A/N: A couple of people have brought up the fact that I haven't really let on a lot about the war against Voldemort in this story. While that's true – I've kept the Dark activity to a whisper thus far – I promise, there is going to be a larger focus on the war in upcoming chapters. I have not forgotten about that aspect of the story. I've just been biding my time until I brought that up in full, heavy force. So…trust me. It's coming. Much sooner than you think, actually. I just want to keep its entrance a surprise.

And, by the way, epic thanks to Niki for helping me come up with evil April Fool's Day pranks. My brain doesn't work like that, but hers does – which is awesome for me. Thanks, as ever, for knowing what to do when I don't, darling.

Otherwise, this chapter is really long and more fluff-tastic fun (say it with me: blegh) and you should enjoy it. Next chapter is a bit of filler, then we head into tragic waters. Yay!

Go on, then, and I hope this all works out for you.

--

April 1

9:05 AM
Status: Slightly nervous

Happy April Fool's Day!

That's the first thing Alice said to me this morning when she came to wake me up. It's the mantra that's been haunting my head for the time I've been awake thus far, as I got dressed, cautiously had breakfast, and came here to Charms.

Happy April Fool's Day.

Truly, I have every reason to be nervous.

Firstly, there is the tail-end of Operation MIUTJFFHB, which is the birthday party Sirius and I are planning for James. It's taking place tonight, thanks to Sirius's record-breaking planning skills: the Gryffindors have been informed and also sworn to secrecy, the food has been secretly retrieved and stored in the boy's dorm, all the drinks and fireworks and goodness-knows-what in place. The Marauders and I are set to go; but I, being me, am absolutely positive something will go wrong.

Sirius has been great – he took care of almost everything – and my only job is to lure James to the common room tonight, but I can't help it. I'm paranoid by experience.

Secondly, well…come on. It's April Fool's Day. This has been the Marauders' favorite holiday for as long as I've known them, even more than Christmas or Halloween. This is the day they wait for scrupulously every year, because it's the one day in the year where they can happily play all the pranks they want and nobody minds as much.

Over the years, we have had near catastrophes occur on April Fool's Day that were happily traced back to the Marauders and their unquenchable thirst for trouble.

I think I smell the need for a year-by-year history of the Marauders' Greatest April Fool's Day Hits to enhance the point I've been making, so…

The Marauders' Greatest April Fool's Day Hits
A list compiled by: Lily Evans

Year 1

First year was on the quieter side, seeing as the Marauders were not yet the tight-knit group they would soon be. Back then, it was just Sirius and James, and they decided to keep it on the simple: they hid under an Invisibility Cloak and ran around the corridors tripping people, hexing them, tugging on their robes or throwing Dungbombs at them. These early antics were very silly, very immature, and very unprofessional – but little did we know they would be further refined in future years.

Year 2

This year, Remus and Peter were fortunate enough to make the cut as Sirius and James' New Best Friends and played accomplice to their latest harebrained ideas. Being as House-oriented then as now, their pranks zoomed in a little more on the Slytherins this time. Somehow, someway, they managed to get their hands on the shampoo of the Slytherins in our year and switched with temporary hair-removal potion from Zonko's. Needless to say, there were many angry (and bald) Slytherins walking around all day and the Marauders were cheerfully awarded detention for their antics. They took it with honors.

Year 3

By now, the Marauders had already established themselves as legends. Therefore, there were many copy-cats walking around, trying to do the things they'd been doing in the previous years and attempting to upgrade them. Dismayed at the apparent copyright infringement, the boys decided to take a different approach this year – they cross-dressed. Borrowing clothes and make-up from Sirius's then-girlfriend, Jennifer Hartley, the four boys walked around looking like four girls. It garnered too many laughs throughout the day and I, already scornful of them, complained liberally that they could get away with such idiotic tricks. Even Professor McGonagall had a small and rare chuckle during class when she saw it. Where was the justice?

Year 4

Out of all the countless pranks the Marauders have played in their time at Hogwarts, their fourth-year April Fool's Day prank was likely the maddest and most dangerous they had devised. The school walked into breakfast, unsure of what to expect of our insane Marauders this time, and all was well for about half the period. However, at that half-way point, the Marauders leapt out of their seats like trained ninja warriors and put their wands to the temples of clearly pre-selected hostages. It was like a Muggle hold-up on television – certainly all the Muggleborns were intrigued/a little frightened.

The teachers, sitting at the High Table, immediately called for order, but the Marauders were relentless. Sirius and James took the hostages – and the teachers – on a high-speed chase throughout the school, protected by a Shield Charm and putting various hexes on their victims. Meanwhile, Peter and Remus put off a great deal of Fireworks – a small fortune's worth from Zonko's – and the student body was torn between watching James and Sirius fly around the roof of the castle with their hostages or enjoying the fireworks display. Either way, you got to witness mass mayhem. No classes could be held for two periods – that's how long it took to finally corner the Marauders, award them detention for every weekend until the end of the year, and get the school back in order.

