For the first time in a while Spike woke up in a gasp, the heart monitor machine beeped manically, and Maria was in the room before Spike even had a chance to open his eyes. She stood over the bed, as she calmed him down; using all the techniques he knew before as she refused to use medicine to calm him, they had come so far and she knew Spike was more than capable of calming himself. She kept back from the bed but within his sight so he knew she was there if he needed her help, he blinked slowly, the frown between his eyes deepening as he felt the massive headache.
"When you ready Michelangelo, were going to sit you up, remember who turned up yesterday, he's right here and ready to see you" Maria said keeping a calm and relaxed voice.
She knew it was dangerous grounds for Spike, with Ed here the atmosphere was going to be volatile at best, she just wished Sam hadn't left, he was the only one who could truly calm his brother down. She looked down on her charge, noticing his closed eyes and slightly heavy breathing, she moved slightly closer to him as she noticed the frown turning into a deep crease and he squeezed his eyes tightly.
Spike's eyes shot open as he took in a deep breath, he's breathing became heavy and fast again as he glared at Maria, fear was evident all over his face; Spike began shaking his head dramatically, the loud roar of the gun replayed over and over in his head, as his Ma fell lifeless. Maria watched as the tears streamed down Spike's face, as he gripped at the sheets, as the veins in his neck popped out as he tensed up, the only noise that filled the room was Spike's intense breathing and Maria soothing him.
"Spike, remember your breathing and slow it down for me, no one can harm you hear, this place is safe and you are doing so well!" she whispered clutching his hand.
Ed watched on in horror, he never knew the extent of Spikes state, Ed stood up to leave having seen too much but stopped when Spike screamed at him.
"Don't you dare leave" Spike went from scared to angry in a split second.
Ed spun round, eyes furrowed as he stared at Spike, the fire in Spike's eyes were unrecognisable to Ed, and the usually friendly, warm, brown eyes were filled with rage and fire. Ed was stunned and anxious at Spike's sudden movement, he swung his legs over the bed and stood up and took a step closer to Ed, Maria's eyes grew wide, this is how Spike had changed with Sam on the day of the fight and she felt fear for everyone's safety.
"Spike how about we take you both to the kitchen, we can sit down and talk?" Mariah said, trying to win Spike's attention.
Spike's gaze was locked on Ed.
"Why did you come here Ed?" Spike spat out.
Ed was stunned, he didn't know how to reply, or to keep Spike calm; the reason he had come was running through his head, but he was tongue tied, he just stared blankly at Spike.
"Stop being a coward Ed, why did you come here?" Spike tried again.
That got Ed. The fire run through his veins a mile a minute, the heat, the rage produced was almost painful, his gaze locked with Spikes, the intense gaze was adding fuel to the fire as both men grew angrier with each other.
"Guys, can we calm this down" Maria pleaded, praying Mikhail would walk through the door.
"I'm a coward?" Ed sternly said in disbelief.
Spike managed to get off the bed and had calmed his breathing down a little to make it more manageable, he was shaking with rage and Maria backed right off, ready to make a run for it out of the room.
"I'm a coward…you make it sound like I wanted to shoot your family, Spike I had no chose, it was either you or them." Ed shouted.
"It's my family Ed, I could have stopped it." Spike screamed back, tears flowing down his face.
"You're going to call that family? Sorry to be harsh here buddy, but you need to hear cold truth of this, I was there they were going to shoot you, I wasn't prepared to see you die, because your family hold some grudge, that isn't your problem and do I regret my decision no…" Ed hissed.
Spike glared at his team leader, his face blank, his eyes full of hate and rage.
"But not a day goes by where I don't wish things had gone differently." Ed's glare didn't drop. "So you can call me what you want, but don't you dare call me a coward."
He finished trying to cool himself off.
Spike stood firmly in place and motioned with his hands around him, he was in pain again and Maria could see it, she hid her fear and swallowed.
"I've been locked up in this hell hole for over five months, my family are dead Ed, I am on my own!" Spike screamed.
