Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of its characters.
Author's Note: There is no real action in this chapter. It's just a filler that takes place three weeks after the last chapter. I kind of suck at writing hospital scenes… Oh well…
Overdose of Pain, Onslaught of Reality
Chapter 49
Nathan walked into Lucas's hospital room, hand-in-hand with Haley. Over the three weeks since the bar fire, they had grown even closer. Nathan hadn't realized just how much he had missed Haley until they got back together.
Lucas had been moved out of ICU and into a regular hospital room the week before. He still had a little over two weeks left in the hospital before he was going to be released, but he didn't seem to mind. Neither did Peyton, for that matter. She had never left Lucas's side once since he woke up after the lung surgery.
"Hey, man," Nathan greeted Lucas as he entered the room. Peyton was giggling about something Lucas had just said moments before Haley and Nathan walked in.
"Hey," Lucas replied, a smile visible on his face. It was a rare occurrence. Lucas had been pretty upset about not being able to remember any of the accident or what happened before, but with the help of Peyton, he was slowly getting over it.
"How's it going?" Nathan asked, walking over with Haley and sitting on Lucas's other side opposite of Peyton.
"Painful," Lucas said, grimacing. He had been subjected to an hour of physical therapy for the past week and a half. The doctors were worried that he might not get motion back in his elbow if he didn't work it. It had to be completely rebuilt using pins, screws, and plates.
"You know what they say, though," Nathan said, smirking. "No pain, no game."
"God, don't mention basketball," Lucas said, groaning.
Peyton and Haley were both smiling at the brotherly interaction. Even before the accident, Lucas hadn't been this outgoing. It was definitely a welcome change.
"Still no answer on when you're going to be back, huh?" Nathan asked sympathetically. Lucas shook his head, outwardly wincing as he did so.
"I really shouldn't do that," he muttered, taking his uninjured hand and touching the spot where had stitches. It was one of his many injuries that were slow to heal.
"You okay?" Peyton asked, the worry obvious in her voice. Lucas looked over at her and smiled reassuringly.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he promised. Changing the subject, he added, "Anyone heard from Keith lately?"
Keith had decided to go back to Virginia a week ago, after deciding that Lucas would be all right from then on. Unfortunately, no one had heard from him since.
"Nope, not a word," Haley said apologetically. Lucas merely shrugged.
"Brooke stopped by the apartment earlier," Nathan said. Lucas looked over at him, interested. "She said that Ryan was released from jail on bail. A trail date has yet to be set."
"I doubt I'll be much help," Lucas muttered darkly, looking away from everyone. "I can't remember anything about the accident."
"Oh, push off," Haley said, an annoyed not entering her voice. "Nathan and Peyton were there. They remember the accident."
"Yeah, shooting someone will definitely land them in jail for a long while," Nathan agreed readily.
Lucas winced and touched his side where he had been shot. Every time someone talked about the accident, it throbbed painfully. He figured it always would.
"Can we not talk about this please?" he asked, wanting to move away from the subject of Ryan and the accident altogether. "What's going on in school?"
"You've missed two basketball games that we won easily," Nathan said. Seeing the downcast look on Lucas's face, he added quickly, "We could have really used you on D though. It sucked without you."
Lucas shrugged again, not willing to say anything.
"We're doing a project on Shakespearean plays in English," Haley said, knowing that any other subject would probably be harmful to Lucas right now. "I'm your partner, so I can help you with anything you want."
"We're doing a lab in chemistry," Peyton added. Lucas glanced at her, smiling slightly. He did that every time she talked. "You can borrow my notes when you get back. We could even study together."
She was being way too cheerful and both Nathan and Haley knew why. She was trying her hardest to make up for breaking up with him and making the deal with Ryan in the first place. Still, Lucas seemed unsuspecting and if anything, seemed to like this version of Peyton.
"I'd like that," Lucas said softly.
Nathan could tell that Lucas was getting towards the end of his string when it came to having more than Peyton in the room. This happened often; Lucas would start talking really quietly and seem disinterested before asking them politely to leave. The only person he allowed to stay with him all through visiting hours was Peyton.
