All right, here's the edited and updated version of chapter 54, what you guys should have received earlier this week if I hadn't been so crunched for time. Now that it's out of the way, I can begin chapter 55, which I hope you will all enjoy.
Happy third anniversary! Here's to many more! (But not too many, I hope.)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Thanks must go to EmperorDaein for the inspiration for a couple of the new villains in this chapter. You'll know them when you see them.
…
The Enchanted Express chugged along happily across the desert, the light of the Moon shining down on it from on high as it left the ruins of Dusty Ditch far behind it and continued on its way to Fichina and the safe refuge that awaited its passengers there. Many hours and hundreds of miles stretched out between the train and its final destination, but it didn't care about the distance, so long as it kept on running, nothing really mattered to it. (Yes, the train was at least partially alive. What? It's a magical machine, is that really so hard to believe?)
Most of its occupants were in a very deep sleep, trying to recover from the sheer exhaustion generated by the strenuous battle they had fought in the day before, and the impromptu cleanup and funeral they had held in the valley of the desolated town before leaving. They needed all the sleep they could get, since according to the oracle Cherry, an even bigger battle awaited them in the day to come. They had already planned and plotted and started making their preparations, but for now they needed their rest, so that when the fight began they would be ready.
Not all of the Pokémon on board the train were asleep, however. There were always one or two engineers on duty in the engine room to keep the train running and make sure they stayed on course, and some of the security guards and strongest fighters patrolled the hallways in shifts. The train's magical sensors were on full alert for any possible intrusion, and Cherry had said they weren't going to get attacked during the night, but after everything they had just faced they were too paranoid to simply leave the train unguarded, even for a few hours.
As it turned out, their worries were completely justified. Unfortunately, there wasn't much they could do about it. Not until it was too late, anyway.
From atop a butte overlooking the tracks, a dark, many-legged figure watched as the train approached, a stream of multicolored smoke trailing behind it, all sorts of magical lights and glyphs and sigils on its surface glowing in the darkness. "Be ready, my children," it hissed to the smaller figures clustered around it. "The time to strike is at hand." They waited, many eyes wide with anticipation as the train passed underneath them, slowing gradually to make it around the bend without derailing. "Now!" the figure chittered as it leaped off the butte, plummeting towards the train. The smaller creatures took the plunge alongside it, parachutes made of silky crackling strands billowing out behind them and slowing their descent.
Normally, the approach of so many foreign Pokémon drifting towards the train would have triggered its proximity sensors and sent an alarm blaring down its length, alerting its crew that hostiles were inbound. Unfortunately, these Pokémon were far from normal, and so the alarms remained silent as the parachuters quietly landed on top of the train, the Enchanted Express's detection spells and defenses washing off the specially-made fabric covering every inch of the intruders' bodies, unable to register their presence.
That didn't stop them from setting off the pressure alarms when their weight made contact with the roof of the train, however. They landed as lightly as they could, but that didn't stop a light from going off in the engine room as a telepathic message was transmitted to all the security forces alerting them that something had just hit the roof. The Haunter and Grumpig, who were in the car closest to the disturbance, were dispatched to check it out.
"It's probably just another false alarm," the Grumpig complained as they hurried down the corridors to the car they were supposed to investigate. "We've gotten lots of those ever since we put the sensors on high alert and left Dusty Ditch."
"It might be, but that doesn't mean we should discount it," the Haunter pointed out. "Procedure exists for a reason. Refusing to obey it can have disastrous consequences. Just look at what happened to poor Moju…"
"But Miss Cherry said nothing's supposed to happen tonight!" the Grumpig protested.
"That's true, but we can't be too careful," the Haunter pointed out. "Considering everything we've seen so far, I wouldn't put it past the Nihilators to have some way to get around her prophetic powers. There ARE ways of doing that, after all."
"…Eh, I guess so," the Grumpig admitted reluctantly.
They stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked straight up. "Okay, apparently whatever landed on the roof is right above us," the Haunter said. "Like you said, it's probably a false alarm, but it never hurts to be cautious."
"All right. You going up or am I?" the Grumpig asked. "Or should we both go?"
"I'll go. You stay here and wait for me. If you don't hear back from me in two minutes, sound the alarm," the Haunter said. The Grumpig nodded nervously and watched as his partner floated up to the ceiling and phased through the roof. Normally such a feat would be impossible in a vehicle as heavily warded as the Enchanted Express, but as an employee the system was keyed to let him pass through when necessary.
The Haunter peered around the top of the car as he passed through the roof, the wind whipping in his face and the Moon shining brightly down on him. He didn't see anything, but just because he didn't see anything didn't mean there was nothing there. His eyes glowed red as he used Foresight, panning beams of crimson light across the length and breadth of the roof. Nothing invisible revealed itself. He floated around the sides of the car and scanned them to make sure nothing was clinging to them, and looked under the car as well to see if there were any stowaways hanging to the underside. When he saw nothing, he checked out the rest of the cars, just to make certain that whatever had fallen onto the roof hadn't jumped to another car, although the pressure sensors hadn't detected anything else. Again, he found nothing. He cast every detection spell he knew just to make sure, however, and when none of them picked anything up, he conceded and returned to his partner. "You were right, it was a false alarm," he said to the Grumpig.
"Told you," the Grumpig said, hiding his relief. "Probably some pebbles or dust falling from the top of that butte we just passed. We've really turned the sensors up to much if they keep getting set off by detritus like that."
"Yeah, but we don't want those guys sneaking up on us," the Haunter pointed out.
"If they were small enough to leave such a tiny impact, how bad could they be?" the Grumpig asked skeptically.
"They could have miniaturized themselves using Minimize so they could crawl through a ventilation duct or something and kill everyone in their sleep," the Haunter said.
"Ooh. I hadn't thought of that," the Grumpig said, eyes widening in alarm. "Could they really do that?"
"No, we've got the ducts sealed and screened too tightly to let any living or unliving matter pass through. No poison gas, either. Still, I hear that some assassin was able to kill a bigshot target using a method like that, and I wouldn't put it past the Nihilators to try the same trick, or improvise it," the Haunter said.
The Grumpig sighed and shook his head. "There's so many ways to kill a person…why can't people just use magic or Pokémon abilities to get along?"
"Because if they did, we'd be out of a job," the Haunter pointed out. He checked his watch. "I think our shift's about up. Time to switch off with our relief."
"Good," the relieved Grumpig said as they headed back to their quarters. "I'm dead tired. I could use a good rest."
"We'll need it, considering what's coming next…" the Haunter said. As they left the compartment, the Haunter did not notice the small invisible creatures that had been clinging to the back of his head hop off and scuttle up the walls of the car. Neither did the train's sensors. It did pick up a brief fluctuation in its anti-phase shielding which lasted for no less than a second, but when the Haunter and Grumpig rushed back to check on it and found nothing wrong, they were forced to conclude it was another false alarm and went off to their well-earned sleep.
They were wrong, of course, but how were they supposed to know that a Nihilator assassin wearing an experimental stealth suit with phase-through capabilities and an extremely expensive and difficult-to-replicate anti-magic memory-nullifying cloaking device had just snuck on board with two dozen similarly suited assistants? It certainly wasn't anything Cherry had warned them about, nor could she, since each suit was equipped with an even more expensive and difficult-to-replicate tachyon array, and as everyone knows, tachyons make it difficult if not impossible to predict the future. (What, you didn't know that? Well, it's true. Read Watchmen if you don't believe me. Yes, it's got a giant naked blue man in it, but its Alan Moore, what do you expect?) As a result, this was something that nobody, not even the resident oracle, could have seen coming.
Nor would they, until it was too late. Snickering inwardly, the assassin dispatched her henchmons throughout the train while she began hunting her prey. Doors opened and closed throughout the train as they went from car to car, their special camouflage protecting them from being detected. Many times, the Enchanted Express noticed that a door was opening despite nobody being there to go through it, but every time it was about to report it, it forgot about it completely, thanks to the memory-erasing properties of the stealth suits, which made it almost impossible for them to be picked up by the train's internal sensors, or rather, they did get picked up, but then the sensors forgot it had ever happened, allowing them to continue on their way undetected. There were limits to the efficacy of this, of course, since the suits were still experimental and it required a lot of power to keep an effect like that going for very long, hence why only a small team had been equipped with it rather than an entire army due to scarcity of resources and power consumption, but so long as they remained careful, nobody would notice they were there. As such, they were able to go about their business virtually unnoticed, allowing them to get into position to enact Doctor Tarantulas' master plan…a plan that, if all went the way he hoped, would spell the end for everyone on board the train.
…
Meanwhile, in one of the compartments…
"…And that's everything," Ash said, finishing the story of…well, pretty much everything that was going on, including just about every significant detail of his life and his past and his connection to Oblivion's Shadow and the darkness festering within him that threatened to destroy everything he held dear.
"…Wow," Ritchie said finally, a stunned look on his face. "That's…that's pretty incredible, Ash. If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd just made all that stuff up to freak me out, because a story like that is almost too astounding and dark and…well, horrifying to be true."
"I wish it weren't true," Ash confessed unhappily. "It's certainly not the sort of thing you want to be in the middle of."
"I can't imagine having something like all that on my shoulders," Ritchie said, shaking his head in amazement. "All the pressure, the worrying, the fear of what I might become…it'd drive a guy mad. I'm amazed you're still sane!"
"So am I, actually," Ash admitted. "But I don't know how much longer that will last. Every new memory, every glimpse the Star Badges give me into the past, hint that something even MORE horrible than what I've already remembered happened to me…and I'm terrified that once I remember that something, I'll snap, just like I did before, and if that happens…I'm not sure if anyone will be able to bring me back."
"What about Tiny?" Ritchie asked, glancing at the Pupitar, sleeping peacefully next to Ash on the bed beside him.
Ash absent-mindedly stroked his son's carapace, causing a wave of happiness and contentment to pulse through him that made him smile in spite of himself. "I don't know. He's connected to my heart, but…when I get closer to Shadow, it becomes harder for me to hear him. I become so angry and focused on my opponent that I forget he's there…or anyone else, either. Which is a pretty awful way to treat my kid and my friends, the people who care most about me…the people who are supposed to keep me anchored and make sure I don't lose it…" He sighed. "And look how well that's going…"
"It seems to be going pretty well, from what I've seen so far," Ritchie said. "You haven't gone full-on Void yet, after all."
"That's true," Ash admitted. "And hopefully, it'll stay that way. But…when we get to Fichina…I'm afraid of what new memory I'll unlock, that it'll bring my heart that much closer to closing up completely."
"With that kind of talk, it's only a matter of time before you do it to yourself," Ritchie complained. "You need to stop being so negative."
"It's hard not to be, with all this looming over me," Ash said resentfully. "I'm doing the best I can, and I have everyone else supporting me, but…I can't help wondering how much more I can take before I lose it completely…"
"Why haven't you tried purifying yourself yet? Becoming a Shining Pokémon or whatever?" Ritchie asked.
"I'm not ready," Ash said. "I've pored over my book and talked at length with Aaron about it, but at the moment my heart's too unbalanced. I'm too anxious and worried. I need to get better control over my emotions first. If I make the dive into my heart, I'm going to be facing the darkest version of myself, fed by all my worst feelings and nightmares. If I face it while those negative emotions still have such a strong grip in me, it'll consume me…"
"And then you'd become a Void," Ritchie concluded. He sighed. "This sucks big time…I'm sorry, Ash. I wish there were something I could do. If only I had more training in the more advanced Aura techniques…"
"Even if you did, I'm not sure there's anything you could do," Ash said. "It's my darkness, so in the end, it's something only I can face. My friends will be supporting me and putting their hopes in me, but ultimately…I have to fight it alone. It's…not a prospect I look forward to."
"Neither do I," Ritchie said. "And I'm not even going to be involved! You can't have another Aura Guardian project your friends into your heart like you were able to do for Dawn and Tiny?"
"If I were just a regular Pokémon, yes…but since I'm an Aura Guardian, if they tried that, there's a good chance my Shadow Aura would destroy them," Ash said. "It's another reason I'm not sure Tiny's connection to me will help…if I go Void, then…"
"So will he?" Ritchie gasped. He looked at the sleeping Pupitar in concern, not liking the thought of the armored Pokémon turning evil. He reminded him too much of his own son…it was weird how they looked and acted so much alike... "…Does he know?"
"No. I haven't told him, and he hasn't considered it," Ash said. "It's not something I want him to think about. He worries about me enough as it is. In any event, I'm not positive that's what'll happen if I lose the battle with my darkness. That's the most likely worst case scenario if I fail, though."
"What's the best?" Ritchie asked.
"He dies," Ash said bluntly.
Ritchie grimaced. "Oy…it just gets better and better, doesn't it?"
"Story of my life," Ash said morosely. They said nothing for a while. Ash looked out the window and stroked Tiny, while Ritchie couldn't help glancing at Cruise, who was snoozing against his side, and worrying about what would happen to his son if he were at risk of going dark. He shook his head, once more astonished by the sorts of things his new friend had gone through…like a reflection of his own adventures, only much darker. (Or was it the other way around?)
And speaking of adventures… "Hey Ash, you said we were friends before, back when…back when you were human, right?" Ritchie asked, getting an idea for how to change the subject.
Ash glanced at him. "Huh? Yeah, we were."
"What was I like?" Ritchie asked.
"Pretty much the same as you are now, personality-wise," Ash said. "Unlike me, who's…well, been forced to make a few changes here and there. We were a lot alike back then. More than a few people suggested, not always jokingly, that we might actually be brothers…"
"Were we?" Ritchie asked.
"No, though that didn't stop people from spreading rumors about my mom," Ash said sourly. Ritchie had to stifle a laugh. "You had pretty much the same Pokémon that you do now. I think your teammates are the reincarnations of the Pokémon you trained back when you were a human."
"Me, a human…it's so weird. I can't even picture it," Ritchie murmured. "And is everyone on your team reincarnations of your Pokémon from back then, too?"
"Oddly enough, no, just a couple of them: Pikachu, Leo, and Tiny," Ash said. "Everyone else is either new, or…I think a reincarnation of a person I knew back then, either pretty well or just fleetingly. As I've gotten more of my memories back from spending time around them or the Star Badges, it's weird comparing who they are now with who they were then…most of them are completely different! Pikachu was more easygoing, Leo wasn't such a nerd, Briney wasn't such a badass, Lily and Dawn weren't so…tormented, and Tiny…well, Tiny's pretty much exactly the same." He smiled adoringly at his son, who nuzzled him in his sleep, which would have been cuter if he weren't a big spiky chrysalis digging his spines into Ash's side. The Lucario ground his teeth and bore it.
"Well, that's a point for nurture over nature, then," Ritchie said. He frowned. "And I really haven't changed at all?"
"Well…maybe a little," Ash admitted. "To be honest, I didn't know you as well as I would have liked. If we'd gotten to spend more time together, I think we'd have gotten a deeper connection than the one we had."
Ritchie frowned. "So I wasn't a close friend or anything?"
Ash shook his head. "I only met you on a couple of occasions, to be honest. We fought in a couple of Pokémon Leagues, and had an adventure where we rescued some Lugia from a group called Team Rocket. That's about it, more's the pity."
"We rescued some Lugia? Cool!" Ritchie said. "I'd love to hear more about that."
"I'd be happy to tell you," Ash said.
"Was it anything like what we're going to do tomorrow? Well…I guess it's more like today, now," Ritchie asked.
"Well, one of the Lugias became the mind-controlled pawn of a mad scientist working for a gang bent on world domination then, too, but I somehow doubt this battle will be quite the same as that one…especially if all of Cherry's predictions stay true."
"I know that you're the only one who can purify Lugia due to your past with him, but I promise I'll do my best to support you any other way I can," Ritchie said.
"Including killing the legendary birds?" Ash asked.
"…I guess," Ritchie said reluctantly. "There's really no way around it, is there?"
"No," Ash said, narrowing his eyes. "There isn't."
"Then…I'll help with that, too," Ritchie said. "If they need to be put down that badly, then…then that's what I'll do." He sighed. "Mon, and I thought Judgment was bad news…from what I've seen and you've told me so far, though, they're not even in the Nihilators' league. I'm sorry you have to fight guys like that."
"You're going to be fighting them too," Ash pointed out.
"Yeah, but after we get to Fichina, we're going to have to go our separate ways," Ritchie reminded Ash. "You to continue the fight against the Nihilators, and me to resume my search for the Plates of Arceus…and to save Melody."
"…Yeah, that's true," Ash admitted.
"I would stay and help you if I could, you know that," Ritchie said. "But the Nihilators aren't the only threat to the world, even if they may be a bigger one at the moment."
"And you have to rescue the womon you love. I understand that," Ash said. He sighed. "At least you know exactly where she is, and how to save her, more or less. Well, okay, not exactly, since you don't know where Judgment's hideout is-"
"Yet," Ritchie interjected.
"Yet," Ash agreed. "But you will soon, and then you can go and save her. Misty? I have no idea where she is, or how to get to her. All I know is she's up there…somewhere," he said, waving vaguely at the night sky. "And that she's on her way back from apparently the other side of the Omniverse. I don't think we've EVER been this far apart." He sighed. "My friends are right. I shouldn't have kept denying what was between us and admitted my feelings for her long ago, like you and Melody did. If I had, maybe things would be different."
"Do you really think so?" Ritchie asked.
"I'd like to believe it," Ash said. "Our requited love might have been able to balance the darkness inside of me." The image of himself wreathed in darkness staring at her without any hint of recognition flashed through his mind, followed by the memory of him sobbing while cradling her blood-spattered form. He quickly suppressed that line of thought, knowing it wasn't helping.
"Maybe," Ritchie said, seeming to sense some hint of Ash's inner conflict. Then again, he was a Lucario just like Ash; they were good at reading emotions. "Hey, was Melody a human back then?"
Ash blinked at the change of subject. "Huh? Oh yeah, she helped me in that adventure where I became Lugia's Chosen One. I guess I forgot to mention that."
"Weird…" Ritchie muttered. "Is there anyone you know who isn't a reincarnation of someone from your past?"
"Quite a lot, actually. I mean, there were millions of people in the world back then, and there's millions of Pokémon now. There's no way I could have met all of them in either life," Ash said.
"Good point," Ritchie admitted. "Still, if that's the case, it's kind weird how many people you've met now that ARE people you used to know. I mean, it's a big world. They could have been reincarnated anywhere, couldn't they? And yet you keep running into them."
"It's one of the things I try not to think much about, otherwise I'd wind up like Pikachu," Ash said. "Let's just say its destiny and leave it at that. It's good enough for Leo."
"And Zippo," Ritchie agreed, smirking. "Arceus, those two are too much alike…"
"Yeah, it's amazing Pikachu hasn't exploded and/or killed them yet," Ash said.
"Sparky too," Ritchie said. They both laughed, the grimness of before dissipating…
And then there was a knock on the door. They paused and looked at each other in surprise. "Who could that be?" Ritchie asked. "At this hour, I thought the only ones out of their room would be the guards, and why would they be bothering us?"
"You and Cruise are out of your room," Ash pointed out.
"Yes, because you invited us," Ritchie said.
"Well, maybe one of our friends wanted to join us," Ash said. He closed his eyes to see whose Aura was outside…
And frowned. "That's…odd…"
"What is?" Ritchie asked.
"I don't sense any Aura outside. None at all," Ash said.
"What?" Ritchie closed his eyes to check for himself. His brow furrowed when he got the same results as Ash. "I…don't sense anything either. But…we both heard that knock. SOMEONE had to do that, and I'm almost positive there's nobody on this train who can hide from our Aura-sight. The ambient magic interferes a little, but it shouldn't keep us from seeing someone right outside…"
"Then who just knocked on the door?" Ash asked slowly. They stared at each other for a moment, and then rose off the bed, Ash automatically grabbing his staff. They cautiously made their way to the door and peered through the little window to see who was outside.
There was nobody there. "Okay, either we're hearing things, or something weird is going on…" Ash said.
"Maybe it's one of the Teleporters playing a prank?" Ritchie suggested.
"It could be," Ash said, not believing it. Neither did Ritchie.
"Should…should we go outside and look?" Ritchie asked uncertainly.
"No. If something…unfriendly has gotten onto the train, that's probably exactly what it wants," Ash said. "We're safer in here. The door can't be opened unless we open it ourselves, so it can't get in."
Ritchie frowned in alarm. "What, so you want us to just sit tight and let some invisible…thing we can't see prowl the train?"
"Would you rather go out there and fight an invisible thing we can't see?" Ash retorted.
"…Hmm. Point," Ritchie said reluctantly.
"We'll call the security team and see if they can't figure out what's going on. They know stuff about magic, maybe they'll be able to find it," Ash said.
"If they could, then wouldn't they have stopped it from getting onboard in the first place?" Ritchie said.
"…Well…maybe they'll know what to look for now," Ash said after a moment. "I know it's not a very good plan, but I don't think charging out there will help matters."
That's when they heard a knock on the door…except it wasn't their door, but the door for the room just a little way down the hall from them, where some of Ritchie's teammates were staying. "Huh? Whuzzat? Ugh, who could that be at this hour?" Captain Salty's muffled voice groaned from the other room. The knock grew louder and more insistent. "All right, all right, jus' a second…Zippo, go answer that, would you?"
"What? Why do I gotta do it?" the Charmeleon complained.
"Because you're closest to the door," Salty said.
"Oh, fine…lousy stupid Tentacool, making me get outta bed, and when I was having a good time spooning Rose, too…" Zippo grumbled.
Ash and Ritchie's eyes widened in horror. "ZIPPO! DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!" they both shouted.
"Huh? Ritchie, that you? You want me to open the door? Okay," Zippo, mishearing them due to the fact that they were yelling through several walls and he was really tired said as he reached for the door.
Ritchie glanced at Ash, who sighed in resignation. "…Arceusdammit! Fine, we're going out there!"
They opened the door and rushed out. There was a flash of light and a crackle of electricity, and then all was silent. Zippo opened the door and glanced outside. "Hello? Anybody there?" He looked up and down the hallway, but saw no one. "Grr…lousy stupid Teleporting pranksters…ruining my sleep and making me get out of bed…rassinfrassing grumblemumble stupidheads…I oughta invent something to put them in their place…yeah…that's a good idea…make them Teleport into a puddle of mud…serves 'em right, the way they so flagrantly tear the fabric of space and time to get wherever they want, while the rest of us gotta walk…" Muttering darkly under his breath, he shut the door and went back to bed.
Once it was certain nobody else was going to come into the hallway, the assassin moved off of Ash and Ritchie, whom it had spiderwebbed to the ceiling then covered with its own camouflaged body so that nobody would see them. It chuckled inwardly, and then paused when it heard Tiny and Cruise, apparently picking up on their parents' distress, start to stir. Too bad the door to their room had been left wide open, so there was nothing to protect them from the same monster that had gotten their fathers…laughing to itself, the assassin dropped from the ceiling and scurried through the open door, ready to add two more prey to its collection.
…
The Enchanted Express got the strangest feeling that something was wrong inside of it.
Then it forgot about it.
It saw Ash and Ritchie, then Tiny and Cruise, get attacked by an assailant that was curiously invisible to its senses.
Then it forgot about it.
It saw Cherry open the door to her room, then get a surprised look on her face just before she was engulfed in an electrified web, the words, "This wasn't supposed to happen," barely making it past her lips before she was ensnared, followed swiftly by Rebecca.
Then it forgot about it.
It felt some foreign entity or entities trying to open the door to the VIP car where the Duchess and her retinue were staying, only to fail due to the security spells being too strong to be completely fooled by whatever stealth gear the invaders were using. It prepared to alert its security personnel…
Then it forgot about it.
It saw the unconscious Ash, Ritchie, Tiny, Cruise, Cherry, and Rebecca being dragged through the halls in crackling nets that somehow disappeared whenever a guard approached that mysteriously passed through doors that shouldn't be opening. It prepared to alert security…
Then it forgot about it. It forgot about a lot of things that night, and forgot that it was even forgetting them. Doctor Tarantulas had used all the knowledge of magic that he'd gleaned from Bellum and several experiments he'd been working on to use against her for pranks and to kill her if Oblivion's Shadow ever gave him permission to in designing the suits his assassins were wearing. The mind-wipe technology and spells that had been used in the stealth gear was very potent, albeit extremely difficult to make, and triggered whenever one of his minions did something that would normally cause alarms to start blaring all throughout the length of the train, such as invisibly going through doors or attacking passengers, wiping the security enchantments' memory of the event. There were limits to how much of this they could do before the train finally caught on, but so long as they were careful—which they were trying their hardest to be—they had no worry of being noticed. As such, the train had no idea that something sinister was happening inside itself, or rather it did know, several times, but always forgot about it.
The only thing it did remember was that six of its passengers were now, for some reason, in the luggage car. It didn't know what they were doing there at this hour, but they were passengers, and beyond the comprehensions of a semi-sentient magical machine like the Enchanted Express. It put the matter out of its mind and continued contentedly chugging along towards Fichina, totally unaware of the evil lurking within it.
Then it became aware of it. But it forgot about it again right afterwards, so it didn't make any difference.
…
The next morning…
Once everyone had woken up and gathered in the dining car, breakfast was a bit of a subdued affair. While the passengers of the Enchanted Express had recovered physically for the most part from the intense battle yesterday, in many ways they were still somewhat emotionally drained, so couldn't really work up the enthusiasm to talk much. The fact that they knew, to the exact minute, when Doctor Tarantulas was going to launch his massive attack kind of weighed down on them and made it a little difficult to start a conversation. What could they talk about, really, when they had something like that looming over their heads? They'd already spent a good chunk of the previous night plotting and planning and making all the preparations they could think of for the fight based on Cherry's predictions, so there wasn't really any point in rehashing it except to further a sense of paranoia. Leo and Zippo made a few feeble attempts to start a nonsensical discussion, but nobody else was really in the mood, so in the end they went uncharacteristically quiet as well. They ate in silence…
Until Pikachu noticed something was wrong. "Where are Ash and Tiny? Shouldn't they have gotten up by now to join us?"
Sparky frowned. "Ritchie and Cruise, too. Which is odd…they can sleep in sometimes, but they're usually never late to a meal, and they know how important today is."
"Come to think of it, they never came back from Ash's room last night…" Rose recalled.
"Although they tried to prank us last night by knocking on the door then running off before we could catch them. Very immature!" Zippo said sourly.
"Isn't that the exact same sort of thing you like to do all the time?" Lu asked.
"No, my pranks are much more elaborate! I would have rigged the door to launch a pie in the face of whoever opened it, or maybe a bucket of paint," Zippo said.
Leo nodded. "Yeah, me too!" His friends sweatdropped.
"Not a bucket of water?" Buck asked.
"I'm a Fire type. I don't like water," Zippo pointed out.
Sasha frowned. "That's odd…Pranking doesn't sound like Ash's style."
"Ritchie's too. He's too straight-laced for that," Lu agreed.
"Well it must have been them, we could hear them yelling at us to open the door!" Zippo said. "Woke me up, too. And I was having a good dream! Rose was in it."
"I-I was?" Rose asked, blushing.
"Well, duh, of course you were!" Zippo said, neglecting to mention she hadn't been the only one in the dream.
"…You're sure that's exactly what they said? And that it was them at the door?" Briney asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
Zippo hesitated. "…Well, no, I guess not. It was kind of hard to hear…and I didn't look through the window to see who was there, but…who else could it have been?"
"…I do not like this," Sasha murmured, looking uneasy. "Something feels…wrong."
"What, you mean aside from the fact that we're about to be in one of the biggest battles of our lives?" Leo asked.
"Yes," Sasha said with a frown. Naturally, this put a lot of frowns on other people's faces as well, since they knew by now not to ignore the omens of an Absol.
Those four are not the only ones who are missing, Dawn said abruptly. Someone else is absent too.
"What? But who's not here?" Todd asked, looking around in surprise. Everyone was accounted for…weren't they? Then again, there were so many of them sometimes it was hard to keep track…
"Dean and Vladimir aren't here, but that's unsurprising, since they really don't like the sunlight," Diane observed.
"Of course, that won't necessarily keep them from joining us when the time comes, assuming everything goes as planned," Butler said, not looking as if he believed it would.
"They aren't the only ones who are absent," Looker said suddenly. "Rebecca and Cherry aren't here either."
Alarmed looks passed over everyone's faces as they realized this. "Well…so what? Maybe they're all just sleeping in?" Silvia suggested, although she didn't sound as if she believed it.
"Knowing what we're going to be facing in…a very short amount of time? I don't think so…" Goldor murmured.
"There's an easy way to check," Sasha said.
"Lowering the anti-mind reading wards?" Briney asked hopefully.
"No, we can just use our badges to see where they are," Lily said. "Well, Ash and Tiny, anyway, but if we know where they are, we can probably find Ritchie and Cruise, too."
"Oh. Right," Briney said, looking disappointed.
"What about Cherry and Rebecca?" Todd asked.
"One step at a time," Leo said.
Pikachu flipped open his badge and studied it for a moment. He frowned. "Well, nothing odd here. According to this, they're still in their room. I guess they were sleeping late, after all."
"Huh, think they stayed up too late into the night partying or telling secrets or whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears?" Leo asked. Everyone stared at him. "What? Like none of you thought of that, either?"
"I'll just wake them up," Pikachu said loudly. "Ash, Tiny, time to get up. You're missing breakfast and we're going to be running into Tarantulas shortly. Get on down here." There was no reply. Pikachu frowned and shook his badge. "Ash? Tiny? Hello? This is Pikachu. Do you read me?" There was no reply. Concerned, Pikachu handed the badge to Leo. "Is there something wrong with this thing's speakers? Can they not hear me?"
Leo checked it over carefully. "No, no, everything's fine on our end, which means that either theirs are broken—which I'm pretty sure is impossible, considering all the tune-ups I've given them—or they can't answer for some reason."
Sasha tensed, her danger-sense tingling. "The only reason they would not answer is if…there were something keeping them from answering."
"Like being dead?" Buck cried in alarm.
"Or maybe not being there at all," Looker said.
"But their badges are in their rooms. Why would they have gone somewhere without them?" Lily asked.
"Yeah, I certainly never go anywhere without my badge," Sam said. "I even take it into the shower with me, to make sure Max doesn't try and eat it while I'm not looking."
"They might not have had a choice," Pikachu said slowly, a deep sense of dread washing over him and everyone else in the room.