Ed and Maria flinched at the rawness of his tone.
"And the only person who is responsible for that is you!" Spike continued.
The hairs on the back of Ed's neck stood up, he face screwed up with rage, his fist clenched at Spike's harsh words, and before he could stop himself it was already out.
"You don't think your family are responsible for this?" Ed shouted back twice as loud.
That was all Spike needed, he darted forward taking Ed to the floor and pinned him under all his weight; Ed could feel the difference in his body, he was a lot leaner but whatever they were doing for PT had changed his strength and centre of gravity, he was stronger now than before. Spike had him by the collar of his jacket and was trying to cool his breathing down as his head spun with the flashbacks going through his head; his stomach was rolling as he looked at Ed and heard gunfire, he needed out of the house again.
"Spike, you're stuck in the flashback, let us help!" Ed whispered.
"Spike, please let him go?" Maria whispered.
He looked up at her and she was ready with a Taser in her hands, it was pointed at Spike and he knew they hurt like hell; he slammed Ed back down on the floor and ran out of the room, down the stairs and out of the building, he didn't care where he ran too but he needed out of there before he went crazy, he spotted the fields where he relaxed before and made a beeline for his favourite spot in the high grass overlooking the hill crest.
Ed slowly got off the floor and Maria helped him up, checking on him to make sure he was unharmed by the violent manoeuvre Spike used to disarm him; he nodded to her and made sure she was alright.
"What the hell is going on, I thought he was ready to meet us?" he demanded.
Maria looked at him and beckoned him towards the meeting room downstairs; she grabbed some coffee and pulled Spike's medical files and notes from the last couple of months for Ed to see. She slowly started to explain his state when he came in, how he took unwell, fought back against the shrink and had violent episodes and wrecked his room and hands on furniture as he fought the demons inside his soul. She told him about the 'Room of Pain' Sam came up with and he was horrified, he knew they were planning something for him but to slam it into his face at point blank was basically killing him and turning his fragile state into a barren wasteland. She told him about beating up Sam, how he was ill again after getting out some unresolved issues and how Sam backed him up no matter what.
"He beat Sam up, that is not like Spike!" Ed whispered.
"No, but it was a very positive emotional response, if he didn't do anything then he was going to be detained under Mental Health; Sam's actions and quick thinking brought him out of the stupor he was in and made him face the horrors, they were a pretty picture for a few days afterwards!" she replied.
Ed nodded in response considering both had passed expert classes in hand to hand combat and close quarters training, but he would never have believed that Spike would intentionally harm Sam, someone who they both called brother when they had their meetings with the bosses.
"How bad was it, please I need to know?" he whispered.
Maria sighed and handed a copy of the flash drive of the 'room' experiment.
"We recorded it for him to watch when he was ready, we felt that there was a lesson to learn somewhere and Sam asked us to keep this safe, he isn't quite ready to watch it yet, but maybe in time he will be able to watch it without the pain in his eyes." She replied gently.
Ed looked at the innocent little object in his hand and realised that the information on here could make or break one of his closest friends and family members; his heart crumpled as he came to the realisation of what both Spike and Sam went through on that day and that maybe forcing his demands to be first here was a really bad idea. He stood up suddenly and Maria joined him as she sensed trouble in his body language, she touched his arm gently and he looked at her.
"I need to find him, do you know where he goes, does he have a favourite spot to relax in?" he asked gently.
"Follow the path along the old fenced corn field, take a left at the fork and climb the hill, he should be there overlooking the waterfall. Take this phone, hit the star button twice if you need assistance for anything and Mikhail and I will answer immediately."
Ed took the small phone and nodded as he made his way to the door, Maria called on him and he turned back round to face her.
"Be careful, Mikhail has taught him at least two martial arts and if cornered he can do some serious damage, Mikhail says he puts everything into his studies and he is a strong opponent, even for Mikhail." She said gently.
Ed nodded and headed in a jog along the path and towards the old fenced field.
