Pairing: Sort of Fred/Kelly but at heart it's John/Kelly.

Title: What could have been


Fred relaxed on the hanging bench, swinging lightly in the warm summer breeze. He watched as the children ran about the yard happily. He envied them. They didn't have a worry in the world, just running about playing keep away. The older two boys, now nine, were even moving slowly enough that the spunky six-year-old girl could keep up with them. Fred smiled slightly but it slowly faded as he watched them. They all had brown hair, making it obvious that they were all related, but Fred couldn't deny the resemblance that the oldest and youngest boy shared with their father.

"What are you so upset about?" Kelly sat down beside Fred. He glanced over at her before looking back at the kids. "You're watching children play and you're frowning. What's wrong?"

Fred didn't answer right away. He just watched them for a moment. "Avery looks so much like his father." He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yeah, he's definitely John's son. Still a bit mad at him for tricking me into four. Though, that's honestly twice as many as John wanted." Kelly leaned back. The bench swayed from the hooks it was hanging from on the porch. "Why does that bother you?"

"Catherine, though, she looks just like you. Just like back when I first met you when we started training." Fred closed his eyes, no longer able to watch.

"Fred, stop dodging the question. What's wrong?" Kelly placed a hand on his forearm and he opened his eyes to look down at it. "You're worrying me."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to. I've just been thinking." Fred reached over and placed a hand on Kelly's. She looked hesitant. "I've been thinking, all of this could have been mine. A loving family, a beautiful wife, all of it, but I made a mistake, and lost it all."

Kelly sighed and pulled her hand away. "Why are you thinking like that, Fred? You're only going to cause yourself pain. It's been a long time, and you need to get over it."

Fred shook his head. "I know that, it's just…I mean, I see all of this and I can't help but wonder. What if we hadn't broken up? Would we have this? Would we be happy with beautiful children?" Fred turned his gaze to lock with Kelly's. "Do you think we would have had all of this?"

Kelly slowly shook her head and Fred felt his heart break a bit. She didn't think that they would have been happy together. "Fred, we need to stop kidding ourselves about what we were. You and I both, we loved someone else, and when we were together we were settling for the second place person in our hearts."

Fred shook his head. "I loved you, Kelly. I really did. You were the top person in my heart."

"I was the top living person in your heart." Fred looked away at her words. He knew that they were true. There was only one person he'd loved more than Kelly, but she was dead, had been for a long time. "But I know that you did love me, and that was why you did it." That brought his gaze back to her. He was confused and it was all over his face. "You knew that I still loved John the most. You made the choice to break us up because you knew that I would go to him, because you wanted me to be happy." Fred didn't say anything, he couldn't say anything. "Even if you didn't know it, I know that is why you did it." Her hands came up to cup his face. "You really did love me, and I didn't deserve you. You gave me to John so I would be happy, so that all of this could be, and I love you for that, Fred. For giving me to this future." Fred's hand moved up to cover hers. "I'm sorry, that I can't give you the same."

Fred slowly closed his eyes. "I miss her." He took in a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm, but he was finding it hard. She had been right. He had given her up, known that she would go to John, and she was happy. He felt guilt over wishing to change things, take her back, take her from this joy and her loving family. He had no right to even think of such things. "I'm sorry, Kelly. You are where you belong."

Kelly looked out toward the children. "So what brings up you thinking about this?" He frowned at that question. "This isn't something that you just start randomly thinking about this. So what made you start to think about it?"

Fred shrugged slightly. "It's a lot of things, really. I mean, I have a lot of time to think these days. My mind has been thinking about it, and I've been thinking about the past." Fred sighed as Kelly continued to stare at him. "Fine, I had a dream. There were kids, my kids, and they were happy, and I was happy." Fred crossed his arms over his chest.

Kelly leaned over so her shoulder was resting against Fred's. "Did any of those kids even look like me?"

Fred shook his head slowly. "And only one of them looked like me, but you were their mother." He let out a long breath and ran a hand through his hair. He'd let it grow out just a bit over regulation. "That's the problem I'm having with peace. I have so much time to reflect on what I've lost, and what could have been. I guess I'm really just lonely. I don't have anyone to share these days with."

Kelly was silent for a moment before she made a suggestion. "What about Linda? She doesn't have anyone these days."

"First, like I told you I had a thing with her a long time ago, but she let me go. She treated it like it was just for the physical, which I'm not a fan of. Second, and I don't see how you don't already know this, but she's got a thing with Mark." Kelly stared at him. Fred grinned and chuckled. "You really didn't realize?"

Kelly scowled and crossed her arms. "Sorry for being too busy having children and trying to raise them to notice that Linda was spending time with Mark." Kelly's gaze looked out toward the playing children. "You still have people to share your day with. The kids look to you as one of their favorite uncles."

"Wait, what do you mean one of their favorite? I'm not their favorite?" Fred looked hurt by the news. He had thought the kids had always enjoyed the time that they spent with him.

"Well their other favorite is their uncle Arby." Kelly looked visibly annoyed. "Every time John sneaks them out to spend a day with the Arbiter he always takes them to do something military. Firing range, hand-to-hand combat, takes them in a ride on a ghost or revenant or something."

Fred tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Why do you have a problem with that? They are Spartan children, they are going to like that sort of thing. They are the children of two of the greatest warriors in human history, surrounded by family that is all military."

"But they are so young." Kelly's tone made it obvious that she had argued this before, probably with John as he had apparently been sneaking them off to take part in these activities.

"We were just the same age as Avery and Catherine when we started to train," Fred pointed out.

"Oh, now you sound like John. I don't want them to grow up with being a soldier being their only option. We only had the path of a soldier before us, but they have a chance to do whatever. I don't want them thinking that being a soldier is the only choice."

"Then just make sure that they are exposed to other things. Take them to see Halsey's lab, show them some cool experiments or something. If they decide military then they decide it but you also make sure that they know there are other paths." Fred put an arm over her shoulder. "Though with the parents they have, even without exposure to it, they'll likely become soldiers."

Kelly groaned. "I'm not going to win this fight, am I? Both you and John think that it's all right. Though I do like that idea, and I might just use it."

"Well it does take a village to raise a child. Maybe it takes an entire base to raise four Spartan children." Kelly shook her head and Fred frowned. "What?"

"That was just sort of cheesy. Cute, but cheesy." Kelly let her head fall back to rest on Fred's arm. "You'll find something, Fred. The one thing that is for sure about you is that you always find a place that wants you."

Fred turned his gaze to the sky, watching the clouds. "I hope you are right."