Chapter 43: Christian
Channeling the prowl of a predator dead-locked on its prey, I draw closer to Elena where she is leaning up against the wall of the hall right outside the ballroom, a flute of champagne in hand, a big smug smile on her face.
"Start talking. Now!" My timbre is violent and wild.
This was worse than stabbing me in the back. She had bypassed that and gone straight for the jugular.
Elena folds an arm underneath the other, swirling the sparkling liquid in her glass.
"You're upset." Her lips purse at her sarcastic, unapologetic tone.
"I'm fucking furious!"
"I would be quieter if I were you."
"Elena," I warn, but she just watches me with seething contempt.
A beat passes and she takes into account I'm not in the mood to engage with her frivolous behavior. Rolling her eyes, she says, "I did what I had to. I pierced the veil."
She's truly lost her goddamn mind.
"Did it ever occurred to you that you've risked both our careers with this? That you screwed us all?"
"On the contrary," she takes a strawberry off the platter from a server who ambles by. "I just screwed her."
Moving with cold precision, I get in her space, crowding her, intimating her with my height and size, hoping it's enough to squeeze the information I desire rather than laying a hand on her.
Because if I do… I might just fucking break her in half.
"What makes you believe she won't go to the dean? The authorities?"
"That was a possibility. Sure," her shoulders bump carelessly. "but then I realized I had immunity." Elena loops my tie between her manicured fingers and pulls me down to her level. "We both do."
"What makes you so sure?" If murder wasn't illegal and I didn't have hundreds of witnesses to testify against me, she'd be dead on the floor right now.
"Because," her lips brush mine as she whispers. "She's in love with you."
I feel the soft flesh of her mouth tilt up before she leans back and lifts the rim of her glass so it kisses her bottom lip. Glaring, she chides, "And you just had to go and screw everything up by falling in love with her too," then tips the flute back, draining of what's left in her mouth.
I grab her by the arm. "You could've left us alone. You could've taken what I'd given you and made do. But you just wouldn't let up, could you?"
"Do you remember what I told you when we started this?"
"You said, 'You better hold up your end of the bargain'."
"Have you? Now? Dare I say ever?"
I scoff, taken aback by her truculence.
Her brows curve with a knowing look that reads that's what I thought.
"To answer your question, perhaps I foresaw our work was a lost cause."
"Did you come to that conclusion before or after you shit on everything we've worked for?"
My question hangs in silence.
She swivels on her feet and turns her back on me.
Then, a dramatic sigh punches through the intensity wedged between us.
"Does it even matter?"
Coming up behind her, I reach for the area above her elbow and bear down. "You don't get it, do you? Or is it that you and your stone cold heart don't care to?" I flex my grip and I feel the humerus of her upper arm. "We destroyed her life! What happened to saving people like her?" I chastise but she flaunts an annoyed wave of her hand.
She spins and laughs, her bitterness thick. "You thought that was what this was? All this time you thought you were trying to save her; that the light inside of her you thought was there could chase out the darkness in you. But that part will never change. See, darkness is attracted to darkness. And instead of letting nature run its course, you fought it and ended up self-destructing and the most important thing in your life. The only person to blame here is you, Christian. You did this to yourself. You did this to her."
My arm shoots out like an arrow, the entire span of my hand collapsing around her neck. By her ruthless glare that cuts right through me, I know it's the exact reaction she wanted.
"This could have been avoided...Instead of listening to me...you let your transgressions get the best of you," she gasps between words. "I see the way you look at me. Disbelief mars your face because you want to believe so badly that I'm not this monster. Well, sorry to disappoint. I've accepted who I am. You can't point the finger at me anymore, Christian. No more ranting and raving about the monster I am, when it's you—but you don't need me to tell you what you deep down already know."
No. No. No.
She's to blame. She orchestrated the sting; schemed, manipulated, deceived, pumped Ana with half-truths…
Haven't I been doing the same this whole time?
Fuck!
I don't have time for this shit.
I shove her back. Face reddened, her breaths coming out in harsh coughs, her hand reaches up to her throat and probes the sore area. At her cold, hard stare, I step away and head for the corridor I know will get me the fuck out of here.
Maybe Ana hasn't gotten too far...
"Christian let it go. She's a lost cause." Elena demands. "She nothing but-"
I stop in the threshold, digging my heels in the floor before slowly spinning around to face her. I eat up the distance so quick her expression slips of confidence. I lift my chin, daring her to continue with her insult. And as predicted she pinches her lips shut.
Her head shakes and I know it's of disapproval like she doesn't know what to do with me.
I am biting the hand that fed me.
A mentor's greatest fear is anyone under their tutelage turning against them.
It's the ultimate betrayal.
And not one cell in me gives a damn.
Who was after Mia's death was because of her.
I was wild.
Took my anger out on people with my fists.
I lacked fear because I had nothing in my life of value.
Who am today… that's because of Ana.
I'm wild with passion.
Optimism has out scaled pessimism.
I'm burdened with the fear of losing the things and people I cherish the most.
Purpose. My life is full of it...
If I don't let it—her slip through the cracks.
My gaze, one that I hope puts the fear of God into her, doesn't leave her face until I circle back and cross the floor towards the exit once more.
Not even a strides width sway and she chides, "I misjudged."
Looking over my shoulder, I arch a brow.
"Me? I know."
"No, her." Her tone sharpens. "From the beginning she had you wrapped around her finger and I can't blame you for that. You weren't equipped to see it coming. No amount of calculated moves or strategy would have prevented this outcome. You didn't stand a chance."
"No, I didn't." The words leave me at last moment before I break from her sight.
There is no weight in my gut that pulls me down because it's the absolute truth.
