Chapter 20: Distant Drums
"Look… It's not what you think. I've spent the whole morning with you and I didn't even sneak off once! I don't see what the big deal is… All I'm suggesting is that we just try to make the most of our time and… you know... split up? That way I can get half of mom's junk and you can get the other half, and then... maybe we can have some free time to do other stuff." Shikasu looked up at her with pleading eyes. "Doesn't that sound way better than having to keep an eye on me all day? Please Nee-san?"
Karua sighed inwardly with relief. Finally! The little jerk was starting to act like his normal self again. She kept her face stern and shook her head. "Look, as much as I would like to stop babysitting you right now, I promised Mom that I would not let you out of my sight. You're still being punished remember? And that means no arcade!"
Shikasu looked down. "I wasn't even thinking about going to the arcade."
Karua smiled evilly. She could read him like a book. "Liar."
Shikasu snorted a little giggle. "Okay, I wasn't thinking about going to the arcade... much. Really! I just wanted to help you get the shopping done quicker."
Karua rolled her eyes. "And the reason for you wanting to get the shopping done quicker is?"
Shikasu sighed. "My feet hurt. I'm bored. I don't like crowds. I've had just about enough togetherness time with my sister today. Pick one, any of them will do."
Karua shrugged. "Sorry, I know it's a drag little brother, but you're the one who tied Ichisui to the awning, and you're the one who's being punished." Karua pushed her way into the plaza.
Shikasu followed her wheedling his way through the throngs of people moving slowly, or just standing there staring at something happening in the center of the emporium. "I don't believe this…" he grumbled, "Look, I keep telling everyone that even if I was the one who wired your boyfriend to the awning, he's a chunin and he should know better than to be so lovestruck that he'd walk into a trap like that." He kicked at the street grouchily "He got what he deserved."
Ichisui… her boyfriend… It had been nice, that 'pretend' date with him yesterday...The thought started a quivery fluttering sensation deep inside her stomach, and distracted her enough that she stumbled over a loose paving stone. She didn't fall, thank the Gods, that would have been embarrassing. She just jostled someone in the crowd and quickly straightened muttering an apology. "I keep telling you… he's not my boyfriend okay? Ichisui is just a friend." Karua said grouchily, pushing her way out of the side street. "Why is it so crowded here? Seriously you'd think the circus is in town." She pulled out the list that Temari had given them and consulted it, partly to distract herself from that pointless daydream, and partly to figure out where they had to go next.
While his sister was doubly distracted by mooning over Ichisui Uchiha and their Mom's needlessly complex shopping list, Shikasu looked around the plaza trying to feign boredom. Dammit, this sucked. He didn't need to get away for too long, he just needed to find out where Inoji would be hanging out at this time of day and talk to her for five, maybe ten minutes tops.
He never thought it would be this hard to find her… I mean her family owned the whole Emporium plaza! He had sort of half expected she'd be right there… in the middle of things… kinda like in Shinobi Legends Four, when the NPCs you needed to talk to to be assigned your next quests would be standing there with big blinking question marks marking them.
Shikasu shook his head. Sometimes he was an idiot.
The problem now was he'd have to evade his sister who, being a typical pain, was listening to everything Mom told her. He'd need another distraction… a really good one. One that preferably wouldn't get him into too much more trouble.
A whispered chuckle muttered through the crowd. Shikasu ignored it, he had much more important things to worry about, like escaping. A boy's face peeked out from behind a row of trash barrels, took a careful survey and vanished again. Shikasu tilted his head. He had recognized that face from somewhere. He saw a hand pop up and watched as four small insects flew off and began to circle the plaza. It was the insects that finally clued him in. It was the Aburame kid who hung out with Inoji Akimichi. Shikasu grinned. It wasn't quite as good a big question mark… but it would do.
Now all he needed was a distraction. The crowd whispered a second time, and once again the Aburame kid eased around the trash cans to take a look. "What the heck is everyone so fascinated by?" Shikasu thought rubbernecking around. He settled his gaze on two figures fighting by the fountain. He smiled, but in his head he was whooping with glee. "Oh… the Gods must love me today! I couldn't have asked for anything better!" he thought cheerfully.
