The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, Eddy n Edna?... without Grim
By Winter Knight
Chapter 52: "ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES!"
With Apologies to "Four Square Productions" but still that movie and it's 3 sequels rocked! And the tv show too!
Note: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy nor "that Grim show"… but the original characters are mine... Especially "The Fourth Ed"!
I told you Grim Eds will continue! Also
Bad News everyone, my laptop is down so I have no choice but to put the fanfic on hiatus. I haven't worked on this for a long time because I was very busy with stuff going on and because working with "Ed, Edd, n Eddy Zombies" was really fun. I still accept submittions of chapters from you fans, be sure to write! I've been using my dad's laptop to write stories and this is a sample of how I will continue the story until I get access to my laptop again. However I'll have to return the Laptop to my dad on friday so when this happens, then my fanfics will be on hiatus.
Yes this chapter was inspired by the movie and show of the same name! Also I'm watching it right now so I can get some ideas... Also Katherine the kitten is watching it with me, she was even trying to strike a tomato on the TV. I plan to parody "Filmation's Ghostbusters" in a future chapter though...but should Grim portray "Prime Evil?"
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During the previous chapters:
Most of the characters went their seperate ways during summer vacation and it leaves the Eds alone to continue scamming... until they met Edna...
of course May Kanker, Kasumi Kimono, Jeff the Spider, and Celeste the fairy are still here to keep those knuckleheads out of trouble... but tell that to Lee and Marie Kanker as well as that strange girl with the lunchbox!
After Double D and Jeff dealt with a army of monster arachnids and a evil red cat that is leading them, Nazz, her kitten, and Nergal Junior appeared out of the blue and saved them just in time.
our story continues...
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Rolf was busy with his crop, getting ready for the annual "Peach Creek Load O' Bullcrop" Festival, it's where compeditors ready themselves for the judging of their crops...and the special guest judge of the year is Alfred E. Kahn (Yes I know he's a adult but I don't consider him human anyway). Rolf puts on his "fallout" suit and pulls out his secret ingrediant, a vat of special medicine from his country, Rolf then pulls out his fresh batch of Tomatoes. Rolf then takes off his helmet and says "Ah Yes, Nano's secret forumla will guarantee to make my tomatoes grow bigger and plumpier than Choji Akimichi, good night my fruits, may you be bigger and plumpier than Choji Akimichi, yes? Hallo Goodbye!"
After Rolf went back to the house to sleep, something went HORRIBLY WRONG with the tomatoes as they suddenly grow demonic faces... and hunger for human flesh...
Joining us for singing the theme song...here is Ed!
Ed then sings the theme song to this chapter:
"Attack of
the killer tomatoes! Attack of the killer tomatoes!
They'll beat
you, bash you, squish you, mash you
Chew you up for brunch and
finish you off for dinner or lunch!
They're marching down the
halls - They're crawling up the walls
They're gooey, gushy,
squishy, mushy - Rotten to the core
They're standing outside your
door!
Remember Herman Farbage while taking
out his garbage
He turned around and he did see tomatoes hiding in
his tree
Now he's just a memory!
I know I'm going to miss her -
a tomato ate my sister (Sarah: no they didn't!)
Sacramento fell
today - They're marching into San Jose
Tomatoes are on their way!
The Mayor is on Vacation,
The Governor's fled the nation!
The police have gone on strike today, the national guard has run away
Tomatoes will have their day!
Attack of the
killer tomatoes! Attack of the killer tomatoes!
They'll beat you,
bash you, squish you, mash you
Chew you up for brunch and finish
you off for dinner or lunch!
munch munch, dinner or lunch! munch munch, dinner or lunch!"
The Next Day...
