Well, here we are again. That was a good hiatus; I may end up taking another one sometime soon. I've pulled up by a few chapters, but not that many.

Also, I guess I should make a formal announcement now: I've checked with an expert, and there is indeed a fatal flaw in this story's premise. I do regret that, but it's too late to do much about it; so, I apologize. I don't want to spoil the fun for you guys, so I'm not going into specifics, but if anyone would rather know what it is, PM me and I'll give you the full disclosure.

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Angel Star Ninja: Uh-oh. Do I gotta send the resuscitating kittens again? :P Thanks for the review! Hope you liked the action. :) Also, 'eyyyy, let the poor kiddo read what he wants. I think he's old enough to decide for himself whether he likes this kinda content. :P

Ahh, I remember The Giver! Was an interesting one.

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Ninja Pony: He's already in a lot of trouble, no doubt about it! But he might be in a little less once it turns out Junior is safe. XD As to "Backstage," sorry bruh, requests are closed. The other issue is, knowing whether a person is really asleep is a basic ninja skill, and there's probably nothing the guys could say behind Jay's back that they haven't already said to his face. :P They tend not to mince words with each other; it's a side effect of being family.

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TheAmberShadow: Yeah, it definitely did raise some questions. Goldmedalninja wrote an entire special review full of questions, and I can think of a ton more. :P

"What is Twilight?" Duuuuude. Heh, well; it's an extremely popular trilogy of books (and movies) about vampires and werewolves and this girl who wants to date both of them. While teen/tween girls often obsess over the series, other people use it as the end-all example of bad writing. I tried reading the first book once. It was okay, but really boring. IMHO.

I don't know what I was thinking though, broken glass freaks me the heck out. ^_^''

"Established." ^_^ You know, if you're on a computer, you can right-click the word and spellcheck will give you suggestions for how to fix it. :) Anyways, even if the bad guys did run the place, the ninja were still worried that the authorities might want them to pay for what they destroyed. So Zane was keeping a tab just in case. (And to be a troll, because he's like that. :P)

Haha, I wouldn't be surprised! Some girl-power organization is paying her every time she rescues the boys. XD

Right now, I'm sure Skales will just be happy to know his son is alive. :)

Oooh, interesting theory! We'll see.

Regarding "Backstage," thanks! Heh, the song just popped into my head one day, and I saved it up so I could use it in such a place. :)

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Elveron294: Wooooooohoooooooo! The Lloydfish documentary! Awesome, man. Nature red in tooth and claw, huh? And due diligence to the Lloydfish's furry habits! I love all the other kinds of aquatic creatures you have there. And "mewling angrily." I so want to see a mewling Lloydfish now. X3

Thanks so much for sharing the doc! Would it be okay for me to link it on my profile? :)

In other respects; I like how you say "yet." XD We'll see how long those suckers last.

Shy softies who eat people, huh? Ideal survival combination right there.

Better not give him cake, though, that activates his mighty Colewalrus powers. XD

Aww, I don't know that I'd go so far as to call it a phobia—anyone would be terrified to think that all their loved ones just forgot they existed. That'd be a really horrible life to live. Poor Colewalrus either way, yeah. He needs hugs.

Gracious. What's that guy doing in your closet? XD

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ShinyShiny Fan: No worries! Aw, well thanks. Cool, did you write anything on your old account?

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Monranr: Awesome! Hope you get a chance to see it soon. Cole was cute, but if you ask me, the special actually did more to make me love Jay. So that's a plus, eh? :)

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EmritTheSpirit: Aww, you're making me blush. That's very sweet of you to say! ^_^'' Yeah, I'd agree! Kai is like that; he talks a mean game, but he couldn't actually hurt anyone or ignore anyone in trouble. Haha, I'm sure he's done his share of being a mother hen too. Nya's sick of it. XD


Sept 16

2:44 PM

Patrol circuit: Coming soon!

Status conditions: Let's just say they look like they came out of a cow's throat and leave it at that.


"So sis, why didencha just come for us in the Bounty?" said Kai as they prepared to climb down into snake territory. "You didn't finish fixing it up while we were out?"

"Well . . . " Nya looked away. "Not entirely."

"Even having us out of the way doesn't help?" grinned Kai.

"I had other stuff going on," said Nya, feigning a huff. "Doctor Borg finally found time in his schedule to come over and look at the alien ship, so that took up almost a whole day. We had a hard time getting him out to the crash site, what with—y'know, the wheelchair—but he was really excited to see it. Ran a bunch of tests and everything."