"I think we should go," Nathan announced.
Lucas looked over at him and smiled gratefully. There was a hidden meaning to that smile too, one that only a brother could understand. Nathan had told Lucas about his plans to take Haley out on their first official date since getting back together tonight as a celebration. He was going to be taking her to the café both Lucas and Peyton highly recommended and then go on a romantic moonlit walk with her. Haley had no idea about the plans; Nathan had yet to inform her about them.
"I'll call you later," Peyton promised Haley, who was giving Lucas a gentle hug.
The petite brunette nodded, before giving Peyton a hug as well.
"I'll stop by before school tomorrow and pick you up," she said. "I'll bring you a change of clothes as well."
"Thanks Hales," Peyton said, smiling at the other girl.
Haley had been the most supportive of everyone during the past few weeks. She had been the only one willing enough to go to school and so she tutored all of them (with the exception of Lucas) so they wouldn't get too far behind. She had also brought all the assignments to Peyton so she could stay at the hospital with Lucas instead of going to school. Haley and Nathan had switched off driving Peyton from the hospital to school in the mornings when the two friends decided to actually go back.
"Hales?" Lucas questioned, instantly getting three pairs of eyes on him. Haley looked at him questioningly.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" he asked. Haley was shocked. Lucas hadn't asked to speak to anyone except Peyton alone for the past three weeks.
"Yeah, sure," she agreed readily. Nathan exchanged glances with Peyton before walking out of the room.
"So what do you think Lucas wants?" Nathan asked conversationally as Peyton took a seat in one of the hospital chairs outside the room.
"He probably wants to talk to his best friend," Peyton said grumpily. She had turned into a grouch whenever she wasn't around Lucas nowadays. Nathan didn't take it personally; it was just his friend's way of dealing with things.
"What about you?" Nathan asked, hoping to trick the blonde girl into opening up to him for once.
"What about me?" Peyton nearly growled. "I'm fine."
"Excuse me for asking," he said, throwing up his hands. "I was only trying to help."
"I don't need your help," she snapped. Sighing and leaning her head against the wall, Peyton added, "Sorry. I'm just really tired. I haven't been able to sleep for the past three weeks."
"If you want, you could always leave the hospital for a night. I'm sure Lucas would understand," Nathan suggested. Peyton shook her head.
"It's hard enough leaving him to go to school. There's no way I would be able to go home," she said. "If anything else were to happen to him, I don't know what I would do."
"I understand, Peyton," Nathan said honestly. He felt the same way. In fact, he would have gladly stayed at the hospital every night with his brother, if Haley had persuaded him to go home and sleep. It helped that she was around. Otherwise, Nathan might have driven himself to the point of insanity a long time ago.
"Do you think anything is ever going to be the same after this?" Peyton asked softly. Nathan looked at her, trying to judge what she meant. Her face was sad and lonely.
"No," Nathan said, sighing heavily. "Nothing is ever going to be the same."
"I was afraid of that," Peyton said, taking a deep breath.
"But some things are going to be for the better," he said quickly. "Ryan won't be around and Dan's dead…"
He trailed off, not knowing what to say. Usually, conversation stopped immediately whenever Dan's name was so much as mentioned in passing.
"How are you dealing with that?" Peyton asked softly, sensing his hesitation to go on.
"I thought it was me trying to make you feel better," he teased, hiding his true feelings. He was confused more than anything, as well as sad and angry at the same time. Nathan also knew that Dan had something to with Lucas's stay in the hospital. There was no other reason for him to be at the bar during the fire.
"Hey, I'm just here to help," Peyton said, throwing up her hands. They both smiled at each other, but the smiles were sad and didn't reach either person's eyes. An uncomfortable silence fell between them as they ran out of things to say.
Haley sat down in the chair where Peyton usually sat, looking intently at Lucas. Whatever he was going to say, she sensed it was going to be important.