Among the witnesses, this was hands-down our favorite April Fool's Day joke. (But ask the Slytherins and you may get a slightly different response.)

Year 5

After what happened last year, much of the school (particularly the Slytherins) was suspicious walking into breakfast this year, unsure of what to expect, but nothing happened. The boys were cheerfully eating breakfast as usual, like any other day. The morning passed by in a suspicious kind of calm, with everyone jumpy and watching at corners for some Marauder to do something insane. No such insanity came to pass, though…until lunch.

During lunch, students may, if they are finished eating, sit in the library and do homework. No one thought anything of them as they trooped off in clumps to the library, books in their arms, and lunch continued. However, somewhere in the middle of the period, a little first-year ready to faint with horror, interrupted McGonagall as she ate her steak-and-kidney pie and made her come with him to the library. Our interest piqued, we who were well-acquainted with the Marauders' April Fool's fetish followed along after her.

The library was mayhem. Animals – pigs, cows, chickens, lambs and the like – were wandering around the bookshelves, making a great deal of noise as Madam Pince furiously and vehemently threw hexes at them, screaming at them to get out of her precious library. The scared, tearful little first-year tried bitterly to explain that all he'd wanted to do was sit down, when all of a sudden, his chair turned into a hen and he fell to the floor.

It took her a while – somehow, the Marauders made the animals multiply by two if hit with common hexes – but McGonagall sorted out the situation and awarded the boys double-detention. Farm animals were all people talked about for days.

Year 6

I will never, ever know how – unless I asked James, which I never will out of concern for my fragile sanity – but Sirius somehow got someone to send him a cage full of doxies during breakfast in the Great Hall last year. These he and the rest of his gang set all over the school while we were innocently eating breakfast – and all hell broke loose. The doxies Sirius got were particularly frisky and the teachers (to the amusement of the students) spent much of the morning shrieking and attempting to tame the doxies enough to get rid of them. The trauma is self-explanatory.

Is it any wonder that I'm nervous? Wish me luck today…I think I'm going to need it…

1:05 PM
Status: In disbelief

Okay…so you know how I said I was nervous and I needed all the luck I could get in order to get through today?

Well, my paranoid self was on to something – because I had every reason to be on my guard this afternoon.

And now, in the comfortable lull of History of Magic, I wish to explain.

The trouble started at lunch last period.

As ever, the school filed into the Great Hall very nervous. It was the same at breakfast, but when everything was quiet there, our nervous anxiety zeroed in on lunchtime. Alice and I were conjecturing what could possibly go wrong this year – if there would even be a prank, because James is Head Boy and everything – and we honestly weren't sure what to expect.

The way we saw it – i.e. I saw it – there were two options: one, that James was too mature to indulge in petty, childish misdeeds and he would call the operation off, or two, he was so tired of being mature that he would indulge in hugely petty, childish misdeeds to gain some freedom. It really could go either way.

But, as I'm writing about it now with a tone of considerable horror, it's fairly easy to deduce that the latter option turned out to be the reality.

We were safe for quite some time in the beginning of the period. The Marauders had timed it perfectly, staging the trick a little past the half-way mark of our lunch hour to avoid suspicion. Everyone was talking and eating merrily, not thinking about the Marauders and possible trouble, and that made the element of surprise all the more potent.

I was actually finishing up my third helping of steak-and-kidney pie, complaining to Alice about the Herbology homework I had yet to complete for tomorrow, when I heard the fateful cry that started the mayhem:

"FOOD FIGHT!"

Heads looked up, confused and on their guard, when Sirius – who had screamed the signal – picked up an enormous helping of the exact steak-and-kidney pie I'd visited two minutes before and hit it with a jet of light from his wand. At once, the whole thing exploded, sending dollops of steak-and-kidney pie all over the students like heavy, disgusting rain.

And, just like in previous years, this was the cue for all hell to break loose.

Following Sirius's example, the other three Marauders exploded a couple of dishes and then contended themselves with throwing handfuls of food at those closest to them. Somehow, a large amount of lunch ended up on Slytherin backs, and they only redoubled their efforts, making more of a mess than before.

Of course, the teachers were outraged and trying to take order, but the Marauders knew that would happen. Mimicking their hostage idea from fourth year, Slytherin hostages drenched with food were quickly snatched up and taken on another high-speed chase through the Hogwarts corridors. Peter and Sirius were in charge of this, leaving Remus and James in the Great Hall, completely covered in slop and egging the students on.

