Ava was rounding the corner of the clinic to surprise Diane and hopefully steal her away for a quick lunch. Although the psychiatrist had been officially all moved in for the past month and had been staying in their new home for two it seemed as if they were seeing even less of each other since their once a week visits. Ava was working diligently on the Beacon's expansion out of the Midwest into the East Coast. First Olivia gave her the task of crunching the numbers to see if the franchise was even feasible. It had taken her many long hours bent over her tablet and countless more submitting a budget that her mother would actually take seriously. The Beacon was more than just another version of a hotel chain to the eldest Spencer. It was the only project that she'd nurtured from its infancy. No one could say that she stole, conned, or married for her position. Yet even that did not tell the true story of the company's meaning. It was true that Natalia deserved credit for encouraging to make peace with herself and her life but the Latina would never been given a chance if Olivia had not already been headed towards that path. After the birth of her youngest child Olivia started to consider where her life was leading. She wasn't a saint and did not even aspire to be the ideal citizen but Olivia did want Emma to be proud of her mother for more than an knack for finding sources of alimony. Ava had never heard her mother say those exact words but both women knew it to be true. So Ava was focused and career oriented almost to the point of obsession and had micromanaged every second of her day for three months that did not include or pertain to Max.
She would have felt like the worst fiancée ever except Diane was just as dedicated to her own career. Not only was Diane rebuilding a highly distinguished practice in Springfield but she was also determined to make it as socially conscious as Diane had only dreamed possible. She was on the chair of the local women's and children's shelter and was treating patients once a week at a drug halfway house. After she finished her residency in one of Chicago's many inner city charity hospitals Diane had intended and even been offered a position but her previous boyfriend and family found the very idea both embarrassing and contemptible. They often hinted that if Diane could not be a real doctor she should at least have a thriving practice. Stephen and his family wanted her to dispense medication to country club housewives in between their society events. It had taken Diane a few years to get them to grudgingly accept her decision to work at the Bassett Hospital. The patients there were was only upper middle class. She would never get rich there, never mind her family had been wealthy for hundreds of years, but they could now speak of her to their friends without imploring abject sympathy. Now each day Diane came home from work she was exhausted but never weary. Diane was making a difference and now she had a family that fully supported her calling to heal.
A relationship with two such personalities driven by such passions was bound to be tumultuous but both Ava and Diane were determined to make it work. Today was the start of a long weekend and Ava wanted to make sure that Diane was clearing her schedule. She called ahead to a close Italian restaurant and was bringing Diane's favorites up. The pasta, chicken, and slices of Italian pound cake were in a wooden basket along with a bottle of sparkling red grape juice. Merlot was their beverage of choice but it would be another four hours before either could get home to enjoy its soothing effects. As Ava walked out of the elevator she spotted a very tall and beautiful woman in a white lab coat standing in front of her lover's office door. The woman stood at least two inches taller than Diane and had dark brooding features. At first glance Ava could honestly describe the woman as strikingly beautiful and took a moment to admire when heart slammed shut. The woman, maybe thirty-five but no more than forty, was leaning against Diane's door playing with a stethoscope around her neck. Her head was thrown back and Ava could see just a hint of cleavage even from a few feet away. That the woman was flirting with her fiancée was bad but the fact that Diane was standing a few inches from her laughing right back just was unbearable. Ava's first thoughts were to stalk straight over there and slap the conniving bitch silly but she held back, turned away and forced herself to take a few deep breathes. Ava had promised and she would die before she hurt Diane like that again.
