Disclaimer – I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

*Rated T for Teen (Unless Otherwise Noted) – Sexual Themes, Language


Author's Note – Cheer up, people. Life is always full of unexpected surprises.


Bang (Rated M)

Seto sighed in aggravation as he stepped into the store. Who knew having pets could be so troublesome? So here he was, in the pet food isle, looking for the brand Joey had specifically told him to get for their new dog.

Upon finding it, he tossed the bag over his shoulder and proceeded down the next isle, where he spotted something that brought a sly smirk to his face. Grabbing that as well, he made his way toward the only cash register that was open and dropped his two items on the conveyor belt.

And then his phone buzzed.

Stifling a groan, Seto pulled out his cell and noticed that Joey was calling him…probably making sure he bought the right dog food or something.

"What now?" Seto snapped as he answered his phone.

The cashier's head jerked upward in surprise. Seto Kaiba was in his line! The Seto Kaiba was purchasing things in his line! He blindly grabbed the dog food bag and rang it up, trying to listen in on the CEO's conversation.

"Yes, I got the dog food," the brunet stated. Then he began smirking. "And I got some condoms."

There was a pause, which gave the cashier time to glance at the other item. It was, indeed, a box of condoms. He picked up the item and rang that up, too.

"What do you mean what for?" Seto asked, but then his expression became leery. "I plan on banging a certain puppy later. Is that reason enough?"

The box of condoms promptly fell out of the cashier's hands. Seto Kaiba was…he was…

"And you know what else?" the brunet continued. "I have a certain studded collar and leash that I know will look absolutely sexy on this certain puppy."

The cashier's jaw dropped as he fumbled for the box of condoms.

"I'll also be teaching this certain puppy how to beg…all night long. And perhaps he'll be rewarded with a treat. A very special treat involving me thrusting—hello?" Seto turned toward the pale cashier. "He hung up. Can you bag those for me?"

The cashier nodded dumbly, still trying to process what he'd heard. Seto Kaiba was going to…have sex with a…dog?

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THIS MAN? SHOULD HE CALL SOMEONE? LIKE PETA? WHAT SHOULD HE DO?

"That'll be $27.96." Fuck it. He didn't want to get involved.

Seto paid the cashier and grabbed his bags with a smirk. "Now I have a puppy's ass to pound into," he said before leaving.

The cashier choked on the air he'd just inhaled and started coughing.

"Are you all right?" exclaimed the next customer in line, coming to the man's aid.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," he said before glancing at the next customer's items. Lube and cat litter.

He fainted.


Author's Note – Please review.