Vindicated! I am selfish, I am wrong! I am right, I swear I'm right! Swear I knew it all along!

VINDICATED!

Nick was talking with Dib and Gaz as they walked down the hallway of school. They were headed for the playground…it would be Gym class soon.

"Tell me again WHY you want me to be nice to Zim? I mean, you keep saying I'm going to be his friend one day, but he's pure evil." Dib remarked.

Nick shook his head. "Look I will admit it will take quite a while. But Zim is surprisingly resilient, though sociopathic and critical. You've got common sense and genius going for you, but you've NO real people skills and you're not as technologically advanced as Zim, though close. The two of you, combined, create a super-team that has the power to spread true happiness through both worlds. "

Gaz SLOWLY, Linda-Blair-style, turned her head to look at Nick. "If you think for ONE moment that Dib and Zim could admit to being friends, I'd have to ask you what you're smoking."

"Well that's a hurtful thing to say, AND untrue, because you know I hate drugs!" Nick remarked, looking at her. "Why would you say something like THAT?"

"Because I knew you'd pay too much attention to me and then THIS would happen." Gaz remarked.

BANG! Nick collided with the doorway pole and Gaz laughed madly, walking off with Dib as Nick held his head and groaned, a large bump rising up from his forehead. "Why didn't I see that coming?!" He moaned out.

And so, soon the students were outside in the playground.

"I have shown you the horrors of war!" Coach Walrus yelled at them all, her brown, frizzy hair bobbing in the air, her large, smelly-looking tusks shining in the sunlight. "The devastation of famine! AND pictures of my birth! (That last one had been the most horrible to ALL of them) But I don't think you comprehend what awaits you in adult life!"

Dib and Zim were now in mechanical exo-suits made for the sport of "Bludgeon Ball". The suits had two large cannons held up by shoulder straps that were filled with hard plastic balls, one with a blue color scheme, one purple. Naturally Dib was blue, Zim was purple.

"To better prepare you for the inevitable character building horrors, we will now play bludgeon ball! It's fun!" Coach Walrus announced as she turned to the other children, then got out of the way.

"So, it's human against alien! Ironic I should face my enemy in this stupid barbaric game!" Dib thought to himself, eyes narrowing behind his glasses. "Let this be our battlefield!"

"…it's the size of a HIPPO, that head!" Zim thought, blinking slowly.

BWEEEE! Coach Walrus blew her whistle and Dib responded first, launching his barrage of bludgeon balls that barreled blazingly out in a burst…and how's THAT for alliteration?

The whole class watched eagerly as the balls soared towards Zim and Dib laughed…

And they soared…and soared. One kid took a bite of his sandwich and walked off to use the bathroom.

And they soared…

Doot calmly jumped rope and hummed happily.

And they soared some more!

Doot went to sleep in her bed, snoozing as she clutched a fillerbunny in her hands.

And…they soared…

"Hmm?" Zim mumbled, not understanding WHY it was taking so long for the balls to shoot out.

And…they…soared.

A fly landed on Dib's glasses and he blew it away…

And then one SOARED and STRUCK Zim clear in the head! WOW! Let's go to the instant replay, White!

"Indeed! Right HERE…" (A camera shot is shown of Zim. White holds up a marker and circles around a particular spot) "We see Zim's EXCELLENT facial expression of pain, including the bugging of the eyes which are immediately followed by a harsh stinging that goes through his facial nerves and makes him scrunch up. Now let's go to the slow-mo!"

(The camera showed a slow-motion feed) "As you can see, Dib is now grinning happily as Zim is propelled backwards at a speed of…"

(A dial is shown in the corner edge of the screen, racking up to fifty)

"FIFTY miles an hour! His suit is now being TORN apart and as you can see, one of his CONTACTS has come clean off! This is a TREMENDOUS victory for DIB!" White said, tugging on a cord that lowered a large sign down through the air that read in big, flashing lights "Victory for Dib".

And now we take you back to the playground, as Zim realized his contact had fallen out. "Hmm?"

"WOAH! Look at his eyeball!" Morla yelled as other kids looked him over.

"The eyeball of an alien invader!" Dib hissed.

"Lies! Lies!" Zim yelled, pointing angrily at Dib. "Have you never heard of... PINKEYE!?! It is a normal human illness." Zim insisted.

"Yeah, Pinky has it pretty bad right now." Zita admitted, gesturing towards Pinky Scarball, who had an eye that was so badly infected there were DOZENS of stitches oozing out on it.

Dib, however, groaned angrily. "Aw, C'MON!"

"Dib, watch it! Zim's just sick and ugly." Morla insisted as Zim put his contact back in.

