First of all, this is important. My current theme song for the Doctor is a song called Stories I Tell by Toad the Wet Sprocket, which is a completely underrated band. Go look it up on Youtube if you haven't heard it. Seriously, amazing. Okay, moving on. Secondly, this is the last of the post-France angstathon. HUZZAH! That's not to say that Rose and the Doctor will be happy go lucky from here on out, and France might still be mentioned later, but this is the final part of this particular smack upside the Doctor's head.

Also, as always, thank you so much to the people who have favorite/followed this story, and especially to those who are leaving reviews. If I haven't personally replied (I know I've missed some), I'm sorry, but I do read them and love them all; thank you all so very, very much.

oOoOo

The Doctor leaned back in his desk chair, rubbing his fingers over his eyes beneath his specs before taking them off and putting them in his pocket. He'd been making notes on the adventure in the parallel world in his journal, but his thoughts kept coming back to Rose in ways that…were not fit for journaling. And although this was often the case, this was less out of being a dirty old man that completely staggered amazement.

She had been scared. She had been completely petrified the whole time they were there. Strangely enough, her terror in the face of the Cybermen only made her seem stronger, because she was still the one who had walked in through the front doors, and from what he understood, apart from the mild panic attack he'd found her in the grips of, Pete had been the one to lose his cool on the floor, not her. And even afterwards…she still hadn't fallen apart. She was always alright.

The argument from a week ago played in his head again, as it had been at odd moments since it happened. Every time it rang through him again, he felt a little more terrible. And it wasn't the usual guilt that came with the conviction that he was a monster because of the destruction he left in his wake. No, that seemed like wailing self-indulgence compared to this. This was an uncomfortable self-awareness born of the knowledge that she was completely right. How many people had travelled with him only to be manipulated, abused, or abandoned when their wants or desires hadn't matched his? He had long ago retreated into his own ego to protect himself, first from those who would persecute him for challenging their myopic ideologies, then from those who were temporary, deluding himself into thinking that because he was more powerful than them, he somehow had a right to dictate their lives.

He hadn't been searching for truth when he'd met Rose. He hadn't been searching for anything other than an escape from his past. Then he'd met her, and he wanted someone around, someone to show off to, someone to provide him a buffer between himself and his pain. But then she'd broken him down, piece by piece, and listened to his transgressions and his triumphs alike. Then…she'd shown herself to be stronger than she had any right to be. She'd taken the Time Vortex into her own head and not only survived, but bent it to her will. She'd locked herself off and protected herself from a psychic attack that should have compressed her to death. Add that to the fact that she never seemed to back down from anything, be it Dalek Emperor, Queen Victoria, or even a furious Time Lord. And while the thought nagged at him that she shouldn't, in all reality, be able to do any of that…she still did, all the time.

He used to be kinder to her…he knew that. But then came the GameStation. Then came New Earth. Then came Sarah Jane and everything she represented. Then Reinette, and the broken time window, and Rose stranded and abandoned. And in the midst of all of that, came the clinks and clunks of his armor falling to pieces around him. In his fear of his growing feelings for her, he'd discounted her own power, because the more powerful she was, the harder it was to keep himself from her. So he'd slapped her down, showed her without even thinking about it that between him and her, he would always come first. He'd tried to manipulate her and control her, because it was second nature to do so whenever anyone started to get close.

He'd never expected someone to say no. He'd never expected that anyone would actually attempt to stand up to him and take him down a peg. He'd certainly never expected to wonder if that might be a good thing.

She had taken his view of his life and turned it on its side, so that everything was still the same, but from a complete different angle. The things he'd seen as sins didn't haunt him quite as much…and the things he'd justified for so long suddenly seemed every sort of wrong.

And the worst part, the part that broke him…was that she'd done it all out of love. More than once, people had tried to show him some wicked part of himself as an attempt to hurt him, and he could brush it off sometime later based on the logic that the truth had been twisted by madmen. For someone to do that and still love him was…unique. He had no defense against that.

Somewhere along the line, between the battles and wars, between the many losses and burdens both real and perceived, he had gotten bent and twisted, and in doing so, had badly hurt people without even stopping to think about it, including the first person he'd really loved in longer than he could remember. He'd never really had to deal with the consequences of his actions in his personal relationships. He'd always run and never looked back. Now for the second time in a few weeks, he was faced with a living, breathing consequence. And this was so much more critical, because he couldn't run from this one. He couldn't run from Rose.

"DOCTOR!"

He was up and sprinting for the door before the scream had even faded. He darted across the hall to Rose's room, banging on her door as he yelled her name. The only response he got was another scream, so he cursed and burst through the door.

"NO! TAKE ME BACK!" she screamed as she thrashed in her bed. "TAKE ME BACK!"

