Are you starting to figure out why I wanted an even number of nations?
Warning: Lemon, dubcon (kinda), fluff, angst, a fight. Good stuff, folks.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA. I have fun manipulating their characters, though
Grow
The wind started just after the sunset, and it was a bitch combined with the cold. With no trees to shield them, the gusts buffeted the nylon endlessly. Kiku and Yao were both bundled up in their sleeping bags, hoping that the tent wouldn't be completely blown away by the storm.
It wasn't until midnight that Kiku actually fell asleep, although he had been plenty tired earlier in the evening. Every time the wind would blow, Kiku would bolt upright to hold the tent down. He eventually realized that he really didn't need to… and he promptly drifted off.
He didn't dream. He was in a dead sleep—something that he had been lacking for the past week or so. Being out in the middle of nowhere assured him that his recently dull senses would not be a problem.
Kiku was so out of it that he didn't notice Yao moving ever closer to him in his own sleeping bag. The Chinaman was cold, and he craved the warmth. That and he couldn't sleep because it had been so long since he had properly gotten off that every time he closed his eyes, he would awake only minutes later with a hard-on from the constant wet dreams he'd been having of late. He had been trying to ignore them, but his dick was obviously sending him a message. He was ashamed to even think of it, but he couldn't just jerk off. He'd tried that, and it still didn't work. He needed to fuck something, and the only something to fuck was the man lying passed out right next to him.
Yao considered Kiku as his younger brother, but that didn't mean he didn't find him attractive. Of course, it had been a thought he'd stored safely in the back of his mind until now, when he couldn't make it go away. He loved Kiku, and he didn't want his sexual urges to ruin their relationship… even though it was really one-sided. Then again, he might be able to use that as an excuse…
He was surprised when he tied Kiku's hands behind his back with one of his shoelaces and the younger man didn't even flinch. Wow, he must really be tired. Yao smirked. Was he really going to do this? Wake someone up who desperately needed sleep just to satisfy his own sexual needs?
Hell, yes.
Yao shimmied out of his sleeping bag and into Kiku's. He reached around Kiku's front, hiking up his shirt and pushing down his pants. God, is this right? Should I be doing this? Yao knew well his conscious should be shouting a loud 'NO!', but he needed this so badly and Kiku was the only one near (and inert) enough to give it to him.
Kiku shifted as he felt something cold brush up against his stomach. He pulled the sleeping bag further around himself—or at least tried. His hands seemed to be bound tightly behind his back. Kiku almost panicked. Oh God, had his hands gotten stuck there? He couldn't have that. He tried moving them again, but he felt the rough burn on his wrists.
Some sort of string. Someone had tied him up.
At first Kiku thought that they had been ambushed sometime in the night and that he hadn't heard a thing, which scared him more than he could say. But then why would his attacker be laying so close behind him with his cold hands up his shirt?
There could be only one answer. "Yao-sama?"
"Shì?"
"Why are you in my sleeping bag?"
"… I was cold."
Kiku stiffened when he felt Yao's fingers brush over his skin. Okay, this was really starting to get creepy. And Kiku's claustrophobia was kicking in. "Yao-sama… this is very awkward."
Yao couldn't help but smirk. He was feeling a bit reckless. "Not if you want this, too…" His hand dipped into Kiku's underwear.
Kiku gave a yelp and jerked away. "H-hey! You hands—!"
But Yao wrapped a hand around Kiku's mouth. "Shh. Everything is all right, Kiku. Just keep still…"
Yao's fingers brushed the base of Kiku's cock, and the younger man began to squirm against him. He would have kicked Yao away if it weren't for the older man's legs locking his own in place. Kiku screamed behind the hand muffling him.
"Shh, shh," Yao hissed in Kiku's ear. His lips brushed against the heated skin. His tongue darted out to trace the shell.
Kiku's eyes widened, and he stopped writhing altogether. This was really happening. He couldn't believe Yao was doing this. Yao, of all people. At the least, he'd expected Francis. He was too shocked to move as the fingers found his cock, wrapping themselves around the shaft.
"I'm sorry, Kiku." Yao said, though he truly wasn't. "But I need this. I know you do, too."
Yao moved against Kiku, suppressing a moan. Kiku's breath caught when he felt hard, pulsing warmth grinding against his backside.
