Cross Roads & Building Blocks
Chapter 56
"Babe," Ranger was standing in parking lot of 'Boone's Go-Go Machines' staring at the party bus. "I haven't ridden a school bus since high school."
We were gawking at a white mini-bus decorated with neon blue and green stripes with high backed reclining crushed velour navy seats and the horn that sounded like the William Tell Overture. It was equipped with a high-powered stereo system and DVD player. The bumper sticker on the back made me laugh. It fit this craziness. 'Come to the dark side, we have cookies'.
"It will give a smooth ride and with quick touch door opener, everybody can discharge easily and safely," Boone demonstrated. I loved his Mohawk cut and pierced eyebrow.
"Your Grandma and her cohorts get out of line, theyre gone. Just slow down some, Babe, when you hit that quick release," Ranger's head shook as it hung.
Julie was inside checking out everything. Poking her head out the door, "These seats are so cushy, Dad. I wish my school used something like this for our class trips."
"Julie, only the best."
Boone handed me a set of extra keys and the paperwork.
"I'll return this Sunday morning," I said as I got behind the wheel. Ranger and Sophia were following the bus home. Julie was riding with me.
The whole way back to the limestone row house, I could see Ranger shaking his head and laughing. He was being a good sport about this and we still had the poetry reading tonight. Julie couldn't resist sounding the horn announcing our arrival as I parked next door at Elsie and Bessie's. All six of the senior boppers were outside cheering and scampered on to check out the party bus. They even picked out their seats.
"Ain't this a pip?" Grandma nudged Ranger. I noticed they had on the poetry group t-shirts. "I got to finish getting ready for my big night. I bet you can't wait, huh, because this is your first time?"
His eyebrow up peering down at my Grandma, "I'm trying to contain myself, Grandma."
"This is going to beyond anything you could imagine. Come with an open mind and feel the poetry of the night."
"Can't wait," walking up on the porch and into the house.
Ranger was struggling with his control, fighting it so he didn't laugh in Grandmas face. Walking in the backdoor, he was holding onto the island bent over laughing. "Babe, words can't even describe it."
I kissed his cheek, "Thank you. This means so much to Grandma tonight."
He gave his own version of an eye roll, but his features soften, "When I wasn't there and you needed someone in your corner for support, Stephanie, your Grandma has always been there in her own strange Hungarian way and I'm grateful, but should I have the Merry Men on stand-by in case were run out of town?"
Grandma came in the door, "I heard that. I invited Bobby, Lester, and Tank. The big guy got plans with Lula he couldn't get out of, but the other two are coming."
That bit of information sobered Ranger up real fast. "Oh God!"
We all dressed up for Grandma's big night. Julie only packed shorts, tanks, and a pair of jeans for her weekend with us. While we were in the company store, she spotted a pale yellow tank dress from 'The Good Mother Earth' with orange and pink flowers embroidered around the neckline. Ranger bought it for her to wear. She was so cute twirling around the living room with Sophia. Ranger was looking Cuban yummy wearing khaki pants and white shirt with rolled up sleeves. Here in Reading, he didn't stick to his all black wardrobe. He wore it in Trenton with the newer, softer, painted-on Rangeman t-shirts made by the company and Ella embroidered on the logo. Dressed in a little pink dress, puffy sleeves, and matching lacy panties by her Daddy, Sophia was our perfect little princess. I caught the dark eyes starting at my head and scanning down the retro inspired big flowered strapless dress I bought on a whim. It was mid-calf length and I had on big hoop earrings and slip-on wedge sandals in red.
"Babe, you look gorgeous," walking over to meet me at the bottom of the stairs.
Before I knew it, Ranger dipped me over and was kissing me rather ferociously. He was in a playful mood and I think it was going to be another late night. If I still had tonsils, they would have been sucked out and reattached in his throat.
"Wooh! Wooh! Go for it, Dad!," Julie teased.
"That's the way a kiss is done," recognizing Grandma's voice with her band of merry makers watching us.
Sophia added her two cents, "Pllllllffffffff!"
He chuckled as he brought me upright. "You're a smartie pants," poking Sophia's little tummy before taking her from her big sister. "Let's get this show on the road."