I, personally, was being pelted by goodness-knows-what from all directions and I felt horrible. There was slimy stuff in my hair and my robes were filthy. Alice was cackling in my ear from beside me and she pushed me, making me slip and fall on my bum, even dirtier than before.

In short, I was dazed, mucky, and in utter disbelief – as referenced in my above status. And I was having a major ethics moment.

See, in times of strife (such as then) it is my job as Head Girl to help the teachers and take charge. And normally, I would do that. But I wasn't sure if I should, because it kind of was a fun break from the monotony of the day. We never do anything as exciting as food fights. Plus, I mean, it's April Fool's – did anyone expect any different?

But at the same time, come off it. The Head Boy, who was supposed to be helping me, was throwing flagons of pumpkin juice at Slytherins and laughing away about it, not in the least bit sorry. His lackeys were running around the school with hostages. It was trouble to the tenth degree and it wasn't right. I should do my job.

But still…it was so damn funny.

Sighing and ducking my head as something went flying over it, I waded through the mess to find James. It wasn't easy – everyone looked the same, all covered in crap – but I did eventually spot him giving Remus a high-five, laughing his head off. Shouting his name and hoping I'd be heard above the din, I attempted to get to him without falling and he saw me – and caught me, just before I promptly fell down.

"Hey," he said, squeezing my hand as he got me to balance on my feet. "So do you love what we've done this year?"

"All Sirius's idea," said Remus, coughing and grinning at me.

"Yes, but I think it's time to put it to a stop," I said gently. "I mean, yeah, this is cute and extremely funny, but…you and me, we're Heads. We're supposed to be stopping all this, not adding to it."

James's happy face fell a little at this, as I knew it would.

"But…Lils, it's April Fool's," he said uncertainly.

"And I'm not going anti-fun Nazi on your arse, am I?" I gave him the most beseeching look I could with bits of food in my eyelashes. "C'mon. You've had your fun. Now let's call it off. Okay?"

"Sirius would not approve," commented Remus.

"I didn't think you would, either," I pointed out. "Aren't you the ethical one in this group?"

Remus shrugged. "Trust me. This was better than the other stuff Sirius had suggested. I went with the lesser of the…five evils."

I smirked at him, but turned on the charm for James, who was clearly struggling.

"C'mon," I repeated softly, touching his arm. "Call Peter and Sirius back and help me clean this up."

James sighed, still squirming and not meeting my eye, but at least he relented.

"Fine," he said reluctantly. "Moony, will you be a dear and get the others back?"

"Sure thing," said Remus, scooting off to do so.

"You're going to be the death of me, Lily Evans," James informed me, taking my hand and walking me carefully to the High Table.

I giggled. "Sorry," I said.

"Now you call them off, I can't bear to see all my hard work wasted," he proclaimed dramatically, averting his face from me. I gave him a little shove in the arm and cleared my throat.

"Hey, hey Hogwarts?" I asked tentatively, waving my arm in the air to get their attention. "Hey?"

No one paid me any attention.

"Look, I'm no good at this," I pleaded. "They're not going to listen to me. Can you do it?"

"Yes, they'll listen to you," James assured me. "Now stop being such a pussy-cat, Lils. You can do this."

"No I can't," I said.

"Well, then why are you Head Girl?" James shook his head. "C'mon. Command attention. Be assertive. You can do this, I know you can."

I chewed on my lip, toying with the idea of just letting this all go on without a care in the world, but then I decided not to.

"Hey!" I called a little louder. "Will everyone please settle down now? The food fight's over, we're through…"

But, again, no one listened to me. They were all too busy hitting each other with today's lunch.

I opened my mouth to tell James this was stupid – it was his prank, he ought to finish it – but he wordlessly squeezed my wrist and I knew he wanted me to do this myself. He wasn't going to help me. If I wanted to do what I knew was right, I had to take charge.

So, my stomach turning over in my abdominal area, I gathered together my wits, pulled my wand out of my pocket, and I hit the ceiling with a very loud Stunning Spell.

"Will everyone please calm down now?" I requested as loud as I could without feeling like an idiot (which, maybe, wasn't all that loud).

But whatever it was, it did the trick – because all of a sudden, the food-throwing stopped, the students turned their heads towards me, and the vast hall was silent. The collective attention was finally on me and I felt frozen. Perfect. But I swallowed hard and begged my throat to please thaw out and not bail on me.

"Erm…so…this has all been a very amusing April Fool's Day joke, courtesy of Potter and his friends," I said, giving James a nudge. "But now, I'd like us to please get our acts together and clean this up. Wands out now – the teachers and the hostages will be back any minute and I'd like this hall cleaned by the time that comes to pass."

