CHAPTER 46
Just an hour had passed since the meal at Nine Nines, but a leisurely walk in the village exhausted Shizuru. Her body ached with fever again. Inside her cabin, she took a minute to unwind, propping herself along the wall.
Peeping through the curtains, life went on outside the murky window. Everything appeared so normal that it was frightening in a sense. Nothing was normal about this place. The smiles from the villagers could be as deceptive as the people who claimed to be her friends. Everything that was happening right now was just too much to handle.
Once more, her attention shifted from the scenery outside to her own reflection on the glass. She had no idea who this young lady looking right back at her was. In the camp, she only saw her face whenever she drank from a bowl—and in the eyes of that boy, whom she murdered for the remaining water after their escape from the prison. The faint scars on her battered feet were the truth, while what she saw in the reflection was a lie.
Kuga Natsuki… Suzushiro Haruka… They're obviously hiding something…
Shizuru grabbed the thin blanket on the mattress, but then stopped. Should she leave? Perhaps, it wasn't the wisest idea to wait for the celebration. Thomas Huit might not be trustworthy after all.
Biting her lips, she pulled the blanket up and fastened it into a sack, packing some spare clothes and the bread she had just stolen from the market. But a few knocks at the door interrupted her. She hid the sack behind the tiny closet before creeping towards the door.
"Hey…" Natsuki greeted, looking elsewhere. "Uh… you know the Captain… She asked if you'd want to join us to the lake. We're going to fish or picnic or—yeah, something like that."
This could be an opportunity to leave the village unnoticed, but Shizuru's thought ceased when Natsuki abruptly pressed her forehead against hers.
"Damn it! I told Suzushiro not to drag you to the village if you didn't feel well enough! Let's go back inside. I'll help—"
"I'm fine." Shizuru remained in the doorway.
After a few seconds in awkwardness, Natsuki withdrew, but the heartbreak in her eyes appeared so genuine that it puzzled Shizuru. The warmth from the girl's skin that had met her earlier felt oddly familiar. Kuga Natsuki existed somewhere in the lost time. Shizuru wasn't quite sure if she could leave this chance behind.
"You go back to sleep. It'll only be just a couple of hours at most. If you need anything—"
Shizuru crawled out of the cabin and shut the door.
"Shizuru?"
"I can handle a picnic. It gets boring staying in all the time." Shizuru offered the brunette a smile for the first time, and it baffled her to see Natsuki's innocent gaze was rapidly filled with joy only because of her willingness to participate.
Natsuki pulled Shizuru's sleeve. "Just a few hours. I wouldn't delay your beauty sleep. Come on!"
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Up the hill, Shizuru and Natsuki joined Haruka and Captain Shiho, with Max looming behind its master. The Captain condemned the gigantic pet as a wild animal that was unsuitable to be near civilization, which prompted Haruka to fire back nonsensical squabbles. They continued to cross the plateau of snowy fields to get down to the frozen lake called 'Raja' (hope). Several villagers were fishing through the holes in the ice plane. Many were picnicking, and others were skating on the blades of their kitchen knives.
Shiho led the three girls to the bank of Raja.
"This is the Huits' favorite place to hang out. Those of us who love to fish would come here and catch our own meals. We don't always buy food from the market," she explained, helping Haruka with the fishing equipment.
Natsuki observed the surrounding. "The Huits' favorite?" she echoed. "There are others?"
Shiho slightly nodded. "Rest assured. The Alyan beasts don't like to fish."
"Beasts?"
Shizuru glanced at Natsuki, silently wondering the same.
"Yes, but they have their own territory. They generally don't bother with us unless—"
"You're sure they don't like fish?" Haruka asked, looking around in fret.
"You must be really fortunate to have eluded them until now." Shiho smiled, engrossed in the task at hand. "You are truly magnificent then…"
"What decides the borders? What sets the tribes apart?" Natsuki paced around.
Shiho hooked the bait. "Hate." The reply came as softly as the calm wind. The Captain handed the fishing equipment to Haruka, leading the girl out to join other fishermen.
Shizuru watched the Captain walking further away, not knowing what to make of her answer.
Arms across her chest, Natsuki moved beside the taller girl. "According to the myth, Alya is a place cursed by the princess' scorn more than a thousand years ago. I'm beginning to understand it now. As soon as I entered this realm, I could feel a powerful presence. Very thinly, but it's there. Her hate has lived on."
