Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. Skippy, hope you had fun abroad. Sounds wonderful :) A special thanks to Max and Fern 4ever for giving me the idea for who may be able to help Callen. I thought it was a good one. Also, sorry that this chapter is kind of short. For whatever reason, I had a hard time writing it, but wanted to get something out this weekend.
xxxxx
"That was so fun," Kensi said as she got back into the wheelchair and Deeks pushed her away from the ferris wheel. "I've always loved ferris wheels, ever since I was a little girl."
"One thing I'll say about you, you're definitely easy to please," Deeks said, smiling as they approached the bench where Callen was sitting. The smile left Deeks' face quickly though when he looked at Callen. He looked disturbed and almost seemed to be dazed. "Hey Callen? You okay?"
When Callen failed to respond to Deeks' question, Kensi reached for his hand. Callen jumped at her touch and looked at Kensi in confusion.
"Callen? Are you alright?" Kensi asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He got up from the bench and started walking ahead of them towards the exit. "We ready to get out of here?"
"What was that?" Kensi asked, looking up at Deeks as he started to push her again.
"I don't know," Deeks said, shaking his head. "But I'm pretty sure it wasn't anything good."
xxxxx
The mood in the car was tense as Deeks drove the little group back home. Callen was silent which rubbed off on Kensi and Deeks as well. Except for a few brief periods of small talk, none of them said anything. When they arrived back at the house, Callen immediately headed for the stairs and went up to his room as Kensi and Deeks went into the living room.
"What do you think happened?" Kensi asked as she sat on the sofa, a look of concern on her face.
"I have no idea," Deeks said with a shrug. "Maybe he ran into someone he didn't like?"
Kensi nodded slowly. "Maybe…Although he did start acting weird when we first went over to the ferris wheel…"
"Yeah…I don't know Kens…I don't think speculation will help. Unless he decides to talk to us about it, which I doubt is going to happen, I don't think we're going to be getting any answers."
"I think you're right," Kensi said. She leaned into Deeks and he put his arm around her. "Want to watch a movie or something?" she asked.
"Yeah, sure." He picked up the remote control from the coffee table and turned on the television as they both tried to distract themselves from their unhappy friend upstairs.
xxxxx
Callen sat on his bed with a sigh. He knew he had acted like a jerk on the way home. Deeks had gone out of his way to make a nice afternoon for the three of them and he had ruined it. He wasn't sure exactly why he was so affected by the memory. It wasn't really all that terrible in itself, but the fact that it had ended so abruptly, when there had obviously been more to it, was the part that really bothered him. The fact that there was another part of his childhood he had blocked out, made him wonder if there was even more that he couldn't remember. It made him feel very uneasy and somehow incomplete. He picked up his laptop and turned it on, then began the tedious process of trying to find someone who could maybe help him. After about an hour, he still had made no headway. There were just so many psychologists and they were all beginning to sound the same. Exhausted, he closed the laptop, stretched out on the bed and fell asleep.
xxxxx
"You feel like eating anything?" Deeks asked Kensi. "It's almost 6." They were partly through what he found to be a very boring movie. At least preparing food would give him something to do other than watch it.
Kensi shrugged sleepily. "I don't know…I'm not really hungry."
"Yeah, me either," Deeks admitted. "Guess that's what happens when you eat ice cream cones late in the day."
"Hmm…I guess…especially three scoop ice cream cones." She shifted her position and yawned. "Do you like this movie?"
"Considering I'm sort of hoping every character in it gets killed, I'm guessing the answer is no," Deeks replied with a grin.
Kensi smiled and picked up the remote control then turned the channel. "Let's find something else to watch."
"Something funny would be good. I could use a laugh."
Kensi nodded and started to scroll through the channels, but nothing really appealed to either of them. Finally she just turned the television off. She rested her head on Deeks' chest as he absently started to play with her hair. "Do you think you should check on him?' she finally asked.
"I'd like to," Deeks said, "but I'm not going to."
"Why not?"