He walked back to where Karua was struggling with her mother's list of gifts for friends and relatives back in Suna. She looked up at him crossly. "Do you have any idea what this says under the order of the glave? It looks like Mom said she wants a red gribble refiner. What the heck is a gribble refiner?"
Shikasu shrugged. "You use it to refine your gribble, of course." Karua stuck out her tongue at him and went back to puzzling over their mother's handwriting. He smiled and counted to ten before he spoke again. "Are you sure you don't want me to take care of half the shopping?" he asked in a bored voice. "It would free up your time for... other... more important things."
Karua didn't even look up. "I'm sure. Mom told me to keep you from doing anything fun and or suspicious so that's what I'm going to do." A laugh ran through the crowd.
Shikasu studied his fingernails. "Okay if you're absolutely sure." There was another snicker. This time Shikasu joined in. "But I really think you should prioritize better."
Karua looked up absentmindedly. "What are you talking about?"
Shikasu shrugged. "Your 'not-boyfriend," he said nonchalantly.
Karua looked puzzled. "What about him?"
Shikasu gave her a dazzling smile. "Well, it looks like he's about to be disemboweled. But I could be wrong, she could be trying to give him quick death."
"What?" Karua asked sharply. Shikasu pointed. Crawling backwards in the dust was Ichisui. His escape was blocked when his back was pressed up against the fountain and he cowered behind his hands. Standing above him, a very angry Hishyoni Hyuga was swinging a katana. "Crap!" swore Karua. She threw the shopping list as Shikasu. "I don't want to see you leave this spot!" She snarled at him as she charged across the plaza.
Shikasu smiled and loosened the straps that held Mister Rubber-bones on his back. "Don't worry," he mumbled. "You'll never see me go."
Ichisui stared up at the furious Hishyoni and watched her katana buzz angrily through the air. He tried to quickly come up with a witty remark (As suggested in Chapter 3 of The Art of Getting any Woman you Want: Letting your words do the hard work for you) that would ease the situation and prevent himself from coming to grievous bodily harm.
In his head, he quickly started a list. "Stop!" had its appeal and had the added advantage of being as concise as you could make it. "No! Wait!" ranked up there pretty high as well. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" was coming in at number three.
Unfortunately what popped out of his mouth was "Wow… That could have gone better."
He wouldn't have believed it was physically possible, but Hishyoni got even more angry. Time seemed to slow down as her sword flashed forward in a short vicious arc. Oh Gods, he thought to himself, I'm going to die… And as far as last words go, those are incredibly lame.
It really could have gone better. It had taken him a good fifteen minutes to gather up his courage to even approach her. He had paced back and forth between the fountain and the market...deftly approaching her only to cower away at the last second. He would turn and hang his head, knowing that even trying to talk to her was a fool's errand, but then he would inevitably glance back at her. He would catch sight of the sunlight glistening on her skin and his blood pressure would spin again.
He made yet another approach. There were five meters between them, then four. At three meters someone crossing the plaza shoved into him with their shoulder. "Watch where you're going Uchiha!" they snapped in a rough voice. Ichisui gave a quick subservient bow and mumbled an apology.
Hishyoni didn't turn around at the outburst. She was too busy trying to examine her arm. It was obvious that the scratch was bothering her. It started high up on her anterior deltoid, went around the arm slicing into the triceps and then ended midway into her latissimus dorsi.
She had managed to wash off the shoulder and arm but cleaning the cut on her back was giving her issues. He was two meters away. Ichisui opened up his mouth to speak, but she bent down to cup more water in her hands and his words dried up as he watched the muscles writhe underneath the strap of her jog bra.
