Chapter Fifty-Three: Love Bites (So Do I)

It checks you in and kicks you down and chews you up and spits you out.
It messes with your sanity by twisting all your thoughts around.
They say it's blind they say it waits but every time it seals your fate.
And now it's got you by the balls it won't let go until you fall.
I was down and out, got up I said "Hey love I've had enough."
I've felt pleasure without pain. My soul you'll never tame
~Halestorm

Nilly and Tyler made their way down the stairs reluctantly. Her arm was linked around his as they went step by step. She had her head down and eyes on what her feet were doing. Nilin was laughing about a joke Tyler had mumbled under his breath when someone appeared in front of them, blocking their path at the bottom of the steps.

"I've got it from here," Damon said, extending his hand out to Nilin. She looked between Tyler's bunched eyebrows and Damon cocky smirk.

"Listen, dude." Tyler was saying, but Damon just rolled his eyes.

"Dude? Really?" Damon shook his head, grabbing Nilin's arm and replacing Tyler's with his own.

She saw that Tyler was about to protest.

"Its fine, Tyler," Nilly told him. "He's not worth it. I'll talk to you later," she called after him as Damon pulled her away. Tyler just stared after them until he finally hurried out the other door.

"You don't have to be so rude, Tyler's a friend." Nilin hissed at Damon, who wore a prideful look of supremacy on his face.

"What? I was doing you a favor. I'm much better arm candy than that tweeny jock," he grinned.

Nilin rolled her eyes. "Your ego is suffocating, Damon." Nilin said.

"Yes, but you love it," he declared, snaking an arm around her waist. Nilly blushed a little.

"I'd love it if you'd tell me exactly what you're doing," Nilin eyed him. As they walked out on the patio a few stares lingered on them.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Damon shrugged, grinning.

"It's not your time slot to be babysitting me, remember?" she told him as they slowed and stopped in the middle of the patio.

"Do you mean to say, that I can't voluntary spend time with you, Nilin?" he asked her, his eyebrow lifting up.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, actually," she said, looking around the backyard.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, princess," she heard Damon say but her attention wasn't on him. It was on the scenery around them. The Lockwood's had went all out this year. Arcs laced with white flowers lined the doorway. Round tables were set up around the edge of the patio, each decorated with more white flowers. Virginia Dogwoods, that's what the flowers were. Paper lanterns hung around too, not yet lit.

It was quite beautiful, but again her attention was pulled away as Damon twirled her around. "Damon!" Nilly squealed in surprise. He took one of her hands and laid it on his shoulder while he put his own on her lower back. "What are you doing?" she asked, giggling slightly as he began to sway.

"Dancing with a beautiful girl," he reasoned. "Now hush, don't ruin it."

Nilin rolled her eyes. "And why?"

"Well, since our first actual dance was interrupted, I thought we'd try again," he grinned down at her.

Nilly couldn't help but smile. "But there's no music," she tried to pull away slightly. He didn't let her. Damon just pulled her closer, never breaking his rhythm. There was no way she was going to escape this without losing an arm.

"So?" he questioned as he spun her in a circle. She groaned in defeat, leaning her head on his chest. Nilin caught people looking at them. Her cheeks began to burn. She hated being the center of any kind of attention. Nilin actually found herself worried about what people might think of Damon because he was with her. Rumors of Nilin's mental state and the reason why she hadn't been seen in public have been swirling around for over a week now.

One being that she was a hardcore drug addict now.

She quickly pushed all those thoughts out of her head and tried to focus on moving her feet.

Not that she needed to worry too much. Damon maneuvered the both of them easily, making her look almost graceful. Damon chuckled, causing Nilin to lift her head from his chest and peek around them. Other couples had followed their lead. A bunch of them were all now dancing and laughing around Nilin and Damon. She lifted her head higher to see Mrs. Lockwood scrambling with some man to get a speaker hooked up. She must have caught on too, and soon music began.

Damon dipped her backwards, causing her to gasp, and a feeling of déjà vu came over her. "See, now you can't complain. There's music for you, princess," he smiled, standing her up again and continuing to waltz with her.

She just shook her head. "You're evil," she glared jokingly.

"And you're gorgeous," he complemented, causing her cheeks to brighten even more. His eyes trapped hers, and she felt that acing pull in her chest. The song morphed into another one and they kept swaying.

"So we haven't talked much," he said after they were quiet for a moment.

"What do you mean?" Nilin laughed, looking up at him. "We talk every night."

"Ah, yes," he smirked. "But that's while I'm on duty, that's official business."

"Oh, I see. What a tough job it must be to keep my ass safe," she joked as she was spun in a circle again.

"I think I've done a pretty good job at covering that," he smirked. Nilin felt the hand on her waist slowly slip lower. She quickly grabbed Damon's hand and put it back on her waist, glaring at him. A false innocent look came over his face as he continued to dance with her.

"What is it that you wanted to talk to me about, now?" she asked, moving on.

"You, of course."

"Mmh," Nilin hummed. "But I am such a boring topic." She saw Damon's lips perk up. "What about me, though?" Nilin asked as she linked her hands behind his neck.

He sighed, moving his other hand to her waist and pulling her closer. "You see, Nilin, I've been thinking…"

"Oh, here we go," she smiled up at him.