"Hang on." Bruno walked over to a wall and placed his hand over a rune that activated a two-way communications link with the security center just behind the engine room. "Hey guys, do you know where Ash, Tiny, Ritchie, Cruise, Cherry and Rebecca are? They aren't here with the rest of us for some reason. Team Aurabolt's badges indicate Ash and Tiny should be in their room, but…they aren't responding…"
"Sure, give me a second," the voice on the other end said. There was a pause. "Huh…that's odd. According to my readings, all six of them are in the luggage car. In fact, it looks like they've been there for several hours. Just got up in the middle of the night and went there for some reason."
A chill ran down Bruno's spine. "And you didn't have anyone check on that? It didn't seem the least bit suspicious?"
"Oh no, it did. But none of our alarms went off, and it wouldn't be the first time a bunch of passengers abruptly got up in the early hours of morning and decided to go to the luggage car to check their bags or have a, ah, private rendezvous, so we didn't think much of it. Although…I'm reviewing footage for the last few hours, and I can't seem to find any sign of them actually leaving their rooms, although recordings of their bio-signatures indicates they moved from one place to another, which is how we knew they went there in the first place. In fact…in fact…oh crap, this can't be good…"
"What?" Bruno demanded as the others started glancing at each other worriedly.
"Um…I'm looking at live footage from the luggage car now, and…there's nobody there. But bio-readings show they are there, which means either there's something wrong with the system, or-"
"Or we've been boarded," Bruno whispered. Everyone gasped.
"But…but how? I thought this train was supposed to be impossible to break into!" Silvia protested in horror.
"Brodie got on," Buck pointed out.
"Yes, but he had Bellum's help, and in the condition she was in after the battle was over, I doubt she could have done something like that again!" Silvia said.
"Wait…he's still on the train. Could he have gotten out somehow?" George asked, a worrying thought occurring to her.
Fantina closed her eyes briefly. "No, ze wards I used to imprison 'im are still intact. If zey 'ad broken, I would 'ave known of it."
"Well, that's one bit of good news," said a relieved Pikachu.
Yes, it just means that we have another villain running around the train that we've failed to notice, Dawn said, causing Pikachu to grimace.
"How could someone get on board without even setting off an alarm? I thought this place was lousy with those!" Zippo protested. "And by lousy I meant they're everywhere, not that they're bad, although if someone was able to get on that easily they might as well be lousy in the bad way."
"Oh, they are," Palmer said. "Everywhere, I mean. Not bad." Everyone looked at him. "Er…or so I've heard…it's not like I tested them or anything…" Dawn rolled her eyes.
"And yet someone appears to have somehow gotten onto the train, while we were moving, without being seen, and has apparently captured some of us and taken them to the luggage car," Looker said.
"Well, that does it, I'm suing the train company when we get back to Fichina. I was promised absolute security for this trip, and so far we've had anything but!" Goldor said in exasperation. "I'm astonished we weren't all killed in our sleep, to be honest!"
"Zat's a good question, actually," Bow said, looking concerned. "Why weren't we killed in our sleep?"
"No matter how good their stealth is—and it sounds like it's very good—there's no way they could pull that off without sounding the alarm. The train would have detected something like one of us getting killed, in spite of the other measures our invaders are somehow using to avoid being spotted, and then the jig would have been up," Butler said.
"Well, it's certainly up now!" Diane said.
"But how did they manage to get Cherry? Shouldn't she have foreseen this?" asked a puzzled Pikachu.
"Better yet, shouldn't she have told us this was going to happen?" asked a worried Sparky, wondering what else might happen that the Girafarig had either deigned not to mention, or worse, hadn't predicted at all.
"Well…there are ways to block an oracle's sight…" Lily said anxiously.
"What? And you're just telling us this now?" cried the shocked Bruno.
Lily flushed. "W-well, since her view of today seemed so clear, I didn't think there was anything to worry about…"
"If there are ways to block an oracle's foresight, why didn't Bellum use them yesterday?" Salty asked.
"Because Bellum was too obsessed wiz me to consider zat we might 'ave some way of anticipating what she might zrow at us," Fantina said darkly. "But zey must know by now of Cherry's talents, so it is not unzinkable zat zey might 'ave learned from Bellum's mistakes and found some way to circumvent zem…"
"What? But if that's the case, then…then what else did she miss? Does this mean all our preparations were for naught, and the Nihilators are going to hit us with something completely unexpected?" cried an alarmed Silvia.
"That's probably not the case, because if it were, then her vision of the future wouldn't have been as clear as it was," Lily said. "I think. However, it looks as if Tarantulas is trying to change that future…"
"Well, if he is, I can understand why this invisible agent abducted Cherry, to keep us from using her to figure out his next move. But why the others?" Happy asked.
"Rebecca and Cherry were in the same room, so they couldn't snatch one without doing something to make sure the other didn't sound the alarm," Sasha reasoned.
"And they must have done the same for Ritchie, Tiny, and Cruise…and they went after Ash because he's the only one who can purify Shadow Lugia, and possibly kill the elemental birds!" Leo realized.
"That's not good…" Looker murmured. "A lot of our strategy hinges on Ash keeping those birds from interfering with our maneuvers. If he's not there to stop them…"
"That's why we're going to rescue him and the others," Briney said, cracking his knuckles. "Right now."
"Sounds good to me!" Sam, who had decided to stay on the train after all, said as he pulled out his gun, causing everyone to duck in alarm as he started waving it around haphazardly. "I was looking forward to starting off the day with the smell of gunpowder filling my nose! And Glazed McGuffins."
"Glazed McGuffins?" Todd asked slowly.
"Yeah, they're one of his favorite treats," Zippo said.
"Ah," Todd said, wisely deciding not to inquire how Zippo knew that…or why Leo was nodding in agreement. By now he'd learned it wasn't worth inquiring into such matters.
"I don't think we have much time left until Tarantulas gets here, so let's deal with this quickly so we don't have another thing to worry about," Bruno said, heading for the door.
"Um, speaking of worrying, something just occurred to me," Buck said uneasily.
"What is it, dear?" Silvia asked.
"Well…whatever got onto the train can apparently make itself invisible to visual and magical sensors, so it's completely undetectable. How do we know there isn't more than one of it, and that it might not be in the room right now, watching us?" the Baltoy asked.
There was a long silence. Then everyone swiftly rose to their feet, drew their weapons, and stood back-to-back, anxiously scanning the room around them. Nothing happened. Nothing lunged out to attack them. Nothing materialized from thin air to strike. Nothing appeared from the shadows or from behind them or from above them. There was nothing in the room aside from them…absolutely nothing, as far as they could see.
That just made it all the more frightening. "I don't sense anyzing," Fantina said.
"I don't see anything hidden," Butler said, eye glowing as he used Foresight.
I hear no heartbeats or feel any vibrations, Dawn said, ears twitching.
"Security, do we have company in here?" Bruno asked loudly.
"We can't pick up any bio-signatures other than your own. But, uh, if we've really got something on board that's avoiding our sensors, that doesn't necessarily mean anything," was the reply. Bruno cursed under his breath.
"If you shut off the anti-mind-reading wards, maybe we Psychics could pick up something," Briney said a little too eagerly.
"Briney, if their stealth is good enough to avoid being detected magically, don't you think they'd have considered anti-Psychic screening too?" Pikachu asked.
"…Yeah, I know. It was worth a try…" Briney grumbled.
"Sasha, do you sense anything?" Lily asked.
Sasha concentrated. "…There's…something. It's…difficult for me to make out. How odd. Usually, when I detect the proximity of danger, it's not so…vague…"
"Well, if these guys were able to avoid being picked up by Cherry's prescience, I guess it's not too much of a leap to think it might have the same effect on your danger-sense, which I suppose is also a form of prediction," Pikachu said with a sigh.
"Leo, what about your shades?" Lily asked, getting an idea.
Leo blinked. "Huh? What about them?"
"Can't you see almost anything with them? Things that are hidden, I mean?" Lily asked.
"…Yatta! Of course! I can't believe I didn't think of that!" Leo said, retracting his head into his shell and popping back out wearing his signature sunglasses. "Aaaand…crap."
"What? Do you see something?" George asked.
"Um…a lot of somethings. As in, two dozen Joltiks," Leo said in a strangled tone.
"Oh, is zat all?" asked a relieved Bow.
"…'Is that all?' We're surrounded and almost outnumbered by an invisible horde of bugs!" Sparky asked incredulously.
"Yeah, but at least they're Joltiks. Not, you know, invisible Scythers, or invisible Weaviles, or invisible Kabutops. You know, something that'd make a good assassin," Zippo said reasonably.
"Not necessarily. Individually, Joltik may not be that big a problem, but en masse they can be difficult to overcome," Lu said, knowing a thing or two about assassins since, you know, she was one. "Additionally, while a group of invisible Joltik may not be good at killing something, they would be excellent at capturing something alive…"
"Just like they captured Ritchie and Cruise and the others!" Rose realized.
"So why haven't they captured all of us? Or tried to engage us?" Goldor asked, looking about anxiously.
"Because even if they outnumber us and have the advantage of stealth, we're still stronger than them. Their invisibility is the only advantage they have," Looker said.
"Which isn't much of one now, since I can see them!" Leo said.
"So…if they know we know they're here, why aren't they attacking us yet?" George asked. As if on cue, suddenly bolts of lightning lashed out towards them from all over the room. "Ah. Stupid question."
"Attack!" Fantina shouted, launching a volley of powerful fire magic. That set everyone off, and they lambasted the dining car with spells and energy blasts and lightning bolts and balls of fire and water and ice and massive lasers and arrows and bullets and toxic needles. By the time the smoke cleared, they'd reduced pretty much every piece of furniture and most of the lovely decorations in the room to ashes.
"Did we get them?" Sasha asked breathlessly.
"Ah…no. We missed every single one of them," Leo said.
"What? How? We hit everything!" protested an incredulous Briney.
"Everything but the table we're standing with our backs to, which they jumped onto the second we started opening fire on everything else," Leo said.
In a millisecond, the table was completely vaporized. "Did that get them?" Goldor demanded. In reply, several dozen lightning bolts shot towards them. "Oh, come on!"
They quickly raised barriers, shielding themselves with Protects and defensive spells. "This is ridiculous! How are we supposed to fight something we can't see?" Buck said in frustration.
"If only I had that special see-anything lens…but I could never afford it on a lowly newspaper photographer's salary," Todd lamented.
"Easy, we'll just spray the room with insecticide," Leo said, reaching into his shell.
"Ahem," Happy said loudly.
"Oh. Ah, or not," he said quickly.
"Actually, I may have a better idea," Happy said, taking out the Insect Plate. "'Two beings of Time and Space set free from the Original One!' Insect Plate, Armor Up!" She slapped the Plate onto her chest, donning her armor in a flash of light.
"So cool…I still want one of those!" Leo whined.
"Very stylish, but 'ow is zat supposed to 'elp us?" Bow asked.
"Like this," Happy said, her wings vibrating and emitting a low-frequency buzz that filled the room. The air started flickering, and one by one a Joltik clad in a full-body black suit of a material that seemed to absorb all the light in the room appeared, their four blue eyes covered in red lenses. They chattered in alarm and tried to scurry away, but Happy increased the intensity of her vibration, and they stiffened in place.
"Oooh, neat!" Todd said, snapping a picture.
"What the…how are you doing that?" Pikachu asked.
"The Insect Plate allows Happy to control all Bug Pokémon," Sparky explained.
"Whoa, cool!" Buck gushed.
"Wait…does that mean the other Plates can also control all Pokémon of the same Type?" Looker asked in alarm.
"Um…yeah, pretty much," Zippo admitted. "Except for legendaries and other godlike mons, that is."
"Why do you think Judgment is so keen on getting them? With all seventeen in their possession, they could very easily rule the world," Lu said.
"…Wait, but then why aren't the Nihilators interested in them?" Sasha asked.
Rose shrugged. "Because they want to destroy the world rather than rule it? I dunno, who can tell with guys like that?"
"True," Pikachu said. An idea occurred to him. "Say, do you think we could use that Plate's power to make Tarantulas stop?"
Happy shook her head apologetically. "Sorry, if he's anything like our Doctor Blackarachnia, it won't work. She was more machine than mon, so my Plate had no effect on her."
"Well, our bad Doctor's mostly mechanical too, so you're probably right," Leo lamented. "Oh well, worth a try."
"Now, if we had the Iron Plate, that'd be another story," Lu said.
"Unfortunately, Judgment has that, so we're out of luck on that front," Salty said.
"All right," Sam growled, strolling over to one of the immobilized Joltik. "Time for a little 'interrogation…'"
"Ah, that won't be necessary," Sparky said quickly, remembering how Sam's last 'interrogation' went. "Happy can make them tell us whatever we want. Right, Happy?"
"Um, yes, right," Happy said. Her buzz started modulating slightly. "Tell us what you're doing here, and how you were able to get onto this train!" she ordered the Joltik.
They shuddered and, reluctantly, began to speak. "Doctor Tarantulas sent us…" one Attaching Pokémon said.
"He feared what Oblivion's Shadow would do if he failed like Bellum…" said another.
"Ooh, what did he do to Bellum? We want all the gory details!" Leo said eagerly.
"Leo!" Lily hissed.
"What? You mean to tell me you don't want to know how badly your Mom got beaten, after all the hurt she's put you through?" Leo asked incredulously.
"I…" Lily shrank. "N-no. I don't take pleasure from that sort of thing…"
Fantina nodded approvingly. "Neizer do I. Zat she was punished is good enough for me."
"…Eh, I guess you're right," Leo said reluctantly.
"Bitch had it coming," Bruno grunted. Lu and George coughed loudly. "Er…trollop had it coming?" he amended quickly. They nodded, mollified.
"Mom, what's a trollop?" Buck asked.
Silvia froze. "Er…"
"A female troll," Goldor said quickly.
Buck blinked. "…Trolls have females? I didn't see any during the fight yesterday!"
"Well, there's pretty much as many different kinds of trolls as there are worlds for them to grow on for some reason," Leo said.
Zippo nodded. "Yeah, they have a much broader range of variation than most fantasy creatures that I know of. It's perfectly plausible that some variants of trolls have females, but others don't."
"Oh. And the ones we fought yesterday don't?" Buck asked.
"Well, considering that they told us that they sprout fully-formed from the armpits, toe joints, and other crevices of a frost giant's body, probably not," Sam said.
Everyone made disgusted faces. "Seriously? That's kind of…messed up," Todd said.
"Eh, I've heard of worse," Leo said, unimpressed.
"It actually sounds more pleasant than normal reproduction," Lily said.
"Reproduction isn't so bad, dear. I should know, I've done it over 'alf a dozen times!" Fantina said cheerfully. Lily grimaced.
"Not that this biology lesson isn't fascinating, but weren't we in the middle of an interrogation here?" Briney asked.
"Oh, right. Um, you were saying the Doctor was afraid?" Happy asked the Joltik.
"He decided to take precautions so that he would not lose like Bellum, so dispatched us with orders to capture the Lucario called 'Ash' and the oracle known as Cherry, because he believed they posed some of the greatest threats to him; the Lucario because of his connection to Lugia, and the oracle because she could possibly foresee and counter his every move," one of the bugs said.
"He gave us and our mother these experimental stealth suits that he designed to be immune to most sensory technology or magic so we could get on the train undetected," one more said.
"Your mother? Who is that?" Happy asked.
"A Galvantula named Denchu…she has served under the Doctor as an assassin and abductor and fancied him for years, and hoped that succeeding in this mission would finally win her his heart," a Joltik said.
There was a disturbed silence at this news. "…What? Seriously?" asked a disgusted Leo.
"That's…that's wrong on so many levels," Pikachu said, making a face.
"Who in their right minds would have a crush on that nutjob?" Briney asked.
"This is a Nihilator we're talking about. Doesn't that mean they're not in their right mind?" Sasha pointed out logically.
It would never work anyways, I'm fairly certain he only has eyes for that disgusting assistant of his, Dawn said.
"Well, that's rather…sickening, but it could be worse," Lily said.
"'ow?" Bow asked.
"There are a surprisingly large number of people who think Tarantulas should get together with my mother," Lily said.
There was an even more disturbed silence as everyone pondered this for a moment. "…Yeah, I'm gonna need some brain bleach for that," Zippo said.
"I think I just threw up a little inside my mouth," Goldor said.
"You don't have a mouth," Looker said.
"Oh, and how would you know, hmm?" Goldor replied.
"Well, zat was a zought too revolting even for me…and suffice it to say, I'm not particularly squeamish when it comes to zings like zat," Fantina said after a moment.
"Briney, I don't suppose you could erase our memories of that mental image later?" Pikachu pleaded.
Briney perked up at this. "I'd be happy to! And I don't suppose everyone else would be willing to lower their mental shields so I could…"
"Too late, already took care of it," Silvia said, casting a spell on herself.
"Ahhh, zank goodness for memory charms," Bow said in relief as just about every other magic-user in the dining car erased their memories to forget the horrible prospect of Bellum and Tarantulas as a couple. (Yes, even Todd. He's a photographer, they have to know how to edit and revise their photos, right?) Those who didn't have that luxury were more than a little envious, or in Briney's case disappointed.
"Anyway," Pikachu said loudly. "Back on subject. So Tarantulas sent you guys to take out Ash and Cherry. Why just them, and why didn't you kill them?"
"I already said why," Butler said.
"Yes, but I'd like to hear it from them," Pikachu said. "As in, do they have orders to put an end to their lives, or what? What exactly are they trying to accomplish here?"
"The Lucario and the Girafarig are our primary targets, next to the vampire escapees," a Joltik said. "We attempted to gain access to the vampires, but found the security was too strong even for our suits, so had to fall back on our other targets instead. We took those they were in close proximity with to keep them from sounding the alarm."
"Well, it's good to know our car was as secure as advertised," Diane said.
"Yes, so why isn't ours?" Goldor complained.
"You aren't VIPs," Butler said.
"I'm a Very Important Pokemon!" Goldor protested.
"Not as Important as Her Grace," Butler countered. Goldor fumed angrily.
"What about Brodie?" Sparky asked.
The Joltik blinked. "What about Brodie?"
"Weren't you going to rescue him? He's one of your guys, isn't he?" Rose asked.
"…Why would we do that?" asked the confused Joltik.
Briney laughed. "You're asking the wrong person. Nihilators don't rescue their own. In fact, they'd probably have killed Brodie by now for his failure to assassinate us if it weren't for his immortality or those wards keeping him locked up, since I doubt they could have broken them without alerting Fantina."
"Zat's right, zey couldn't 'ave," Fantina agreed.
"Then what, they were just going to leave him here?" Rose asked distastefully. "Not even Judgment abandons their own!"
"Well, that's not technically true, they usually carry suicide pills to keep themselves from being captured," Lu corrected her.
"Well, yeah, but they try to rescue people too important to let die," Rose said.
"Yes, but Brodie can't die. He's a Ditto, they're immortal," Briney pointed out.
"So…what, they were gonna leave him in his cabin until Tarantulas showed up to destroy us all and pick him out of the wreckage?" Zippo asked.
"Yeah, that sounds about right," Leo said.
"Okay, that's Brodie, but what about the passengers you've abducted? What do you want with them?" Sam asked their captives.
"Ash is wanted alive, or at least in one piece, by Lord Shadow," one of the Joltik said when prompted by Happy. "We were supposed to kill the oracle after getting them off the train, but Mother wanted to interrogate her first."
"To find out what we know about Tarantulas' plans?" Looker asked.
"That, and to find out if she's going to wind up with the Doctor," a Joltik said.
There was another long, very awkward pause. "What," Sam said.
"She was hoping the oracle could peer into the future and see if she and the Doctor get together," the Joltik repeated.
Everyone made disgusted faces again. "Well, there's another horrible image I didn't need to think about," Pikachu muttered.
"Not necessarily, maybe she would eat him after they got married," Leo said optimistically. "Don't some female spiders do that?" The others considered this and agreed that this was a far more palatable concept to try and comprehend.
"Is that why she hasn't jumped the train yet?" Bruno asked.
"That, and because if she did that too soon it would have sounded the alarm. Plus, we aren't at the rendezvous point yet," a Joltik said.
"How far are we from the rendezvous point?" Sparky asked.
The train shook briefly. "We just reached it," the Joltik said maliciously.
"Er, sorry to give you more bad news, but, um, the luggage car just detached from the train," the Pokemon in the security room said Mareepishly over the intercom.
"WHAT?" everyone shouted.
"Oh no, my jewelry!" Silvia cried.
"My toys!" Buck cried.
"My money!" Goldor wailed.
"My photography equipment!" Todd yelled.
"My wardrobe!" Bow moaned.
"I zought zere were safeguards against somezing like zat!" Fantina protested.
"Uh, there are supposed to be. Except right now they, ah, don't seem to be working. Boy, is my face red…not that you can see it…" the security mon said.
"Yeah, I'm definitely suing the train company," Goldor said.
"I'm starting to consider 'elping you," Fantina muttered darkly.
"Activate the emergency recall! Don't let them get away!" Bruno shouted.
"On it...OH CRAP!" the security mon shouted. "We've got incoming!"
Everyone looked out the windows just in time to see a flash of light fly past, an explosion occurring somewhere behind them. "Ha, they missed!" George said once the train stopped shaking.
"Actually, I think they just blew up the tracks behind us so we can't catch the luggage car," Looker said.
"…Oh," George said. "Crap."
Pikachu stiffened. "Leo! What time is it?"
"Huh? It's…" Leo checked his watch and paled. "Oh crap! It's…"
"The time Cherry told us Tarantulas was going to launch his attack!" Sasha realized.
"And because we spent so long worrying and panicking and yakking it up with this lot, we wasted time we could've used finishing our preparations or saving Ash and the others!" Briney swore angrily.
The Joltik chittered malevolently. "Exactly! And now there is nothing you can do to save yourselves from the Doctor's wrath!"
"Quiet! You've said enough already!" Happy said angrily, eyes glowing as the vibrations from her wings took on a discordant buzz, causing the evil bugs to hiss in pain.
A familiar maniacal laughter echoed across the desert and filled the ears of the train's passengers as missiles rained down all over the place, chaotically blasting tremendous chunks out of the landscape. "Attention, Enchanted Express!" Doctor Tarantulas' voice boomed as the air shimmered and suddenly a HUGE black spherical battleship bristling with weapons and antenna so big it blotted out the sun and cast the region in shadow appeared. "I am Doctor Tarantulas, second-in-command and chief science officer of ze Nihilator secret society! You are harboring fugitives of our organization and have committed numerous crimes against members of our order! And for zat, ze penalty…"
Steam hissed from numerous seams along the circumference of the giant black orb. Slowly, eight immense curved panels slid out from the sides of the sphere and bent, perforations splitting them horizontally to reveal numerous metal cables, pistons, cylinders, and immense joints, glowing antigravity nacelles sprouting from their sides to keep the contraptions from collapsing under their own weight. The jointed panels lowered to the ground, the joints and pivots connecting their sections growing longer and folding back on themselves repeatedly until they formed huge arachnid legs, each of which was at least two-thirds as tall as the frost giants they had defeated the previous day. As the immense barbed prongs at the tips of each leg made contact with the ground, the earth shook and rippled outwards from the point of impact, for a moment taking on a similar consistency to water due to the strength and weight of the mechanical appendages, rocking the train, which was directly underneath the sphere and thus at the epicenter of the shockwaves, fiercely and knocking the passengers about. The bottom of the sphere split open as well, metal panels unfolding outwards like the peeling skin of an Oran Berry, revealing an ominous concave space with thousands of menacing barbs and spears and other pointed instruments jutting outwards, rotating constantly in clockwise and counter-clockwise circles around a gargantuan crimson energy core crackling with power that bathed the sands and the train running underneath it in a glow the same hue as blood. A final, much thinner segmented appendage unfolded from the upper half of the sphere, but rather than arcing downwards like the spider legs, this one rose upwards, terminating in a wedge-shaped module with numerous eye-like ports on its front and a fanged 'jaw' that unhinged to reveal a tremendous cannon. "Is DEAZH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The passengers stared up at the giant arachnid automaton poised over them incredulously. "Sacre bleu," Fantina said after a moment.
"Holy crap," Pikachu said faintly.
"Nothing holy about that thing," Sparky said, making the sign of the Wheel.
"How can a machine so big even exist?" wondered an astonished Sasha.
"And for that matter, where did they get the resources to make such a contraption? It would take billions, if not TRILLIONS of Poké!" said an astounded Goldor.
"I don't know if I should be gushing about the fact that it's a humongous mecha, or screaming because it's an EVIL humongous mecha," Leo said.
"How about both?" Zippo suggested.
"Eh, works for me," Leo said. "Hey, doesn't this remind you of that one Western?"
"Which one?" Zippo asked.
"The wild, wild, wild one," Leo said.
"Ohhhh, yeah, I remember that movie," Zippo said. He frowned. "It was kinda weird."
"Yeah, but it had a giant steampunk spider robot! That totally made up for everything else!" Leo said giddily.
"Yeah, definitely," Zippo agreed.
"Oh, wow," Todd gasped, snapping tons of pictures.
Cherry told us it would be big, but…I did not think it would be this big! Dawn clicked.
"Eh, I've seen bigger," Sam said diffidently. George stared at him incredulously.
The Joltiks started laughing. "Do you see now? You are doomed! You cannot possibly hope to defeat us! No matter how many of us you kill, we will just keep coming, with stronger and deadlier weapons, until all perish before us!"
"But you'll perish too," Palmer pointed out.
"What of it? We shall be rewarded in the next life for our service to the Nihilator cause! And when the great Door opens, we shall swarm back into this world and destroy everything as the Ruler of Evil's vanguard!" a Joltik taunted.
Salty snorted. "Another religious nutjob. Typical. Just like Judgment!"
"Why do so many evildoers persist in the belief that they will be lauded for their sins once they make it to the afterlife, rather than punished?" Lu complained.
"Actually, it's not hyperbole, the Nihilators made a deal with Giratina so that any of them who die get a pretty good reception when they land in the Abyss," Briney said unhappily.
"…Oh. That's…irksome," Lu said with a frown.
"Tell me about it," Briney grunted.
"The bigger they are, the harder they fall," Bruno said, smacking his fists together. "We took down three frost giants, we can take down this thing too."
"Perhaps…but can you take down the others too?" the Joltik sneered.
"If you surrender now, your deazhs vill be svift, albeit excruciatingly painful," Tarantulas continued. "Refuse…and you'll have to deal viz zis!" The air around the giant spider-ship shimmered, and suddenly a couple of hundred heavily-armed battleships flying the Nihilator colors, the largest of them the size of aircraft carriers, appeared in the air, the bellows from their engines causing the ground to tremble and indigenous Pokemon to flee in terror. "Behold, ze pride of ze Nihilator air fleet!" Tarantulas cackled as the passengers gawked out the windows at the airborne armada. "No nation in ze vorld can vizstand our might…so vhat hope do a few measly Pokemon and a magic train have against us? Bwahahahahahahahaha!"
"…Well, that's new," Sam said after a moment.
"Again, where did they get the resources to build those?" Goldor asked incredulously. "That fleet looks to be the size of the entire air force of some of the world's most powerful nations! And where could they build those without anyone noticing?"
"Offscreen villain dark matter," Leo said.
"What?" Goldor blinked in confusion.
"Offscreen villain dark matter," Leo repeated.
"…What in magic's name is that?" Goldor demanded.
"Astrophysicists speculate that out in the universe is something called 'dark matter,' substances that can't be directly observed but must exist if the universe keeps working the way we believe it does," Leo explained.
"…And what does that have to do with this enormous battle fleet and giant robot spider?" asked the confused Pikachu, knowing he was going to regret it.
"Every time a supervillain's latest doomsday device or evil lair explodes, they've always got a new one ready in, like, a week or so," Zippo said. "The only way they could possibly fund it and still be taken seriously despite countless setbacks is for them to have numerous successful operations going on simultaneously that we're not seeing, much like dark matter has never been observed, yet it must exist."
They considered this for a moment. "That…almost makes sense," said a disturbed Todd.
"Yeah, that sounds about right for a criminal organization, though usually they wouldn't be able to pull off something THIS big," Looker admitted.
"Well, maybe they're just…I dunno, magic-ing it out of thin air or something? I mean, they've got Bellum, they must have other mages too," Salty said.
"Magic doesn't work that way," Rose said.
"Maybe nobody told them that?" Zippo suggested.
"Well, I can make zings out of zin air, but nozing on zat scale," Fantina said. "Yet."
"Look, it doesn't matter how they managed to manufacture this many ships, what we need to focus on is how we're going to destroy them," Bruno said, trying to get everyone back on track. "Cherry gave us a plan on how to take them on. Can it still work?"
"Well, I think all the modifications we made to the train last night should still be effective," Diane said.
"However, we've lost six of our strongest and most vital fighters, which may make things a bit more complicated," Butler said.
We could try and get them back, Dawn suggested.
"That may be a bit of a problem," Lu commented as the luggage car abruptly flew by the window, being carried up into the belly of the giant spider robot by a tractor beam.
"I don't suppose we could use the emergency recall tether to pull it back?" Buck asked.
"No, I'm fairly certain playing tug-of-war with something that big will end rather badly for us," Butler said.
"Dammit," Pikachu said. "Okay, I think we're going to have to modify our plans a little. Todd, you fly after them and try to rescue them."
"What? Me? Why do I have to go up there?" Todd cried in astonishment.
"Because you're the most expendable person here," Pikachu said.
"…Oh, gee, thanks!" Todd said, looking upset.
"He means you're the only Pokemon we can afford to let go, we need everyone else here to keep the train running and fight off the Nihilators," Palmer explained.
"Oh," Todd said. "But…you can't expect me to go out there by myself! I'm the least combat-capable! All those ships and the giant spider will tear me apart!"
"Hmm. He has a point," Briney admitted.
"Is there anyone we can spare to go with him, though?" George asked doubtfully.
"Actually, I think I have an idea," Happy said, squinting and squeezing her claws in concentration. Her body trembled, and abruptly her armor hardened and turned brittle. With a loud crack, it slid off of her, revealing…that she was still wearing her armor underneath it. The hollow shed husk resembling her form floated into the air and hovered beside her silently. "There. This should give you some help."
Everyone stared at the…thing Happy had just created in disbelief. "…What the heck is that?" wondered the horrified and disgusted Todd.
