Alexis smelled him everywhere. Underneath her, around her, on the sheets and on the pillows. Allowed to return to his room now that he was showing great signs of recovery, Airaih requested that she join him there. It was the first time she had ever been there. The first time she slept in his bed, or at least tried to.
His room was more ornamental than she would have expected, definitely masculine, had an openness to it and beautiful full windows. She blushed when she found the collection of her hair ties on his dresser that she thought she had lost. Felt astonished when she noticed the sketch of her profile on a canvas on a low bookshelf, which he had explained that a local artist had drawn from an obviously detailed description of her.
When he had made motions of preparing for bed was when he invited her to stay. Handing her one of his night shirts, he requested that she allow him to watch her change. Alexis did. He didn't touch her during or after, his fingers clenching the soft duvet underneath his otherwise still form. But his eyes followed her every move, wandering along her bared stomach and uncovered skin. They both knew that he had to be careful. The doctor made it quite clear that physical activity of any sort was not permitted. After she changed, Alexis helped him. His eyes remained on her the entire time. Airaih watched her sharply, making breathing a task she had to remind herself to perform, making her curse the multiple buttons on his silken nightshirt.
"You can't sleep?" Airaih asked her, his velvety tone drifting toward her in the dark.
"This is strange."
She felt him shift on the bed, his breath quickening from the obvious strain. Alexis turned around to face him, not wanting for him to hurt himself further.
He was as wide awake as she was.
Alexis looked at him in the dark. The moonlight from the open windows drifted through the half-closed curtains. His scarlet skinned face appeared hale, the patterns of his naturally tattooed flesh drawing her attention with their delicate but exquisite lines.
"It's only a bedroom."
"It's only your bed."
His brows lifted and his mouth tightened. "We have shared several different beds, Alexis. Including the one in the medical lab."
She smiled, easing away the strain from his confusion. "I know. But this is different. It's like being surrounded, well, by you."
"And this is strange?" he asked of her. The timbre of his words was unintentionally beguiling, making a path of desire feather across her skin.
Airaih wrapped his hand around her own. His thumb caressed her pulse point.
Shivering, Alexis distracted herself with a question. "How come you didn't bring me here sooner?"
"It's not permitted."
"Then why am I here now?"
He sighed. "Because I find any rules or regulations that separate you and me quite tedious, and I tire of the emotional limitations of my people that try to justify the purification of one's mind at the expense of more important things."
"Like?"
"Like you, Zsar'inay."
His mouth curved delicately upwards. Alexis flushed.
"If you never met me..."
"If I never met you, I would still be on the fighting barge."
Alexis already knew about his life growing up, his studying and training and constant learning that began at a very young age. About his father and his two brothers, the difficulties of being the youngest male child and the further responsibilities that came when conflict came between Airaih's elder brothers. She enjoyed learning things about him.
"You never told me why you were there. I mean, I figure that being there is a great place to learn a lot of different styles of fighting from a lot of different species all at once, but it's so far from your home."
He was silent for several long moments, his analyzing gaze brushing over her with admiration. "You are very perceptive, are you not? While there was the appeal of leaving my planet, I was also there for exactly those reasons. Dull, I know, but the truth." His touch on her hand drifted away, returning when he tangled his fingers in her own before lifting both up to drift over his cheek, then his mouth before lowering both back to the small space between them. "You will permit me a question?"
Alexis nodded her head, gulping hard from the sudden seriousness in his tone, or maybe the warmth from his heated skin, perhaps both.
His yellow eyes glimmered in the shadows, giving him an enigmatic quality that was appealing. "When we first met, I reminded you of someone, an Autobot perhaps? Someone you were close to, someone that hurt you?"
Alexis' body involuntarily tensed, and this time when she had difficulty swallowing she knew the reason.
"Why ask me now?" Alexis asked, hating that she sounded breathless and nervous. "I thought that you, that is to say, you didn't seem interested."
"I'm interested in you. And as such, I crave anything that has to do with you or that involved you. I didn't ask such questions before because it was not in my right to do so. If you still do not feel comfortable sharing such things with me, I will understand."
Alexis opened her mouth and then shut it. She hadn't thought of Thundercracker in a long while nor talked about him with anyone outside Josh. Airaih watched her closely. He looked conflicted, as if he wanted to press further.
"I lied, Alexis," Airaih said softly. "Whatever this is, you have held onto it for a while. And I don't want to see you..."
"Thundercracker," Alexis forced out. She knew then that she didn't want to hide anything from Airaih, that she would answer anything he asked, no matter how difficult. She trusted him, a revelation that warmed her heart and eased the discomfort.
Airaih's brows pinched and he frowned tightly.
