Previously in chapter 45
Lexa draws a sketch for Marie's tattoo to be integrated into Trikru and she gets it marked into her skin. It takes long into the night, to finish the huge tattoo, but Marie is happy to finally be Trikru for real.
Chapter 46
When Anya returned a few minutes later after having her bandage changed and gathering a balm to sooth Marie's freshly marked skin, the woman walked into the tent to see Marie still hugging Lexa tightly. Anya remained where she was for a moment, just watching her former second and the younger one together. She was positively surprised that the commander had allowed the girl to obviously become a little closer to her. After what had happened with Costia, Lexa would not allow anyone close to her any longer. It seemed that Marie somehow was in the process of breaking through the iron walls Lexa had put around her heart in the last years. Their connection was loose and only growing, but it was obvious nonetheless.
Lexa had of course heard Anya enter the tent and her green eyes were now firmly fixed into Anya's.
It made her chest tighten to see this expression in Lexa's green eyes. She knew how much Sierra's betrayal must have hurt the commander, her losing control afterwards in the privacy of her tent was testament to that, but she had also seen the concealed hurt flash through the same green eyes when Marie had openly just sought out her own presence and averted Lexa earlier. Obviously, they had both begun to care deeply for the young girl now, even though Anya still had a hard time to understand how that had happened.
When she had agreed to take Marie as her second in TonDC, she had just felt the sudden need to somehow help the young girl. There was something in Marie which she had never seen in anyone until now and seemed that the same thing must be calling to Lexa as well. Although Anya knew that Lexa always had a rather soft spot for children and how much the younger nightblood children adored the commander.
For all of their sakes, Anya hoped that Marie would not hold a grudge towards Lexa, but somehow, she doubted that she would, at least not for long.
Silently, the woman wondered what would happen with Gustus now. He had been willing to die for his daughter. On a personal level she could understand this decision completely, but it also meant that Lexa would be a fool to continue trusting him blindly for now. She highly doubted that Gustus would make the same mistake again, to think that he knew better than the commander, but he had still disregarded her orders and thus undermined Lexa's authority.
After a few moments of silently watching them both, she slightly cleared her throat to make the girl aware of her presence as well.
Marie let go of the commander with an almost sheepish expression and smiled at Anya, with her grey eyes shining happily.
Anya held up the jar she had gotten from Nyko and said "Sit on the bed, so that I can apply the balm".
Marie nodded and complied quickly with her directions. She had remained topless, so she could immediately sit down on the bed, facing her back towards Anya. She startled slightly when Anya's fingers made contact with her skin for the first time, as the balm was surprisingly cold.
"Sit still" Anya chided the girl lightly, pausing her movements until the girl visibly straightened and with gentle fingers, she applied the reddish balm which smelled strongly of honey and had a faint trace of marigold as well.
The girl hissed slightly at her touch and wiggled in discomfort, when she moved her fingers over her lightly swollen skin.
Anya had to give silent credit to the girl for having been still and patient during the actual marking process, she knew how much it could smart, if the tattoo rested over bones.
The girl was relieved, when Anya finally closed the lid of the jar again after having finished with the skin on her back.
Lexa in the meantime had looked through a wooden chest and dug out a soft shirt for the girl to wear for the night. She knew how the girl's skin must feel right now, so she needed something loose and soft for the night. It was one of her own undershirts and the commander stepped up to the bed, directing Marie to lift her arms over her head. She simply slipped the fabric over the girl's head directing her arms into the short sleeves of the shirt and regarded the dark shirt with a frown on her face. The thing looked ridiculously large on their charge's small frame. She internally wondered if she ever had been this small.
Her thoughts must have been written clearly on her face, as Anya seemed to have to battle to not start laughing out loud, a definite smirk tugging at the woman's lips.
Lexa narrowed her eyes at her former mentor with a slight pout on her lips. The shirt did look ridiculous on Marie after all.
Anya could not contain her laughter at the commander's antics, as it reminded her of the girl Lexa had been when they met. The girl had also been more of a runt, but what she had missed in physical size and strength, she had made up with sheer determination.
Marie looked between the both of them with confused grey eyes, not having caught up with the silent conversation between them.
Lexa huffed in annoyance at being laughed at like that by the woman, but she knew that her general did not mean any harm with it at the moment.