"Diane?" Ava asked as she tried to keep the sun from shinning into her eyes. The bedroom was empty and only her clothes were still on the living room floor. Looking around Ava noted that all of the floors were swept and mopped clean and the condo was ready for its new tenant. The pair had done nothing except clean, laugh, and make for three days before returning back to their shared Springfield home. It was a weekend of celebration. The end of Diane residing two hours away and the official beginning of their life together. All the barriers and restraints were gone and Ava couldn't be more anxious and excited. Now Ava would never again fall asleep or go to bed alone. "Diane?" she called out again as she walked and heard her voice bouncing around the empty rooms and off of the bare walls. As Ava pulled on her jeans and undershirt she heard what sounded like Diane speaking in the hallway. When she looked through the peephole and saw a college aged redhead smiling and Ava was only mildly curious. But when she saw Diane touch the side of the girl's face Ava's vision was swallowed in red. There was no way that they had made their relationship last over hundreds of miles apart and hundreds of adversities just to let some barely legal tramp wreck them. If there had been a gun within reach there would not have been any discussion. "Diane. I've been looking all over for you." Ava said as she yanked open the door, stepped beside her fiancée, and fixed the younger woman with a thinly disguised scowl. "Where have you been sweetheart?"
Diane immediately moved to take Ava in her arms and squeezed her love tight. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you. I just wanted to drop off some of the recycling and get us something for breakfast." As she moved away she brought a bakery bag into view and laughed. "Teresa here was getting on me again for my addiction to carbs."
"Teresa?" Ava asked pretending to ponder who the intruder but was already remembering that this was one of the neighbors that Diane had previously told her about. Diane mentioned the girl because she said one of the things she would miss was a dietitican available for house calls. Diane put absolute faith in the student's ability because she had witnessed the amazing transformation from a obese teenager to a lithe young woman over the years through diet and exercise. According to Diane the weight had stayed off for well over five years but Ava knew once a fat chick always a fat chick and was determined put the crushing youngster in her place fast. After absently nodding at their ramblings Ava said as conversationally as possible "You know I would never have guessed that you used to be overweight." Immediately the girl's face fell and she stepped back in shock. Ava didn't look back but could feel the tension in her lover's body although the arm draped across her waist never dropped. After that Teresa surprisingly had very little to say and excused herself to a door down the hall. Diane tried her best to pretend that the statement had never been spoke but Ava could tell that the psychiatrist was well and truly pissed but that was okay because she would learn that Ava was too.
Diane walked a few feet inside turned around and dropped the bag at her feet without looking down. Her arms were crossed at the shoulders and all traces of their earlier joyfulness were gone when she plainly asked "What was that?"
"That was me putting that bitch in her place." Ava responded in a huff.
"What are you talking about?"
Ava noticed that Diane was using that psych tone that she hated so much but at that time there were much more important things to tackel. "I'm talking about that bitch laughing and smiling in your face when she knows that you're engaged."
"No that's not what I'm talking about. What gives you the right to use something I told you in confidence just to" Diane calmly stated before Ava cut her off.
"If you think that I'm just going to stand by and let that tramp just."
"She's not a tramp and she's not a bitch and you will not call her either of those things again."
"I'll call that whore anything I want!" Ava said in perfect opposition to Diane's previous softly spoken words and was prepared to say a whole lot more before Diane shook her head and started to walk away. "No. No way. You do not walk away from me when we're having a discussion."
"We are not having a discussion. I was trying to talk and you were making loud crass comments but I refuse to get into this now if this is how you're going to behave."
"You were flirting with her. You were touching her fucking face" Ava screamed.
Diane again started to walk away before Ava yanked her wrist and pushed her onto the wall. "Stop" she said and tried to push off but Ava's weight was pressed against her chest and her arms were tucked between her back and the wall. "I said stop it."
But by that time Ava was beyond reason. "You love me. You belong with me and I won't ever let you go." If Diane did not want to talk fine but Ava was not letting her walk away.
"Ava!" Diane tried to say until Ava pulled down her face and pushed her mouth hard against Diane's.
As the kiss intensified Diane felt Ava yank at her buttoned up cargo shorts. She tried to squirm away and was eventually able to break the kiss but Ava just started concentrating on getting Diane as naked as possible. Her pants were pushed down just a bit past her waist and one of Ava's hand was cupping her building mositure while the other roughly kneeded her ass. "She won't get to touch you like this and she won't get to see you break apart when I make you cum." Ava moaned in her ear. The younger woman's chest was angled so that her upper body was so pressed against Diane that the other woman's breathing was almost uncomfortable while Ava's hands were free to plunder at will. "You love what I do to you."