"Well, you know how when Nincadas evolve into Ninjask, they shed their skin, which turns into a Shedinja?" Happy said. "Well, the Insect Plate gives me access to the abilities of pretty much any Bug-type Pokémon, including the Nincada line. So I can shed my skin whenever I want and turn it into an animated servitor. Isn't that neat?"
"…I'm not sure which is grosser, what you just did or the way you infested that frost giant yesterday with your fast-growing spawn," said a revolted Pikachu.
"Did you guys know she could do that?" Leo asked.
"Yeah, though she hasn't done it too often. Thankfully," Sparky said.
"Thankfully? That's a mondo cool power! I wish I could do that!" Zippo complained.
"Zippo, your Flame Plate lets you summon fire monsters and create flaming doubles of yourself," Rose reminded him.
"Yeah, but it's not the same as shedding my skin and having a hollowed-out shell floating around freaking people out!" the Charmeleon said adamantly.
"Yeah, that is kinda cool. I wish I could do that, too!" Leo agreed. "Well, I guess technically I could take my shell off and use hover jets and a remote control to make it fly around like a guided missile, but it's not quite the same, you know?"
"Yeah, totally," Zippo said. He frowned. "Now I wish I had a shell…"
"Right," Bruno said loudly. "Anyway…this, uh, shed skin will be able to protect Todd?"
Happy nodded. "Yeah. It doesn't have much in the way of intelligence, but it has a bit of my personality and powers embedded in it, so it can be relied upon to behave the same way I would if I were there. It also has a limited version of my Bug control power, which should come in handy when they catch up with that Galvantula."
"Our mother will never succumb to your Plate powers! She will wrap you up in her web, electrify you, and feast on your eyes-" the Joltik started. Both Happy and her shed skin's eyes glowed, and the Joltiks winced and shut up.
"Well, um, I guess I'll be happy to have such formidable backup," Todd said slowly. "But, uh, not to complain or anything, is that really the best you can do? You can't just, I don't know, give birth to a swarm of Bugs to give me some more air support? I mean, two Pokémon—or rather, one Pokémon, and one shed skin of a Pokémon—doesn't seem like quite enough to go up against all that." He gestured with his wing out the window at the numerous battleships hovering ominously overhead.
"I could, but it would take them too long to mature enough to the point where they can both fly and fight effectively. If I accelerated their growth process, they'd have wings faster, but also be weaker and not last quite as long," Happy said. She frowned. "Also, I don't really like to create life just so I can throw it at an enemy. That doesn't seem particularly maternal, or fair to them."
Sasha, Silvia, and Fantina all nodded in agreement. "That is certainly not why I bore children into this world," the Absol said.
"Yes, zat's ze sort of zing Bellum would do," Fantina said, glancing at Lily, who looked at the ground unhappily.
"Yes, breeding just to create soldiers is completely reprehensible," Silvia agreed.
"Didn't you and Dad have me just to make more money?" Buck asked.
"Hush dear, that's completely different," Silvia said, causing him to sweatdrop.
"Uh, wait…didn't you give birth to a ton of kids to kill that frost giant yesterday?" George asked.
"Well, yes," Happy admitted. "But since the frost giant was so big, I knew that they'd be perfectly safe once they managed to burrow under his flesh and begin gestating inside his organs, so I thought it worth the risk, especially with such a prime source of meat to nourish them and give them sustenance to grow big and strong."
"…Ah," George said.
"Bugs are gross," Buck complained, only to yelp when he found Sam's gun in his face.
"You take that back! Sam Jr. is an upstanding member of society, even if he is a disease-carrying vermin who enjoys wallowing in garbage! After all, so is Max, and he's President of the United States!" Sam bellowed.
"Ack! I take it back, I take it back!" Buck stammered frantically.
"You lie!" Sam shouted.
"What? No I don't!" Buck yelled desperately.
"You don't? Oh, okay then," Sam said, putting the gun away. Everyone sweatdropped.
"Um…you're right, two alone might not be enough," Bow said, bringing the subject back on track. "'Owever, I zink I can even ze odds a little." She swished one of her fans, and in a gust of wind a dozen or so air elementals swirled to life around the startled Todd. "My friends 'ere should be able to keep you safe. Zey are virtually indestructible, considering zey are ze very air itself. Projectiles and missiles and pretty much any attack can just pass zhrough zem, and zey can use ze wind and ze air itself to deflect anyzing zat comes your way. A better group of companions, I have difficulty zinking of."
"Actually, I can probably do you one better," Fantina said, causing Bow to frown. The Mismagius concentrated, her form blurring, and abruptly she split into two Fantinas. "Zere, zat should do it," they both said simultaneously.
"Oh! Two Fantinas?" Silvia said excitedly.
"Like one wasn't enough already?" Goldor grumbled under his breath.
"Er, what exactly was that supposed to do?" Todd asked in confusion.
"It's simple, really," one Fantina said.
"One of us will go wiz you," said the second Fantina.
"And ze ozzer will stay be'ind to fight wiz ze ozzers," the first said.
"Oh," Todd said, perking up at the prospect of having the world's most powerful sorceress at his side…sort of. "Well, that's certainly a big help."
"Er, Mistress, is that such a good idea?" Butler asked in concern. "Dividing your power and attention like that?"
"Don't worry, I only put a fraction of myself in 'ere," the second Fantina said.
"How big a fraction?" Diane asked dubiously.
"Enough to 'elp Todd wizout 'indering ze rest of us," the first Fantina said.
"But, um, Fantina, if you do this you're going to have to split your consciousness between two bodies," Lily said uncertainly. "That doesn't seem entirely safe."
"Nonsense, if Bellum could split 'erself into zree or more, dividing myself in two shouldn't be zat much of a problem!" the second Fantina said.
"…Isn't Bellum kind of, ah, completely and totally insane?" Palmer asked.
"That's a bit of an understatement," Leo said.
"Ze two are completely unrelated," the first Fantina said.
"I am ze picture of mental 'ealzh! So long as I maintain my concentration, I should be able to exist in zis state long enough for us to rescue our erstwhile friends," the second Fantina assured them.
Butler sighed. "I really don't think this is a good idea, but there's no way to change your mind, is there?"
"Nope!" Both Fantinas said cheerfully.
"I believe zat Mama can do it," Bow said. "She can do just about anyzing if she puts 'er mind to it!"
"Exactly," one of the Fantinas said, floating over to Todd. "Which is why you are in good 'ands wiz me!"
"Th-thank you, Your Grace," said the very relieved Todd. "I'll feel much safer with you by my side."
"And just to make you feel even safer, I'll accompany you as well," Palmer said suddenly, much to everyone else's surprise. Dawn frowned, wondering what the senior ninja was up to.
"What? But Kairyu, you can't go! We need you here!" Looker protested.
"Yes, we require your powers, especially for that one spell we've been working on," Diane said.
Palmer shook his head. "You guys will be fine without me. My skills will be more useful to safeguarding Todd and freeing our captured friends. Besides, I've never been very good with weather magic anyway."
"I think that's a great idea," Pikachu said loudly, seeing some of the others were about to disagree. "I think Kairyu would be better used protecting Todd and rescuing Ash, Tiny and the others then staying back here."
Dawn nodded in agreement. We already have plenty of powerful mages here. Missing one won't make that big a difference.
"…I kinda think it would," Zippo said dubiously.
"Well, I don't," Pikachu said brusquely.
Sparky scratched his head. "Well, I don't know, but…if you really think it'll help, I guess we can send Kairyu with Todd."
Lu nodded in agreement. "Anything to save Ritchie and Cruise."
Palmer nodded gratefully as Pikachu and Dawn sighed in relief. "Thank you. I won't let any of you down."
"Good! So that's taken care of! That means we can quit messing around and start busting some heads already!" said a relieved Briney, who felt that this avenue of conversation had been going on for far, far too long.
"Speaking of which, how come Tarantulas hasn't made a move to attack us yet but has seemed perfectly content to just let us sit here for the last several minutes and argue about whom to send with Todd to rescue our missing teammates?" George asked.
"Talking is a free action," everyone on Team Aurabolt and Team Getem said with varying levels of enthusiasm and/or boredom.
"Oh," George said.
Leo frowned. "Hey, wait…but we're done talking and are about to start fighting, so doesn't that mean…"
"WE'VE GOT INCOMING!" the mon in the security room screamed as every cannon and blaster and weapon on the arachnid fortress and airships targeted the Enchanted Express and fired, sending a fusillade of ridiculously overpowered artillery on an unstoppable trajectory towards the moving train.
"Crap," Leo said.
…
Elsewhere…
Please…don't die…
I'm so sorry…
On the shore of a beautiful lake far from Pokémon Square, a Riolu and a Pichu were swordfighting. The swords were wooden, thankfully, and the edges dulled so the worst injuries they could inflict on each other were bruises or maybe a splinter or two. Regardless, they enthusiastically hacked away at each other as if they were using real steel, demonstrating surprising skill for ones so young. "You can't beat me, Ash!" the Pichu said, biting his tongue as he fended off Ash's blows and thrusts with his sword and tail. "You've never won before now, and you're not gonna win today either!"
"I've been working on my technique," the Riolu retorted. "And practicing with Dad…I've gotten better!"
"So have I," the Pichu said, spinning and striking Ash's sword with an Iron Tail that nearly flung it aside, allowing him to thrust his weapon directly at the Riolu's gut. Ash backflipped out of the way and dashed forwards the instant he landed, swinging his sword with all his might (and since he was a Riolu, that was a lot of might!). Unfortunately, Pichu sprung upwards, twirling over Ash's head and striking the Riolu's back with is tail as he descended behind him, causing him to stumble and nearly drop his sword. "The thing is, your dad may be an Aura Guardian…but mine is the greatest swordsmon of his generation!"
"Heh. My dad's not too bad with a blade either," Ash pointed out as he got back up and faced Pichu.
"Maybe, but he's no match to mine," Pichu bragged.
"You take that back!" Ash said angrily.
"Nuh-uh, I'm only saying what we're all thinking!" Pichu said, blowing a Razz Berry.
"What we're all thinking is that your Dad could stand to lay off the desserts!" Ash said.
Pichu flinched. "You take that back!"
"Not until you take back what you said about my Dad!" Ash said.
"No way! Not gonna happen!" Pichu said angrily.
"Then I guess there's only one way to settle this, isn't there?" Ash said with a smirk.
Pichu narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, there is…"
They hopped backwards, crouched into a stance, and concentrated. Blue flames ignited around Ash as he channeled the power of Aura, and Pichu started sparking with electricity as he called upon the high-voltage power of the Thunderblade line. Gritting their teeth and glaring death at each other, they focused their respective energies into their swords, causing them to blaze with blue and yellow light…
And disintegrate. The children blinked and stared at their soot-covered paws in astonishment. "In retrospect, that should have been pretty obvious," Ash said finally.
"I suppose this is why Dad said I should wait until I had a real sword to try that trick," Pichu said resignedly.
"That's right, it is," Raiki said as he patted Pichu on the head, causing him to yelp in alarm and shock himself. "I warned you that you weren't ready for that move. It's too advanced for you."
"Sorry, Dad," Pichu said, looking crestfallen.
Raiki chuckled. "It's no big deal, you'll be ready for it soon enough…however, since you just destroyed a perfectly good practice sword, before dinner you're going to have to carve a new one to replace it."
"Awwww, mon," Pichu groaned.
Ash snickered, until a familiar shadow loomed over him. His ears and sensory organs drooped as he turned to look up at his father. "Oh come on, me too?"
"Yes," Aaron said.
"But we don't even use swords much, we're martial artists!" Ash protested.
"Who also train in a variety of other forms and weapons so we can manifest Aura in any situation," Aaron said. "And even so, it's a necessary lesson in pride."
"…Pride? I was standing up for you, Dad, not myself!" Ash protested.
Aaron shrugged. "Still counts as pride. Besides, Pichu's right, I never have been able to beat Raiki in a swordfight."
"Oh," Ash said, both disappointed to hear this and amazed by how willingly his father was able to admit something like that. Then again, he guessed humility was an important part of being an Aura Guardian…one of many lessons that had cost his father his eyes…
"Not for lack of trying," Raiki said as he came over, sword slung over his shoulder. "How many times did we go at it, back in the day?"
"On this very shore, even," Aaron agreed, smiling fondly. "Seems like just yesterday…"
"It was yesterday," Ash reminded his dad. "That's when we got here, remember?"
"Ah, that it was," Aaron recalled. "And what a lovely day it was."
"Today's a pretty nice day, too," Raiki agreed. "Guess that's why we came out here to train our sons, isn't it?"
"Ahem. I thought we came out here for a family vacation?" Delia, who was sitting on a picnic blanket only a few feet away, said loudly.
"Er, yes. That too," Raiki said quickly. Pichu rolled his eyes.
"Aaron, Ash, quit fooling around and get over here, this lunch isn't going to eat itself," Krysta, lounging on the blanket next to Delia, said lazily.
"Well, it is if Zachary has anything to say about it," Zorra, who was sitting next to Krysta, said as she kept a strong grip on the Zorua's tail to keep him from lunging at the delicious-smelling picnic basket and devouring its contents.
"So…hungry…" Zachary drooled.
Aaron glanced up at the sun and sweatdropped when he saw it was much further along its path than he had expected. "I suppose we have been going at it a little too long…"
"Yeah, a lunch break couldn't hurt," Raiki agreed as his stomach growled. "And then-"
"No more training for the day," their wives said flatly.
"But-but-" Raiki and Aaron protested in stereo. Their wives glared at them. They sighed. "Yes, dear." Ash and Pichu glanced at each other. On the one hand, they wanted to keep fighting. On the other hand, they wanted to eat. So…they shrugged and decided they'd continue their match once they had some new swords. They went with their dads to the blanket and sat down as Delia opened the basket and started distributing sandwiches to everyone. Zachary inhaled his in less than a second and would have pounced on the remaining food if Zorra hadn't conjured an illusionary sub and stuffed it in the Zorua's mouth, knowing it would take even him a while to eat around that. Zachary contentedly began feasting on it, not particularly caring that it wasn't real; the illusion of taste and sustenance could be just as filling as the real thing if he didn't think about it too much.
They peacefully ate their lunch in good company as time passed and a gentle breeze blew through their fur and rustled the grass around them. "Such a beautiful place," Krysta commented after a while as she looked at the gorgeous lake and the gently rolling hills surrounding them. "You did a nice job of finding this place, Aaron."
"Thanks. There were some barbarians who'd staked their claim here and weren't willing to let us use the place for a family retreat, so we beat the stuffing out of them and sent them running for the hills," Aaron said.
Delia frowned. "That wasn't very nice. They were here first."
"Actually, there was a small village here first. Then the barbarians came. And then we came. And now someone can build a new settlement here someday. It's the circle of life, or something," Raiki said.
"Yes, but I don't think anyone will be doing it anytime soon, since we put up a sign saying this is Team Auraforce's private retreat and trespassers will be severely persecuted," Aaron said. "Anyone aware of our reputation will know to steer clear of this place, or else."
"Ah," Delia said.
"Will that work? In my experience, most barbarians can't read," Zorra said.
"That's why we made sure to use very descriptive images," Raiki said.
"Oh, all right then," Zorra said.
"It's a shame Charlie and Charla couldn't make it," Delia said sadly. "They would have loved to join us."
"No they wouldn't. They're Charizards. They'd find the place too dull. And flat. And wet," Krysta said.
"Yes, I suppose that's true," Delia admitted. "Still, it would be nice to have them here. And the others, too."
"Well, Charlie's never been a part of Team Auraforce," Raiki pointed out. "And this is the Auraforce retreat, so…"
"Yes, but he's part of Team A.C.T., which is led by Allen, who used to be part of your team, which therefore makes him as good as one of you," Delia said stubbornly. Raiki shrugged, seeing she'd already made up her mind and there was no point in arguing.
"Speaking of Allen, when's he ever going to settle down?" Krysta wondered.
"I thought he was dating Sabrina," Aaron said.
"They broke it off. She's still too hung up on you," Zorra said.
"…Oh," Aaron said awkwardly.
"Maybe you should marry her too," Raiki said half-jokingly.
Aaron started. "Wh-what?"
"Ohhh, that would be wonderful, I love a good wedding!" Delia said excitedly, clasping her paws together. "And I would plan it, of course. I can already see it in my mind…"
"Th-that won't be necessary," Aaron said quickly, the thought of Delia planning another of his weddings filling him with a deep sense of dread. "Two wives are plenty! I don't need a third!"
"Hmm…what do you think, Zorra?" Krysta asked the Zoroark.
"Eh, I'd do Sabrina," Zorra said after a moment's thought.
"Wh-what?" Aaron cried.
Krysta nodded. "Yes, she is quite appealing. Very intelligent, good with magic, and easy on the eyes too."
"…Are we seriously talking about this now? In front of the children?" Aaron hissed incredulously.
"Dear, would you mind if we added Sabrina to the family?" Zorra asked Zachary.
"Eh, I guess not," Zachary mumbled around his illusionary sub sandwich.
"How about you, Ash?" Krysta asked the Riolu.
Ash, who had only been half-listening to the conversation, blinked. "Huh? Well, I already have two mommies, and Aunt Sabrina's pretty cool, so…I guess it would be okay."
"There. It's settled then," Krysta said with a firm nod.
"Wonderful!" Delia said, clapping her paws together.
"W-wait! D-don't I get a say in this?" Aaron protested.
"No," they both said. Aaron groaned.
"Mon, I don't know whether to pity or envy you," Raiki said sympathetically. Delia glared at him. "Pity! Definitely pity!" he shouted.
"Yes, you should pity me," Aaron grumbled. "Having two womon has its downsides."
"Such as?" Krysta asked, glaring at him.
"There's never enough time to tell you just how lucky I am to be with both of you beautiful creatures," Aaron said quickly. His wives smiled, flattered.
"What are they talking about?" Pichu muttered to Ash.
Ash shrugged and reached for another roll from the basket. "I dunno. Grownup stuff."
"Very grownup. But it won't be long before you get involved in that sort of thing, too," Zachary said slyly. The other two boys stared at him blankly. Like most things, the Zorua's innuendo went over their heads.
"Speaking of weddings, do we still have an agreement for our kids, or…?" Delia asked.
"Well, last time I checked, we agreed that the first male of our children would be wed to the first female of yours, or vice versa," Aaron said.
"But neither of us has had any girls yet, so either we wait a bit longer, call the whole thing off, or, ah…" Raiki coughed. "Pair two of them anyway…"
Ash and Pichu exchanged disgusted looks. "Ewwwww."
"I dunno, I don't think I'd mind-" Zachary started.
"No," Pichu said flatly. Zachary pouted.
"Guess that's out of the question, then," Raiki said in relief.
"There's no reason to call it off. We still have plenty of time to have more offspring," Krysta said, rubbing a tail against Aaron's thigh suggestively. He turned rather red.
"Although…I think Ash has been spending an awful amount of time with that new girl, Misty, hasn't he?" Zorra recalled.
"M-Mom!" Ash protested, turning as red as his father. "She's just a friend! I don't like her that way!"
"Yes you do," Zachary said. Ash punched him.
"Misty? Oh right, she's the one Allen and the guys rescued from Amber Palace, right? The Waterflower kid?" Raiki recalled.
Aaron nodded. "She's been rather withdrawn, which is understandable given what she's been through, but she seems to be opening up a little around Ash, which seems like a good sign of recovery to me."
"She's still terrified of Bugs, though," Krysta commented.
"Yes, well, that's also understandable." Zorra glared at her son. "Which is why it's not all right under any circumstances to make illusions of insects around her. Right?"
Zachary winced. "Right, Meema."
As his parents and Pichu's parents continued talking, turning their discussion to recent slightly worrying trends in barbarian activity—it looked like some ambitious Infernape named Gal was rising to power among the monkey tribes, for example, and a Fearow named Redwing was amassing a large flock to attack airships—Ash's thoughts wandered, as they seemed to be doing with a troubling frequency lately, to Misty. He didn't understand why everyone seemed convinced they were a couple. They were both too young for that sort of thing, weren't they? Plus, he didn't even like her that much. Sure, they hung out a lot, and sparred on occasion, and he always listened to her when she talked about how much she hated her sisters for being such superficial cowards who seemed incapable of understanding her or that there were much worse things in life than having a broken nail or ruining their makeup, and held her when she cried about her latest nightmare about being back in the Amber Palace or Pokémon Square being overrun by insects who devoured everyone she cared about, and promised he'd always be there when she needed him, but he wasn't in love with her. At least, he was pretty sure he wasn't. Pichu and Zachary insisted he was in denial, which, naturally enough, he also denied.
He leaned back to look up at the sky, thoughts drifting much like the clouds. Funny, most of them seemed to be shaped like bugs. Thanks to Misty, he was starting to gain a bit of a dislike towards insects as well. He knew it wasn't entirely fair, and his dad would have several things to say to him about how Aura Guardians weren't supposed to be prejudiced, but since they caused such a violent reaction in a close friend of his, it was hard to remain unbiased. He frowned when one especially large cloud passed over the sun, briefly dimming the light. It looked like a spider.
A spider? Why did something about that seem…wrong?
A madmon more metal than flesh, laughing maniacally as wave after wave of chittering mechanical arachnids swarmed out from his body, devouring everything in their path.
Ash flinched, his head pounding. "Ash?" Pichu asked in alarm.
"Son? What's wrong?" Aaron asked in concern.
"I-" Ash started, only for another vision to overwhelm him.
A sinister eight-legged shadow, half-there and half-not, crackling with electricity as it phased in and out of view. Electricity crackled across Ash's body as well, and he found himself immobilized, his form held still by paralysis as well as the electrified strands of webbing wrapped around him. He could do nothing to stop the shadow from hurting his friends, or stop the…the little ones from crawling all over him! He could feel their hairy bodies and many-legged forms scurrying all over him! It was all he could do not to scream. He had to get them off!
He was frantically scratching himself all over. He couldn't see the spiders, but he knew they were there, he could feel their disgusting wriggling forms! Was this what Misty had felt when she was in the Amber Palace? If it was, no wonder she hated Bugs so much! Ignoring the confused and worried shouts from his family, he staggered to his feet and rushed towards the lake, figuring that the water would wash the monsters off. He reached the edge of the water and was about to jump in when he saw his reflection. He froze.
Staring back at him from the surface of the water was a taller, older Lucario with absolutely white eyes and a body that seemed to be composed completely of black fire. Its eyes were completely blank and empty, with no emotion or thought or feeling behind them, and yet Ash knew as sure as he knew anything that this entity would destroy absolutely anything and everything, not out of hatred or spite or a desire to kill, but simply because it existed, as if that were the only thing that mattered.
Ash also knew, with a certainty that shook him to his core, that this monster was himself.
Images flickered before his eyes.
Giant birds murdering his friends, before being gruesomely torn apart by himself.
A broken and barren landscape becoming even more so as he walked through it, the earth crumbling into nothingness before and behind him, a gaping chasm left in his wake.
The corpses of his Pokémon lying around him.
An armored figure begging him to stop.
A world-rending explosion.
A bloody figure cradled in his arms.
Please…don't die.
I'm so sorry…
The other Ash rippled and transformed into Misty as the reflection of the lakeside turned from an idyllic landscape into a world ablaze. It wasn't the Misty Ash knew, except it was, except it wasn't; her skin corpse-pale, her clothes torn, her body splattered with blood, a gaping hole where her heart should have been festering with darkness, her head lolling at a sickening angle on a broken neck, dead eyes staring at him as her mouth whispered, "All your fault…all your fault…all your fault…"
Ash recoiled, the feeling of spiders crawling all over his body increasing tenfold, and then suddenly the monster he had seen reflected in the lake was a reflection no more, and it became him and he became it, and he turned as Shadow Aura swirled around him to see the skies turn red and the grass burst into flame and his family's flesh melt from their bones and their bones melt into slag and the slag melt into sand and the sand turn into glass and shatter. Misty wrapped her clammy, cadaverous arms around him from behind and leaned her head on his shoulder, not seeming to notice as she burst into flame from contact with him. "Isn't it beautiful, Ash, how everything you touch you destroy?"
There was a roar like a billion different voices screaming in a billion different tones, so much within it and at the same time absolutely nothing, a roar that was empty and cold and lonely and utterly hungry, a roar that caused his mind to begin to fray and freeze, shatter and burn. Ash could hear the sound of something cracking, and with a cacophonous crash a hole tore open in the sky, the whole world quaking and warping in response to the anomaly. Through the hole Ash could see a monster more horrible than anything he could possibly imagine, even more than himself, his very sanity recoiling in disbelief before the sheer obscenity of the abomination, as if even acknowledging its presence would cause his mind to destroy itself. It had a mouth so big that it could swallow entire universes, but an appetite even greater, a hunger and loneliness that could never be satisfied even if it ate all of reality. A claw so big that all of Pokémon Square could fit in its palm reached through the hole and dug its digits into the ground, the shockwaves from the impact rearranging the landscape and decimating everything for miles, the very life of the Earth being sucked out of the ground and up the claw and into the mouth of the monster. The world shook so tumultuously Ash felt as if the world were tearing itself apart…but he soon realized the reality was far worse, as the hole in the sky got wider, and more of the thing on the other side became visible, and Ash realized they were moving closer to the beast…that it was dragging the planet and everything on it into those fearsome jaws, to feed its never-ending hunger and loneliness.
"No," he whispered.
"Yes," Misty replied. "The end has begun. You cannot stop it. Why would you, since you are the one who began it in the first place?"
"What? N-no, I didn't…I couldn't-" Ash stammered.
But he had. Or would, or was going to, or already was. This, too, he knew with horrifying certainty. "But…why?"
"Because failing horribly has always been what you're best at, you pathetic loser," Misty said lovingly. "How many times have you blown it when the chips are down? How many times have you proved your friends wrong and your detractors right? How many times have you lost a battle you should have won because you failed to properly learn a lesson that's been shoved right in your face again and again and again, or conveniently forgotten so you can keep on making the same mistakes with that blissful look of stupidity on your face in a new region with new friends while abandoning everyone who's helped you made it that far?"
"I-I didn't…that's not what-" Ash protested.
"But it is. You know it is, don't you?" she said soothingly.
"But…the world…all those people…I've saved it lots of times-" Ash protested.
"And it always was endangered again. Did it ever occur to you, you worthless failure, that maybe the world's always been doomed and all you were doing was putting off the inevitable?" Misty asked sweetly.
"It's still here, isn't it?" he said weakly, although judging by the mouth in the sky, he wasn't sure how much longer that would last.
"It ended once, my beloved imbecile. You should know. You were there. And you will be there the next time," Misty said gently. "After all…the world ends with you."
And then she tore out his throat with her teeth and Ash woke up, to find himself in a whole other nightmare. And that the spiders-crawling-on-him thing was not just a dream.
…
Tarantulas watched the monitors from the control room of his massive mechanical fortress, the Arachnoblast, eagerly as the Enchanted Express vanished in a brilliant flash of light as it was struck simultaneously by thousands upon thousands of missiles and energy blasts. "Yes! Yes! A direct hit! Hahaha! See, Bellum, zat's how you take care of business-" The light faded to reveal that the train was completely intact…and it looked as if there were several dozen portals surrounding it. "What?"
"Doctor Tarantulas, we're detecting spatial anomalies above us," one of the Nihilators positioned at the various consoles scattered about the control room reported.
"Along with intense energy readings!" The Nihilator who reported this frowned. "In fact, they look an awful lot like our energy readings…"
Tarantulas' eyes widened in alarm. "Raise shields to maximum! Everyone brace yourselves!"
The portals Lily had opened above the fleet, siblings to the portals she had formed around the Enchanted Express, released their contents, almost the entirety of the volley the Nihilator battleships and Arachnoblast had launched at them, right back at their senders. The ships shook as the attacks slammed into their shields, damaging their systems and knocking their crews about. Most of the battleships made it through in one piece, but several dozen of the smaller fighters, who lacked the resilience of their larger counterparts, had been vaporized in the barrage. It wasn't much of a loss, though, because they still had hundreds more to take their place.
As the Arachnoblast trembled from the impact of the returned attack, Tarantulas bounced slightly in the large metal-thread web he'd woven in the center of the control deck, his swarm of mechanical brood scuttling across the web, his body, and spilling onto the floor to devour some of the bridge crew in agitation. Chobin, who was inside a large transparent sphere, cheered giddily as he rolled back and forth, the tremors sending him one way then the other. "Wheee-he-he-heeeeee!"
A very large Emboar standing next to the Doctor's web (not too close, mind you, he wasn't keen on being eaten by the Doctor's minions) looked at Chobin in puzzlement as he rolled all over the place, ricocheting off of walls and consoles like a pinball and causing the crew to flinch or, in some cases, get flattened completely. "Lord Doctor Tarantulas. Why is Chobin rolling like a thing that is rolling when there is no reason for him to be rolling like a thing that is rolling?" As if on cue, Chobin rolled towards him, and the Emboar punched him away without even looking.
"Vell, Lieutenant…er, vhat vas your name again?" Tarantulas asked.
"Midboss," the Emboar said.
"Midboss?" Tarantulas snorted. "Zat's a stupid name. From now on your name is Viers."
"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas," the Emboar said dutifully.
"Anyvay, Viers, Chobin is in zat sphere for his own protection. He has a tendency to get himself killed doing incredibly stupid zings, and due to ze…delicacy of our mission, I zought it might be best to make sure he doesn't hurt himself in case I von't be able to make it better later," Tarantulas explained.
The newly named Viers' ears twitched in puzzlement. "Delicacy? What is delicacy? There is nothing delicate about this mission. We will smash. And smash. And smash. Until our enemies cannot be smashed. Then we smash them some more. Then we eat them. Then we smash what comes out the other end. Then we eat that and smash it again. It is not delicate unless it is being tasty and delicious feeling of victory over our enemies. It is rugged mission. Rugged like me, Viers who was once Midboss!" He pounded on his chest for emphasis, snorting embers from his nostrils.
Tarantulas sweatdropped. "Ah, yes, quite right. Vhat I mean is zere's a lot of pressure on us—me especially—to finish zis mission successfully. Ze consequences of our failure may be very, ah, dire. Herr Shadow has said he may show leniency based on our performance should ve fail, but mercy is not an attribute I have seen very much in him in ze past, so…just in case he decides to destroy my cloning equipment again, I zought it best to make sure Chobin doesn't get himself killed, because after today zere's no guarantee I'll be able to bring him back again if ve somehow manage to lose."
