Rose rolled over tiredly, letting out a slight sigh as she looked up into the deepening evening sky. It wasn't that late, the sun barely having set, but the stars were already barely starting to shine in the eastern edge of the sky. Apparently, her nap had been a bit longer than intended.

"Sleep well?" John's voice drew her attention, and she lifted her head to see him sitting next to her, fiddling with something in his hands that she couldn't quite see. Pushing herself up into a sitting position, supported heavily on one arm, she shrugged and nodded, giving him a lopsided little smile.

"Yes, though I can't help but note that it certainly is more than an hour after mid-afternoon," she said.

"Well, you just looked so peaceful sleeping for once, and I know you haven't been sleeping too well for months now. No way I was gonna wake you up!" he defended, giving her a little shake of his head. "You gotta get your rest, too."

Rose considered that for a moment. Yes, it was true, she did feel a lot more like herself after that long nap. And it really wasn't a big deal, so she just shrugged it off and dropped the issue, blowing out a breath and sitting up properly. She ran her fingers through her mussed hair and then smiled slightly at John, but he dropped his gaze to the item in his hands again, and her smile faded.

"John?" she asked quietly, leaning forward to look. He didn't hide it from her gaze, so she peered over and then let out a soft "oh" in realization.

"Yeah," he said quietly, not looking up from the little pendant on his palm. It was nothing special to look at, just a little green stone wrapped in wire and hung from a chain, but it was valuable beyond words simply for the reason that Jade Harley had worn it around her neck for years.

"I didn't know you had that," she murmured, touching his shoulder. "You've been carrying it this long..."

"She fell asleep wearing it that night," he answered. "Usually when she falls asleep wearing jewelry, it gets all tangled in her hair, so I took it off for her. I meant to give it to her in the morning, but..."

But that, obviously, didn't happen. Rose sighed to herself, biting her lip and then quickly stopping herself because that was a bad habit that had led to very chapped lips and a good deal of pain in the past. "I wish ... I wish I could do something, or that I could have done something. But then again, if nothing was done, it was never meant to happen, was it?"

"It's almost time for the midsummer festival, back home," John said instead of replying. "Remember that? She always used to love dragging you and me along and getting us to play in the fountains with her because that was the one day it was okay for people who aren't two to actually do that."

"I remember," Rose replied, a note of wistfulness in her voice. "I remember. Those were good days."

"I miss her," he admitted, dropping his voice. It still cracked, and she slid the hand on his shoulder around him, pulling him against her side.

"So do I," Rose murmured, lifting her other hand to stroke his hair gently. He fell silent for a few heartbeats, leaving her to quietly stew among her thoughts, considering her old friends and the life she used to lead, the one she might have had, and the one she lived now. It was, perhaps, a slightly dismal train of thought, but she supposed it was one that she would have to consider at some point, was it not?

The truth of the matter was that she still couldn't bring herself to admit that they were all gone, gone for good. It was just too much of a loss to comprehend, maybe—she had hardly been able to deal with the loss of her mother the first time, and that was only one person. Now, she'd lost her cousin, who had been there her whole life; she'd lost her best friend, the girl who had somehow squeezed her way into Rose's heart and had been there to brighten her day for years; she'd lost Roxy. She'd lost her mother, again, but somehow this time it felt worse, if that was possible. This time, it was like she'd lost a second chance, squandered it from her own stupidity and risky behavior.

"It's not your fault," John mumbled, as if he was sensing her thoughts. "Not your doing."

"What?" she asked, startled out of her mind's wanderings. "How did you—"

"I don't need to be a seer to be observant," he replied in a voice that normally might be tart but now was just a little tired and a little sad, and had any sting removed by the comfortable way his head nestled on her shoulder. "I'm your friend, Rose. I know you well enough to guess. Except it isn't really a guess because pretty much every time you stare off into space with that look, it's really obvious that you're beating yourself up in your head. Stop it."

There's a particular expression associated with self-doubt and crippling guilt? she wondered with a touch of a bitter smile. Wasn't that just lovely. Perhaps she wasn't as secure in her own mental secrecy as she would have liked to think. But ah well, if she wasn't as good a seer as she had thought, who was to say that she was any good at anything at all? Certainly not she herself. That would be presumptuous and—

Out of the blue, a sudden breeze tousled her hair, making the silky blonde locks fly everywhere and making Rose sputter as she tried to tuck them back out of her eyes and mouth. "John!"