"Please stop" Diane repeated but this time in a winded whisper. After hearing the words the mouth that knawed on her shoulder stilled and the thigh that was pressed against Diane's increasing moisture stopped grinding. Diane looked down its to Ava's tearfilled eyes and felt the woman push away to run into the bedroom.
It was midday before Diane heard Ava's foot steps on the bare wooden floors. The bagels and locks had been retrieved from the floor and were refrigerating in the kitchen. Her head hurt and her neck was stiff but Diane knew that something like this could not stay silent between them. She walked back into the bedroom to finally shower and change clothes and felt less tense when she spotted a plate of bacon, eggs, and toasted bagles on plate beside a bottle of orange juice. Ava was standing against a counter on the other side of the room with her head bowed and her hands shook.
"Thank's this looks really good." Diane said softly. She had to force the words past her closing throat but knew that it had to be done.
"I'm sorry"
"Why did you do it?"
"I" Ava repeated several times before stopping and wiping her eyes.
"How could you actually believe that I would get up from the bed that we spent all weekend making love in and making plans about our life and family only to try and seduce a twenty year old girl?"
"I saw you."
"So she has a crush on me"
"I don't care about her I saw You. You were smiling at her and stroking her fucking face!"
"I was looking at her earrings! Earrings that look exactly like a pair I bought as I was picking up those extra boxes yesterday. If you don't believe me you can look in the box in my purse and compare them for yourself."
"I" Ava repeated again.
"How could you think that I would throw away everything we have for anyone or anything?" Pulling the woman into her arms Diane promised "I would die for you don't you know that by now?"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just" Ava said as tears spilt down her face and onto Diane's shoulder.
"It doesn't matter just know that I would never hurt you like that." Diane said and then vowed "Never" before pushing Ava down on the island as she undressed them both.
So when Ava saw the woman openly flirting with her fiancee she went against her first instincts of causing an embarrassing and humiliating scene a few feet away from the patient waiting room. The possibility of ruining her lover's career would have not even entered the old Ava's mind as she put that bitch in her place. It still wasn't that huge of a concern but Ava could not bare the thought of seeing the light in Diane eyes'
broken and pained again because of her. The image of Diane wondering aloud why the people that should have loved and protected always failed her with tears streaming down her face still haunted Ava. She had taken sacred vows that Diane would never wonder that about her again. Instead of saying something sarcastic and cutting when Diane introduced them Ava tried her best to keep the anger from bleeding through her smile or voice. She even agreed to a night of drinks at a local lounge without gagging from disgust. There was no way in hell that Ava was going to let that tramp anywhere near Diane outside of work if she had anything to say about it.
She tried to put the doubtful voices at bay throughout the lunch and assured Diane that everything was okay. At home during dinner Ava was a bit slow and out of tune with the conversation. Diane kept trying to get her to open up but was scared of enlisting her professional skills for fear of Ava unleashing the unspoken tension her way. When Ava asked her three times what movie they were watching as they sat on the sofa playing with Max Diane decided that regardless of the reaction she needed to know what was bothering her love. Last night she'd bathed Max so tonight it was Ava's turn but Diane thought the upcoming conversation required special handling. Before she took the laughing boy up the stairs Diane turned off the DVD of The Fighter and put on a Josh Grobin CD. When Diane warmed up Max's last bottle she also a glass of Ava's favorite wine and cut up some fruit and spooned out some yogurt and placed it before her housemate on the living room table before starting her parenting tasks. Max was asleep and Ava looked as if she was less on edge when Diane sat beside her and softly asked "What's going on?" She didn't want to come on strong and pressure but Ava needed to know that she was determined to figure this puzzle out.