"A Decepticon Seeker?" His fingers tightened protectively around her hand, his utterance taking on the form of a curse.
"How did you know it concerned a Cybertronian?"
With the tensity of his thoughts, it took him several long moments before he could focus on her. Blinking several times slowly, breathing in and out, he answered, "The holo-disrupter that you tried on me. Obvious, really."
He put his other hand behind her back, getting her to scoot closer. She made sure not to press against his chest, but needed to put her leg over his thigh to allow for a more comfortable position. Alexis hated that she could still feel awkward around him. It wasn't as if she hadn't been pressed against him before and without clothes.
"Tell me what happened," he whispered gently.
"That would take a while."
"I am willing to listen, if you are willing to divulge."
Sighing, she lowered her head, giving herself a moment to gather the necessary strength. But when Airaih squeezed her hand and then brushed his knuckles against her forehead, she found all the strength she needed.
"I was his slave," Alexis began. "But what was worse than that was when he deceived me, when he made me believe he was a friend."
Several days passed. Every day that went by, Alexis saw Airaih get more healthy. His skin color was turning back to its normal hue, he didn't grimace as much or even need as much pain medicine. He insisted that she stay in his room. But if he hadn't, she would have.
The doctor visited at least twice a day to make sure his instructions were followed. A younger, easier to get along with physician took his place soon after.
She and Airaih talked a lot during the passing days. So many personal things were shared and admitted. With his renewal of strength, his focus on her had changed. It was precise and dangerous and made her shiver and her heart quake in her chest.
Catching him staring at her again, she closed the book she had been trying to read and scowled at him gently. After sharing about what had happened to her on Earth, and so many other things she never meant to say, she felt more bold around him, more inclined to speak her mind. That didn't stop the heat from rushing to her face when she spoke.
"You said you wouldn't want me outside your heat cycle."
He gave her an indulgent lifting of his mouth. His eyes sparkled. "Actually, I said we wouldn't physically join outside my thedze cycle. We wouldn't have, if you didn't show such interest toward me." Noticing her embarrassed expression, he added to what he just said, clarifying things. "Me wanting you, Alexis, was never a question. I told you, I knew I wanted you when I scented you on the fighting barge."
"You said you knew we were compatible from my scent, not that you wanted me."
"Semantics. I didn't want to frighten you."
"Frighten me?" she echoed.
He tilted his head to the side, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. "You obviously had intimacy issues. If I spoke the truth, you wouldn't have come with me."
"Being wanted isn't a terrible thing."
"Back then, to you, it was."
Alexis thought back to how Sunstreaker had treated her in his suppose want of her. She knew Airaih spoke the truth.
"You didn't just choose me so I would provide you with children," she stated, suddenly wanting him to say it himself.
"I chose you because of what you do to me here," he lightly touched his chest where his hearts were. He stood up and confused her when he cleared the bookcase of everything that was on the top. Walking over to her and bending down, he brought Alexis to her feet. The book tumbled out of her lap. He backed her up against the short bookcase that he had just cleared. Tilting his head down and then up in a silent command, he let her know where he wanted her.
She didn't move despite the pressurized feeling the room suddenly had, the trembling in her knees, the way his breathing increased into something provocative and promising. She felt the heat of his body, smelled the scent of him, rich and tangy.
"Airaih, I don't think that..." Alexis began.
He halted her protests when he kissed her slowly, gently, the contact soft and hot and tantalizingly delicious. Airaih pulled back, a wicked sort of gleam in his eyes causing her breath to freeze. When he spoke, his voice was a rasp of seductive breath, "Would you like me to explain in careful detail how I plan to take you, Alexis, while ensuring that no further injury occurs? The doctor means well and good, but I will not go another day of having you in my personal chambers without having rocked you." He brought his mouth to her ear, whispering softly, telling her of the things he was desperate to scent and taste.
Alexis bit her lip, trying to think of a good excuse. She left him, went to the door and locked it. She returned.
"You will tell me if I hurt you?" she asked softly, the trembling in her heart affecting the cadence of her question, heat tainting her cheeks when the gleam returned to his eyes in force.
"I am going to be terribly gentle, Alexis. Thoroughly slow. You may despise me before we are though, but I must try to follow the doctor's orders, and not rush anything."
His ears tinted that beautiful purple when she began to remove his shirt, when she gently, carefully, touched near the marred areas of flesh where the barbs had cut into his flesh. Alexis' eyes filled with liquid and rolled down her face. Before she could wipe them away, Airaih leaned in and kissed each tear away.
"I'm very much alive, Alexis," he told her as if reading her mind.
