Chapter Fifty-Two:

"Mackenzie."

A soft moan sounded from the teenager's lips as fingertips brushed the hair off her cheek. She just wanted to stay in the warmth of the darkness for just a little while longer. Here, everything was okay. Her guardian wasn't a stubborn ass that refused to turn her, she wasn't sick, and her confusing feelings didn't matter. All was well.

"Wake up, love," the murmured voice repeated, a palm encasing her cheek now. "Time to wake up, Mackenzie."

It wasn't the real world, however. She was floating in a dreamless sleep, feeling peaceful for the first time in too long. But she knew it was time for reality to come crashing back down around her.

"Come on, my sweet," the voice coaxed. "I know you're tired, but you'll be able to rest soon."

A single eye cracked open, a pout forming on Mackenzie's lips. "Five more minutes."

Godric couldn't help but chuckle. He thought he would never see that childish pout back on her lips. Despite the confusion surrounding her good health, he was relieved to see her alive and well. He wasn't sure how he would have fared had she died.

"Soon, I promise," his thumb caressed her cheek, a smile playing on his own lips. It felt right to be near her, to be touching her. He knew it was anything but right, knowing Eric's fury, but he allowed for a single moment to enjoy her warmth before he let his hand fall back down to his side.

He would have to control himself better in the future.

"How long was I asleep?" Mackenzie rubbed at her tired eyes as she pushed herself into an upright position. She winced as her back cracked achingly. That's what she got for sleeping in the god-awful waiting room chairs. It might have been a supernatural clinic, but the furniture was all the same horrid pieces.

"Not too long," Godric assured. "Dr. Ludwig wants to run some tests to better understand why my blood has healed you."

"Why does it even matter?" Mackenzie huffed, running a hand through her tangled bed head. "It worked before and no one questioned it."

"But your father's didn't," he pointed out. "And yet mine did."

"Who cares? I'm alive. Lets just go with that and go home," all she wanted was to curl up in her own bed and forget about this entire ordeal. Maybe she would be cured this time and wouldn't have to worry about hospitals or dying ever again. It was a fantasy, of course, but it was one she was strongly clutching onto at the moment. "Can't we just go home all ready?"

"You'll do as your told," Eric's gruff voice caused Mackenzie to frown. She shot a glance at the Viking and frowned when she realized he refused to look at her. Her shoulders slumped, realizing he was doing it again, just as he had after they had returned from Dallas.

When was it ever going to be easy for them?

"It won't take long," Godric promised. Though Mackenzie noted sadly, the moment Eric arrived, Godric had distanced himself.

"Hurry it up," Eric motioned impatiently. "Before sunrise, if you please."

"All right all ready," she mumbled, shuffling to her feet. Eric immediately turned, intending for her to follow as he disappeared through the swinging doors once more. Mackenzie sighed as she met Godric's gaze, who only looked away quickly after. "Well this is a happy celebration that I'm alive."

A look of pain swept across Godric's face as Mackenzie began after Eric begrudgingly. The eldest vampire remained where he was, knowing distance was necessary.

When Mackenzie realized he wasn't following, she felt her temperament start to crack. Eric was acting like an idiot all because she didn't want to die, and now Godric refused to be within a foot of her. She was alive. Weren't they all supposed to be happy about that instead of moody vampires?

She had had just about enough.

Mackenzie kept her frustration in check though as she approached where Eric had stopped in the doorway of what appeared to be a regular hospital room. She frowned as she reached him, hesitant to step inside. She wanted as far away from hospitals as she could possibly get. She was tired of being poked and prodded.

"Do I really have to…" the glare he sent in her direction was enough to shut her up.

"For once in your life just do as I say," he took her by the shoulder and steered her into the room. She had barely set foot inside before he was already twisting around and disappearing from sight.

"Yeah, definitely a lot of celebrating," Mackenzie grumbled to herself.

"The fanger is always a delight."