Ed and Kasumi are making lunches for the trip today and Eddy miracuously healed from his injuries from the last chapter. Ed then notices a tomato coming out of the sink and then he picks it up and throws it at Eddy. Eddy then asks Ed, "Hey monobrow! What's the idea of throwing a fanged tomato at me?" Ed then says "I thought it was a water balloon!" Kasumi then says "Oh hi Eddy! I see you recovered somehow...want some juice?" Eddy then sees a glass of tomato juice in front of him and then Eddy (disliking tomato juice) dumps it on the sink saying "MMM...that is some good tomato juice, yum yum!" Double D then arrives at the door with Celeste and Edna. Edna then taps at Double D's shoulders and says "Umm Double D, is that May being attacked by a BLT sandwich? Double D seems shocked by this and then notices that Celeste's eyes are glowing. Edna then says "Hmm... I guess my tarot cards were right, we're gonna be attacked by a demon-possessed sandwich..." And without hesitating, Edna pulls out a toothpick and she stabs the sandwich to the ground, sticking it right into it.
May then says "One minute I got the sandwich through my "Sandwich of the month club" and then it turns out I must have gotten a "Broodwich" by mistake!" Double D then says "Well if it Celeste's eyes glow then that means a evil supernatural something is going on...TAROT CARDS!!!" Edna then says "Yes, my decendants are gypsies who specialize in telling fortunes through cards, contacting spirits through Ouija boards, reading palms, and seeing visions through crystal balls... sorry if I didn't tell you, I thought it might scare you but since you tell me you're friends with the Grim Reaper then I have no problem. Double D then says "Intreguing! I guess "the fourth Ed" does have special talents!" May then says "Yeah, I mean Double D's smart, "Big Ed"'s strong, Eddy's...Eddy! But now you seem to have skills involving fortune telling, I guess that evens things up!" Double D then says "Don't forget that Kasumi's a good cook, nurse, and help, Celeste is our cute mascot and evil detector, and May...you're..." Edna interrupts saying "You're a tough, strong, Kanker with a heart, yet it doesn't keep you down!" May is in tears and says "Wow! I guess becoming friends with you guys was the best thing I've ever done ever since I helped that melonheaded kid with that daywalker."
Eddy opens the door and says "Sorry for interrupting the Hallmark moment but we got a festival to go to! Hey Lumpy! get out our tools for our latest scam! Kasumi are ya gonna join us?" Kasumi then says "Sorry but I'm entering the festival with my homemade Vegetable rolls, try some, I made extras!" May, Celeste, and the four Eds tried some and Ed says "TASTE LIKE JAPAN!" Eddy then says "What's the secret?" Kasumi then winks at Eddy and says "If I told you then it wouldn't be a secret!"
As the gang go to the festival, they see a ambulance speeding past them and then Edna says "If adults can't be seen in this town, then who's driving that ambulance?"
AT THE FESTIVAL
Kasumi readies her vegetables while the four Eds and May help her set up the stand. The stand reads "Kimono Sister's Victorious Veggie Rolls... our family secret!"
Across from the stand, a tall, red, evil looking anthropodmorphic cat in a tomato hat opened his stand "Katz's Krunchy Katzup". Katz then sees Kasumi and he says "You there! I see you as a threat in me losing first place in the festival. I say, tear down that stand!" Kasumi then smiles and says "How cute! a cuddly kitty cat!" Kasumi then pets Katz and he says "HEY! GIRL! STOP THAT! IT DEGRADES ME!... a little lower on my ear...thank you...purrrrr..."
(Reminder for the readers, Kasumi seems to possess a strange ability to not be attacked by evil forces...I mean would you want to strike someone so innocent and cute?)
Double D then says "Nazz was right! That rapscallian would return and cause trouble for us...but as long as Kasumi has him occupied I guess we're safe..for now... I'm keeping my eye on him though!" May then asks, "Ummm... Double D, isn't Nazz and Junior gonna have a stand for Junior's dad's pizza business? And where did "Big Ed" and Eddy go?"