"Please," Yao whispered. "Give me this."
Kiku was bound, and there was no getting away. There was no choice.
He was still as Yao pulled down Kiku's pants and underwear. Yao struggled to push his own down as well, and soon his arousal was pushed up against Kiku's bare ass. Yao let up his grip on Kiku's mouth so he could plunge the fingers of his other hand between the younger's lips.
"Wet them," he ordered. "so that I won't hurt you."
Kiku did so bitterly. He couldn't believe this. Only a couple of days after hearing Francis's horrific tale of rape and now Yao was going to do the same to him. It was wrong, it was cold, it was barbaric, it was…
Arousing.
Well, this was Yao. He wasn't one of those thuggish inmates. Kiku knew Yao, and as so he knew that this was something Yao would never do unless pressured. And Kiku could tell by the strain in Yao's voice, by the throbbing need against his thigh, that Yao's subconscious was responsible for this.
Kiku, though he never openly admitted it, respected Yao. Loved—maybe. He had never been so close to anyone to love them. But he considered Yao closer to him than anyone else in his life, even though he had never shown it any way. He liked to keep that part of him secret. That he admired Yao. That Yao was wise. That Yao was… kawaii.
Kiku blushed as he thought about it. About all those times he thought those… dirty things about Yao and had gotten hard. With him being a secret pervert (okay, maybe not that secret, but he liked to think that he was), it was no surprise to him that he was turned on by the thought of sleeping with someone who considered Kiku a younger brother. The biggest surprise aside from this fantasy actually happening was that Yao was the one initiating it.
No! Kiku thought. This was wrong! He was not liking this. He was not liking this…
Yao took his fingers from Kiku's mouth, a trail of saliva following them.
"Keep still." Yao breathed against Kiku's neck, kissing it softly. "Very still. And quiet…" And he pushed a finger into him.
Kiku gasped and moved his hips away. It had been a good many months since he'd been penetrated by anything (yes, anything. He had toys), and a sting of pain shot up his spine.
Yao caught his hip. "Still, still, Kiku…" He pulled Kiku back to him, cock hardening with the man's resistance, and he forced his whole finger in. Kiku arched and moaned, and Yao no longer had to hold his hips in place.
"You're so tight, xiǎodì." Yao inserted another finger, and Kiku yelped, pushing back against them.
Kiku's cock was standing at full mast—neglected for so long and spurred by Yao's words. Kiku felt Yao's fingers nudge at his prostate, and he arched, moaning behind the man's fingers.
That was enough for Yao to take his fingers (rather haphazardly) from Kiku's ass and press the head of own cock to his entrance. He didn't say a thing as he pushed in.
"Mmm, mmm…!" Kiku struggled to suppress his moans with the feel of Yao inside him. Oh God. It really was happening. It took the end of the world, but Yao was finally fucking him!
Yao nipped Kiku's neck as he pulled out. He hadn't felt this for a long time. He held Kiku's hip for dear life. "Oh, Kiku~"
When Yao began to fuck him, Kiku fell into a haze of heat and lust. It was so uncommon for Kiku to just give himself up without a fight, especially to something (very controversial to him) like sex. Then again, the hard times had brought out changes in him. He could care less about his old traditions now. All he knew was that he was desperate for Yao, and he was willing to let him be one of the few people to see him in this sort of needy state.
It wasn't long before he could feel that Yao was at his edge, moaning into the soft skin of Kiku's neck, kissing him there. But Kiku needed more. Yao seemed so lost in his own pleasure, he wasn't properly tending to Kiku's.
Well, he'd just have to change that.
Yao's grip had become slack shortly into their romp, and Kiku took advantage by working his legs loose and sitting up. Yao stammered as his cock was freed from Kiku's ass, but Kiku didn't give him a chance to protest. "Untie me," he said breathlessly, and Yao reached around to do so. He knew he was taking a chance, and he was quite nervous. Normally he wasn't this bold. But Kiku decided that all that mattered was having Yao's cock in him and finishing himself, so he rolled Yao over, straddled him, and sunk back down on his cock.
"A-ah, uh, Yao…" Kiku moaned, too lost in his arousal to care about what came out of his mouth. He began to move, and Yao stared up at him in disbelief, hands going to Kiku's hips to guide him as he went up and down on his cock.