"Was hate all she knew?" Despite her reluctance to trust anyone here, Shizuru hoped for an answer that might change her mind about this strange place—or the other world she knew too well of.
Natsuki turned to her companion with a jaded smile. "She knew love just as much. So much it destroyed her. The princess murdered her fiancé for revenge. He was the last Robur bearer in known history."
Shizuru recalled how Haruka slipped about the holy swords once or twice before. Whenever the subject was getting too deep, the blonde would change the topic.
"Are the bearers here as well?" Shizuru asked in the most nonchalant way. When Natsuki hesitated, it was obvious that she wouldn't get an honest answer.
"They were here," Natsuki said. "They fought against us over Robur, but I don't know if they had found a way to get back to Windbloom." She looked at the dark sky that had persisted since the day they fought atop the mountain. "I'm not sure at all if they did…"
In a solemn moment, Shizuru studied Natsuki, astonished that Natsuki seemed to hope for her enemies to escape safely. The sadness in those eyes somehow made Shizuru anxious even though she had no reason to be bothered. She had seen that look somewhere before, and knew back then just what to do to comfort the other.
Shizuru reluctantly tapped on Natsuki's shoulder. "We'll get out of here, Kuga. We'll go home." After seeing the baffled look on Natsuki's face, Shizuru snapped her hand back in embarrassment. If anything, Natsuki was more likely to be the one to get them out of this place.
Conversely, Natsuki amazed Shizuru with a wide smile. The intense gaze of gratitude was almost hurting as Shizuru couldn't remember if anyone had ever looked at her with such faith before.
"You know you promised me once that you'd take me home," Natsuki said, recalling.
'Are we going to die…?' the poisoned Natsuki muttered, lying on the ground.
Leaning against the wall of the cave, Shizuru glanced up at her companion's shadow-cast face. 'I'll take you to Ventulus no matter what. You have my word.'
As the moment flashed through Shizuru's mind, the uneasiness she felt was erased by the stillness of time. Shizuru looked up at Natsuki. "Did I keep my promise?"
Natsuki smiled even wider, shaking her head. "You took me to places I'd never been to, and I never regretted it."
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On the other side of Raja, Haruka sat on the ice with Shiho and a few other fishermen, watching her friends strolled along the bank, engaged in a conversation. For the first time since the accident, Natsuki dared to reach out the same way as Shizuru who started to open up. Natsuki was the light as Shizuru was the night. Haruka marveled at just what both of them found on the other side of the world.
"It's happening again," Captain Shiho said out of the blue as she put a fish into a bucket.
"What'd you say?" Haruka pulled the bait a little, bored that she hadn't caught any yet. Behind her, Max poked the bucket open and picked the fish up with its beak.
"The time has come. We've been waiting for this for a long, long time."
Haruka's brows arched in confusion. "You've been waiting for us?"
"The Fatum bearer, to be exact."
Haruka's hands stiffened.
Shiho squinted at the two girls some distance away. "My bet is on the taller one."
"Wah—what—"
Chortling, Shiho gestured at the wound on Haruka's palm. "A deep, narrow and precise cut. Was it a gift from Robur?"
At the sudden mention of the sword, Haruka gulped in panic. "Uh, No—I—no—"
Shiho stared hard at the blonde for a minute, and then burst into laughter. "This is amazing! This can't be real! Unbelievable!"
"Would you mind explaining the cause of humor, Captain?" Haruka huffed.
"Don't tell me you're all the sword bearers!" Shiho laughed harder, slapping her knee.
"Definitely not, or else we'd have the swords with us!"
"That's even worse. The sword bearers should never let anyone else take hold of their swords. It could be very, very bad."
Haruka bit her tongue lightly, thinking fast of how to counter the Captain. "B—but we are no bearers."
"Even if you are, it's probably too late now." Shiho turned to slap the bucket shut, preventing Max to get the last fish inside.
Haruka sweated like a pig, glancing left and right. "Interesting—what's too late?"
The Captain grinned when a fish took her bait again. "Once the swords found their masters…" She pulled the bait up and caught the fish with the other hand. "They will become masters and slaves to each other… Forever, it shares your soul, and when you lose it to another, you'll be slave to the thief's mind."
Haruka found her gaze locked on the Captain, powerless to move.
