Randy's Point Of View

I walked up to the door, it'd been a couple days since Ava moved back into her place with Ryder and let me tell you I hate it. I hate not being there when Ryder wakes up and when he goes to sleep, I'm his father and I should be there when he wakes up I should be there when he goes to bed, or when he wakes up in the middle of the night needing fed or just wanting to be loved on. I should be there but I'm not and it's killing me.

I smiled when Ava opened the door with Ryder in her arms. "Hey, I knew that'd be you."Ava laughed allowing me to enter handing Ryder over to me then shutting the door behind me.

"I just missed him so much." I smiled giving him a kiss on the top of the head. "How'd he do last night?" I questioned.

"Oh he was up every hour." Ava sighed. "I ended up just dozing off on the couch with him in my arms about 4:45, and he slept until about 7:15." Ava shrugged.

"He must have just wanted to be in his mommies arms." I smiled.

"That's good and all, until mommy doesn't get any sleep." Ava laughed slightly. "But I wouldn't trade it for the world, if being up all night and having bags under my eyes is the price I have to pay to have little man then I'll gladly pay up." Ava added with a smile.

"If you need to catch some z's I can take him for a while mom and dad were wanting to see him before they leave town." I stated. "They leave tonight I believe."

"He does have an appointment today, so maybe after he can go with you for a while some sleep would be nice." Ava laughed, and looked at her watch. "Damn his appointment is in an hour and I still haven't showered and I've got to get him ready." Ava sighed.

"You take a shower and I'll get him ready..." I offered.

"Are you sure?" She raised a brow.

"Yes, I'm his dad... it's my job to take care of him." I said. "You go.. I'll take care of him."

"Okay, his outfit is already laid out in his bedroom." Ava said. "Since he's going with you after the appointment make sure you put some extra diapers in his diaper bag, I have a few but you might need a few more. And I'd put in an extra onezie or two in there. He's been spitting up a lot the last couple of days."

"Got it." I nodded and then watched Ava walk up the steps to take a shower. "Okay little guy, are you ready to get changed and dressed? We've got an appointment and then you are going to come with daddy, and we are going to see your grand and gramps... Mommy is going to get some rest, since you wanted to keep her up last night." I smiled down at Ryder who let out a little coo.

xXxXx

Ava's Point Of View

Randy and I sat at the doctors, Randy had Ryder in his arms. We had a check up for Ryder since he'd been spitting his food up the last couple days, I was worried he wasn't putting on the weight he needed to, so his doctor just said to bring him in, and we'd check him out to make sure he was still doing good.

"Sorry it was taking so long, we are really busy today." Dr. Rayland smiled as he shut the door behind him. "I looked at his vitals, and thankfully he hasn't lost any weight, I know you told my nurse you were worried because he has been throwing up a lot."

"Yes, just the last couple of days." I nodded.

"Have you been feeding him more? or has he been eating less? Is there any changes in his formula or ... you are breast feeding aren't you?" He raised a brow.

"Yes I breast feed him, and pump for when he's with his dad... especially now that I've moved into my place." I stated. "Before I was with Randy at his place but now that I'm healed I was allowed to move back home. So I pump so that he still has breast milk for when he spends the day with his dad."

"When did you move back to your place?" He questioned.

"Just a couple days ago." I stated.

"I see, that might be why he's throwing up. He probably needs time to adjust to the new environment, sometimes it stresses babies out when they have their environment changed suddenly. I give it a couple more days, and he'll be better I'm guessing. Does he just spend the day or is he going to spend the night also?" The doctor questioned.

"Just the days right now, we both agreed once Ava was allowed to go home. That he'd spend the nights there, so that his routine wasn't disturbed." Randy explained.

"That's a good idea, this is the time for babies that they need their routine the most. So that's good, but you are still having your bonding time with him Randy?" He questioned.