"Stop it," John said, a hint of a mischievous smile on his face as he sat up, gently tucking her hair behind her ear for her. "You were doing the sad face again. Stop it."

"I suppose I have no choice in the matter," she said with a slight laugh, letting the melancholy moment be carried away on the wind. John was smiling again, and so was she. They were both more than adept at cheering each other up, she supposed; maybe this would be enough. Moving on to more pragmatic concerns, she looked around the little clearing. "Where's Jane?"

"She's digging through the bags in the tent to see if we have any oregano. Said she swore she bought some last time we stopped, but I don't think we have any more." John shrugged, the details of the food seemingly unconcerning to him. "She wants stew for dinner, so we're having stew."

"Ah," Rose said. Looking back down at the pendant, she reached over and picked it up, admiring the way the last light of the setting sun glimmered in the green stone. Then she shifted behind John and fastened it around his neck, patting his shoulder as she did so. "There, now we can be sure you won't drop it."

He lightly skimmed his fingers over the chain, touching the stone briefly before he dropped his hand to his lap, turning his head to give her a small but genuine smile. "Thanks, Rose."

She smiled back, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. "Anytime."


"Hey," John's voice roused her. "Your turn for watch."

Shaking her head and trying to drop the sleepiness, Rose sighed, blinking at the darkness a few times. Her blankets were cozy and warm and Jane was all snuggled up against her side, one arm thrown across her waist, but watch was watch, and John needed to rest too.

"I'm up," she said, pushing herself into a sitting position and carefully extricating herself from Jane. The other girl sighed in her sleep, but didn't wake, though she did try to hold on to Rose. "Get some sleep, John."

"Planning on it," he said, giving her a little crooked grin in the dim light of the moons through the tent flap. After a moment of manuevering in the small space, he was lying where she had been a moment ago, under all the comfortable blankets, and she left the tent, closing the flap behind her.

They were still near the seashore, a ways further west than they had been earlier. There was an old Skaian road running through this region—many, many years ago it had been a center of commerce, Rose thought, but these days trade didn't travel over land. It flew or rode in starships, or in some special cases for the very rich, things were teleported. But it was hard to get access to teleportative devices; they were very expensive and rather nuanced, elaborate, and sometimes risky compared to the simple magic of Space. Which was really a whole other can of worms. The bottom line was, this place was unused now, though the ancient road made traveling easier, and teleportation was really hard.

Well, really hard, unless one was friends with Jade Harley.

Rose let out a breath, starting to pace around the campsite. She missed Jade and Dave more than words could say, more than thoughts could think. Their loss—on her shoulders or not—was a heavy, heavy burden to bear, like a gaping hole in her chest. And it wasn't that she didn't love Jane, because she did care deeply for the girl, but... every time she woke up with a head of dark hair on her shoulder, she immediately thought it was Jade. And that kind of hurt.

Then again, Jane doubtlessly sometimes thought that the tall and slender girl next to her was Roxy, too.

It was just rather odd. Before now, Rose never would have thought that she would say she missed the old days—not the old old days, because she missed those every second of every hour of every day, but the days even after her mother had died and she'd been on the run with John, Jade, and Dave. They hadn't been totally happy, but they had all been together, and they'd had a lot of good days. Sometimes she'd been able to forget that it wasn't a big camping trip.

She couldn't do that with just John and Jane, though. It was a little hard to put her finger on why, but she just... couldn't.

One circuit completed, she returned to her original post, gazing up at the starry sky contemplatively. The nice thing about being out here was that they were all alone, situated on a slight rise amid the rocks that allowed them to be able to see anyone coming across the flat land from miles away. That meant no surprises, and that meant time to think.

As it often did, when she sat alone and thought, Rose's mind wandered back to that night, that one night that shattered everything she'd thought she'd had. Falling rocks, Roxy's shriek, John's scream for Jade as the main room fell, explosions, flame...

Overall, not a good memory.

Sometimes, she entertained the notion that maybe someone other than herself, John, and Jane survived. Maybe Jade teleported herself out to safety. That was somewhat likely. Maybe Roxy dodged the rocks. That was less likely, but still possible, although the possibility that Roxy had been trapped and had died of suffocation was equally viable. Dave ... Dave probably didn't make it, with his broken leg and all. And Dirk had been barely able to get out of bed. And Jake had surely survived, but they couldn't go back to the Imperial City to see him, nor could they send him a message that was anything short of extremely coded and encrypted. Jade would have had the technological know-how to do that, but none of the three of them did. As it was, the fate of the other five members of her friends and family lay shrowded in shadow.

