Now, tell us more about this gig. Do you have your set list ready?"


When he got back to the apartment Kurt was ready to work on his blog. He didn't know if he would be allowed to talk about the shelter visit, so he couched his remarks in the most general terms possible, being especially careful to make no mention of the holiday.

I overheard something today that really made me think. Two people in difficult circumstances were talking about how hard it was to hold down a job or even apply for one because they didn't have appropriate clothing. They talked about the need for outfits that didn't require dry cleaning. One of them mentioned a very nice thrift shop that had inexpensive clothing, but it was all designer and even though she could afford to buy it, she couldn't afford the upkeep, so it didn't really do as much good as the donors thought it did. They weren't being mean or ungrateful - just practical. It made me reevaluate my charitable donations. Maybe next time I have designer clothing I no longer need, I'll sell it online to someone who can actually use it and donate the proceeds instead of the clothing.

Just as he finished, Marisol emerged from the bathroom. "I'm going to bed. I'm really tired and I want to be fresh for tomorrow," she said dispiritedly. "Good night, Kurt."

"Are you okay?" he asked gently. "You look a little sad."

"Christmas is hard for me," she replied, making an effort to smile. "I'll be fine. I'll tell you about it some time, but I just want some sleep now, okay?"

"How about a hug?" he offered, holding out his arms. She stepped into his embrace, and he held her and rubbed circles on her back. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you," he murmured into her hair. He continued to hold her until he felt her relax against him.

"Thanks, Kurt. I feel better now," she said softly as she stepped away. "I'll see you in the morning." He turned out all the lights except the one by his bed and went to get a shower.


Blaine had a lot to think about as he lay in bed that night. This was a really good Christmas. I had a sleepover with Kurt, sort of, even though I didn't know it. We spent most of the day together. The designers seemed to have a good time at the shelter, and I know Sister Ailene appreciated the extra help. The meal Amy and Mark made was fantastic, and she's been so much nicer since he came along. I'm glad they're happy. Mark's a nice guy.

He still wasn't sure what to think about the whole Sleeping Beauty incident, although he realized that it was probably best that he hadn't known what was going on at the time. What if I had kissed him back? That would be really hard to explain. But why did he kiss me in the first place? I don't think he even knows the reason. But one day ... He smiled to himself as he dreamed about a time when he would be able to do everything he couldn't do now. Singing the duet was fun, and being 'in character' took all the pressure off so I could enjoy it. I hope he tells me what was bothering him, though. His last thoughts before sleep took him were of spending New Year's Eve with Kurt.


While Kurt got ready for bed, he tried to sort out his feelings. I could have ruined everything today, kissing Blaine like that. I'm just lucky he's so easy going. Most guys would have gotten upset. Most people would have gotten upset. Did he kiss me back? Kurt thought about the kiss, remembering the way he had gently pressed his mouth to Blaine's, remembering the feel of Blaine's lips, soft and warm under his own. Did he respond? I think maybe he did, just a little. Or maybe I'm just making it all up in my head. I'm not going to say anything, since I'm not sure. Anyway, if he did respond, he would have been responding to the person he was dreaming about, not to me. With any luck, he'll just forget the whole thing.

As he crawled under the covers and turned out the lamp, he remembered something his dad frequently said. 'When you make a mistake, apologize sincerely, do your best to make amends, learn from it, forgive yourself, and move on.' I'm not sure how to make amends, but maybe it isn't necessary since he didn't seem to be offended. What can I learn from this? First of all, stop doing everything Jen tells me to. That girl is evil! That's twice she's gotten me to kiss Blaine. Why would she keep doing that? Does she have a crush on him? She doesn't act like it. Maybe she just likes messing with people. And since when do I do things just because people tell me to, anyway? I've always been stronger than that. I can't blame Jen for my mistakes.

He rolled over onto his side, his preferred position for sleeping, and wrapped his arms around the extra pillow. Maybe one day it won't be a pillow I'm snuggling with. Thanks to Blaine and his consummate ability to stay in character, I know exactly what it would feel like to be in love with someone and have him love me back. The subsequent renditions of Lucky had been toned down somewhat compared to the first, but there had still been quite a bit of affectionate flirting from Blaine, and Kurt had felt free to reciprocate. He had expected Blaine to drop out of character between run-throughs, but he hadn't. I can see how actors sometimes left their spouses for their on-screen love interests. If we acted like that day after day, I'd find it easy to start believing it was real. He snuggled down under the covers and drifted off to sleep.