"Do you feel it, Suzushiro-san?"
"Feel… what?" Haruka's question came in a hypnotized murmuring.
The Captain baited again with a silent smile. "The thief's rage and mercy."
Haruka closed her eyes, her hands trembling. "No… no… I…"
"His malice and sorrow. His love and pain… You feel them, don't you? In your sleep. In your waking hours. It follows you like a shadow."
While Natsuki barely had any sleep due to the stress over Shizuru matter, Haruka had perfected her fake slumber. It never made sense to hear a girl's crying in her head. It frightened her that she kept hearing the same voice muttering spiteful vengeance even when she was absolutely alone. It drove her insane to think that it could be her own inner mind doing. She lost it, didn't she?
"I… I feel…" Haruka began.
Tokiha…
At the last notion, Haruka jumped to her feet, her face blushed in anger. "I am not a sword bearer! I told you we are not!"
Haruka spun around, wanting to rush to her friends. But something stopped her. Shizuru and Natsuki seemed to be so relaxed, socializing with other villagers. There wasn't much evidence if her friends also felt it. Natsuki's worry over Shizuru could have clouded other things from her mind. Shizuru, however, had been having nightmares. The person in Shizuru's dreams could be the one who possessed Fatum right now. The Huits might not be the only ones who were after the Fatum bearer, and it would post possible danger to the fake holder.
"The bearers are nothing without the swords, but the swords are nothing without the bearers as well. It's the truth that many just wouldn't accept. What's not ours will never be ours. Do not worry, Suzushiro-san. It will return to you if you manage to stay alive until then."
Haruka stood motionlessly, her back still facing the Captain. "Why does it have to be the Fatum bearer?"
"It's Fatum. Fate. We can't deny it." Captain Shiho held up a bucket full of fish and smiled again. "Twelve hours to go. Are you ready?"
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With Numen tied by red web to her wrist, Nao struggled up the hill of black soil into a dense forest of dead, white trees. Fog allowed her only five meters of clear sight ahead. It was so quiet that she could hear echoes of dropping water. It must have been only days she had been roaming alone, but it felt like a month to her. Time had become so cruelly slow.
Wiping the mud off her neck, Nao took a wobbly step forwards and threw herself at a tree for support. Tears slid down her cheeks as she breathed harder. If this were to be the last day of her life, she had no idea whom to miss, or who might miss her.
Nao laughed at herself. She no longer felt the pressure of the web around the bloody wound on her wrist. Numen was so heavy, or was it the weight of her heart? Strangely, the thought of the previous Numen bearer often slipped into her mind. Throughout her days at the Kuga mansion, she would watch the little raven-haired heiress play in the garden with her loving mother and her heroic father. In a world of innocence, Natsuki had it all. But it was neither the billions in hard currency, nor the castle of dream Natsuki lived in. Only love counted.
Nao let out a dry scoff, closing her eyes. "No… Oh, no… I don't regret leaving you to die. You paid for his crimes, little one. I made you pay…" She murmured, her head tilting back to rest against the trunk of the tree. "You… play… playing in that wicked garden… again. You're left… in the dark… you… I'd join one day… Kuga Natsuki… Natsuki…"
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Natsuki…
Holding a pair of skates, which was made of kitchen blades attached to the soles of the leather boots, the villagers had made for her, Natsuki's head shot up at the voice, thinking it was Shizuru calling her by her first name.
Shizuru nodded in a polite gesture, an act which she herself didn't even notice, when she received a pair as well. "Do you skate, Kuga?" She observed the strange shoes. But there was no response from Natsuki.
Shizuru looked up. "Kuga?"
Realizing that it was only her mind playing tricks, Natsuki looked down. "Uh, yeah… They're pretty cool, huh? We got ice skating back in our country, too. You were a skating champion and had tons of fans!" Natsuki winked.
Shizuru's eyes widened a little in alarm, and then sat down and began to put the skates on.
Natsuki inwardly grinned. She could suddenly come up with loads of reasons to teach Shizuru a lesson today. First, for being a dimwit, serving Ira without questions; second, for helping Nao fight for Robur, in which the ordeal ended up in Natsuki losing Numen instead; last but not least, for waking up again, only to forget her.
"Okay. Stand up." Natsuki didn't even give Shizuru the time to gain her balance on the blades. She grabbed the older girl's hand and towed her into the ice, faraway from any villager who might give her a hand.