Light could pierce that shadow, though.

Rose glanced almost furtively back at the tent. No, no one was stirring; it was just her and the wide, empty world. If she were to be honest with herself, she would admit that the fact that she had to check to make sure she was alone—hiding from her friends—should indicate that this was a bad idea, but... since when had Rose Lalonde ever been honest with herself, truly?

And she hated not knowing things, even if after how close she'd come to falling again, she was terrified of Seeing. But surely she could hold herself together and look anyway. John and Jane were being paranoid, nothing would happen.

So she closed her eyes and opened the inner ones, letting out a deep breath.

Focus, clear your mind...

One breath in. Hold it. Imagine a vast, empty field, extending everywhere, waiting to be filled. Breathe out.

It was sort of like leaving her body and drifting up and up and away, but instead of the physical world she saw a realm of memories and things yet to come. At the top of it was the thing hardest to reach but most valuable to the Seer, and at the bottom—well, let's just say she didn't want to go to the bottom. She should search through the visions and sights here, to see if she could find the ones she was looking for, the ones that would show her what happened to her friends. She had to hurry, though; staying too long would mean she would be even more tired.

A flicker of fear reared its head in the back of her mind. The bottom of the figurative globe, waiting to be explored, was a place that terrified her, because it grabbed you and dragged you down and held you there amid the curses and pain and absolute agony of lost magic that should never be found, and she never ever wanted to go back down there again after the first time or how close she'd come last time and—

The darkness that stemmed from down there grew, just enough to be ominous and frightening.

Rose had forgotten that they fed on fear.

Stay calm, she told herself. Breathe. Remember to breathe.

Oh, these were the basics of training every seer received! She should never have come here, not in the middle of the night while she felt all alone and frightened—what kind of idiot was she! She was a Light mage! Why was she Seeing at night?

Yes, whispered a sibilant, cold voice. You were wrong before, but you are right now. Come... we can help you.

No, no no no, no no no no no no—not this, not this not this never this again!

You are afraid of your own power, little Seer. We are ancient,we have been here for long, long ages. Trust us. We know the right path. We can help you see it.

No! She refused to give in to this ever again. She gave in once before, when she was innocent and small and hurting, but this—this is what had broken that sweet girl, this is what twisted her and destroyed her and left what Rose was now, and she would never, ever go back. Where—where was the Light? If she could reorient herself in the darkness, find the brightness of her own magic before it was snuffed out by these things, she could be okay, she could find her way home.

Little one, why do you seek to leave? Do you not wish to know what became of your ... friends?

She froze.

"What can you tell me?"

Every bit of her was screaming that this was a bad idea, a bad idea, a terrible idea—but she had to know. Were they alive? This might be her only chance. After all, she knew she would not be attempting a trance again anytime soon. Maybe if she'd done this at dawn, when her own power was strongest, she could have been alright, could have actually done what she'd come here to do, but... in the middle of the night, it was not her best idea.

Come closer, the voice hissed triumphantly. Come closer, and I will tell you.

Rose did not budge. "You will tell me, and then you will leave me alone."

Oh, so imperious! What followed might have been a chuckle, but it was hideous and terrifying, a sound that she was sure would haunt her nightmares. It was probably good that these horrific beings were always surrounded by darkness, because looking upon one might scar her forever. At least one is not dead. More than that, I will not tell you. What have I to gain?

"The satisfaction of philanthropic decency?" she suggested, already starting to withdraw. If she could get away from it, back to her own mind, away from this collective insight, she would be safe to digest the information she'd just received.

So terribly amusing, too... what a nice pet you make, child. Stay awhile longer, like last time. Yes, just like last time...

This time, it sent a vision at her, a vision of last time, a vision of darkness and pain and horror and grief and black, black rage, of tears and sorrow and terror and not being Rose anymore, of becoming like them—

Rose jerked and screamed.

In a matter of seconds, there were pounding footsteps and panicked voices nearby, but she didn't really register any of it, frozen in horror and fear with her heart beating faster and faster against her ribs.

"Rose!"