Eddy and Ed then set up a stand and they paint baseballs red in order to look like baseballs and toilet paper rolls yellow in order to look like corn, the stand reads "Farmir Eddy's Veggitable Medly (sic)". Ed then says "Umm Eddy, Edna says this scam isn't gonna work!" Eddy then says "Yeah right, it's not like that I made her my "scam consultant" for I'M THE SCAM CONSULTANT! So Shut up and help be sell these "veggi..." But then Eddy is suddenly attacked by Rolf who says "STICK IN MUD GREEDY ED BOY! WHERE ARE ROLF'S TOMATOES! ROLF KNOW IT BE YOU WHO STEAL THEM AND RESELL THEM LIKE HOW NO-NECK ED BOY KEEPS STEALING ROLF'S CHICKENS!" Ed then says "But Rolf I only want a pet chicken!" Rolf then says "Rolf deal with you later, now Rolf deal with... (Rolf sees Eddy's fake tomatoes but he thinks they are real) ED-BOY! GIVE BACK ROLF HIS TOMATOES!!!" Eddy then says "Those are not even tomatoes...SOMEONE HELP ME!"
Edna then says "I guess Eddy must have sold someone one of his fake tomatoes." But then the group to their horror hears the following announcement on the radio...
"NEWSFLASH! LARGE TOMATOES HAVE SUDDENLY GAIN SENTENANCE AND STARTED ATTACKING PARTS OF PEACH CREEK! THEY EVEN APPEAR TO ATTACK THE FOLLOWING NEIGHBORING TOWNS...
CAMP KIDNEY!
(campers run out of the camp)
TOWNSVILLE!
(The original non-anime Powerpuff Girls fly away, and so do a few imaginary friends and some boy genius...not Jimmy Neutron!)
ENDSVILLE!
(Billy, Mandy, and the Red Guy run out of town)
AND LIVERMORE!
(the author leaves town through BART)
ACTUALLY WE MADE UP THE WHOLE THING ABOUT THE TOWNS BEING ATTACKED BUT THOSE RED FRUITS ARE STILL A MENACE...
EVEN THE MERE MENTION OF THE WORD IS SUFFICIANT TO INDUCE PANIC !
(The author is at the library, he looks to his left, and to his right, and while making a evil grin he just says the word "tomato" and then everyone in the Library start running around screaming as he sits there grinning)
THE LAST RECORDED ATTACK HAPPENED AT NERGAL PIZZA WHERE LOCAL GIRL NAZZ (last name unknown) WAS FOUND INJURED BUT STILL ALIVE...ALTHOUGH HER GOOD CLOTHES WERE SPLATTERED WITH TOMATO SAUCE, SHE WAS NOW TAKEN TO THE "LEONA HELMSLEY MEMORIAL HOSPITAL"...now who in the right might would name a hospital after that bi... WELL BE ON GUARD FOR ANY TOMATO ATTACKS! Now back to our local programing" And then the radio plays the hit song "Puberty Love"
Edna turns off the radio before the awful song plays but then they see what appears to be a blood-soaked Nergal Junior and he says "YOU ARE IN DANGER! RUN!" May then says "Junior! You're bleeding!" Nergal Junior then says "Actually I was covered in Tomato Sauce after we were attacked at my dad's pizza parlor, apparently, the tomatoes there seem angry at us for making pizza." Double D points at Katz and he says "Knowing what kind of evil he unleashed at the last chapter, he must be responcible for the Tomato invasion!" Edna, Double D, May Kanker, Celeste, and Nergal Junior surround Katz and then he says "If you honestly think I'm responcible for the Tomato attack then you must be paranoid, my plan this time is to shut down the Kimono stand and steal her secret recipe in order to win first place this time, not attack everyone with mutant tomatoes. Kasumi then says "Since you're such a cute lil kitty... my secret ingredient is "vinegar". Katz then says "VINEGAR!!!"