Mackenzie's eyes widened, startled by the voice. Her orbs darted in every direction before falling on the odd little form settled beside the bed. She hadn't even realized she wasn't alone in the room. Was this Dr. Ludwig? What in the world was she?

"What kind of Doctor are you?" the blonde eyed the doctor strangely.

"The healing kind," Ludwig stated blankly while pointing at the bed. "Sit."

She wasn't sold, however, glancing over her shoulder in hopes that Godric or Pam or anyone would come to her rescue. She wasn't that lucky, though.

"Stop dallying around girl and sit."

Mackenzie resisted the urge to pout again as she slowly moved into the room, sitting on the bed. Her gaze never left Ludwig, keeping her eye on what the doctor was doing. When she spotted the vials on the table beside the bed, Mackenzie could feel her stomach churn. Why couldn't tests involve something that didn't have her being stuck with yet another needle?

"What are you?" Mackenzie tried to take her thoughts off of what was about to occur.

"The fanger has rubbed off on you. You're both too nosy for your own good," Ludwig grasped onto her arm non-too gently. "You were sweeter when I first evaluated you."

Mackenzie's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "When you first evaluated me? I feel like I would remember ever meeting you, no offence."

Ludwig merely shook her head, snickering at her as she searched for a vein before swabbing the area with disinfectant. "Northman keeps too many secrets."

"You're telling me," the teen glanced at the doorway, half expecting the Viking to return. She winced when Ludwig suddenly pricked her with the needle. "Thanks for the warning."

"Oh you're a Northman all right," Ludwig snorted.

"I'm not sure if I should be insulted or not."

Ludwig didn't reply, and only continued to draw her blood. Mackenzie sighed as she stewed over the doctor's comment. When had Ludwig ever evaluated her? She would have remembered the odd doctor. Had she been glamoured after wards? Or had it been when she was younger and she just couldn't remember?

Why were there always so many secrets in her damn family?

"When did you evaluate me?" Mackenzie took the plunge and asked bluntly. "And why?"

Ludwig eyed her at first, considering her answer. "You were only a little one when Northman brought you to me. Paid me a great amount to keep quiet."

"But why?"

"I liked you better when you were screaming bloody murder, Ludwig muttered.

"But…"

"Oh be quiet, girl. Let me do my work so I no longer have to deal with your idiotic buffoon of a father."

Mackenzie couldn't exactly argue with her on that one.

Once the vials were filled and Ludwig was placing a band-aid over the tiny wound, Mackenzie was hopeful Eric would finally allow her to go home. But as she stood, prepared to leave, Ludwig shot another pointed finger at the bed.

"Oh no. No no no no no. I'm going home," Mackenzie shook her head wildly. "You took my blood; why do I need to stay?"

"I will not have you falling ill before I've even run my tests. Sit. Down."

She may have been small, but Mackenzie had an intuitive feeling not to cross the strange doctor.

"When can I leave?" she asked in defeat, settling back down on the bed.

"I should have the results by sundown tomorrow," Ludwig collected the vials before scurrying out of the room without another word.

"I have no idea what just happened," Mackenzie sighed heavily, glancing around the room as the boredom began to set it. She had a feeling Godric's wouldn't be paying her a visit, and she hadn't seen Pam since they had arrived at the clinic. She was even more doubtful that Eric would give her some company.

Mackenzie felt utterly alone. When she should have been surrounded by her family, happy that she hadn't died.

It felt as if time was droning on as Mackenzie simply sat there, staring at the wall. When her impatience got the better of her, her own sanity resting on getting out of that room, she shot to her feet and darted towards the door.

"And where do you think you're going?" Eric appeared in the doorway.

Mackenzie skid to a stop, nearly falling right into the vampire.

"Go to bed, Mackenzie," Eric's arms crossed over his chest. He still wasn't looking at her, she noted.

"Why can't I just go home?" her voice felt tiny as the exhaustion of the night started to set it. "I just want to go home."

"And I just want you to do as I say. Bed. Now," he ordered with narrowed eyes.

"I'll go to bed when you look at me," she shot back.