"How was Jimmy's funeral?" he asked quietly.
Haley could see the guilt in her friend's face for missing the funeral.
"It was quiet," she said honestly. "Only Mrs. Edwards, Nathan, me, and Skills showed up. Mrs. Edwards sends her regards, by the way."
"I'm going to go to the cemetery once I get out of here," Lucas said softly, using his good hand and motioning around the room. "I think it's time."
"I think that's a really good idea, Luke," Haley said honestly. She knew how long Peyton had been trying to get him to go to the cemetery to visit his mother. Each time he had vehemently refused.
"How's Brooke holding up?" Lucas asked, changing the subject away from the discussion of the cemetery.
"Not good," Haley admitted. "She locked herself up in her hotel room and won't come out. I've gone over there to visit her twice already and she won't come out."
"It's not her fault that I'm here," Lucas said, his voice angry. He knew Brooke well enough to know why she was shutting everyone out.
"Try telling her that," Haley muttered. "I swear it's like talking to a brick wall sometimes when I'm around her."
"Did you never tell her about Ryan?" Lucas asked, already knowing the answer. He had asked this three times before.
"I did once," Haley admitted. "But I never got around to describing him."
"There must have been a halfway decent guy underneath all that crap he put up if Brooke fell for him," Lucas said, his voice strangely tortured.
"Luke, what's wrong?"
"I've been having these nightmares every night, Haley, for the past few weeks," he began. "It's always the same one, really. It's dark and rainy outside and there's someone talking to me on the inside."
"What happens?" Haley asked, her breath catching in her throat. She knew exactly what these nightmares were about. Lucas's subconscious was remembering the accident… sort of.
"I don't know," he admitted. "It's too dark to see anything."
Haley nodded, not knowing what to say. This was Peyton's area of expertise when it came to Lucas.
Lucas let out a huge yawn and blinked hard once. Haley took that as her sign to go.
"I should get to school," she said, kissing Lucas on his forehead. "I'll stop by later."
"Is Peyton staying?" Lucas asked, fighting another yawn. Haley nodded.
"I'll send her in," she said. Lucas smiled slightly and closed his eyes as Haley left the room.
Outside, Haley found Nathan and Peyton staring moodily at each other without much conversation going on.
"Hey," Peyton said, standing up. The look on her face changed to one of instant relief and Haley instantly felt a wave of jealousy. If this had happened before Karen had died, it would have been Haley, not Peyton, who was comforting Lucas right now.
"Lucas wants to see you," Haley said shortly, trying to contain how she felt out of her voice. She really wanted to get out of here.
"Okay," Peyton said, sending a sympathetic smile towards her. "I'll let you two go to school. Thanks for everything, guys."
"No problem," Nathan said hastily, also standing up. He walked over and wrapped one arm around Haley's waist. "We'll see you this afternoon, Sawyer."
"Bye," Peyton said, before turning and going through the hospital room's door and disappearing out of sight.
Haley turned to Nathan, instantly feeling guilty about the feelings she had towards Peyton.
"Am I a bad person?" she whispered.
Nathan looked at her, confused.
"What do you mean, Hales?" he asked.
"When I told Peyton that Lucas wanted to see her, I felt extremely jealous," she admitted. She was close to tears now. "And I feel really guilty because its not Peyton's fault."
"It's okay, Haley," Nathan said soothingly, pulling Haley so her face was now against his shoulder. "I always feel slightly jealous of you and Lucas because you guys are so close."
"You don't need to," Haley chided, laughing a bit through her tears. "We're only friends."
"I know that," Nathan said. Haley could hear the smile in his voice. "But I'm still jealous of that."
Haley sighed, leaning against Nathan.
"Are you ready for the big basketball game tonight?" she asked teasingly.
Tonight was the Ravens' first away game against the Pickerington Pirates. The opposing team was pretty much a huge joke when it came to playing the Ravens' specially tonight when it seemed that the entire school was rooting for Nathan because of the bar fight. Though no one really knew the entire story, there were plenty of rumors around the school that were startling close to what had actually happened that night three weeks ago.