Yao became entranced by the fluid movements of Kiku's hips, the flawlessness of his skin, those sexy moans, those deep, brown eyes. Oh God, Kiku was so beautiful, how had Yao managed to keep himself from taking the man earlier? He reached out and grasped Kiku's swollen cock, stroking it in time with his rolling hips.
Kiku threw his head back and moaned, the high winds and the rain outside drowning him out (hopefully) as he came in hot bursts, clamping tightly around the dick inside him. Yao followed soon after, moaning Kiku's name over and over as he filled him.
They remained there, catching their breaths, enjoying the feel of being together, connected, at last. When Kiku came down from his high, he realized how brazen he had been. His face was at full blush as he looked meekly down at Yao.
But Yao was smiling. "It looks like I just could have asked."
Kiku's blush deepened. "I… I, uh…"
Yao shook his head and held out his arms to Kiku. "Come here,"
Kiku moved off of Yao's cock to lay next to him, cheek against Yao's chest and arm stretched over him. Yeah, this felt like a good position. Like in those mangas…
"You know," Yao said, holding him. "I like cute things."
Kiku smiled. "So… I did a good job?"
"More than a good job." Yao kissed the top of his head. "It's official. All cute things come from Japan."
Kiku didn't know what possessed him to do it, but he raised himself on his elbows and pressed his lips to Yao's. When they parted, Yao squealed and crushed Kiku to his chest.
"Oh, Kiku, you are so kawaii~!"
"Y-Yao-chan, you are… too… close…"
"Oh, sorry," Yao said, releasing him, heart lifting at the endearing honorific. They looked at each other for a moment.
"Want to try that kiss again? I really liked it."
Kiku nodded and did so, stiffening when he felt Yao's tongue run across his bottom lip. Kiku let him in, their tongues brushing past one another, Yao's fingers threading through his hair, their hips grinding together…
Kiku broke the kiss. "Again?" He was blushing, but, damn, he wanted it.
Yao smiled. "As long as it's storming, we can do anything we want."
Kiku smiled back and let Yao roll them over so that the younger lay beneath him. Yao ran his fingers through Kiku's hair.
"You know I can't resist cute things."
None of the tents blew away in the night, which they were all grateful for and surprised by. The storm lasted barely three hours, but the winds were still present. During the night Francis had snuck into Matthew and Sadiq's tent, and they honestly weren't that surprised about him requesting to spend the night with them. It was a struggle to move about properly as the wind buffeted their clothes and whipped their hair across their faces. It was then that Arthur realized he needed a haircut to avoid looking like a frog.
But there were other matters to tend to. When everyone was up and out, Arthur began, "We need to keep moving. As we have previously decided, we will continue east. Winter will be upon us before long, and it would be in our best interest to be free of the plains when the snows come." He glanced around. "There's a stream just ahead. It looks to be the last one for miles. If anyone is short of water, then fill up there."
"I think we should wash up, too." Francis added, examining his filthy hands. "This might be our last chance before the water's too freezing to risk bathing."
Arhur frowned. Trust Francis to suggest a public bath. But then again, he wasn't opposed to it. He felt grimy, and a good wash might brighten everyone's spirits. "Yes, that sounds… good. The water might not be the warmest at this time of day, but it will certainly wake us up." He smiled, but no one laughed. Okay, this was weird. Sure, everyone regarded Arthur's humor with little amusement, but that was one that should have earned at least a few laughs. He sighed. "We should also really talk more about our problems. All this silence is putting more tension between everyone than it ought to. Let's work on addressing the problems, not escalating them, hm?" His eyes passed subconsciously over Gilbert.
Even though it was only a second's glance, Gilbert noticed it well enough. Anger began to boil inside him. "Why do you look at me when you say that, huh?"
Arthur blinked. "What? Gilbert, I didn't—"
"Nein," Gilbert snapped. "You did. You think you're such a great fucking leader, don't you? Look at yourself now. Ordering everyone to spill what they might not want to tell. Who are you to boss everyone around? No one elected you to lead this group."
Arthur was now red-faced and furious. After all he'd been through worrying about protecting this group, about keeping it together, and now he got this? "No one elected me. That's true enough. But no one had the bollocks to step up, so I did. I've been through more than you know regarding this group, and I won't have someone saying I'm only doing it for control."