To my very great astonishment, I met with very little resistance on this request. At once, there were students whipping out their wands and putting things away, the messy patches of food on the floor magically cleared and sparkling once more. Older students who knew how to fix robes and hair walked around and did so. James and I quickly cleaned each other up and watched their progress, pleased with their willingness. Even James was as impressed as I.

"See, Lils, you did it," he said, putting his arm around my shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "You took charge. And they listened."

"It was your bloody prank," I reminded him dryly.

"Yeah, but it was your bloody leadership." His tone matched mine, but his eyes twinkled with mischief. "Nice work."

"Thanks," I said.

He opened his mouth to say something more, but it was at this moment that the teachers, headed by Professor McGonagall, stormed back into the hall. She, in particular, seemed surprised at the neat, orderly sight before her, but she didn't say anything on the subject. I retreated back to the Gryffindor table and the four Marauders, in sight of the entire school, stood before the High Table, waiting for their punishment.

Professor McGonagall, being their Head of House, was grimly happy to oblige this.

After giving them a stern talking-to about the merits of good behavior and denouncing their silly food fighting idea, she awarded them all double-detention and dismissed them to finish their lunch. James came to sit with me and Alice, barely holding back his laughter, and he hugged me.

"Happy now, love?" he inquired politely.

"Very," I said, giving him a light smack on the cheek.

"That was brilliant," Alice said admiringly. "You guys still have that mischievous streak in you, then?"

James and I exchanged looks and I gave him another affectionate smack.

"I think they'll always have it," I predicted. "Whether or not that's a good thing has yet to be decided."

At this point, we were all dismissed to our next class – for me, Alice and the Marauders, it's History of Magic – and now we're about five minutes from being dismissed from here too. Life has successfully gone on.

Thankfully, we have come out of yet another April Fool's Day unscathed. But I guess I shouldn't speak too soon – Sirius and I still have that party set for tonight and there's still plenty of room for trouble.

Only five more hours…

5:40 PM
Status: Fretful

Okay, so James's party is going to take place in a little over one hour and I'm freaking out.

I'm not really sure why, but I feel like I'm forgetting to do something very important. Alice insists that this restlessness is just proof that I'm going mad, that there's nothing to worry about, Lily, so please shut up now, but I can't.

I just checked with Sirius about the cake. It's here and set. Peter is putting in the candles and sprinkles. Remus is making sure the music and decorations are set up. Frank has been delegated the task of getting people into the common room by seven so that when James comes, everyone is there and ready to go. Alice (who was originally given this task by Remus) is bouncing around here, in my dormitory, and trying to figure out what she wants to wear. She's undecided between the pink shirt/jeans combo, or the blue dress.

Everyone's doing what they should be and they're relaxed, excited even. But me…I'm not.

Not only do I not know what I'm going to wear, but I still don't know how I'm going to lure James to the common room tonight. I mean, he's under the impression that it's a regular night and we're patrolling later – which we're not, because I've made Mavis and Jonathon cover for us – and I'm not sure how to bring him into the common room without ruining the surprise.

I'm quite gullible – I believed James when he said he needed a sweater on my birthday – but James isn't. He'll likely be onto me if I say something like that. So what am I supposed to do?

I've asked Alice to advise me on the matter. She says just ask him to come with me to the common room because I have to show him something. He won't suspect a thing because his birthday was on Monday and we promised not to do anything for his birthday anyway. But I want to do something more creative than that and Alice thinks I'm mad.

Possible Excuses to Get James to the Common Room

1. The Alice method – just ask him to come with me because I have to show him something. The issue – he'd figure it out and the party wouldn't be a surprise anymore.

2. Tell him there's a fire-breathing dragon endangering all the Gryffindors and we need him to come save us. Although, that's kind of unlikely, so I'm sure the result would be the same as the one for the Alice method – he'll find out.

3. Have someone tell him I'm dying and need him to come watch me take my last breaths in the common room. But this one's a little morbid – and it might give him a heart attack – so I likely wouldn't try this one.

4. Put out a trail of chocolate balls leading to the common room. But that's way too obvious – then he'll know something's up and he'll deduce it's a birthday party.

5. Ask him to—

You know what? This is absolutely ridiculous. I shouldn't have to sit here coming up with pathetic, useless ideas on my own. I'm going to make Alice help me. I want this party to be perfect, because James is a good guy and he deserves it. Part of that perfection is making sure this whole thing is a complete surprise. Alice needs to be part of this.

6:30 PM
Status: More fretful

Alice doesn't know how to lure him here and nor does she care. Her attention has turned now on getting me dressed for the party, something I haven't bothered to think about yet. As I write, she's going through my closet and complaining loudly (for the eight millionth time this year) about my lack of proper dress attire. She's swearing that she's going to take me shopping over the holidays, because this is ridiculous. And just plain sad.