"Yes, I see him every day. and Ava and I have worked out that I will stay at her place a couple days a week, so I have time with him, and we can still bond. Ava has been really good about making sure Ryder and I have plenty of time together." Randy smiled.

"That's good, not a lot of people can co-parent this well." Dr. Rayland smiled. "Okay let me check him out lets get him on the table." He stated and both Randy and I stood up Randy putting Ryder on the table allowing the doctor to look him over, checking his reflexes and such. "That's great he is looking wonderful." The doctor handed him over to Randy.

"Great." I smiled rubbing Ryders back.

"So, do you think he recognizes your voices? Like do you think when he hears your voice he will know it's you does he become more active when he hears you if he's in his bed or anything not in your arms?" Dr. Rayland raised a brow.

"I'd say, when I put him in his bed for nap after his nap when he wakes up he fusses I usually call out once I come into the room, and he seems to calm down instantly, for me and Randy. I've noticed if it's someone other than Randy or I he doesn't calm down so fast. When my mother and father were over my mother went and got him up and she said he fussed the entire time until he was in my arms." I stated. "My parents have only seen him two times since he was born they are coming again this week, my dad has heart issues, so he has a lot of appointments out of town, so he doesn't get to come in to town much right now. But I feel he can recognize Randy's parents voices wouldn't you say?" I looked to Randy. "He loves his grandma Elaine." I smiled.

"Yes, he seems to be pretty alert when my mother is talking to him." Randy nodded. "They live out of state so they've been staying in town for the past couple weeks to help with Ryder if Ava or I needed it." He added.

"That's great that he's able to distinguish your voices from others. That means he's bonding with you well." He smiled.

"So he's not bonding with my mother." I laughed.

"She's not easy to bond with." Randy laughed.

"True." I nodded.

"It will come when they are with him more, it doesn't always come easy for some people when it comes to stuff like this, I'm sure in no time he'll be bonded with her. As long as he's bonding with you two that's all that matters right now, because you two are his lifelines." He stated.

"Great, I'm so happy he's doing good, and he's going to get better." I smiled. "Thanks Dr. Rayland." I shook his hand as did Randy. Then he told us to make an appointment in another two weeks and to call if he isn't keeping his food down within another couple days. Randy and I headed out the door.

"Well I'm glad that he's doing good, I was worried. I feel bad that I'm the reason he's been sick that I'm the cause of the stress." I sighed shaking my head as I turned to face Randy once we made it to the cars, Randy putting Ryder's car seat on top of the car hood. Peaking in to check on him and he was sleeping.

"That wasn't your fault, we have circumstances that caused it. In the end we had to do what was best for Ryder and your health. The doctor said it was fine." Randy smiled. "Don't worry about it, He's fine he's happy and healthy that's all that matters right?"

"Yeah I guess." I sighed.

"That's right, now don't be hard on yourself. You are a wonderful mother and you'd never do anything cause him any harm." Randy smiled leaning in he gave me a kiss on the top of the head.

"You are such a good man Randy. You always know just what to say." I smiled. "So you know if you want to, before you bring him back today you can pack an overnight bag and stay at my place tonight. It's been a couple days I'm sure Ryder would love the extra time with his daddy." I smiled up at him. "I mean if you don't mind leaving your parents."

Randy got a big smile on his face. "I'd love that Ava, for sure. " Randy nodded. "Mom and dad have a flight today at 6:30 so they have to be at the airport by 5:30 to be on the safe side, I was actually going to drop them at the airport before I headed back with Ryder if that's okay? I mean it'd give you a little extra me time."

"Sounds great." I nodded. "I can make us a late dinner if you want."

"Sound wonderful." Randy smiled.

"Okay I'll get going, but you know if you need to just call me and I can grab him early for you." I stated.

"It will be fine Ava, don't worry I'm going to love having some time with my little man." Randy smiled, as he looked in on Ryder again.

