A/N: I literally couldn't stop laughing when I wrote this chapter. Ridiculous, seeing as it's my own writing. I have such an immature mind LOL! Smut warning…As Sheldon says: "Revenge is a dish best served nude!" ;)

..

Amy and Sheldon were lying on the couch, post-coital and happy, covered in the blanket.

"Wow!" Amy breathed. "That tops our first time!"

"Really? I thought our best coital session was before we found out you were pregnant, and we tried loads of different things." Sheldon said.

"Never thought I would hear you say that you enjoy trying something new!" Amy joked. "Hey, I think I know how to get revenge on the guys for teasing you!"

Sheldon was alert. "I'm listening."

Amy turned over to face Sheldon, exposing her bare chest.

Sheldon noted that her breasts had grown a lot since she had been pregnant.

"Sheldon, I'm up here!" Amy's voice cut through his thoughts. "You can look at them anytime."

"Sorry." He blushed.

"Anyway, I think that we should really disturb them! They thought our roleplay was bad? They haven't seen – well, heard – anything yet!" Amy grinned devilishly. "They're all coming over tomorrow to play Halo, right?"

"Right."

"So I'll feign distress, and you'll come to check on me, and then…We have the craziest, wildest and freakiest sex we've ever had! Not only will we enjoy it and it will top the list as our best sexual session ever, but it will disturb them so much that they will never want to speak of our sex life again! What do you say?"

Sheldon stared at Amy and blinked.

"Amy, I think that's evil." He said, and Amy's face fell.

"Let's do it!" He grinned.

And at that, Amy's impish smile returned to her face. "Brilliant. It has to be said that I am an evil genius!"

"And you are a vixen!" Sheldon added, cuddling her closer.

..

"Howard, could you please pass the Soy sauce?" Sheldon asked.

The guys were gathered at Sheldon, Amy and Leonard's apartment the next evening, enjoying take-out food and playing Halo.

Amy had excused herself, saying that she needed to change into something comfy before she ate.

As she left the room, she caught Sheldon's eye and winked at him.

He winked back and bit back a grin as he applied some Soy sauce to his food.

"So…Silver, how's the Lone Ranger?" Howard asked, nudging Sheldon.

"I'm sorry; I don't know who you're talking about." Sheldon replied calmly.

Sheldon hadn't touched his food yet, but he had been stirring it round the container with his fork.

"Are you going to eat that or are you happy just pleasuring it?" Raj asked, sending Howard and Leonard into childish giggles.

Sheldon said nothing, but smiled smugly at the thought of his friends getting their just desserts.

"Sheldon! I need help!" Amy called out.

Bingo!

"I'll be right there!" He shouted back, abandoning his food.

He hurried to the bedroom, and was met by Amy behind the door, who pulled him into a heated kiss in the darkness.

Sheldon closed the door, and the two of them started to undress each other.

"What are we going for?" He asked.

"Well, I was thinking this, going into this and finishing with this." Amy replied, pointing to images in her magazine.

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "Uh, that last one…I'm not sure I can do that."

"Yes you can." Amy replied, "Maybe we should start off with something…"

"Like what?" Sheldon asked, settling under the covers.

Amy leaned down and took him in her mouth, surprising him.

"Amy…I'm not sure you should be doing that!" He hissed, "It's unhygienic for you."

She ignored him, and continued to move up and down his length, flicking her tongue against the end.

"Oh God…" He whispered. "Stop. We agreed to have intercourse."

"We will once you make some noise so they can hear you." Amy replied, stopping momentarily.

"Um…okay." He thought for a moment, before deciding upon: "Oh yes Amy, take it all!"

Amy giggled and stopped what she was doing.

She grabbed the bottle of water off the bedside table, and swilled some water round her mouth, before depositing her mouthful into the trashcan.

She positioned herself on top of Sheldon's lap as he sat up, and let him slip inside her, as they sat straight and ground against each other, moaning loudly.

..

In the living room, the guys had heard, and sat still, too shocked to move.

Raj had his fork halfway up to his mouth, but abruptly dropped it back into the container before placing the container on the table

Leonard covered his face with his hand. "Oh dear God…" He muttered.

..

Back in the bedroom, Sheldon and Amy had changed positions, so now he had entered her from behind.

"Oh yeah, big boy! I want all of you inside me!" Amy shouted out.

"Oh Yeah, this is how you like it!" Sheldon replied just as loudly, spanking her loudly on the butt.

"Last one." Amy said, as she rolled over onto her back, resting her legs on Sheldon's shoulders, as he entered her and leaned back slightly, thrusting in and out.

Amy loved how deep he was going, and moaned loudly, feeling orgasm wash over her.

