Episode 37: Men with big swords

Season 2 finale

Dragoritus- Jesus christ... Holy fuck... shiiiit.

Deadpool- Readers, I present to you Dragoritus, Post-Berserk anime movies.

Dragoritus- Fucking fuck man...

Deadpool- Let's just allow him to regather his thoughts...

Dragoritus- What the fuck man...

Deadpool- ... We might need to skip to the actual episode...

Dragoritus- Fuck...

Deadpool- Oh I've waiting to do this (clears throat) NOW ON WITH THE (gets hit by a shovel)

Dragoritus- Nope we're talking about this shit!

Deadpool- ... Ow!

Dragoritus- Jesus fucking christ... So yeah... I just recently watched the Berserk anime movies and while I am thrown off by the poor use of cgi bits and pieces I am glad that the anime is bloody, brutal, sexy in a rather strange way and certainly badass. I've always heard about Berserk but now... I understand it. Guts is a whole different level of badass. Fuck Griffith's pretty boy looking ass.

Deadpool- Holy shit...

Dragoritus- I do intend to watch the dub version of all the anime media, the original 90's, and the ugh disgusting looking 2016, so what can I say that will convince you that Berserk is badass? Well for starters the main character actually fucks the love of his life, Yeah who'd know an anime made in the 2010's that isn't hentai would actually have some sex in it? Nowadays age appropriate characters are so scared to fuck they either get killed before hand or they have a harem in which no one is getting fucked.

Granted not all harems are bad, Highschool dxd is an example, even though I do not like the idea of Rias sharing, however I'm more inclined to enjoy a anime that decides, only a romantic and passionate couple not a triangle 1v1.

Now Guts and Casca is that couple, fuck the anime isn't scared to show off tits, Casca's ass, Gut's muscular ass, fucking Griffith's dick of all thing's is shown and a very dark and unpleasant scene which feels for Casca. And though they didn't go far enough to be full on porno levels of fucking which is kinda disappointing. I mean you've already gone and showed us a pretty boy's dick, and casca's period blood and crouch hair, Gut's god damn muscular ass, you might as well show more.

Deadpool- Dude... that's nasty.

Dragoritus- Says the man whose head looks like my ball sack and is willing to fuck a skeleton, whose boy toy is a purple raisin also your movie had you have a sucker in your ass for your girlfriend to suck on.

Deadpool- That's uncalled for you dickhead.

Dragoritus- Yeah you're the nasty one now motherfucker. Anyway... I am pleased enough that Berserk is not like today's anime, it's brutal, it's gory, it's borderline pornographic, it's has sex, it has religious fanatics, it has demons, it has a motherfucking skull knight! Do I need to say more?!

War- That warrior has an impressive blade...

Deadpool- Hehehe that's what she said!

Dragoritus- Oh yeah... Gut's Dragon slayer sword is pretty fucking big, almost as big as your's War.

War (Nods once)

Dragoritus- But god damn... I've clearly missed out on some shit. And I also finished watching the 2016 anime... hey at least it's not a horrible place to leave a cliffhanger. But jokes aside... yeah... while the cg in the movies are... off putting the cg in the show is down right laughable, and I've heard that it's season 2 was slightly better but that's not saying much when compared to garbage.

Hell even Hellsing ultimate is extremely tamed when compared to Berserk... shockingly.

Deadpool- So is the story worth it?

Dragoritus- Oh hell yeah it is, showing the rise and fall of the Band of the hawks or Falcon... Falcon sounds dumb though, unless it's Falcon punch then you've done it right. Any who... the last movie showcasing Pretty Boy's betrayal and the massacre of the band of Hawkes, is dark enough... but no Berserk grabs you by the balls and says "You will watch this!"

Fucking Casca getting rapped by Griffith, Guts stabbing his left arm off to stop him, getting his right eye stabbed and blinded, this was DARKER than I had thought... and I love it. Today everything animated is too bright and shiny and leaves me without good animation that is dark, and never have I seen an animated... anything this dark. The Spawn tv show... has nothing compared to Berserk.

The new castlevania series? Nope.

Deadpool- The fuck...

Dragoritus- Yeah...

Death- That is... most disturbing.

Dragoritus- I know...

Kratos- That's... worse than my entire franchise... and I fucked my half sister whose goddess of love.