When Anya suddenly winced with obvious pain flashing over her features from the laughing, which had pulled at her healing wound, Lexa's annoyance faded completely and was replaced with a feeling of gratitude. She had nearly lost Anya forever and she just now started to see again, how precious the woman really was to her. With a slight grimace, Lexa thought about returning to Polis after felling the Mountain and facing Titus again. She knew the man would not take kindly to her renewed relationship with Anya and he would probably have a fit, when he met Marie and recognized the significance the girl already carried for her.
But that was a conflict for another day, so she pushed such musings from her mind for now, they only had a few hours left, before the sun would rise again calling her back to her duty. The commander knew that Anya also dearly needed all the rest and time to heal, the woman could get if she was to ever regain her strength and the day had been exhausting to all of them. She felt completely drained, but she doubted that sleep would really help with the hollow feeling that had taken up residence inside her chest.
"We should rest before the sun rises again" Lexa finally said. She already wore comfier clothes fit to sleep in, so after Anya had nodded and stood up from the bed, the commander climbed into the bed and laid down slipping under her furs.
Marie was still sitting on the edge of the bed looking between the bed and her own furs with a frown on her face and indecisiveness flashing over her features. The girl absolutely hated sleeping on her stomach, but she doubted lying on her back would be a possibility for the night, the skin on her back already felt tight and painful without lying on it.
When Marie still had not moved a few moments later, Anya asked "What is wrong? Go to sleep, Marie."
The girl looked at the woman with a pout on her features, which Anya did not see as she had not even opened her eyes.
Marie answered her in a slightly whiney tone "I can't sleep on my stomach…"
Lexa could practically hear Anya rolling her eyes at the answer and before the other woman could tell the girl to just suck it up and go to sleep, Lexa motioned the girl over to herself, lifting her furs up invitingly for the girl to slip under. Lexa just lowly chuckled to herself, when the girl immediately snuggled up to her lying on her side, with her head cushioned on her chest. She softly let her finger glide through the girl's blonde hair a few times, while wondering how this position was any different from sleeping on her stomach on the furs.
But she had spent enough nights with the girl in exactly this position, to know that it indeed helped her charge sleep immensely even though the girl herself obviously had not caught up with that yet.
Feeling the girl's smaller frame pressed against her, also helped herself now, feeling the hollowness within her chest mute slightly. When Lexa had slipped under the furs alone a few moments ago and had closed her eyes, she had immediately been confronted with Sierra's dark eyes staring at her from the tree in her head. Her dark eyes accusing her darkly.
As the commander, Lexa had already executed many people through the years. But she had always been haunted by their faces in her sleep, no matter if she had known them personally or not. It had been worse, in the first year after her ascension. Nothing could have prepared her for the harsh reality of truly leading people, of carrying the responsibility over their lives on her shoulders on her own. Costia had been the only reprieve in those times. And when she had been killed and Lexa had been delivered her head, she had been unable to sleep at all. She had suffered from nightmares for days on end, Anya had stayed with her for those nights, holding her through her sorrows in silent solitude, before she had finally learned to close of her heart for good.
Lexa had felt a piece of herself dying back then, but it somehow started to come alive again now. Thankfully, the girl's regular breathing grounded her thoughts in the presence somehow and allowed her to slip into a dreamless slumber quickly.
The girl had not moved an inch, when Lexa awoke long even before the sun started to rise again. Her body was completely programmed to rise early, as the hours before the sun rose, were mostly the only time through the day she had to herself. Her duties kept her occupied mostly long after the sun had already set again. Being away from Polis, gave her a little more leisure time, so there was no urgent need to rise this early now as well.
The arm on which Marie was still lying, was completely sensationless and cautiously Lexa tried to get her arm out under the girl's body. But as soon as she started to move slightly, the girl just followed her movement snuggling up to her upper body again. With a silent huff, Lexa resigned herself to her fate for now. When they finally would rise later, her arm would still be fine after a few moments. Instead of falling back asleep, Lexa thought about what she needed to do over the course of the next days.
She already knew that planning the war against the Mountain would be straining. The involvement of Skykru was bound to cause unrest in her army. It had been difficult and strenuous enough before to get the generals of the different clans into order and she had the dark foreboding that it would be even worse now. She was sure that some of her generals would be testing her patience during the next days. With that line of thought, her mind strayed to the blonde Skykru leader.