She wants to give me the blue dress she decided not to wear. I have politely declined it, because he's low cut and quite short – it's not exactly my taste. She has rolled her eyes and is continuing to look. I'm still thinking about how to get James to come to the common room.

5. Ask him to sit with me in the common room and cuddle. He likes cuddling. He'd say yes…but I almost never sit down exclusively to cuddle and he'd likely figure me out. I'm like an open book, I swear. That wouldn't work.

6. Ask him to come do homework with me. But we could do that in the library, or our dorms, and we don't usually sit in the common room together in the afternoons. He's always with his friends and I'm with mine. It would strike him as odd and the whole secret would be blown, I'm sure of it.

7. Ask him to—

Yeah, I'm done. This is ridiculous. You know, I'm just going to do what Alice said – ask him straightforwardly to come with me to the common room without giving a reason – and if he figures it out, he figures it out.

Meanwhile, Alice has decided I'm going to be wearing her deep purple dress – the one I've secretly wished I was brave enough to wear, with the lacey ruffle around the fairly low neckline and the just-short-enough-to-make-me-slightly-nervous length – and I have no more say in the matter.

I think I'm going to oblige her on this one. It's a beautiful dress and the most viable choice out of all the clothes she has. And I've always wondered what I would look like in it. I guess I'd better go put it on before Alice has a proper hissy fit…

I'll write again once the party is over. Just wish me luck for the time being. I really hope it goes off okay.

10:45 PM
Status: Breathless

Right. So…I'm back in now, back in my dormitory, still wearing Alice's purple dress (now stained with butterbeer on the thigh), my hair mussed and my lungs full of something that's not oxygen. It's been a pretty insane night – and although I'm exhausted, more than ready to sleep, I think it's important to give the Operation MIUTJFFHB saga proper closure with a description of the party.

Because, in all honesty, I had a lot of fun and reliving it again, one more time, would actually be rather nice.

Our evening shenanigans began with me fetching James for the party. Alice made sure I was dressed and presentable in her purple dress – which, you know, did look quite good on me – and then banished me to find him. The Gryffindors should already be waiting. So we left my dormitory together and then split, Alice going to the common room directly and me going to find James. He told me earlier that he'd be in the library catching up on homework, so it wasn't exactly difficult to get a hold of him.

"Hi," I said, smiling as I approached his table and sat across from him.

"Hey," he said, smiling back. "What's with the sweater?"

I glanced down briefly at the sweater I was wearing. I actually had to double back to get it when I was coming out to fetch James, because I forgot, in all my brilliance, that if I walked in wearing a dress, he would suspect something for sure and I'd feel like an idiot. So I picked up my long black sweater – the one Alice hates because she thinks it looks like something out of my grandmother's closet – and covered up my outfit with it.

But he didn't have to know that. Yet.

"It's nothing," I said, fiddling with one of the buttons. "I'm just a bit cold. I get like that when the seasons transition."

"Oh, I see," said James with a shrug, flipping over his piece of parchment. "So what's going on?"

"Are you almost done?" I asked, gesturing to the parchment.

James snickered. "Not really," he said, "but if you've got a distraction, by all means, let me have it."

I grinned perhaps a little too widely for the occasion.

"That's good news," I said, "because I actually wanted to take you up to the common room. I want to show you something."

"What?" His interest was, as always, instantly piqued.

"It's a surprise," I said. "C'mon."

I got up and held my hand out to him. Without a moment's hesitation, James packed up his bag and followed me upstairs to the common room. I admired his ready earnestness to avoid work – a habit I'm quite guilty of – but I didn't tell him so. I didn't trust myself to say anything until we arrived at the portrait hole.

I let James say the password and the portrait opened slowly, giving him time to step inside at his leisure. I lingered a little behind him – and then, just as his eyes came up to take in the scene, the entire House screamed, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMES!"

I could literally feel him jump with surprise, but I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind and said in his ear, "I told you I had something to show you."

I let him go and he was instantly swallowed up by the crowd, by all his friends and particularly the Marauders, as they all clamored to wish him a belated happy birthday. James was understandably dazed – much like I had been – and it made me happy to see Sirius resurrect the stupid party hat from Monday and plop it on his friend's head. Everything was pretty much as perfect as I could've wanted it.

Alice and Frank found me, high-fived me for all our hard work, and we watched James make his way around the room, attempting to thank people and give them hugs and ask how long this had been planned. We were pleased with our work. I waited about two minutes, then hunted out Sirius.

"Is the music ready?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he said. "Completely ready to go."

"Well, first, let's embarrass him by making everyone sing," I said. "I haven't forgotten about the time you did that for me."