"Nothing" Ava immediately responded before she poured Diane's wine and held out a fresh strawberry.
"I'm not going to force you to talk but baby we both know that that's not true." Diane said as she leaned over to kiss Ava's head and repositioned them until she was holding Ava's head below her shoulder blade and Ava's limbs wrapped around her form. They lay in silence for several moments with both moving to feed or provide wine to the other. "I just want you to know that I love you and that could never change." She felt Ava's body tense for a second before Diane kissed her forehead and ran her fingers through the short brown tresses and the stiffness eases away. At first Diane was sure it wouldn't work and that Ava would fall asleep before opening up then she heard the soft strains of the beloved voice.
"I just wonder sometimes what you see in me"
"What do you mean?" Diane asked as she pulled away in genuine shock. Ava was many things but insecure wasn't one of them. "Why wouldn't anyone want you?"
"I'm not talking about anyone I'm talking about you."
"Um maybe because you're smart, funny, warm, caring, independent an awesome lover" Diane laughed. "Need I go on?" and felt Ava sharply pull away.
Ava spat out "I'm serious."
Diane pulled her back down in instinctual response and said "So am I." and rolled so that she was now on top and held Ava's head in her hands. "I have never met anyone that shared so much of themselves and their life with me as you do. You've allowed me to become a parent to your only son. You are always challenging me to be a better person. You welcomed me into her family when my own kicked me out. What's not to love Ava?"
Ava tried to avert her head but when that did not work she lowered her eyes and let out a weak sigh. "I just wonder if someone else might be a better match for you. I have so much baggage and"
"So you have a complicated past. Who doesn't?"
"You could have someone that your family respects. Someone that can relate to your work. Someone that you didn't treat at a psychiatric clinic."
"Tell me the truth. What's going on? Why are these thing bothering you now all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong?"
"No. No I just love you too much to" Ava said before Diane sat up and started pacing up and down the room.
"To what? To marry me? To live with me?" Diane hissed as she walked and then turned to kneel in front of her. "I want to know what the hell is going on and I want to know right now. I love you and I know you love me so if you think I'm going to let you destroy the best thing that has ever happened to either of us you are sadly mistaken." But what could Ava tell the psychiatrist. That as she spied on her lover in the hall of the clinic she could easily picture the two doctors in love. While they ate the lunch Ava could plainly see all that the things that the psychologist could offer to her fiancée. If the two were dating Diane would have never lost her family. She would never have to deal with Ava and Remy being forever tied to each other because of Max. Diane had turned down at least ten jobs that Ava knew about because she didn't want to uproot the younger woman from Springfield. Other than their love how had Ava positively influenced Diane's life? "Please just trust me Ava. Please"
"Today when I watched you and Cara I just saw how much simpler your life could be together. "
"Nothing could be simpler than doing exactly what my parents wanted how they wanted but that didn't make me happy. You do. Max does. I don't care about simple. I care about spending the rest of my life with with the two of you."
As she heard the soulful words Ava's silent tears began to constrict and burn her throat and she pulled Diane down to hide her face in the other woman's shoulder. "I just felt so stupid and ugly compaired to her. When I saw her laughing with you and leaning towards you I just wanted to slap and and push her far away. But then I wondered if you liked it. If you want someone that understood your jokes and wouldn't embarrass you at hospital functions."
"You are the vice president of operations at a multimillion dollar hotel"
"my mom's"
"Stop interrupting me." Diane warned. "You are the reason that the Beacon's expansion is going so well but even if that weren't true and you were head frie cook at McDonald's I would love you just as much. You own my heart and there isn't another person in the world that can take your place. Please don't doubt that." It took an hour both women were finished sheding tears and after a beat of calm Diane inquired what brought out Ava's insecurities.
"I don't know why but I always feel like your family and friends feel like you started slumming when you started dating me."
"If they actually loved me they would be happy because I'm happy but it doesn't matter what anyone thinks but us."