"Umm—K—Kuga—I think—" Shizuru tried her best to appear calm, perhaps afraid to ruin her image as a once skating champion.
Smirking, Natsuki sped up like she was in a F1 race, and then swiftly let go off Shizuru. At breakneck speed, Shizuru land splat on her face.
"Look at you! You've made my day!" Natsuki involuntarily bent low, her stomach hurt from laughing.
"Nice to know." Sprawled on her stomach, Shizuru glared up, the left side of her face reddened by the hit on the ice.
"You were no skating champion. As a matter of fact, you sucked at it, and you still do." Natsuki skated around the taller girl's body. "Get up. Get up. Come on, I'm not going to help you, big girl."
Shizuru seized Natsuki's ankle and hauled it, causing Natsuki to fall hard on her back.
"Urgh! Damn you! What the hell were you doing! I could have broken my back!" Natsuki reached for Shizuru's collar, but the taller girl crawled away in time.
Natsuki got up and skated towards the taller girl. "Whoa. Wait…" Shizuru still ignored her. "Hey, I was just teasing you. You weren't so bad, just had no talent, that's all. You're not mad at me, are you?" Natsuki sat down on Shizuru's back, arms across her chest.
Halted by the weight, Shizuru looked over her shoulder. "You're rather heavy."
"I am not!" Blushing, Natsuki lifted her legs up and sat Indian style.
Shizuru grumbled at the increased weight on her back. In one rapid move, she flipped over, plunging Natsuki down and entangling the girl's legs with her arms to limit her movement. Natsuki madly flapped her arms, twisting and turning, to no avail.
"Okay! Okay, you win! Let go already!"
Shizuru stayed put. "Not until you tell me something."
"What is wrong with you!"
"There must be a way to get back to Windbloom."
"Damn you! You think I want to be here!" Natsuki was exasperated, humiliated even more so when the villagers started pointing at her.
"Who are you?"
"I'm your guardian's only child! I'm one of the top students at Garderobe! You're supposed to treat me with grateful manners! Got it, you dickhead!"
"Somehow, I think you're not telling me everything." Shizuru couldn't help smiling as she sprained Natsuki's leg harder.
Blood shooting up to her face, Natsuki gathered all her strength and kicked up, thrusting Shizuru away. Natsuki took the chance to climb atop Shizuru, pinning her hands down with harsh grips.
"One thing you should know: nobody messes with me!" Natsuki declared, and the villagers clapped for the winner of the match. "Thank you. Thank you." Natsuki turned to wave at the Huits. But the moment of triumph fell short when Shizuru let out a cry of pain through her gritting teeth.
"Hey, you're okay…? I—I didn't kick that hard, did I…?"
When the cry ceased, Shizuru just stared up at Natsuki, but her gaze penetrated through the dark-haired girl and was lost in stupor.
"Oh, shit! Talk to me! Can you hear me!" Natsuki shook Shizuru's shoulders in panic.
"Akane…" Shizuru gasped.
Natsuki's heart skipped a beat when the name slipped through the pale lips. Sitting up, Shizuru looked around as though searching for a sign of the said person.
"You remember Higurashi Akane?" For a fleeting second, Natsuki was inundated with delight.
Brushing her hair from her face, Shizuru sighed quietly. "I believe it was her, calling for me. It sounds like she needs help…" Shizuru then looked at Natsuki, her gaze almost pleading. "Is she… really a friend?"
Natsuki sat next to the taller girl and hugged her knees. "Don't you know?" she mumbled.
"I kept hearing her in my dreams… Her look… those smile…"
"She came for Robur with Minagi-sempai. We lost track of one another after the fight at the castle."
Nodding slightly, Shizuru looked up at the dark sky, clutching her hands together until her knuckles went white. Natsuki squeezed Shizuru's hand in reassurance.
"She's one of the girls my father had helped. You two are really good friends. I'll help you find her—"
"It's all right. Maybe I'm just too tired and imagine it myself."
"I don't suppose she's as lucky as we are. She might have encountered the Alyan beasts like the Captain said—"
"All the more reason you shouldn't seek her."