He shook his head. "It's not going to help anything. Most likely, it'll just piss him off and I don't want to do that. I'm going to leave him alone for the time being. He knows where we are if he wants company or wants to talk."
"You're probably right," Kensi said. "I just can't help but worry about him sometimes. He just gets this lost look in his eyes that makes me feel really sad for him and I want to help him feel better."
"I think it's just going to take time, Kens," Deeks said quietly. "It really hasn't been very long. Whatever is eating at him…it's not just going to disappear overnight…He needs to take the proper steps to help his recovery. We can't do it for him."
"I know," Kensi said, sighing softly. "I just wish it was easier. I want him to be able to put this behind him and get on with his life."
"Me too, baby….Me too..."
xxxxx
Callen awoke after about an hour with his heart pounding and a strong feeling of dread. He had no idea what he had been dreaming about or why he felt the way he did. "You need to get yourself together," he whispered to himself. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was 6 o'clock. It would be nine in D.C. He picked up his cell phone and thought about calling Gibbs, but wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to do it right then. He played with his phone and was in the process of passing it from one hand to the other, when it suddenly rang, causing him to start slightly. Gibbs' name came up on the display. He stared at the letters for a few seconds then clicked on the phone and put it up to his ear. "Hey Gibbs," he said. "I was just about to call you…"
"Really Callen?" Gibbs' familiar voice came over the phone. "Somehow I don't really believe that. How are you? I get back from an overseas trip and find you've been in all kinds of trouble."
"I'm good," Callen said. "How are you doing?"
"Everything's fine with me. Hetty kind of gave me the impression things weren't so good with you though," Gibbs said, concern evident in his voice.
"Oh? Well, you know Hetty," Callen said with a laugh that sounded false even to his own ears. "She's always making something out of nothing." The hitch in Callen's voice belied his words though and he knew he was dangerously close to losing it.
"Come on, Callen…I know we don't see other that often, but I've known you for a long time…"
Callen swallowed hard, not saying anything. He was mortified to find tears welling in his eyes and was grateful Gibbs wasn't there in person.
"You there?"
"Yeah," he answered gruffly, blinking his eyes quickly then swiping them with the back of his hand. "I'm here. I'm good."
"Come on…talk to me…"
"I just…" He had no idea why Gibbs' phone call was causing him to unravel this way.
"You're scaring me…Do you need me to go out there?"
"What? No." Gibbs' offer helped Callen get himself back into some semblance of control. "I don't. I'm fine, Gibbs. I just…I just have some stuff I need to work through, that's all…"
"Someone helping you work through this stuff?" Gibbs asked.
More silence, then finally Callen spoke quietly. "Working on it."
"No offense, but from the sounds of you, you need to work on it a little bit faster."
"Not that easy."
"Hey…you don't have to tell me. You know how I feel about shrinks, but sometimes it's the only way."
"I'm trying to find somebody. Nate…it's not going to work out with him. Like I said…I'm working on it."
"Maybe I can help."
"You a shrink now, Gibbs?" Callen asked, this time with a legitimate chuckle.
"No, but I may know someone who could help you."
"You're forgetting we're on opposite coasts."
"I'm not forgetting. I just think it's possible she would go out there."
"Kind of a long distance for a house call, Gibbs. Don't worry about it. I'm sure I'll find someone."
"She's worked with my team, Callen. She's good. You remember me talking about Kate in the past, don't you?"
"Yeah…I remember."
"Well, this is her sister, Rachel Cranston. Since she's worked with NCIS before, I'm pretty sure Leon would approve it."
"I don't know," Callen said hesitantly.
"You have any better ideas?" Gibbs asked.
Callen's silence once again spoke volumes.
"Let me see what I can do," Gibbs said. "I'll get back to you sometime tomorrow, after I speak with her, okay?"
Callen nodded to himself, feeling a modicum of relief that perhaps some of the burden was being taken off his shoulders. "Yeah…okay, thanks, Gibbs."
"You take care of yourself, get some rest."
"I will, thanks again...good night."
"Good night, Callen."