Gilbert clenched his fists. "There you go again, accusing 'someone.' Ja, don't try to put a mask over it, British prick, I know it's me that's 'troubling' you. And I see all the wary looks I get. Don't anyone try to deny it. You're all fucking scared of me, right? Waiting for me to blow up like some bomb that's counting down?"
"East," Ludwig began. "No one has said—"
"Of course no one has said anything!" Gilbert rounded on him. "I'm the issue, ja? I'm the problem. You're all just waiting for me to fuck off so that you can talk outloud to each other and be happy and forget that there are some people here that are acting as silent catalysts to what's going on. And they're too fucking cowardly to admit it." Gilbert glanced at Lovino, and the Italian's eyes widened. "So you just go on blaming me for the fucking tension. You don't even know why I'm so fucking angry."
"But, dude," Alfred cut in. "Artie just said that we were gonna talk about that stuff."
"Screw talking about it if the cause of my anger isn't going to step up. Because he won't. He likes to run away from his problems and dump them on somebody else, but I'm tired of taking all of his shit." Gilbert felt like punching something. A tree. Where was a fucking tree when he needed one? Nothing was fucking working out for him and it was starting to piss him off. "I… I can't believe this. I'm done." He began to walk off in a random direction. "Feel free to talk now. I won't be around to blow up on you."
"Gilbert!" Arthur shouted. "We really shouldn't be wandering off on our own!"
"Don't tell me what to fucking do when you were acting like an ass the other day. At least I'm solving the problem by removing myself from the situation, not escalating it by trying to lead with an unstable mind. Fuck you!" He gave Arthur a double bird, turned around, put his hands in his pockets, and walked off. He was done. He'd taken enough shit, even though most of what people had to say to him hadn't been voiced. But they sure as hell told him by how they looked at him.
"East!" Ludwig called, but Gilbert didn't respond, didn't even stop.
Feliciano began to cry. "Ve, Gilbert's going away. He isn't coming back, is he?"
Lovino growled. "Oh, he sure as fuck will." He was pissed. Now Gilbert was being over dramatic about his goddamn problems. Who gave him that right? Everyone had issues, and even though Lovino had contributed to Gilbert's, he wasn't just going to let the man walk away from his troubles. No one could just walk away, and Gilbert had no right if no one else could. They were a fucking team, and there was no room for selfish attitudes.
So Lovino took off after him, not caring if people were staring or suspicious or knew he was the cause of Gilbert's issues. He was going to put an end to this shit. It had been eating him, too. He had to say something before Gilbert did something to put the group or himself in danger.
When Lovino finally caught up to him, Gilbert didn't stop, but he said, "What the fuck do you want, Lovino? To punch me in the face like last time? Would that solve the problem?"
"Stop, bastard, I want to talk to you."
"I'm not stopping. If you need me to stop to listen to you, then fuck off."
Lovino boiled. "Hey, dickhead, I'm talking to you so stop fucking walking away." He grabbed Gilbert's shoulder and pulled him back, forcing him to stop.
Lovino could see the muscles in Gilbert's shoulders tense. He turned around, his face red and his jaw clenched. "Why can't you fucking leave me alone, Lovino? You've done enough."
"Then stop making a big fucking problem out of what we did!" Lovino growled back.
"How can I not, Lovino? How the fuck can I not?" Gilbert was shouting now, and he didn't care who heard. "You used me, Lovino. You used me! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?" Lovino was staring at him, speechless, and Gilbert scoffed. "Of course you don't." And he turned around, walking off again.
"You… you felt something, didn't you?" Lovino said, and Gilbert stopped.
"Nein. I thought I felt something."
"Well then why the fuck else would you be hurt?" Lovino demanded. "I've known you to sleep with anyone and not feel a damn thing. Why now?"
Gilbert turned around, staring at him. "Nein, why me? Why did you choose me to dump all of this onto? I know I've done a lot of shitty things, but I would never give my problems to someone else. I'm not even that cruel."
"It wouldn't have hurt so much if you didn't ca—"
"Answer me, Lovino!" Lovino was silent, glaring. "It could have been anyone, huh? Is that what you're going to say? West could have walked in there, and you would have screwed him because you needed to forget. How fucking selfish is that? … I was just a piece of flesh with a cock. That's all you needed, why worry about everything else?"