Viers scratched his head. "…I am not following. He will go to the Abyss. He will fall into darkness that is without end and has no light switch. All of us will. You will. I will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator over there will. That Nihilator-"
"I zink I get ze point," Tarantulas interrupted in frustration.
"But I am not getting the point. There is no point. If there is a point, it must be sharpened. Because it is dull. Like a pencil that is dull from being used too often. All of us desire the Abyss. Why would you keep Chobin from there?" Viers asked.
"Because he is precious to me, and ze only zing left in zis disgusting vorld I still care about," Tarantulas admitted. "Vizout him, I don't really zink I'd be able to go on, vich is bad because I am critical to ze Nihilator cause, and if I am unable to do my duty, zen ve may not be able to achieve our ultimate goal. Plus, I'd vorry about him, stuck in zat nezervorld vizout me to vatch over him. Vat if he got into some sort of trouble? Vat if he got on ze wrong end of somezing more twisted zan he is? I vouldn't be zere to help him. Or vorse…vat if he found he no longer needed me? Vat vould be left for me zen?"
Viers still didn't quite get it. "You…are caring for Chobin? That is…very un-Nihilator-ish. But you are a Nihilator. One of our leaders. You cannot be un-Nihilator-ish. But you have un-Nihilator-ish feelings. But you can't. But you do. But you can't. But you-"
"Yes, I'm vell avare of ze irony," Tarantulas snapped angrily. "I know it's razzer hypocritical of me to feel zis vay, considering vat ve stand for and our stance on zings like 'love,' but zat's how it is, okay?"
Viers tried to wrap his rather small mind around this. "…It is against the Nihilator way. But you are a higher officer. We must obey our superiors. Therefore it cannot be wrong for you to feel that way, because that would be questioning your judgment, which is wrong. Therefore…it must be…right?"
"…Eh. I guess zat's one vay of looking at it, if it makes your head hurt any less," Tarantulas grunted.
"You are my superior. If you have…affection for Chobin, therefore I should…should…" Viers furrowed his brow, feeling he was on the verge of a breakthrough. Tarantulas watched in interest, fascinated by how high the Emboar's temperature was increasing as his miniscule brain overheated attempting to reach an epiphany. "Should…help you to keep Chobin from killing himself out of his own stupid idiotic idiocy…because that is what you desire, and as your subordinate I must desire the same thing you do…yes?"
Tarantulas blinked and looked at Viers in astonishment. Not only was this a startling leap of logic for a Pokémon as, well, stupid as Viers, but it also demonstrated a degree of empathy—or something like it—that few Nihilators were capable of. In fact, they weren't supposed to be capable of it, they took great care in making sure Nihilators who possessed compassion got quickly culled from the ranks or had those traits suppressed and destroyed through the Shadow Pokémon process. And he knew that Viers was a Shadow Pokémon, so how could what the Emboar was doing now be possible? Deciding that it was more a consequence of ambition or blind loyalty than kindness—that there was no way it could be anything else, especially from this dolt—Tarantulas finally said, "I…y-yes, zat is correct. If you could assist me in keeping Chobin safe, I vould greatly appreciate it, and see zat you are revarded appropriately."
"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Viers saluted.
"You don't have to call me zat, you know. It seems kind of redundant," Tarantulas said.
"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas!" Viers saluted. Tarantulas sighed.
"Doctor, what are your orders? The Enchanted Express has yet to launch a counterattack," one of the Nihilators said.
"Zey haven't?" Tarantulas asked in surprise.
"No, sir. Their train has undergone a transformation of some sorts that's granted it extra armor, but other than that they aren't doing anything but continuing down the track," the operator said, pointing to his screen, which had an image of the Enchanted Express in battle mode on it.
"Hmmph, it's only a matter of time," Tarantulas grunted. "Let's see, if we try anozzer bombardment like zat, zey'll just redirect it at us, so…let's try somezing a little harder, shall we?"
Inside the train, Lily was sweating and gasping for breath. "Are you okay?" Pikachu asked in concern.
"Of course she's not okay, she just opened enough portals to transport a fuckload of missiles and lasers and energy blasts and stuff away from us, how would you feel if you did that?" Leo snapped.
"'ere, drink zis," Fantina said, offering Lily a glass with a pleasantly simmering gold liquid in it.
Lily gratefully took the glass and drank it. Her eyes widened in surprise as energy surged through her body. "Oh! I feel much better now. What was that?"
"Just a little somezing I whip up from time to time when I need a pick-me-up," Fantina said. She sighed. "I get ze feeling we're going to be needing a lot more of zose before zis is over…"
"You may be right, considering that one of that monstrosity's legs is now blocking the tracks," Briney said.
"WHAT?" Everyone rushed to the windows and saw that Tarantulas had, indeed, planted one of the legs right in the middle of the tracks ahead of them.
"I don't suppose we can smash through that?" Bruno asked in concern. "Because if we have to stop, we're as good as dead. It's harder for them to hit a moving target, but if we become sitting Psyducks…"
"Well, if we supercharge the engine using some of the modifications we made to it last night, I think we could plow through it…maybe…" Zippo said uncertainly.
"Fortunately, we don't need to," Lily said, reinvigorated from Fantina's energy drink. "There's a much simpler solution." She concentrated.
Just before the train could crash into the Arachnoblast's leg, a portal opened in front of it. At the same time, another portal opened on the other side of the leg. The Enchanted Express blazed through one portal and out the other at full speed, completely circumventing the enormous obstacle in its path. "…Huh," Tarantulas said, somewhat disconcerted. "In retrospect, I really should have seen zat coming."
"Shall we fire, sir?" one of the gunners asked.
Tarantulas facepalmed. "Oh for ze love of…is nobody paying attention here? Zey'll just zrow our weapons back at us! Fortunately, I have prepared for zis eventuality. Activate ze anti-magic jamming field!"
An antenna lowered from the underbelly of the Arachnoblast and pulsed, emitting a shockwave of crackling black and white energy that surged outwards, rapidly eating up the distance towards the Enchanted Express. "What's that?" Silvia asked in concern when she saw the energy wave rushing towards them.
"I do believe that's the anti-magic jamming field Cherry warned us they'd try to use against us to nullify the train's magical systems and neutralize our spellcasters' capabilities," Leo said, analyzing the wave with his sunglasses.
"Then it's a good thing we prepared for this, didn't we?" Palmer said smugly.
"Engine room, activate the anti-anti-magic jamming field!" Bruno commanded.
The train's dish-shaped magitek raygun started crackling with energy and unleashed a prismatic shockwave that rippled away from the Enchanted Express in every direction. The shockwave clashed with the one being generated by the Arachnoblast, causing both of them to vanish in a brilliant flash of light, the feedback causing the antenna to spark and explode violently. "Vhat? Zey had an anti-anti-magic jamming field?" Tarantulas cried incredulously. "How ze…does somezing like zat even work?"
"Apparently, yes," one of the bridge crew said awkwardly.
"Gah! Vell, it's a good zing I zought ahead and magic-proofed all our ships just in case zis didn't vork, vich should limit zeir options for a counterattack…All right, let's try ze backup, zen: fire up ze space-time stabilizer field! Zat vill 'harden' local space and make it impossible for anyone to Teleport, warp, or portal anyvhere nearby! I don't know how zey could have possibly gained enough mastery of scientific zaumaturgy in one night to counteract my anti-magic field, but zere's no vay zey know enough about quantum mechanics to defeat zis one!" Tarantulas declared.
"Chobin doesn't, and he was helping the Doctor to build it!" Chobin said from his sphere.
"Yes, yes you did," Tarantulas said. "By 'helping' he means trying to use a portal to give himself anal sex," he murmured to Viers, who blinked stupidly. "It didn't end vell."
Another antenna lowered from the underside of the Arachnoblast and emitted a second wave, this one pink and blue. Tarantulas looked on eagerly as it rushed towards the train…and gawked when the engine's dish emitted an energy wave of the same hue that cancelled this one out in a flash of light, causing the antenna to explode. "Vat…vat…"
"I guess they are knowing enough about quantum mechanics to defeat that after all," Viers said, stating the obvious.
"We knew enough about quantum mechanics to defeat that," Leo said smugly.
"Word," Zippo agreed. They high-pawed.
"Argggghhh!" Tarantulas shouted, steam hissing from the machinery in his skull as it overheated from his anger. "Okay, here's a better idea: bombard ze track. All of it! It's a train, it can't run off ze rails, so ve vill destroy ze rails until zere is novere left for it to go, even by portals!"
"Huh. Looks like they're blowing up the track," the Magneton engineer commented unworriedly as he checked the monitors in the engine room, the train shaking slightly as the ground quaked from explosions as missiles and laser blasts ripped huge sections of the rails to pieces, gouging deep craters into the landscape.
The chief engineer snorted. "Please. Do they really think that's going to stop us?"
"Heh, guess they don't know about the emergency tracks, do they?" the Magneton said as he pulled a lever.
The Enchanted Express charged headlong towards the very large hole in the tracks ahead of it, a hole that would derail most other trains and probably kill everyone on board in a terrible crash. However, the Enchanted Express wasn't an ordinary train. Just before it reached the edge of the hole, the wheels started shimmering. Golden light shot out before and behind the train, solidifying and branching inwards and forming…
Tracks. Tracks of enchanted light that materialized in front of the train just in time for it to roll on them and vanished in its wake, constantly creating and destroying itself and giving the Enchanted Express space to run on. The tracks laid themselves over the large gap just ahead, allowing the train to run over it without pausing, and formed a new course curving away from the remains of the old tracks, cutting across the desert away from the Arachnoblast and in the direction of Fichina.
Tarantulas' eye twitched. "Zey…zey can…zey can MAKE NEW TRACKS AT VILL? VHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ZIS?"
"Er…because we didn't know?" one of the Nihilators said awkwardly.
"Yeah, I mean, it's not like the specs for the Enchanted Express and all its special features are available online, and the company that owns it has some kind of security clause curse that kills spies who try to steal the information from their records or something," another Nihilator said.
"ZAT VAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!" Tarantulas snapped, lasering their heads off. (Is lasering a word? No? Well, you know what he did.) "Open fire again…but zis time don't target ze train or ze tracks, but everyzing else. Blow it all to ze Abyss! Let's see how vell zeir train runs if zere's no ground to lay zeir tracks on!"
The ships opened fire, saturating the desert in munitions blasts. The earth shook almost continuously as blast after blast ripped through it, tearing open giant fissures, opening gaping craters, and fusing the sand into glass. The train was forced to swerve all over the place to keep from getting struck by any of the residual blasts or running into the chasms being rent into the landscape, the magical tracks weaving this way and that as the engineers frantically altered their course on a second-by-second basis to keep them out of danger. While the train could probably take a few direct hits—it had some very powerful shields, after all—it wasn't something they were especially eager to test, especially considering the sheer amount of firepower being arrayed against them. Scans even reported what looked like a few nuclear warheads which they were forced to blast out of the sky or transport elsewhere before they could hit the ground, since even a glancing blow from a bomb that strong could have serious repercussions.
"I think we've about done all we can down here," the Aron engineer said. "Think it's time we stopped dicking around on the ground and took the offensive to them?"
"I think that would be a good idea," the Ampharos agreed, tapping a communication rune. "Bruno, we're ready to initiate phase two. Is everyone ready?"
"We've all gotten into position, and Todd's team is ready to deploy. Lily's on standby to open the portal. We're good to go," the Machamp replied.
"Tell her to do it! Everything's ready up here!" the Ampharos said.
"Roger that. Everyone, get ready! The real fight's about to begin!" Bruno said.
A portal opened in front of the Enchanted Express. The train surged into it just before the land it had been running on could be vaporized by a tremendous laser blast fired from the 'mouth' of the Arachnoblast.
Tarantulas looked around frantically as the train disappeared into the portal. "Vhat ze…vhere did zey go? Vhere are zey? Stop ze bombardment, ve can't see anyzing viz everyone firing and zrowing up smoke! Find zem! Ve can't let zem get avay!"
The quaking stopped as the fleet halted its attack, sensors playing over the shattered landscape as they tried to locate the missing train. "We can't detect any motion on the ground—no, wait, there's something!" a Nihilator shouted.
"KILL IT!" Tarantulas shouted.
Every vessel in the fleet opened fire at once. The explosion was tremendous, a towering pillar of fire and smoke rising up into the air in the form of a tremendous mushroom cloud, a scorched crater smoldering in its wake. "Ooh, did we get it? Did we get it? Did we did we did we?" Chobin asked eagerly.
"Yes, sir, it was a direct hit! We completely destroyed…" the operator who'd reported the disturbance paused, checked his monitor, and frowned. He tapped it a few times, and then laughed Mareepishly. "Oh, uh, false alarm. Sensor glitch. There was nothing there after all. My bad."
Tarantulas screamed incoherently, fired a strand of webbing at the unlucky Nihilator, yanked him into his web, and viciously tore him to pieces, feasting on his entrails while the operator screamed in agony and Tarantulas' robot minions devoured his eyes and tongue. Chobin eagerly rolled forwards to catch some of the blood and body parts being thrown all over the place, only for them to splatter against the surface of his sphere. Mewling pathetically, he scratched at the interior of the sphere and licked at it desperately to see if he could get a taste of the gore, but naturally he couldn't. Pouting, he sat down in a huff, no longer finding his current conveyance as fun as it had seemed when the Doctor had put him in it a few hours ago.
Tarantulas looked up from the corpse of the operator, metal face covered in blood. "Anybody else want to report a sensor glitch?" he hissed, blood and bits of flesh spitting from his mandibles. A few of the hungrier Nihilators scrabbled to the floor to pick them up before the spiders could, while the rest just shook their heads. "GOOD!"
"Can Chobin get a piece of that?" Chobin asked Viers, who was gnawing on an arm that Tarantulas had thrown away in his frenzied rage. Viers considered for a moment, then took the limb out of his mouth and tapped it against the surface of the sphere several times, as if trying to push it through. (Actually, that's exactly what he was trying to do.) When that didn't work, he shrugged apologetically. Chobin sighed in disappointment. "Oh well. Thanks anyway." Viers grunted and went back to eating.
"Oh. Oh! I have something to report! And, uh, it's not a sensor glitch!" one of the other Nihilators reported quickly when Tarantulas turned his baleful glare at him.
"Vhat is it?" Tarantulas asked through gritted metal teeth.
"Um…there's a spatial anomaly opening right above us!" the Nihilator said.
Tarantulas blinked. "A spatial anomaly? Vat, like a portal? But vhy vould zey be opening a portal up zere?"
Tarantulas got his answer a moment later when the hole opened in the sky and the Enchanted Express came out. But it wasn't falling, as one might expect a train coming out of a portal several thousand feet above the ground would do. No, it was running as smoothly as if it were on the ground, the magical tracks continuing to lay themselves before the train to provide it with something to move on, completely ignoring the fact that it was a several-hundred ton vehicle that had absolutely no place in the sky. For a long moment, every Nihilator in every vessel stared in disbelief as the Enchanted Express merrily chugged by, seeming to be completely unaware how out of place it was or how it was blatantly defying the laws of gravity.
"…Viers?" Tarantulas said after a very long moment, staring at the train.
"Yes, Lord Doctor Tarantulas?" asked the Emboar, not taking his eyes off the Express.
"Is…is zat train flying?" Tarantulas asked.
"No, Lord Doctor Tarantulas," Viers said.
Tarantulas blinked, looked at Viers in confusion, looked at the train again, then back at Viers, feeling like he was missing something. "Vhat are you talking about? It's…it's right zere! In ze air! It's flying!"
"No. It runs. Like a nose that is stuffy from a cold, if that nose had legs and jumped off its face and walked away," Viers corrected. "If it flew, it would not be on rails. Trains run on rails. Planes do not. If they ran on rails, they would not be planes, they would be trains, just as trains would be cars if they ran off of rails and cars would be planes if they could fly. Which they cannot. Just like trains. Trains cannot fly. That is a train. Therefore, it is not flying. It is running."
"I…zat…" Tarantulas stammered, his processors emitting steam again as they struggled to compute the Emboar's not-logic. "You know vat, I'm just going to focus on ze 'rail' part and pretend you didn't say anyzing else. You're right, it's running on rails. If it veren't, it vould be flying. Instead, it's just…riding a magical set of rails zat carries it zhrough ze air."
"Yes," Viers grunted.
"I want a train that can run through the sky like a nose that is stuffy from a cold if it had legs and jumped off its face and walked away and into my mouth," Chobin babbled happily. "Then I could go 'choo-choo!' and run over birds and smash into airships and be like a sky pirate! Or a sky pirate who is in a train that is not on the ground, like a…uh…a…what do you call someone that is being like a pirate but is traveling on land instead of sea or sky or space or sex or space?"
"A bandit?" Tarantulas suggested.
"Yes, that! Like a flying bandit!" Chobin said eagerly.
"It is not flying. It is on rails. It is running. It is a train. Trains do not fly," Viers said.
"Yes, that! Like a not-flying bandit who rides something that runs through the air on rails but isn't flying because trains do not fly!" Chobin said eagerly. "And maybe I could dress up in a cape and top hat and whiplash mustache and tie someone up and drop them on the train tracks and rape them and rape them and eat part of them then let them get run over by the train and then rape them and rape them and eat the rest of them then get run over myself by the next train then get cloned back to life and rape and eat what's left of me."
"Yes," Viers grunted.
Tarantulas ground his teeth, the grating sound of metal against metal filling the room. His sensors cheerfully told him stupidity levels in the room were abnormally high. Normally he would be able to tolerate this, but this day was shaping up to be a lot worse than he had hoped. He wanted someone to take his frustration out on, and he knew just the individual to do it to. His mechanical eye telescoped outwards and projected a hologram of a Galvantula wearing a skin-tight black stealth suit with complex circuitry woven into the fabric violently throttling a very bruised and bloody Girafarig. "Tell me what I want to know! How can I win him-"
"Ahem," Tarantulas coughed.
The Galvantula stiffened and abruptly let go of the Girafarig. "O-oh! Doctor! Um, I was just interrogating the oracle-"
"Yes, I noticed," Tarantulas said snidely. "I take it to mean you haven't made any progress in obtaining any information from her?"
"…W-well…um…no, not as such," the electric spider admitted reluctantly. "But I think I've almost broken her, I just need a little more time-"
"More time? You've had hours!" Tarantulas bellowed furiously. "I gave you so much time zat if you'd had any longer, I'd have had to call ze whole damn attack off because you'd be too close to Fichina's borders! And in spite of all zis time, you have been unable to give me ONE. SINGLE. PIECE OF USEFUL INFORMATION ABOUT ZEIR PLANS REGARDING OUR PLANS OR WHAT ZEIR CAPABILITIES ARE! AS SUCH, I'VE BEEN HUMILIATED REPEATEDLY IN FRONT OF MY OWN MONS AS MY EVERY ATTACK OR STRATEGEM IS FLAWLESSLY COUNTERED DUE TO ZEIR PULLING SOME NEW TRICK OUT OF ZEIR ASSES! ZEY HAVEN'T EVEN FIRED A SINGLE SHOT AND YET I'VE ALREADY BEEN MADE A FOOL OF AT LEAST HALF A DOZEN TIMES, VICH IS SOMEZING ZAT VOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU'D DONE YOUR JOB PROPERLY AND EXTRACTED ZE PERTINENT INFORMATION FROM ZAT STUPID SOOZSAYER OR ZE OZZERS BEFORE ZIS WHOLE DAMN MESS STARTED!"
Denchu recoiled. "D-Doctor, I can still fix this! I can-"
"No! No you can't! It's too late, Denchu! Have you looked outside at any point in ze last few minutes?" Tarantulas shouted.
"Actually, no, I'm in a luggage car in the middle of a closed hangar, there aren't really any windows to-" she started.
Tarantulas continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Zeir train is FLYING, Denchu!"
"Running," Viers interrupted.
"What?" Tarantulas snapped.
"Running," Viers repeated. "Like a nose that is stuffy from a cold, if that nose had legs and jumped off its face and walked away. It is not flying. It is on rails. It is running. It is a train. Trains do not fly."
Tarantulas' eye twitched dangerously, but barely managed to restrain himself from lasering a hole between the Emboar's flat glassy eyes. "Zeir train is running, Denchu, right outside, on some stupid magical track zat is flagrantly defying ze law of gravity! Do you understand vhat I am saying? Zey are giving a vopping middle claw to ze laws of physics, and to me! Do you have any idea vhat zat feels like?"
"Well, no, I-" Denchu started.
"No, of course you don't, because you're STUPID!" he shouted. "And can't do anyzing right! And if zey can fly-"
"Run," Viers corrected helpfully.
"If zey can run zhrough ze air like zey vere on ze ground," Tarantulas amended. "Who knows vat ze Abyss else zey can do? Oh vait, ze oracle does, and she's not telling, because you're completely incompetent!"
"The worst is yet to come," somebody rasped.
"Eh? Vhat vas zat?" Tarantulas said.
Denchu blinked her many purple eyes in surprise and looked offscreen. "That was…the oracle. That's the first thing I've heard her say since I started torturing her. She didn't even peep when I mutilated her friend."
"Vell, if she's in a talkative mood now, let's see vat she has to say, shall we?" Tarantulas suggested, narrowing his eyes. Denchu obediently pulled the Girafarig into view and turned her head to face the Doctor. "So, Cherry, vas it? You've been a very uncooperative oracle. I zought you vere supposed to tell people ze future, but I hear you've refused to tell my subordinate zere anyzing regarding current events. Vhy is zat, hmm? Isn't zat a violation of your oazhs or somezing?"
"Oh, not at all," Cherry said, smiling crookedly. "Just because someone asks me to tell them the future doesn't mean that I have to, or that I even have to tell it clearly. The only thing I will not do under any circumstances is lie, but that doesn't mean I can't obfuscate the truth, or withhold it entirely."
"A pity you hold so strongly to your morals. If you had simply told me vat I wanted to know, zis could have gone a lot easier for you or your friends," Tarantulas said.
"If I had told you what you wanted to know, what would keep me from completely fabricating a story and feeding you whatever I wanted you to hear?" Cherry retorted.
"Zat's true. Vhy didn't you?" Tarantulas asked.
"Like I said, I never lie about the future," Cherry said. "It's unprofessional. Of course, there's another reason too."
Tarantulas frowned. "And that is?"
Cherry smiled, showing several missing teeth. "I already know how this is going to end. I already know how my friends are going to defeat you. Anything I told you, whether it was a truth or a lie, would put that outcome at risk. By staying silent for this long, and ensuring that you would do what I knew you would, and that they would do what I knew they would, I've already guaranteed our victory. You aren't going to win, Doctor."
"Is zat so?" Tarantulas said in amusement, trying to conceal a hint of worry. "Vat makes you say zat? I've already proven your ability to predict ze future is not ironclad. You certainly didn't see yourself getting abducted and tortured, now did you?"
"I didn't," Cherry said. "However, since my vision of the future is currently 20/20 clear, I can only conclude that you not only do not have many of the devices you were able to use to somehow distort my precognition, but that none of them are on at the moment. That means my friends were able to find and neutralize all of the agents you left for them on the train, meaning there's nothing stopping the future I'm foreseeing currently from coming to pass."
"Wh-what? They found…th-then that must mean…my children?" Denchu chittered in alarm. Cherry smiled grimly but said nothing.
"…I don't believe you," Tarantulas said, narrowing his eyes. "I zink you're just trying to bluff me, make me so vorried I'll make a mistake and fulfill your prophecy for you."
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. But no matter what you choose to believe, know this: I have already foreseen the outcome of this battle. I have already foreseen my friends' victory over you. And…I have also foreseen what Oblivion's Shadow will do to you when you report your failure."
Tarantulas stiffened. "Is zat so?"
"Yes, it is," Cherry said.
Tarantulas narrowed his eyes. "Have you also foreseen vat is about to happen to you?"
"I have always known when I would die. That day is not today," Cherry said calmly.
"Wrong. Denchu, slit her zroat and feed her to your children," Tarantulas commanded.
Denchu complied at once, severing Cherry's carotid artery and watching dispassionately as she gasped and floundered on the floor, blood spurting from her neck in copious amounts. "What of the others?" she asked.
Tarantulas considered this for a moment. "Hmm. If zings do go sour, Herr Shadow might be pleased if I at least brought Ash to him in one piece, so leave him alone. Ze ozzer Lucario too, you know how rare zey are. Bellum keeps killing any ve find before I can properly experiment on zem, ze bitch. Ze Pupitars are supposed to have some kind of magical Aura link…zing to ze Lucarios, vhich might be vorzh studying…hmm…vat's zat Ghost do again?"
"She's a spiritualist," Denchu said.
Tarantulas grimaced. "Ah, zen it might not be ze best idea to kill her. Might make her spirit friends…angry."
"Very well. Ah…is there anything else?" Denchu asked.
"No, just vait zere, I'll send a team down in a minute to collect ze rest of our captives," Tarantulas said, shutting down the communication feed before she could say anything. He turned to a security officer. "Send a team down to get ze captives. Kill Denchu's children in front of her, zen zrow her out an airlock. I'm sure she'll survive, but if she's getting back to HQ she'll have to catch her own ride. Or valk." The Nihilator nodded and went off to carry out his orders. Tarantulas frowned after his minion was gone. "Do you zink zat vas a bit harsh?"
"Yes," Viers said.
"Oh, good, zat's vat I vas going for," Tarantulas said in relief. He turned his attention back to the main screen and frowned when he saw the Enchanted Express still chugging across the sky. "Vhy is zat still zere?"
"We, uh, were waiting for orders from you, Doctor," one of the bridge officers said awkwardly. "Should we fire, or…what?"
"Hmm. Have zey made any suspicious moves?" Tarantulas asked, scratching his chin.
"Other than their riding out of a portal and, as you so eloquently put it, 'giving a vopping middle claw to ze laws of physics, and to you,' no sir," the Nihilator reported.
"I see…" Tarantulas tapped his claws in thought. He wasn't sure he wanted to make the first move, since he wasn't positive what the response would be, but there didn't seem to be any other option available to him…or was there? "Activate ze tractor beams!" he cried, getting a brilliant idea.
"Sir?" asked the perplexed officer.
"Have each ship target a different car and pull zem apart!" Tarantulas explained. "If zey're separated, zey'll no longer be able to pull off zat gravity-defying trick of zeirs and vill be completely at our mercy! Plus, everyone on board vill be split up as vell, making it easier to pick zem off one by one! And even if zey try using portals, it won't affect us much since tractor beams are harmless, and at zis range and altitude zey von't be able to get far before running into somebody's tractor pull eventually!"
"And once they are hitched to our tractors, we shall use them to plow our fields with their faces until we have a full harvest…of VICTORY!" Viers bellowed. "Which also happens to taste like hay."
"Yaaaay! Chobin loves hay mazes!" Chobin cheered. "Chobin always gets lost and starts eating other children who are the getting losted in the labyrinth of hay as well until the Doctor comes and finds Chobin and takes him home and gives him dinner and a movie. Then he yells at Chobin for leaving pieces of straw all over the lab and ruining his experiments and forbids Chobin from ever going into a hay maze again, which is why Chobin always has to sneak out when the Doctor's not looking to go to a hay maze because the Doctor forbade Chobin from ever going to a hay maze again because whenever he goes he comes back covered in straw that messes up the lab and ruins the Doctor's latest experiments."
"It's…it's not zat kind of tractor," Tarantulas said lamely.
"Oh," Viers said in disappointment.
"So no hay mazes?" Chobin asked in disappointment.
"No Chobin, no hay mazes," Tarantulas said. Chobin pouted.
"Then what kind of tractors are they being? If they are not the kind of tractors that plow fields with faces until we have a full harvest of victory?" Viers asked. "Which also happens to taste like hay?"
"Zey're…um…energy beams zat grab an object and, vell, pull it towards you, basically," Tarantulas said.
"Oh," said Viers. "Then why are they being called tractors if there are no tractors? They should be called…Grabber beams. Or Puller beams. Or something that is making sense. But not tractor beams. Because that makes no sense. Because they are not tractors."
"No, they aren't," Chobin agreed. "There is no hay around, to roll in and cover yourself in and make mazes out of and pack people into balers so they will be gruesomely squashed into sticky bloody bales!"
"I…zat's not…" Tarantulas facepalmed. "Look, can ve just stop talking about hay already? Just activate ze tractor beams!"
"Right away, Doctor," one of the Nihilators said. There was a pause. "Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh? Uh-oh? UH-OH? Vhat's wrong now?" Tarantulas screamed, circuits sizzling and starting to shut down one by one as they overloaded.
"Er, our beams are having trouble grabbing onto them," the Nihilator said uneasily. He pressed a button. A blue energy beam shot out towards one of the cars, struck it, and…slid off. That was the best way to describe it. "See? There's some kind of…I dunno, diffusion field going on. Our tractor beams are unable to get a secure hold because the air molecules scramble and weaken the beams."
"…VAT? Seriously?" Tarantulas cried.
"I'm afraid so," the Nihilator said apologetically.
"But…but…zen vhy didn't zey do zat earlier, vhen ve stole zeir luggage car?" Tarantulas protested. The Nihilator shrugged.
On the train…
"Leo, why didn't we use that anti-tractor beam diffusion field when they stole the luggage car?" Sasha asked.
"Because the car was disconnected from us by then, and that stupid Galvantula disabled the thing that would have let us activate it remotely," Leo explained.
"Oh, all right then," Sasha said.
Back in the Arachnoblast…
"We're also having trouble locking onto them," another Nihilator reported. "We can point our weapons at them, but then the sensors get all…fuzzy."
"Fuzzy?" Tarantulas asked slowly.
"Yes, fuzzy," the Nihilator said.
"Fuzzy like Viers' heiny which is fuzzy and very hot, by which I mean to say it is of a high temperature and not that it is attractive, not that Chobin wouldn't mind getting a bite out of it in the literal and sexual sense, but that is because Chobin is a disgusting cannibal and sexual deviant who will eat and/or fuck anything that moves and many things that don't?" Chobin babbled cheerfully.
"Uh…no, not that fuzzy," the Nihilator said in confusion.
"Oh," Chobin said, sulking in disappointment. Viers tried looking over his shoulder to see if his rear end was in fact fuzzy, but found it difficult to do so, and so kept turning in circles trying to get a good look at his tail until he got dizzy and fell into Chobin's sphere, pushing it away and sending it rolling across the control room again. "Wheeeee!"