Dragoritus- Yeah... incest is bad but it's not as dark as this. Also since I've been lacking in ideas, this episode will be the season 2 finale, and the series will be on hiatus until I've gotten some inspiration and ideas. but until then... ENJOY THE MOTHERFUCKING SHOW!

IN THE LEGENDARY BAR OF BADASSES!

Death was seen cleaning the counters with baby Ashley strapped to his chest while Kratos and Asura were arm wrestling with Asura slamming Kratos' arm onto the table while Kratos groaned before placing dollar bills on the table.

Asura smirked before looking at Death and saw how he and baby Ashley gave a equally serious glare and whispered "She's certainly Death's daughter..."

Kratos turned his gaze towards Death and Ashley and witnessed Death adjust Ashley's position and said "Scary thought of Death having kids."

The bar doors opened as Alice, Raven, Jinx and Sam all walked in as Sam asked "Dad, Alma has finished..."

Then the air became cold as a woman in a long red dress with raven black hair that draped over her face with yellow eyes that gleamed with rage and pain while the teen stood aside for her without a word.

Death filled a glass and slid it towards the woman who caught the glass which force from her palm while Death said "Thanks Alma, for fixing Alice's mess for me now I'll tell you where Becket is."

(Alma Wade- cruelty, pain, rage, manipulative, destructive, hateful, tragic, powerful, one hell of a mind fuck, all of which can describe Alma Wade in the most basic of explanations. This woman has a very tragic backstory, born with psychic powers, stated to have no chance at a normal life, raised in most of her life in captivity by her own abusive father. Was possibly rapped by scientists and her own father, it's vague on that as far as I know, to create the Point Man her first son, and once again for her second Paxton Fettle.

Was killed and left to rot, but yet, even hatred cannot be subdued by being buried in countless pounds of steal, Alma's body may have died but her psychic powers were far more powerful than expected. Allowing Alma to be in her own dimension to walk through, Alma would return and would be titled; the Mother of the Apocalypse, the most badass and metal title a mom can have.

She doesn't need to get physical, but if by chance her attention is directed towards you... you won't get out sane.

She orchestrated FEAR 2's story, with Michael Becket being enhanced and being observed by Alma who kept him alive during his treatment, used one of Becket's allies as a distraction while she violently rapes and makes a baby with Becket.

She's like and lesser extreme Yuno Gasai, cause from my understanding there's two timelines in FEAR one where Alma never meets Becket the other where she's obsessed with him and has his baby.)

Alma stared silently at Death and raised the glass before dropping it as Death and Ashley stared unassumingly as Death asked "Seriously?"

Alma remained silent as Death sighed and stated "Becket's in the bathroom."

Alma slowly walked towards the men's restroom, Kratos and Asura could only stare in shock as the sounds of a man's screaming in terror before Alma walked out of the restroom with a smirk on her face while dragging Becket by the ankle who was knockout.

Sam stared before walking over to the jukebox and played a song "One or another, I'm gonna find ya, I'm gonna, getchya, getchya, getchya!"

Alma silently bounced her head to the song as she walked out of the bar and out of sight as Kratos said "Creepy woman..."

War walked in and sat down as Sam said "Hey uncle War."

War nodded as Raven asked "So... how's aunt Uriel?"

War answered while Death handed him a drink "She's fine."

Jinx asked with a smirk "So how's the baby making going?"

War stared with an unamused stare as Alice asked "Is she still mad at me?"

War shrugged and asked "Why would she be mad at you?"

Alice shrugged while Death asked "Ok girls stop pestering War, or your all grounded."

The girls became silent as baby Ashley began to have baby laughter as Death looked down at her and said "That includes you too."

Baby Ashley began to frown as the door opened up as a man with short spiky black hair with a large sword that could possibly rival War's Chaoseater, the man's left hand was mechanical as Death saw and asked "Oh a new guy? What can I get you?"

The man walked over beside War and sat down next to him while War took a sip from a glass of alcohol, the man then stated "Mead."

Death raised a brow and said "Simple but effective... coming right up."

Death poured a glass of mead for the man whose right eye remain closed as he and War sat silently next together while Sam whispered "Hey you guys noticed the similarities?"

The girls stared at War and the man as War and the man's large swords where strapped in the same way, on their backs reaching their right shoulders, War and the man's left hand were prosthetic and metal in design.

But most ironically they're currently being silent as Death asked "So what's your name stranger?"

