AHA! So you thought that last chapter was the last one? No. :) I had fun writing this chapter. And this chapter's the end for real, I really mean it this time. :) So, I hope you like it, have a great Thanksgiving! And I'm sorry if you guys didn't like that last chapter, with Hiccup being alive and all that. I know I didn't give much of an explanation, except for the fact Hiccup was unconscious temporarily. Enjoy!
CHAPTER 50: NOT THE END YET
"Hey, guys, check this out!" said Hiccup to the others one day. He walked into the Great Hall carrying a tray of small cups. He sat down at the table next to Astrid and passed them out.
"What are these?" said Astrid, taking one.
"Something new I've been working on," said Hiccup.
"It's not yaknog, is it?" said Snotlout.
"Far from it," said Hiccup. He shuddered at the memory of that "tasty" beverage (if you could even call it that) Astrid had whipped up for Snoggletog. It wasn't an experience Snotlout or Hiccup wanted repeated. They were the only victims...I mean, people who had tasted Astrid's drink. And they regretted ever doing so.
Astrid took a sip of it, first expecting it to taste like burnt bacon, and then nodding when it actually tasted good. "This is actually really great," she said. "What is it?"
By now, everyone else had tried theirs, and were all nodding. Astrid swished some of the liquid around in her cup and took another sip. It was thick, sugary, something...what was it called?
"I don't have a name for it yet," said Hiccup, shrugging. "Your yaknog from before kind of gave me the idea."
"So, how about this is the new version of Yaknog?" said Snotlout. "It's better."
Astrid shot him a look, and then turned back to Hiccup.
"Yeah, but we should change the name," he said.
"Oh, wait, I got it!" said Tuffnut. "Eggnog."
"Eggnog?" Astrid frowned. "It'll never catch on."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," said Hiccup.
They sat in silence, until Astrid finally spoke again.
"I still don't understand," said Astrid.
"What do you mean?" Hiccup replied.
"I thought you were dead," she said. "Dead. In my arms. How were you not dead?"
Hiccup shrugged. "You know, I've hit my head harder than that before and lived," he said. "Maybe I had just blacked out, or something, I don't know. He didn't hit me that hard. Did you even check to see if I was breathing?"
"Um...Astrid?" said Snotlout.
"I guess I was afraid to," said Astrid.
"Oooooooh," said Tuffnut.
"Stop it," said Astrid. "I was afraid you'd be dead."
"Uh-huh," said Hiccup. "You know what they say."
"What do they say?" said Astrid.
"Curiosity killed the viking," said Hiccup.
"What does that have to do with anything?" said Snotlout. "I have one. What did one wall say to the other wall?"
"This joke is old and well used?" Hiccup guessed lamely with an eye roll.
"No," said Snotlout. "It said, 'I'll meet you at the corner!'"
"Oh, that's nothing," said Astrid. "I've got a better one. What do you call a fly that doesn't have wings?"
"No idea," said Fishlegs.
"A walk!" said Astrid.
"Hardy har har," said Hiccup. "Okay, I've got one. What did the red dragon say to the blue dragon?"
"What?" said Tuffnut.
"'Breathe, darn it, breathe!" Hiccup replied.
The others laughed.
"All in favor or turning this into a joke war!" said Astrid.
"So it's a competition!" said Snotlout.
"Exactly," said Astrid.
"Oooh boy," said Hiccup. "Normally I reject the idea of such antics, but this time, you're on, Astrid. So on. Joke to the death."
"I've got one!" said Fishlegs. "Why'd the cookie go to the doctor's?"
"I'm going to regret every second of this," said Hiccup to Astrid.
"Because he felt crummy!" said Fishlegs.
"What did the guard saw to his stomach?" said Ruffnut.
"What?" said Snotlout.
"'I've got you under a vest!'" Ruffnut replied. Snotlout lost it. He fell off his chair he was laughing so hard.
"Why did the cookie cry?" said Fishlegs.
"Again with the cookie jokes?" Tuffnut asked. "And why did he cry?"
"Because his mother was a wafer so long!" Fishlegs replied.
"I've got one," said Tuffnut. "What did the shoe maker say when a dragon wandered into his shop?"
"What?" said Astrid.
"'Shoe!'" said Tuffnut.
"My turn," said Snotlout. "What's brown and sticky?"
"What?" said Fishlegs and Ruffnut in unison.
"A stick!" Snotlout replied.
"That was weird, and it's my turn," said Hiccup. "What do you call a fish with no eyes?"
"What?" said Astrid.
"A Fsssh," said Hiccup.
Astrid laughed. "MY TURN!" she said. "Did you hear about the dragon who drank a pint of gravy while laughing the whole time?"
"No," said Hiccup. "Did he choke?"
"No," said Astrid. "He was the laughing stock!"
"This...means war," said Hiccup. "While riding a dragon, a magician turned into a plaza."
Silence.