"But... no pinkeye! Green skin! Red things!" Dib protested, bouncing up and down in place before falling backwards with a cry, making the Bludgeon Ball cannons shoot up into the air…and then fall back to land on HIS head. This got EVERYONE to laugh at him, most of all Zim.

"Victory for ZIM!" Zim laughed.

"Your screaming was amusing for awhile, Dib, but now you're just scary!" Coach Walrus announced as Dib got up. "Go to the counselor's office!"

Dib sighed and wandered away, groaning in pain and unhappiness as Zim cheered. "YES, I am NORMAL! So normal and ugly am I!" He insisted as the kids nodded.

Then he blinked, realizing what he'd just said. "Hey, wait a minute…"

…Dib sat inside of the guidance counselor's office, facing a man with black hair, a goatee, a red tie and a white, pocketed shirt. "Hi! I'm Mr. Dwicky, the new councilor!" Mr. Dwicky said in his comforting voice, his blue eyes flickering.

"Uh, what happened to the old councilor?, White?"

"Something…HORRIBLE!" Dwicky gulped, cowering in his seat as he bit his fingernails, looking up into the vents.

"Help... meee...." A voice gasped out.

"He got EATEN by the Vent People?" Dib gasped.

"No, he got a better job. But moving along!"

Dwicky smiled "So! You wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"…nothing." Dib mumbled, looking to the side.

Dwicky opened up a drawer and held up a huge file that said "Dib" on top. It had a police profile on the cover as well. "This file suggests otherwise." He remarked.

"It doesn't matter. Nobody believes me." Dib mumbled as the vent person breathed slowly from inside the vent…slowly and heavily. "The earth's been invaded by an alien! He goes to this skool and my own people help him by being so ignorant!" Dib groaned, shaking his head. He then pointed at Dwicky. "You can laugh now. I'm crazy and full of lies." He snapped.

Dwicky put Dib's file aside. "Actually, I always believed in aliens! But I never found any proof." He shrugged. "So I did the next best thing- I work with public skool children. They're scary too!" Dwicky admitted, cowering and shuddering in his seat again.

"I'VE got proof!" Dib insisted, taking out his laptop which he always carried with him, hidden in his jacket. It was VERY lightweight. He put it on Dwicky's desk and it showed off a rotating model of Tak's Spittle Runner. "This is an alien space ship I captured!" He said. He then pressed a button and showed off a picture of a disguised GIR dumping out the trash. "And here's Zim's robot dog taking out the garbage. I try to go through Zim's trash once a week. Mostly I just find burnt gerbils and worn down rubber piggies but still…"

Dwicky looked at the pictures, leaning on Dib's chair, which measured height. Dib was, for those of you wondering, 4 and a half feet tall, four and 10 inches if you counted his hair. Dib was only one and a half inches shorter than he was "So the dog brings out the trash!?! How can it even hold things with those nubby arms?" He asked, sounding interested.

"I KNOW!" Dib admitted. "And no one ELSE thinks it's weird! Or like how Zim doesn't have ears or how he doesn't think ponies know what we're thinking!"

Dwicky, who had gone back to his chair to sip some coffee, spewed the coffee to the side and closed Dib's laptop. "Whoa, calm down! I believe you, Dib!"

Dib blinked a few times. "You…you…" Sparkling light began to twinkle around his head. "You BELIEVE me?" He asked happily. "Wait a minute!" He frowned. "You escaped from some experiment where they hit you in the head with car doors, right?"

Dwicky looked at a personal photograph of him lying on a floor, tied up, an alligator about to chomp on his head. He laughed, ah, Summer memories…

"ALMOST! But no! I really do believe you! I even wanna help out!"

Dib beamed. "A team? REALLY? Two believers against the world! And Zim!" He added cheerfully, grabbing his laptop and running out the door…but NOT before turning around in the doorway, smiling. "If you're serious, meet me after school is out!" He insisted.

Mr. Dwicky gave him a thumbs up. "You GOT it, partner!"

Dib smiled at this, a warm, fuzzy feeling going through his body. "PARTNER…" He headed out the door as fat, coffee-drinking fellow employee of the school popped up next to Dwicky.

"Dwicky! You really believe in aliens?"

"Ha-ha! Not anymore." Dwicky admitted. "You see all the child-like wonder was ripped from my heart the day my foot got stuck in an escalator and aliens didn't come rescue me." He explained, holding up a photo that showed off his mangled right leg. It had taken MONTHS for them to grow him a new one. "Naw, I'll just humor Dib until he tells me what the real problem is."

The other teacher hurled his cup of coffee, grabbing the side of his head. "That's psycho-technical talk!" He screeched, sliding down the floor to babble on the ground.