"…You know, I zink I am beginning to understand vhy ve keep losing to zese guys…" Tarantulas said, eye twitching. "Okay, you know vhat? Fuck it. I've tried being clever, I've tried being cautious, I've tried zinking outside ze box, and you know vhat? It's not vorking. Screw it. Our targeting computers can't lock onto zem, right?"
"Yes sir," the weapons officer said.
"But can ve still aim manually?" Tarantulas queried.
"It looks that way, yes," the Nihilator said.
"Zen open fire! Hit zem viz everyzing ve have! BLOW ZEM OUT OF ZE SKY!" Tarantulas shouted.
"Well, look at that, looks like they're finally done dicking around and are ready to take us seriously," Briney commented as the hundreds of cannons on the surrounding warships pivoted and took aim at them.
"…You almost sound happy about that," said a disturbed Goldor.
"I am! We've been sitting here waiting for them to stop messing around and start fighting for real for what feels like forever," Briney said. He grinned and pounded a fist into his palm. "And now…it's time to kick some ass!"
"Yeah!" Buck cheered. He paused. "But Captain, how are you going to kick ass when you don't have any legs?"
"I'm Captain Briney! I'm so badass I don't even need legs to kick people's asses, I just gotta look at them, and the psychic imprint of my telekinetic feet gets planted in their buttocks," Briney bragged.
"Ooooh," Buck said.
"Goldor, why can't you be as rugged and, what's the word, kickass as the Captain?" Silvia asked Goldor judgmentally.
"Dammit, womon, I'm a wealthy mon! Do you know how much it would ruin my gold finish if I went around all day kicking people in the posterior? I'm filthy rich; I've got people I can hire to kick posteriors for me!" Goldor huffed.
"Bruno, is everyone in place?" the Ampharos asked.
Bruno tapped the communication rune. "Yes. We're all ready. If you're going to do it, do it now, they'll fire any minute."
"We've already started the disengagement process. But don't worry, our shields are strong enough to take a few solid blows…but hopefully, that's all we'll take!" the head engineer said. "Undoing couplings in three…two…one…"
"FIRE!" Tarantulas bellowed.
The Nihilators fired. The Enchanted Express vanished in a ridiculously gigantic and oversized conflagration.
"Yes! YES! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Tarantulas cackled, laughing insanely as the shockwave from the blast washed over the Arachnoblast, the explosion so strong the mobile fortress was actually forced to take a few steps back to steady itself. "I von! I VON! IN YOUR FACE, STUPID ORACLE! DOCTOR TARANTULAS CONTROLS HIS OWN FATE!"
"D-Doctor, we're picking up something moving in the middle of the explosion!" a Nihilator cried, interrupting the Doctor's celebration.
The Doctor's mood came crashing down. "Vat?" he said weakly.
"Make that several somethings!" the Nihilator corrected himself.
The Doctor's mood came crashing down…more. "VAT?"
As the flames from the tremendous convergence of firepower died down, a number of oblong shapes became visible in the fading blaze. The first to emerge from the inferno was the Enchanted Express's engine car. Next came the VIP car, followed by the regular passenger cars, then the dining car, then the one used for crew quarters. Normally this might not seem like a big deal (well, other than them riding out of an inferno, which is pretty badass), but there was one tiny detail that made this event special.
None of the cars were attached to each other. Each of them was rolling through the air on their own power, generating their own tracks to ride on as they scattered away in all directions from the explosion. A small group of flying Pokémon led by Todd swooped downwards from the epicenter of the point where the cars had all split up, but the Nihilators were too busy staring at the impossible sight to notice. "But…but zey…guh…how…how…HOW?" Tarantulas screamed, feeling like he was losing his already somewhat tenuous grip on his sanity.
"That is being so cool! Why are Chobin's toy trains never acting like that and being so cool unlike Chobin's toy trains?" Chobin whined.
"Because you are always eating them?" Viers guessed. "Which you should not do, because toy trains are toys. And trains. You don't eat toys. Or trains. They are not food. They are toys and trains, which are not food. And you should not eat that which is not food, because if it is not food, why are you eating it?"
"Because Chobin is hungry, like a hungry person who is very hungry," Chobin said.
"Then why not eat food? Food is good. It is not toy trains. It is food, which is good, unlike toy trains, which are not," Viers said.
"Things that aren't food can be good to eat too!" Chobin said. "Like broken glass that is broken because Chobin has shattered it all over the place because he is liking to break things because it is fun. Or dangerous chemicals that have labels that says they are dangerous and should never be eaten, especially not by Chobin, so of course Chobin has to eat them. Or robot parts. Or underwear. Or hair. Or remote controls. Or circuit boards. Or eggshells. Or rocks. Or a barbecue grill!"
"Those are not food. Food is good. Those are bad. Therefore, they are not food," Viers said firmly.
"They taste so yummy in my tummy, though!" Chobin said.
Viers paused. "Really?"
"Yes! But then Chobin's stomach gets all owie and the Doctor makes it all better…by killing Chobin and cloning him back to life," Chobin said.
"Ah," Viers said.
Chobin moaned and rubbed his stomach. "Ohhh…What Chobin wouldn't give for some broken glass that is broken because Chobin has shattered it all over the place because he is liking to break things because it is fun right about now…"
"Vhat do zey zink zey're doing?" Tarantulas cried in alarm.
"From their trajectories, sir, it looks like seven of them are heading for our capital ships, one is heading for the ground, and one is…coming right at us!" a Nihilator reported.
"Ze Abyss? Vhat are zey up to, coming right at us?" wondered the perplexed Tarantulas. "Rrrr…who cares! I've had enough of zis! Now zat zey're separated, I highly doubt zey'll be able to use portals so easily anymore, meaning zey're vulnerable to a full-on assault! Hit zem viz everyzing ve've got!"
"Yes, sir!" the bridge crew replied, relaying his orders to the rest of the fleet.
The myriad cannons on the immense warships aimed and fired in the general direction of the cars, unable to target them accurately due to the diffusion field but figuring if they fired enough shots in a wide enough spread they'd be able to hit them. What they didn't count on, however, was several of the passengers deciding to get out of the moving train—yes, several thousand feet in the air!—to do something about it. Fantina, Bow, and Lily appeared around the VIP car, using their powers to repel, destroy, or deflect the projectiles fired at them. Briney, Goldor, Silvia, and Buck got in formation around one of the passenger cars, using their psychic abilities and magic to create a super-Protect force field around the car while telekinetically repelling anything that might be strong enough to crack their shield. Sparky, Happy, and Rose, the first two wearing their Plate armors, gathered around another passenger car, Sparky using his power over electricity to generate a magnetic field to dispel most of the lasers and missiles while Happy vibrated her wings at a frequency high enough to tear the tougher rockets apart and Rose generated a whirlwind strong enough to blow the shrapnel generated by her teammates' attacks into the next wave of projectiles, destroying them in a series of terrific explosions. Captain Salty and Zippo, wearing their Plates, used their mastery over water and fire to create shields of super-thick solid water around their car while also generating enough literal firepower to equal if not overcome that being thrown at them. Butler and Diane, despite lacking any Plates or other empowering artifacts, were both strong enough to defend another passenger car by either psychokinetically destroying projectiles or having Butler open his mouth and absorb anything that came at them into the black hole inside of him. The last passenger car and the dining car lacked any defenders other than a dozen or so extra shed skins Happy had generated and wind spirits conjured up by Bow, which proved to be adequate to the task of protecting their vehicles even if it wasn't quite as flashy at the rest. The staff car and locomotive had similar protectors which helped them to repel enemy fire as they both headed relentlessly for their respective destinations: the ground, and the Arachnoblast.
As Tarantulas gawked in surprise and the fleet paused to reload, the Enchanted Express went on the offensive. Panels flipped open on the armored sides and tops of each of the cars and one hundred percent mechanical, completely un-magical laser cannons and rocket launchers started blasting away at everything around them. Most of the projectiles did little more than dent the shields of the larger vessels or the Arachnoblast, but they did a number on the smaller fighters, and Nihilator ships started dropping from the skies in droves. Others tried to pull off evasive maneuvers and return fire, but the Pokémon protecting each car weren't having any of that. Magic might have been out of the question for direct attacks, but that didn't mean they had no other abilities they could bring to bear. Fantina and Lily combined their powers to create great fireballs, conflagrations, and other fiery projections which smashed into the fighters and washed over the decks of the battleships, overheating and detonating their cannons as their munitions caught fire. Gigantic Shadow Balls peppered the airspace, creating a maze of aerial mines it was virtually impossible for the enemy ships to navigate without crashing into one and exploding, setting off a chain reaction that detonated all the others in range and tore apart any nearby fighters as well. When one heavily damaged fighter made a kamikaze run directly at the car, hoping to take them out with it, Lily smirked and opened a portal directly in its path. The dying airship flew into it and vanished without a trace.
"Where did you send zat?" Fantina asked Lily. On cue, the bridge of the nearest battleship exploded, and the giant vessel slowly sank out of the air as explosions wracked its length, crushing any fighters too slow to get out of the way in time and smashing into another battleship as it went down, dealing it a rather bad blow. Not bad enough to sink it, but there was a lot of smoke and flames jetting from its damaged sections. "Oh, well done!" Fantina complimented Lily, impressed. Lily blushed but said nothing.
Bow, seeing the damaged vessel, got an idea. So far she'd just been using her air elementals and wind powers to buffet the fighters about and smack them into each other and blow artillery shells and missiles back at their launchers, but Lily's masterful act of sabotage gave her the inspiration to take it up a notch. Calling on all her power, she floated away from her mother and new friend, a shield of swirling air around her effortlessly repelling any attacks fired her way without a thought. Once she had judged herself at a safe distance, she began spinning in place, turning into a purple blur that spread outwards above and below her, forming a giant violet tornado in seconds at least as big as the ones Briney and the Goldorringtons manifested whenever they combined their spinning powers together. The incredibly strong winds started pulling at all the enemy ships within range, damaged or otherwise. They desperately set the throttle to maximum and tried a full reverse, and when that didn't work, frantically fired every scrap of ammunition they had into the vortex to try and dispel it. This didn't work as planned, unfortunately, for there was no solid target within the whirlwind for them to hit. Bow had dissolved into wind itself and become the twister, sweeping up the solid projectiles and spinning them up her central column while reflexively 'hardening' the air enough in spots so that it either deflected or refracted the lasers, rendering them harmless. As such, all the Nihilators did was make things worse for themselves when the first of their ships was sucked into the tornado and ran into the very same explosives they had oh-so helpfully given Bow to play with. The fireworks as the battleships were torn apart by the violent winds and their own munitions was, needless to say, impressive.
"Oooh," Lily said.
"Well done, daughter," Fantina said proudly.
Hey, was she trying to one-up you? B asked.
Don't be preposterous. Why would she do that? Besides, it's not like I'm able to do something as impressive as that, Lily said.
Not yet, anyway, B said optimistically.
Not everyone was quite as convinced, however. "Hey, she stole that move from us!" Buck complained.
"Buck, darling, don't be ridiculous, she's a wind mage, they all know how to do that sort of thing," Silvia chided him.
"That may be so, but that tornado was bigger than the ones we were able to generate yesterday! It's like she's flaunting her wealth and power at us!" Goldor said angrily.
"…I don't quite see how you got that conclusion," said the confused Silvia.
"Neither do I, but I agree with Goldor on one thing: I take that as a challenge that we can't make a tornado as good as hers!" Briney said.
"…Ah, I really don't think-" Silvia protested.
"Are you challenging my ability to recognize a challenge, womon?" Briney said, narrowing his eye.
"N-no, I just-" Silvia stammered.
"Look at it this way, dear, if we can do as well as Fantina's daughter, perhaps we'll rise in her esteem of us," Goldor suggested slyly.
"Oh! What a wonderful idea! Let's give it a try, then!" Silvia said eagerly. Briney hid his smile. Excellent, just as he had planned. He didn't really believe Bow had been challenging them or flaunting anything, but he didn't want his reputation as the Nihilators' worst nightmare to be tarnished by letting someone else cause more mayhem and wanton destruction to their forces than him!
As they had so many times before, they started spinning, the Goldorringtons whirling around Briney with Rapid Spin while the good Captain formed the core with Gyro Ball. Within moments, they had a towering whirlwind of metallic hues that rose into the heavens and began sucking in every Nihilator ship within range…
And yet, it still wasn't as large as the one Bow had made. "It's not good enough! We need more power!" Goldor grunted.
"But dear, I don't think we can-" Silvia protested.
"More power coming right up!" Briney said, spinning even faster and causing the tornado to visibly grow.
It grew so visibly, in fact, that it caught Bow's attention. "Say, zat's not a bad twister…hmm, but it could stand to be stronger. Say, do you mind if I cut in?"
"What? No, this is our-" Goldor protested, outraged.
"Of course, milady! We would be happy to have you!" Silvia said quickly.
"Eh, so long as we kill a bunch of Nihilators, I don't care," Briney said.
"If it'll make everything stop spinning sooner, I'm all for it," Buck moaned. "I'm getting dizzy…ooooohhhhhh…"
The purple twister that was Bow spun over to and integrated with the one created by the four metallic Pokémon, adding a powerful purple streak to its spiral. With Bow's power added to their own, the tornado swelled up to astonishing proportions, becoming a massive chromatic hurricane that engulfed a full quarter of the Nihilator fleet within seconds of its formation and came dangerously close to swallowing the rest soon after. "Ack! Zis is too much!" Tarantulas cried in alarm as the Arachnoblast shook, its massive frame groaning as its mechanical legs dug into the ground to try and keep from being sucked up by the tornado.
"Doctor, we can't hold out much longer! What do we do?" one of the bridge crew yelled while many of the others ran around screaming in panic only to get flattened by a giggling Chobin as he rolled all over the place.
"Simple: change ze weazher!" Tarantulas ordered. "Fire ze Solar Cannon!"
The Arachnoblast tilted its head up, jaws opening wide as the cannon in its mouth gathered power. With tremendous recoil that almost slammed the head into the body, it fired a ball of golden energy straight up towards the Sun. It faded from view as it vanished into the sky…
And then there was a blinding flash of light and suddenly the sunlight grew brighter, the temperature got higher, the humidity rose sharply, and all the metal began to sizzle as the artificial Sunny Day made an already hot day in the desert even hotter. As the harsh beams of the intensified Sun burned down on them, the five Pokémon were forced to stop spinning, the tornado vanishing around them and leaving them rather dizzy. "What the…why did…why did we stop?" Goldor asked, eyes swirling.
"In a battle, you can only have one weather condition on the field at a time…first it was our tornado, now it's Sunny Day," Briney said, shaking his head to try and stop seeing quadruple of everything.
"But…Whirlwind or Gyro Ball or Rapid Spin or…whatever the heck it is we did weren't weather attacks!" Buck protested.
"Tell zat to ze Nihilators," said the very dazed Bow.
Fantina squinted up at the intensified Sun. "Hmm…unpleasant, but I zink zis might be just what we needed, don't you zink, Lily?"
Lily nodded in agreement. "Yes…it's time to test that new spell we've been working on and see if we can't bring everyone out for this fight."
"Diane! Butler! Bow! Goldor! Silvia! Buck! Rose! Begin casting Black Sun, just like we practiced!" Fantina shouted to the others, her voice carried to their ears by magic. Immediately, they all stopped what they were doing and began chanting incantations, bodies glowing as they gathered their power.
Tarantulas frowned. "Vhat are zey doing now? Surely zey know ve are impervious to magic…unless…could zey have found a vay around zat? Quickly, concentrate our fire on zose mages! Vhile zey're casting, zeir guard is down!"
"Firing now!" the gunner said as the order was relayed to the fleet and they started focusing their weapons on the mages rather than the train cars, which were still rolling around doing damage.
Fortunately for our heroes, none of those shots landed. "Ha, not on my watch you don't!" Briney said as he quickly hovered in front of Bow and the Goldorringtons, forming a Protect barrier around them while using his Psychic abilities to deflect or redirect as many projectiles as he could. The ones that couldn't hammered into his barrier, causing him to flinch and grind his teeth as the constant firepower slowly eroded at his will. Come on…whatever you're doing, finish it quickly! He thought. He blinked in surprise when a powerful wind surged around his barrier, easing his tension and repelling more of the incoming missiles. He smirked when he realized that Bow's air elementals were lending a hand, seeking to do whatever they could to protect their friend. Heh…the lass has some pretty loyal friends. I'd have expected something made of wind to be much more fickle and unreliable…whatever it is that's caused them to take such a consistent interest in her affairs, and therefore the rest of ours, I'm thankful for the help.
The wind elementals were also doing what they could to protect the other spellcasters, with help from the remaining fighters who weren't too engrossed in summoning magical power. "Upon my honor, you fiends shall not touch a hair on these noble ladies' heads!" Sparky declared from the back of his winged lightning-dragon-horse steed as he used the powers of the Zap Plate to erect an electromagnetic barrier that absorbed energy blasts and emitted bolts of electricity that fried and destroyed the missiles that came at him, Lily, and Fantina, whom he had valiantly decided to protect.
"You keep your stinking paws off my girl, or you're gonna wipe out big time!" Zippo threatened angrily as he hovered protectively in front of Rose, hurling fireballs almost constantly and creating walls of flame and superheated air to deflect artillery fire. He looked rather magnificent in his Flame Plate armor, though not quite as good as Surtrit, but then again, Surtrit had been a bronzed demigod, whereas Zippo was…well, Zippo. His body was covered in flexible crimson armor with gold filigree of flames and dragons decorating the segmented plates and links holding his suit together, with an especially large flame symbol embossed on his chest. Vents on the sides of his limbs emitted jets of flame that grew bigger and hotter the more intensity he put into his attacks. A pair of long vertical vents on his back emitted two immense waves of flame-like wings, which sadly were more ornamental than functional since he was a Charmeleon and therefore still unable to fly. He compensated for that, however, by riding on top of a surfboard made of molten rock that swished back and forth on a cushion of gravity-defying lava, making fiery 'waves' in midair. His tail flame was ensconced in an ornate metal and crystal cage that resembled a lantern, offering it protection from the elements. A sword and shield made of flames were gripped in his clawed gauntlets. His head was clad in a helmet in the shape of a Charizard's head, with a pair of long metal horns growing out the back and eyes that were literally flaming. The jaws of the Charizard head opened to reveal Zippo's snout, teeth clenched in determination as he mustered all the power he had available to him for the sake of protecting Rose. So long as his tail flame burned, along with the flame in his heart, he would not let a single enemy missile through!
Captain Salty and Happy were doing the same thing forButlerand Diane; however, they did not share the same level of intensity and determination as their fiery teammate. "Shouldn't we go help him?" Happy asked in concern as she fired stingers and Bug-type blasts while mentally directing her shed-skin minions around the sky, putting them in defensive formations to help them repel the enemy volley. Several of them were unable to hold the line and were destroyed, but there were always more where they came from.
Salty shook his head as he conjured a wall of solid water with a swish of his tentacle, several dozen missiles exploding harmlessly against it. "No. This is something the lad's got to do for himself. Yesterday, he was unable to fight alongside the rest of us due to the enchantresses needing his Plate to summon Surtrit, so he could do little more than take on some grunts and help blow up a frost giant that was already severely wounded. He wasn't there to protect Rose or assist his teammates when we needed it. Now that he has his power back, he's determined to prove his worth and show how committed he is to the battle by fighting just as strongly as the rest of us…as well as the depths of his feelings for Rose. As much as anything, for Zippo this is a fight for love."
"…I see. I suppose Leo must be upset that he can't be up here to fight with Lily, isn't he?" Happy realized.
Salty chortled. "You have no idea how hard he begged for me to lend him the Splash Plate. It was kind of sad, really."
"Leo's contributing just as much to this effort as the rest of us," Happy pointed out. "We might not have been able to get everything up and running in time for Tarantulas' assault if it weren't for his technical know-how."
"And for all that know-how, he's still stuck inside one of these cars like the others who can't fly, unable to do much more than steer his car and fire the weapons," Salty pointed out. "And while he's (relatively) safe inside the armored car, the love of his life is out here, risking her unlife…again. And unlike Zippo, Leo doesn't have an enchanted suit of armor or the like he can use to come out here and join us without putting himself at risk of getting his head blown off by a stray missile."
"…I see. That is rather sad," Happy admitted. She frowned. "Speaking of helping out, I can't help but think this would be just the slightest bit easier if Kairyu had stayed. I know he said he's terrible with weather magic, but I honestly think we could have used the extra mon."
"Maybe, but so could Todd," Salty pointed out. "Aside from Kairyu, all he's got protecting him are a bunch of flighty spirits, an empty shell, and a fragment of Fantina. Isn't a complete living breathing Pokémon an improvement over a crew like that?"
"Hmm. Good point," Happy said. "Even so, I would still be happier with another mon or two up here to help out."
"Then it's a good thing we'll have another mon or two up here to help out in just a moment," Salty said with a smirk. "I think our mystical friends here are ready."
The armored Tentacool was correct. As power surged around them and their chanting grew louder, each of the mages raised their limbs (or appropriate appendages) into the air, a sphere of red and black energy forming between them. When the spheres were fully formed, they dropped their limbs, and the energy balls zigzagged up into the sky, converging into a single massive sphere which shot up towards the Sun and disappeared. There was a flash of light, and then a tremendous pulse of energy shot out from the Sun, causing the skies to turn the color of blood and the Sun itself to become pitch-black with a blazing red corona. Tarantulas gaped at this, the latest in a long line of unexpected impossibilities that were making his day utterly miserable. "Ze Sun. Zey…zey did somezing to ze SUN? VHAT ZE ABYSS?"
Chobin screamed in horror. "No! Not the Sun! Anything but the Sunny Sun of Sunliness that shines warmly upon all things and grants life to anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light and incinerates anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light! Chobin is loving the Sunny Sun of Sunliness that shines warmly upon all things and grants life to anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light and incinerates anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light even more than he is loving little Chobin whom he so enjoys playing with and holding and squeezing and biting and drinking the yummy white and red liquid that comes out and sticking it into orifices on other people's bodies! In fact, Chobin has always wanted to pierce the Sunny Sun of Sunliness that shines warmly upon all things and grants life to anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light and incinerates anyone who bathes in its brilliant all-encompassing light with little Chobin whom he so enjoys playing with and holding and squeezing and biting and drinking the yummy white and red liquid that comes out and sticking it into orifices on other people's bodies, even though doing so would cause Chobin to catch on fire and die in horrible burning agony of owies and flames and screaming and barbecue sauce!" As everyone stared at him, he considered the Sun again then said, "On second thought, Chobin is liking the Sun much better this way. It reflects the black void that is being Chobin's hardened seed of a heart."
"Um…right…" Tarantulas said slowly. "Can anyone tell me vhat just happened?"
"The Sun is unchanged, sir," a Nihilator reported as he checked and double-checked his sensors. "It only looks like it has from our angle because that spell they cast has done something to the sky directly above us, rearranging the way the molecules in the upper layers of the atmosphere are set up to alter how it refracts extraplanetary radiation. As such, it's filtering the amount of sunlight we receive, resulting in the strange phenomenon we're currently witnessing."
Tarantulas frowned. "Filtering sunlight? But vhy vould zey…" He gasped. "Do a spectral analysis! Is zis rearranged atmosphere keeping out ultraviolet radiation?"
"Um…according to my scanners, yes," the same Nihilator from before said.
"Of course! Just as I zought!" Tarantulas cackled. "Zey're trying to make external conditions more suitable for zem to avaken zeir vampire allies and add zem to ze fight!"
"Oh! Oh! Does that mean-" Chobin asked hopefully.
"No Chobin, you can't become a vampire," Tarantulas said. Chobin pouted.
"Vampires are sissies. Sissies who are abusive boyfriends and sparkle in the sun. Like diamonds. Diamonds who are abusive boyfriends. Like the wedding rings of abusive husbands. Except only the rings sparkle, rather than the husbands. Unless the husbands are vampires too. Or Shiny Pokémon. Or Pokémon with crystals or polished surfaces. And drink blood. I shall crush them so that they sparkle no more. And abuse their girlfriends no longer. Then I can abuse them instead. But I will not sparkle. Because I am not a sissy," Viers said.
"…Um, zese vampires don't sparkle in ze sun, zey burn up," Tarantulas said.
Viers snorted. "They are still sissies. Sissies who cannot stand the Sun. I can stand the Sun. I am a Fire-type. I burn always. Like a barbecue grill, or an oil slick on fire in the ocean. That kills thousands of marine Pokémon. Just as I do when I go swimming. Not that I go swimming much, since I am a Fire-type. Who burns always. Like a barbecue grill, or an oil slick-"
"Okay, okay, ve get ze point!" Tarantulas snapped. "On zeir own, zey might not be able to do much, I agree…but in conjunction viz everyone else, and resistance to all zeir veaknesses—if vhat I heard about zose silver-proof amulets are true—zey could be a real problem! Ve can't let zem vake up! Concentrate all our fire on ze VIP car, zat is vere our intelligence indicates zey are being kept!"
"Yes sir!" There was a pause. "Uh, which one is the VIP car?"
"You idiot!" Tarantulas snapped. "It's…uh…" Tarantulas paused and took another look at the train cars rolling all over the place. Due to their high speeds and the protective armor they were all wearing, they all looked pretty much the same, except for the engine car. "Zat's…um…a very good question…"
While a confused Tarantulas tried to figure out which of the cars zipping around shooting at his warships contained the vampires, the staff car continued its descent towards the ground, pursued by a rather large fighter squadron. Since it wasn't attacking any of the larger ships and had no recognizable protectors other than the generic Happy shells or wind spirits, it was deemed to be of a lower priority than the other cars, which were actively battling the fleet. However, none of the train cars could be allowed to escape in case they were trying to use a clever ruse to make it to Fichina to get backup, so the Nihilators were still fully committed to destroying it.
Unfortunately for the Nihilators, the car's occupants were fully committed to destroying them in return. As the car weaved back and forth to dodge the enemy missiles while doing its best to return fire, one of the windows on the side slid open and Sam stuck his head out. He squinted at the enemy fighters shooting at him, seeming to be unbothered by the incredibly high-speed winds whipping by him or the laser blasts and explosions that kept striking the hull only inches away from his face. As his gums and ears flapped in the wind, he pulled out his gun, took aim, and fired a dozen shots. An equal number of enemy fighters exploded, despite the fact that each ship was heavily shielded and made of metal that should have been thick enough to keep it from being destroyed so easily by a single bullet fired from a handheld weapon. "Ha! Beat that!" he called back into the train.
"Okay," said George, who was sticking her head out of a window on the other side of a car. Loading one of her special arrows into her crossbow, she took aim and fired. The fighters didn't even bother maneuvering out of the way, seeing little threat in a weapon as primitive as an arrow. They were aware that George had special 'trick' arrows, yes, but they were confident their shields were strong enough to guard against her explosive shots. They were correct. Unfortunately, the arrow George had just shot wasn't explosive in nature. As it passed through a large cluster of ships, it detonated, releasing not a conflagration but an electromagnetic pulse. Now, this wasn't such a bad thing for the Nihilators, since their systems were hardwired to keep them from being shorted out so easily. Their shields, on the other hand, were not so lucky, and the very next arrow George fired was an explosive one that struck her target, one of the enemy ships' wings, directly. The explosion ripped apart the fighters' wing and sent it spiraling out of control, smashing into the closest fighter, which smashed into the fighter next to it, which smashed into the fighter next to it, causing a chain reaction that destroyed a good portion of the Nihilators' formation and downed two dozen ships.
"That only counts as one!" Sam shouted angrily as George gave him a smug grin. They both went back to shooting. This, in combination with the cars' auto-firing blasters and the backup provided by their escorts, destroyed the rest of the enemy squadron by the time the car finally touched down, hit the brakes, and gradually rolled to a screeching, sparking stop on the battle-scarred ground, the tracks fading away. Noticing this, the Nihilators dispatched another squadron to attack the unmoving target, currently too busy trying to hit the fast-moving cars buzzing around them to shoot at the ground below. This would prove to be a deadly mistake, and one that could not be rectified by the time the reinforcements arrived.
"Heh, look at them," Sam commented as he and George popped open the door and stared out at the incredible dogfight going on over their heads. "All so busy shooting at the others they've practically forgotten about us."
"More the fool they, since we have exactly what they're having such a fit about right here," George commented as she shoved a large, ornate coffin onto the sandy scorched ground. "Gimme a hand with these, will you?"
Together, Sam and George carried out the other two coffins the sleeping vampires were sequestered in, which they had very cleverly transported from the undead Pokémons' quarters in the VIP car to the staff car in one of the large lulls during the fight. Once all three caskets were on the ground, Sam pointed his gun at the lid of the biggest one. "Sam! What are you doing?" George cried in alarm.
"Waking him up," Sam said.
George rolled her eyes. "He's on our side, Sam! You don't wake up your allies by shooting at them!"
"I do it to Max all the time, but I see your point," Sam admitted reluctantly, holstering his gun. "I'm so used to shooting at vampires it sort of comes as second nature. Huh. Just the other week, Max and I killed a fruity vampire with the help of a vampire hunter from another universe and his big-nosed talking sunflower. Now I'm fighting alongside some. Talk about irony."
George bent over and knocked on the biggest coffin. "Vladimir? Time to wake up. The Sun's nice and dark for you, just what you guys wanted."
"Then…I shall awaken!" The coffin started rumbling, and George quickly backed away. The lid burst open, and a huge swarm of Woobat flew out, squawking and shrieking and filling the air. As they swirled above them in a great squeaking cloud of darkness, Vladimir, resplendent in his cape and formal wear, arose, elevating at a ninety degree angle from lying flat to standing up straight without bothering to sit up in between. His red eyes shot open, and he began to cackle malevolently…
And then stumbled backwards as Sam shot him in the chest. "Ow! Hey, what was that for?" he whined as he rubbed the smoking hole in his shirt, more upset that Sam had ruined his dramatic entrance than the fact that he'd been shot at.
"Sorry, force of habit," Sam apologized as George glared at him. "We don't really have time for melodramatics, Vlad. We're kind of in the middle of a warzone here."
"Hmm? Oh. Oh dear. Yes, I see," Vladimir murmured when he looked up and saw what was going on above them. "You're right, we don't have time to mess around. Dean! Bob! Awaken! We have work to do!"