Then the group notices Rolf attacking Eddy and then Edna says "Umm Rolf, didn't you once babbled about making huge tomatoes for the festival?" Rolf then says "Four-eyed Ed...Girl? You be in part of stealing Rolf's tomatos yes?" Edna then says "Well let go of Eddy because...we found your tomatoes!" Rolf then cheers up and says "Oh were? "Smart Ed...girl?" Sorry Rolf used to Ed-boy but not Ed-girl yes? no? Hello? Goodbye!"
Meanwhile outside of the festival, the strange girl with the lunchbox is walking towards the festival thinking "Aha! Once I get there I will find someone who can open my lunchbox and then I will... umm that's strange, there appears to be a horde of demonic tomatoes heading to the festival...they aren't MY tomatoes... hey get away! NOOOOOOO!!!"
Back in the Festival, May shouts "LOOK!" Edna looks behind her and says "Like I said Rolf, We found your tomatoes all right!" Eddy then says "Whew what a relief, normally stuff like this is caused when I do something greedy but... (points at Rolf) YOU'RE IN TROUBLE! YOU'RE IN TROUBLE!" Rolf grabs Eddy and says "No you're in trouble! Rolf might be ignorant but Rolf knows that your corn is really toilet paper rolls and your tomatoes are painted baseballs! Rolf ate some!" Edna then says "ENOUGH ARGUING! WE GOT TO GET AWAY!"
Alfred E. Kahn then starts judging the vegetables while censoring the cucumbers due to their shape but then suddenly he was torn apart by the tomatoes and the tomato that ate his head dies from the poison from his brain (oh wait, he has no brains... it was replaced with rat droppings... have you seen the 4KIDS dub of One Piece lately?). The entire crowd, especially the Eds and a bunch of Kappas who have grown cucumbers cheered loudly and the tomatoes took a bow to the audience before they start attacking again.
The tomatoes approached the group but when a whole swarm got to Kasumi they turned around and avoided her...and headed towards Katz and attacked him! The Eds, Celeste, May, and Rolf are surrounded but then Celeste throws a baseball at the radio and then it plays the song "Puberty Love", the tomatoes then moan in pain but then one of them ate the radio and started chasing the group. Kasumi was wearing a cowgirl hat while a tomato is giving her a ride (Like I said, she is immune to being attacked by evil forces)
The Eds, Celeste, May, Rolf, and Junior are running from the swarm but then Eddy came up with a idea, Eddy tells everyone, I got a idea...I know something more inhuman than that awful song "Puberty Love"! It's..." Ed then interrupts him by saying "VOGON POETRY!" Double D then takes "The Book of Vogon Poetry from his hat and he says "OK EVERYONE! COVER YOUR EARS! He starts reading a passage from..."THE BOOK OF VOGON POETRY", stating "It worked in the last chapter"
(Warning: Yes I am evil (NOT!), so if you are one of the faint of heart, please do not read the following paragraph for it contains Vogon poetry, the 3rd worst poetry in the universe)
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly... thy micturations are to me!
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
groop I implore thee, My foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
(Ok, you can continue reading now!)
The Tomatoes roared in anger and one of the small ones jumped towards Double D's face and splattered and then a whole swarm of small tomatoes splattered against Double D while he says "So that's what it feels like to be a bad comedian, they still throw tomatoes at you!" Edna then says "It looks like those tomatoes are immune to music and Vogon Poetry, now what?"
Eddy then says "ANYWAY... my idea is this! I know something so horrible, something FAR MORE WORSE THAN VOGON POETRY!" May then says "Well what can be more worse than Vogon Poetry? Going on a date with Lee Kanker?" Lee Kanker and Marie Kanker suddenly show up out of nowhere as usual, disguised as tomatoes and Lee says "I HEARD THAT AND WE'RE GONNA KILL YOU FOR THAT!" The group suddenly burst into laughter at the two and then Marie says "Laugh it up! After we're gonna pound you, our new friends are gonna eat you!" Lee then says "Speaking of food...GOT ANY KETCHUP?"