"Indeed it is!" Dwicky said cheerfully.

MEANWHILE…

"So you're his…what?" Gaz asked as he and her played "Face Puncher 5" at the arcade, skipping the rest of school because it would have been boring. "I don't get it."

"His DIABOLICAL SELF." White explained simply. "I'm basically his darkest, most evil parts."

Gaz looked a bit incredulous. "Oh come ON." She remarked as she rapidly beat out a combo, knocking White's character on the screen back with a bloody "BA-WHOOMF". "Nick? A bad side? He's 15 years old, right? I would think he wouldn't have a lot of bad IN him."

"EXACTLY!" White laughed. "Exactly! First smart thing I've heard in a long while!" He remarked. "See, this is why you're right, because you're ALWAYS right." He laughed. "You see Gaz…" He grinned as his character jumped in the air, dodging Gaz's character's low-kick. "He once stole some money from his brother…well, more like borrowed and never returned, but still…and he was rash. And sometimes he had dreams about whacking the big floppy breasts of women like they were punching bags. That was about it." White remarked. "Everything else was accounted for, and then he got ME!"

Gaz looked interested as she grinned. "Oh, and what ABOUT you?"

"See without ME as a physical part of him, the kid's a nancy boy who's got almost no drives…and without HIM…" White grinned and pressed a button, doing a quick quarter-circle back and then pressing another button at the same time as a THIRD button, unleashing a "Hyper Combo" and making Gaz's character lose her nose, her eyeballs and most of her teeth, ending the fight. "I've got absolutely NO restraints." He added, smirking.

Gaz and Zim headed back to Gaz's house and White offered to make her some home-made pizza. Gaz was upstairs when suddenly…

CRASH!

Gaz came down, blinking. She headed down the stairs and saw…

"AAAAAA!!!" She yelled. There was a HUGE mess in the living room…a PLATE embedded in the TV. "YOU WRECKED THE TV!!!" She screamed.

"Er…" White brushed his white hair nervously back with one hand while he had a "Poop" in the other. "I was putting two plates on the table and I spilled some soda and YOUR plate just FLEW out of my hands and…er…" He put the soda down and went to the TV. "Look, the "T-Bone's" still in place!"

"GRRRRR…" Gaz began growling, her teeth gnashing.

"Wait, Gaz, hold on, I'll buy you a new one!" White said. "I know some people who know some people who robbed some people!"

"I don't want THAT…" She hissed. "I want you to swim in your guilt. I want you to roam the streets knowing that you have destroyed something of irreplaceable value to me! I want you to look into my tear-swollen eyes and see the pain that you and YOU alone have caused!"

"…uh, yeah…whatever." White mumbled.

"Then I want you to DIE!" She yelled.

"Look, Gaz, I'm sorry!" White said. NOW his eyes were widening in fear.

"SORRY!? All I can say, MR. WHITE…is that sometime in the next 6 hours I am going to wreak my vengeance against you. And when I DO, you are going to know what the word "sorry" really means!" Gaz remarked angrily.

"Is that a FACT?" White asked, crossing his arms and looking smug.

"Yes." Gaz hissed.

"CRAAAAAAP!" White screamed, taking out of the house with a burst of dust.

"Let the record show that it is now 12: 38…" Gaz whispered.

MEANWHILE…

Dib was sitting on the couch with Dwicky, a large trash heap littered to the side filled with worn-out piggies and stuff, with ANOTHER trash heap behind them. Dib's laptop was on the table before them as Dib turned to Dwicky. "We teamed up just in time for you to help out with my plan to get Zim to confess his alien self to the world."

"Hey, that sounds fun!" Dwicky remarked. He pointed at something on the screen. "Whuzzat?"

"A schematic for an alien identification transmitter." Dib admitted. "I yanked it from Zim's computer. You can send messages with encoded signatures from alien races." He announced.

"You know, if it works, we could pretend we're aliens and send Zim a transmission setting him up for a trap!" Dwicky suggested in a tone that really was more in tune with board games than tricking alien scum.

"Right! We could catch him on video without his disguise! I was gonna use it to call him names in alien languages, but your plan's cool too." Dib admitted.

And so, Zim and GIR, who were still in their disguises, stood in one of the lab rooms as Zim held up a fishbowl and a globe. Zim shoved the globe into the fishbowl, squishing the goldfish up against the glass. "NOW do you understand my latest and most brilliant plan for Earth conquest, GIR?"

"I gotta eat that fish!" GIR exclaimed.

"NO, GIR. The fish is part of the plan." Zim protested. Then he noticed the monitor was beeping, showing he had an incoming signal. He turned it on and saw strange, silhouetted beings with digitized voices.