Lexa wondered what on earth had made her tell the other woman about Costia. But in that moment, it somehow had felt to be the right thing to do. She had absolutely no idea, why her eyes seemed to look for the blonde woman whenever she was near.
She had to give Clarke some credit. The girl had not cowered beneath her at all. And she silently admired her stubborn will to get her friends out of the Mountain. She recognized the soul of a true leader in the blonde Sky girl, even though Clarke herself seemed completely unaware of her strength. She knew how much strength it must have cost Clarke to murder the boy she loved.
With that, her thoughts irrevocably returned back to Sierra. Lexa felt a pang of pain in her chest as she remembered her last words. "Little Lexa" only Sierra had ever called her by that nickname, Anya using it on rare occasions as well. She remembered fondly how they had met each other years ago shortly after Anya had begun training her as her second. Sierra had always been slightly bigger in their shared childhood years and she had liked to tease Lexa with that. And being young back then, she always successfully riled Lexa up with it.
Lexa also knew that she soon needed to make a decision concerning Gustus. Even though he had been innocent in the end, she had clearly seen in his eyes, that he might have done something similar, if Sierra had not beat him to it. She doubted that she would have to punish him publicly though. He had paid enough already with seeing and participating in his own daughter's execution, even their own people would recognize that Gustus' loyalty had come at a high personal price. Mentally, Lexa was sorting through warriors she trusted enough to serve alongside Gustus in her personal guard. She could not let Gustus continue as her sole personal guard, until he had fully redeemed himself again. But she could also only appoint someone who truly held her trust without even the slightest hint of doubt. It would be disastrous if she appointed a guard who would maybe even be inclined to assist in an assassination attempt.
Lexa was interrupted in her thoughts, when Marie started to wiggle around still pressed to her upper body. One of the girl's arms was bend behind her back and she seemed to be scratching at her skin underneath the lose shirt. But the girl's eyes were still closed, so she did the scratching subconsciously.
Lexa gently shook the girl's shoulder with her free hand to wake her. It would not be long now, before the sun rose, so they could finally get up now anyway.
Marie startled awake from her light touch instantly, but her scratching only increased with a pained groan and a grimace rested on her face.
Lexa extricated her numb arm from under Marie's body and chastised her charge in a firm tone "Stop with the scratching. The skin must heal undisturbed or you can destroy some of the design." She was satisfied with the way the tattoo had turned out and it would be a shame if it was damaged that way.
With great reluctance and still moving her shoulders around to get some friction from the shirt, Marie obliged her words, but a slight pout ghosted over the girl's lips in obvious discomfort.
Lexa was cautiously massaging her tingling arm with the other hand as blood flowed again freely through the limb.
"Sorry" Marie apologized looking slightly shamefaced.
Lexa just shushed the girl with a shake of her head and saw that Anya had also woken up and seemed to carefully stretch herself under her own furs. She watched the older woman from the corner of her eyes, searching for signs if her condition might have worsened again.
Lexa snatched the jar of ointment from a small table next to her bed and mutely motioned Marie to turn around and strip off the shirt. The balm should be able to sooth the girl's irritated skin so that she would stop trying to scratch at it.
While turning around Marie looked into Anya's brown eyes and warmly smiled at the woman mutely. Marie was relieved to note that Anya did not appear so exhausted any longer and colour seemed to slowly return to her complexion.
The girl flinched away from the commander's fingers, when she started to apply the balm and she noted that some patches of the girl's back looked slightly inflamed. They would have to keep a close eyes on the healing process, before an infection would fester. It would be a disaster if the girl's back caught an infection, too much of her skin would be affected to simply remove it.
Anya had stood up from her nest of furs and now stretched her hands up over her body, which promptly brought an agonized expression onto her face.
Lexa knew how impatient Anya was when it came to her own body and the time a wound needed to heal, but she would also keep an eye on the older woman to make sure she rested. When they would finally march against the Mountain, she wanted to know Anya to be next to her, so the general would need all the time left before the battle to get better.
Sounds from other inhabitants of TonDC were starting to filter through the tent and not much later Gustus announced Alira's arrival, who brought in a heavy tray laden with food for all of them.