He quietly, nervously took a few more steps. He held out his right hand and charged it with healing energies. She didn't hear him. She was distracted muttering to her herself angrily. He stopped a single pace away and swallowed. The noise in the crowd seemed to die down. "Um... Hishyoni?" he asked quietly, "If you want, I can…"
He had surprised her and she spun. His right hand, which had been hovering about ten centimeters behind her back was now holding something warm and soft. Both Hishyoni and Ichisui stared dumbly at each other and looked down. The universe around them froze in slow crystallizing realization. Ichisui studied his hand groping Hishyoni's chest for a second. Then he swallowed again and looked up at Hishyoni.
He opened his mouth to apologize.
"I…" was all that he managed to say before she kicked him in the stomach.
He went down with a gasp. He was trying to suck in air, when he caught sight of another flash of movement. He rolled to one side, dodging an axe kick that could have easily fractured his skull. He was still trying to breath as he scrambled away from her kicks and sweeps. He could hear the dull titter of laughter spring up from the crowd of onlookers. Again and again she smashed into the pavement, missing him by only the barest margin.
Ichisui managed to finally get a breath into his lungs. He used that small bit of added energy to give a mighty shove with his feet and launch himself outside of melee combat range. Good, he thought, trying to climb back up to his feet. He took a few labored breaths. Maybe I can explain myself.
The madness never left Hishyoni's eyes. A scroll blurred open in front of her. There was a summoning explosion, and he was ducking and weaving away from a hail of kunai. He dodged out of the way but immediately following them was a flying side kick. The kick caught Ichisui squarely in the chest and hurled him back against the fountain.
The summoning scroll was still open. Hishyoni lips were twisted and her teeth bared in a murderous wordless snarl. There was a second summoning explosion and a katana appeared in her hands. She weaved the blade through the first steps of the famed Hokushin sword kata and it buzzed through the air menacingly.
This particular kata ended with a two handed strike to the opponent's head and Hishyota showed every indication of following through. Ichisui felt his sharingan activate as his body involuntarily tried to save itself. The world slowed to a crawl, but lying trapped against the concrete fountain, it was impossible for him to get out of the way of the blow.
Yeah… It definitely could have gone better than this...
There were idiots all through the plaza… and every last one of them was staring right at her. Some of them were even laughing. She hated being laughed at. Hishyoni Hyuga hated a great many things: like that disappointed look her father got on his face when her chakra control slipped during jukken practice, or when her fellow clansmen pointed out her lack of skill and idly wondered if it was because she had 'too much' of her mother's blood in her, and then there was the rage that boiled up inside of her every time someone outshined her performance in the academy, or a mission.
But most of all… she hated being made to look like a fool.
On a good day Hishyoni though of Ichisui as a cute idiot. On a bad day he was the most annoying pest in the world. By the time she left the house this morning, she was already having a bad day. After letting herself get riled up and taking it all out on the Inuzuka kid she felt a thousand times worse. She was annoyed with herself and irritated with the world.
And now Ichisui Uchiha made another boneheaded mistake right in the middle of the goddamned Konoha Emporium… at two in the afternoon… on market day. The jerk was no doubt doing what he was always doing… mooning over her in some stupidly embarrassing way… only this time, his hands ended up on her breasts.
Yeah okay… She was a Hyuga. The whole bosom… coming early… size thing... was apparently genetic. She'd gotten enough comments her final year in the academy to be sensitive about it, thank you very much. Without even thinking about it, she kicked him.
And people started to laugh… and she saw red. Again and again she struck out at him. This wasn't the first time that he'd done something stupid to call attention to her. Except... usually... it was just him that everyone ended up laughing at.
He scrambled out of her way, and naturally she went for her ranged attack. With a well practiced pull, one of her summoning scrolls unraveled and she launched a wave of kunai at him. That attack had the added bonus of frightening the idiots watching enough that several of them turned and ran. Good, she thought. Maybe this will make more of them get the hell out of here! She reached for the next nearest seal… her favorite sword.
She was just going to scare him… not hurt him… Well, maybe just a little... but then "Well… That could have gone better," Ichisui had mumbled stupidly… that was when she had lost it completely. There was another chuckle from the watching crowd. Anger exploded white hot in her midsection. At that moment she felt the humiliation burning hot all over her skin. She just wanted to teach him a lesson, teach him to never bother her again. Teach the whole world to never bother her again. She swung the katana in a overhand arc. Ichisui flinched and raised his hands.