"Is it you, Irken Zim?" The taller one asked.

Zim nodded. "Yes…I am ZIM!" Zim shouted, shaking his fists. "Who're you?"

"We are Digzum and Commodore Sloat of the planet Plookesia." "Digzum" stated.

"Sloat" cleared his throat. "We have crash-landed on this horrific planet, and you have some materials we could use for repairs, ya know?"

Zim frowned, handing GIR the fish bowl. "Gimme one reason why I should help you!" He demanded.

"A trade!" The alien "sloat" said, spreading his arms. "In return for your help, we will give you some super weapons! We would be most grateful, you jerk!"

Zim rubbed his chin, apparently tuning out at the mention of "super weapons". "Eh? I could always use more super weapons. You might now know this, but I'm, uh, sorta gonna wipe out all the life of this planet."

"Great! We'll meet you in the woods in one hour!" "Digzum" announced.

"Oh, and don't wear a disguise! Just so we know you're not a human!" "Sloat" added.

"The woods, huh? Vague, but okay. But those weapons better be super!" Zim insisted.

"Oh-ho, they'll be super! They'll be so super, you'll rue the day you ever messed with planet Earth!" "Sloat" said, laughing evilly as GIR attempted to eat the fish, only to have it bounce off his head and out the lab door. The transmission ended and Zim smiled.

"Boy he seemed like a happy guy!"

MEANWHILE AGAIN!

Nick frowned as White motioned him over to the back of an alley near the "Mac Meaties" the teenager had gone to. "What IS it?" He asked. "Can't you go away? Every time somebody gets involved with you tends to get on fire. Like that judge. You set the judge on fire. TWICE." He snapped.

"You have to keep Gazeline away from me!" White begged. "I accidentally broke the TV and she's vowed to make me pay!"

"Did she say HOW?" Nick asked, looking concerned.

"No. Which is what scares me the most." White whispered.

"…that's…not good, I'm just…gonna go to the other side of town!" Nick shouted, running off.

"AAA! NO! Don't leave me!" White screamed.

THAT NIGHT…

SHH! Be VERY, VERY quiet! They're huntin' IRKENS! Dib was on top of a log, holding up a video camera whilst Dwicky set up video recording equipment. "This is gonna be great! Today we expose Zim for the evil beast that he is!" Dib said, striking a dynamic pose on his log.

Well…some time passed. And MORE time passed. Soon it was dusk and Dib was drawing a picture of Zim in his base as Dwicky looked at his watch. They'd been waiting two hours now.

"Okay, I don't think Zim's showing up, Dib." Dwicky said, turning to Dib. "Maybe it's time you two stopped playing and told me the real reason you're so frustrated."

Dib turned on Dwicky. "Playing!?! This isn't playing! This is..."

Suddenly he got it. He UNDERSTOOD. He sprung off the log, pointing at Dwicky. "You don't believe me! You…"

He hung his head. "I thought you were different!" He said sadly, mournfully.

"Look, I know you think I lie, and I-I did, but I was only trying to help." Dwicky insisted gently.

Dib groaned and held his head, shaking it. "Isn't this just great!?! While you waste my time, Earth gets one step closer to being taken over! That's my problem right there! My problem is that the human race seems to WANT to be destroyed!" Dib groaned. "No matter how hard I try nobody's really willing to openly help and the only few people who COULD help don't believe Zim's such a threat!" He protested.

"Say, why don't we talk about this at school-" Dwicky began…but THEN he saw it.

SAW IT.

Zim's Voot Cruiser lowered from the sky and Dwicky's lip quivered, his eyes going wide as saucers as Zim hopped out of the cruiser, fists on his hips. GIR popped out of the cruiser as well, wearing the fish bowl from earlier in the day as a helmet. As Dwicky pointed at the undisguised aliens, Dib turned around and grinned.

"He's HERE!" He said, grabbing the camera.

"Who... what... an alien!?! A real-" Dwicky gasped.

"A REAL ALIEN, yes!" Dib insisted. "Glad to see you've come around, Mr. Dwicky! Here, record!"

Dib tossed the camera to Dwicky, and they walked over to Zim.

"Zim! We meet at last!" Dib laughed.

"…I just…saw you three hours ago... What are you doing here, Stink-meat!?!" He demanded to know.

"You fell for our trick, Zim! There are no Plookesians coming to give you weapons! Isn't that right, Mr. Dwicky?"

"Dwicky, huh?" Zim asked, looking Dwicky over.

"Hi!" Dwicky said, waving.

"Two against the armada? I'm not worried." Zim remarked.