Pointing to her 'Reading Poetry Group' T-shirt and white capris, Grandma enlightened us, "This isn't my new outfit. It's at Hunter's place. I'll change there. It's hot."
"Don't keep me waiting, Edna," Charlie squeezed her.
Putting her hand up to deflect her voice like no one wouldn't hear whispering to me, "I might get some. I like that dress, Stephanie, maybe I should have bought something sexy like that," touching the big beaded red necklace around my neck and pinching my dress. "Red is a turn-on color."
"Thanks, Grandma." Ranger didn't need red to turn him on. He was always fired up.
"Only for you, Babe."
I need to watch what I say out loud.
Walking out on the back porch locking the door and retrieving the baby mover were Bobby and Lester perusing around the rental bus next door, both smiling like idiots.
"Ignore them," Ranger said under his breath.
Lester asked, "What's this for?"
Grandma spoke up, "Our trip tomorrow to a cave and a train ride. We're showing Julie some of the sites."
"It's a cool ride. I love the horn!" Julie told them explaining about the "Overture".
"Babe, since when did they become travel agents?"
I smacked his arm, "Grab an end," carrying the stroller off the porch.
Both Merry Men started sniffing and giving puppy dog eyes.
"Ignore them," Ranger kept repeating walking past his friends and waiting for me with the stroller at the end of the driveway.
Bobby made his voice sound like a little boys, "We're not doing nuttin'. Tank has plans with Lula."
"We'll be all awone,"Lester whined.
"It seats 15 so we got room," Grandma informed them.
Ranger stared at me, then them.
I caved, "Sure, you can come."
"Yeah! We're going by-bys," Lester and Bobby cheered jumping in the air and doing a high five.
Their boss was shaking his head, his lips parted, but he refrained the "Why me?"
Santos asked, "Can we crash here tonight, too? We didn't want to drive back to Trenton anyhow."
Ranger about had it and the poetry hadn't begun yet, "Does it look like we're running a boarding house? Amado will be here later, so that leaves the sofa, comfy chair, or the floor."
"I may get some tonight," pinching Charlie's flat old man ass. "I can sleep next-door, too. I'll let you two share my bed, but no farting in it."
At that perfect moment, Sophie added sound effects letting out a big, "Plllllllllllffffffffffffff!" She looked up at Ranger with that grin so proud of herself. "Eeeeeeeh!"
Ranger had to stop to catch his breath. I've never known him to laugh so much, but Daddy's girl can do it to him. He was nose to nose with her, "You make Daddy's day."
"Gimme A Break' was about half full when we walked in from The Square. There were guys installing speakers outside for anyone sitting at the sidewalk tables and milling about. In the front off from the small stage were two tables with signs reading 'EDNA' in big black letter.
"You'll be able to hear everything here," Grandma elbowed Ranger. "I have to change and put on my stage make-up."
Elsie and Bessie followed, "We'll help you, Edna."
Charlie, Spud, and Pete were tying aprons around their waists, "My extra help," Hunter indicated to the three men rolling a wooden baby chair to our table. "How about I put this in the store room?" indicating the stroller so it wasn't in the way of the crowd.
"OK." I had the seat cover to put in the baby chair for Sophia. I knew the high chair it was clean, but this would also give her some additional support in it.
Ranger pointed to both tables, "One check," taking a couple of the homemade potato chips he liked here at the cafe.
"Will do. Any drinks right now?"
Bobby and Lester were having Coke, Julie a chocolate milkshake, and Ranger and I iced teas. Sophia was using her sippy cup with two hands.
"When the food arrives, could you heat this for a few seconds, Hunter?" pulling out of the diaper bag, I had a lidded bowl with rice cereal in for Sophia.
"Anything for my favorite little girl." Sophia liked that idea and gave our friend a big, cheeky grin.
Julie was looking around the coffee shop, "This is cool. We can see everything. I read your Grandma's poems again so I was up-to-date in her story. She showed me pictures of the net. I think it's great, Dad, you provide these training exercises for Grandma and her friends to keep them sharp."
Ranger gave me an exaggerated look, "It keeps my men on their toes."