"Hell yeah!" Nathan said enthusiastically, nodding his head. "I can't wait!"
Without any further prodding, Nathan launched into a heated explanation about what he hoped was going to happen and what was actually probably going to happen at that night's game. Haley knew him well enough to know when to nod and smile and when to comment appropriately.
Haley wrapped an arm around her boyfriend's waist and helped keep the conversation flowing as they walked towards the car to go to school.
Peyton sat down next to Lucas, who was dozing off into a half-slumber. Peyton always hated this time of day, when Nathan and Haley had left for school and she had decided to take the day off for Lucas. He always fell asleep right after they left, leaving her to her own thoughts. That was exactly what she was trying to avoid. She didn't want to think about the fight or what had caused it. She ended up giving herself nightmares for days afterwards if she did.
"Peyton, what's wrong?" Lucas asked, his eyes still closed. A small smile tugged at Peyton's lips as she responded,
"How did you know something's wrong? You haven't even opened your eyes!"
"I know you too well," he said softly, opening his eyes. Peyton noticed how tired he looked, but decided not to say anything about it. "You don't have to do this, you know. I have physical therapy in an hour and then will probably spend the rest of the time sleeping."
"I want to," she said, knowing it was the truth. "I haven't really been able to spend much time with you."
"Except for those fourteen days you refused to leave my side when I was in ICU, the four days a week when you're not in school and on weekends," Lucas listed off, smiling. Peyton smiled as well, guiltily.
"I just worry about you too much when I'm not with you," she said, leaning forward and taking his uninjured hand. She squeezed it gently.
"I worry about you too when you're not here," he admitted, looking at her with wide serious blue eyes.
"What about?"
"That Ryan is going to get out of jail," Lucas said hesitantly. "And that he's going to use you to get back at me. I could seriously care less what he does to me, but if he does anything to you… I love you too much for that, Peyton."
"I love you too," Peyton said, sighing heavily. Lucas caught it.
"What's up?"
"I was just thinking," she began. It was her turn to talk hesitantly.
"About?" Lucas prodded. He removed his hand from hers and propped himself up on his pillows. Peyton tried to protest, knowing he could pop one of his several stitches if he did anything too strenuous, but he was already sitting up.
"Wow, I didn't know you could do that," she said, impressed. Him moving was a huge improvement over what he had been able to do, which in reality wasn't that much.
"We're not talking about me, though," Lucas said, taking her hand again. Peyton felt the familiar shock of electricity go through her as she did every time he touched her.
"I know," she said softly. "But I know you would feel really upset about what I'm thinking about and I really don't want you to have to deal with that."
"Peyton, I'm not an invalid. I can make decisions for myself about what I want and don't want to hear," Lucas said firmly. "Now, will you please tell me what's up?"
"I was thinking about the day of the accident," Peyton said, watching his face. He seemed to have frozen his concerned expression, not allowing any emotion to seep through his mask.
"And?" he asked, his voice careful. Peyton was cautious to go on. She didn't want to make Lucas even more upset than he already was, but on the other hand, she knew that not saying anything would just make it worse.
"I did something I wasn't proud of that day, Luke. And now every time I see you, it bites me in the ass," she admitted.
"It's okay, Peyton," Lucas said after a moment's pause. "I don't blame you for any of it."
"I- wait, what?"
"I said, I don't blame you for any of it," he said.
Peyton looked at him in surprise.
"Define, 'any of it'," she begged.
"You broke up with me that morning," Lucas said, his voice slow and careful, as though he were struggling to remember. Peyton knew he was.
"And?" she asked, her voice breathless.
Lucas was quiet for a minute.
"I can't remember," he said softly. He looked away from her and stared listlessly at the walls. "What do you think it means?"
"I think it means you're starting to remember," Peyton said.
Cliffy again! And fifth update in three days! Wow… you guys are lucky. I wish some of you would update like that… hehe… just kidding.
Read and review!!