"Hey! Look at this! Doodeedoodeedooo!" GIR laughed, making armpit fart noises over and over.

"GIR! ENOUGH! You're EMBARASSING me." Zim hissed.

"How can he do that when he's a ROBOT?" Dwicky asked.

"THAT'S where the genius lies!" Zim said quickly.

"Two will become millions once the world sees this tape, Zim!" Dib proclaimd. "We'll s-WHAAAA!!!"

He gasped at the sight of a strange, green, crystallized-looking space craft that was hovering down from the sky. Dwicky NATURALLY lifted the camera up to record this as the ship shone a light onto them all as a hatch opened from the ship and a walkway extended. Two aliens walked down this walkway, both tall aliens that appeared to keep their small heads inside of colored tubes, with the arms attached to the top of the tubes that made up their cyborg bodies.

"I don't see any other Plookesians here."

"Well, I could've sworn…"

Dwicky gaped as Dib raised an eyebrow. "Hey! Who are you!?!"

"Oh, hey, how's it goin'? I'm Mooshy, and this is Spoopty. Uh, we're Plookesians! Uh, we heard a Plookesian signal and we came back to check it out, ya know, 'cause that's what we do, hm!"

"Yeah, but it must've been a mix-up! Sorry for the interruption."

Dib waved his hands in the air. "Wait, I sent the signal! I was using it to lure this alien!" He said, gesturing at Zim.

"Hey, that 'taint none 'a our business!"

Dwicky finally spoke up. "You're really all aliens!?!""

"Heh, uh, of course not! Gimme that camera!" Zim demanded.

"Well, to us, YOU'RE the aliens!"

Dwicky, Dib and Zim all stared at each other. Then the Plookesians burst out laughing.

"That is never not funny!" Mooshy laughed.

"I know! I know!"

"Spoopty, you CRAZY!"

Zim shook his fists in the air. "Enough! Where are my weapons!?!" Zim demanded.

"What weapons?"

"The super weapons you promised me!" Zim growled, curling his claws.

"Geez, Zim! Don't you get it? They never talked to you! It was all a trick!" Dib groaned. "How dense-"

"Where are they!?!" Zim yelled.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but if it'll make you happy, we have some super weapons lyin' around if you want 'em." Mooshy offered. "Spoopty, get the guy the super weapons."

"You sure are nice, boss." Spoopty said, boarding the ship.

"Well, I do what I can."

"A real spaceship! SPACESHIP!!!" Dwicky's eyes went wide. "And you fly through the stars, seeing all the universe!?!"

Spoopty walked back outside with an ENORMOUS pile of weapons in his arms.

"Yeah, well, flyin' THROUGH the stars would be pretty stupid, man! But, yeah, we fly around. Heh. You wanna come along?"

Dwicky squealed with joy. "Wow! DO I!"

He ran onboard the ship with Mooshy as Spoopty dropped the super weapons in front of Zim, then climbed back onto the spaceship.

"Hey! Thank you!" Zim said happily, waving goodbye.

"DWICKY! What about our TEAM?!" Dib yelled.

Dwicky waved goodbye to Dib, then realized he was holding the camera in his hands. "Oh." He shrugged, then smiled knowingly at Dib before the walkway retracted and the ship flew off. Dib lowered his head, shaking it sadly as Zim and the super weapons were deposited into the Voot Cruiser. GIR hopped inside as well as Zim smirked down at Dib.

"Sad little Dib! No more ally and no more proof! How did you know to come here, anyway?"

"Zim you MORON!" Dib yelled. "I told you, I arranged this meeting!"

"Uh…huhhhh…" Zim shrugged. "Well, see ya!"

With that, he and GIR flew off into the night as Dib's eye twitched. All went into slow motion gain…

(And now let's get a GOOOD look at that face!)

"NAAAAAA-OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!"

… "Ah-HA!" White laughed, entering Gaz's living room and pointing at her. His jacket had blobby stains on them, his white hair was mussed up, there were cuts and bruises on his body, one shoe was off and his pant legs were torn. "It's Six Thirty-NINE! The six hours are up!"

"…so they are." Gaz remarked, looking at the wall clock.

"I laid in dog doo for three hours. I ate branches and twigs for lunch. I had to hide in dumpsters and old refrigerators' and hobos beat me up and ruined my jacket but YOU never…"

White's eyes went wide as his finger slowly fell down. "…got…me…"

"…let's do this again sometime." Gaz remarked evilly, holding up the TV remote and pointing it RIGHT at the camera.

BBBZT!

I do so enjoy writing this story. Review! I need reviews or my head will explode! It happens sometimes! :)