Half-way through our dinners of Cheese steak hoagies and chicken wraps there was a flurry of activity outside the door. The poetry reading would be starting in 30 minutes. We could hear, "Oprah!" Two very large men bigger than Tank, but not nearly as good looking as all the Rangemen cleared a path. Stepping between them, The Queen of Talk Shows and her best friend, Gayle.
Grandma really did it.
Hunter rushed over along with Jasper Oh, the president of the Reading Poetry Group. He was a retired instructor from the local community college's literature department and recovering from a broken hip. He fell out of a golf cart when he drove into a sand trap. He's eighty-two and his former girlfriend was eighty. His current one is younger at 77. It's rumored according to Grandma the old one was servicing him orally in the cart as he drove and her dentures slipped. The current one has her own teeth. That sounds like Grandma's kind of people and she claims he still has the marks. How she knows this I dont want to know.
'Gimme A Break' was dead silent as she stepped in, and then erupted in thunderous applause and cheers. The poetry group all gathered around the two newcomers.
"Bombshell, that's Oprah!" Lester was so surprised his steak hoagie missed his mouth and ended up in his ear when he spun around to get a good look.
"Oprah, my dream has come true!" Grandma shuffles out, her face made-up with lots of mascara, green glitter eye shadow, and red lips. She was still in capris and t-shirt. "I'm Edna Mazur," waving her arms. Her gang flanking her.
"If I was Oprah, Babe, 'Id run," Ranger chuckled.
I watched as they hugged between the three. Grandma animated telling her heroine who knows what, but I gave them credit, enthralled by every word. Each senior bopper was introduced to them.
Charlie and Spud presented each with large gift baskets. I could see bottles of microbrews, 'The Good Mother Earth' t-shirts and I could swear sheets. Also receiving a set of the silverware chimes from a few stores down. Grandma was dragging Oprah and Gayle over to her table.
"This is my Baby Granddaughter, Stephanie, and our cutie, Sophia. Shes the one I did the bounty hunting stuff with, but we gave it up." Pointing to Ranger, z'He taught her all that stuff. This is 'The Package'. His name is Carlos Manoso. He owns Rangeman and goes by the street name Ranger. Theyre getting married finally. Our other cutie, Julie. This here is Bobby and Lester, you read about them."
"Hello, it's a pleasure to meet all of you," the talk show host shaking our hands. "Your Grandmother wrote me all about you. She loves you so much and it is so sweet how you support each other."
"Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you," I told her. "Grandma and I always support each other."
She turned to Ranger, "Carlos, I think it is wonderful the excercise program your company has with my older friends providing scenarios to keep their bodies and minds active and your security personnel stays on top of their game. It sounds like a winner."
Ranger was stunned, but he recovered without missing a beat, "I believe everyone has a purpose. Stephanie's grandmother keeps things interesting."
"I'm so happy to be a part of this." She signed an autograph for Julie and I snapped a picture of them together.
Grandma noticed the clock, "I got to go get ready!" She flew off out of sight.
Jasper directed Oprah and Gayle over to a front and center table. Hunter brought over cold iced teas while they got situated.
"Babe, since when does Rangeman have a senior training program?" Ranger leaned over to me.
"Because you care. Youre a softie."
"All of the sudden Julie's cell phone was going crazy. She must have sent her picture to her friends. "Wow, my friends can't believe I met Oprah. They wished something like this happened to them on vacation."
Ranger gave that Cuban eyebrow, "Just wait until tomorrow, you may think differently."
The lights dimmed and Hunter stepped up to the microphone, "Welcome everyone." I could tell he was nervous. "We're very lucky to have distinguished guests tonight here. Jasper, let's get the night rolling."
The club leader wobbled up to the now lower microphone, "Welcome to our summer get together of the 'Reading Poetry Group'. It is such a pleasure to have Miss Winfrey and Miss King here to share this time with us."
The clapping started. Both Oprah and Gayle stood up and waved to the packed café. People were watching through the windows.
"Let me get the night started off. I call this 'Summer Sky'," Jasper bowed.
"I can feel the heat tight in the air.
Thick with the summer sweat.
The clouds look angry in the dark sky.
Thunder is loud.
The ground shakes as lightening breaks.