"It had to be you." Lovino muttered.
"What?"
"It had to be you!" he shouted, face flushed and his limbs shaking with fury. He'd thought about this. He knew the answer. "It couldn't just be anyone else. Before what we did… you fucking got to me. You wanted to pound the shit out of those convicts that had Francis because he was your friend. I said you didn't fucking know… but, goddammit, I was angry because you were acting how I should have fucking acted when Toni told me to run. You would have stayed by his side. You would have fought off those fuckers. But I fucking ran, dammit. I ran, and Toni died, and I'm a fucking coward! That's all I've ever been, and you are everything I should fucking be." Lovino's voice lowered. "How I should have been." When Gilbert didn't say anything, Lovino continued, "You're right. I am a horrible lover. How could I just leave Toni to die? And then I fucking sleep with his friend to end my suffering? Toni was the only one who ever loved me, and I just fucking let it fly away like piss in the wind. I was never meant to love anyone. That's how it is, and I see that now. I didn't even love Toni enough to save him from those bastards." Ah, fuck, he was crying. Why now, why the fuck now?
Gilbert wanted to hold Lovino and tell him it was okay, but the others were watching at the camp, and he didn't want Lovino to be hurt by their secret getting out. He didn't think it was time for that yet. So instead he said, "Lovino, you aren't a coward. I was wrong to say that." Gilbert was admitting he had been wrong. That was a first.
"Don't tell me what I am when I fucking know myself well enough, bastard!" Lovino fought to keep his voice steady, but he was wiping his face with his hands.
"Lovi, you left Toni, but think about what you did after." Gilbert walked up to him, sighing. Wasn't Lovino supposed to be the one comforting him? Oh well. He touched Lovino's bandaged shoulder. "This shows how brave you are. You went back for your brother, even though you knew how dangerous that would be. You fucking carried him on your back up a ladder and into a helicopter and got shot doing it. You are not a coward, Lovino, you were just conflicted at the moment of your decision."
"You're fucking loyal. You would have stayed with Toni, made sure you got out of there together…"
"Nein. If it was between him and West, it would have been as equally hard for me, and… I don't know who I would have chosen. It was hard, but Feliciano is alive because of it."
"But Toni is gone…" Lovino cried. "He loved me and I let him down…"
"Lovino, Toni would not have wanted you to stay even if you had chosen to. He didn't care if you ran or not, because he wanted you alive. You didn't abandon him."
"How do you fucking know, b-bastard?"
"Because I know Toni." Gilbert said quietly. "And you do, too. Stop lying to yourself. You're tormenting yourself over his death. It hasn't been him that's been plaguing your mind, it's been your subconscious. You're feeling guilty about leaving him when you shouldn't be."
I am. Lovino thought, his tears clearing up. It's all me. Toni wouldn't want me to feel guilty… he loved me… He sniffed and looked up at Gilbert. "You've been doing this to yourself, too. It isn't me that's making you angry… admit it."
Gilbert felt himself go pale. "Admit what?"
Lovino smirked. "That I wasn't just another fuck."
Gilbert chuckled. "Ja, well, maybe you weren't."
"Come on, bastard. Everyone's probably eager to know what the fuck's going on."
"You won't tell them anything."
"Damn straight,"
As they made their way back to the camp, Lovino took a chance and said, "You want to do it again soon?"
"Ja. I don't think Toni would mind. It takes a special person to get close to you. I think I've earned his approval."
"Si, you have. Anyone who could make me that fucking angry definitely deserves some sort of reward."
When they got back to camp, everyone was staring at them. Lovino and Gilbert had made sure to stop smiling to ward off any suspicions about them being together.
"What the fuck are you all staring at?" Lovino snapped. "The fucker's back, so let's go!"
Translations:
xiǎodì-little brother
A Word From the Writer: So... just a bunch of shit going on, but you can basically see how everyone pairs up now, right? Riiiight? Nice little lemon scene I had for you guys, because it's fun to write. And then Prussia and Romano have finally settled things. Talk about pmsing, jeez. Hopefully they'll "sync up" in other ways. Ew, was that tmi? Sorry. XD