There were tears on her face and someone was touching her, there were hands on her shoulders and her back and why was anyone here, no no no stop stop let her go she needed to run away from it all—

"Rose! Stop! Rose, stop it!"

"Let me go! No! Please!" she sobbed, gasping for breath and struggling with all her might. Everything was still dark and she didn't understand and she needed to flee!

The hands went away. "Rose, look at me."

Her nails dug into her palms, but something in her wasn't letting her get up. She stared at the ground as another sob tore its way from her throat.

"Look at me."

She turned her head, slowly, slowly... oh. Oh. Oh, no... no, she was safe now. That was John and Jane. John and Jane being there meant she wasn't there, she was in her own body and her own mind and she was safe. John was the one who had been trying to hold her, sitting on his

"What happened?" Jane asked, her eyes wide and her face full of concern. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, I know what happened," John said, frowning. "She tried a trance again, I bet. Rose, what were you thinking? Wait—no, don't answer that. I'm sorry. C'mere." He held out his arms, and she let herself fall against him, shaking. "Hey... you're safe, it's okay. We've got you, don't cry..."

"Rose..." Jane came forward, too, kneeling and placing a hand on her shoulder supportively. "Rose, it's alright! Please don't cry."

"I'm—I'm fine," she muttered. Both John and Jane made similar sounds of derision.

"Oh, please," Jane said, as John retorted "And my grandmother's a watermelon!"

"A watermelon?" Rose echoed, startled into a smile for a moment, though it faded quickly. "Why a watermelon?"

John seemed almost sheepish. "I, uh, was going to say 'a terrible cook', but that seemed wrong on a lot of levels. Especially because she's sitting right there, you know?"

"I'm not a watermelon," Jane said, coming back to the original topic and shaking her head. "And you aren't fine. Come on, Rose! We've been through this. Don't pretend we can't see you right now!"

Rose let out a deep, shaky breath. There were stars up there, and the moons, each of them giving off light in the dark sky. She wasn't alone, and she was safe. "I'm not fine," she finally said. "But I'm going to be."

"Yes, you are," John agreed. "Did... you know. Did something happen?"

"I ran," she said simply. "Something tried to happen, but I ran away. But it gave me a bad vision as I was trying to leave."

Jane looked a bit clueless. Rose made a mental note to fill her in later, when she was in a better frame of mind.

"Why did you do it?" John sighed, the question as rhetorical as they come. He leaned his cheek against her temple, and she felt herself relaxing a little, the tension and terror that had gripped her a few moments past starting to drain away. "You shouldn't have. You need to take care of yourself!"

"I was curious, I had to know," she explained, her voice tremulous. She tried her best to harden it, to make it steady and okay. "I had to know."

"Had to know what?"

Had to know, had to know, she had to know about the rest of them, about whether she was totally useless, about so many things—

"Enough!"

That was Jane's voice. Rose blinked, pulled from the thoughts that were slowly starting to come back in a terrifying little trickle, to see the other girl shaking her head.

"Let her rest, John, she's not alright and she's scared out of her mind! We can talk about this in the morning. I'll take the rest of her watch, you both go back to bed!" She pointed at the tent—the small, stiflingly dark tent.

"No," Rose sat up, her eyes wide. "I can't—don't make me go in there right now. Please. I'll just... I'll just stay out here with you."

Jane softened. "Okay. Just a tic." She darted back to the tent and emerged with a blanket, which she gently draped over Rose, and then she plopped down next to her and John, reaching over to wrap her arms around Rose. "John, at least you should get some rest..."

"I'll go in a little bit," he said, looking down at Rose softly. "But I'm gonna stay with you for a few minutes first, okay?"

She pulled the blanket around herself a little more warmly. "Okay," she said. They spent the next few minutes all curled up together in one comforting pile, until Rose finally found herself feeling back to normal again. In the morning they would deal with this, but for now, she would just rest.


AN: Wow. I didn't think I'd finish this today but hey, it happened! Two updates in a month is good, right? :P

The whole horrorterror/grimdark thing is so fun to write and explore. Later we might be seeing a lot more of "what is magic and how does it work anyway", so here's a little sneak peek of that sort of thing, I guess. (The horrorterrors are the drawback of being a Seer. Everything comes with a price!)

I would once again apologize for long waits between chapters, but I think you've grown to understand that I'm a dinosaur. Oh well.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Reviews motivate me to write a little faster ;n;