Natsuki paused. Shizuru already acted as every Kuga girl was obliged to do: serving the best interest for their guardian's child. The old Shizuru was emerging, albeit slowly, but Natsuki didn't know if she should be happy. However, once Shizuru squeezed her hand back, she was just amazed at how wonderful it felt just to be next to this person.
The suppressed sensation was unpredictably overwhelming that it scared Natsuki from delving in and touching it. There was always a distance between them, and she felt safer that way. Unexpectedly, Alya's hate spared no one as its love knew no boundary. Time stayed, emotions multiplied. This world appeared either plain ugly or marvelous in one's eyes, and with Shizuru's presence, Natsuki couldn't help but see its exquisite side.
Shizuru moved a little in her post.
"You could take your hand away," Natsuki said, daringly staring.
"Hmm? It's quite all right." Looking away, Shizuru faked a small cough.
Natsuki just laughed. She managed to make Shizuru feel awkward for a change. "I know you don't want to!" She bent closer to gawk at Shizuru in the eye, sticking her tongue out.
Shizuru turned to face Natsuki, suddenly looking serious. "And why is that?"
Natsuki stopped. Shizuru had shifted their positions and gained an upper hand, catching her off-guard. There was no definite answer between them. Their relationship had remained mostly on the physical level, wordlessly agreeing not to let it get to them. Had they expect it to turn out like this all along? Ventulus was a dream long lost to Natsuki, and conceivably, Alya could be next. But she was not going to let the moment pass by without making something out of it, however fickle it was.
Natsuki slowly lied down and rested her head on Shizuru's lap, knowing that Shizuru would most likely allow her to do so no matter what. After a few subtle sighs and a moment in silence, Shizuru began to feel a little more at ease, taking liberty to stroke the silky, raven hair.
Eyes closed, Natsuki just enjoyed the serene moment that rarely came by. Peace was something Alya offered to every soul, only if one would take it. She felt it, and believed that Shizuru did, too.
When Shizuru started to hum a lullaby, Natsuki opened her eyes and watched the deep purple sky. "If Alya could grant you a wish, what would it be?"
Shaking her head, Shizuru chortled at the silly question. "Oh, well, let me think."
"Whoa. I'm surprised that you're not that eager to leave." Natsuki softly nudged Shizuru's knee.
Shizuru stared down at the icy plane, trying to see through the murky mass to the water below. "I'd like a new start. A fresh start."
Natsuki frowned. "You wanna lose all your memories?"
"I didn't literally mean that," Shizuru said, sniggering.
Natsuki shrugged and returned her attention to the stars. "Yeah, I know. Nobody would wanna remember a life in that camp."
Shizuru raised her brows in small surprise.
"You told me that much and more," Natsuki said.
"We must have been good to each other then."
Natsuki stopped at Shizuru's light comment, biting her lips at the honesty that threatened to slip out of her mouth. But she finally gave in. "You were fighting for my father's agenda, which I disagree. He's starting a war, but I'm going to stop it."
Natsuki sighed at the blank look on Shizuru's face. "He has his dream to change the world for the better, but it's taking our freedom away. I can't stand that."
"Hmm. Who's winning?"
"Clarify what you mean by that, Fujino Shizuru." Natsuki glowered at the taller girl.
"I'm just curious."
Natsuki sulked. "For God's sake, you're taking sides already."
"I don't want to fight in a war if I don't know what it's for."
"I just wish you'd stay out of it," Natsuki said with finality.
"While you're in it?"
There was a pause before Natsuki spoke again. "Why would it matter?"
"You would rather I only stand back and watch?"
"Answer my question."
Shizuru took in a deep breath at the demand, contemplating how to respond. "I prayed every night for someone to free me from that camp, but… No, it doesn't really matter whose side it'd be, I wouldn't let anyone take my freedom away again."
Natsuki's gaze drifted away into the deep mountains of mystery.
No, you wouldn't, Shizuru. You wouldn't know what the future holds—how people changed…
Time amended everything. Years of growing up under Mr. Kuga's care, Shizuru lost her way and put all her faith in him, imprisoning herself again by the bond of Ira.
"Remember what you've just said, Shizuru. Don't you forget it."
Shizuru blinked in puzzlement. "Kuga…?"
Clutching Shizuru's hand, Natsuki just closed her eyes. In this eternal land, she wondered if anything lasted. For a foolish second, she preferred they'd never leave Alya, if staying here could keep Shizuru from all harm.