Dean's coffin popped open and Dean pulled himself up with a yawn, rubbing at his eyes with his wing-antenna. "Ugh, it's too early in the night for this…huh?" He blinked and looked at the red sky and the black Sun. "Scratch that, it's not night at all…"
Bob's coffin lid shook and…stayed still. They could hear several pounding noises from within, followed by a frightened whimper. Vladimir sighed. "Dean, Bob's stuck again. Get him out, would you?"
"What? Why do I have to?" Dean protested.
"Because I said so," Vladimir said imposingly.
Grumbling in frustration, Dean waddled over to Bob's coffin and shoved it open. An enthusiastic Bob leaped out, tackled Dean to the ground, and eagerly covered his face in slobber. "Ack! Get off, get off, you're getting drool and dirt all over my cape!" the vampiric Wooper cried in alarm.
"Both of you get up! We don't have time for games, there's a battle going on!" Vladimir commanded. As if to emphasize this, the ground nearby exploded as a missile impacted, causing them all to jump. They yelped and ducked for cover as a series of laser blasts rained down all around them, throwing up sand and chunks of dirt. Vladimir squinted through the haze and smoke to see a squadron of fighters swooping around to make another pass. "Accursed Nihilators…long have I hoped we would finally get a chance to fight them, and make them pay for the atrocities we suffered at their hands!"
"And all the embarrassment, too…some of the things they did to use were really humiliating!" Dean complained as he shoved Bob off.
"Attack, my minions! Show them what happens to those who anger Vladimir, Lord of Night!" the vampiric Swalot boomed as he pointed at the fighters. The Woobats above him shrieked in reply and flew towards the approaching ships, metamorphosing into Swoobat so they could deal and take more damage. Vladimir glanced at Dean and Bob and frowned. "Why are you still on the ground? I said to attack!"
"What, us too?" Dean complained.
"Yes! Get up there!" Vladimir said.
"But Bob can't fly!" Dean protested.
Vladimir shrugged. "Then carry him."
Dean's eye twitched in frustration. "I'd better get a damn good reward from the Mistress for my loyal service after all this is over …like a promotion to the aristocracy. Or a harem. Or a promotion and a harem! Yeah, that'd be nice." Muttering such things under his breath, he spread his wings and rose into the air, feet transforming into claws with which he could pick up Bob and carry him into the air, the electric mutt yelping and flailing in terror all the way, which didn't make it easier for the poor Wooper.
"I shall go as well," Vladimir said imperiously. "So that not just this motley flock, but all those bloated ships above us shall feel my wrath and feed my bloodlust! Coming?"
"In just a minute," Sam said. "Our new ride has to get here first."
Vladimir shrugged. "Fair enough. Good hunting to you, and take care of yourself! We must celebrate in Fichina together, and the festivities would be ruined if any of you were to die! Of course, I could probably raise you as zombies, but that wouldn't be the same."
"Yeah, I was a zombie once. Didn't like it much," Sam agreed. "Max was okay with it, but then again he's the President, so it's not like there's much of a difference."
"…Ah. Okay," Vladimir said awkwardly as George gave Sam a weird look. "I'll…just be off now. Farewell!" He sprouted wings and leaped into the air to aid his minions.
"…You were a zombie once?" George asked Sam after a moment.
"More than once, actually, but most of the time it's due to not getting my morning coffee yet," Sam said, turning and shading his eyes as he squinted at the horizon, searching.
"So, uh, when exactly is our new ride going to get here?" George asked.
Sam narrowed his eyes as he saw a dust cloud far, far off in the distance. "Now."
Up in the Arachnoblast control room, Tarantulas was screaming and swearing vehemently as he realized he'd been tricked and that the vampires were now on the loose and yelling for everyone to kill the Arceusdamned bloodsuckers already because they were the whole Arceusdamned reason they were out here in the first place and maybe if they killed them Oblivion's Shadow might overlook how Arceusdamned much they'd screwed up already when one of the operators cried out in surprise. "Doctor Tarantulas, sir, we've got something inbound!"
Tarantulas moaned, wondering what had gone wrong now. "What is it? An antimatter missile? An army from Fichina? Ze Guardian of Hope?"
"Uh, no sir, none of those, it appears to be…" the Nihilator frowned and rechecked his scanners. "A car."
Tarantulas blinked. "…A car?"
"Yes sir. See for yourself," the operator said, transmitting a feed from his sensors to Tarantulas' mechanical eye, allowing the cyborg Ariados to see what appeared to be a vintage black and white DeSoto Adventurer (not that the Doctor knew what that was) approaching them at approximately…
"Sixteen zhousand miles per hour?" Tarantulas screamed incredulously. "Zat's even faster zan a Dragonite! How ze Abyss can a car move zat fast?"
"Ooh…zoom, zoom!" Chobin said cheerily.
"No clue, sir…but it's slowing down and appears to be heading for that car that just landed and released the vampires," the operator said.
Tarantulas groaned and ran his legs over his face. "Oh no, vhat now?"
On the ground, the DeSoto screeched to a precision halt a few feet away from Sam and George, the shriek from its wheels tremendous as it hit the brakes harder than most cars could handle. (Then again, the DeSoto wasn't most cars.) A huge cloud of dust wafted in its wake, and flames crackled from the high-speed tread marks it had left behind it. Headlights flashing and engine revving, it abruptly lunged forwards, causing George to recoil in alarm. Sam, however, stood his ground and only winced slightly as the car nudged him very hard, bruising his knees. "I'm happy to see you too, girl," he grunted as he leaned down and lovingly embraced the hood, not caring how the extremely overheated metal was burning his fur and one side of his face. "I knew you were still alive. Max gave up on you ages ago, but I told him you'd come back. I believed in you."
The engine made a sound that an amazed George thought sounded an awful lot like a contented purr…and then it made another rev that had an eerily questioning air to it. Reluctantly, Sam let go of the hood and stood up, his face downcast and grim. "…I'm sorry, girl. They took Max. I couldn't stop them."
There was a pause…and then the DeSoto lunged forward, engine revving furiously, knocking Sam to the ground. Its headlights snapped on, blinding George, and its horn honked EXTREMELY loudly as its wheels spun angrily at the ground, kicking up lots of sand and dirt. Sam grunted and pulled himself away from the car's fender, staggering to his feet and laying a hand on its hood, looking as broken and forlorn as he had yesterday upon realizing Max had been kidnapped. "I know. I know. I'm sorry, girl. I couldn't save him. I let everyone down…Max, you, the First Lady, the kids…I'm so sorry." Ignoring the rather worrying sounds the car was making or how it looked like the tires were moving so fast flames were starting to erupt around them, as well as from the tailpipe, Sam placed his hands on the hood and leaned down, pressing his forehead against the hot metal. "I promise, I'll do everything in my power to get him back, even if it means shooting up this whole damn planet. But before I can do that, before I can save Max, we have to win this battle. I know you'd rather drive off into the sunset to search for Max, but I need to help these people. They promised they'd help me save Max if I did. You can go if you want, but I'm staying here. I think they're our best bet at finding Max. Otherwise…it's gonna be a lot tougher, and who knows what condition he'll be in by the time we find him? I mean, yeah, I know he can take care of himself, but…the last time someone took him, they removed his brain. His brain! These people will do a lot worse than that to Max if they can. You can feel it too, can't you?" He closed his eyes. "Which is why…I need your help. We can probably win this fight on our own, but it'll go a lot easier with your help, and the sooner we get done here, the sooner we can search for Max. Together. Which will be a lot easier than if we did it alone. So, with that in mind…
"Will you help us?"
The car's honking and revving cut off, the squeal from its tires dying as the wheels came to a halt. The DeSoto sat there for several moments, headlights glaring and steam rising from its overheated form, as Sam continued leaning on it, waiting for an answer. Finally, its headlights dimmed and it eased forwards, nudging Sam again, more gently this time. Sam smiled and patted the hood gratefully. "Thanks, girl."
George winced when Sam rose and turned. "Sam, you…you look kinda burnt up…"
Sam examined his fur and rubbed his face, noting how a lot of his fur had been singed and his skin burnt. "It's no big deal. Occupational hazard. I've had worse."
"If you say so…" George said reluctantly.
She flinched as the headlights snapped on again and focused on her, the car's engine revving warningly. "Calm down, she's a friend!" Sam said to the DeSoto. It revved angrily in reply. "No, don't be stupid, I'm not trying to replace Max! I would never do that!" The car revved accusingly. Sam grimaced. "Well, okay, I did once, but I was replacing him with another Max, so that makes it okay! I think. Look, she's going to help us, okay? You can trust her."
"Um, yeah, what he said," George said anxiously. The DeSoto continued revving for a few moments, then, almost reluctantly, quieted and dimmed its lights. She sighed in relief. "Thanks. You can count on me," she assured the vehicle.
Sam smiled approvingly. "Good! I'm glad that's settled, then. Now we can do what's important: bring the smackdown to some lawbreakers!" He pulled out his car keys. The DeSoto revved excitedly when it saw him put his thumb over a purple button with a white triangular icon on it almost like a face. "Yes, that's right girl. It's time…" He pressed the button. "To TRANSFORM AND RISE UP!"
George had been warned in advance about what would happen when the DeSoto arrived, but even so her breath was taken away by the astonishing transformation that took place before her eyes. With a rather catchy Choo-chuh-chah-chik noise, the car's front and back half split apart from each other slightly and swiveled, the back half of the car flipping over so its roof faced the ground before splitting again on the vertical axis and unfolding outward, creating a pair of legs with the rear wheels and bumpers making up the knees while the bulging roof of each car part formed the feet. Spikes sprouted from the sides of the wheels and the soles of the feet, and numerous blades and pipes emerged from the sides and backs of the legs, venting fire and noxious gas. The front of the car flipped down so that the DeSoto's hood and headlights formed a kind of torso, while the car's driver and passenger seats remained mounted on its back, underneath the raised roof and windshield, which sprouted several rows of spikes and pipes emitting gouts of flame and smoke. The glass on the headlights retracted, revealing a series of missile launchers and energy cannons, while more fire-venting pipes emerged from the sides and from the front fender and the grille cracked open into a pair of gruesome metallic jaws, an eerie infernal light emanating from within. The front wheels flipped outwards, a pair of strong yet delicate metal limbs unfolding from inside the wheel sockets to create arms ending in ferociously sharp and powerful claws with spikes growing from the knuckles and lance-like spurs mounted on the lower arms, with the wheels and hubcaps as shoulder armor that promptly sprouted spikes and more of the ubiquitous flaming pipes. A section of the car's hood split apart and raised upwards, a hidden panel moving aside to reveal a head that had been concealed inside the vehicle's engine block. The head was demonic in nature, black and covered in horns and flame-venting pipes with claw-like protrusions caressing the face, which was silvery, humanoid, feminine, and might have been actually quite beautiful (if you were into that thing) if it weren't for the viciously sharp fangs bared in a terrifying grin and glowing red eyes. (Then again, some people were into that sort of thing too.) As the mechanical monstrosity howled in rage and ecstasy, flames erupted from every orifice on its body and a purple symbol looking sort of like an abstract triangular face shimmered into existence on its chest, beneath the protruding hood. "YESSSSS! AT LAST! AT LAAAAAST! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Laughing insanely, numerous hatches popped open all over the monster's body, rockets and lasers and great streams of fire blasting out in every direction. A few of them even managed to hit Nihilator ships, though most of them just rained down across the battered landscape and destroyed it even more.
George's jaw dropped in wonder and terror. So did Tarantulas', though less out of terror than sheer incredulity, while Chobin clapped his leaves together giddily and Viers grunted and said, "Needs more fire."
"Wh-what…that's…how is that…" the stunned George stammered.
"Meet Outlaw!" Sam said cheerfully, unperturbed by the fact that his car had just turned into a burning demonic giant robot. "A Decepticon warrior from planet Cybertron!"
"The greatest Decepticon warrior from planet Cybertron!" Outlaw insisted.
"Right, how silly of me," Sam said, before leaning over and whispering to George, "She's not, really, that's just what all Decepticons think of themselves."
"Ah," George said vaguely.
"I heard that!" Outlaw snarled.
"I know," Sam said.
Outlaw blinked. "…Then why did you bother whispering in the first place if you knew I would hear it?"
Sam shrugged. "Seemed more polite that way." Outlaw scowled.
"Um…wait…I thought your car was a 'DeSoto Adventurer'—whatever that is—not a, uh, Liarbot?" George said in confusion.
"DECEPTICON!" Outlaw hissed angrily. "Get it right, fleshling!"
"She's both," Sam said. "She started as a car that was perfectly normal…well, aside from having a soul. And coming back from Hell as a part-demon. And ability to drive anywhere in time and space. Then we went to the world of Cybertron on a mission to keep a renegade Maimtron from triggering a war between our planets, and she got exposed to some mystical dingus called the 'Allspark' that turned her into a giant robot like everyone else on Cybertron. Because of her demonic taint and history of mayhem, destruction, and running people over she was immediately inducted into the ranks of the Decepticons, the faction of evil Cybertronians who seek to dominate the universe."
"Oh," George said. "So, uh, why is she pretending to be a car rather than going out and doing that?"
"Pretending to be vehicles is what Cybertronians do. All of them can transform between a vehicle mode and their giant robot form. The Decepticons and their mortal enemies, the Autobots, have waged war across the galaxy in massive battles that have ravaged entire systems as well as more secretive clashes where they infiltrate a planet by turning into vehicles and fighting right underneath the indigenous species' noses," Sam explained.
"So she's pretending to be a car so she can secretly conquer Earth?" George asked.
"No need to, we already own the Earth," Outlaw said.
Sam nodded. "Yeah, the Decepticon leader Megatron was so impressed by how great a job Max has done as President that he decided there'd be no point in conquering Earth since we're already run by a deranged tyrant who controls an army of giant robots, so brokered a treaty instead and appointed our planet a Decepticon protectorate with Outlaw as Cybertronian ambassador. Needless to say the Autobots weren't happy about that."
Outlaw laughed malevolently. "I still have the picture of Optimus Prime's face when he found out…it's priceless! Gwahahahaha!"
George blinked. "I…see. But then why is Outlaw pretending to be the car of a pair of…er, Freelance Police officers?"
"So I can run over people and cause lots of property damage for fun," Outlaw said. "The fact that it's allegedly done in the pursuit of 'justice' is somewhat irritating, but a relatively minor inconvenience when all's told. So long as I get to kill and blow things up on a regular basis, I'm relatively happy."
"That and she likes having us ride around in her," Sam said.
"I do not!" Outlaw denied furiously. "I am no pathetic Autobot to become attached to a fleshling pet! I am a proud Decepticon warrior! I just keep you around because it amuses me."
"We love you too, Outlaw," Sam said. The robot gnashed her teeth, causing a rather painful grinding metal noise to ring across the desert.
"Um…okay," George said, wondering why this sort of thing was still bothering her. "That's very interesting, but can we go and fight the Nihilators now?"
"Hmm? Oh, yes, those things," Outlaw said, sneering in disgust at the Arachnoblast and the battle fleet overhead. "Such pathetic and outdated technology…you call that a mobile fortress? The mighty Trypticon could defeat that thing in a trice…and any one of our battleships could easily demolish that entire armada with a single blast!"
"Which means you should have little trouble taking them on all by yourself, right?" Sam asked with a smirk.
"Pah, it won't be a fight, it'll be a massacre!" Outlaw boasted. "You may come if you wish, to witness the slaughter firsthand!"
"Sure thing. George is coming too," Sam said as Outlaw lowered a hand and he clambered onto it.
Outlaw grimaced and reluctantly lowered a hand for George to climb onto. "Ugh. Fine. What's one more fleshy? Just…don't get too much of your hair or germs everywhere. I have enough of that problem with my regular passengers."
"I, uh, will do my best," George said awkwardly.
Outlaw placed the two organic canines on her shoulders. George yelped in alarm as the hubcap portion of the tire she was standing on irised open and she dropped a couple of feet into a recessed hollow with a surprisingly comfortable seat in it. She flinched as lights flashed to life in front of her and revealed a rather impressive console and targeting display several million years beyond anything on Earth, with lots of incredibly complicated and utterly alien glyphs flickering over the displays faster than the eyes could see. She glanced up in surprise when a transparent dome of an unknown material slid into place over her head, sealing her in "While you're up there, you might as well make yourself useful and take control of my secondary guns," Outlaw's voice boomed from all around her, causing the Mightyena to jump in surprise (again). There was the sound of several gears rotating, and suddenly a pair of VERY large cannons appeared out of Outlaw's back and lowered into place in the spaces between her head and her shoulders. "Sam tells me you're something of a marksman. Let's see how good you are with a REAL weapon."
George gawked at the cannon in awe, but then reality sank in as she glanced back at the indecipherable display. "I have no idea how to use this thing."
"What? Oh, right. You're new to this. Hold on." Abruptly, a beam of light lanced out from the console and into her eyes. George howled in pain and clutched her eyes. "There. I just beamed the information on how to operate my cannon into your puny organic mind. I may have killed a few of your brain cells, but it's not like they were doing anything worthwhile anyway."
"Ow…ow!" George moaned, squeezing her eyes shut as tears welled up, her head pounding as glyphs and incredibly complicated diagrams flashed through her mind. "That…really hurt!"
"Hmmph, whiner. I only transmitted the most basic and rudimentary data into your skull. Clearly you are incapable of comprehending the full glory of my magnificent Cybertronian workings. If you reacted that badly to my lowest setting, your head probably would have exploded if I'd given you even a little bit more. Hmm, I must remember to try that sometime…" Outlaw mused.
"You weren't always an alien robot, you know," George growled as she rubbed her eyes and blinked furiously. "Weren't you manufactured en masse in an Earth-based factory?"
"I evolved, something your species has yet to accomplish," Outlaw sniffed.
"I evolved from a Poochyena years ago!" George said, offended.
"What? No, not that kind of…oh, never mind. Look, do you know how to fire my cannon now?" Outlaw asked, annoyed.
"Um…yeah, I think so," George said, looking at the console and finding to her surprise that she actually understood how it worked.
"Good. In that case…to battle!" Panels opened all over Outlaw's body, revealing missile launchers, energy blasters, cannons, spikes, and all sorts of other nasty doodads. She thrust a hand into her chest, burying it up to the wrist, and ripped out what looked like a ball of writhing flames of energy from inside herself. She clutched the energy sphere tightly, the ball flaring and transforming into a great flaming sword. Grinning, she thrust her other hand into her chest as well and pulled out a second energy ball, which transformed into a gigantic hand cannon, also made of fire. "For Megatron!"
"And Max!" Sam shouted, grabbing the gun controls in his cockpit.
"Yes, and Max!" Outlaw added as she charged towards the Arachnoblast, howling at the top of her lungs (did she have lungs?) and firing wildly from every weapons port on her body, not seeming to care if they actually hit anything so long as they caused some impressive explosions.
"What have I gotten myself into this time?" George muttered as she grabbed her controls and started firing the cannon, actually aiming unlike the giant robot she was riding in.
"Okay, now zis is getting ridiculous!" a fed-up Tarantulas snapped as he stared at the blazing robot warrior running towards them. "Vhere do zey keep getting zis crap?"
"From their butts? That's where Chobin keeps most of his things," Chobin said, demonstrating by reaching a leaf behind him and-
"Ve really don't need a demonstration!" Tarantulas shouted frantically. He sighed and rubbed his face with his talons. "I zink I am beginning to understand now ze reason ve keep losing to zese guys…"
"Gross incompetence? That is especially ugly and repugnant? Even more so than regular incompetence? Which is also ugly and repugnant but not as much as gross incompetence? And not at all to be confused with beauteous incompetence. Which is magnificent and graceful even in its astonishing failure," Viers suggested.
Tarantulas' eye twitched. "…Ozzer zan zat. Ve're losing because…seriously, vere do zey come up viz stuff? How are you supposed to plan ahead for guys capable of doing zings as random and completely unexpected like zis at a moment's notice?"
"Chobin does things that are random and completely unexpected at a moment's notice!" Chobin said, offended.
"Not really, by now most of ze zings you do are razzer predictable since zey revolve almost exclusively around killing yourself, rape, eating ozzer Pokémon, or a combination of ze zree," Tarantulas said, causing Chobin to burst into tears. Ignoring him, Tarantulas said, "Seriously, how does one even begin to fight guys like zese? Ven zere's no vay of knowing vat crazy trick zey're going to pull off next?"
As if on cue, one of the Nihilators cried, "Doctor Tarantulas, sir, the engine car is coming right at us at incredibly high speeds, albeit not as high speeds as that car that transformed into a giant flaming robot exhibited a few moments ago!"
"Vhat? Ze Abyss do zey zink zey're going to do, ram us or somezing?" Tarantulas asked. There was a pause. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh crap, zey're going to ram us!"
"So? We are invincible. They are not. When an immovable force meets an irresistible object, they surrender. But we are irresistible, while they can be moved. They will crash into us and die. We will survive. Because we are strong. Very strong. Very, very strong," Viers said.
"I…zink you said zat wrong," said a confused Tarantulas.
"He's also wrong about what'll happen if it hits us," the Nihilator said. "If it were aimed at the main body, it might be able to penetrate a little ways past the exterior, but it's more likely to just leave a large dent. If it crashes into the control center, however…"
"Vhat? I zought zis room vas ze most secure area of ze Arachnoblast! I mean, vhy else vould it be sticking up so far on such a zhin neck if ve verent' absolutely confident zat ve vere at no risk of getting destroyed?" Tarantulas protested.
"Oh, the control center will be completely unharmed by the collision, sir," the Nihilator assured Tarantulas. He sighed in relief. "The neck, on the other hand, will not be. To make it as maneuverable as it currently is, we had to sacrifice durability and armor for flexibility. It's still very strong, of course, so a collision wouldn't destroy or sever it, but if the train crashed into the control center there's a strong possibility that the impact would rip us off the neck and send us flying."
"VHAT?" Tarantulas screamed.
"Fortunately, we have safety precautions installed for just such an emergency, so we would still be fully functional as a small, heavily fortified ship and still be able to control the Arachnoblast remotely," the Nihilator continued.
"Oh! Zat's okay, zen," Tarantulas said in relief.
"However, we will be unable to use most of our weapons without the direct link to the Arachnoblast's power core, including the Wave Motion Cannon," the Nihilator said.
"Oh! Zat's not okay, zen," Tarantulas said with a frown.
"We can't let that happen, Doctor! It would be like…it would be like if Chobin did not have Little Chobin anymore!" said a horrified Chobin.
Tarantulas grimaced. "Your analogy is apt, if razzer disgusting. You are correct, ve cannot let zis happen! Fire on zat car! Blow it out of ze sky!"
Hatches opened up all over the Arachnoblast, and the nozzles of hundreds of cannons and the tips of thousands of rockets emerged from the skin of the massive spider. With a great rumble, the Arachnoblast fired, lasers and missiles and energy blasts arcing through the air and converging on the engine car, resulting in a spectacular explosion…
Which the car drove out of moments later, its armor scorched and dented, but otherwise intact. "I-it had no effect!" said a startled Nihilator. "Well, okay, it had a little effect, but not enough!"
"Zen fire again! Keep firing!" Tarantulas snapped.
They did. They fired again and again and again, throwing as much power as they could against the oncoming engine. Each explosion was bigger than the last, and did more and more damage to the train's armor, until bits of it started cracking and falling off…but still it kept on coming. If anything, it was actually speeding up. "It…it's not stopping!" a Nihilator cried.
"…This cannot be. They are the sissies. We are not sissies. How can our attacks be so weak? Like the attacks of sissies? Which we are not?" asked the incredulous Viers.
"I-I don't understand…zat should have killed zem several times over! Vhy aren't zey dead?" Tarantulas stammered, looking equally unnerved.
"Why aren't we dead?" the Magneton engineer asked as he looked at the various gauges and displays spread throughout the room. "Those last few attacks should have done us in, shouldn't they?"
"We're rerouting all our weapons and auxiliary power to shields," the Aron engineer said. "Everything except for the Furnace and the emergency rails, in fact…which is why it's gotten so darn hot in here!" He wiped at his brow, and was alarmed when his paw came off not only with sweat but melted metal.
"Yeah, but even with that, and all the other modifications we made, I'm pretty sure we shouldn't have lasted this long," the Magneton protested. The whole engine shook violently as they were hit by another barrage from the Arachnoblast, and many of the gauges went into the red, but still everything seemed stable. "You see? I'm pretty sure we shouldn't have survived that last hit. What's going on?"
"This old train still has a few tricks left in it," the Ampharos said as she patted the side of the Furnace, hiding the tremor in her voice and the ache in her bones. "She'll pull through yet. I guarantee it." She did not tell them what that trick was…or what it might cost her in the long run. The car shook as they got hit again, and she grimaced, but her subordinates assumed it was from all the shaking or the thought of what the Nihilators were trying to do to her precious engine. None of them had any inkling of the true source of her pain…or just how much it hurt. She planned to keep it that way.
"It's…it's still coming!" a Nihilator cried in alarm.
"Wheee! We're gonna die!" Chobin cheered.
"No, ve're not! Even if it hits, ve'll be fine…but it's not going to come to zat! Fire ze Wave Motion Cannon!" Tarantulas ordered.
The mouth of the Arachnoblast opened as wide as it possibly could, and a pure blue-white energy beam at least three times the diameter of the Enchanted Express blasted out and surged straight towards the engine car, which…
Kept on coming. Not diverging from its chosen path in the slightest, the engine flew right into the beam, its armored cattle-catcher splitting the blast in front of it as the train car kept on chugging. Its speed diminished as the beam pushed back at it, and its wheels started screeching and throwing off sparks, and its armor began to blacken and rattle and get torn off piece by piece, and the energy dish on its top eventually was ripped off, and bit by bit it started to crumble…
And still, it kept on coming. And Tarantulas realized to his horror that it was going to keep coming, that at the rate it was disintegrating it wouldn't be destroyed before it could reach the command center, that there would still be a very large, very dense, very fast-moving object that would crash into the Arachnoblast's head and cause the Wave Motion Cannon to backfire and probably kill them all. "Move out of ze vay! Move out of ze vay! It's going to hit us!" Tarantulas screamed in alarm.
"What? We cannot move! We are the immovable force! Or was it the irresistible object? Whatever! We cannot move! We are playing Combusken. If we move, we are Combuskens. I do not like Combuskens. They don't taste good. And not everything tastes like Combuskens, though many people say they do. I do not want to be a Combusken. Therefore, we cannot move," Viers said.
"If we don't move, ve'll get killed!" Tarantulas protested.
"But we will not be Combuskens," Viers said proudly.
"Oh for ze love of…IGNORE HIM AND MOVE US OUT OF ZE VAY! NOW!" Tarantulas shouted in exasperation.
They moved out of the way, bending the neck so that the head jerked to the side right before the Enchanted Express's engine could slam into it. Since they had failed to turn the Wave Motion Cannon off in their haste, this caused the beam to sweep out across the sky and blow up several Nihilator battleships, but at least the Arachnoblast was still intact. The engine car, damaged but still mostly functional, rolled past the command center at high speeds, skidded off the top of the vessel, and rose somewhat unsteadily back into the air. "Phew…that was close," the Aron said in relief as all the alarms stopped blaring and the engine stabilized.
"Dammit! We missed!" the Ampharos swore. "We have to go back for another try."
Her subordinates gaped at her incredulously. "What? But-but we almost died back there!" the Magneton protested.
"We almost took out Doctor Tarantulas, too," the Ampharos pointed out. "But we missed, which is why we've got to go back and finish the job before he manages to knock us out of the sky."
"But…we only barely survived that super laser of his," the Aron pointed out. "I'm not sure we'll be able to do that again…"
"We might not," the Ampharos admitted, fist clenched tight so it wouldn't tremble, ignoring how fast her heart was beating or how much trouble she was having breathing or how every inch of her body hurt. "But we have to try. Doctor Tarantulas is a terrible threat to the world, and that machine down there is a terrible threat to our passengers and friends. We have to do everything we can to stop him, even if…even if it costs us our lives." I know for sure it'll cost me mine…
"I…I guess, but…but I don't want to die…" the Magneton whispered.
"If you want out, go ahead and leave," the Ampharos said. "But I'm staying."
"What? Seriously?" the Aron cried.
"Sure. A captain has to go down with the ship," the Ampharos said.
"…But you're an engineer, and this is a train," said the confused Aron.
"Yes, but it's the same principle," the Ampharos said firmly. "There's still a functional escape pod or two in the back. If you want out so bad, go ahead and take them. Of course, I can't guarantee they'll be able to survive in this firefight, but you may have a better chance than if you stay here, since I can't guarantee your survival if we do this again, whether or not we manage to take out the Doctor."
"I think I'll take those chances. It's been an honor, I guess, but I'm bailing," the Magneton said. He turned to the Aron. "Come on, let's go."
The Aron hesitated. "I…no. I'm staying."
"Wh-what? You're kidding me!" the Magneton protested.
The Aron shook his head. "No, we're not. We're engineers. We took a vow to run trains to the best of our ability, to ensure the safety of our passengers and/or cargo above all else, even our own lives. If we leave, we're breaking that oath. We're leaving everyone else—our passengers, our crew—to fend for themselves. If we ditch the train and leave, we'll never be able to work on the rails again."
"…I can live with that," the Magneton said after a moment.
"I can't," the Aron said. "Being an engineer is my dream. I've always loved trains, and ever since I was a kid I've wanted to run one. Getting to do that, and working on the Enchanted Express, the best train in the whole world, is everything I've always wanted. I can't turn my back on that. Even if it means I might die, I can't…I can't give up on my dream. If I did, then what else is there for me to live for?"
"…You…gah! Fine," the Magneton said wearily. "I guess I'll stay too."
"You will?" the Aron said in surprise.
"Sure. I can't leave my best bud in the lurch, can I?" the Magneton said with a chuckle.
"…You…I'm your…" The Aron burst into a grin. "Th-thanks. Thanks so much."
"Heh. Glad to have you on board," the Ampharos said, pleased that she wouldn't have to do this alone…and worried that she might deprive the world of two great engineers if she kept this up. She gasped and clutched her chest suddenly, nearly falling over.
"Chief!" the Aron cried, rushing over to her.
She waved him off. "I-I'm fine, just…a little dizzy. Getting kinda hot in here, isn't it? We took a pretty bad beating back there, too…that didn't help…" She grinned. "Won't stop me from driving right back into the thick of it, though, right boys?"