"Rose!" he yelled, running to the bed and attempting to still her. "Rose, you're alright! You're safe!"

"NO! DOCTOR!" she screamed again. "Don't go…please…don't leave me here…"

To his horror, her screaming petered out into a desperate, pleading sob.

"Rose," he said, his hand on her cheek. "Sweetheart, I'm right here. Rose, please wake up. You're alright. I'm right here, you're safe now."

Her eyes finally opened, and he was stunned at the terror and pain in her eyes. She stared up at him for a moment, then launched herself at him, her arms fastening around his neck. He held her tightly, and could feel the hammering of her heart as she gasped for breath in his arms. It shocked him to see her this vulnerable.

"It was a dream, Rose," he said softly, stroking her hair. "Just a dream. You're alright. I'm right here."

"I just…I was just…so alone…" she said, and then she was crying. "Everyone…everyone left me. Everyone was gone. I was so alone."

He rocked her gently as she sobbed against his chest. As she clung to him, it hit him how remarkably one-sided their relationship really was. He'd known since he met her that she had nightmares—though certainly not to this caliber—but she hadn't offered any information, and he hadn't really bothered to investigate. She was so strong, all the time, that it never really occurred to him that she might need him for things other than saving her from catastrophe that she inevitably wandered into when they were out exploring, and certainly not that she might need him as much as he needed her.

He really was…thick. Or blind. Probably both. Either way…things needed to change. If she was bent on sticking around for the moment, he couldn't keep pushing her away when it suited him. No matter how much safer he might be maintaining emotional distance, she deserved more from him.

It was several more minutes before Rose's tears finally slowed, then stopped. She laid quietly against him for another minute after that, weak from the emotional storm. He made no move to stop her.

"Your shirt is soaked," she said eventually. "Sorry."

He glanced down and made a dismissive noise. "It'll dry. Although…glad I'd already taken off my jacket. Salty tears are murder on fine wool," he added with a grin.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said, rolling her eyes. Then she seemed to realize that she was still sitting on his lap, cradled in his arms. "Um…Doctor?"

"Right," he said, moving her gently to the side. "This calls for tea."

She smiled weakly and let him pull her up and lead her to the kitchen. It struck him again how bizarre of a twist it was for him to be making tea while she shook off the remnants of a nightmare. Something was definitely wrong about the way she was constantly taking care of him without him even realizing that she might need help.

"We need to talk," he said quietly as he put her tea in front of her and took the seat next to her. She stiffened, eyes widening. "No…don't…don't do that. It's not like that." He ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath in a whoosh. "I…no, you know what, before I get into that. Do you want to tell me what your dream was about?"

"I…well, I told you," she said, her eyes taking on some of that haunted quality from before. "Everyone was gone. I got…taken from you. And then everyone else got taken from me. And I was alone."

"And that's what scares you most," he said softly, his mind thrown back to Platform One. "Being left alone…and leaving people behind…oh, Rose…"

"It's not…new," she said with a small shrug. "Just…worse."

"Because of the parallel world?" he asked softly. She nodded. "Why this one? Why was this one so much harder on you? Because of Pete?"

She shrugged, slumping in her seat again. "He was my dad, Doctor. He might not know it, but he was. Being there…it was…everything I always thought I wanted, and everything I can never have, even before the Cybermen showed up. And then…all the destruction, all those deaths, just for one man's pride and selfish search for immortality. It was just—" she stopped, drawing a shuddering breath and shaking her head. "There's just so much senseless pain in the universe to fight against, you know?"

He did know. He sat stunned, staring at her. It wasn't so much the words as the fact that they were so achingly familiar. He'd thought them so many times. Now, her words from earlier came back to him with a completely different spin…she'd said she was always alright. At first, he'd almost thought she was mocking him. But no…she really had said it for the same reason he did. Which meant that she was as far from alright as she could possibly be, but didn't think there was anything that could change it.

She was starting to sound like him. No, not starting to. She'd been sounding like him for a long time. And while that wrenched at him, it bolstered his resolve to fix the situation. She had made him feel less alone than he had in his entire life…he couldn't let her continue to believe that she was alone instead.

"I'm sorry that it…happened…the way it did," he said slowly. "And Mickey?"

"Mickey needed that place," she said. "And it needs him. More than I do."

He nodded. She had said as much to Jackie as well when they'd gone to visit. He just had to be sure before he launched into anything else. He shifted uncomfortably for a moment, unsure exactly how to shift the conversation to what he needed to talk to her about, and realizing there really wasn't a way other than simply jumping into it.