Sirius grinned. "Sure thing, Lily," he said genuinely. "C'mon. I'll give you the microphone and you can do it yourself."

"Great."

Sirius and I snaked our way through the crowd together, Sirius holding my hand to make sure I didn't get lost or knocked over on our journey, and we reached the music station impressively unscathed. Proudly, he handed me the microphone, and true to my word, I cleared my throat to get everyone's attention. James was milling about somewhere in the middle, being patted on the back by ten different people, and he was surprised to see me up there.

"Erm…hi," I said, waving sheepishly. "So, erm, thanks, all, for coming to the party tonight – very much appreciated – and for helping to embarrass the living hell out of James. That's always a treat."

There was a ripple of appreciative laughter at this and I blushed pink.

"Well, before I leave you be to snack and dance, I have one more request," I said. "Let's embarrass the birthday boy just a little bit more with a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday!'"

The Gryffindors – delighted at this proposition – immediately burst into song and James went very sweetly red at the attention. As this went on, Remus and Peter brought James the cake, complete with candles and everything, and Sirius stuffed his face into the first slice. James cleaned himself off with his wand and chased Sirius around the room, but by this point, I'd already put on the music and people were already dancing, the party happily going forth despite the immaturity of the Marauders. I got myself a celebratory butterbeer and talked to Alice on the fringes of the dancing crowd, content with just watching for now.

"Look at them," I said as James and Sirius passed us by, Sirius yelping like a high-strung puppy dog and James growling at him like an evil pug dog, not far behind. "They're such idiots."

"Well, one of them is your boyfriend," reasoned Alice. "So I guess that makes you an idiot by association."

"I never said I wasn't," I said, sipping my drink. "But I mean, look at this. We worked so hard to throw him a birthday party and all he can do is chase Sirius around – which he does all the time anyway."

As I said this, though, James finally caught Sirius and tackled him to the ground. The two of them began to wrestle, then, cheered on by their eager party guests, and I couldn't help but laugh. Alice, however, sighed and sipped her drink quite moodily, her eyes murky, and I was confused.

"Hey, you all right?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "It just…feels weird that we're all here, having a good time, and Livvy is still upstairs."

As she said this, the chill that usually accompanies any thoughts of Livvy settled in my stomach and I sighed too, my mood much flatter all of a sudden.

"You're right," I said. "It does feel weird."

Livvy's silent treatment – the one that started after my walk around the lake with James – has still been going very strong, even now. She's almost always alone, unless she's talking to Lissie Elmhurst and her crowd, and when Alice was recruiting people to come to tonight's party, Livvy flatly refused. She always hated parties, always, and now she had even less reason to go, because there's nothing worse than feeling alone at a party where everyone's with someone but you. I definitely know the feeling.

Livvy's been on my mind a lot the past few days, mostly because I see her so often in the day and I have ample time in which to consider what has happened to us. It's weird: some days, I'm angry and I want to shake her, scratch her, scream in her face and call her a bitch and make her look at me; and yet, other days, I am sad and tired, so sick of feeling bad, and I want to throw her halfway across the world, never to come here again.

Alice (in one of her psychoanalytic moods) reckons this is because we never got closure – we just yelled and then walked away – but I think it's more than that. I only wish I knew what.

Alice quickly changed the subject from Livvy to happier matters after she saw the look on my face, but the thought of Livvy by herself and forsaken by the people she thought she loved lingered in my head for much longer than I'd like. I tried to move along, tried to laugh and talk and tease like I had been before, but the constant thoughts of my ex-best friend kept sobering me. I hated thinking she was alone and miserable upstairs when we were all down here and having fun. It just felt wrong. I've spent too long worrying about Livvy to drop the habit in only three weeks.

Don't get me wrong, I still had a good time at the party. Frank and Alice were very gracious about sharing their dancing time with me, and I found a few other acquaintances I didn't really talk to outside of class, and I caught glimpses of James being accosted by all the people who cared about him, which made me glad we decided to throw him this party against his wishes. The music was fun and loud, and the snacks kept bringing me back from the dance floor like the siren's song, and I was happy.

But I was even happier when, later, James finally tapped me on the shoulder and gave me a tight hug, our first one since we came into the common room.

"Hey," he said from over my shoulder.

"Hi," I said.

"Sorry, I had a hard time getting people to leave me alone," he told me, leading me off the dance floor so we could talk properly without people constantly bumping into us.

"It's fine," I said. "There are side-effects to being popular."

"I know, but I wanted to thank you," he said genuinely. "Sirius told me that you were the one who approached him to get this whole thing set up. That was nice of you."

"I told you, I felt bad that I forgot about your birthday this year," I said. "I wanted to make it up to you."

"You didn't have to," he said.