"Right!" her companions chorused…though deep down, they couldn't help the feeling that she was hiding something from them…
As the engineers steered the engine around for another pass, Tarantulas had decided he'd finally had enough. "I've decided I've finally had enough," he said coldly. "Zis…zis has gone on for too long. It's time to do vhat I should have done in ze first place…and unleash our ultimate weapon."
Chobin gasped. "You mean…"
"Yes, Chobin, exactly!" Tarantulas said gleefully.
"That Crotchitizer Chobin has always wanted?" Chobin squealed.
"…Vat?" Tarantulas asked blankly.
"You know, the Crotchitizer! That idea Chobin had for a cannon of ultimate destruction he can strap over Little Chobin and-" Chobin started.
"NO! FOR ZE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE ZAT!" Tarantulas shouted, causing Chobin to burst into tears. Ignoring him, the Doctor said, "No, I'm talking about some of ze most powerful Shadow Pokémon I have ever created…ze first of ze XD line, and some of my greatest successes! Oh, I have been vaiting a very, very long time to use zem all on ze field of battle…and I imagine zey've been vaiting an equally long time to see just how strong zey really are vhen vorking togezzer." He started laughing malevolently. "Avaken Pokémon XD001, XD002, XD003, and XD004! It's time for us to seize victory from ze jaws of defeat! It's time to show Oblivion's Shadow zat ve are better zan Bellum vill ever be! It's time…" He grinned sinisterly. "To unleash ze birds."
The Nihilators looked at him in bewilderment, and then all of them raised their middle digits. Those who had middle digits, anyway. Tarantulas looked at them in confusion. "Vhat are you doing?"
"Unleashing the birds," Viers said.
"Huh? Vhat does zat have to do viz-" Tarantulas facepalmed. "Oh, for ze love of—not ZOSE kinds of birds, you idiots! Ze LEGENDARY birds! Did I not make zat clear viz my talk about Shadow Pokémon and Pokémon XDs? Vat did you zink I vas talking about? Vait, don't answer zat, you veren't zinking, because you're all IDIOTS! Vhy didn't I get any smart agents for zis mission?"
"Because all the smart ones were having too much smartiness in their brains to realize this was probably going to turn out badly and the best thing they could do would be to stay as far away from it as Pokémonly possible?" Chobin suggested happily.
"Zat…" Tarantulas considered this and sagged. "Zat…makes far, far too much sense."
"They are sissies," Viers snorted. "Stupid weak sissies. Who are stupid. And also weak. And are also sissies."
"Zat may be true, but zey vere also clever enough to know not to take part in a mission zat could earn zem Oblivion's Shadow's full wrazh if zey fail…and I zought I vas ze smart one," Tarantulas groaned. "Oh vell, at least I'm still smarter zan all of you."
One of the operators gasped in horror. "Oh no! They're summoning some kind of horrible cloud monster that will cover everything in fog and…" He paused and examined his monitor more carefully. "No, wait, that's just a fingerprint smudge. My bad."
"Not zat zat's very hard," Tarantulas said wearily. "Oh vell, let's get zis over viz…release ze birds! Ze RIGHT ones zis time!"
The Arachnoblast rumbled as, one by one, four large hangar bays slid open in the sides of the mobile fortress. Lights flashed on, awakening the Pokémon stored in the hangars, their red eyes flaring into wakefulness as the sounds of battle and the desert breeze wafted in through the bay doors. "So…it's time, is it?" one murmured to herself.
"Finally!" another grunted, cracking his neck. "I thought we'd never get to fight!"
"It's payback time…" the third sneered, eyes glittering. "And soon…we will have nothing to fear ever again!"
The fourth said nothing, only growled lowly, the last lingering remnants of its nightmares echoing in its head. It gave no thought to them, or to anything else; its only purpose was to kill. And it intended to do that, and keep doing that, until the pain in its heart ebbed.
The four avians spread their wings and leaped from the hangars and out into the red skies, reveling in the joy of flying and the sounds of warfare. (Well, three of them did anyway, the fourth didn't really notice or care. It was unable to.)
The passengers of the Enchanted Express paused in their fight when they saw the new foes approaching, eyes widening in horror when they realized who they were about to fight. "Oh no…not now! Not them!" Lily cried in alarm.
"Todd and my ozzer self 'ave not liberated Ash and ze ozzers yet…we aren't ready!" said the worried Fantina.
"Well, we're going to have to be ready…because here they come!" Briney said grimly.
"Hey losers, good to see you again!" Articuno shrieked as she came within earshot, her magnificent blue plumage showing none of the damage from the previous day, her wings restored and her legs regenerated. "Thanks to Doctor Tarantulas, I'm back in fighting shape, and stronger than ever!"
"It's a pity the Chosen One couldn't be here to fight us…but he's a little tied up at the moment!" Zapdos, a large bird with yellow and black plumage, spiky feathers that looked sort of like lightning, and a very long, thin beak squawked.
"Don't worry, though…we'll kill him after we've finished with you, so you can all be dead together, and we'll live forever with the prophecy of our doom averted!" Moltres, a majestic bird with flame-colored plumage, wings and a head crest made of flames, and a straight, pointed brown beak sneered.
"Ash might not be here, but we'll be happy to take you out for him!" Briney said, clashing his fists together.
"You have forsaken your duty and turned your backs on Arceus…by his power, invested in me by the Zap Plate, I swear I shall carry out your judgment in his name!" Sparky declared, the sacred sword Durendal crackling in his paw.
"Same here! I'm gonna show you what it's like to get burned by a real pro!" Zippo declared, his Flame Plate armor smoldering.
"Ha! You think those tin cans impress us?" Articuno sneered. "They're just a tiny fraction of the infinite power of Arceus…and certainly nowhere near enough to defeat us, especially now that we have the power of Shadow!"
"Then perhaps it's time we cast some LIGHT on your shadow, yes?" Diane asked, her form glowing.
"Or show you what TRUE darkness is!" Vladimir boasted as he and Dean flew into view.
"Darkness? Ha! Don't make me laugh!" Zapdos said, laughing.
"Um…you just did," Rose said.
"What? Well…well I…oh, shut up!" Zapdos snapped.
"You think you know darkness? Let us show you how deep the Shadow runs…a darkness that no amount of light can possibly banish!" Moltres declared.
"Behold, a Shadow Pokémon whose power is beyond measure…once, he was our jailer and keeper, but now he's our mindless pawn!" Articuno cackled triumphantly as she and the other three birds flew out of the way to reveal their fourth, much larger companion. "Behold…SHADOW LUGIA!"
The heroes gasped in horror when they gazed upon the once magnificent Beast of the Sea, and what had been done to him. "No…Lugia…what have they done to you?" Salty whispered in horror.
"Dude, what the hell?" Zippo cried.
Lugia was a very large creature bearing a resemblance to a cross between a dragon, a plesiosaur, and a bird. He was primarily dark purple with a gray underside. He had a somewhat beak-like, ridged mouth, with teeth on the lower jaw. His head had a point to the back, and his red eyes had pointed gray spikes on them. Lugia had a long slender neck and his body was smooth and streamlined, with the exception of gray spike-like protrusions which ran down the length of his back, and two smaller ones on the ends of his tail. He had large wings that resembled hands. He bellowed furiously, and the sky seemed to darken in response to his howls of rage.
"Sacre bleu…" Fantina whispered.
"That's…that's not right…" Lily murmured.
"So…this is what Manaphy did? That little bastard deserved worse than getting eaten by Kyogre," Briney snarled angrily.
"Quite an impressive specimen, isn't he?" Zapdos crooned. "Certainly more powerful than anything you bunch can handle…"
"And he's not a bad lay, either," Moltres added. "He's not exactly willing, but we don't particularly care. Call it payback for the centuries he's kept a talon to out necks."
"Okay, first of all, that's DISGUSTING," said an angry Silvia. "Second, he wouldn't have had to do that to you if the lot of you weren't such sorry excuses for deities!"
"Hey, so what if we feel like having fun once in a while rather than doing something boring like regulating the weather? Why should we always have to do things to benefit stupid short-lived people like you, who are never around long enough to appreciate it anyway?" Articuno sneered.
"Because that's your job. It's what creatures like you are supposed to do!" Rose said.
"Yeah, well maybe we don't want to do our jobs anymore! Why can't we quit and get a new one, huh? What's wrong with that?" Zapdos snarled.
"Nothing, except that would mean you'd actually have to work for a living like the rest of us do, which, from the behavior you've demonstrated so far, I assume you would be rather averse to," said the disgusted Goldor.
"Eh, good point," Zapdos admitted.
"Yeah, that's pretty much why we enjoy being evil so much…while we still have to do what we're told, it's a lot more fun than having to protect short-lived whiny losers like you idiots, and nowhere near as boring!" Moltres agreed.
"Well, I think you'll find getting beaten by us matches that criterion as well," Butler said ominously, cracking his knuckles. "Because it certainly won't be boring."
"Or rather, it will be boring…when I bore my fist into that obnoxious beak of yours and out the back of your head!" Briney growled, mustering his power.
"Heh. How adorable. I think I'm going to enjoy plucking that eye out of your skull and eating it," Articuno snickered.
"…Did she just call me adorable?" Briney shouted, incensed.
"The nerve! You're not even remotely adorable!" Silvia agreed. "Er…which isn't to say you're ugly or anything, though I suppose you're a bit rough around the edges and could maybe use a polish and some Fil-a-dent to fix up all those nasty scars you're covered in and possibly start wearing that glass eye again so you don't go around looking like you're a pirate since that's sort of out-of-style and…er…I'll shut up now," she said meekly when Briney glared at her.
"You talk big, but you can't back it up! You don't stand a chance against us!" Zapdos said.
"Is zat so? I seem to remember Articuno getting creamed just yesterday," Bow said.
"That's because there was just me yesterday…all four of us are here now, and I'm even stronger now than I was back then!" Articuno said.
"Not to mention that yesterday she was fighting Ash. Powers greater than any of you can comprehend have decreed that he is the only one who can end our lives…meaning that the rest of you don't stand a chance of beating us without him!" Moltres said.
Zapdos nodded in agreement. "Especially because you aren't even remotely a match for Lugia, the mightiest of the four of us, without him. The Doc did such a good job of corrupting him that only the Chosen One is capable of purifying him…and since that brat's not here, he's unstoppable!"
"Don't be so sure. We have friends who are rescuing him and our other friends as we speak! It won't be long before they're back, and your long-awaited judgment is at hand!" Sparky said.
Articuno snickered. "Heh. I rather doubt that…even if he does make it here in time to keep us from creaming you, we still have a few tricks left in store to make certain that he does not fulfill the prophecy of our demise!"
"And this is but the first of them!" Zapdos said, turning to Lugia, who had remained silent during the exchange. "Hey, you! Big lug! (Or rather, Big Lug-ia, heh.) Give us some of your power! Let's show them how really screwed they are!"
"What? Oh no, they're all going to go into Hyper Mode!" the horrified Rose realized.
"Radical!" Zippo said. Everyone stared at him. "What? Am I the only one who thinks that'd be cool?"
"YES!" everyone shouted.
"Don't worry, they can't go into Hyper Mode without a dose of Shadow," Lily said.
Briney nodded. "And I haven't noticed any of the capsules members of Tarantulas's XD line usually carry that allow them to go into Hyper Mode on their bodies."
"That's because we don't need them, with our old buddy here!" Moltres cackled.
"Tarantulas pumped so much Shadow into Lugia to turn him into one of us that his body's a veritable Shadow production facility!" Articuno taunted. "Pure Shadow runs through his veins rather than blood! And that Shadow is ours to do with as we please!"
"WHAT?" Salty cried.
"Well, guess we won't be drinking from him, then," Dean commented. Vladimir hit him, nearly causing him to drop Bob. "Ow…"
"That's…that's awful!" Happy shrieked.
"'Ow could you do such a zing?" Fantina accused angrily.
"Easy: we're fucking evil, and we really hate his guts," Zapdos said, as if it were obvious.
"But you've heard enough about it from us; let us show you his power firsthand! Lugia! Give us your power! Fill us with the limitless might of SHADOW!" Moltres screeched.
The corrupted Lugia folded his wings around himself, trembling as black flames started crackling around him. With a tremendous, earth-splitting roar, he flung his arms out, generating a blast of power that knocked everyone back, rattled the train cars and nearly flung them off their tracks, and actually pushed even the largest of the surrounding battleships back a few meters, and caused the smaller fighters nearby to explode violently. Shadow Aura manifested around Lugia and blazed outwards in every direction, the darkness so intense it actually hurt to look at as it created a veritable sun of black flames even stronger than the actual Black Sun shining down on them from above.
"The…the darkness…it's so strong…" whispered a shocked Diane as Butler tried to shield her with his body.
"Gah! It burns almost as much as the actual Sun does!" Vladimir hissed, shielding himself with his cape.
"Well, vampires and Shadow don't tend to mix well, if I remember right…" Dean said.
"This is…a perversion…a blasphemy that flies into the face of everything Arceus has done! How could they do this to a god? To themselves?" Sparky demanded angrily.
"Because they're fucking-" Salty started.
"It's a rhetorical question!" Sparky snapped.
"Then you should have said so," Happy said. Sparky facepalmed.
"I…I don't know if I should be scared shitless or awestruck by how cool that looks," Zippo said.
"I'll settle for shitless," Rose said feebly.
"F-Fantina! Do you feel-" Lily started.
"Yes," the Mismagius said seriously as she shielded them from the energy surges washing off the ball of dark fire. "Zis is not good. Not good at all."
"This…this power…it's even greater than the Shadow Aura Dawn had when the Nihilators warped her!" said a shocked Briney. "The only source of Shadow energy stronger than this I've ever felt was…Oblivion's Shadow himself…"
"I take it that's bad?" Silvia asked.
"Extremely," Briney said.
"Well, it's settled. After this, I'm never taking public transportation ever again," Goldor said with a disturbing amount of cheer. "Because seriously, things like this don't happen when you just Teleport wherever it is you need to go!"
"What about accidentally transporting yourself into a wall? Or leaving part of your body behind? Or winding up in a whole other plane of existence?" Buck asked.
"Those happen far less often than the media would have you believe, and to be honest I think I'd prefer any of those things over being here right now," Goldor said.
George looked up in astonishment at the great ball of black fire. "What…what is that?"
"Interesting…" Sam murmured.
"Pah. You fleshlings are so easily impressed," Outlaw said scornfully. "That's nothing. I have journeyed to the Pit and back, and stared into Unicron's gaping jaws! Don't talk to me about darkness until you've done the same."
"O-okay," George said. There was a pause. "What's a Unicron?"
"The Dark God. The Lord of Chaos. The Chaos-Bringer. The Planet Eater," Outlaw said ominously, actually sounding somewhat…afraid?
"Basically, he's the Cybertronian devil. Imagine a robot so big that he can eat planets and his vehicle form is a planet. Albeit one so big it can eat other planets," Sam said.
George's eyes widened. "…Wow. That's a big robot."
"Yep," Sam said.
"Max made him laugh," Outlaw said. George was not sure if that was good or not.
In the train cars, the rest of the passengers and crew were equally worried by this turn of events. "Well, that's not good," Looker said, crossing his arms.
"Bit of an understatement. Do you think if I went out there and punched it, it'd stop?" Bruno asked.
"I think you'd be lucky if you got your fists back," Looker said.
"Figures," Bruno grunted, somewhat annoyed. He didn't like problems he couldn't fix by punching them. He could solve almost anything that bothered him by hitting it enough, like that frost giant he'd disemboweled. (Granted, it had been finished off with an explosive, but hey, he'd worn the thing down pretty well.) He wasn't sure what to do when it came to matters that he couldn't just hit into submission.
That Lucario, Ash, was supposed to be able to fix it, though. Bruno wasn't sure how he felt about that. He seemed like a good kid, if a bit troubled. Not quite Chosen One material. But then again, who was he to judge? "This is definitely not what I expected to happen when I agreed to serve on this train…"
"This is definitely not what I expected to happen when I agreed to serve on this train," the Haunter guard said to his Grumpig friend.
"I don't think any of us did," the Grumpig agreed. "I mean, I always figured the worst thing that would happen to me was I'd get turned into a Politoed or something. Or stuck in the wallpaper like that poor guy Bellum didn't like."
"Did we ever find that guy?" the Haunter asked.
"No. I still check the wallpaper sometimes, though. You know…just in case," the Grumpig said.
"I think they actually replaced all the wallpaper in the train at least once since then, so he's probably gone by now," the Haunter said.
"Unless he's trapped in the walls, which would mean he's still here somewhere," the Grumpig said. There was a pause, and then they both took a worried look around them. When they didn't see any tormented faces in the walls, they relaxed slightly.
"Anyway. Not what I signed up for," the Haunter said.
"Yeah. Oh well, at least the worst they can do is blow us up. Then we won't be stuck in wallpaper. Or walls. Or whatever," the Grumpig said.
"Actually, I've heard the Nihilators have some kind of soul-capturing…thing," the Haunter said.
"They do?" the Grumpig said in alarm.
"Yeah. So…they might still get us," the Haunter said.
"And put us in wallpaper?" the Grumpig said.
"Worse!" the Haunter said.
"…There's worse than being put in wallpaper?" the Grumpig asked incredulously.
"Or so I hear," the Haunter said.
"Yikes," the Grumpig said. "I hope that Ash guy gets rescued already so he can save us before anything like that happens."
"Yeah, me too," the Haunter said.
Lu shook her head wearily as she stared at what was going on outside. "Its times like this I wonder if I should ever have left Ameroup…" She glanced at Sparky, who was flying his electric steed warily around the giant ball of darkness surrounding Lugia, unsure what to do. "Mi amore…be careful…"
"Dammit Ash, where are you?" Pikachu growled, clutching his sword.
In Nihilator clutches, Dawn said.
"I'm aware of that. It was a rhetorical question," Pikachu said wearily.
Oh. Sorry, the ninja said.
"Leo, Sasha, how's it look?" Pikachu asked the other two members of Team Aurabolt.
Sasha was shaking, and doing her best to stop it. "It looks very bad…and I sense it is about to get worse."
"Isn't that how it always is?" Pikachu asked.
"Pretty much, yes," Sasha admitted.
Leo glanced away from the window. "Well, I can safely say that Lugia's Shadow power level is higher than any other Nihilator I've seen, except for possibly Oblivion's Shadow…and since the Shadow we saw in Treasure Town was just a projection, I can't help but get a liiiittle bit worried at the thought of how powerful the real one's gonna be."
"Great, one more thing to worry about," Pikachu sighed.
"Like the fact that if Zapdos, who's one of the gods who enchanted your sword, dies, Thunder Fang may lose a significant amount of its power?" Leo said.
Pikachu's eye twitched. "Yes, exactly like that," he growled.
Master, I don't suppose there's any advice you can give me? Sasha asked.
No. Sorry, you're on your own, Darkrai said apologetically.
Wonderful, she sighed.
"Hey, why aren't we attacking Lugia or the other birds while they're doing that?" Pikachu asked.
"Because Transformation is a Free Action and because we're a little busy right now trading shots with one of those battleships," Leo said as the car shook abruptly as a lucky shot from the ship they were fighting impacted against their armor. "And also because the energy waves that thing's giving off are too strong for anyone's attacks to get close."
"Oh. Right," Pikachu said sullenly.
Something is happening, Dawn said as the three birds started circling the burning black orb, moving faster and faster, the only things capable of withstanding the intense Shadow radiation the sphere was giving off at such close range.
"Sasha, I don't suppose this is the 'worse' part you detected?" Pikachu asked.
"I'm afraid so," the Absol nodded solemnly.
"Energy readings are spiking…oh mon, this isn't good." Biting his lip, Leo glanced outwards at Lily, looking at the corrupted birds with understandable worry on her face. "Lily…dammit, I wish I could be out there, by your side…don't worry, I promise I'll learn how to fly someday! Or get a robot exo-suit. That should work about as well."
In his empty compartment, Brodie stared at the corrupted legendary birds out the window and thought to himself that they might probably make a pretty good meal. He wondered if anyone remembered he was still there, and if they did, would they remember to feed him anytime soon? He was sooooooooo hungry…
Three prominences of black flames erupted from the mass of Shadow Aura surrounding Lugia, each striking and enveloping one of the birds, who cackled insanely as the evil energy filled their bodies. "Oh yeah," Articuno gasped. "That's just what I needed!"
"Yes…yessssss…" Zapdos hissed eagerly.
"The power…the POWER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Moltres laughed madly.
The earth trembled, the air sizzled, and static crackled in the air. With a great rumble, dark clouds swirled to life overhead, blotting out the Black Sun and covering the desert in even more unnatural darkness. Hail fell and freezing winds began to blow as Articuno broke away from the sphere, still wreathed in Shadow Aura shaped like a bird of prey, and entered her Hyper Mode. Her beautiful blue feathers became a grim purple and black. Her legs grew longer and scalier, ice spikes erupting from the joints as her talons became longer and serrated. Her streamer-like tail split into three, fanning out behind her. A second, smaller set of wings made of pure ice grew beneath her regular wings, which had sprouted ice spikes from its joints and the ends of its feathers. A thick cluster of ice spikes burst out of her back, resembling a shell. Her eyes turned completely red as her head crest pointed forward and elongated to resemble a black spiked crown, and her beak stretched out, many fangs of ice growing from its sides. She shrieked with insane laughter and flapped her wings, generating a tremendous blast of ice and snow that billowed outwards in every direction.
The clouds rumbled, and alongside the hail lightning flashed across the skies as Zapdos broke away from Lugia as well, Shadow Aura wrapping around him to take the form of a bird of prey almost identical to his own shape. Within the Aura, his body transformed as he went into Hyper Mode. His coloration swapped, yellow becoming black and black becoming yellow. Each of his spiky feathers elongated and grew yellow zigzags like lightning bolts at the tips. His talons also took on a lightning bolt shape, growing crooked and turning into metal. Numerous metal blades shaped like lightning bolts burst out of his back and metal panels of the same shape as his wings formed over his flight appendages, also with lightning bolt shapes at the edges. His eyes turned completely red except for the black circles around them as his head crest hardened and turned into a jagged metal crown with incredibly sharp lightning bolt-shaped blades rising away from it. His beak turned to metal and gained a spiral groove much like a drill with jagged metal teeth on the undersides that, for a change, weren't shaped like lightning bolts but only because that would be impractical. Finally, a jagged silvery lightning-bolt shaped blade erupted from his forehead. He howled with mad laughter and flapped his wings, generating a tremendous blast of electricity and static that crackled and danced around him.
Finally, as if the weather wasn't bad enough already, the clouds started glowing red and orange in places as fire, actual fire began to rain from the skies, balls of flame and embers intermixing with the hailstones and lightning bolts to create a storm unlike any the world had ever seen before. Moltres swooped away from Lugia, dancing gleefully among the flames as her Shadow Aura mimicked the form of her body, with great plumes of it blazing outwards in representation of her natural flames. As the skies and her evil Aura burned around her, she entered Hyper Mode. Her orange and yellow feathers turned black veined with red, causing her to resemble magma. Her wings, tail, and crest crackled and turned purple and black as well, transforming into fire composed of Shadow Aura rather than natural flames. Her talons elongated, each of them bursting into flame as her legs took on the consistency of molten lava. Her eyes didn't just turn red; they transformed into actual flames as embers and tongues of fire streamed away from them. Her brown beak, much like her legs, took on the consistency of lava as fangs made of black rock sprouted inside it, streams and runnels of liquid rock dripping from her jaws. Finally, a crown with a base made of molten rock and points composed of dancing flames, both regular and Shadow, appeared on her brow. She screeched with demented laughter and flapped her wings, generating a tremendous blast of flames that blazed out around her.
As the passengers of the Enchanted Express stared in horror, Lugia's Shadow Aura shrank back into himself, condensing and growing darker and darker until it hardened into a layer of what looked like crystallized Shadow completely covering his body. His form encased in a virtually impenetrable skintight blackness, he rose up behind the three birds, which, despite having entered Hyper Mode, were still smaller and somehow less terrifying than he was. He roared and beat his wings, and suddenly it was raining on top of everything else, making the weather even more miserable.
Articuno opened her beak, her Shadow Aura swirling and the air temperature dropping sharply, and spewed a Shadow Chill, the super-cold Shadow attack freezing several dozen Nihilator ships solid and covering a good chunk of the ground in jagged dark purple ice, which promptly shattered as the frozen ships fell from the sky and crashed onto it. Some of the ice hit the train cars too, but they were still insulated from the battle yesterday so didn't suffer too much damage. Zapdos spread his wings, causing thunder and lightning to crack down all around them as he built up his power, and unleashed a Shadow Bolt, blue and black bolts of electricity lancing out and dancing from ship to ship, frying their systems and causing explosions to erupt across their hulls as they experienced massive engine failures and began to crash. A few bolts even struck the train cars, although thankfully their shields were able to deflect the attack…but just barely. Moltres opened her beak, flames dancing around her body and shooting through the sky, and exhaled a Shadow Fire, a purple and black torrent of flames that engulfed numerous ships as well as the cars, causing the battleships to violently explode as their fuel and ammunition was ignited, and a lot of the armor on the cars melted slightly. Additionally, all of Happy's shed skins had long since been disintegrated by the elemental frenzy, and the weather was driving Bow's elemental friends crazy, despite the wind mage's best efforts to calm them, leaving the cars far more vulnerable than they had been before.
But the show wasn't over yet. Lugia opened his mouth, and the rain came down harder than ever, and all the light seemed to vanish, except for the glow from Lugia's red eyes, growing brighter and brighter. Darkness swirled around his body and coalesced into a perfect sphere of absolute blackness in his jaws that pulsated and emitted hundreds of beams of purple and black energy that combined into a single MASSIVE energy beam at least as large, if not larger, than the one created by the Arachnoblast's Wave Motion Cannon. Realizing there was no way they could survive such an attack, the frantic passengers on the train cars quickly drove away from the horrifically powerful Shadow Blast while everyone outside the cars desperately Teleported or portalled out of the way just before the beam could hit them. The Nihilator ships nearby were not so lucky, and were completely vaporized. The Shadow Blast kept going past them, growing wider and wider the further away it got from Lugia, until it finally hit the ground, plowing a deep fissure in the desert floor that stretched for miles and miles into the distance, creating a new canyon visible from orbit that, even centuries after the fact, would still radiate purple and black mist and make anyone who came near it rather queasy.
Everyone stared at the devastation, shocked. In his car, Leo's jaw hung open, uncharacteristically speechless. Zippo finally broke the silence. "Okay," he said weakly. "I think I've decided on 'scared shitless.'"
Tarantulas laughed giddily. "Vunderbar! Vunderbar! I should have brought out Lugia and ze ozzer birds ages ago! I don't even care zat zey're blowing up our own ships, so long as zey manage to kill zem, I'll be happy!"
"It is no great loss. They were sissies," Viers said dismissively.
Tarantulas rolled his eyes. "Zat seems to be your opinion of everyone."
"That is because they are sissies. None of them can defeat Viers! Because Viers is not a sissy! And sissies cannot defeat Viers. Because Viers is not a sissy," Viers said.
"What if one of them did beat you?" Tarantulas asked.
"Then they would not be sissies," Viers said reasonably.
"…Eh, I guess zat makes sense," Tarantulas admitted. "In any event, ze birds are certainly no sissies, and zey vill finally put an end to zis exasperating rebellion! And once zey are all taken care of, ve shall take ze remaining Star Badges, and zen none can stop ze Nihilators! Gyahahahahahaha!" He paused, a worried look forming on his face. "I shouldn't have said zat, should I? Oh crap, somezing terrible's about to happen because I said zat, isn't it? It has every time so far!"
Everyone looked around the control room anxiously. A few moments passed. Then, abruptly, Chobin's stomach growled, causing everyone to jump. "Sorry, Chobin has not had anything to eat lately," Chobin whined. "Doctor would not feed hungry Chobin before putting him in this ball!"
"Sorry, Chobin, but I felt it necessary. I vas vorried you might choke on somezing, or zrow up after getting dizzy from all ze rolling around, eat it again, and choke on your own vomit, or slip on it and hurt yourself, or somezing like zat," Tarantulas apologized. "I'll give you somezing to eat once zis crisis is over."
"But I want to eat noooooooooooooooowwww! Chobin is sooooooooooo hungry!" Chobin moaned. He licked his lips. "So hungry in fact, Chobin is even considering eating himself!" Drooling, he bit into his arm and yelped in pain. "Owowow!...Mmm, yum…Chobin is tasting Chobinlicious!" He started chewing on his arm some more. "Mmm-ow! Mmm-ow! Mmm-ow!"
Tarantulas sighed. "Viers?"
Viers obediently shoved Chobin's sphere, sending him rolling around the room and causing him to forget about eating himself for the moment. "Wheeeeeeeee!"
"Zank you. Vere vas I? Oh yes, vorrying zat I'd jinxed us somehow," Tarantulas recalled.
"You are being silly. Very silly. Like a sissy. Who is silly," Viers said. "We are not sissies! Therefore we are not silly! Therefore nothing is going to go wrong!"
On cue, a hologram of a Nihilator appeared. "Doctor Tarantulas, sir, the prisoners we captured from the Enchanted Express have escaped, including the Lucario Oblivion's Shadow insisted we get!"
Doctor Tarantulas' eye twitched. "Viers?"
"Yes, Doctor?" Viers asked timidly, realizing he may have overstepped himself.
"You are very, very lucky. Do you know vhy?" Tarantulas asked quietly.
"Er…no, Doctor. Why?" Viers asked uneasily.
"I zink mein anger chip just broke, and until it's replaced, I von't feel properly motivated to kill you," Tarantulas said calmly.
"Oh," Viers said. "Er…good?"
"Unfortunately, now zat mein anger chip is broken, mein happiness chip is going to kick in any second now, meaning I'm going to become as loony as Chobin," Tarantulas said. His eye twitched. "Oh, it's booting up now." His mechanical eye turned blue, and a horrifically and uncharacteristically giddy expression appeared in his face. "I'm covered in spiders!" he said excitedly.
"Um. Yes. You are," Viers said awkwardly.
Tarantulas frowned at the wary Nihilators staring at him. "But nobody else has some…ooh, I know! I'll lend you some of mine! After all, sharing is caring!" Several of the spiders on Tarantulas' body swarmed down his web and across the floor, causing the bridge crew to run screaming as they tried to evade the voracious mechanoids. "Awww, look how happy zat one is! He's made some new friends!" Tarantulas observed as an operator ran past, screaming as he frantically tried to knock off the spiders crawling up his body. Tarantulas clapped his legs together happily. "Yaaaaaay!"