"Awww, you got to spend a whole day with him?" Jay looked up from packing the aliens into their backpacks, sighing enviously.

"I got to video chat with Mindy some more, too," said Nya. "I think we're gonna be friends. She's . . . well, maybe a little airheaded, but nice. Oh, and on the first day, I took the engine and generator apart again. And I still didn't find anything wrong in there, but I guess I must have changed something when I put them back together, because our fuel usage is back to normal now!"

"Good news," said Cole. "That was getting expensive."

"And the rest of the time, I was checking if you guys had sent me any messages," said Nya. "And taking care of the falcon. And working a little on our spaceship blueprints, Jay. And staying out of Misako's way, because she had anxiety or something and went on a berserk cleaning kick."

"Aww, poor Mom . . . "

"So yeah," concluded Nya. "I was busy."

Kai chuckled.

"You didn't get any work done on the ship at all, did you?"

" . . . "

"I knew it!"

"Shush, you." Nya shook her fist playfully.

"Punch him Nya, he deserves it," offered Cole.

"What?! Hey!"

"Come on guys, let's go." Jay zipped Mopp into Zane's backpack, having obtained a promise from the alien to be quiet and good. Nya blinked at the backpacks, then looked back to Junior.

"Um," she said. But then she evidently decided not to say any more.

They found the manhole nearest the snake kingdom's entrance (Junior was very knowledgeable about such things) and headed down. They hadn't even stepped off the ladder before an uproar began.

"It's Skales Junior! He's found!" bellowed a snake who seemingly appear out of nowhere. The ninja tensed a little, hoping they wouldn't get attacked for kidnapping the heir to the snake throne or something. They needn't have worried, though; Junior gave a call of "haiiiiii!" and waved enthusiastically, ruling out most kidnap theories.

They were hustled down to the snake kingdom in minutes, Junior tugging eagerly at Lloyd's hand. As soon as they got onto the mossy grass of the main chamber, Junior abandoned his escorts entirely and shot ahead.

"Mama! Daddy!" he squealed, and dove into his parents' arms.

"Awww . . . " Nya tilted her head, smiling at the family reunion. Junior was at real and severe risk of being smothered, but he was still rattling on a mile a minute.

"Daddy, I learned 'ipnosis! I learned it! I did it! And I fought a lot of bad guys! And there were big shiny dragons! Didja miss me? Did my baby brother hatch? Aw Mama, don't cry, I'm 'kay! See? I 'ipnotized a bad guy and everything!"

"Well Lloyd, you're chopped liver now," joked Cole.

"Ah, hush. That's how it should be," mumbled Lloyd. "I was just a temporary guardian."

He was visibly taking it a little hard, though.

"Aww, don't worry. We still like ya." Kai ruffled his hair.

"Stahp." Lloyd pushed him off with an annoyed smile. Zane hugged him solemnly.

"Zannne . . . " Lloyd squirmed. "Okay, yeah, we'll have to work on this."

"What is wrong with you, don't you dare stop him," said Jay.

"I hate to bring this up," said Nya under her breath. "But what about the aliens? I'm guessing Junior's seen them a whole ton. What if he talks about them?"

"We did worry about that a little," said Kai. "But it's not like we had much choice. I guess we'll just have to hope he's bad at describing things. Maybe his parents will think it's something he made up or misunderstood."

"Yeah, besides, who are we kidding?" said Cole. "Humans burn their food, get water falling from the sky, and grow hair out of their faces. It'll be weeks before he even mentions the aliens."


As the fuss continued, the ninja started to feel a little awkward standing off to one side. They were just wondering if they should tactfully sneak away when someone finally caught sight of them. Then there followed a second fuss, but this time with the ninja approximately at its center. Which made them even more awkward.

Skales thanked them earnestly, Selma profusely. They invited everyone over to their home again—an offer which the ninja were a little embarrassed to accept, dirty and scruffy as they were. Still, it wasn't like they could decline.

Despite the ninjas' assurances that they could get to a hospital for their damages, the Serpentine insisted on providing treatment immediately. Cole got a salve which he said felt like cinnamon red hots for your skin; Jay was given new stitches and administered enough antibiotics to disinfect the entire population of Jamanukai Villlage. Meanwhile one of Shleena's apprentices stumped around the medical supply cave muttering despairingly and trying to find some crutches that would fit Kai. The fire ninja's good-natured protests that he'd be fine with just a splint went unheeded. Despite all the abuse he'd given that leg, he hadn't done anything worse than sprain it a bit more severely.