"Yes, I did, or I'd feel guilty," I said. "You made a huge deal about my birthday."

James shrugged. "I still wouldn't have cared."

"I would've," I said.

"Well," he said, smiling at me and tucking some of my hair behind my ear, "like I said, thanks."

I was about to say something else, but at this very moment, the fast song that was playing ended, and instead of letting the next one play, Sirius changed it to a slower, more romantic song.

"It's couples time!" he said impishly, giving James and me a wink and a thumbs-up before bouncing away for some butterbeer.

James found this very funny – he snickered away as the crowd began to pair up and cuddle on the dance floor, revolving slowly and holding each other.

"My friends have the subtlety of blunt axes," he remarked.

"Well, aren't you going to ask me to dance?" I inquired, hands on my hips.

"If you want to," said James, blushing a little.

"Of course I do," I said. "Now go on, be a gentleman and take me to the dance floor. Put your sweaty hands on my luscious purple dress and whisper lovely nothings in my ear. I definitely want you to."

James laughed softly, but led me to the dance floor, his thumb rubbing the smooth underside of my wrist, his arms around my waist as mine went around his neck. The song playing was sweet, the dimmed lights creating an almost wistful environment, and I inexplicably thought of Livvy again. The sight of her thin, tired face in my mind's eye chilled me when I otherwise felt warm and happy, being hugged by James. I sighed and even by this solitary noise, he picked up on my mood.

"What's going on?" he asked me, stroking my hair.

Not bothering to cover up my newfound melancholy, I didn't hesitate. "Livvy," I said.

James couldn't hold back a small, derisive snort at this. "Why?" he asked. "She's not here."

"And that's the problem," I said. "She was my best friend. It still hurts a lot to think that she's unhappy while I'm so…well…happy."

"Lily, you have to remember that she acted terribly towards you," James reminded me. "I mean, it's not like this is your fault or anything – because it isn't. Olivia's the one in the wrong, not you."

"It's like Remus suddenly throwing a fit and walking away from you, not speaking to you anymore," I said. "It doesn't matter whose fault it is. You miss them and feel for them anyway."

James sighed, somewhat frustrated; and I longed to ask him what he was thinking about, but something told me not to interrupt his thought process. He'd tell me eventually, I knew. But when he did, I was still just the slightest bit startled.

"You know what, Lils?" he said in a surprisingly determined voice. "I have no patience for Olivia. I know she was your friend, and I respect that, but I'm sick and tired of her. Yes, you're hurt because of what she did. Yes, it's not nice to know that she's miserable. But you can't keep dwelling on her just because it stinks. You've got to stop worrying about ancillary things, things that can't be fixed, when you've got so much else going on right here, right now."

I was about to say something, defend myself, but he cut me off.

"You're both guilty of the same error – living in the past," he said. "She can't stop thinking about you, Russell, and Alice; you can't stop thinking about her. And that's not right. If you want to change something, do it. Change it. If not…then move on."

"It's not that simple," I muttered.

"Maybe it's not easy, but it is simple," said James in a slightly gentler tone. "You have to let her go."

I exhaled slowly, thickly, and put my cheek on his shoulder.

"I have a hard time with that," I said honestly. "Letting people in and then letting them go. I don't like change. I don't like opening up. I just want everything to be okay, that's all."

James's hand smoothly made its way up and down my back, firm and lovely and comforting, and he said, "It's not easy. No one ever said it would be. But you've got to do it, you know? You have to take in people who make you feel good and let go of the ones that make you feel bad. It's part of life."

"Not a part of life I'm good at. You can attest to my extreme slowness in trusting," I said wryly.

James didn't snicker, although I could tell he wanted to. "You were right to do that," he said. "You can't go flinging yourself around and hoping for the best. I found that out the hard way. You have to protect yourself. It's just a very fine line of how much to do so."

"Everything about…you and me, and us, is so new to me," I said. "I've never…been here before. I mean, technically, I have, and so have you, but it's still…different. Like, you're permanent in a way no one else was. If we were ever to break up, I know we'd still be good friends."

James blanched. "You're talking about breaking up on my birthday?"

"No!" I swatted him on the back of the head. "Of course not. I'm speaking hypothetically."

"Well, don't," he said. "The very idea of splitting up makes me want to break out in hives."

I chuckled, thinking back to the lists I'd written in this diary, when I'd contemplated telling him I was dying to get him to the common room. I was quite grateful that I had decided not to do that, if this was how he responded to me making an off-hand remark about breaking up.

"I don't know if I'd even be able to break up with you," I said. "It would feel so wrong. I mean, it really feels like we're on to something here, and it's building and building…like we're crashing into these unknown places I never knew I'd be able to explore. It's…kind of terrifying, honestly."