He ignored her comment and kept talking. "I've been thinking and I've come to a realization." They slowed down as the song ended, and Damon stepped back, encasing one of her hands. "I'm not sure what is going to happen between the two of us, but what I am sure of is that it's not going to be a repeat of our pasts."

Nilin was quiet at his words. She watched as he bowed and kissed the top of her hand. Nilin curtsied, like in olden times, and a small smile came across her face.

"I think I was starting to figure that out too," she said quietly as Damon released her hand. "Thank you."

"You look like you needed to smile," he said, snapping Nilly out of her thoughts. She looked up at him as they slowly made their way down a path that led down to a large pond on the Lockwood property.

"I'm fine," she said, try to sound convincing. Nilin caught him looking at her out of the corner of her eye and she knew he didn't believe her.

Nilin knew he was keeping watch over her every night, he must hear her nightmares. Usually, after they said good night, he would leave through her window and sit in some unknown perching spot outside her window. But still, she knew he could hear her.

When she'd startle awake, usually yelling, she'd find herself alone in her dark bedroom. But the moment she was able to fall back asleep again, Nilin had the feeling that he would sneak back into her room. Not that she would ever say anything about it. He kept her nightmares away.

"Of course you are," he seemed to say to himself. She eyed him, her nose scrunching up.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked accusingly.

"What? Oh, nothing," he said as he strolled ahead of her a little.

She sped up a little to keep pace with him. "You're not fooling me." Nilin said.

"And you're not fooling me," he snapped back, spinning around to grab her shoulders.

"I'm not trying to pull something over on you, Damon." Nilin told him, attempting to get out of his grip.

"Bullcrap," he gritted his teeth. "I see you every day, Nilin. You're not living, you're going through the motions. You're not even present most of the time."

"Well, what do you want me to do? This is how I know how to survive." Nilly told him. She stopped her squirming and stared him dead in the eye.

He was quite for a moment. Then he spoke. "I want so much more for you, Nilin. I want to see you happy again. I want you to live." Damon explained, stopping in the middle of the path. Nilly realized that they had wandered farther than she thought. She saw the lights of the party up the hill as the sky started to dim.

"I can't, okay. I can't. How am I supposed to be happy when I'm too scared to breathe?" she nearly shouted, a slight quiver in her voice.

She finally managed to pull out of his grip. His hands slipped off her shoulders as she turned away from him, looking out towards the water. Nilly felt him come up behind her, his lips brushed against her hair. The feeling sent an electric burning sensation down her spine. She leaned into him, as his cheek pressed to hers.

"I can change that," he whispered.

Nilin laughed slightly. "And how can you do that?" she asked. Damon began to sway his hips with hers, her eyes closed involuntarily. Then she felt his mouth press on the side of her neck. "Damon," she warned, but she didn't move away from him. She liked the feeling this was giving her, all her senses blaring as he littered her neck with kisses. "Damon, no," Nilin tried to say.

"Why not?" he countered. "You wouldn't be scared anymore, you could kill that bastard with a flick of the wrist." His lips returned to her neck, kissing at her pulse point, right where her blood surged.

Could it be that easy? Just give in and end it, but she wouldn't be ending it. She'd be making herself faster, stronger, better. Damon was right, she wouldn't have to hide from Christian. She'd be equal.

"You wouldn't even feel it, it'd be like falling asleep and then you would wake up. Everything would be new, better. I promise," Damon murmured into ear. She pressed against him more, her head falling to one side.

This wasn't the first time this thought had crossed Nilin's mind. Whenever she would lay awake at night in bed, trying to figure out how she could stop Christian and end this all, the answer always seemed to boil down to her changing. Her transforming into the thing that terrified her the most, a vampire.

She'd picture herself, eyes red with blood, veins crawling out under her eyes and fangs extended. Some nights the thought comforted her enough to allow her a few hours of sleep. Other times, it made her sick and frightened her to death.

But Nilly realized that even though this would be an answer to solving a hundred of her problems it would be bringing up a million more. How could she make a decision like this? How could she do that to her family? Her friends? What would she say to them? She'd have Damon, but would she lose everyone else.

"I can't Damon," she finally spoke, picking her head off his chest and turning to face him. Their bodies were still pressed together, her hands on his chest and his securely around her. Nilin looked up at him. "I'm not sure if I can make a choice like that. I don't know if I want that life, your life," she spoke quietly. "But if I do ever do make that decision, I want it to be for the right reasons, not out of fear. I want it to be thought out, not in some haste." Nilly tried to explain to him.

He was quiet. For a moment, she saw a flash of something in Damon's dark eyes. It looked like some sort of sadness or disappointment but he quickly composed himself.

She trailed her hands up his chest, laying her palms on his cheeks. Her fingers caressed under his eyes, where slight veins were still somewhat visible. "Can you respect that?" she asked softly.

"I'll do whatever I have to, to keep you alive," he said and Nilin took that as his answer. She leaned in capturing his lips, her hands still cupping his face. She felt his hands slide up her back and lace through her hair. His fingers ran through her hair easily. He pulled away with a smile.

"I like you better with curls," he teased and Nilly laughed, kissing him again.


Author's Notes:

Hey guys! Here's Chapter 53. I hope you like it! And I hope you had a fabulous week. Do you think Nilin made the right decision? What do you think is going to happen next? Let me know and I'll see you all on Monday, like usual!
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