I watch contented out the window
Safe in my bed from the wrath of the summer sky."
The crowd applauded, someone yelled "Go, Jasper", and there were whistles.
"Up next is Slug."
I recognized the young guy with dreadlocks from the night of the net when he stopped in a car. He cleared his throat, "This is about my life."
"I like to chew gum
And play my guitar.
Eat Doritos with my toes.
That is my day.
This is my life.
Peace."
He gave a Peace sign before he stepped down. The room was even louder.
Ranger just looked at me never saying a word.
The night just got crazier with the poetry. Oprah and Gayle applauding along and seemed to be really enjoying the evening.
Jasper got up once again, "I want to bring up the lady who had a dream to be in Oprah's book club. And look where we are, she's here in our little hamlet. Thank you again, Oprah and Gayle, for gracing us tonight. Oh, we still have some copies of our published works for $5.00 each after the show. Here she is, Edna!"
"Yeah!" "Wooh! Wooh! Wooh!" We were on our feet clapping for Grandma.
Out she steps, Edna Mae West. Grandma was in a tight, scarlet satin dress looking right out of an Old West saloon. It was bustled in the back with a big bow. She had big red plumes in her hair. Charlie escorted her to the stage.
"Ain't this a pip," she told the audience. "I want to dedicate this here poem to my Baby Granddaughters, Stephanie and Sophia. They brought me along for what a ride!"
"Eeeeh! Aaah baa baa!" Sophia banged her sippy cup.
"Hi ya, Sophia," Grandma waved to her.
"Sit back and relax as I have a tale to tell
About the three who do security so well.
It was a sunny summer day
Jimmy Buffet music to play.
Down at Sadies Shakin' Shack
I went a boppin' with my pack."
Grandma wiggled her body.
"My ear did listen a little to that man Ranger
Say he did 'Don't put my men in danger'."
Grandma shook her finger.
"Who me? Who us?
So we got on a bus.
A ride we did need to get back to our home
Send Lester, Bobby, and Tank the chrome dome.
Their packages returned unhurt.
But he may pulverize to dirt
For letting this here ol' Granny
Catch and net each Rangeman fanny."
A picture showed up on the wall of the three Merry Men suspended in the net. Ranger banged his head off the table.
"If youre keepin' score
It's Rangeman 0 and Granny 4.
So give up those three must
Cause they're just eatin' my dust."
The coffee shop sounded like the roof was going to blow off from the applause, stomping, and baby shrieks. The room was on its feet, even Ranger.
"Thanks, Im glad you liked it," Grandma was beaming in all her glory. "When Stephanie and Ranger get married, I'm getting a new official great-granddaughter. Julies from Miami and her English class wrote Haikus so she has one for us tonight." She waved her up.
Julie got up a little unsure but stepped up next to Grandma.
Ranger whispered to me, "Rachel told me Julie still will retreat into herself sometimes from Scrog, so this is big for her."
Grandma had her hand on Julies shoulder. She was nervous, but did it.
"A hot summer night
Words rhyming together for us
Flaming in our minds."
"Righteous! My mind is so in tune," Slug yells. He must be related to Mooner.
Everyone was clapping. Her proud Dad called out, "Proud of you, Julie." Ranger was hugging her tightly when she came back to the table. Her face was glowing.
"Does anyone have any more poetry out there?" Jasper asked taking the stage again.
No one volunteered. He pointed to someone, "Come on up." It was Bobby and Lester.
"Why me?" my fiancée moaned.
They were standing back to back with arms crossed over their muscled chests. They started to rap.
"My name is Lester."
Lester pointed to himself.
"My name is Bobby."
Bobby pointed to himself, them both recited together in time.
"We have a new hobby
We want to become clowns
Making smiles from frowns."
For emphasis, both nodded. The clapping broke out again.
"Babe, these people will cheer at anything."
Jasper patted both on their backs. "What a night! Thank you to everyone and our special guests. We taped tonight and going to burn it onto disks. They'll be available for $5.00 in a few days and reprints of all the works. Good night!"
He was looking at me with pitiful eyes, "Babe, can tomorrow top this?"
"Ranger, that's an all new adventure."