Soon enough, she was where he wanted her, their bodies moving slowly, their breaths mingling, their fingers entwining. Catching her ankle and pulling her right leg behind his back, he brought them closer. His eyes were tightly shut, allowing her to observe him. Watching his movements kept her spellbound and flustered, the heat of his body kept her fixated. He was beautiful, felt so incredibly good, but she had to focus, had to make sure that she didn't hurt him, which was making things...
"Alexis, trust me," he spoke to her with breathless words. "Your worrying is distracting." He opened one of his eyes, pushing against her firmly to get her further attention. She moaned and her fingers tightened brutally against his own.
"Yes, those sounds of yours. I. Want. That," he barely articulated, not missing a beat between their meeting bodies.
"You do... feel me?"
"Yes," he hissed.
"You... enjoy this?"
He didn't answer her with words.
"I believe you are fond of my planet, are you not?" Airaih asked her from across the table they sat at.
They had just been served their food, trifin soup and just baked bread, a salad of some sort and a red liquid that tickled her tongue. For such carefully reserved people, they enjoyed incredibly tasty food. Something she would have never expected but had already grown to love. They didn't have much meat on the menus, but she really didn't notice.
"It's where you are."
He stopped chewing on the piece of bread he had just placed in his mouth. It took him a moment to speak again.
"As soon as I am able, Alexis. I am going to take you to places you have never dreamed of. Star systems that aren't even on your human charts, planets that are so full of raw energy that it can be used to power things light years away. Moons that are inhabited by the gentlest of animals that have just reached sentience. Burnt out stars that hold the most exclusive hotels, the most delectable restaurants. And I know you enjoy music. There is a planet not far from here that has been terraformed to produce the most enticing sounds imaginable. I am going to clothe you in the finest..."
"Airaih."
"Yes?"
"I didn't know you could speak so much." She shrugged her shoulders. "At least not all at once."
With the subtle but very readable flummoxed expression that graced his face, Alexis burst out into a fit of laughter. She almost fell out of her chair when he joined right in.
"Alexis?"
"Huh?"
Nudged awake, she felt Airaih's hands on her stomach, his fingers rubbing her gently.
"I care about you."
"I know."
"I cherish you. If something should happen to me..."
"Nothing is going to happen to you."
"If something does, I want you to..."
Alexis covered his mouth with her hand and shook her head, then carefully pulled his arms around her body in a secure hold.
"Please, don't finish that sentence."
He didn't.
Leaving to get a change of clothes, she was halfway back to their room when a fierce, terrible pain shot through her leg. Her eyes watering and her heart pounding, she felt her veins stretch, her blood burn. Alexis leaned heavily against the nearest wall and lifted her pant's leg up. Dark terrible vein like strings stretched and grew under her skin, traveling from where the poisonous dart had been. Fear gripped her, but not for herself. And when the pain increased, taking her breath with it, Alexis had just enough time to lower herself to the floor before darkness swallowed her whole.
If Alexis knew what reality was waiting for her when she regained consciousness, perhaps, just maybe, she would have decided never to wake again.
Finding herself on a cot in the medical bay, her pants cut cleanly off her right leg, some sort of terrible looking brace there, she panicked, would have panicked further if she didn't catch the sight of Sharaih, her unmovable niece, crying. And then, right that moment, she knew.
No, she didn't panic at all, just screamed his name over and over until her raw throat forced her to weep instead.
He was warm against her back. His hand wrapped firmly around her waist, his legs tangled with her own. She felt his breath against her neck, slow and steady. She should have wakened him up and moved him back. But she couldn't bring herself to move. Instead, she closed her eyes and drifted off into the most peaceful slumber.
Alexis' eyes shot open. Her hands moved frantically behind her. She found no one. She felt nothing. She was alone. Not even on Renth, but an Autobot shuttle, the barely perceptible feeling of motion underneath her body from the moving craft.
She had only been dreaming, her most recent memories replaying inside her subconscious. Curling into a tight ball, firmly stifling the sob that caught in her throat, Alexis reached for the sleeping pills resting next to her on the bed.
Shut down. Break away. Close off. That's what she desired. That's what Alexis felt she deserved. But if anything, since the death of her husband, she felt more sensitive to the going ons around her, felt everything happening and revolving and sounding off. She wanted silence. Wanted... cutting herself off from her racing thoughts when Sharaih grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her back, she watched Josh walk away to join Sunstreaker outside the landing bay. Something was said that had her brother's shoulders sharpening and pinching. He turned around and rushed back toward her as if to warn her away.
Too late though.
And when she saw Thundercracker and then Starscream round about a corner on the Autobot's ship, she kept on walking, walked right through the Seekers and didn't stop until she was inside her new quarters slumped down on the floor feeling defeated and entirely drained. Alexis' door chime sounded off as someone tried to get through to her.
Nothing though, could reach her then.