The blade froze like it hit a brick wall. Every one of her muscles was locked tight, straining against each other, screaming in agony. She couldn't move. Some sort of paralysis jutsu. She struggled against it and growled in frustration. "Let me go!"
"I really don't think that's such a good idea right now," drawled a female voice behind her. "Ichisui can be a bit… troublesome at times but he certainly doesn't deserve to be cut up into little bits… So let's make sure you put that sword down."
Hishyoni's hand opened by itself, and the blade clattered to the street. Again the crowd laughed. Hishyoni tried to lunge forward, but the rest of the jutsu held her fast. "You might think you've won, making me drop my katana, but I'm going to kill him," she said coldly to the voice behind her. "This is the Nara clan's Shadow Possession jutsu… you can't hold it forever… and when you have let go of this jutsu, I'm going to try again."
"I could tell that," the voice said dryly, and sighed. "And that's why you're not going to be moving until you calm down. I'm actually hoping that if we can all talk about this like rational human beings, then we can sort all of this out without too much bloodshed."
"Talk?" snapped Hishyoni. "I have nothing I want to say to him!"
"Oh?" asked the voice dryly with a hint of amusement. "Have you ever even tried talking to him? Or have you just been too busy treating him like dirt?"
'Treating him like dirt'? Just who the hells was this woman? No one in Kohona cared whether or not the Uchiha were treated like dirt! "That little pervert has been after me since forever," Hishyoni said, flicking her eyes toward Ichisui. "He's always asking me out, or bringing me flowers, or trying to sing me stupid songs that he's written. He just won't get the message that I am not interested!" She took a deep breath and lowered her voice to a growl. "I'm not going to waste my breath on some sort of freak who thinks nothing of sneaking up and grabbing people when they feel like it!" She moved her eyes around trying to catch a glimpse of the woman who was talking. "I don't put up with that sort of thing. So yes… I'm going to end him."
The other voice paused thoughtfully. "So basically, what you're saying is that you've never actually taken the to sit down and talk to Ichisu... you're just going to jump to the conclusion that he's some kind of raving sex maniac who can wait to get his hands on the first woman he comes across." The other woman made a short harsh laugh. Hishyoni felt her insides twist again. "Yeah… you know him sooooo well…" Hishyoni's body shifted of its own accord and stood up out of its fighting stance. Her feet started to take steps involuntarily, and she could hear the other woman doing the same. "Have you ever just stopped to think for a second that maybe… maybe you're not the center of the universe and that there could be some perfectly reasonable explanation for his actions?"
The owner of the voice finally stepped into view. She was actually another teenager, roughly the same age as Hishyoni. She didn't look much like a Nara at all. She was tall, towering over Hishyoni, thin, had brown-blonde hair done up in two ponytails and piercing green eyes. She looked like the sort of tall, leggy blonde that boys were always drooling over. Hishyoni hated girls like that.
She also looked kind of familiar. The girl gave Hishyoni a stare. "So... Is it going to be lets play nice and talk things over, or do you want to stay there pretending to be a statue for a while longer? If you can stay calm and give me a minute, I promise you we'll figure out what really happened here."
"What gives you the right to stick you nose in my problems?" asked Hishyoni coldly.
The tall girl rolled her eyes. "I'm the one who has you caught in my shadow possession jutsu. If you don't want to behave, I can hold you with it easily for another half hour or so until some ANBU get here and then we can have this discussion. It'll be a total drag, but I'll do it." The girl turned to Ichisui. "What happened?" she asked him.
Hishyoni snorted. "Give me a break… you think that little creep has any excuses?" She pitched her voice loud enough so the whole crowd could hear. The anger still burned hot within her. It was clear that she wasn't going to get any sort of physical revenge so she lashed out at Ichisui the only way she still could. "I'm telling you he's been stalking me forever! He's knows he's a freak! He knows he's a monster! He knows he doesn't have half a chance with any self-respecting girl from this village... It's just my bad luck that he latched on to me!"