I peaked in myself leaning forward giving him a kiss on the forehead before turning back to Randy. "Okay, I'll see you tonight." I smiled peaking in on Ryder once again before I went to my car, waving at Randy before I got in.

xXxXx

Wade's Point Of View

I had been thinking of Ava for the past couple of days. I know she was just moving back into her place and wanted to give her a couple days home with Ryder before I showed up. I know I should be giving her space but I just can't, stay away. I'm so drawn to Ava when I'm not with her, I want to be, when I don't talk to her for a couple days it kills me. I even moved into my new place and got all new furniture, so I'd have no memories involving Ava, especially my bedroom and bed. I look at my bed and can't help but picture what it'd look like with Ava laying in it.

I smiled as I saw Ava open the door, she look like she'd been sleeping as she covered herself with her robe. "Sorry to wake you." I said softly.

"It's fine." Ava shook her head. "Come on in." Ava moved to the side allowing me to enter then shutting the door behind me. She looked at her clock on the wall. "I wasn't trying to sleep as long as I did." She laughed slightly. "I was just going to take a nap, but it's been 4 hours now." Ava laughed.

"I see, so Ryder must be with his father." I nodded.

"Yes, he decided to take him for the day so I could get some sleep. Ryder decided to get up every hour on the hour. So I got little to no sleep last night." Ava nodded "Here have a seat." She patted the spot next to her on the couch. "What brings you by?" She questioned.

"Umm.. I've just been thinking about you." I stated. "I know, it sounds stupid because I just made this big deal about trying to have space and moving on with my life. But I can't get you out of my head. I needed to see you."

Ava bit her lip and looked up at me. "God, why do you have to make this so hard? You wanted space and I'm giving you that Wade. You make it so much harder than it already is." Ava shook her head. "I know being around me hurts because you have to be reminded of what happened with Randy. So why do you want to keep coming around Wade?"

"Because I love you Ava, the last couple of days I've been thinking I went out and got an entire new place, all new furniture, so I'd have no memories of you and you know what? I found myself imagining what memories we'd make, I'd walk into my bedroom and look at my bed picturing what it'd look like with you laying in it. And how your smile would just brighten the entire room, I've come to the realization that I'll never be able to move on, from you and I don't' want to move on not as long as I know that there is the smallest chance that we can work this out. Ava, I know you love me. And you know I love you." I took her hand.

Ava bit her lip. "You know I love you Wade, so much." Ava nodded. "But you know how I feel about Randy, you know that I'll never be able to remove Randy from my life. He's part of my life forever Wade, I'm not sure you'll be able to handle that. You are far to jealous Wade you know that."

"You are right, I'm a jealous man. But I've learned a lot... I realize Randy is a part of your life forever.. but I can handle it, it might be hard but you are worth it. the love we share is worth it. I understand you may be wary but I believe you and I can make it work." I said giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I want to believe that, but I'm not sure I'm ready to be in a relationship right now. I love you so much Wade, but I'm not sure I'm in love with you any longer. The only person I'm in love with is Ryder, he's got my heart right now, he's everything." Ava stated.

"I understand that, I mean I've seen the kid he's pretty damn cute." I laughed, this caused Ava to laugh. "Look I understand you've fallen out of love with me, and I don't blame you. I've given you many, many reasons to.. but guess what I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU."

"Are you sure?" She raised a brow.

"100 percent sure, I know you have fallen out of love with me. But guess what? I'm willing to do whatever I have to do to make you fall for me again, I believe with all my heart that I can make you fall in love with me again, it might be hard because we are both two entirely different people and our wants and needs have changed, I'm willing to do whatever you need me to, and take it as slow as you need me to. Before I wanted you and to be able to sew my oats all over the place, but now all I want is YOU, and to be a part of your life to be the one you can count on, and the one you want to wake up to every morning and go to bed with every night. I want my only one to be you." I said honestly.

Ava shook her head. "I'm not sure what to say." Ava bit her lip.