The man then groaned as War ignored him until the man answered "Guts."

Kratos spat out his drink Asura had yelled in disgust, War eyed Guts mildly intrigued as Death turned towards his daughters and handed Ashley to Raven and said "Girls take Ashley and find your mother."

Guts kept a frown as the girls left without a word as Death turned towards Guts and said "So your the new swordsmen in town, your legends precede you, Black Swordsman."

(Guts- Don't fuck with this man.)

Guts took another sip from his glass and stated "I'm looking for someone, a warrior with flowing white hair and blue eyes."

War turne this head slightly exposing some of his hair as Guts noticed from his left eye, Death then stated "Which one? The Demon hunter Dante his brother Vergil? Or my brother War."

Guts took another sip of his glass and said "Funny I was told there was only one white hair warrior here, and the only warrior I know of that that that description, was my best friend."

War groaned as Guts noticed and pulled down War's hood as Death stood by while War turned his gaze towards Guts who stared into his eyes and said "Griffith."

War smacked Gut's metallic hand off him and pulled his hood up and said "No, I am War."

Guts stood up and placed his hand on the hilt of his sword and said "Don't try to trick me Griffith."

War stood up standing much taller than Guts as Death shouted "NO! NOT IN HERE YOU ARE NOT!"

Death grabbed and dragged both Guts and War and threw them onto the street and said "FIGHT OUT HERE!"

Death walked back in and sighed as Kratos and Asura stared while Death eyed them and asked "You guys wanna watch the fight?"

The men nodded and all three walked out as they saw War and Guts standing chest to chest, War looking down with a serious frown, as Guts looked up with a equally serious frown.

The two men were obviously sizing each other up, as Guts said "If you're not Guts then prove it, fight me."

War responded bluntly "Gladly."

The two men back away from each other while keeping their intense stares as war pulled out Chaoseater and Guts pulled out Dragon slayer, the two swordsmen took stance and silently circled each other. Guts held his sword back, as War held his sword in front, the two stopped circling each other as Guts yelled and charged at War and swung his bald while War used his left hand as a shield causing the attack to spark as War quickly stabbed at Guts.

Guts quickly swung his blade clashing with War's as the two began to repeatedly clash their blades as until the two leaped at each other and slashed at each other War landed with his back turned towards Gut with a a new cut on his chin. Guts landing the same way had a cut on his chin the two stood up and turned towards each other, as War charged at Gut and slammed his bald at him.

Gut jumped dodging the attack and landed on the the blade of War's sword and attempted to stabbed War in the face but War quickly used his left hand to redirect the attack causing sparks to fly off his hand while the two kept frowns and serious stares at each other. War quickly grabbed the blade of Gut's sword and forced it out of Gut's grip as swung it at Guts who jumped away out of War's reach.

War stood up wielding both large swords in each hands as his face shadowed under his hood while his blue glowing eyes were the only distinguished features while Guts scowled at War who eyed both blades before tossing the blade in front of Guts and said "Try not to get disarmed."

Guts picked up his blade and charged at War who charged before the two clashed blades as both blades began to glow an aura, Dragon slayer had a red aura as did Chaoseater however the blade itself began to bleed blood as Guts noticed and grunted in shock.

War now seeing the power of Dragon slayer stated "Your blade has tasted Demon blood, but it has yet to tasted enough to where the blade bleeds it."

Guts grunted as War's Chaoseater began to crack Dragon slayer, War then stated "You have fought bravely and power that could rival me, but your blade is not strong enough yet."

War's blades broke through Gut's as War slashed Gut's chest diagonally, Guts grunted before coughing up blood and staggered at the large slammed across his chest looked back at War who sheathed his blade and said "I am War, not Griffith, our duel was enjoyable, despite the lack of your sword's power."

Guts fell back first as the Dragon slayer reformed while War turned dot see Kratos with a medallion glowed green as war picked up the blade and rested it on Gut's chest and War said "You will return for another fight, and I will be waiting for that."

Dragoritus- Thank you all readers for reading The Bar of badasses! I am placing this story on hiatus for now, as there is stories that demand my attention and, I require more inspiration and ideas to make. Hope to "see" you all soon!

Deadpool- God damnit Dragoritus!

Dragoritus- I'll miss you... eventually.

Deadpool- Oh that hurts, you know that's really hurst dude!