She almost wished she hadn't of opened her mouth, shrinking back at his dark look.

"Bed," the growl sounded from the back of his throat.

When he took a step forward, Mackenzie turned back towards the bed with a resigned sigh. She didn't have the energy to battle with him.

"When can I…"

"Just close your mouth and go to bed, Mackenzie."

Her shoulders slumped forward as she sat on the edge of the bed, her gaze dropping to the floor. Hours ago she had woken to a distraught vampire wishing more than anything she wasn't leaving him. Now he was barking orders as if he didn't even care. She knew that couldn't be true. Not after the raw emotion she had been lucky enough to catch. But had her single plea of wanting to be turned changed all that? Was it all just a show? Was that it? Was he so furious because she was alive and he had to deal with her still? Is that why he wouldn't want her around for an eternity?

Did he hate her that much?

"Are you…" Mackenzie could feel the tears pricking her eyes at the thought that Eric hadn't cared about her after all. He was Eric Northman at all, master manipulator, and an even better liar. "Are you angry because I'm still alive?"

With her gaze trained on the ground, she never saw his glare crack, his eyes widen in surprise.

Was that what she thought? He knew he was acting harsh, considering he should be more than thrilled she was alive. And he was. But the thought of his daughter wanting to be turned, it infuriated him. He had gone to great lengths to make sure she lived a long and happy human life. That was what he wanted, what she deserved. She wasn't supposed to be a part of this world, of this life. He had kept their true selves a secret from her for the first 8 years he had her for that very reason.

"Is that why you don't want to turn me? Because you don't want me around anymore?" his silence only caused her doubts to grow. Her hands shook as she fought to keep her emotions under control.

Eric didn't know what to say. How could she believe that? How could she possibly think he didn't care about her, that he would be angry that she hadn't died tonight?

"Because I mean, I'm 18, you don't…" Mackenzie had to bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep the sob from escaping. Why wasn't he saying anything?

Before a single tear could slip down her cheek, Eric was before her, clasping a finger under her chin.

"Are you really that foolish?" his eyebrows furrowed together. "Do you think that little of me?"

She tried her best to avert her stare, but his hold tightened until her gaze met his.

"Do you think I would honestly be angry that you're alive? That I would want you dead so I wouldn't have to deal with some moody teenager?" he was almost angry that she would even entertain the idea. What more did he have to do to prove that he cared? He hadn't been the father she deserved in the past, but he had tried. He had been trying.

"But you're," her bottom lip trembled. "You're acting like you hate me."

"Oh Mackenzie," Eric sighed heavily, his hold dropping as he fell into the chair beside the bed. He looked exasperated at her beliefs. "Don't be such an idiotic girl. I love you."

Mackenzie blinked at the affection, surprised by it. She never understood how he could be an asshole one minute and kind the next.

"But when I asked you to…"

Pain swept across his features. "Please don't. Not now. Not tonight. I cannot talk about that. I will not bargain your life like this."

"But what if…"

"I can't, Mackenzie. Please don't make me."

"But…"

He stood abruptly, and she was almost afraid he was going to leave. But instead he paced the length of the room, his hands clenching and unclenching. Mackenzie felt deflated. She had done it again, hadn't she?

"I can't talk about murdering you like it's nothing, don't you understand that?" he hissed, but she realized his bubbling anger wasn't directed at her, not really. "How am I supposed to just sit here and talk about stealing your last breath? I can't, Mackenzie. I can't do that."

"But you wouldn't be murdering me, Eric," she pointed out. "I would already be dying."

"You don't understand, do you?" he shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he turned towards her. "You might all ready be dying, but I would be the one to take your last breath. I would be the one killing you."

"It's not really killing me though."

"That's exactly what it is!" he roared. "I would be taking your life. I would be burying you in the ground lifeless. How do you expect me to just talk about that like it's nothing? I can't do that. I can't just be okay with that. I am not one of your heartless parents. I cannot watch my daughter just die at my own hands. I won't."