"Rose...about that argument last week…" He took a deep breath, and scrubbed a hand over his face. "I need to apologize to you for…well, quite a lot really. You were right. I have spent…a very long time assuming control over the destinies of others, making their decisions for them, assuming in my own arrogance that I knew what was right for everyone. I have lived…incredibly selfishly, and because I spend so much of my time fighting other people's battles, I somehow decided that made it alright. I've held myself above the people around me, the people who cared about me, ignoring their needs and feelings and imposing my will on them, because it was easy, and they were temporary. So many people have seen me as the genius who could save everyone, and they could bottle away the pain I inflicted on them simply because of that. Having a personal relationship in which I'm actually held accountable for my actions is…unheard of."

He paused, collecting his thoughts again. He chanced a look at her to see her watching him curiously. Her large eyes still didn't hold judgment—but she wasn't arguing with him either.

"I haven't been fair to you," he continued after a moment. "I've hurt you in a million tiny ways since we met, partially because…well, that's what I do, and partly out of fear of how I…how close we've gotten. I don't want to hurt you anymore, Rose. And I don't want to lose you. You've given me…oh, so much more than you know, more than I can explain and far more than I deserve. And I'm sorry that I haven't given you more in return. I can't tell you how sorry I am for all the ways that I've taken away your faith and trust in me. But I really do want to fix that. There's a lot of things I can't guarantee…but there's two things that I can promise you. The first isn't new: while I'm still breathing, while there's still a way, I will always come for you. I may have tainted that promise some, but there it is. The second…" he hesitated. Just by promising this, he was relinquishing reins he had held for so long. But this was the girl who had burned her own mind not because he'd told her to, or for the success of a plan, but simply because she wanted to save him. He owed her something. "The second is that I will never send you away again."

Her jaw dropped. "No matter what?" she hazarded, suspicious.

"No matter what," he confirmed. "That's not to say I won't suggest you leave if it's really dangerous, and that doesn't mean you need to be completely cavalier about your own safety or the safety of others. But I'll never send you against your will, and I'll never lie to you. You deserve…well, a lot more than that, really, but it's a start."

"Yeah…it's a start," she said, a smile creeping onto her lips. "So you really won't try to trick me into going home or anything again?"

"No," he said, then forced out a chuckle. "What would be the point? You're so stubborn, you'd probably rip apart Time itself if that's what it took to get what you wanted."

"Count on it," she said fervently, and he really did laugh. He sighed and ran his hands over his face before crossing his arms and leaning back, his legs stretching out under the table.

"You know, Rose," he said, "you're really ruining my image as some sort of lonely god."

"Is that so bad?" she asked, her head tilting to the side.

"Nah," he said. "I make a really bad god."

"I dunno…you'd make a decent god of arrogance," she said, and he looked up sharply to see her teasing grin back in place.

"Mm…maybe," he said slowly. "Still, could be worse." She arched an eyebrow at him, and he grinned. "At least I'm foxy," he said with a wink and a click of his tongue.

She burst out laughing, and he delighted in the sound. The tension he'd felt between them for weeks finally started breaking down, and he was finally able to breathe. It astounded him how not feeling close to her could completely disrupt his life. With a groan, he stood and pulled her up into his arms for a tight hug.

"Are you feeling better, Rose?" he asked, pulling away to press a hand to her cheek. "About your dream?" She nodded as she pressed against his hand a little. As he looked down at her, very different sort of tension came about between them. One that wasn't altogether unpleasant, but, regardless of his new ability to display some of his affection for her, hadn't been around this perceptibly since before they had gone to that school.

The tingle in the air spelled danger for the Time Lord, but as he leaned in and kissed Rose, he didn't care. With all the other dangers they faced in their lives, this was one he didn't mind so much anymore.

"You should…really get some more sleep," he said breathlessly against her lips after several minutes.

"Can you come with me?" she asked. His eyebrows flew up and he let out an incredibly unmanly squeak, making her giggle. "Not like that. Just to stay with me…just til I fall asleep. Please?"

He looked down at her for a moment, hesitating. Holding her in her bed while she slept was so outside what he would normally allow it wasn't even a consideration, but not really so much with her. He sighed and nodded, taking her hand before leading her back to her bedroom. She crawled into bed while he toed off his chucks before joining her. He pulled the covers over both of them before wrapping his arms around her. She cuddled into him, and he breathed in her scent, one that he'd always found intoxicating. He pressed his lips against her hair, his fingers once again tracing ancient designs of impossible things on her back as she drifted off. He stayed long after she fell asleep, telling himself he didn't want her waking up from another nightmare alone. But, as his eyes drooped, he admitted he didn't want to wake up alone either…and he was never as comfortable as when she was in his arms.

The TARDIS sang soothing songs to both her precious passengers, who slept peacefully for the first time in weeks, wrapped in each other's arms.