Hello Hello!

So first off I want to give a shout out to icalyn not only for her Dixie Chicks song suggestion,but her help with last weeks computer issues... Thank you!

Also, I have started a new story, Fifty Shades in Fifty Ways... Check it out and follow...

I took some advice from Lala Loopsie and made some changes to the summary and removed the first chapter a/n in the hope that more peopel will start reading... fingers crossed...

Thank you all of your PM's and reviews... I am caught up now and moving forward with my responses...

I hope you like this chapter, its a bit lighter... trying to find the balance between the darkness and the light...


We were all huddled in the living room, bellies full of pasta and chicken parm. The chesterfield sofas were covered in a taupe linen, with brushed silver nail heads, the tongue and groove paneling that lined the walls was white washed and the ceiling was pained a pale blue. It was a beachy, and light and airy and comfortable. You could tell that Tracy was a successful designer, it showed in the smallest details of her home. Their iPod was on shuffle, playing a random mix of Dave Matthews, John Mayer, Van Morrison... We were drinking the second bottle of wine. It was easy, and relaxed. We talked about everything and nothing and I could see the Christmas dinners and birthdays and summer vacations stretched out before us.

"Come on husband. Lets go put on some coffee. I want to eat some of those cookies." Charlie pulled Tracy off the sofa and they slowly danced their way to the kitchen.

"So..." Will made this Zoolander like face, his expression a question mark.

"They are amazing... totally and completely amazing. You are very lucky..."

"That I am Amy... that I am..." He pulled me in close and gave me a gentle whisper of a kiss.

They didn't have you where I come from… Never knew the best was yet to come… Life began when I saw your face…

The words hit me, all at once… Life began when I saw your face… Will was the reason I felt hope, the reason I felt like a life was possible and that all began the moment I saw him. But I didn't believe it until now, this very moment.

And I hear your laugh like a serenade…

"Come dance with me... Will…don't look at me like that come on... one dance I love this song." I stood first, yanking him off the sofa and then in one motion he had me in his arms and we were moving to the music together.

How long do you want to be loved… Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved….

"I never thought I would get here Will... I never saw all of this... I wanted it but I never thought it would actually happen."

Is forever enough…Cause I'm never, never giving you up

"Well we are here baby...I knew we would be..." I laid my head on his chest, his hands linking at the small of my back.

"I feel like everything that has happened… every line you did… every scar I have…"

"Got us here, now…"

I slip in bed when you're asleep…To hold you close and feel your breath on me…
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

"And I wouldn't change a thing… I know that sounds crazy…" It was something I had been spending a lot of time thinking about. The raod that brought me to Will, all the choices and decisions that I had made. Looking at each one of they under a microscope, seeing how they fit, how they grew and how I got here. Realizing quickly that one small change in one way or the other and Will might have never made his way into my life, and more importantly into my heart.

"No baby, it doesn't… I feel the same way…" He pressed his lips to my forehead, and then to my nose and then finally my lips. I could smell the sweet scent of wine, as his grasp tightened. My hands reaching up to his face, kissing him. No thought to time or place, no worries or fears, no pain, no regrets. His mouth on mine, each movement holding the weight of the emotion behind it, every breath, every touch of his hands making small circles on the small of my bare back. I was consumed but not overtaken. I was held but not held down. I was wanted but not an obsession.

As you wander through this troubled world…In search of all things beautiful…You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade…

"Ummm excuse me…" Charlie cleared his throat, loudly. 'I hate to break this up gross and unbearable public display of affection… but we are all out of coffee… So Tracy and I were thinking about opening up yet another bottle of wine and you guys crashing here tonight…Any objections?"

How long do you want to be loved…Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved…Is forever enough…
Cause I'm never, never giving you up…


The room was small, with coved ceilings that Will kept hitting his head on while he changed. The bed was a full, covered in a beautiful old blue and pale green quilt. I eased in to be first, just a hair under drunk, and Will climbed in next to me. The bed was so small there was no choice but for him to wrap his arm around me and rest my head on his chest. I could hear the steady beat of his heart, and the rise and fall of his breath. Mine naturally joining his.

All night despite all the good and wonderful, my mind would wander off to the five year old child asleep a few rooms away. Thoughts of a child that I should of had, would have had if things were different. When I was in the height of my mania, before I started seeing Dalton, I would spend days and hours wondering. Wondering if I had done the right thing. Wondering what the child would look like. Would it be a boy or girl. Would it have my green eyes or Simon's deep icy blue. Could I have looked into his eye, through our child for the rest of my life.

Many nights I would wake up after my suspected due date to the sound of a baby crying. Another one of the ghosts haunting me. Never thinking the possibility of having a family would ever come my way again. Never believing that I was capable of love and trust, to have the sanity and certainty to love and manage a family and now because of Will I do. I have the ability but do I have the desire?

"Penny for your thoughts?" I could feel his breath on my forehead as he spoke. As usual he was unknowingly reading my mind.

"Will do you want babies?" I could feel his intake of shocked air, and his heart quicken in his chest.

"That was not what I was expecting you to say... Like at all."

"You asked..."

"Yeah I did, didn't I..."

"Seeing you with Kira, you are a natural..." There was a long pause, I could tell he was searching his mind fo the right answer. "There is no wrong answer, just want you want or don't want."

"Yes, I want babies... If you would have asked me five years ago or even five months ago I would have said I wasn't sure, but yes I would."

"Oh."

"Amy, do you want babies?"

"Honestly if you would have asked ME five years ago or five months ago... I would have said no... but now... I am not sure..."

"Timing..."

"Is everything..."

"Well good thing for us, we don't have to decide tonight or any night in the near future..."

"It's a good thing…"


I woke up the next morning Will wrapped around me, his knees tucked behind mine and his loud but endearing snoring right in my ear. His broken nose, rearing it ugly head. I felt like I was being watched, it was an eerie feeling that I couldn't shake. I opened my eyes, and was greeted with Kira's shining happy face, eye level with mine.

"Wake up wake up Aunt Amy..." She whispered behind her two fists, pressed to her mouth, a stuffed monkey tucked under her arm.

"Good Morning..."I whispered back through a yawn.

"It's Saturday... waffle day..."

"Waffle day huh..." I could feel will stirring behind me, as he pulled me closer to him, unaware we had a visitor.

"Mommy told me not to wake you but its waffle day..." Will's lips pressed into the back of my neck, and kira made an ewww face.

"WAKE UP UNCLE WILL!" His head shot up ."Its waffle day." She jumped off the bed, leaving the patter of feet and the sent of bubblegum toothpaste.

"Ask me again Will." He thought for a second, still half asleep.

"Amy do you want babies."

"Absolutely."