It felt like a bucket of ice cold water was thrown at her face as realization dawned.

"You're nothing like them, Eric."

"Wouldn't I be?"

"What they did to me was horrible. They didn't care. They didn't give a shit about me. But you do. That's the difference. I had no say in what they did to me. But I do here," Mackenzie reasoned with him. "I want this. I mean, if it comes down to it, I'd much rather be a vampire than dead."

"And I will do everything in my power to ensure that doesn't have to be an option."

"Eric…"

"We will find another way. Once Ludwig has run her tests, we'll know what needs to be done. You'll be fine," he insisted, determined that she would live a long, healthy life. As a human.

"But what if I'm not?"

"I will," he appeared before her, settling back in the chair as he cupped her cheek. "I will do everything in my power to ensure you have the life you deserve. I will not be the monster to take your life away. I can't."

It caused her heart to ache to see that her guardian still saw himself as a monster when it came to her. He had saved her life on so any accounts. He was anything but a monster. He was nothing like those so-called parents of hers that had sold her blood without a care. Eric had cared for her when there had been no one else. He had raised a human girl even though it went against everything about his nature. How could he possibly be a monster?"

"You're not a monster," she whispered.

"Aren't I?"

"You're my dad, not a monster."

His eyes closed at her words, and she could have sworn she spied red rings around his eyes.

"If it comes down to it, if there's no other way, I will do what needs to be done. But never before that. Never when there is hope, is that understood?" he voice was strained. "The thought of taking your last breath kills me, Mackenzie. A father shouldn't kill his own daughter."

She hadn't thought about what it would mean for Eric to turn her. She hadn't thought about how hard it might be for her. Mackenzie had just rushed into pleading for that option before really understanding what it might mean. She knew she wanted this, that if need be, she would gladly take being a vampire over being dead. But she had never considered the implications for her father.

"I'm sorry, I never thought…" she felt terrible thinking he hadn't cared when in reality, he had only cared too much.

"Don't," he stopped her, his eyes opening as he caressed her cheek. "No more talk of it tonight."

"But I'm…"

"As am I," he leaned forward, brushing his lips across her forehead. "You should rest, Mackenzie. It's been a long night."

Mackenzie sighed, glancing at the awaiting pillows. She was tired, but the last thing she wanted was to fall asleep in another hospital bed. "Are you sure we can't go home?"

"Soon," he promised her.

She pulled a face, causing the tiniest smile to spread across Eric's lips. She felt relieved at the smallest of changes, and vowed that after this was all over and done with, she would make sure her Viking father would never be this broken again.

"Sleep," he motioned to the bed.

"Will you stay?" She asked hopefully. "I know the sun is going to rise soon, but…"

"The clinic is light tight. I wouldn't dream of leaving even if it wasn't," he assured her. "Now rest."

"Okay okay," she mumbled, shifting on the bed until she was slipping underneath the surprisingly soft sheets. Once she was as comfortable as she was going to get, she held her hand out towards the vampire expectantly.

Eric chuckled as he clasped his hand around her own, the teen clutching tightly onto his grip. "Would you like me to check for monsters as well?"

Her eyes fluttered close as a yawn escaped. "Maybe later."

He watched as she drifted off to sleep, his smile growing. Shifting his own position, he sought comfort before settling in for the day. Not even the sun would drive him away from her side. He didn't even think she would allow it, her grip remaining on his hand even as she slept.


A/N: I AM SO SORRY! I am the absolute worst, and I'm super apologetic right now. It's been a crazy few months at my internship and I've just had the worst writer's block. But I got some random inspiration this weekend, and I'm hoping it sticks. There should only be about two more chapters left possibly, with an epilogue. There WILL be a sequel. It might not happen for a bit, though it's not going to be an angsty, so it might come sooner. Thank you ALL for keeping with me and all the encouraging PMs and reviews you've sent me. You have no idea how much it all means to me. I just realized that this fic has been going on for two years and the fact that you've all patiently stayed with me, it's amazing and you all rock. COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!