Skales and his family gave them lunch, which terrified them somewhat. To their everlasting relief, however, it turned out to be ham and cheese sandwiches. They had a very nice savory spiced spread instead of mayo, but Nya said that was probably hummus.

Probably.

It was a surprisingly nice lunch. Skales and Selma seemed much more trusting of them now—they were quite willing to show Nya the egg, which wasn't due to hatch for another few days. Still, the ninja were tired after their long battle. Eventually they started to hint tactfully that they'd like to be getting home, and the snakes very understandingly let them go. When the others went to fetch their backpacks or help with the dishes or help Selma pack up a few sandwiches for them, Kai was left alone in the living room, trying to get the hang of his crutches.

Skales Junior poked his head in.

"You want some candy, Unca Kai?" he offered, holding out a little cellophane packet. Kai squinted at the label—it appeared to be yogurt-covered nightcrawlers—then chuckled and shook his head.

"Us ninja gotta stay slim, kiddo."

Junior nodded sagely and dug into the packet himself. He perched on the table, munching, and watched as Kai stumped back and forth across the room.

"You were right," he said at last. "They didden forget me."

"Course not," said Kai. "The wouldn't. And good thing we got ya home in time to see your little brother hatching, huh?"

"Yeah." Junior's gaze turned to the egg still nestled in its alcove. When Kai made another circuit of the room, the snakelet slipped off the table to tug on his sleeve, looking around conspiratorially.

"Are you sure I'm gonna like having a li'l brother?" he whispered.

"Oh, you'll love it. Little brothers are the best."

"Oh." Junior thought about this for a moment, then looked up at Kai again. "Better'n li'l sisters?"

"Mm—no." Kai shook his head. "Those are the best too."

"Big brothers and sisters?"

"Better to be 'em, but having 'em isn't so bad either."

"Oh," said Junior again. He regarded the egg solemnly, his small face scrunched in thought. "You know just 'bout everything about this stuff, huh Unca Kai?"

"Pretty much," said Kai, trying not to smile.


Meanwhile, the others were pulling themselves together.

"Do you think we could just sorta leave quietly?" said Lloyd. "It might be easier on Junior."

"You mean without saying goodbye?" Jay raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Are you serious? That's no way to treat a kid!"

"Ah, he's probably busy with his parents, he won't notice we're gone," mumbled Lloyd.

"You just don't wanna be around when he starts crying," said Jay, folding his arms.

"Snakes don't cry, they chirp," said Lloyd. " . . . And yeah, so maybe I don't. It'll be harder on everyone if he has to see us leaving."

"C'mon, he'll be fine," said Cole. "You're chopped liver now, remember? But it's only decent to say goodbye properly after all we've been through."

"Fine, fine." Lloyd huffed. "But if he does start crying, and I have to hug him or something, I don't want to hear any smart comments, all right?"

"Geez. What kind of monsters do you take us for?"

Lloyd rolled his eyes, but sighed.

"I really hope he doesn't cry."

"Don't flatter yourself." Cole elbowed him playfully. "He'll be fiiiiiine."

No such luck. Junior went all to pieces. For all his reluctance beforehand, Lloyd didn't seem to think twice about anyone watching; as Junior latched onto his gi, he immediately crouched down to wrap his arms around the vehemently chirping snakelet.

"Hey, easy, easy," he murmured. "It's okay! We're not going away forever, we'll come back and visit really soon. If it's okay with your parents, I mean." He looked up to Skales and Selma with an apologetic smile, pleading for understanding with his eyes. Few things inspire the same amount of awkwardness as making someone else's kid cry.

"We would appreciate it," said Selma, giving a subtle wave to ease Lloyd's discomfiture. "He ssseems to have really taken to you."

"See, you hear that? I'll come to visit in no time, I promise," said Lloyd.

"And I'll be here one way or another, returning these crutches," said Kai. "I'll bring everyone I can with me."

"And once we get the Bounty fixed up, maybe you can even visit us!" said Cole. "Betcha never rode on a flying ship before, huh?"

Junior peered at him with one eye, his chirps slowing.

"Can I steer it?" he asked, muffled by Lloyd's gi. Nya laughed.