"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" Chobin chorused, clapping as well.
Tarantulas' head snapped around to focus on Chobin. "Chobin!" Tarantulas gasped. "You're in a ball!"
"I know!" Chobin said. "You put Chobin in here!"
"I did, didn't I?" Tarantulas recalled as Chobin rolled around, squashing some of the robots scurrying around the floor, much to the relief of the Nihilators. That relief turned to horror when Tarantulas announced, "Zat looks like fun! I wanna try!"
"Okay!" Chobin said.
Tarantulas hopped off of his web and onto Chobin's ball, legs working rapidly as he ran on top of the sphere, rolling it around the room and forcing the Nihilators to run in terror again lest they be crushed by their—more than usually—deranged leader. "Wheeeee!"
"Wheeeeee!" Chobin echoed.
Tarantulas laughed like a schoolboy. "I should have turned off my anger chip years ago! Zis is so much fun!"
"Why do you think Chobin is always breaking things like broken glass that is broken because Chobin has shattered it all over the place because he is liking to break things because it is fun?" Chobin agreed. "Being stuffy and boring is stuffy and boring! Being a free spirit like Chobin is so much funner!"
"Funner isn't a vord, but I don't care right now! I can't remember ze last time I've been so happy!" Tarantulas said joyfully.
Viers stared as the Doctor and Chobin rolled around the control room, making a game to see how many things they could squish, designating points for each thing they destroyed, with ten points per spider and fifty points per Nihilator. They tried to roll into him a few times, but he always batted them away, much to their disappointment. "…Perhaps I was too hasty. Haste is good, but also bad. This time it was bad. Because the Doctor is more insane than usual. Which is bad. Because of my haste to assert our superiority. Even though we are superior. We are more superior by far than anyone else. Because we are not sissies…" the Emboar said. He paused when the same Nihilator from before ran by, still screaming as the robot spiders devoured his legs. "…I think."
…
Several minutes earlier…
"Damn, damn, damn…this isn't good!" Denchu the Galvantula hissed as she paced back and forth, while behind her her children feasted on the corpse of Cherry the Girafarig. "I've really blown it this time…now he'll suffer at the hands of Oblivion's Shadow, and maybe die, and we'll never get married!"
"It's probably for the best," a very weak and wounded Rebecca said from where she had been fastened to the wall by the assassin's Electroweb. Several of her tentacles had been torn off, and one of her eyes was ripped out. She was bruised and beaten all over, and ectoplasm was oozing from numerous parts of her spectral form "After all…just imagine what the children would look like…"
"Silence!" Denchu hissed, blasting Cherry with a Discharge. Her children paused in their meal and added some voltage of their own, causing the Frillish to cry in agony as still more electricity coursed through her. "I have had almost enough of your impudence! Do you wish to join your friend so badly on the other side?"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Rebecca said with a weak grin. "Like your boss said, I'm a spiritualist. I've got lots of friends willing to give me a warm reception…that will be more than happy to avenge my death…"
"You may wish for death once Oblivion's Shadow gets his hands on you…he is endlessly fascinated with souls, and especially interested with Ghosts like yourself," Denchu chittered. "I can only imagine the tortures he has in store for someone like you, especially someone with such power over spirits…I'm sure there is much he can learn from you…"
Rebecca managed a grin. "If I wasn't willing to tell you what you wanted to know despite all the crap you've put me through for the last few hours, what makes you think I'll tell your faceless master anything he wants to know?"
"Because he is far less gentle than I…and much more…meticulous in his methods," Denchu crooned, her children giggling evilly. "It is impossible to keep any secrets from him. You are lucky he was not here now, or he would have you begging for mercy and willing to sell out your dearest friends just to make the pain stop within seconds."
"Speaking of the big guy," Rebecca said, not letting that comment faze her. "Where is he, anyway? I'd have thought he'd want to be in the front row for a show like this, to make sure nothing goes wrong. Especially after the setback you guys suffered yesterday!" She grinned. "Which is nothing compared to the setback we're going to hand you today…"
The Galvantula faltered for a moment. "He was…unable to join us. It matters not, for we don't need him to defeat the likes of you!" Denchu sneered, regaining her determination. "You are very confident for one who has been stolen right out from under the noses of your friends and is securely in our clutches. We have already subverted the power of your oracle, and brought an end to her ruinous prophecies. Do you not understand your doom? If we could thwart the destiny she foresaw for us so easily, how do you think your allies could possibly stand a chance of beating us?"
Rebecca managed a chuckle. "If you think that's the end of it, you're sadly mistaken."
"The end of it? I killed her! My children are devouring her as we speak!" Denchu said angrily, gesturing to the fast-disappearing corpse.
"Yeah, and I died yesterday but I'm here talking to you now, aren't I?" Rebecca pointed out. "Come on, do you really think an oracle like Cherry would let something like death stop her?"
"But she didn't see it coming," Denchu protested.
"No, but she knew she was going to die someday, so how do you know she didn't have something special ready just in case? She's very good, I'll admit that, but even she knows she can sometimes be wrong. The stunt you pulled last night is proof of that," Rebecca pointed out. "I've known Cherry a long time, most of her life, actually, which is how I know, beyond a doubt…that she rarely if ever leaves anything to chance!"
It was at that moment that one of the Joltik eating Cherry's body hesitated, eyes dilating. "Momma…I don't…feel so…good…" It groaned and sagged on its belly, eyes closing. The other Joltik blinked, moaned, and followed suit, dropping one by one to the floor. Their bodies shook for a moment, and then lay still as they drew their last breaths.
"NO! MY BABIES!" Denchu screamed in horror, rushing over to her children.
"Well, would you look at that…I guess she predicted she was going to die by some monster eating her—not necessarily at the mandibles of your kids, but getting eaten by someone or something, definitely-and poisoned her flesh so she'd take down her killer!" Rebecca said, looking pleased and only mildly surprised. "Either that or she's even more crazily prepared than that Leo guy and made her body poisonous just in case. That wouldn't surprise me very much."
"No…no, no, no! You can't be dead! Please wake up!" the Galvantula cried, desperately shaking her children, and when that failed to work, zapping them with electricity to try and reanimate them. All that did was cause them to convulse rather grotesquely and flail their legs about before lying still again. "No…nooooooooooooooo!"
"As a mother myself, I should probably sympathize with you…but your kids were monsters, and you've spent the last several hours torturing me, so honestly, I can't say I'm very sorry," Rebecca said drily.
"Neither am I," said the transparent Duskull that levitated from the grisly remains and became solid in moments, startling Denchu.
"Oh, there you are. I was wondering what was taking you so long," Rebecca said. "I was wondering if I was going to need to use my power over spirits to draw you back."
"If it had taken that much longer for those toxins to kick in, you might have had to," the undead Cherry said. "I tried to hold on for as long as I could, but if too much more time had passed I'd have been unable to pull myself back on my own."
"Y-you…the oracle! B-but how?" Denchu stammered in disbelief.
The Duskull chuckled as it floated around the shocked Galvantula's head. "I said before that today wasn't the day I died, and as always when it comes to the future, I was telling the truth."
"Wasn't…but I slit your throat!" Denchu protested.
Cherry shrugged. "You and I have different views on when exactly 'death' settles in. For you, it's when the body stops working. For me, it's when a spirit fully departs this plane of existence. And since I'm still here, I don't consider myself 'truly' dead. Granted, it's really just a matter of semantics, but that's how I see it." She glanced at the myriad Joltik corpses. "Speaking of which, by both our definitions I'd say your children are dead. I'd apologize, but they were eating me, so I don't feel too torn up about it."
"You may not be, but I'm furious!" Denchu screamed. "They were my children! They had a great future ahead of them! Once we conquered the world and the Doctor married me, the Earth would have been their Cloyster! Nothing would have been denied them! And you've ruined everything!"
"It was already ruined, Denchu. Your dream had no chance of succeeding," Cherry said.
The Galvantula froze. "What?"
"Doctor Tarantulas has never had any feelings for you like that, and was never going to. He's just not interested in you that way, and not just because he had to replace his sexual organs with machinery long ago (although I'm sure that had something to do with limiting his sex drive)," Cherry said. "He's too dedicated to science and his quest of global annihilation to ever see a person like you as anything more than a tool at best or something to experiment on and/or feed to Chobin at worst. That and you're too organic for him. His tastes run a little more towards the, ah, mechanical, if you know what I mean. You know, what with him being a cyborg and all."
"Ew," said a disgusted Rebecca.
Denchu staggered backwards, a look of shock and disbelief on her face. "Wh-what? No…no, that can't be true! You're lying!"
Cherry shook her head. "I never lie about the future, remember?"
Hmm…should I feel bad about the fact that her heart has been broken and all her hopes and dreams have been completely and irrevocably shattered? Rebecca wondered briefly as she saw the look of utter despair on Denchu's face. Hmm…nah, screw the bitch.
"You'll…you'll regret this…" Denchu snarled furiously. "Reinforcements are already on their way…the Doctor sent them! They'll make you pay for what you did to my babies!"
"Mmm…well, you're half-right," Cherry said. "Someone's going to come barging in here in just a moment…but it's not any Nihilator."
Denchu blinked in confusion. "What? But then who-"
At that moment, the door to the luggage car slammed open and Todd entered the room. "Hold that look on your face!" he shouted to the startled Denchu as he quickly snapped a picture. "I want our readers to see your utter shock and disbelief as the brave heroes come to the rescue of your cruelly seized prisoners!"
Rebecca frowned. "Funny, I was expecting someone more…useful to come to our rescue…"
"W-wait, what? How did you get in here?" asked the startled Denchu.
"I'm a member of the press, we have a way of getting into places where we're not wanted!" Todd said triumphantly.
"That and we smashed our way into this landing bay after leaving the others to take on the majority of Tarantulas' forces and keep him from noticing us," Palmer said as he, Fantina, and the Happy husk came in behind Todd.
"Ah, that's more like it," Rebecca said in relief.
"The cavalry has arrived, just as I anticipated," Cherry said smugly.
And then Todd did something unexpected. "No, no, no! That won't do at all! Get back outside!" he cried, spreading his wings and shoving the startled Palmer, Fantina and shed skin out the door.
"Wait, what are you-" the startled Fantina protested.
"You can't make a dramatic entrance like that! You're here to rescue your friends; you can't just…casually walk into the room! You need to bust in here, fists flying and spells blazing!" Todd insisted. "It'll look much better on the front page!"
"But-" Palmer protested.
Todd backed back into the car and grabbed the door. "Now, I'm going to close the door and back into a good shooting position. Count down to three, then bust in here like you were in an action movie or something!"
"I'm not sure zis is-" Fantina started.
"Great! Remember, on three!" Todd said, ignoring them. He closed the door and took several steps back.
"What…what is…what is going on?" asked an extremely confused Denchu.
"I'm confused too, but I'm starting to get used to it with this bunch," Rebecca said drily.
"One…two…three…" Cherry counted down.
On three, the door exploded open as flames spiraled into the room, the three Pokémon (well, two Pokémon and one husk) dashing in out of the inferno, Palmer wielding twin ice swords, fireballs and Shadow Balls swirling around Fantina as an eerie glow surrounded her, and the wings of the Happy husk vibrating rapidly and flashing in various colors. "Perfect!" Todd said delightedly as he took the picture. "Just how I imagined it!" He pulled the printed photo off his tongue and held it up to the light. "Hmm…not bad, not ba…wait…Kairyu, you blinked! You ruined the whole thing! Now we've gotta do the whole thing over! Quick, get outside and-"
"Yeah, no," Palmer said, shoving past Todd.
"Sorry dear," Fantina apologized as she floated past the crestfallen Todd. "I'm sure what you already 'ave is good enough!"
"Yeah, I guess…I suppose we can always edit the photo before it prints or something…" Todd said reluctantly.
"You! Y-you shouldn't be here!" Denchu screeched in alarm, scurrying backwards. "Guards! Guards!"
"Sorry, but I'm afraid you won't be getting help anytime soon," Palmer said with a smirk.
"We've already taken care of ze Nihilators in ze bay, and sealed ze 'angar to keep any ozzer meddlers from poking zeir noses where zey don't belong," Fantina said smugly. Her face darkened when she saw the bad condition Rebecca was in, and Cherry's bug-eaten corpse. "Which is good, since it means nobody will stop us from giving you what you deserve…"
"Oh, you think so, do you?" Denchu hissed angrily. "I can't die…not until I avenge my children!" The lines on her suit started glowing. "I will vanish into thin air…and slay you as an unseen, unheard, undetectable specter of wrath!" Cackling, her form rippled and disappeared completely.
"Uh, Cherry, I don't suppose your rebirth has made your third eye strong enough to see her this time?" Rebecca asked worriedly.
"No, but I don't need to," Cherry said with a grin. "Somebody else's is."
"Zat's right," Fantina said smugly as what looked like some kind of high-tech (or magitech?) monocle materialized over one of her eyes, the lens glowing green as she slowly scanned the room. The monocle flashed, and she burst into a grin. "Aha! Zere you are!" She conjured a fireball and hurled it at what looked like thin air and hitting…something, exploding and causing a screeching Denchu to rematerialize, frantically trying to beat out the flames on her suit.
"Aaaahhh! No! H-how did you-" the Galvantula cried in horror.
Fantina chuckled. "You see, dear, your little trick is pretty impressive…but once you know 'ow it works, it's no more dangerous zan your average invisibility spell. And zanks to ze genius of my dear Lily's beau Leo, we were able to figure out 'ow zose suits of yours function…as well as 'ow to manufacture a device using my matter replication spell to see right zhrough zem!"
Palmer grinned and raised his swords. "Which means…you're completely vulnerable!" He dashed forwards at the incredible speeds Dragonites were renowned for.
"N-no! It can't end like this! Not yet!" Denchu protested, spitting an Electroweb at Palmer and leaping onto the ceiling when he easily slashed through it, scurrying for the back of the car as fast as she could…
Only to find Happy's shell blocking her path. The husk's wings started vibrating and its antenna glowed, and much to the Galvantula's horror, she dropped from the ceiling, her body no longer responding to her frenzied commands. "No! What's happening! Why…why can't I move-"
There was a flash and a sharp pain, followed by numbness. She blinked in confusion, wondering why she was lying on the floor, why Palmer was standing before her with his back to her, and why she couldn't feel the back half of her body. "Uhhh…what…what did you…" That's when her rearmost eyes informed her that her abdomen had been separated from her body and was lying a few feet away, back legs twitching as a pool of blood grew between them. "…Oh. I see." As her vision faded, her eyes switching off one by one, her final thoughts were of regret mingled with joy; regret that she had failed her beloved Doctor…and joy that at least she would be with her children again.
"Thanks for the save, but what took you so long?" Rebecca asked as Fantina burned the Electroweb off of her.
"Are you kidding? It's a warzone out there! There's tons of fighters and battleships shooting at us and each other, and we had to weave our way through real-life 'bullet hell' just to even get close to this giant walking fortress, and then we had to blast our way in, and take out the guards, and wow did I ever get the best pictures!" Todd said giddily.
Rebecca rolled her eyes as she cast a healing spell on herself, regrowing her missing limbs and body parts. "Well, I'm glad somebody's happy…"
Fantina burned the webbing off Ash, Ritchie, Tiny, and Cruise, who had been pinned to the opposite wall, using telekinesis to gently lower them to the floor. "You poor dears! Zis can't 'ave been ze most pleasant of experiences," she tutted when she saw how out of it and damaged they looked. "'Ere, let me 'elp…" She cast healing spells on them too.
"Ugh…what…what happened, Daddy?" Cruise moaned as he regained consciousness.
"Sp-spiders…crawling all over me…spiders everywhere!" Ritchie stammered as he scratched himself, mad-eyed.
"Don't worry, they're all gone. The spiders are dead," Ash said gently, grabbing the other Lucario's shoulder and pointing at the corpses across the room. "They won't bother us anymore." He tried not to shudder as the lingering memory of their legs crawling all over his body tingled across his skin, but worse still was the memory of his latest nightmare…what the heck had that been about? Seriously, why was he dreaming about a zombified Misty now? He was really starting to think he needed therapy…
"D-Daddy? Why are we in the luggage car? What's going on?" Tiny said a little woozily, picking up on his father's anxiety.
"You were abducted by an agent of Doctor Tarantulas that managed to sneak onto the train," Palmer explained as he came over, dissolving his ice swords. "You and this entire train car were transported on board the Doctor's giant robot spider fortress so that you would be unable to help us fend off his attack."
"…A giant robot spider fortress? Seriously?" Ritchie asked incredulously.
"Wh-what? Really?" said the startled Tiny.
"That's…kind of scary," Cruise murmured. "They were able to get us that easily but didn't kill us, even though they could have? Yikes…"
"What? How'd they get on board? I thought that was supposed to be impossible!" a shocked Ash protested.
"And Cherry never mentioned anything like that happening," an alarmed Ritchie agreed.
"That's because, for once, I didn't see it coming," Cherry said as she floated over. "I'm as miffed as you are, let me tell you."
They stared at her. "Cherry, why are you a Duskull?" Ash asked.
"I died," Cherry said, pointing at her half-eaten corpse. The others grimaced.
"Ah," Ritchie said.
"Ewwwww!" Tiny and Cruise chorused.
"I'm okay now, though," Cherry pointed out. "As are all of you, despite the Doctor's best efforts to the contrary."
"And now that we've managed to free the six of you, it's time to get out of here. The others are battling the Doctor and his minions as we speak, and they'll need your help to keep from being overwhelmed," Palmer said.
Ash gasped. "What? He's started his attack? How are the others?"
"All right so far. They sent us to come and rescue you while they're fighting the bulk of the Doctor's forces," Todd said.
"Why'd they only send you guys, though?" Tiny asked, slightly miffed that so few had come to their rescue.
"We were ze only ones zey could spare. Ze Doctor's brought a lot of strong cards to ze table," Fantina said apologetically.
"They're fighting cards? They can't be that tough, then," Cruise said, misunderstanding.
"Maybe they're giant cards that shoot lasers and stuff. Ooh! Or maybe he's like Mewgle and decided to bring Lu-Gi-Oh cards to life!" Tiny suggested.
"Ooh, that would be neat!" Cruise said.
Fantina blinked. "What? No, zat's not what I…oh, never mind."
"What kinds of cards are we talking about here?" Ash asked with a frown.
"Lugia and the legendary birds," Palmer said.
Ash stiffened, Tiny and Cruise gasped, and Ritchie bit off a curse. "What? But we're not there to fight them! How are the others going to manage without us?" the leader of Team Getem demanded.
"That's sort of why we need to get out of here right now, before the birds wipe the floor with them," Todd said nervously.
Fantina nodded sadly. "From what I can see from my ozzer 'alf, ze four of zem are really powerful, and Lugia…what zey've turned 'im into…it's 'orrifying."
Ash clenched his fists angrily, Tiny giving him a worried look at the anger radiating off of him. "What do you mean, 'other half?'" Cruise asked in puzzlement.
"I'm not all 'ere," Fantina said. "What you see is just a part of me. I split myself in two so zat I could 'elp rescue you as well as fight ze Nihilators wiz ze ozzers."
"Oh. Is that safe?" Cruise asked.
"Aside from the fact that it means neither half is able to fight at full power since that power is divided between two Fantinas, no," Rebecca said, looking concerned.
Fantina grimaced. "Which is anozzer reason we need to get going immediately…"
Ash nodded grimly. "So I can purify Lugia…and put an end to the three traitorous elemental birds once and for all."
"And I'll help. Are you sure you're ready?" Ritchie asked.
"As ready as I'm going to be," Ash said, pushing back his doubts and all the questions his nightmare had left him with.
"Do you know what it is you 'ave to do?" Fantina asked.
"Not really," Ash admitted. "I'll figure something out when I get there. It's worked for me so far."
"It will not be as hard as you think. You and Lugia share a bond, Ash," Cherry said, floating forwards and touching Ash's chest. "Deep down, you already know what must be done to save him. When you reach him, the solution will make itself clear."
Ash rubbed the spot where she had touched him, a little chilled, though he wasn't sure if it was from trepidation or because the oracle's ectoplasm was really cold. "I'll take your word for it. Your prophecies have never been wrong so far."
"Um, didn't she fail to warn us that Doctor Tarantulas would send someone to kidnap us?" Cruise pointed out.
"He used some fancy-shmancy technology to do it. Won't happen again," Cherry said.
"How do you know that? If he was able to blindside you once like that, what's to stop him from doing it again?" Rebecca asked.
"Because, as Leo told us, the resources necessary to make stealth suits as powerful as the ones he did are extremely rare and expensive, and since he made enough for both Denchu and her children, it's unlikely he'll have much left to spare on any others," Palmer said.
"Plus, we've already figured out 'ow to see zhrough zem—again zanks to Leo—so if 'e does try somezing like zis again, we'll be ready," Fantina promised.
Cherry shrugged. "Good enough for me. How about you all?"
"I suppose so," Rebecca said reluctantly.
"Well, okay," Cruise said uncertainly.
"That's very nice, but I think we need to get moving," Ritchie said, glancing around. "Now, where's my Fist Plate? I don't suppose that spider grabbed it?"
"She did. It's right over here," Cruise said, floating over to a familiar rectangular plate sitting on a nearby crate.
"And so's your stuff, Daddy!" Tiny said excitedly, hovering next to Ash's staff and gloves. The Pupitar's favorite top hat and monocle were lying right next to them.
"What're those doing here?" Ash asked in relief as he slid his paws into his gloves and helped Tiny put his clothes on.
"They stole them at the same time they kidnapped you so we couldn't use them, or so that they might be able to use them against us, I suppose," Palmer theorized.
Fantina nodded in agreement. "I just bet zey'd love to get zeir 'ands on an auzentic Plate of Arceus, or ze weapons of an Aura Guardian!"
"They left your badges, though, to try and trick us into thinking you were still on board. Here," Todd said, handing Ash and Tiny's badges to their rightful owners. "I think these belong to you."
"Thank you very much," Ash said as he gratefully pinned his badge back on.
"It felt weird not having it," Tiny complained. "I'm glad to have it back!"
"Well, whatever the Doctor had planned for these things, that's not going to happen, because they're back where they belong," Ritchie said, a grin forming. He slapped the Fist Plate to his chest. "'When the universe was created, its shards became this Plate!' Fist Plate, Armor Up!" he shouted, his armor appearing on him in a flash of light.
Todd snapped a photo. "That is still so cool!" he gushed. "Ash, why can't you have a power-up or transformation that's as photogenic as that? You're supposed to be the Chosen One; I figured you'd have something even cooler than that!"
"Wh-what? I, uh…" Ash stammered in confusion.
"Hey, Daddy's going to get one of those someday!" Tiny said indignantly. "And it's gonna be way cooler than Ritchie's!"
"No it's not," Cruise said.
"Yes it is!" Tiny insisted.
"No it's not!" Cruise said.
"Yes it is!" Tiny insisted.
"NO IT'S NOT!" Cruise yelled, getting in Tiny's face.
"YES IT IS!" Tiny shouted, smashing his face into Cruise's.
"Um, Tiny, that's not necessary," a Mareepish Ash said as he pulled the Pupitar away.
"Cruise, I thought I taught you better than that!" Ritchie said as he pulled Cruise back.
"Sorry, Daddy," the two surrogate sons said simultaneously.
Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Right. Now that that's settled, can we get going already? I thought we were in a bit of a hurry."
"Oh! Right! We have to go save the others!" Ash gasped.
"Yeah! Uh, but how exactly are we going to get to the fight from in here?" Ritchie asked.
Fantina chuckled. "A simple enough matter." She floated over to a box set in the wall and flipped it open, revealing several series of flashing glyphs, runes, and switches. "I'm going to need everyone wiz magical expertise over 'ere, please." Rebecca, Cherry, and Todd immediately came over. Fantina frowned when she noticed Palmer hadn't budged. "Zat includes you, Kairyu."
The Dragonite started. "What? Oh, er, yes, of course." He quickly walked over.
Ritchie frowned and rubbed his chin as the mages started fiddling with the controls. "Hey, that guy's supposed to be a wizard, right?"
"Um, yeah, I think so," Ash said.
"Have you seen him casting any actual spells since we met him?" Ritchie asked.
Ash furrowed his brow in puzzlement as he tried to remember. "I'm…not sure, actually." He frowned as he scrutinized Palmer for a moment. Now that he thought about it, something about the Dragonite seemed vaguely…familiar…much in the same way most of the people he'd met in his past life did. But he didn't remember ever meeting anyone named Kairyu before…or had he?
He was shaken from these thoughts when the panel the mages were working on flashed and the car started rumbling. "Aha! Zere we go!" Fantina said proudly.
"We're on our way!" Todd said excitedly.
"Next stop: our friends, and the legendary birds!" Palmer declared.
And Lugia… Ash thought to himself, clenching his fists.
"Kind of a shame we can't bust this place up some more before we leave," Rebecca complained. "I'd love to give the Doctor some payback for all the crap that lovesick stooge of his put us through."
"Don't worry, this place will be completely destroyed soon enough, and he'll get what's coming to him," Cherry assured her friend.
Rebecca sighed. "I suppose. Still, I don't think it would hurt to leave a little…going-away present, do you?" She cackled malevolently, eyes glowing as she called upon the power of the spirits. Cherry smirked, glad her friend was back in high spirits…oh, that was a pun, wasn't it? How terrible.
The luggage car rolled across the floor of the hangar bay towards the rather sizable hole the rescue team (not to be confused with a certified and badge-wearing Rescue Team) had created in the bay doors when breaking in, the golden tracks of light guiding the car on its path towards freedom. At the back of the room, the blast doors that the rescue team had magically sealed and frozen shut exploded as the Nihilator reinforcements on the other side finally managed to break through just in time to see the luggage car and all its extremely valuable prisoners escaping the Arachnoblast. "Fuck!" the Nihilator squad leader swore when he saw their ticket to getting into Oblivion's Shadow's and Doctor Tarantulas's good graces receding from them.
"Double fuck," another Nihilator said when he noticed how many corpses of their fellows littered the floor and the various states of complete destruction they were in; privately thinking to himself that he was glad he wasn't one of them.
"Triple fuck," said a third Nihilator when a very large group of air and metal elementals swirled into the air or rose from the floor, summoned by Rebecca.
The squad leader sighed. "Doctor Tarantulas is not gonna be happy to hear this…"
(The Doctor was happy when he got the news, actually, just not in the way the squad leader expected.)
"Ze battle against ze birds 'as begun," Fantina announced abruptly as their car rolled out of the Arachnoblast and into the elemental frenzy swirling outside the fortress.
"You think?" Rebecca said snidely. She shuddered. "I don't like this…the spirits are being driven crazy by this weather…if we don't stop it, this storm could have serious consequences for a good chunk of the region. Even Fichina might be affected!"
"Yikes…I'm not even sure the best weather mages can stop something this bad!" Todd said nervously, taking picture after picture of the raging storm.
"If we can defeat the birds, that will put a stop to this," Cherry announced.
"Which means it's all down to me…" Ash murmured.
"Don't forget," Ritchie said, clapping a paw on Ash's shoulder. "We're helping too!"
Ash grinned. "Yeah, I know. I appreciate that. Thanks."
"Daddy, we should let the others know we're coming!" Tiny said excitedly. "Then they'll know they don't need to keep worrying about us!"
Ash nodded. "Good idea." He tapped his badge. "Ash to Team Aurabolt, Ash to Team Aurabolt. Come in, Team Aurabolt!"
"And I'm here too!" Tiny added.
The badge crackled, interference from the storm filling the signal with white noise, but in spite of it the relieved and overjoyed voices of Ash's friends could be heard. "Ash? Tiny? You're back? Thank goodness!" Lily cried.
"Just a moment ago, my disaster-sense told me things were about to get better. I knew it was you!" Sasha said excitedly.
"About time you got out of there, lad! We were worried about you!" Briney said worriedly.
"Dude! Ash! Tiny, my mons! Good to hear from you!" Leo cried. "We knew you wouldn't go down easy!"
We are relieved to hear you are safe, Dawn clicked.
"Ash, Tiny…Arceus, you have no idea how good it is to hear your voices," a very relived Pikachu said. "You have no idea how worried we were! But we never gave up hope that you'd make it back. We knew you'd be okay."
"Thanks," Ash said, the trust and relief from his friends erasing most of his lingering worries. "I'm…I'm very happy to hear that…it's good to hear you guys, too."
"Dude, are you crying?" Leo asked.
"No, I'm not crying!" Ash lied. "Anyway, what about you guys? We just escaped from Doctor Tarantulas' big spider fortress thing, how are things going for you?"
"It's…it's not looking good," Sasha said.
"Don't listen to her; she's making it sound worse than it is!" Briney said.
"Not really, she isn't," Lily commented, causing Briney to grunt in frustration.
"The birds are putting up a very good fight…especially Lugia," Pikachu said. "I'm not sure that we can beat them on our own…but now that you and Tiny and everyone else are on your way, something tells me that everything's going to turn out all right!"
Ash and Tiny smiled, feeling something of their own—perhaps the power of Aura?—agreeing with this sentiment. "Don't worry, guys," Ash said, looking out a window into the heart of the storm. "We're on our way…and when we get there…" He clenched his fist, Aura blazing around them and causing the top of his staff to glow. "Those birds won't know what hit them!"
A battleship they were rolling past exploded as he said this. It was due to a huge lightning strike rather than anything Ash had said, but it underscored his determination and fighting spirit pretty well. "Ooooh," Todd said, snapping a picture of the ship going down in flames behind Ash's proud stance. "That was so cool!" He looked at the photo and frowned. "Hmm, but I don't think the lighting was quite right…can we try that again?"
"NO!" everyone yelled at him.
He scowled at them. "You guys have no respect for photojournalism…" he grumbled.
And so on they rolled, towards the corrupted birds, Lugia, and their friends, as the storm and the battle raged around them.
Towards destiny.
…
Well, what did you think? Was this better than the original version or not that different?
Whatever the case, now that this is taken care of, it's onward to chapter 55! Which is filler…yeah… enjoy it if you can, okay? And try to be patient, since we won't be seeing the continuation of this battle until chapter 56…
But I promise, when we get there, it's going to be EPIC. Don't miss it! And don't miss 55 either, because there's going to be some cool stuff in it, even if it's not quite as epic. So…please read both of them when they come out, 'k?
See you then! And once more, happy third anniversary!