"I'll tell you what, if you tell me right now that you don't want some of those same things as I do. That you don't see me as a man you can fall in love with again. I'll back off and I'll leave you alone. But if you can't tell me that then I'm going to do whatever I have to do to make you fall in love with me again. Because my life isn't complete, and will NEVER be without you. I know that now, I know I should have figured that out sooner but unfortunately I didn't and I've caused you a lot of pain." I stated.

"You have caused me a lot of pain." Ava nodded. "But I'm glad you did in a way, if you wouldn't of hurt me, I wouldn't have Ryder. And he's the light of my life. And I'd NEVER trade him for the world. Nothing will ever come before him, not now not ever Wade. You have to understand that."

"I understand that, and I wouldn't expect anything less.. you are an amazing mother, and he's a lucky kid." I smiled.

"I'm the lucky one. He's perfection." Ava smiled.

"So.. Does this mean you see yourself falling in love with me again? Does this mean I don't have to go home and try to do the impossible remove you from my life and memories?" I raised a brow.

"You are and always will be my first love. Nothing will ever compare." Ava smiled. "I can see it happening, I can see a glimpse of the man I fell in love with, but I also see a glimpse of the man I always knew you could be. The man I'd always hoped you find within yourself. I knew you were capable of such amazing things, such beautiful things but you always kept me at an arms' length I always felt you were keeping your true self from me. You didn't want to let me in 100 percent." Ava bit her lip.

"You're right, I never felt I was good enough. When I first saw you I thought you were the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on and part of me worried that I wouldn't be able to make you fall for me, that you and I would both end up in an unhappy loveless marriage, then when I felt like you fell for me, I was worried that you would wonder what life would be like without me, you didn't get a chance to live your life or be a normal 18-year old, you were a wife within weeks of being 18 and it wasn't really your choice. I felt you'd end up resenting me, I'd had time to live my life find myself somewhat but you didn't. Then I fell in love with you and I'd never felt like that about anyone and it scared me, so I had to start putting up this wall because I was scared to get hurt, I've never had my heart broken by a woman, or ever.. Well until I lost you, when I lost you my heart broke and I realize now that the wall I built between us didn't cushion the blow when my heart broke, so I was shutting you out for no reason." I explained.

Ava bit her lip I could see her eyes getting teary. "You've never opened up like this to me, this is what I wanted our entire marriage. For you to let me in, to let me see the real you." Ava scooted closer to me. "If this is going to work, if you want me to fall in love with you again, then I think we need to start fresh, I mean completely clean. As far as I'm concerned we need to get to know each other, and really get to know each other. I need to get to know The real Wade Barrett, and you.. You need to get to know the real me, you need to get to know the real Ava, and not Ava Barrett.. But Ava Di Salvo... because you never really got to know her... or what she was like." I stated.

"Well then, that sounds like a good idea to me." I smiled. I held my hand out to her. "I'm Wade Barrett.."

"I'm Ava Di Salvo.. it's nice to meet you Wade Barrett." She smiled.

"Well, Miss Di Salvo.. I was wondering if I could get your number and maybe I could take you out sometime." I smiled.

Ava giggled and nodded, she took a piece of paper that was on the table and wrote down her number. "Well I'm pretty busy but I we might be able to come up with a convenient time for both of us." Ava smiled

I stood up and put the number in my pocket. "Well, I should be going it was nice meeting you Ava." Ava stood up and shook my hand, smiling as I brought her hand to my lips placing a soft kiss upon it. Ava showed me to the door, for the first time in so long I felt as if I might actually have a chance at getting not my life back, my old life but creating a new beautiful life with Ava.


A Note From The Author: well here is the update. What do you think? How will Randy react if he finds out? Do you think it's a good idea for Wade and Ava to start over from the beginning? Will it help them if they really get to know each other and take things slow. Or do you think Randy and the feelings she has for him will get in the way? Or is Ava just crazy for thinking it's possible lol. Anyway can't wait to hear your feedback. Thanks to all who continue to read review follow and favorite this story. You all rock!

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