"Hey, sure. We let Kai steer."

"You're hilarious, sis," grumbled Kai.

"And we can teach you to play video games and Zane can make chicken dumplings and everything," said Jay. "How's that sound?"

"Can we do that soon?" Junior had calmed down entirely now, and was looking hopefully around at the ninja and Nya.

"Real soon, kiddo. Bring the whole family." Lloyd patted the snakelet's shoulder. "Gonna be okay now?"

"Uh-huh." Junior nuzzled in for one last tight hug, then pulled back and looked solemnly to Kai.

"An' I promise I'll tell all my friends in school about screaming. I'm gonna do it for show an' tell."

"Good going." Kai gave a scout salute. "It'll be a great service to us, kiddo."

Junior beamed. Nya took Jay aside.

"Explain to me how these are the same two people who were ranting how much they hated snakes three days ago."

Jay spread his hands, grinning cheesily.


"I wonder if I could come over and babysit on weekends."

They hadn't even gotten aboveground yet, and Lloyd was already planning their next visit.

"I mean, I bet his parents would like some alone time once in a while, especially before the new baby hatches. We could come over to take Junior on field trips aboveground—I bet he'd love the aquarium and Mega Monster Amusement Park. And maybe the museum, Borg Industries' science fair, someplace educational."

"Fizzims unpreceded," said Jay. "Somebody get this guy some offspring immediately."

"You're one to talk," said Kai. "You have aliens for kids."

He proceeded to pitch into Cole.

"Ugh," he grumbled, steadying himself on his crutches. "I thought these were supposed to help, not finish the job!"

"Hang on until we get aboveground, at least," said Cole. "They were nice enough to loan us crutches, let's not snub them. I can piggyback you once we get outside."

"Uhhh, no thanks." Kai huffed. "I'll just use my dragon."

"So, Kai," said Nya, steadying the red ninja as he tilted precariously to the left. "What was that head-rubbing thing they kept doing?"

"Head-rubbing thing?"

"Yeah. Selma and Skales would sometimes sorta pull their chins along the top of Junior's head, and he seemed to like it."

"Really? I dunno, I've never seen that before," said Kai.

"Oh, I researched it as soon as I saw it," said Zane. "That is a Serpentine custom: they do not have lips as we do, so they cannot kiss. Instead, they show affection through this practice of rubbing their chins along the tops and backs of each others' heads."

"No kidding?" said Kai. "Well, explains why I never saw it. Nnnnot a lot of kissing going on in the slobber trade, as you can imagine."

"Oh, they don't call it kissing. The practice is called nuffing."

"Wait, what?"

"N-U-F-F, verb only, no noun form."

"Are you serious?" Jay's eyes lit up. The others groaned.

"Jayyyyyy. Jay no. Jay don't," warned Cole.

"Don't do it!" said Lloyd.

"But see, if you're a teenage snake, that's probably how you get in trouble with your parents," said Jay, oblivious to complaints. "Being good-for-nuffing."

"Jayyyyyyyyyyyy . . . "

"Or when snakes get really really sad, nuffing can make them happy again!"

"Jay, somebody's going to hear you!"

"So? Much ado about nuffing!"

"Can you at least stop long enough for me to find something suitable to throw at you?"

"But what if it injures me and I have to go to the emergency room? They'll ask me how I got hurt, and I'm gonna have to tell them I got into a fight about nuffing."

"Hold me steady a minute, please? I'm going to clobber him with my crutches."

"Oh for Pete's sake." Cole groaned at Kai, who was already hopping for balance on one foot, making threatening jabbing motions at Jay with a crutch.

"I hate to admit it, but I missed you guys," said Nya, laughing.

"Yeah? Well, you can keep them," said Cole tiredly. "I'm so done with this crew."


A/N: Ech, proof this is a fantasy world. Average level of mutual hatred in the universe goes down instead of up. Haaaa.

Crediting Moonlight mm123 for the "nuffing" puns. Thanks for nuffing. ;)

Junior's a lucky kid. He has the full complement of uncles; Jay is the funny uncle, Cole is the uncle you can wrestle and go hiking with, Zane is the smart uncle who can answer all your questions, Kai is that uncle who acts way too cool for you but is actually really nice when you need him, and Lloyd is like a composite of all those uncles. And now the kid has a swell aunt, too.

On that note, there should soon be a bonus one-shot (requested) with just a little more about Junior!