Hishyoni glanced over at Ichisui. He seemed have just lost his breath again. He was also staring up at her with a hurt look in his eyes. Good, she thought with a vein of nastiness, serves the little turd right for embarrassing me like that.
She snorted derision at Ichisui, and spoke again for the benefit of the crowd. "What girl would want to date someone like him? Just look at his family! You'd be lucky he didn't murder your parents if you invited him over for dinner!" She shot a look back at the other girl. She really did look familiar... Then she finally placed her face. She was a Nara, in fact she was the daughter of General Shikamaru and the sister of the Kazekage. She had spent some time in the academy with her, but not for all six years. The Nara girl kept bouncing back and forth between the Leaf and the Sand. That was why she didn't recognize her at first!
It also explained things. The girl was a foreigner. Hishyoni decided she'd fill this wannabe Leaf Kunoichi in on why you should stay away from the Uchiha clan. She gave the taller girl a cold smile. "Look little Miss Suna… The only reason why the Uchiha are still here in the village is because the Hokage lets them stay. So my guess is, since the little creep figured out that he had no chance with me, or anyone else in this village, he finally decided to come up to me and grab what he could." She squinted up at the tall girl. "Why do you care about an Uchiha pervert anyway? You're not ANBU. You have no right to stop me from kicking his ass. Why don't you just run along back to the desert and let me teach him a lesson?"
The Nara girl stared down at Hishyoni, her green eyes turning frosty. "You won't be teaching him any lessons," she said in clipped even tones, "Because if I find out that my boyfriend here has been... doing perverted stuff with any other girl… I'll kill him myself." She raised one eyebrow and stared at Hishyoni.
Boyfriend?! Hishyoni looked at the girl, looked at Ichisui, and looked back at the girl. She felt her mouth swing open in surprise.
Karua watched the realization dawn over Hishyoni's face and gave a little self-satisfied nod. That should show you, you psychotic little bitch, she snarled inside her head. The Hyuga girl was one of those almost supernaturally pretty girls with an absolutely knock out figure, who pretended to deplore all the attention that the boys always showered on her. Normally Karua would content despising someone like that from afar. But that tirade of Hishyoni Hyuga's had snapped something in her head. Her logical caution went away and left behind it an ironclad resolve to prove Hishyoni wrong.
She released the shadow possession jutsu and left the Hyuga girl stupidly standing there in stunned silence. She crouched down next to Ichisui and smiled as he stared up at her. The melancholy look that had been on his face during Hishyoni's tirade, was replaced by a mixture of shock and wonder. Karua had a sudden warm feeling of triumph and superiority flush through her. Well… he wanted to pretend that we were boyfriend and girlfriend in front of Hishyoni… and now we're doing it. She felt calm and strong, completely in control of the whole situation. Like nothing could go wrong or oppose her. This must be how Mom feels, when she does something completely politically insane and all everyone can do is watch because they can't believe she just did it, she thought to herself.
Karua leaned in closer to Ichisui. "Hi handsome!" she said brightly, running a hand through his hair. Running high on her elation, she made spur of the moment decision to push things even further. She lifted his chin and gave him a quick, but not completely dispassionate kiss, square on the lips.
There was a stunned whisper going around what was left of the gathered crowd. Karua felt her smile grow as he blushed hotly. That should clarify any doubts she might have… In fact that should prove it to them all… Ichisui Uchiha isn't a joke, she thought hoping that everyone was taking careful notice.
"I hope you're feeling a little bit better now?" she asked him sweetly. Ichisui's eyes flicked to Hishyoni and then back to Karua, he nodded. He looked slightly stunned, like someone had clubbed him over the head. "Good." Karua turned and gave Hishyoni a humorless smile. "Now Ichisui, I want you to tell the 'nice' girl here exactly what it was you were trying to do, before she tried to disembowel you."
The figures following the Nara children stopped and stared. The stalkers of the Uchiha's did the same. Stealthily the leaders of both groups met together to hold a muted conference.