"Sheldon, don't stop. Go faster! I'm so close." She cried out.

"Hold on tight, I'm going to give it to you good!" He replied, increasing his speed.

Amy orgasmed loudly, followed shortly by Sheldon.

"Oh God Sheldon!"

"Oh Amy!"

They both slowed down and regained their breath, laughing quietly.

"Wait…I have an idea." Amy giggled, grabbing a bottle of hand cream and squeezing some onto the bed sheets.

"Amy!" Sheldon hissed, as she rubbed the sheet together to make it more believable.

Sheldon started laughing under his breath as he put his underwear back on and covered himself with a bathrobe.

Amy put her own underwear and bathrobe on.

"Amy we can't go out there yet." Sheldon whispered.

"Why not?"

"We probably look messy and smell like…What we just did…"

"Good. Out you go!" Amy replied shoving him forward, and Sheldon opened the door reluctantly, as Amy ripped the bedsheet off and took it with them.

Appearing in the hallway, the couple couldn't help but smirk at the expression on the guys' faces.

"Sorry, Amy needed my help." Sheldon said, breathlessly. "Where were we?"

The guys all looked up at them, wordlessly and eyes wide in shock.

"We have to do laundry." Raj said, as he grabbed Howard by the arm and the two of them ran out of the door.

"I…have to kill myself." Leonard added, racing after Raj and Howard.

"Wait! If you three are doing laundry, could you take this sheet down for us?" Sheldon asked innocently.

Leonard turned around and spotted the hand cream stain.

He grimaced. "Oh God!" He said, and sprinted down the stairs.

Amy and Sheldon exchanged smirks and burst out laughing.

"I don't think they will ever comment on our sex life again!" Amy laughed.

Sheldon put his arms around Amy's shoulders and leaned down to talk to the bump.

"Lesson one, children: creeping people out gets them off your back."

"You are a bad influence!" Amy chuckled, stroking her stomach as she and Sheldon closed the door.

..

The next day at work, Sheldon sat at the table with his friends in the cafeteria.

"Gentlemen." He greeted, anticipating if they would say anything.

They all exchanged awkward glances.

"Good afternoon Sheldon." Howard greeted.

"Did you all sleep well last night?" Sheldon asked.

"I dreamt that I was in hell." Leonard replied. "And by 'hell' I mean you and Amy having loud sex."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Sheldon answered, innocently.

"Are you kidding me?" Howard chipped in. "You guys were so loud! I've never heard a woman make that much noise before."

"I'm sure you haven't." Sheldon replied, making Leonard and Raj laugh.

"Who knew that Sheldon was the dark horse of the four of us?" Raj said.

"He's the only one of us who can actually please a woman sexually." Leonard frowned.

At that moment, Kripke walked past.

"Hewwo wosers. What's up Coopew? How's your wady doing?" He asked.

"Hello Kripke. She's pregnant." Sheldon replied.

"Ow man I'm so sowwy."

Sheldon frowned. "We planned them."

"Ow then congwatuwations. I bet youw mothew isn't pweased that you'we having kids unmawwied?"

"We are married. We married in Florida; a private ceremony. We're having a real ceremony once the twin are born; you're welcome to come."

"Wiww thewe be women?"

"Uh…Yes?"

"Sweet…I wook fowawd to it. Thanks fow the invite. You stiww giving it to hew good?"

"Of course." Sheldon replied, looking to his friends, who shuddered.

"You should have heard them last night." Raj croaked, grimacing.

"Haha! Nice one, Coopew! Keep hew cwying out youw name! I nevew thought you'd be that good in the sack!" Kripke grinned, clapping Sheldon on the shoulder.

"Yes, well…I excel at so many things. Why should intercourse be any different?"

Kripke walked off, grinning widely.

Sheldon noticed his friends staring at him.

"What the hell was that?" Howard asked.

"What the hell was what?" Sheldon frowned.

"You're friends with Kripke now?"

"Yes, well we have a lot in common…"

"Like what?"

"Like physics, and the fact that we actually enjoy pleasing our women in bed, unlike you three." Sheldon let his words sink in, before he leaned forward. "Now, you three won't make jokes about mine and Amy's sex life again will you? Unless you enjoyed last night's performance so much that you'd like an encore?"

"Noooo way!" The three of them protested

"I'm glad we agree." Sheldon replied, standing up and taking his food off the tray to take back to his office. "Goodbye. I'll see you later."

Leonard, Howard and Raj all exchanged a glance.

"How does he make Amy orgasm so loud?" Howard frowned. "Do you think he'll tell me?"

Leonard frowned at him. "Just keep doing what you're doing, Howard." He said, sarcastically.

..