"I know what you mean," he responded. "I…don't always feel like this when I'm with someone. It's like flying without a broomstick – it's magical and liberating, but it could all go away, and you could crash down on your arse, completely incapacitated. And yet, you do it all anyway. It's insane."

"That's almost exactly how I felt the night I kissed you," I said shyly. "Like…I was going to crash down on my arse."

James laughed out loud, short and mirthful, and held me closer to him, warm and affectionate.

"Do you remember when you told me Petunia was getting married, and you were upset, and we were sitting together in the middle of patrol discussing the whole thing?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "Vividly."

Ignoring the sarcasm, he went on, "And do you remember when you said you thought she wasn't ready to take that step, and I told you maybe she was scared to death, but willing to take the big plunge with her husband at her side?"

"Yes," I said, softening a little.

"Well…I feel the same way," he said bravely. "You think you're the only one scared of how much this means to you, but you're not. I feel it too. I'm scared to death; but I want to do this. I want to…figure out where this could go. Even if it is a big plunge, I'm willing to take it if you'll do it with me."

At this moment, I could feel the bated breath, how we were waiting for the other person to make a move, to dictate the conclusion of this conversation. And I think it's a good time to mention that this was the first time we ever referenced our first kiss(es) the night of James's birthday.

I mean, I thought about it plenty – what it felt like, what it meant, what it could do for us in the future – but we had never really talked about it. That night, I didn't write about it, but I was nervous that reaching that milestone would make it okay for James to start kissing me casually, saying hello and then planting a big wet one on me just because.

However, tonight, as the knowledge of what we did and what we were came out in the open between us, I didn't feel so nervous anymore. I didn't feel like there was formality or weirdness between us. All I felt was the edge of a cliff I couldn't name, the wind swirling around me and waiting for me to either walk away or make the jump, despite the ambiguous nature of the bottom.

And at his words, at his earnestness, at his desire to brave out this strange new world with me, I decided that I did want to jump after all.

So I did. I jumped, both arms up and open, my face not looking at what was coming but up at the sky, and I pulled my boyfriend into me and I kissed him, hard and heavy and heady and perfect. We surrendered, holding each other close enough to feel the other's loud, frantic heartbeat against our own chests, and kissing.

Somewhere in my brain, I registered that the fast song had started up again, that people around us were jumping and whooping and even watching us kiss, utterly excited by the spectacle (never seen before in public) but it didn't really bother me. All that mattered to me was the fact that James made me happy – happier than anyone ever did – and for once, I wasn't tripping or sputtering or making a fool of myself. I was in the right place at the right time and everything fit into place. You'd be surprised by how seldom I feel that way.

After what felt like a couple of minutes, then, I gently broke the kiss and said, "C'mon. Let's do something a little more interesting than stand here playing tonsil hockey."

Snorting at my extremely tactful humor, he said, "Sure."

And so we did. We danced for what felt like years, until my feet were hurting and I was sweating and my body was screaming at me to please sit down now. I danced with James, I danced with Sirius, I danced with Remus, I danced with Peter, and I danced with Alice and Frank (who were unwilling to leave each other's side). We all had drinks and we all ate snacks and we all had an absolutely brilliant time, reveling in the company of our friends and the rhythm of the admirably danceable music Sirius had picked out. I wouldn't have exchanged it for the world.

Coming upstairs now, every part of me aching but buzzing with pure bliss, and lying here on my bed, thinking about it, I am too happy. There are people here who love and adore me, who want to see me smile, and James was right. I have to let Livvy go, because her misery shouldn't neutralize all of my joy. If she wants me in her life, she has to come to me, and vice versa. Wallowing isn't worth my energy. There is too much else to do, too many other people to invest my emotions in.

It's time to go to bed now, because I'm exhausted and there is not much else to say, but I will write again soon, I'm sure. The Easter holidays are coming up soon and I will get a chance to go home. Maybe James can come over and meet my parents. Maybe Alice can come over and we can lie around in my room and talk about nothing. Maybe I'll actually catch up on my sleep while I'm there.

I dunno. The only way to know is to leave this off, say good-night, and wake up tomorrow morning.

Until later, then.

--

A/N: Oh, by the way…

I've outlined the ending of this story (finally) and I'm decided on 71 chapters. It will take us to June 21st – Petunia's wedding – and I will go no farther. The way my outline is looking, I like the way that will end us off. I hope to finish this whole project off by February/March.

Weird as it is, we're heading for the home-stretch here. Things are going to wrap up pretty quickly once the drama unfolds in two chapters. I'm quite excited – I've never been here before.

And hey, thanks for a thousand reviews, guys – very epic awesome of you! Leave another one on your way out of the browser and let's see about getting another chapter up soon, hopefully.