The group's eyes are wide open after Lee made her boo-boo and then the tomatoes suddenly attack Lee and Marie Kanker...
Eddy then says "ANYWAY... GET OUT THE BIG SCREEN TV! I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THOSE FA...Double D then says "EDDY! Just because Tomatoes are fruits, doesn't mean you should use the three lettered F word!" Eddy then says "Fig?" Double D then says "Not quite but still if my plan didn't work then I guess it's up to you!" Eddy then grins evily...
The Eds, May and Junior get a big screen TV and then the tomatoes stop at their tracks. Eddy, dressed up as a pilot complete with a open parachute, then puts on a Video Tape and then he says "LADIES AND FRUITS, MAY I PRESENT...4 HOURS OF 4KIDS TV...MEANING EPISODES OF "ONE PIECE", "MAGICAL DOREMI", "BRATZ", AND "PRETTY CU... (Ed whispers to Eddy that 4KIDS never dubbed "Pretty Cure") Umm ENJOY!" And then suddenly the tomatoes started to explode and shrink to normal size. A giant tomato eats Eddy's parachute and shallows Eddy in one gulp but then Eddy pulls on it's root from the inside and it explodes, Eddy is then covered in tomatoe sauce and he says "Aww man, my brother's gonna be mad that his funny "Wilbur Finletter" costume got dirty...who is that Finletter guy anyway? Eddy also sees Ed dressed as "the lone ranger" and Double D in a diving outfit. Edna, in a gynmasium suit says "Umm if I didn't know any better I think we're cosplaying as "The Tomato Task Force"... I still can't believe Eddy saved the day!"
Edna continues "Umm why is Ed spazzing out?" Double D then says "It appears that accidentally saw parts of the "One Piece" dub and it seems to have a "VIDEODROME" like side-effect." Ed then sees a slit-like opening appearing in his stomach, and his hand merges with a gun to form a literal "handgun", he then shouts "DEATH TO 4KIDS LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH!!!" Eddy sees Ed hallucinating, saying "Man, he's tweaking!"
The tomatoes exploded one by one while the others kept stomping on the ones what shrank and then Kasumi walks to the Eds and says "Aw poo... my tomato bursted while watching the badly dubbed anime...but I won first place though! Sorry Katz!" Katz is covered in tomato sauce and says "Ummm... meow? This is very degrating!" Edna goes up to Rolf and says "Ok, Rolf, what did you do that resulted in the tomatoes becoming man eating monsters?" Rolf then says "Family secret (everyone stares at him angerly except for Kasumi) Ok, it was MSG... But Rolf has no idea the tomatoes would turn demonic." Edna then says "Who cares, we got to check on Nazz"
As the group go to the hospital they see Nazz screaming as a blind Killer Tomato is about to attack her (he must be blind because he didn't see the episodes of "One Piece"...plus he's wearing sunglasses and holding a cane) Junior wanted to attack the tomato but... can you honestly attack anything that is seeing impaired? So Edna pulls out a MP3 player and puts earbuds on the tomato, making it shrink and it got squished by Junior. Edna then says "It's the english theme to "One Piece" not even a tomato can tolerate it!"
Nazz then says "Well those monsters got what was coming to them! Thanks for saving me Edna!" Edna then says "No problem Nazz, once you get better, we have to hang out, just me, you, May, Sarah and that cute boyfriend of yours. That is if Eddy isn't scamming." Double D then says "Umm Rolf...what ever happened to your batch of MSG?" Rolf then replies "Well Nano wanted to use it for his section of the garden smart Ed-boy..."
Meanwhile at Rolf's house, Rolf's nano's carrots rise from the ground, and one of them tells the other two in a chipmunk like voice "Alright you guys, they're gone now!"
THE END...?
NEXT TIME: I have no idea for a next chapter but I am accepting submissions for chapters!