"Wait a minute," said Snotlout. "If the magician...what?"
Then, they all broke out laughing.
"FINE, it's MY TURN," said Fishlegs. "What do you do with a sick boat?"
"Do I really want to know?" said Astrid.
"Ya take it to the doc!" said Fishlegs.
"I've got one," said Hiccup. "What do you call someone who doesn't remember how they lost their limb?"
"What?" said Astrid.
"Stumped," said Hiccup. He cracked a smile, as did the others once they got the joke.
"Okay, I've got another one!" said Snotlout. "What's the Screaming Death's favorite number?"
"I can see where this is going," said Hiccup. "What's the Screaming Death's favorite number, Snotlout?"
"Ate!" said Snotlout.
"My turn," said Astrid. "What is the ideal name for a man with a rubber toe?"
"I haven't the slightest idea," said Fishlegs.
"Roberto!" said Astrid.
"I have one," said Ruffnut. "What did one helmet say to the the other helmet?"
"What?" said Tuffnut.
"'You stay here, I'll go on a head!'" Ruffnut answered.
"I've got one," said Hiccup. "What's the difference between stupidity, and laziness?"
"I don't know, what?" said Astrid.
"'I don't know' and 'I don't care,'" said Hiccup.
The others laughed.
"Oh, what did the archer say when he dropped his aamo?" said Snotlout.
"I don't know," said Astrid.
"'Aww, shoot!'" said Snotlout.
They all laughed.
"Oh, that reminds me," said Hiccup. "Come on, I want to show you all something."
He stood up, followed by the others. They ran out of the Great Hall and to the forge.
"You know that Mangler thing I was working on?" said Hiccup, running inside, the others remaining outside.
"Yeah," said Astrid, slightly suspiciously. "What about it?"
"Well, I finished it!" Hiccup announced, pushing his new "Mangler" out of the forge. It looked remarkably like the old one, only a better build. "Here we are, "The Mangler B, #91. I wanted to try it out with the rest of you guys."
"Sure!" the others chorused.
"When do we try it out?" asked Astrid.
"How about right now?" said Hiccup. He pulled the trigger, releasing the bola shooter. It set itself up, and then Hiccup grabbed the trigger that fired the mechanism.
"Here goes nothing," said Hiccup. He pulled the trigger, and then watched as a bola fired from it.
"YES!" the others shouted. "It worked!"
"YES!" said Hiccup. "Perfect!"
Astrid grinned, and then smirked. Hiccup turned to her and frowned.
"What are you looking at?" he said.
Astrid put on a confused face as she tried to find the right words for what she was thinking. "I don't know, you just have this...dramatic flair," she said.
Hiccup smiled. "Well, I've got no idea where I get it from," he said. "You wanna try to fire it?"
"Me?" said Astrid. Hiccup nodded. "You bet!" She put her hand around the trigger, but just before she fired it, Hiccup stopped her.
"Hang on!" he said. "I have an idea. Wait here." He ran back inside the forge, and then came back out with different colored ribbons. He picked a blue one, and then tied it to Astrid's bola. "Whichever one gets farther," said Hiccup.
"Hey yeah!" said Astrid. "A competition!"
"I usually don't say this," said Hiccup, "but yes, a competition."
Astrid grinned, and then pulled the trigger. The bola sailed over the trees, and then disappeared.
Snotlout whistled.
"Nice," said Hiccup. "Snotlout, you're up." He gave Snotlout a red ribbon, tied it to the bola, and then allowed his cousin to fire it. It didn't go nearly as far as Astrid's, because they saw it hit the ground.
"Buuuurn," said Tuffnut.
"Fine, your turn," said Snotlout, stepping away. Tuffnut got a dark green ribbon tied t his bola. He fired it, yanking the trigger harder than he should have. The bola went about twenty feet before hitting the ground.
"Who's burned now?" said Snotlout.
"Ruffnut, you're up," said Hiccup, changing the subject. Ruffnut got a light green ribbon, and then fired the bola. It sailed, hitting a tree in the middle. Then, Hiccup tied a black ribbon to his bola, and fired it. It went as Astrid's did; they didn't see it hit the ground.
"Well, we'll go out tomorrow and check it out," said Hiccup. "When it's bright."
...
When they checked the next day, Hiccup's bola went the farthest. Of course, Snotlout put up a fight about how Hiccup designed "The Mangler", so Hiccup just decided to drop out to avoid any other problems. Astrid came next, followed by Ruffnut, then Snotlout, and then Tuffnut.
And, of course, the twins went fighting about their bolas.
"I had the light green one!" said Tuffnut. "You got the dark green!"
"You're just saying that!" said Ruffnut. "I obviously got the light green!"
"No you didn't, because you got the dark green!" said Tuffnut.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
"DID TOO!"
Hiccup approached Astrid, watching the twins yell at each other.
"Well, it's great to have everything back to normal," he said.
And it really was.
THE END FOR REAL THIS TIME
